Ep #23: How to Run a Business Without Social Media

Episode Summary

Jenna explains why running a business without social media is 100% possible and how to do it.

Get clear on what you offer to whom and how to talk about it … plus actually believe it. Join us in our Clarity Accelerator 60-day bootcamp by scheduling a call here.

Enjoy the show? Leave a review to help other likeminded entrepreneurs gain clarity in their businesses.

If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.

Show Notes

So many entrepreneurs hate social media but feel like it’s just something they need to do in order to run their businesses. But being on social media is not a prerequisite for running a successful business, period. So are you ready to run a business that doesn’t rely on it?

Businesses have operated for thousands of years without social media, and all of those principles and tactics are still available to you. Social media might be an easier, cheaper way of having a storefront and shortening your client acquisition process, but it’s a choice you get to make; you are not a slave to it. So in this episode, I’m showing you how to see social media as a tool that you can choose to avail yourself of.

If you’re thinking of ditching social media in your business, you don’t want to miss this episode. I’m clearing up the overthinking and misconceptions once and for all and showing you how to run a social-media-free business. Learn how to build the belief that you don’t need social media to have a successful business and some tips and suggestions to help you get out once and for all.

What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

• Some beliefs I used to have about running a business without social media.

• How much opportunity you have to create what you want in the world.

• What you need in order to say goodbye to social media.

• How to show up on social media from a much cleaner place.

• The only thing keeping you from having the business you want.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

• If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.

• Click here to sign up for my newsletter and find out how the Connect The Dots Method has helped clients in all stages of their business.

• Follow me on Instagram for behind-the-scenes content and daily value bombs!

• Ep #22: The Model: How Your Thoughts Affect Your Life

• Ep #11: The Birthday Cake Strategy for Getting Clients

• Ep #7: 5 Steps to Nail Your Messaging

• Ep #5: Knowing Your People 101

Full Episode Transcript:

“I have no other choice. But wait, do I? No, no, this is my only option. Except, maybe it's not.” If this is what it sounds like in your mind when you're thinking about whether or not to ditch social media in your business, we are going to clear up the overthinking and misconceptions, once and for all. You do not need to be on social, period.

You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life, by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top ranked business coach and reformed overanalyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.

Y'all, welcome back to The Uncommon Way. Fun fact; I am sitting in the car, in my dad's garage, recording this; I think that is worth bringing up because so often, we let all sorts of things stop us from just doing what we need to do. And I love thinking about how it's not about pushing yourself, and hustling, and making things happen. It's really about no longer making things a problem, right?

It's not a problem that the audio might sound a little different; I'll have this fun story to tell in the future. And that, you can all relate to, no matter where you are in your business, you just kind of make things work. And speaking of the trip, I was thinking back on how I've been able to take a trip every month; some have been planned, some have been spontaneous. I am so grateful, and really grounding into the fact that we have businesses like this nowadays, where we can do that.

And I just wanted to share that with you and celebrate that all together. It is so amazing. Just being here with my dad, and remembering how he used to work, my dad and my stepmom, and seeing what's available to us now, is just something that really blows my mind. And reinforces to me, that this is why we do the foundational work in the beginning.

I remember wondering, is it really possible? Is this all just some big Ponzi scheme, or some pipe dream, sold to poor innocent souls? And now I know it's available to us. It takes commitment, but it also takes constraint, right? Really focusing on what's truly important in your business.

I went through a couple years where I wasn't really producing anything, and I was focused on all the wrong things. And now, I see that the longer you spend in mind drama and in activities that don't move the needle, the longer it all takes.

Okay, today's episode is by listener request. It's somebody who left a review and said they would really love to know how to create a business without social media, and to run a business that doesn't rely on social media. And so, this is going to be a zero woo episode; it's gonna be straight up business.

I'm just noticing that there really is this balance between sharing, with you all, what I know you need to know, right? That you don't know that you need to know. And this is all coming just based on what's going on with my clients at the moment; I can see what will be so helpful for you.

But on the other hand, also responding to exactly what you want to know. I want to strike that balance, but of course, I really need your input so that I can make this so valuable for you. So, please do leave a review. And really, that's the best holiday present that you could leave me, by the way.

I don't know about you, I have this thing going with Ben, where he is so hard to shop for. And I just think, “Oh my God, just tell me what you want.” Because I find myself wanting him to just tell me. I always make sure to just tell him exactly what I want, right? So, I'm just going to do the same with you, because maybe you're like me.

And so, if you're wondering, that is what I would love for the holidays. And if you tell me what you want, where you're looking to grow, learn, maybe if you're stuck somewhere, if you let me know that, I will be happy. In fact, thrilled to give back.

Okay, down to business. I know it seems like something I have to do, you just have to do it, but you do not need to be on social media to have a successful business. Today, I'll be helping you build your belief in that, and I'll be giving you some tips and suggestions, so that you can either get out, once and for all, or continue to show up but from a much cleaner place. You knowing that you don't have to be on social, you want to.

And to start this whole discussion, we have to begin with mindset. Of course, first, you've just got to think about the fact that businesses have operated for thousands of years without social media. Let that sink in. All of those principles and tactics, they're still available to you.

Social is just an easier, cheaper way of having a storefront and shortening your client acquisition process, that's it. But it's a choice you get to make, you're not a slave to it. It's a tool that you can choose to avail yourself of. And you might be wondering right now, well, what are the other tools? And I would answer, how long do you have? You know, we could probably spend until next New Year’s talking about all of them.

But I could do that, I could create a podcast just of all the different possible tools, and it still wouldn't do anything if you didn't believe that those were a viable option for you. So, do you? Do you believe that you can go off social if you want to? This is the heart of what I do. Right? I help women see how much opportunity they have to create what they want in the world, and then help them resource their own power to go make it happen.

If you're living in a state of victimhood, which, my friends, is exactly what's happening when you say, “I hate social media, but I have to be on it.” If you're believing that you aren't capable of creating what you want, unless a thousand others have done it first. Or, if you're given the exact playbook or someone tells you it's okay, then very little will ever change in your life. And the world will be deprived of your example; in your specific vision and genius.

So, just as a thought exercise now, just pretend that you never heard me saying that a social media-free business is 100% possible. And that I, myself, spent two years off of social and that, in 2022, I brought in multiple six-figures from a few landing pages; forget all of that. Just pause this recording, and see and think about what you would have to believe about business, about your clients, and about yourself, in order to move forward on creating a business without social.

Okay, that's powerful, right? Because what you're exposing there, is it’s showing you all the places where you can now go to work developing those beliefs for yourself. So, don't skip this, it's going to give you the roadmap of what you need to work on. I'm so curious about what came up for you. Maybe, you realize you need to believe your clients wouldn't care that you're never on social, right?

That being off, it wouldn't undermine your legitimacy. I remember that one for myself, especially as a business coach. Or, you'd have to believe that you're extremely resourceful, or that the universe supports you. Or, maybe you'd have to believe that regardless of what it did for your sales, what you'd learn during that process, and during that defined timeframe that you decided to be off social, was more valuable, right?

That is what propelled me. When I first made this decision, I knew that I wanted to take a step back from the business, and solely focus my thoughts on separating my sense of self-worth from the money that I was bringing in, or the things that I was doing, or the success I was seeing, outside of me. And, I wanted to do that radical experiment.

I'm not saying you should do it in that way, I'm just giving you an example of the beliefs that get exposed. Right now, I would think about this differently, but back then, basically, what I was showing myself was that if I were not on social, if I weren't doing all of these daily activities, I would feel like… fill in the blank. Right?

All the internal critic judgment I could think about myself; for being lazy, for being headed for failure, for not being motivated enough, all the ways that I would drive myself. If I had been able to expose that then, and I knew what I knew now about how I had the power to develop my brain, then I probably wouldn't have made that radical decision.

But you know what? It was an amazing experiment; I'm glad I did. It forced me into a different type of resourcefulness. And whatever comes up for you, you're not expected to be in full belief yet, right? If you were, you'd have the business. So, it's okay. But for the rest of this episode, just tell your brain that you're going to open yourself to believing this is doable, and you're just deciding how you want to do it. Just play with that.

And to my entrepreneurs that are doing really well on social right now; maybe, you're launching and you have large followings, but you hate social. I talk to so many of you, so often. The only thing keeping you from the business you want, is your mindset.

You can just choose to love social, that's one option, and stay with the status quo. Or, you can choose to get off social, because you probably have most of what you need to run a social media-free business. I'll talk about that more in a second. You just have to do it; you just have to develop the belief that you can do it.

And now, speaking to all of you new or established business owners, before you do it, step one, is just to decide how you want to run your business. Because wherever you are, I guarantee you have more opportunity than you're telling yourself you do. I have a client who was struggling just to find some people to talk to; I'm going to have her on the podcast soon.

But she was struggling to find some people to talk to, and was really resistant to social media. It hadn't even occurred to her that she had people just within her network that she could talk to. And, that's what she ended up doing. I have another client, much more established in business, and she only works for Facebook ads.

There are ways, my friends. So, what's it going to be for you? Is it going to be networking? Is it going to be ads, Facebook or local radio ads? Who knows? Are you going to leverage search engines? Are you going to partner with influencers? Are you going to put up flyers in Whole Foods? There are so many options.

And now, other than those mindset pieces, I've got some really good news for you. There's only one other thing that you really need, in order to say goodbye to social media. And, it's that strong business foundation. The same foundation of all business from the beginning of time, right? I'll say this over and over again, I want to shout it from the rooftops; it's not about the thing you're doing, it's about how you're doing it.

I'll just say that again; it's not about what you're doing, it's about how you're doing it. So, you could copy a seven-figure Facebook ads funnel; super, super successful. You could copy every single element of that; the type of ad, what the landing page’s like, the targeting secrets, all the different emails in the nurture sequence, everything.

And, you could still make $0 from that if you don't really know the problem that your people want solved. And, are you speaking to them in a way that makes them trust you to solve it? You really need those three main things; you need to know yourself, know your people, and be able to speak simply and clearly about how those two intersect.

You've got to know yourself and your secret sauce; what you really do, and believe you do it, right? If you don't believe, they sure as hell won't believe. I have a client who runs sales teams for tech companies. She knows everything about sales. But when she had a side hustle, selling MLM products, she just couldn't do it.

She thought, “How can I be so good at sales and yet suck at this?” But there was no conviction. My people aren't here just to make money, although we all love making money, but we like working for something that we truly believe in.

I used to work for an apparel company, and I remember thinking, “Does the world need another piece of clothing made in China?” It was hard for me to believe in it. And when you're a coach, that something that you believe in, has to be you; you are a big part of the product.

Do you know your edge? What you help people with? Why you're different? Do you live and breathe it? Can you talk about it confidently, without shame? Like, I live and breathe clarity, if you're a coach and you need to get clear on something in your business, you come to me. I didn't invent the title “The Queen of Clarity” for myself, but I'm not ashamed to use it.

