Why curiosity beats waiting for intuition, inspiration, or complete information

*Do you feel like if you could only figure out what you want to do next in business or life, you’d finally be able to close that gulf between where you are now and where you actually want to be?

Last week I suggested that your best tool for making that happen – even if you have absolutely no idea what you want to do – has been sitting right under your nose.

It’s your curiosity.

This tool is simple and effective! It worked for me and so many others, including Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love. Right when things seemed darkest in her life she decided to sign up for an Italian class, and that one decision eventually led to her writing the bestseller that would change her life forever.

Let me show you why it works:

Both intuition and inspiration are tricky

If life were a Hollywood movie, you’d wait until you had an intuitive hit that told you exactly what you should be doing. It would happen when you were staring out over the ocean, or while reading a passage in a book.

In real life that doesn’t happen very often, especially if what you’re considering is something that feels risky.

Many times what we think is our intuition (telling us to cool our jets) is actually fear (telling us to play it safe).

Sometimes people wait to feel inspired in order to write that great novel or take the next step in their business … but that waiting can go on for decades.

In a crazy twist, the best way to activate your inner motivation and tap into your creativity is to show up regularly for yourself and your dreams.

Just think back to school and how many times you dragged your feet over writing a paper, only to find the words flow once you actually sat down and started writing.

That’s probably why a woman who has inspired thousands of people to launch and grow businesses loves to remind people:

“Clarity comes from engagement, not thought.” – Marie Forleo

What if there were no wrong decisions?

One of the biggest mistakes we make is taking our options too seriously.

We do that because we’re worried about making the wrong decision, and then being locked into that wrong decision forever.

But what if the majority of our decisions weren’t completely right or wrong, they were just different? And each one would teach us what we needed to get us to our final destination faster than if we’d done nothing at all … like two roads that meet at the same intersection.

If that’s true, then 50 years from now you’re going to wish you had lightened up and enjoyed the ride.

Think about it this way: 

You will never have completely perfect information.

And even if you could make the absolutely most “right” decision – if there were such a thing – eventually you’d change course anyway. Whatever it was you had or were doing just wouldn’t completely fit anymore. 

Because that’s what people like us do. We evolve.

You’re missing the bigger picture

Wasting too much time on just one decision is short sighted.

I’m a huge advocate of inner game work and introspection … up to a point. But eventually you need to get into action.

Because if you look at the big picture, you’ll see it’s not about whether you’re a person who lives here or there, or does this or that, or wants widgets or wodgets.

It’s not about the specific life change you make. It could be as dramatic as running off to a Buddhist monastery or as benign as planting a garden.

What matters is that you’re a person that evolves, or takes risks, or won’t settle, or whatever else resonates with you. And your next step helps you learn, gain momentum, remain limber, and walk the walk.

It all comes down to who you are, and your transitory choices are mere reflections of that identity.

When thinking about your business, remember that it’s not about the specific step or even the specific business.

It’s about you being an entrepreneur. And the next step helps you acquire skills, and understand both your customers and your own preferences more fully. It helps you walk the walk.

So when you’re not sure what to do, think less about your choices, and more about what making a choice says about you.

Live in integrity with how you want to be in the world, and you’ll probably end up surpassing your original destination.    

And your curiosity – because it’s almost always instantly available, because it’s lighthearted, and because it’s a reflection of who you are - is the best place to start.

Here’s to walking the walk,

Jenna

P.S. Extra credit: Watch Ruth Chang’s TED talk, and ask yourself if there really are right decisions.

P.P.S. I'd love to know what YOU are feeling curious about! Are there times when you've waited too long to take action? Let's talk about it in the comments.

What to do when you have absolutely no idea what to do

Right now you’re here in life, and what you really want is to be there.

So you plug your destination into GoogleGoals and it spits out a plan. If you speed a little, you can even arrive before scheduled. Simple, right?

If only! 

In reality, we often only have vague outlines of how we’d like our life to be, and absolutely no idea how to get there.

The problem when people tell you to get started now

The problem with reading posts like Why You Need Clarity Now is that they can make you feel worse about yourself.

They tell you why you need to Seize the Day! and Get into Action! … but how are you supposed to do that if you can’t figure out what direction to take?

If you knew what to do, you’d be doing it.

Can you tell me what I’m supposed to do?