Because yeah, nobody talks about clarity the way I do. Nobody teaches it the way I do. Nobody has gone through the fire of uncertainty and overthinking like I have, and come out on the other side with knowledge and simplicity like I have. It's not for everyone, but for those who want it, I'm the obvious choice. It makes sense. And that's not arrogance, it's fact.

It's not because of the number of clients I have, or certain certifications that I got for clarity, it's because I did the work to build my thoughts and beliefs, and it allows me to show up like it, now. If you want to get started on this yourself, listen to my last episode on The Model. I recognized this secret sauce of mine first, and then I cultivated my thoughts about it. And you can do that, too, for yourself. Or, I can help you do it for yourself.

And then, of course, you've got to know your people, right? What do they really want? How do they think and talk about the solution? It's amazing, now that I've been here with my dad. He was a pioneer in Silicon Valley back when people knew what computers were, but they didn't really know how they would ever serve them, what they'd ever really be used for.

And, he talked about problems that the sales department would have with the marketing department. The marketing department would be trying to convince people to adopt a certain type of method for their business, rather than going after the people that had already adopted that. And therefore, dated the software they were selling, to make that run more efficiently.

And so, the sales department would tell them, “You aren't really getting us clients. I don't know if you're creating clients for us 20 years from now, maybe, but right now, we need to make sales. And we should be going after the people that actually need this now.”

So, you need to understand the motivations of your people, right? You can be the best coach in the world, but if you don't know what makes your people opt in, or get on a call, or click to buy, you won't be making sales. And, where do your people hang out? You know, mine, Google things. What do your people do?

How can you speak to how those two things connect? How can you speak to how your offer, your edge, connects with their desires and their wants? My landing pages do well because I'm eating and breathing client language. I know my people like the back of my hand. Not just because I was them. And I'm thinking back to how I thought, but because I'm listening now, I never stopped listening.

Do you know how many people have told me they just wish they could articulate the value of what they offer? In those words; “I just wish I could articulate the value of what I do, so they'd want to buy.” And that's why I speak to this so often. And those people who are saying that, they aren't just any people, they're my people, my ideal clients. The heartfelt ones, the ones that show up to everything, that do the work, that are super easy to work with, and open and coachable. Those people.

I'm not using language from people I don't want to attract. There are just too many ideal clients out there for me to spend my focus on anyone else. And that's why I keep calling them in, over and over again. And my clients see this, too. When they start changing their language subtly, they start bringing in completely different people. And of course, when they change their mindset, that happens, too. But that's a story for another time. Like I said, no woo.

So, if you want more on this subject, go back and listen to my podcast, “Knowing Your People 101”. And the other episode, is Episode 7, “5 Steps to Nail Your Messaging”. So, go back to those for a primer. They'll get you so much further than, potentially, where you are right now, and what I see probably 80% of entrepreneurs or new entrepreneurs doing. If you need more personalized help, let's talk.

All of this is to say, you don't need to be on social. But if you want to make money, you need these fundamentals. This is the “how to” of running a social media-free business; it's building a strong foundation. It's that simple.

And then, you choose your one or two areas of focus, and you stick with it. You allow momentum to build, rather than throw your hands up in the air and say, “This isn't working,” and blame the platform. Or, blame your coach. Or, blame the industry for misleading you. Or, blame yourself for being such a failure.

And by the way, you might think, you probably will think all of those things while you're building your business; no shame, you have a human brain, right? But have a pity party in the evening, with some ice cream and Netflix. And then, get back up the next day and re-decide you're going to master this, and get back to work.

You're an entrepreneur after all; we have nerves of steel. What's the saying? Like, we do what 99% won’t, so that we can live like only 1% do. Seriously. My “work with me” page, it didn't start ranking immediately, the day I put up that copy. But that doesn't mean my messaging was off. It just took some time to rise.

You need to give yourself space for that momentum to build. And I was still selling, in the meantime. I was using the birthday cake strategy for getting clients, which you can also go back to listen to; I've made a podcast on that, as well.

Okay, so now that we've talked about how there's no magic formula for building a social media-free business, no one tactic, but instead, it's the real work that has fueled businesses for centuries, where you fulfill a demand. I want to let you know that I'll be recording an episode soon, on the benefits of social media. You heard me, the benefits.

I used social media very strategically, at one point in my business. I'll tell you how, and how I was able to accelerate my knowledge acquisition timeline, and set myself up for success. And of course, how I help others do the same. That is an episode you don't want to miss.

And that thought alone, that you're not going to necessarily be on social media forever, might be just enough to start changing how you're showing up there.

Before we call this a wrap, I'm going to leave you with a couple of recap thoughts. You ready? Number one, you have more opportunity than you realize. Number two, what you're doing is less important than how you're doing it.

Number three, this is a much bigger conversation than what tactic to use. It's about you tapping into your power to create your business your way, and giving yourself permission to do so. You don't have to make any drastic changes all at once, but open yourself to the possibilities. Your path might be different than others.

And number four, businesses have been operating forever, through basic business principles grounded in human psychology. Social media, that's just a tiny blip in that timeline. So, don't let your vision become myopic. Take the larger view; you're running a business, not a social media business. Your business doesn't depend on any one vehicle or delivery method, because it has a very smart woman as its CEO.

Okay, my friends, that's it for today. Remember, deep down, you know who you are. And each day, you're stepping further into what you're here to create.

Hey, if you're a coach who wants true clarity about your secret sauce, your people, your best way of doing business, and how you talk about your offer, then I invite you to join us in the Clarity Accelerator. I'll teach you to connect all the dots. The dots that have always been there for you, so that you can show up like you were born for exactly this.

Come join us and supercharge every other tool or tactic you'll ever learn, from Facebook ads to manifestation. Just go to TheUncommonWay.com /schedule and set up a time to talk. I can't wait to be your coach.

Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity First Strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit TheUncommonWay.com See you next time.

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Ep #22: The Model: How Your Thoughts Affect Your Life

Episode Summary

Jenna shares an impactful tool called The Model and shows you how to use it to make the changes you want in your life.

Get clear on what you offer to whom and how to talk about it … plus actually believe it. Join us in our Clarity Accelerator 60-day bootcamp by scheduling a call here.

Enjoy the show? Leave a review to help other likeminded entrepreneurs gain clarity in their businesses.

If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.

Show Notes

What would you say if I told you there’s a tool that can help you achieve exactly what you want in life, give insight about why you haven’t achieved it yet, explain why you feel and do the things you do, and give you clarity on your current thoughts and motivations? Well, this tool exists, and it has changed my life. So this week, I’m sharing it with you.

I’m introducing you to an incredible tool called The Model. This tool helps you really understand the relationship between your thoughts, feelings, and actions, and as a result, make the necessary changes to start creating the results you want in your life. And the best part? It is so simple that you can do it on the back of a napkin.

Join me this week and hear more about what The Model is, how it works, and why it is so beneficial. I’m walking you through some examples of how I’ve used The Model in my own life, some issues you might run into when using it, and how you can start using it right now.

What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

• How a belief is just a thought you’ve thought over and over.

• Why your circumstances do not cause you to feel overwhelm, and what really causes this.

• How The Model enables you to see where you are contributing to your results.

• Why you are not stuck where you are and can create whatever you want.

• How we take action based on how we feel right now at this moment.

• Some common pitfalls of The Model.

• How your mindset can help you tap into the clarity within.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

• If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.

• Click here to sign up for my newsletter and find out how the Connect The Dots Method has helped clients in all stages of their business.

• Follow me on Instagram for behind-the-scenes content and daily value bombs!

• The Life Coach School

• Ep #14: The #1 Skill for Entrepreneurship

Full Episode Transcript:

There's a tool that can help you achieve exactly what you want in life, give you insight about why you haven't achieved it, yet, show you why you're feeling the way you do, why you do the things you do. And, can give you the kind of clarity on your thoughts and motivations that you used to have to sit in a therapist’s chair for years to finally see. It has literally changed my life. And, I can't wait to tell you all about it.

You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life, by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top ranked business coach and reformed overanalyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.

Welcome back to The Uncommon Way. I am really excited, right now. I'm headed to California in a couple of days to visit my dad and stepmom. And you know, have some time by myself on that nice long plane trip. That is something I think any mom out there can relate to.

My dad loves to cook, and they're big wine people; they're part owners in a vineyard. My stepmom grew up on a vineyard in the Carneros region of Sonoma. If any of you have been there, if you're familiar with that area. And then, they sell their grapes to local producers. So, who knows, you might have even had some wine produced on their farm.

It's just going to be a week of good food, good wine, and daddy wisdom, which every girl needs. It's gonna be a lot of fun. Oh, and they have a new kitty; a new kitty, plus a real Christmas tree. I don't do real Christmas trees, so I'm so thankful that they're willing to do it for me. So, I can enjoy that smell without dealing with all the pine needles.

I don't know if you… Okay, random thought. Have you ever seen, there's a Saturday Night Live video that they made, and it was called “Back Home Ballers”. It was about how when these women go back home, they're just treated like royalty. And they basically, you know, can call the shots. So, I don't know, it was really funny. Because that's how I feel whenever I go home, that I am just living it up. That is absolutely me. So, I'm sure I'll have some stories to tell when I get back. And, I'll definitely be toasting all of you.

Okay, let's get down to some mindset work, shall we? And specifically, thought work. So, thought work is where we're really centering our thoughts and our cognition as the means to really understand and improve our mindset, and thereby, our results in every aspect of our lives. The specific tool we'll be talking about for this, is “The Model”.

I wanted to create an episode on this topic, because I refer to it in other episodes, and I plan to keep doing so, because it really has had such an impact on my life. I am a Certified Coach by the Life Coach School, so we do coach on “The Model.” And although I use it along with other coaching modalities and tools in the Clarity Accelerator, it's a big part of what we do in there. And, I'm just such a fan.

Now, what I'm about to teach you within this Model isn't anything new. But it is presented now very simply, in a way that makes it more accessible and workable than was previously possible. It's something that absolutely anyone can use; something that you can start using today.

Let me talk about some of the things that underlie it, because you'll see exactly what I mean about how it is nothing you didn't already know. So, we all know that there's a part of our brain that can be the ‘watcher’. That can really sit back and observe how we're thinking, and how we're feeling.

Neuroscience shows us that what we think about really determines a lot of what we're feeling. We can see different chemical strains going through our blood when we're activated in a certain way. Psychology shows us that what we're feeling really drives our actions and our behavior. It really comes down to that.

And of course, grandpa has already told us that the more action we take, the more likely we are to get our results; the kind of actions we take are what we’ll get in return. “Well, that's what you get,” grandpa would say. We also know that the brain creates meanings and thoughts based on events. We know that that produces feelings or sensations based on how we are making meaning, how we think.

If my son is defiant, and I think, “He knows better than this,” I have a totally different experience in my body and a different way of perceiving the world, than when I'm thinking, “Fascinating. He is right on track with building his own identity.” We know that our actions are based on how we feel, right now. In this moment, not in the future. Not how we should feel or how most people feel, but how we really feel.

And those feelings are driven by all sorts of underlying beliefs. And yes, our actions, and our way of being and showing up, produces results. We could take the exact same action, but if we're showing up to do that action in a certain way, we're not going to get the same results as we would if we were doing it in a different way.

So, there's lots of moving pieces when you think about all that, right? But life coach, Brooke Castillo, from The Life Coach School, came up with a really simple way of organizing them. And, she calls it “The Model”. It's so simple that you can do it on the back of a napkin. It gives us a beautiful snapshot of what's going on in our brains, and also, where you have to be mentally to create the results you want.

Okay, here's what you do. You ready? Write down these letters vertically on a sheet of paper, C-T-F-A-R. Now, the C stands for “Circumstance”. It is something that's totally objective, that everyone could agree on. Like, what are the actual facts. So not, “She was being snarky,” but, she said the words, “Is that all?” In that C line; right in that line, where the C is, we would write down: She said the words, “Is that all?” We get very specific.

Now, the T, stands for your “Thought”, right? What is your thought about that C? So here, you would enter: She's being snarky.

F is for “Feeling”. And here, you want to reach for just one word. So, we would typically do things like, the way we speak, is we'd say things like, “I feel like I have to justify everything.” But that's not really a feeling, that's actually a thought. You want to look for what is the feeling that you're feeling, in your body. You know, maybe it's defensive.

The A stands for “Action”. What action do you take when you're feeling that way, thinking that thought? What do you do? What don't you do? How do you show up? Really allow yourself to keep going, and get really detailed here.

And then, the R, stands for “Result”. What result does that create or will that create? Something really amazing, is that we almost always see that the result reflects our thought, in some way. It's almost as if our thoughts really do create our results.

Try it out for yourself, when you try out your own models, now. And I'll show you how, in just a sec. But let me also give you some examples, so you can see for yourself.

Okay, here's one that happened to me pretty early on when I was first doing this work. So, my C, my circumstance, was that I booked out with clients. Now, my thought was, “I'm so overwhelmed.” And then, the feeling was nervous. And the truth of how I experienced this in the moment, was, I call it a “coffee feeling”. So, I felt that jitteriness.

I think I've mentioned in a previous, maybe an email to my list or to you guys, that I am very sensitive to caffeine. So, I have to drink decaf all the time. And even if I have too much decaf, I'll start getting this feeling, this coffee feeling. So, that's what I was feeling. There was a combination of maybe, panic and nervousness.

And then, my action, based on that feeling, when I was thinking that thought, “I'm so overwhelmed,” is to work longer hours, sleep less. Right? Working more, yes, but in an unfocused way. I wasn't accessing my creativity or giving myself a chance to access creativity, or rest, in order to access the creativity.

So, I was just kind of trudging along, and I created a resentful attitude. I'd get resentful of my husband, who wasn't working as much as me. I'd get resentful of clients, even when they asked for support or help. I’d get resentful that people would even respond to my posts on social media. Or thinking, “I don't even have time.”

It’s not a good place to be in for a coach who's here to change lives. Right? I would spend my time, even when I wasn't at work, thinking about work. I'd spend a lot of time thinking, specifically, about the difficulty of this and how miserable I was feeling.

I'd worked myself into a panic about delivering for all of these clients, right? How are they going to perceive me? What are they going to think of me? Am I dropping any balls? And then, I would drop the ball on things. And then, I'd have to go back and spend twice as long fixing it.

So, can you see the result of all of this? I actually created a lot more work for myself, and a lot more energy expenditure for myself; I overwhelmed myself. My thought was, “I'm so overwhelmed,” and the result, was I overwhelmed myself.

We think that the circumstance of being booked out creates the overwhelm. It doesn't. It's the thought of you telling yourself you're overwhelmed, that creates the overwhelm. Some of you who are unfamiliar with this might find yourself thinking right now, “No, I am overwhelmed. I have so much to do.”

But it's kind of like when you're cold, and then in your head, you're telling yourself, “It's so cold. I'm dying, it's so cold,” and then you feel even colder. It's not that the temperature reads differently when you think about it differently, the temperature is what it is. Well, although maybe, it does, right? But that's a topic for another episode.

But it's that you make the situation so much worse, and your brain is paying so much more attention to it, and it's exacerbating the problem. I'm just now thinking about when I lived in Germany and we would go to Christmas markets. So, it's in the dead of winter in Germany, and at night it would be so cold. And yet, I would be so caught up in the wonder of the beautiful little things that were for sale, all the different lights, things that they were showcasing, I never felt the cold in that way.

So, back to overwhelm. We know it's not the circumstance of the things that cause the result. Because another person could think of that situation totally differently. They could handle it totally differently. They could get a different result, starting from that same circumstance. So, it's not the circumstance, it's not the C; it's the meaning created by the subject. And what that, then produces.

In my situation, another person might have thought, “You know, I'm so glad my clients are so resourceful. This is so easy. Right? All I have to do is show up and coach. And, this is easy.” Which would produce a totally different feeling in the body. It would produce totally different actions, and a completely different result.

So, let's do some more. This is fun, right? This is how like, we geek out on these things. I have a client who has been bartering services, and the other person sent her an invoice and started charging, but was still asking her for the advice she used to give. So, in this case, the C, was a text. That's all it was. Her thought was, “I'm being taken advantage of.” And that F, that feeling, was frustration.

Now, the actions were to ruminate. To spend time thinking of catty things she could do back, right? She didn't spend as much time focusing on growing her new business. She looked for evidence from the past, that it was true that this person wanted to take advantage of her. She nibbles on food, she said she wouldn't eat. Because she's feeling so frustrated about the situation.

Maybe, she opens up bottle of wine, even though she knows she won't sleep as well. And, she doesn't talk about it directly and clear up the issue. So, what's the result of the thought, “I'm being taken advantage of,” y'all? I'll give you a sec. It's that she doesn't take care of her needs, of herself. She's the one taking advantage of herself, or diminishing herself in some way.

For all we know, that person assumed she'd send an invoice too, or at least whenever she determined that the service was invoiceable, right? That other person isn't an expert in that field, so they don't know. And even if they do know, like, let's say the person is literally thinking, “Ha-ha, I'm going to take advantage of her.” It's like Martin Luther King said, “A man can't ride on your back unless it's bent.”

And that is something that The Model does really quickly. It pulls you straight out of victimhood. It always let you see where your contribution is to your results. And some people, don't want to see that.

But you can see why I jive with it. Right? It is such a great clarity tool. Which is great news, because it means you have so much power to create change. You're not a victim. You're not stuck. You can create whatever the hell you want.

And when you start seeing the world, in terms of Model, it clarifies things for you. It's so easy for me to see the cascade that happens with the thoughts about a lack of clarity. Or, of kind of moving forward, “I'll just put this out anyway,” and they don't really have that foundational piece. And so, they end up speaking to no one. They end up trying different things.

All of these different actions are just cascading from that, what we call a “thought error”. It's a thought that is not producing the results that you asked, truly want to create. And yet, we go on thinking it because it's a practiced thought. And, it's how we've been thinking in the past.

We haven't had the clarity yet, to say, “Hmm, this is definitely not serving me. It's something that we need to change. I'm no longer going to continue trying to put out webinars or try different social media platforms. I'm going to recognize that what I need to do, is get very clear on how my customers speak and what resonates with my clients. So, that I can put it out anywhere.”

So, here's your homework, okay? Here's how to start using it today: I want you to block off some time for yourself, only has to be 10 minutes. Pull out a blank sheet of paper, just write down the thoughts in your head, and then pull just one of those thoughts and create a model for it. And then, don't do anything differently. Sit in that awareness. Sit in that feeling of, “Huh. I thought I was feeling this way because of X. But actually, it's my thought.”

Here are some of the problems you might run into. One, is fighting with it, fighting with the model, right? Saying, “I'm not creating any of this,” that is going to rob you of any opportunity to create change. You're welcome to think that, but is it really in your best interest? What is even the 1% that you could change, that would give you the best chances of creating that different result? Where do you want to take responsibility?

Number two, I see this a lot; it's not getting specific enough. So, what was the exact C? Don't just put down “my business”, right? Think back to an exact moment, so you can really get clear on those autopilot thoughts. Those pesky autopilot thoughts that are kind of slipping in there without you even realizing.

And, what's the real thought, right? Keep asking yourself, “And, so what?” And, “What did I make that mean?” Until you start to get to something that really feels charged. And then, flush out those actions. Keep going with them until the result really reveals itself.

Number three is not being honest. So, sometimes you're using a thought that you think should make you feel a certain way, maybe it sounds good. But take a pause and ask, “How do I really feel when I think that?” I'll give you an example, “I'm going to hit six figures.” Sounds like a thought that if you just keep thinking enough, it'll make it happen.

But if it is producing a feeling of dread in you, if it's producing a feeling of disbelief, that is what's going to drive your actions. So, get real. How are you really feeling?

Number four, is that you're getting into other people's models, or you're putting people in your own model. This is only a tool for us to figure out our own brains. You don't want to be psychoanalyzing everyone else, especially without their permission.

And you never want to have a thought where you're projecting what that person is thinking about you, or what that person is doing. They get to be in the C line, and that's it. That's something for you to think of, as well. You are, at most, somebody else's C line.

Another mistake people make early on, is they really jump to use The Model against others, right? They show them how they're thinking about a situation incorrectly, when they haven't asked for your coaching. You might find yourself saying, “Well, I might have said that, but you can choose to think about it however you want.” That's not helpful, in that moment when the person is feeling charged, and they don't even know what you're talking about with The Model.

Number six, is always trying to fix your thoughts and turn them into happy thoughts, with the end goal of being happy. Right? First of all, you are a human and you have a human brain, so you will always have negative thoughts. Probably 50% of the time, you'll experience negative emotions.

And for sure, you will recreate negative experiences if you've never stopped to get in touch with the truth of where you are, at this moment. To really feel your feelings. I highly suggest that you go back and listen to Episode 14. It's called, “The Number One Skill for Entrepreneurship”. You just go to TheUncommonWay.com/14. It's all about learning to be with your feelings.

So, you've got to get comfortable feeling your feelings and sitting in the truth of where you are, and your agency in where you are, before you move on to changing anything. Because that’s how you stop being afraid to feel feelings, so you can take bigger risks and ultimately create safety from within, rather than seeking it through avoidance of risk.