I’ve written before about the West Village fortune teller who broke my heart when she wouldn’t tell me what I should be doing with my life. (It was one of those end-of-the-rope moments. Don’t judge.)

She said that I, unfortunately, was the only one that could decide. 

She was right, of course. But it wasn’t what I needed to hear. It left me more confused than before and didn’t move me even one step in the right direction.

Here’s what I wish she had said:

It’s time to follow your curiosity.

This is how it works. 

I call it the Curiosity Concept.

If you’ve done your brainstorming, your journaling, your reflection, your research, and your meditation, and yet you’re still exactly where you started…

It’s time to get moving.

And in the absence of clear direction, the best way to find clarity is to follow your curiosity.

Here’s how the Curiosity Concept works in business: 

If you have no idea what kind of business you should launch, but you’ve been feeling curious about whether there would be demand for that thing that comes so easily to you…

If you’re struggling to decide which social media platform to focus on, but there’s one that seems more interesting…

If you’re undecided about which provider to use, but you’re intrigued by a package offered by one of them…

…then follow your curiosity.

Ask yourself, “What would I be interested in learning about, writing about, and speaking about for the next six months or a year? What would I be curious to work on or with?”

Here’s how it works for life in general:

If you don’t know what to do with your life, but you’re feeling curious about a course at the local college…

If you know something needs to change in your life (but don’t know what), and you’re feeling curious about Toastmasters…

If you want to meet the partner of your dreams, and you’re feeling curious about rock climbing…

…it just might be the stepping stone you need. 

Ask yourself, “What would I like to spend time doing? What’s something that has always seemed interesting, and keeps turning up in one way or another? What’s something I’d like to know more about, talk more about, and experience more?”

That’s way too easy!

Sound too good to be true? It’s not. Next week I’ll show you why this works.

You don’t have to quit your job, invest in an MBA, then move across the ocean in order to make your dreams happen. You just need to take one tiny step forward.

Don’t do what I did. Don't waste over a decade waiting to “know.”

During that time, I talked myself out of literally hundreds of business opportunities. (And tens of potential life partners, too.)

In the end, it took a combination of thinking AND moving for things to begin to gel.  

Here’s to the power of your curiosity,

Jenna

P.S. If you'd like to speak to someone personally about your specific fork-in-the-road, let’s hop on a call and see if it makes sense for us to work together.

7 ways to respond if someone asks about your ‘real job’

They probably say it with the best intentions.

After all, they’re only looking out for you…. Or maybe they’re honestly baffled. How can it be work if you don’t have a boss?

Then again, maybe they’re trying to justify their own life choices.

Either way, it can sting when someone asks if you plan on getting a real job (or going back to work, or…).

Sometimes it comes right after you’ve expressed some sort of frustration with your business, or when you’re grappling with early-stage growing pains, or when you’re first confiding the vision you have for the future … i.e. exactly when you’re feeling most vulnerable!

How do you respond? With anger, sympathy, humor, logic? Do you trade rudeness for rudeness, flip the script, or instead try to start a conversation that might benefit both of you?

One thing’s for certain: We do NOT want you caught off guard, stuttering your way through a response! The fact is that each time we help someone open their mind to non-traditional modes of work, the better it is for all of us.

That’s why we asked current stay-at-home entrepreneurs to share their best responses. 

Choose a couple, practice in front of the mirror, and get ready to Jedi mind-trick the next person that opens up this conversation….

Flip the script

“I ask them in the nicest possible way when they are going to get a real job. One that works to their talents, that they love, that they want to get up in the morning for.” -- Rachel Percy, researcher, blogger and coach at www.wellbeingatworkdr.com

"Good news! I’ve found an employer that truly has my career and well-being in mind. One who won’t lay me off due to investor focus on short-term results. Management that sees all of what I can bring to the table making me more passionate as an employee. The work conditions and the potential for career satisfaction and growth is immense. With the movement towards a gig economy where big companies are choosing to contract employees rather than taking on the cost of idle or down time, my employer is a more conscious business. The gig economy is a bell weather for a bigger trend coming in the workforce. Working for yourself has all these benefits, job security etc., as long as the person’s business savvy is as good as their craft, discipline or trade.”

“Tomorrow’s jobs will look more like mine than like yours, my friend.”