It's safe to be in your body with these emotions. It's okay for you to be having a human experience. You got you. You’re gonna be fine. But then, yes, you can start to step yourself into new ways of thinking and new beliefs. Once you have sat with and acknowledged that space that you're in.

A belief, it's just a thought that you've thought over and over. So, as long as you actually find a new thought that produces the kind of feeling that you want to feel, you can absolutely start practicing that thought, and watching different results unfold when you do.

And here's what I haven't really told you yet, and I didn't want to until I created enough reason for you to want to actually sit with that feeling and sit with where you are. But the truth is, you don't have to work just top-down on The Model. You can choose any line as your entry point. You can choose the F line, A line, the T line, right?

Like, what I suggested for you for homework, find a thought and then put that in the T line, and work your model from there. But you can also enter from the R line, from the result line; what is the result that you want to create? What are the kinds of actions that would lead to that result? How do you have to be feeling to take those actions?

Really, what do you have to be thinking, that actually generates that feeling in your body? And if you need help learning how to create thoughts and beliefs that you don't actually believe in the moment, but you want to believe so that you start showing up differently, showing up bigger, hitting bigger revenue goals, even creating clarity. Yeah, your mindset can help you tap into the clarity within.

If you need help with that, I can help. I am an expert in creating new beliefs that drive transformation and new results. So, we need to talk. In fact, right on the podcast now, we've put a link where you can, right there in the description, click that link, and it will take you to my scheduling page.

Okay, let's recap. The Model is an amazing tool that condenses all of those moving pieces that we already knew about. And it just puts it in this very simple, actionable format that lets us work with all of them. So, it's nothing new, but it's crazy workable. You can start using it today, by just grabbing a sheet of paper and blocking off a few minutes. And soon, it will get to the point where you're just thinking it in your head.

There are some common pitfalls; I pulled out about five or six of them here for you. But The Model always works. So, just be on the lookout for user error. Work with it a bit, and you'll get the hang of it. And don't underestimate how much this one thing can absolutely change your life.

Okay, friends, that is it for the day. Remember, deep down, you know who you are. And each day you are stepping further into what you're here to create.

Hey, if you're a coach who wants true clarity about your secret sauce, your people, your best way of doing business and how you talk about your offer, then I invite you to join us in the Clarity Accelerator. I'll teach you to connect all the dots; the dots that have always been there for you. So, that you can show up like you were born for exactly this.

Come join us and supercharge every other tool or tactic you'll ever learn from Facebook ads to manifestation. Just go to TheUncommonWay.com/schedule, and set up a time to talk. I can't wait to be your coach.

Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity First Strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.

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Ep #21: 4 Ways to Use Human Design

Episode Summary

Find out what human design is, how Jenna uses it inside The Clarity Accelerator, and four ways you can use it in your own life.

Get clear on what you offer to whom and how to talk about it … plus actually believe it. Join us in our Clarity Accelerator 60-day bootcamp by scheduling a call here.

Enjoy the show? Leave a review to help other likeminded entrepreneurs gain clarity in their businesses.

If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.

Show Notes

Do you ever wish you just had confirmation that you are actually doing what you’re meant to be doing in your life? Do you want to make decisions that aren’t just reflections of holding yourself back or being influenced by others? Well, what if your life had a blueprint that could guide you?

As you know, clarity is within, and when we can surface it, we can turn it into a smart business that we want to stick with. Through alignment, we will call in clients that we actually want to work with, and one of the tools that many of my clients choose to facilitate this is Human Design.

In this episode, I’m diving deeper into Human Design and sharing what it is, how I learned about it, why I like it, and how we use it in the Clarity Accelerator. I’m sharing four ways to use Human Design in your own life and how there is something so special about a woman who knows herself and her power. If you are deeply interested in moving into your truth and taking confident, bold action from that place, you don’t want to miss this episode.

What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

• How to deepen your self-trust and the importance of doing so.

• Where I introduce this tool inside The Clarity Accelerator and why I do so at this point.

• How the truth is always within, and how Human Design can be confirmation of this.

• What my clients really want from The Clarity Accelerator.

• How to use Human Design to support you in getting to where you want to go.

• Why it is hard to create an uncommon life if you don’t know who you are or what you want.

• How to start showing up with confidence and pride in your whole self.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

• If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.

• Click here to sign up for my newsletter and find out how the Connect The Dots Method has helped clients in all stages of their business.

• Follow me on Instagram for behind-the-scenes content and daily value bombs!

• Ep #19: Achieve Your Goals: Choosing Uncommon Actions

Full Episode Transcript:

Do you ever wish you just had confirmation that you're actually doing what you're meant to be doing? What you're most capable of doing? That your decisions aren't just reflections of holding yourself back or being influenced by others, they're yours?

Well, what if your life had a blueprint that could guide you in this? If you're someone who's deeply interested in moving into your truth, and then taking a confident, bold action from that place, then this episode has something you will want to explore.

You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life, by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top ranked business coach and reformed overanalyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.

Hey, welcome back to The Uncommon Way. I hope you're doing well. It is a very active and activated time here at The Uncommon Way. Things always pick up for me at the end of the year. I've hit my yearly revenue goal. Now, it's November, and I'm beyond excited about the women that I've called into my orbit.

I'm mentioning this because I see some kind of fatalist talk about, “Oh, it's the end of the year, things quiet down. I guess my business is done for this year.” And I just wanted to let you know, that that is not my experience, at all. Because it's so helpful for me when someone flips things on their head. Something that I completely take for granted, and they're like, “Huh, no, that's not the way it works for me.” Really helps me shake things up in my brain.

Here's a recent example, I had heard, from some guru somewhere, if you want to be a guest on a podcast, you need to pitch in the latter half of the year, because that is when they're deciding their schedule for the following year. And if you wait, then you'll pretty much be out of luck. So, I just took this as a given.

Recently, we started to pitch to podcasts. And right away, in the first few weeks, several of them saying like, “No, no, let's do it now.” I think I have three in the next few weeks. So, that's just the kind of thing that is worth spreading around, right? For all of us to be like, no. Turns out, that's not a thing.

And oh, back to the clients thing. One of my clients is just finalizing her final contracts for 2023; she's completely booked out for 2023. So, if you're choosing to absorb evidence from the outside, just make sure it serves you. I think this is fun for me, you and everyone to just hear and be inspired by.

But rather than talking about the external evidence, today, we're gonna be talking about tapping into your internal truths. As you know, if you've popped in for any prior episodes, I believe that clarity is within. That these truths are within. And when we can just surface it, we can turn it into a smart business.

One that we’ll actually want to stick with, and we’ll be determined to make work, and we’ll feel qualified to talk about and will enjoy talking about. Through that alignment, we'll call in clients we actually want to work with.

So, you probably know that this is what we do inside the Clarity Accelerator. One of the tools that many of my clients choose to facilitate this, is Human Design. So today, I want to let you in on how I learned about Human Design, what it is, what I like about it, and then how we use it specifically, in case that inspires you in your own Human Design journey.

But first, I want to give a shout out to a listener, Laura S left a review and said, “Clarity = Priceless Jenna’s podcast offers insight and —yup—clear strategies for finding your own way in business. Always thoughtful, discerning, and valuable, each episode has helped me see things I “thought I knew” in a new way. Highly recommended.” Thank you, Laura, for taking the time to write that. And you know, that's totally close to my heart, when you say that it helps you see things you already knew. That is the name of the game. That's exactly why I started this podcast.

Okay, let's get down to it. When someone first finds me, who has a strong pain point around uncertainty, there's this tendency for her to be like, “She gets me. Finally, someone who thinks this is worth talking about.” And really what they're dying to do is say, “Well, I've had this idea and this idea, and here's what I think about this one. And here are the pros and cons of this one,” and to just really share with someone.

I mean, my people are deep thinkers, right? And, I want to honor that. So, I make sure to leave opportunities within the program, for us to dive into anything we need to dive into. But I also know that the truth will be revealed, and it doesn't come from you working out a pros and cons list in your mind.

I'm always on the lookout for how I can help my clients really tap into their clarity faster, better and easier. The connect-the-dots method has been a very, very powerful tool. But last year, I discovered something else. Basically, I'm always discovering. Because I'm always studying, always learning. It's so funny. Sometimes I'll talk to my past clients, and they'll be like, “Oh, I really loved working with you because of this.” And I'm just like, “Oh, honey, you have no idea. We do that maybe 10% of the time, now.”

But this tool that I discovered, Human Design, fits so perfectly within the process of the Clarity Accelerator, that I had only heard about it for maybe a month before I was including it in there. I couldn't not share it. I was telling my clients at the time, “Hey, I am not an expert in this. Here's what I've learned, though. I think it'll be really fun for you, really exciting, really helpful.”

And of course, my clients are so amazing. Everyone was on board. The ones that are still with me, we've all just grown in this journey together. It's the best. I had actually heard about Human Design a few years ago, and I completely ignored it. I've told you before about my journey from skepticism into what many would call “Woo”.

I think when I first heard of it, I thought of it as something like astrology. And I've never been all in on astrology. But fast forward a couple of years, what I was working on, were the energetics of my business. What were the states that I had to be in, to bring in the best results? I was trial and erroring this for months. Which is a method, right? Doing it yourself; but never the most expedient method.

And so, I was on the lookout for a coach that could help me, specifically with the energetic principles. Well, when I finally found one, or I should say, when I finally found the right one for me, she was teaching energetics through the lens of Human Design. So again, I could care less about Human Design. But if that's how she was going to teach it, fine, I was down.

Well, long story short, when we finally pulled up my chart, it was eerily accurate. I continued to work with Danielle for many, many months. And like I said, very early on, I brought it into my own program.

First of all, what is it? It's a system for self-understanding, really. In a way, you can think of it like Myers Briggs® or Enneagram™. But this is an amalgamation of several different wisdom practices and divination tools. At its simplest level, you put your birth information into a calculator, and it spits out a chart.

Apparently, there was a man who got a download, basically, that said, “Here are the ways that you can combine these wisdom principles,” like Kabbalah, the I Ching, the chakra system. But here's how they all fit together. All of this information gets coded into your DNA when you're born. And here's a blueprint of your personal development journey, of your soul's work in this lifetime. What you're here to own and embody, where your ego gets in your way, how you operate, how you best make decisions, where you get influenced by others.

But it's also very specific. We can drill down and find out, what is it that your people really appreciate, and really need to hear from you, in order to feel safe enough to take action with you. Or, we can find out what purpose money really serves for you in this life. There's a system of categorization. So, people are grouped into different types. And that type tells us a lot about how they function, and how they best make decisions.

It's a wildly fun, in that there's so much information. And that's also a problem, because there's so much information. I'll talk about that a little more in a second. But what I really liked about this, besides the fact that it was eerily accurate, and seems to have been for the majority of my clients. Like I said, not all of my clients choose to investigate this. And, that's totally fine.

But of course, I loved that it was bringing together different wisdom principles. I really appreciated the fact that the first person that came up with this, called it an experiment. He said, “Look, this is what was downloaded to me. Take it and run.” So, when you receive this information, and you start practicing it in the world, how does it actually work for you? What do you make it mean? How do you see it play out in your life? And there's no outside authority that can ever know better than you about this.

I know I resonated with it because there is this belief that clarity is within. You don't need to go learn, do, experience anything else, buy any more certifications. This is what you've always been working on in your life. I think it provides tremendous insights and wisdom teachings. Regardless of whether you think that there's any correlation between what this chart says and yourself.

Just reading about the work, since, for instance, a lot of it is based on the I Ching, helps you grow in the understanding of the human condition, and the internal tug-of-war that is playing out within each of us. And personally, I just really vibe with the way of thinking. I love the idea that our highest selves chose this vehicle, this time, this body, this set of characteristics within ourselves, in order to evolve our soul into its next highest evolution.

It's very comforting to think of everything as purposeful. And this could easily be confirmation bias, but it furthers what I've seen. That, as I lean into certain ways of being, certain frequencies, I see different results. I'm manifest different results. I see the universe reflected back to me in a different way.

In the Clarity Accelerator, we use this in a very targeted way. Remember, I said before that there's so much information, and we're only going to focus on the key elements that directly influence your business. I bring this tool in after the connect-the-dots work, for those that want to use it. And that is very intentional, because it's only one part of a system.

Like I've said before, we're surfacing our clarity. But when we see that right in front of us, there's something else that has to happen, we have to believe in it, we have to own it. And that's why this tool works so symbiotically with the connect-the-dots method, because it's like a second piece of confirmation for the work you've already done.

You've gone back through your life, you've seen how these dots connect, and how there have been these underlying themes that keep showing up for you, that your brain is interested in, that you find meaning in. And once you've done that, and you've seen it playing out in your life, when you get a second piece of confirmation, completely distinct, that coincidentally says the same kind of things that you had already found for yourself, it is very powerful.

People tell me things like, “I feel like I finally have permission now, to go out and do this. Now, there's just no denying that this is what I'm here to do.” You can see now, why I do this after the connect-the-dots method. Because I would never want my people believing that because they found something external, because they found Human Design, it set them on this path. No, they always had it, the truth was always within.

And now, here's a nice little compensation. So, with or without Human Design, with or without any guru, any coach, any anything, you're good. Clarity is simple in that way. It's like the light bulb that comes on. It's there for you, and we just access it in different ways.

Human Design is one, but all roads lead to Rome, right? In the connect-the-dots method, I have people go back through their lived experiences. But I could also give you five to ten of the world's great works of literature, and ask you to tell me; what's important here? What themes are calling to you? We'd work through that, and we would arrive right back at Rome.

When you do have the opportunity to see it through different entry points, your self-trust deepens. You trust yourself and your experience, over that of anything external. And then from there, the question is; how do I translate it into an actual niche, an actual offer, actual language? Because to get real, Human Design uses words like “dynamism” and “synarchy”; they're not the most accessible ones for your clients.

After you've done the connect-the-dots work, you know what you mean. And then, you see that reflected in the Human Design. But then, there’s still this whole step of having to bring it down from the abstract to the concrete. Which is one of my areas of genius; of having one foot in both worlds. Because all of this, connect-the-dots and Human Design, is only part one of the clarity system.

As a refresher that’s, know yourself, know your people, speak to how those two connect. So, let me just give you an example with mine. My sun gate, which is my biggest, most influential energy. The thing people will look at me and be like, “Yep, that's what she's doing.” It's about the move out of complexity and into simplicity. Amazing, right? But I was teaching clarity long before I learned this.

And while my clients do care about making their businesses simpler, what they really want and what they really want to pay for, is to finally get clear. To finally, just figure out their niche. Finally, just figure out how to articulate the value of what they're offering. Finally, just figure out their secret sauce. Finally, get clear on the work they're here to do.

So, if I were out there selling simplicity, I would be bringing in a very different client. While Human Design would give me a very broad understanding, it's still pretty abstract. And to make it more concrete, we have to continue getting a little clearer. So, yes, the first way that I use Human Design with my clients, is to reaffirm this work that they've already been doing.

Another way, a little further in the program, is to get granular with some of the things I mentioned earlier. How do you need to show up for your audience? What is it that they need to hear from you? I'll give you an example of a client I had, who was a parenting coach, and was really struggling to bring in higher end clients. So, one-to-one clients.

She had a very inexpensive group membership, that some people would kind of float in and out of. And what I noticed, when I looked at how she was communicating, this was on Facebook®, specifically in Groups. It was very cerebral. But what we saw when we looked at her chart, was that everything was about emotions.

When we used that as a jumping off point for discussion, she was telling me that yes, she was considered a very emotional child. And, that that was frowned upon. And, it seemed to get her into a lot of trouble. And so, she did feel that that was dangerous, and she really prided herself on being very cerebral.

But here's the thing, and I can relate to this so well, she was talking to moms who were in a lot of emotion at that point, and their children were experiencing a lot of emotion. And my client, this parenting coach, found it very easy to understand what was going on with the children, because she had experienced that herself as a child.

So, she really didn't think that was worth talking about. She really just wanted to talk about what was going on in the minds of the moms. But like I said, approaching it from a very cerebral place. I suggested to her, that if she were able to speak about the emotional side, she would be able to connect in a way that her specific people needed to hear.

In Human Design, there's a concept called a “fractal line”, which basically says we are here to interact with certain souls. And in so doing, we help them evolve, and they help us evolve. This is a symbiotic relationship. Well, she absolutely rejected Human Design, in every way, shape, and form, which was fine. But she also rejected her own emotional journey.

She spent a lot of time feeling very emotional and caught up in the motions of starting a business, but had no interest in processing those emotions. She really wanted to logic her way out of them. Until finally, ironically, she became very emotional and crossed some lines, and I needed to release the coaching relationship.

It's unfortunate, and ironic, that I think of her as one of the people that most clearly represents how we could use this information to our advantage. I'll give you another example. And this, ironically, was another person that didn't want anything to do with Human Design. We had worked through the connect-the-dots work. She had such a strong sense of self. She was one of these people that felt like they were so far from clarity, but then very, very, very quickly became clear in our work together.

That just always shows me that it's right on the cusp, it's right there. So, she had such a strong sense of self. It was fun, because we had pulled her chart, she was willing to look at it, but she really wasn't interested in it. There were so many times where she would be talking and saying things, and I would see them reflected in the chart.

It really can become a cheat sheet, where you're thinking, “This is too easy. This is like an unfair advantage, knowing exactly what it is my people want and need to hear.” I'll give you another example with myself, in terms of how I show up for you all. It's as a role model. So, I don't need to be an authority. I just need to say, “Hey, this really worked for me, do you want to try?”

So, when I brought Human Design so quickly into my program, that was a reflection of alignment for me. That was me not getting in my head over whether I knew enough, whether I was qualified, and just fully stepping into my specific role of role model.

All right, another way we tie this back in, is in the section in which we work on energetics, in the Clarity Accelerator. Because remember, I don't believe in doing kind of tier one knowledge, tier two knowledge with my clients. I think everyone's fully capable coming in the door. It doesn't matter how long they've been in business. Here are the fundamental things they need to know; energetics is one of those.

So, how do you create alignment that results in manifesting? That is something that's hard to think your way into. Like I said, I tried a year of trial and error in it, myself. So, I know it is fantastic to see it laid out for you on a page. I mean, how lucky are we? One of the things Danielle would always say to me is, “If you find Human Design in this lifetime, you are meant to accelerate your journey.”

I'm thinking of another client, who also wasn't bringing in clients and came to me. Even as we were doing the connect-the-dots work, there were a couple different themes, a few different themes that were calling to her. There was one that resonated really strongly, but then her ego stepped in, her brain, and said not enough people would want this.

I remember, we were on a Clarity Collective call, and everybody was like, “What? Everybody needs that.” And that was that final bit, well, not the final bit, but that went a long way into helping her all lean in to what her interests and excitement were already telling her, and what her whole life, really. I mean, it's so fun. It's so obvious when you look at her life, that this was what she would end up doing.

But she was telling me just recently, that actually, one of the things that really helped her seal the deal was knowing that she is a pure generator; that's one of the types. And that the way these people do best, is responding to things that are brought into their orbit. “Magnetized to their aura,” is how we would say it in Human Design.

When she framed it this way to herself, she knew that she was moving into alignment by responding to that need, that she could see so clearly and plainly. There wasn't a day that goes by in her life, that her brain isn't picking up on how this issue is playing out in people's lives, and how they really need help. From that alignment, she started to call in and greater and greater results.

In the beginning, she couldn't even find people to talk to, that would raise their hand and say this was a problem they were working on, and would love help solving in their life. And then, just like a week or two in, she was being flooded with information. There were so many people saying, “I definitely need help with that.”

There's a final way that we use this, within the Clarity Accelerator. And by far, this is what my clients say they appreciate the most. That is, seeing how the way they do things is unique and purposeful, it's by design. And that helps them release shame, and create confidence and pride in their superpowers.

I have had so many clients tell me, “I didn't even know why, exactly, I knew I needed to work with you. I didn't think I needed clarity. But now, I know that this was it. I have this whole new understanding of myself.” And it's like a homecoming, right? I always knew it. I always felt so different. And now that's reflected here, I see it. I see that maybe I'm part of the minority, there aren't that many people of my type.

I'm thinking of a client who just never really felt like she had as much energy as a lot of the people around her. She really felt like she needed to push herself. She chastised herself for, you know, sitting down or resting, being lazy. It turns out that her type is the one that desperately needs to conserve energy. And, that was so gratifying for her to hear. And even more gratifying for her to put into practice, even though it's hard when you're not used to doing that.

She had been working in corporate. I remember, she took a month off when she finally left her job. She took a month off, and she came back like a completely different person. She had been struggling to put anything out on social media, it felt so hard. She came back and was feeling inspired, and we set a little challenge for her to just make it easy. She just started rattling off reels and posts, and it started coming so easily to her when she was rested and in this grounded place.

I'm sure you felt that before, too. I have clients that were told there was something wrong for them, for always being so emotional. And it turns out, they're chart shows that any of the emotions, in the people surrounding them, will be amplified in their body. That they'll feel it so much more. And that they'll have a hard time distinguishing what is theirs, and what is actually something else's.

Just learning to ask, “Is this emotion, even mine?” and learning to detox that and get back to their own neutral, that allows them to exist within their life, as an entrepreneur, so much more powerfully.