Short and sweet

“I have one, thanks!” -- Ionela Spinu, lifestyle coach at www.getlifestylegems.com

“Everyone’s going to have an opinion [but] they don’t necessarily deserve a response beyond, “I love what I do, and believe me, it’s more than enough work to keep me busy.” -- Maya Hampton, joy expert at www.SayYes2Joy.com  

“Getting paid makes this a real job.” -- Jessica Scotten, founder of Pineapple Relations, www.pineapplerelations.com 

“Thanks for your concern, but I’m doing fine.”

Point out the facts

“My dad expressed concern once that working for myself wasn’t as stable as my previous corporate jobs. I just let him know that three of those previous companies had since downsized and eliminated my former positions, so I felt that working on my own these days is actually more stable because I know for sure I won’t downsize myself.” -- Nicole Croizier, marketing coach for passionate solopreneurs,www.lovewhatyoudoagain.com

“I would ask him what benefits he gets from what he calls a ‘real job.’ Working from home has a bunch of benefits beyond what he might answer.” Ahmed Elsayed, virtual assistant, http://www.egyva.com

“An employer keeps too much of the profits that I generate. I’d rather have them in my pocket.”

Get passionate

“Tell them to eff off.” 

“I’m not a compliant robot.”

“I’d rather starve to death.”

“Take the real job and shove it.”

Curiosity

“I guess I’d ask them, ‘What do you mean by a real job? Seriously, I’m curious to know exactly what you mean by that….’ engaging with them with curiosity rather than defensively … might be an interesting conversation! In my experience different people mean different things by ‘real job’ and for most of us who say that, or indeed have lived it, how we define it depends greatly on what was considered acceptable in our family/social circle.” -Denise Barnett, somatic therapist, Soul Motion® teacher and business consultant at www.denisebarnettsomatics.com  

Promote yourself

“Smile and be a shameless self-promoter. Be proud of what you do.” -- Allie Kloster, social media strategist at www.alliekloster.com

“Usually I give a version of my ‘elevator’ pitch. Then add, ‘Believe me, it’s real work…. If I ever feel like I need to make a change, I will.’ Then I walk away kind of abruptly if I can. I want them to know that they were rude.” -- Kathleen Green, author and speaker, www.shepersistedblog.wordpress.com   

“I tell them to get a peek at my bank account.”

Humor

“Someone’s gotta wear these pajamas.” -- Kylie Ansett, author whisperer at www.authorwhisperer.com.au

“I don’t have the stomach for that kind of uncertainty!” 

“But how will I get Tuesday afternoon facials if I’m stuck in an office?”

Now take a look within.

In all seriousness, if you feel hurt by this kind of question it’s worth digging into a bit.

Things that touch a nerve often reflect your own beliefs. Do you believe that your current project is realistic? Do you believe that being your own boss is sustainable?

If not, be prepared for more and more of these subtle attacks, because others always mirror our deepest fears and beliefs (which helps us expose them, so thank you).

Think about this: If somebody told you your hair was blond, and you knew it was black, you probably wouldn’t feel wounded by their statement. You’d assume that they didn’t speak the language, or had an eye problem, or were making a joke. Whatever. 

And then you’d carry on with your day and forget about it.

Getting to the root of this is some of the most important inner-game work you’ll ever do.

It will greatly influence your likelihood of success. It effects how you feel and the energy you bring to your project. It affects whether people will want to work with you or invest in you. And these all directly affect your bottom line.

At the end of the day, nobody’s opinion really matters but yours:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena….” –Franklin Delano Roosevelt

Here’s to staying in the arena,

Jenna

P.S. Ready to see the difference this kind of inner-game work can make for you? Let’s hop on a call and see if it makes sense for us to work together.

3 sweet steps to unlearn fear and gain back your confidence

Have you ever felt like if you just had the confidence to be who you really are (or trust your gut, or believe in yourself) you’d be able to do that thing you’ve been dreaming about?

Let’s talk about that confidence thing.

Last week I explained that the tricky part isn’t gaining confidence. It’s unlearning fear. And I promised to tell you just how to do it.

Most fear is learned …

Scientists aren’t in complete agreement over the biological underpinnings of fear. But the current bulk of research points to this:

1) We are born with very few innate fears, such as the fear of falling, fear of loud noises, and fear of being left alone / starving.