There was another client of mine, who had a lot of stories about not taking up too much of the light, too much space, calling all the attention to herself, and really holding herself back in a group dynamic, to make sure that she was really fitting in. It turns out, that her type is not meant to fit in. It's very much meant to lead, so that the rest of us know where to place our efforts and our energy.

I think you can see, how for each one of those there were just so many layers of shame that could finally fall away. And, there was so much strength within each of these superpowers. So, I'm just going to go through these once again.

And I'm going to ask you now, if you do end up pulling your chart, which is very easy to do on the internet, how could you apply this to yourself, in these different ways? And out of these, which do you think you need the most healing? Where do you have the most room for personal development growth or spiritual growth?

So, the first way we used it, was really reaffirming what it is that we're here to do. What are you really about? What is your purpose in this lifetime? When you're in your final days, will you feel satisfied with what you devoted your life to? Does it count for you? And are you really leaning into it? Have you decided that, yes, this is what I'm about?

There is nothing, that any Human Design chart or any other kind of chart, ever could have told me to pull me away from my work towards clarity, and helping women create the uncommon lives of their choosing. It's really hard to create the uncommon life of your choosing, if you're not even sure what you're about and what you even want. This is my work in the world. Could you use Human Design, or some other system, to support you in getting to that place, if that is something you want?

Number two, the beauty is in the details. What role do you play for your audience, for your people? How are you communicating to them? And what for? What role does money play in your life? What are the Achilles heels that tend to bring you out of your most aligned state? And how do you know when it's happening? What emotions coming up in you, signal to you that you've definitely gotten out of alignment? What are the frequencies you need to be in to create alignment?

That's number three. How do you best manifest? How do you get into that state of flow, where oh, my God, things are just happening? Like, I couldn't even have written this book, but this person found me this way. Or, that I connected with this other person, and we decided to do a cross promotion. When things just seemed to fall into place, why? What state are you being in, specifically? What is attracting that?

And finally, are you owning that the way you are, serves a purpose? That within each of the things that you may feel is shameful, or we should be able to round off those edges, there are great strengths and superpowers. So much so, that there's probably a reason they're there. What would change in your life, if you were showing up with confidence and pride in your whole self? If you believed you were perfectly designed and created? And that every bit of it served you, even some of the not so favorable things, that just helped you move and helped you see where you needed to go next?

And oh, yeah, by the way, absolutely, help you empathize and connect, and be a guiding light for your people. Because you know what they're struggling with, it's all shown in your chart. And you know that you're a step or two ahead of them. Maybe 10, maybe 100. Because you've been dealing with these things for pretty much your entire life. You are an expert on thinking about them, and working through them. And to someone, that is very, very valuable.

There is something very special about a woman who has this level of knowingness, in these four different areas I've talked about. It's that great shift that you see, again and again, in movies; when a woman finally steps into her power.

All different examples are coming to my mind. I'm thinking all the way back to Melanie Griffith and Working Girl. You remember this? She thinks of herself as an executive assistant. But then finally, at the end of the movie, she starts to realize, she's amazing at this. She's even better than her boss. So yeah, all the way from campy 80’s movies to Queen Elsa in Frozen, right? “Let It Go.” She was no longer holding back.

This is an archetypal image that we see represented again and again, because we feel it in ourselves. But unfortunately, it's uncommon to live it. We're conditioned to be uncertain, right? We're told we're not good at math, we're not good at business, we're always unsafe, we always need protection. And so, we need to heed the advice of others. We shouldn't take up too much space or attention. We should put everyone ahead of ourselves; the list goes on and on.

We're wired to be uncertain, too. Our brain is paying attention to the 99 ways that there's a problem with this idea, rather than the one way that it will absolutely work. But throughout all of this, clarity is an available choice; always. We just need to surface it, and then have the courage and the resilience to pursue it.

Again, this is the mission that I'm dedicated to. Because how can you do your own thing, create your own thing in your own way, when you don't really know what your thing is? It's impossible to live the uncommon life of your choosing, when you're either constantly talking yourself out of your ideas, or constantly bouncing your ideas off of others.

Do you think this is a good idea? Am I doing this right? What am I missing here? When you're bouncing ideas off of anyone and everyone; your partner, your friends, the marketplace. Checking if your ideas seem to be aligned with what other people in your industry are saying. What that's doing, is inadvertently coloring your own thoughts and desires, right?

Little bits of their opinions attach themselves to yours, they water them down. They invalidate them. They make them conform to whatever seems reasonable or preferable to the crowd. I've talked to women who finally connect their dots, and they say, “Okay, this is what it's about.” And then, they tell me, “I had thought of that before, but I was talked out of it.”

And, that is a waste of time. I know that, as coaches, we're not supposed to say anything is wasted time. But being a woman who spent two decades not moving forward on my purpose, and not having the tools that I have now, I consider that wasted time. Too many people live their lives this way; not honoring their gifts, not seeing their gifts, their desires, their inspiration, their genius.

And how different does our world look because of it? What would our world be, if we were filled with something else? Right? If it were filled with people who deeply knew and trusted themselves, and own their genius, and believed they were worthy and capable of creating the exact life they wanted. How much more fulfilled would we be? How much more innovation would there be? How much more dynamic and energized would we be? And therefore, how much kinder would we be able to be to each other?

Those are the kinds of questions that I decided to play with in this lifetime, according to my chart. I guess, it was even before this lifetime. But it is such an honor and a thrill to see the results play out in front of my eyes every day. It is worth all of my energy and attention, to see how to facilitate that transformation faster and better. And so, I was so excited when I found the tool of Human Design. It has so much to offer. And if you've never played with it before, I think you should play with it now.

All right, my friends. Remember that deep down, you know exactly who you are. And each day, you're stepping further into what you're here to create. See you next time.

Hey, if you're a coach who wants true clarity about your secret sauce, your people, your best way of doing business, and how you talk about your offer, then I invite you to join us in the Clarity Accelerator. I'll teach you to connect all the dots; the dots that have always been there for you. So, that you can show up like you were born for exactly this.

Come join us and supercharge every other tool or tactic you'll ever learn, from Facebook ads to manifestation. Just go to TheUncommonWay.com/schedule and set up a time to talk. I can't wait to be your coach.

Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity First Strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.

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Ep #20: Business Sufficiency

Episode Summary

Jenna shares the concept of Business Sufficiency and explains why you already have everything you need to achieve the results you want in your life and business.

Get clear on what you offer to whom and how to talk about it … plus actually believe it. Join us in our Clarity Accelerator 60-day bootcamp by scheduling a call here.

Enjoy the show? Leave a review to help other likeminded entrepreneurs gain clarity in their businesses.

If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.

Show Notes

Did you know that you have the freedom to create whatever you want, and you already have everything you need to do this? If you want to step into a completely non-traditional way of doing business, where you’re not just chasing dollars but doing the work you’re here to do, you have to believe that you already have everything you need. So today, I’m introducing you to an advanced concept to help you with this: Business Sufficiency.

We’ve all heard of scarcity and abundance, but what we don’t spend much time talking about is the land in the middle - sufficiency - the place where you have exactly what you need to create the results you want in your life and business. This concept has made a huge difference in my life, and I’m showing you how the same is possible for you this week.

Join me this week and discover why business sufficiency will move you a huge step closer to the uncommon business you’ve been dreaming about, and help you create satisfaction way beyond money, and prosperity without the hustle. Find out why reprogramming your brain around business sufficiency will be so fruitful for you, and how it can allow you to keep going beyond what your immediate circumstances might dictate.

What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

• How to challenge yourself to work smarter, not harder.

• Some of the thoughts that aren’t available to you when you are in scarcity.

• How to get into the energy of sufficiency and develop the belief that you have what you need.

• The importance of getting clear on your insufficiency and your remedy for it.

• Some things to start to think through to help you with business sufficiency.

• What can happen when you truly believe that you have enough.

• How to cultivate business sufficiency whenever you need to.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

• If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.

• Click here to sign up for my newsletter and find out how the Connect The Dots Method has helped clients in all stages of their business.

• Follow me on Instagram for behind-the-scenes content and daily value bombs!

• Ep #19: Achieve Your Goals: Choosing Uncommon Actions

Full Episode Transcript:

If you want to step into a completely nontraditional way of doing business where you're not just chasing dollars, but actually doing the work you're here to do, creating satisfaction way beyond money, tapping into your secret sauce, but also creating prosperity because you're able to call in amazing clients without hustle then you're going to have to believe that you don't need to hustle. That's right. If you don't believe that, you will keep hustling.

So today, I'm introducing you to an advanced concept that I teach inside the Clarity Accelerator, Business Sufficiency. It will move you a big step closer to that uncommon business that you've been dreaming about.

You're listening to The Uncommon Way business and life coaching podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life by prioritizing your clarity and your own uncommon way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top ranked business coach and reformed over analyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.

Hey, welcome back to The Uncommon Way. Thank you for being here with me to celebrate episode 20. I'm choosing to celebrate that as a big milestone because why not? So at the time of this recording, we're heading into Thanksgiving week, and my son Dylan is off for the first time because he's now in kindergarten, and they take breaks. I've got to say time and resources are feeling a little scarce right now.

I had to laugh because I've already planned the topic for this week. Then here's life just providing the perfect illustration, again. So of course, I've got to catch that old, tired pattern and get back into sufficiency. So I'm using the word sufficiency, but I could also be saying enoughness. When I mean enoughness, it's not how I used to think about it, and how maybe you're thinking about it. As in this is good enough.

I remember when I was working in corporate, and I felt like I definitely didn't want to be there. But I was getting big time into yoga at the same time, and I interpreted this concept of being in the now to mean that I shouldn't want anything more. That I should just be grateful and content with everything I had and maintain the status quo. If I didn't want that I was ungrateful and unspiritual now that I think about it.

So in this situation, I would be asking myself questions like why am I stressing? I should be grateful that Dylan’s healthy and we're together. I mean if he's healthy, what do I have to complain about? I would have said you know what? Instead of focusing on what I don't have, childcare, I should be looking forward to the time I get to spend with him. Maybe I'll just cancel all my calls and then beat myself up for feeling cranky in any way.

But no, that is not what I'm talking about here when I talk about sufficiency. Instead, what I'm suggesting is that we have the freedom to create whatever we want. That, in fact, we have everything we need already to do this. I have what I need to create the result I want. I want to help you with this concept and give you some examples of how it applies to business because it's made a huge difference in my business, in life, and in my clients. It's really allowed us to keep going beyond what immediate circumstances might dictate.

So last week in the podcast on achieving your goals through choosing uncommon actions, I threw out an example of one of those uncommon actions being maybe you want to do the work to believe that your business has everything it needs right in this moment to reach your immediate goal. Now some of you might be like what is that? What is she even talking about? Clearly, my audience is stale. Clearly Facebook ads aren't working like they used to, etc.