2) We are also predisposed to other fears, which are a factor of our environment. If our parents are afraid of spiders or we have no access to the ocean, we’re more likely to grow up with a fear of spiders or the ocean. If not, then those fears don’t develop.*

3) But the vast majority of our fears accumulate over time. They are learned orassociative fears. Did you stand up to your older brother, only to find yourself knocked to the ground? Then maybe you felt more fearful about standing up to a grade school bully, and later to your boss (especially if the “lesson” was repeated several times).

We are ALL taught fear.

Bad things lurk around every corner when we’re growing up!

• A car will hit us if we don’t look both ways, then look again.

• We’ll get ridiculed by the teacher if we give the wrong answer.

• Our friends will jeer at us if we stand out from the crowd.

• And never, ever talk to strangers.

Consequently, most of us carry some degree of fear of upsetting others, of not being loved or not fitting in, of failing, of never measuring up.

We fear the terrible consequences dreamed up by our imagination.

The point is, a lack of confidence is NOT what causes your struggles.

Dawn Barclay, whose life’s work is helping people unlearn fear, says,

“A lack of confidence is not the cause, it’s the effect.”

… so luckily we can unlearn it

The great news is that if fears are learned, you can unlearn them.

Here’s what you need to understand: Your brain is extremely sensitive to similarity.

If it perceives that a situation is similar to something that happened in the past, the amygdala, a tiny little almond-shaped section of the brain, will orchestrate the release of specific neurotransmitters triggering a very precise emotion.

This can happen completely unconsciously; you won’t even realize WHY your palms are sweaty or you’re suddenly feeling sick to your stomach.

Luckily, we have another part of the brain called the neocortex, which processes logic. It’s only a few cells thick, but it’s a powerhouse that covers the entire brain.

Thanks to the neocortex, we can stop and employ logic when we feel those familiar negative emotions spring up. No matter your fears, you have a choice when it comes to how you react to each new situation. 

As Eleanor Roosevelt famously said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” 

The key takeaway here is that emotions are reflexive but behaviors are a choice.

To unlearn fear, follow these steps:

To unlearn fear, you need to pay close attention to your thoughts and feelings. (Just give it a go. It gets MUCH easier the more you do it.)

When you feel the familiar discomfort of fear, remember The Three Rs:

Recognize --> Reframe --> Reprogram

1) Recognize what’s going on.

Take a hard look at how fears are getting in your way, in order to aid your determination to shed them.

Interview yourself about the stories and baggage in your head. Where did they come from? When do you first remember feeling that way?

Recognize that those are beliefs but not necessarily truths. Sometimes the way we remember something isn’t even how things really went down!

You are what you believe. Only you can reprogram your beliefs, and it takes a firm, daily commitment. The thoughts you repeat in your head are your own responsibility. (That doesn’t mean you should judge a thought when it arises. Just acknowledge it and move on to the next step.)

2) Reframe your thoughts

Take this familiar fear, for example: “If I fail, I’ll never be able to live it down.” Find a different perspective that is kinder and likely more accurate: “I probably won’t fail, but if I do, it won’t be the end of the world.”

Remember that you were naturally confident in the past, and bring to mind areas in your life where you still feel confident.

Replace negative self-talk with compassionate self-talk or humorous back-talk. When your inner monologue says, “You’re such a loser,” immediately respond with “I’m amazing,” or even “You’re obviously wearing blinders! I’ve got winner written all over me!”

3) Reprogram your emotional response

Now don’t just say it … take a second and FEEL it. Imagine the feeling of being amazing, of being a winner. The human brain has an uncanny capacity for empathy. Just imagining being a winner can trigger the same neurotransmitters that would be released if you had actually won something.

Practice. The more positive associations you can make with the situations that used to trigger fear, the more you will override the release of fear-inducing neurotransmitters. Prove to yourself that you won’t let fear stop you, and that the world doesn’t end when you forge ahead.

Each time you take one little baby step past an old fear, reward yourself heartily and flood that brain with feel-good juice! 

The long game

This is how, over time, you’ll unlearn your original fear and relearn a different, more positive response to similar stimuli. 

(Can you imagine yourself about to enter a room full of strangers and feeling excited rather than nervous and grumpy?**)

Happily, once you disprove a previously held belief, it’s hard to ever adopt that old belief again. ​​

So next time you’re about to do something that feels a little scary, think of it this way:

Maybe the only thing you stand to lose is fear! Which leaves the door to your future wide open with possibility….

Here’s to releasing your fears,

Jenna

P.S. Please do me the favor of sharing this article with your friends, because everyone who wants to live an uncommon life could benefit from less fear.​ Thanks!

*Some scientists believe these are actually innate fears, but do not form until later in life when the brain has matured more fully.

**I’m not there yet, either. But I’ve gotten to the point where I can at least feel neutral rather than miserable :-)

Stop trying to gain confidence (do this instead)

Do you wish you could gain more confidence?

If we did, then we could be more like them. You know … those people who are perfectly comfortable in their own skin.

They don’t care what people think of them. They have no shame talking about what they want to achieve, and they speak easily and naturally whether they’re on stage or live video or one-to-one.

It’s like … Are they drinking special water? And can I buy it at Whole Foods?

Nope. A little tequila gives a temporary boost, but unfortunately there’s no such thing as a long-term confidence elixir….

“I just don’t feel confident.”

Most people assume they feel insecure because they’re deficient. They weren’t born with the genes, or didn’t have the right upbringing, or haven’t received the affirmation that those others have. And that’s just the way it is.

I disagree.

You can become more confident, because the way you feel now is NOT a fixed state.

(If you aren’t familiar with the difference between a fixed and growth mindset, you can read about it here. It’s critically important, so don’t skip it!)

So yes, while your confidence will grow, it’s probably not in the way you assume.

Confidence isn’t about gaining anything. It’s about losing something!

And that something is FEAR.

My favorite example:

Next week I’ll talk more about the biological and social underpinnings of fear and how to unlearn it. 

But in the meantime, look at it this way:

Does a baby crumble into a pool of tears and misery when everyone around it walks easily on two feet? Does it decide to just stick to what it knows rather than forging ahead?

Think about it.

The baby has virtually no leg strength and even less coordination. If we were in that situation, wouldn’t it seem nearly hopeless?

Would we have the fortitude to keep trying day after day, month after month, slowly building our skills and assuming we’d eventually get there?

Would we keep smiling and laughing, or would we feel ashamed and insecure each time we stumbled (especially in front of our older brother who’s skipping and running as if it ain’t no thing)?

At one point, we did all of that and more (don’t even get me started on the complexities of language acquisition or social behaviors)!

And we did it fearlessly.

That unstoppable sense of adventure and confidence with everything you do … not your present set of responses … is your innate state.

Here’s to that old you (which has already brought you so far),

Jenna

P.S. Did this post help you remember a time when you did something, and looking back now it seems SO BRAVE?! I'd love to hear about it. Let me know in the comments!

4 reasons it’s so tough to find your calling if you’re an abstract thinker

I can remember it clear as day: A sunny, warm afternoon in NYC, flowers in bloom…

…and me stuffed in a dark subterranean basement in the Village begging a $10 palm reader to tell me what I was meant to do with my life.

I was that desperate!

I even felt my eyes prick with tears when she said she couldn’t tell me.

By my late twenties I felt like everyone else had it all figured out, while I was more confused than ever and becoming increasingly self-flagellating about the whole thing.  

I liked lots of things, but nothing was “it.”

(Or if it was it, it was only it for a few months or maybe a year until I either grew bored or got distracted by a different it.)

Luckily, I've learned a thing or two since then.

Why it’s different for abstract thinkers

Last week I talked a bit about what an abstract thinker is, how abstract thinking is different than concrete thinking, and that while we all use both types of thought we tend to gravitate to one dominant style.

It may seem obvious now that abstract thinkers would have it tougher than concrete thinkers when it comes to choosing one specific course of action. But let’s take a moment to highlight four of the top reasons:

4 things that make it difficult for abstract thinkers to choose

1. FOMO – Abstract thinkers live in the realm of possibility, so they’re super susceptible to FOMO (fear of missing out). If you can imagine the grass being greener, then it’s entirely possible that it truly is greener. It’s also possible that your skills might be better suited elsewhere, that you could make a bigger contribution, be more appreciated, or have a better quality of life. The list goes on and on…

2. Curiosity – Similar to #1, abstract thinkers are highly curious because they gravitate to patterns and associations (as well as what doesn’t fit within a pattern). One seemingly benign new piece of information can have their mind making connections with something completely different that they learned long ago, or a new hypothesis that just occurred to them … and of course then they’ve got to find out more. Their curiosity inevitably leads them to discover potential careers that their more concrete-thinking colleagues might never consider.