I see this type of energy come up in all different stages of business. So, for instance, people do finally have the clarity and they're like okay, ready to go. But wait, I didn't sign a client today. So what am I going to do to reach this goal? Am I going to expand to a different platform? I obviously need to do something more to achieve this. Then you'll see it again oh in just about every other stage of business. I have several multiple six figure and seven figure clients that also default automatically to the doing, the hustle.

Notice, you all know my clients want to bring in clients without feeling hustle-y. But the minute they don't have the exact result they want, so many of them, and of course, I've been there too. Our brain goes into how do I have to hustle to achieve this? Of course, their brain’s not saying the word hustle because they would reject that, but maybe it says, oh, I need to cross promote. Right? Something like that. But it's some form of doing more, which is a practiced thought pattern. Your brain’s used to thinking that way.

So it problem solves by thinking that way. It ends up creating the same issues over and over, but hey, it's kept you alive. So it must be working. That pattern is what we need to undermine. Because really, it's just all made up by our brain. If you want to bring on clients without hustle, you first need to believe that you don't need to hustle. I'll say that again. If you want to bring on clients without hustle, it starts with you believing that you don't need to hustle. Hence the concept of business efficiency.

Now, what is sufficiency? We've all heard of scarcity. We've all heard of abundance, but what we don't spend a lot of time talking about is that land in the middle. That is the place where you have exactly what you need. Just spend a minute, think back over your life, even times that seemed kind of dire where in the end, you had what you needed. You had the roof over your head. You had just enough money come in. You've been able to keep going, or you've been able to make something happen. Once you decided that you really wanted to make it happen, you found a way.

So we've seen that with all sorts of personal experiences. Sometimes on sales calls, I'll talk to people who are just a hell yes. They want in so badly. They say I just don't have the money. The first thing I recommend to them is to really just light a candle, whatever, close their eyes, take some deep breaths, and get into this energy of sufficiency first. Before they try and think of anything, really ground into the belief that they've had what they needed, that they're infinitely resourceful, and that it makes sense that there would be an answer for them. Then let your brain get creative.

You know someone might say I do have this heirloom piece of jewelry, and it's gaudy, and hideous, and I would never wear it. I really think my great grandma would love for me to use it to invest in myself. But I never would have thought to ask, do you have gaudy, hideous heirloom jewelry you might want to sell to us for this purpose? Or they may say you know what? Just the other day there was someone talking about this grant for women entrepreneurs. It didn't really register at the moment, but I guess I could apply for that.

Those thoughts aren't available to you when you are in full scarcity. You need to elevate yourself to at least sufficiency to start finding those answers. The same thing is true for business.

This is exactly what we learned to create and cultivate in the Clarity Accelerator through a process called the sufficiency formula. Because insufficiency or scarcity is the single biggest driver of overwork. It leads to lost sales. It leads to brain drama and sleepless nights. It leads to a very negative spiral of this isn't working. It really undermines your ability to step forward as a powerful CEO and a powerful creator of your future. It takes you away from what you should be focusing on and instead scatters your thoughts and energy, learning all sorts of new skills.

Instead of becoming really, really good at one or two things, you're half-assing 10 of them. It fucks with your messaging. It leads you to argue with your audience, lecture them, maybe become inconsistent, or to bring on unaligned clients. When you're thinking I can't control this, you show up as less in control, less confident. Then your audience doesn't feel confident investing with you. It stalls your growth.

All of this is perfectly understandable, right? We understand that our brain is wired to perceive problems, and that we're conditioned to solve those problems by doing more. But it's a brain tick, a counterproductive brain tick, again, that stalls your growth. If you aren't clear on these patterns within yourself, and you're not clear on where your insufficiencies are and your remedy for them, you keep spinning your wheels.

So here's what you can start to think through. What if my business already has everything I need to reach my next immediate goal? How might that be true? Just play with it. Right? It's just a thought exercise. Maybe you'll start thinking hm I do have 500 followers on Instagram, right? It is possible that just three of those could become clients. Or I do have these people in my orbit that have indicated they want to work with me at some point. I could check in with them.

Keep going through every aspect of your business. Find those little gaps in belief where it feels emotionally charged and you know you have to do some work to clean that up. Right? How do I have enough expertise right now to help my next client? So you're not running off to get more certifications or researching more or holding off on talking at all because you're not qualified enough.

How is my audience of fully resourceful and capable of paying for this? I mean, the lifetime value is unquantifiable. So this is a no brainer. They're resourceful enough to get what they need from your offer with your support. How am I already receiving plenty of guidance from my audience about what they need to hear? What do I know that they need to hear next? How am I already receiving enough guidance from my higher self when I just get still and listen?

I think of business sufficiency in four main categories, and we break this down further, but these are the main ones. Yourself, right? You are enough. Your clients, they are enough. Your business activities, they are enough. Energetics, this is enough. How are those combined more than enough?

Because here's what happens when they are my friends, when you're fully in that knowingness. Not la-la fantasy, but true believability. You and your brain are clear. You and your brain are united about this. Any new skills you're learning are for the future business. I'll say it again. Any new skills you're learning or for your future business. You're learning to deliver amazing webinars, or you're learning the skill of Facebook ads without neediness and pressure, right? Because your current business activities are already enough.

I have a client who says Instagram is my laboratory. Right? She's just there to play. So of course you accelerate your results when you have that attitude. With that knowingness, there's no need to overwork and hustle. You can get very strategic about the actions you are taking. Your messaging is cleaner so you draw in clients that are inspired by the possibilities rather than motivated by scarcity or shame or whatever else.

They're thinking this is what's possible for me. I just have to decide. You become very good at the activities you've chosen, whether that's cold emailing or social media or Facebook ads. Your mind is freed up for ideas that are high income producing for you and wildly valuable for your clients and audience. Your clients start getting better results. Because, of course, you're thinking proactively. You're planning, you're visioning. You get creative ideas for how to connect better with your audience, quality over quantity. Hey, you enjoy life more.

I've been in such a dark place about my business in the past before beginning this work, but that is a choice. It doesn't have to be your reality. It changes your business in about a million gazillion other ways, which is a technical term, by the way. A million gazillion. Basically you vibrate higher, and so does what you see reflected.

Are you feeling this? Do you see why I'm saying that just this piece, just reprogramming your brain around business efficiency would be so fruitful for you. Your future self looks back and says oh, I remember what that period was about, that three months or whatever. That's when I was really learning the skill of how to cultivate business efficiency whenever I need to. I'm so grateful because it has changed everything about my business and life since. I create with so much more power now.

I'm so glad I didn't give into my amygdala when it was shouting at me you're gonna die homeless on the streets. Don't take your foot off the gas. Get out there and hustle. Instead I focused on honing this skill. Maybe it was doing the dangling carrot approach, which I've definitely fallen victim to right? Which is if you just learn this one new tactic or you just do this one thing, you'll never have to work at things like this and feel discomfort again. It is not true, my friends. You will feel discomfort because you have a human brain and an inner visionary, and they're pulling you in opposite directions.

Which is why in the Clarity Accelerator, there are no dangling carrot. We don't focus on shiny objects. We focus on business fundamentals. These fundamentals can be applied however makes sense for you and your audience. What problem are you solving really, and for whom? How do they think about it, and the solution? How can I create effective messaging that's fundamentally the same whether I'm standing in line at Starbucks or running Facebook ads?

When I was running ads, I would get these pop up messages from Facebook telling me your ad is performing better than whatever it was, 75% of other ads. Obviously, it's the same with my website. My website performs better than oh god, what would it be? 99.9% of websites for this search term.

It's not the application. It's the messaging, the deep stuff that a lot of people want to skip because it's triggering to get clear when you feel so uncertain. I know who I am and who I'm not. I know who my people are, and I definitely know who they aren't. I know how to create messaging that lands, as do my clients. These are business fundamentals. Your business suffers without them, whether you're a solo coach or a fortune 500 company because all of those points evolve.

So this is work we can't be complacent about. It's the backbone of everything. I know you know this because you're here listening. If you're nodding your head, then get moving on this now. You just need to decide, right. This is the best time to join us in the Clarity Accelerator. Right now, you'll still get one to one calls with me as part of that program. That will be eliminated soon because my clients are doing so well with the way everything is explained and structured. I keep honing this, and my clients are just running with it.

So you'll get the proven connect the dots process that you can't find anywhere else, and you'll get this efficiency formula that you can't find anywhere else and more. The tools you need to know yourself, know your people, and speak to how those two connect. Plus, this is just an exciting time for this work.

Holidays and the new year are naturally when you reflect and set intentions. When you can get those goals and put those wheels in motion with clarity, it amplifies the results for the year. The universe is like got it. Finally. Well thought out clean instructions. Thank you.

Even if you're like you know what? New Year's is just an arbitrary date, and I don't even do the resolutions thing. This is a natural cycle that our bodies have been evolving in for millennia. This is our return towards the sun and warmth and productivity and fertility. It's the ideal almost magical time to get your brain on board with this. I am so excited for the people starting right now. They're gonna be like what is happening. I know how these things work.

Okay, my friends, you have everything you need right now to get to that next level of what you want. You're swimming in enoughness. Now it's time to get really smart and strategic with it, to challenge yourself to work smarter, not harder. This is the uncommon work. This is the hard work that most people don't do. They drive themselves into the ground instead, or they just put their dreams aside. But you are meant for something different. Luckily, you're fully capable of creating it. Remember, on a certain level, you know who you are. Each day you're stepping further into what you're here to create. I'll talk to you next week.

Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business in life, including the clarity first strategy for growing and scaling your business. Visit theuncommonway.com See you next time.

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Ep #19: Achieve Your Goals: Choosing Uncommon Actions

Episode Summary

Jenna gives you a new way to think about the actions you’re taking in your business.

Get clear on what you offer to whom and how to talk about it … plus actually believe it. Join us in our Clarity Accelerator 60-day bootcamp by scheduling a call here.

Enjoy the show? Leave a review to help other likeminded entrepreneurs gain clarity in their businesses.

If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.

Show Notes

As entrepreneurs, we can do a lot of spinning. We spin in action, we spin wondering why our actions fell flat, and we spin as we scheme about the next actions we need to take. We try our best to do all the things we need to do to be successful, and it feels like we all just do, do, do. But what if there’s a different way? What if there’s a whole category of things you could do that you’re not even thinking about?

When we think about doing something or taking in our business, we think about actions like adding in another webinar or posting more frequently on social media. But I encourage clients to think outside of the box in terms of actions, and this week, I’m giving you a new way to think about actions, and helping you categorize your actions so you can start using them to create the results you want.

In this episode, I’m sharing the difference between traditional, common actions and non-traditional, uncommon actions. I’m diving deeper into the concept of non-traditional actions so you can see how they are amplifying everything you’re doing, and why when you do this, you will never think about actions in the same way again.