3. Is it enough? – Abstract thinkers spend a lot of time thinking about meaning and the bigger picture, which leads them to second-guess their jobs. It might not be “enough” to be good at something or enjoy something, unlike many concrete thinkers that are focused on the here and now. Abstract thinkers have to talk themselves into believing that their chosen vocation has meaning.

4. Details seem incomplete – Since abstract thinkers naturally gravitate to the big picture, anything too detailed or concrete seems incongruous to their nature. It’s as if something is missing. For instance, they may love to travel and people might suggest that they become a travel agent or flight attendant or travel blogger. But somehow, none of those feels right. Each is only one tiny facet of the greater travel experience.

So if you’re a big-picture, abstract thinker who has struggled with narrowing down your vocational interests … don’t do what I did. Don’t take it out on yourself.

Recognize that your situation is an understandable consequence of the way your brain works, period. That doesn’t mean your situation is hopeless. It doesn’t mean you’re doomed to be a drifter, squandering your education and potential. It simply means that you have to go about your search in a different way.

And that’s what we’ll talk about next week.

Here’s to recognizing the advantages of your uncommon way of thinking,

Jenna

9 signs you’re an abstract thinker

Are you an abstract thinker?

And what does that mean, exactly? Does it mean that your thoughts resemble a Picasso?

Ahem. Well, maybe a little. But more on that later….

The truth is that we all utilize both concrete and abstract forms of thought depending on the situation. It’s just that most people naturally gravitate to a dominant, preferred style. And that makes a big difference in how you are in life.

Concrete thinkers are more comfortable in the here and now, with what they can witness and demonstrably prove. They want to know the exact steps and often have little patience with changing plans or new ideas. They don’t like it when they have to try to read between the lines, or when instructions are ambiguous.

Abstract thinkers can’t help but think about how everything relates to the bigger picture. What’s the deeper meaning, what are the trends and patterns, what are the possibilities? They quickly make cross-disciplinary associations and are comfortable with metaphor and subtext. And if they have some basic familiarity with a subject, they'd much rather receive general guidelines than step-by-step instructions. 

So maybe it’s not too far-fetched to say a concrete thinker’s thoughts are more Photorealism while an abstract thinker is more Cubism.

Put another way:

Imagine that a concrete thinker and an abstract thinker both attend a webinar on generating Facebook engagement.

A concrete thinker might focus on the exact tactics that have been proven to work for others.

An abstract thinker might be more interested in what those tactics say about human nature and how the lessons can be applied to all aspects of human interaction within business (and beyond) to motivate, inspire and create connection.

Here’s another example. When people first attend yoga classes, they spend a lot of time focusing on the exact technique for the poses and breathwork. They want to get everything exactly “right.”

Only later will most people start to realize how much the lessons apply to life in general – mindfulness, non-reaction, accepting your limits, and safely challenging your limits. While it’s a great way to exercise the body, yoga poses are first and foremost a way to concretize the more abstract concepts of yogic philosophy.  

Ok. Without further explanation, here are 9 signs that you’re an abstract thinker:

 
1) After hearing a new piece of trivia, you find yourself thinking about how something completely different might be related to what you learned. 

2)  You know those kids that keep asking, “Why?” They’ve got nothing on you. You ignore the eye-rolls and don’t stop questioning until you’re satisfied.

3)  Instruction manuals might be ok the first time, but afterwards you assume that the principles apply to all similar equipment. 

4)  You’re more interested in the intent behind the rules than the letter of the law.

5)  You have trouble remembering precise historic details, but you can talk about the general trends.

6) You spend time thinking about the Big Questions. What’s the meaning of life? What’s the nature of consciousness? Why?

7) If someone wants to motivate you, they’ve got to tell you why it’s important, and not just how to do it.

8) In fact, scratch telling you how to do it. You just want the objective and maybe some minimal guidelines, and you'll do the rest. Step-by-step instructions make you yawn. 

9) You get bored with routine. You tend to look for new ways to do things, and don't mind changing course if it might provide a better outcome.

Both types of thinkers have it easier in some ways than others, and are better suited to certain tasks than others. I’ll talk more about that in the future.

Jenna

In the meantime, is there something in this post that you relate to (or is completely unlike you)? Let me know in the comments, or head over to our Facebook group, Women Taking the Leap, to find others who think similarly.

5 great things your indecision says about you

We’re surrounded by advice to start before we’re ready, push through the fear, and act on ideas quickly. So if you’re feeling uncertain and struggling to make up your mind about what to do next, it’s easy to feel deficient.

(Cue the negative self-talk…)

But when reasonable advice becomes so prolific that you feel surrounded, chances are high that groupthink has come into play. So let’s take a second look.

Maybe your indecision isn’t such a bad thing. Maybe, it’ll serve you really, really well in the long run….

Can’t decide what to do with your life … or even what to do next? Here are 5 ways that it can help you in the long run:

1) At least you recognize that you want change

Sometimes, realization is the most elusive step. But you’re already there. In the words of philosopher Eric Hoffer, “It is the awareness of unfulfilled desires which gives a nation the feeling that it has a mission and a destiny.” The same can be said of individuals. Unlike too many people that you probably know, you have the self-awareness to recognize that something’s not right and the desire to overcome that dissonance.

2) It shows that you’re open to possibilities

If you refrain from choosing an option because you tend to come up with new ideas or your ideas evolve with changing circumstances, you likely have a high level of creativity and openness. And those are two traits absolutely essential to companies that are struggling to innovate and remain relevant. Scientific American describes openness as “the drive for cognitive exploration of inner and outer experience,” and says it is the “personality trait most consistently associated with creativity.”

Besides, your first ideas are usually the most conventional, says Wharton professor Adam Grant in his book Originals: How Nonconformists Move the World. There’s nothing wrong – and a lot right – with stopping to consider the big world of possibilities out there rather than following along with what seems reasonable. Like the discoverers who said, “There might be something there beyond that ocean” despite prevailing wisdom, openness to possibilities is a trait of visionaries.

3) You’re thinking strategically

Even if your hesitancy is due to analysis rather than a constant influx of new ideas, it points to a useful skill: strategic thinking. “If this happens, then that would happen, and then either this or that, and if so then.…” It’s an important survival skill that just happens to be important in business, too.

While the chessboard analogy feels outdated in today’s business environment, strategy and anticipating the future will never go out of style. In the words of hockey star Wayne Gretzky, “A good hockey player plays where the puck is. A great hockey player plays where the puck is going to be.” In business (and life), the best players stay ahead of the competition.

4) You want to make informed decisions

There’s an important psychological term called “planning fallacy” which describes is a delusional optimism leading to poor decision making rather than a rational weighing of gains, losses and probabilities. You don’t want that. Information-gathering aids in the decision-making process, period. (Yes, too much information can lead to analysis paralysis, but that doesn’t mean we should throw the baby out with the bathwater.)

When the U.S. military tries to bridge the gap between a complex, ever-changing environment and actionable tactics for moving forward in that environment, they use a process called “operational design.” The key first step in that process? Develop a thorough understanding of all aspects of the surrounding environment.

5) Reflection and introspection are attributes of the gods

Too dramatic? Maybe. Let’s put it this way: experience teaches, but so does “the intentional attempt to synthesize, abstract and articulate the key lessons taught by experience.” (Otherwise known as reflection.) Reflecting on the world around us helps us process and retain information better, leading to better decisions.

Even when people are introspective, turning their gaze inward and reflecting upon their own tendencies, feelings and behaviors, it correlates to better consistency in planning and decision-making and increased business performance.

To tie this up, I’ll explain how this all relates to what I’ve been saying over the last month:

A few weeks ago I shared an impassioned story, imploring you not to wait another minute before acting on your dreams. In the following weeks, I talked about the biggest mindset shift necessary to take that leap. Then this week I thought, “But what about people that don’t quite know what they want to do?”

I deeply and wholeheartedly relate to your pain.

For years I struggled with a burning desire to DO … but little direction. It was heartbreaking. I felt like my life and potential were being wasted, and I hated myself for not being more decisive or having more self-understanding.

Today, my job is to help people in similar circumstances get into action … which is why many act surprised when I point out what’s so great about their indecision.

But hindsight and decades of education are beautiful things, and I’m simply telling you what I wish someone had told me:

The inclination towards indecision is grounded in wonderful traits that can serve you well in the future, so hold your head high.

Now I would really love to hear: What kinds of decisions are you struggling with? Which of the points to you most identify with? Let me know in the comments below.

Here’s to taking just the right amount of time to act,

Jenna

P.S. While it’s fantastic to recognize the positive traits that restrain impulsive decision-making, it goes without saying that your eventual success will require action. If you’re at the point where you’ve spent enough time on analysis and want to move forward, or simply need someone to hash through your ideas with, let’s hop on a call to see if it makes sense for us to work together.

Use this to get unstuck and give perfectionism the boot

“Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.”  

- Ira Glass

What Ira’s describing here – the belief that crappy beginnings will turn into mastery with enough practice and trial+error – is a “growth mindset.”

Embrace it, and you can watch your confidence, perseverance, and learning ability soar. It will even help you cultivate self-acceptance when you’re starting something new, so you can escape the death grip of perfectionism.
 
That’s why it’s usually the very first thing I dive into with my confidence or performance coaching clients.

Unfortunately, the growth mindset has an evil alter ego that you need to watch out for: the “fixed mindset.” And it's much, much more common!

A fixed mindset assumes that if your initial product is crappy, then you’re probably just not very good at that kind of thing. (Sound familiar?) Extra work won’t change reality.

Here’s an example. It doesn’t surprise us that we can 10x our athletic performance and mold our bodies if we sweat it out at the gym long enough with a great personal trainer. 

But as for things like talent or mental performance? Well, most people think they've either got it or they don’t.

Not so fast. It turns out that cognitive performance can be increased. (And according to Ira, so can creative mastery.)
 

Dr. Carol Dweck, the Stanford psychology professor who first coined the terms growth and fixed mindset, found that many underperforming children held the belief that they weren’t smart (or “just weren’t good at math,” as I used to tell myself). 

But when those same children began believing that learning was a process of trial and error where they could always assume they’d get better over time, the children not only scored better on tests but became more motivated to learn. 

Once you start to pay attention to real-life examples of the fixed mindset, you’ll be amazed by how limiting they are … and how they start to sound like excuses:

>>> I couldn’t build a website. I’m a dunce when it comes to technology.

>>> I’d never be able to afford a trip like that! I’m just not a good saver.

>>> I could never write a book. I’m just not disciplined enough.

So next time you’re unsatisfied with your work and tempted to use that as an excuse to stay stuck, give your crappy first efforts some love and remember that they’re what’s getting you closer to the mastery you dream about. Your next tries will be better because of it.
 
(And usually, it’s really not as bad as you think.)
 
Here’s to our incredible ability to choose, change and grow,
Jenna     

P.S. What's one area where you'd love to gain mastery? Get the support and accountability your need at the Uncommon Way Community Facebook group. Go ahead - tell us something you commit to working on ... declaring yourself in public has incredible, lasting power! See you there.

This old website makes me cringe!

As a recovering perfectionist, I know a thing or two about hiding my projects away. 

For most of my life, whenever I looked back on something I'd produced that no longer met my standards, I'd make it - um - disappear. And don't even get me started on all the things that never saw the (public) light of day.

But in the last decade-ish, I've started thinking about things in a different way. And to prove it, I'm sharing my old travel blog with you, Follow Ben and Jenna.

To be honest, I still cringe when I look at the blog. They layout is all crowded, there are broken links, the menus on the mobile site hardly work at all, and some of the writing is ... ahem. (Especially my earliest posts, like this one. "First we went here, and next we went here, and then we went here....")

But now I cringe in the way I do when I see a gawky preteen photo of myself. It makes me laugh and remember how awkward and new everything felt at the time. It makes we wish I could throw my arms around my earlier self and tell her, "Believe me: It's all going to be okay."

Coming to terms with the fact that we all start somewhere, that most of our early work is kinda crappy, but that it's totally okay and expected because that's exactly how we learn and get better, is the single most important thing for an entrepreneur or creative to wrap their head around.

Plus, people tend to be far more understanding than we might fear.

Fail to give perfectionism the boot, and you'll waste A LOT of unnecessary time and subject yourself to much unfortunate self-flagellation.

And next week I'll talk more about how exactly to start doing that.

Here's to giving perfectionism the boot,
Jenna