What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

• Why relying on common actions is holding you back.

• The reason we are so often not receiving the results we want.

• Why you don’t have to always feel 100% inspired to take action.

• The importance of letting yourself rest and enjoy where you are.

• How common actions are actually the by-product of the real work.

• Some questions to ask yourself to change your actions.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

• If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.

• Click here to sign up for my newsletter and find out how the Connect The Dots Method has helped clients in all stages of their business.

• Follow me on Instagram for behind-the-scenes content and daily value bombs!

• Ep #17: The Power of Decisions with Ale Garnica

• Ep #18: Choosing Uncommon Goals

• Ep #13: Allowing Yourself to Receive

• The Life Coach School

Full Episode Transcript:

You know that thing you're working on accomplishing? The one where you're trying your best to do all the things you need to do, in order to be successful? What if there's a whole category of things you could do that you're not even thinking about? What if those are like, supercharged actions? For every ounce of effort you put in, you get exponential results. You'd be down for trying them out, right? All right, then stick around. I've got some ideas for you.

You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life, by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top ranked business coach and reformed overanalyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.

Hey, welcome back to The Uncommon Way. I am recording this right before my husband and I head out for a long weekend; we decided to do this about 24 hours ago. I love, so much, that with entrepreneurship, I can make it happen. I can reschedule some things, and we can just go.

So, we are actually looking for a retirement place. I know that sounds funny. But my husband is in the military, they retire very early. He'll, of course, continue to do work, but he'll retire from the military. And we, after years of being told where to live, when to move, get to choose. Now, that sounds wonderful.

Except we've lived in so many places, and we've really liked a lot of them. So, how in the world do you narrow it down? Anyway, we have no choice; it's coming up in about a year and a half. So, we decided that we'd start looking around at some different cities, maybe that we hadn't visited in a while, or we've never visited before. And, we want to be on the east so that we can fly to Europe more quickly.

We plan to spend, in the beginning, about half the year there and then potentially build up. So, we want to have easy access. I and my husband are both warm weather people. So, we'd like to be somewhere like, south of DC. And we're going to North Carolina, this weekend. We're going to the Raleigh Durham area, Research Triangle.

By the way, if you have any strong opinions about great cities to move to in that area, please let me know. Because we have a limited amount of weekends that we can rely on my sweet mom to watch my son, while we go gallivanting off. But anyway, it is going to be really fun to just get away and see someplace new.

We met over our love of travel. And anytime we can do it again, we're both down for it. I've got to tell you, apart from that, I'm also feeling a little extra excited recording this episode. Because I got some feedback, about somebody that listened to the interview that I did with my client, Ale. And said that that already helped them clarify a big decision that they needed to make, just listening to it.

Whenever I create content, I've seen this through everything that's happened for me with Google and blogging, but when I create content, I believe in the bottom of my heart that it's meant for somebody; it's going to reach someone. And of course, I don't know who, but I also don't know when. I think things live on forever.

I've had people that are scrolling back through content, on all different platforms or by website, and they found something that they said really resonated with them. And so, as I've been creating these podcast episodes, I have that in my mind, right? Like, this episode, I don't know when it's going to land for someone, I don't know who it's going to be. But there will be that connection.

It’s just really neat when it happens so quickly, right? When I can put something out and right away someone's like, that's exactly what I needed to hear. So, I encourage you to also let me know what you want to hear. Or, if something did land for you, so that I can create more things like that in the podcast reviews.

That is such a perfect way to let me know and really get what you need out of this. Okay, let's move on. As entrepreneurs, we can do a lot of spinning, right? We spin in action, we are spinning wondering why our actions fell flat, or spinning as we scheme about the next actions we need to take. And in this episode, I want to help you categorize your actions into two categories.

We've got our traditional, or common actions. And then, our non-traditional, or uncommon actions. I'll show you why relying on common actions is holding you back. And we'll deep dive into this concept of non-traditional actions, so that you can see how they'll amplify everything else you're doing. So much so, that you'll never think about actions in the same way again.

So, our first line of thinking when there's some gap, right? There's some gap between what we have and what we want to create. We start thinking; okay, what do I need to do? And in order to create different, you need to do differently or be differently; something has to be different.

But let's break it down a little. What is “do” exactly? What do we mean when we say “do”? Usually, especially for entrepreneurship, we think about actions like, okay, I'll add in another webinar, or I'll write a post more frequently on social media. I do encourage my clients to think out of the box ideas when it comes to these kinds of actions, right?

Because who says we have to do what everyone else is doing? So, even with the common traditional actions, there can be uncommon ways of doing them. But there's another type of action that I want to focus on today, that isn't usually considered at all, and I'd argue is far more important.

So, the last episode was a podcast on uncommon goals. And one of the things I asked you to do there, is to get clear on where your growth is for the next period. In this episode, I want to ask; what if your real growth isn't about stretching into higher revenue through, like I said, increasing your visibility with webinars or whatever? What if your real growth lies somewhere else? What if there is plenty of room for you to bring on more clients just doing exactly what you're already doing?

Sometimes I'll talk to someone and they're like, “Well, I need to do this thing. I need to add something in.” And I'll say, “Okay, well, how many people are on your list?” They'll say, “About 300. That isn't working, people aren't buying from my list.”

Okay, so maybe we just need to keep doing what we're doing, and enhance how we're doing it. There are 300 people, you're looking for one client. But in order to lean into that, you really have to believe that there's plenty of room already, right?

Even just through social media, there is plenty of room to call in that one next client. Even through, some of you are blogging, right, even through that, there's room to call in your one next client. And really, if I just work on that belief, I will show up in a different way. And that will create my result.

We'll go into these a little more further on. But, you know, another idea is, what if it's just increasing your capacity to receive? And finally dealing with that nagging feeling that this just feels too easy, or too good. Right? What if you finally tackled that over the next six months, or whatever the period is?

What if it's practicing, not thinking this one thought? That one thought that always send you spiraling into a pattern of unhelpful behaviors? Which, and then, shows up in your output and results. Like, what if this is where I'm learning not to default to that thought? How would that change things for you? Sometimes when I broach the subject with new clients who aren't used to the work, they say, “So, what? I just sit around and my business results are just magically supposed to happen?”

No, friends, this is work. This is work. This is far harder, in many ways, than busy actions that we take. Than keeping a buffer between our conscious brain and what you're really feeling, because you're so busy with stuff. And thankfully, you don't have time to feel. And since it's harder, few people really do it.

If this were more common, the world would be a very different place; we'd be much calmer, kinder, less self-sabotaging; if we were working on ourselves. So, just stretch your brain with me here. This doesn't have to be what you adopt. But just for the next, I don't know, half hour that we're on this podcast, just start playing with: What if those are actually the best, most productive things I could do for my business?

I can't tell you how many of my clients have finally given themselves some time off. They've taken a vacation or something; maybe you felt this too. And then they just come back supercharged. And that proves that their growth, their true growth, is in giving themselves a chance to rest. Because what would they be capable of if they were always in that state? What kind of thought leadership, what kind of contribution would they be bringing to the world?

And when you're at that level, you can't help but attract interest. You know, what if you take today off, and then within a day or two, you whip out this really inspired newsletter? You just sit down and just comes right out. Versus spending a week writing and rewriting, forcing yourself to push through, but your brain’s feeling like molasses and you just can't seem to formulate your ideas.

I mean, I don't have any personal experience with that myself. Of course, a friend told me about it; just kidding. This was the story of my life for the first years of my business. But what if the “do” of the ‘what do I do to call in my next client’, what if that action you need to take is, work on myself?

There are some people that spend too much time working on themselves, and they aren't taking any action. That is not who I'm speaking to, right now. I'm speaking to y’all that are always trying to do-do-do, even if it's coming from desperation, and sometimes even if it's not really stretching you.

So, let's open up to the idea of uncommon actions or non-traditional actions, They’re actions, just like any traditional action you might be used to. I said, in the “Goals” podcast, the only purpose of a goal is what's that goal going to do for you? Right? When you look back on this period in your life, how can you say, “That's the time when I was learning to X”?

Right now, pick a random year of your life. Let's just take the pandemic, because we can think of that quickly. In hindsight, what were you really learning or accomplishing in your life or doing then? Like, “That's the time when I was learning to be more truthful in relationships,” Or, “That's the time when I was learning that there was a completely different way of working than I'd ever imagined. That everyone would be fine if we telecommuted.”

“That's the time when I was learning to really be with my fear of the future.” Or, “That's the time when we were changing cities. We decided to make this change. And then, I was really getting to know this new city during that time.” You can do the same thing with this period, now in your life. Like, what is it really about?

Think that through, for a second, for yourself, about the pandemic. I'll give you a second. Okay, now continue that connection with your highest knowing, when you ask: What is this next period in my life really about? What am I needing to learn on behalf of my future self? That's far more valuable and important than the actual result I'm shooting for, right?

How will I be able to look back and say, “That's when I was learning to do X, when I was really improving my copywriting. And I was doing it then, in order to bring in X number of clients. But I had no idea then, that that skill was really what was going to allow me to bring in millions of dollars of revenue. That's what it was really about in that moment.”

Okay, I'm just gonna run, quickly, through some ideas. This list is not complete, obviously. Stretch your brain to see what you really need. And as I'm reading these, just feel in your body for a little hit of acknowledgment, of knowledge, of recognition; like, yeah, I do need to work on that.

One is, I've mentioned before, increasing the capacity to receive; I have a whole podcast on that. So often, the reason that we're not receiving our results, is because of all the stories we have around what it will mean if we do actually accomplish that thing.

And/or it's just so unfamiliar to us, it feels so scary. Maybe this is a time when you really work on your decision making. You really learn to just make a decision, and then feel it in your body. Go with your intuition; trust it, move forward, learn from it, evaluate. You're just practicing making a lot of decisions and firing up that muscle; that self-knowing muscle.

Maybe, this is a time when you're really clearing old baggage and conditioning. Maybe, you're building a new belief, like, “I am the right coach for my clients,” or, “I don't need to do anything more.” Maybe, you're working on the belief that more time doesn't create my results; I do. I do, through my brain and thinking up ideas, I create results.

Maybe, you're growing your self-concept, right? You're starting to see yourself as that business owner, or as that coach, rather than whatever it is you used to do. Maybe, you're practicing noticing what it is that you really want, and then giving it to yourself first. Right? What is that thing? Is it you want more downtime? You want more recognition? How can you give it to yourself first?

Maybe, you're breaking bad habits. As many of you know, I've been breaking the bad habit of overworking. Maybe, you're breaking a bad habit of an unhelpful thought ,or an unhelpful way of thinking, right? You're catching that and you're redirecting it. Even if you can do this with just one unhelpful thought, it could be the most important thing that you'll do for your business, right now.

For me, one thought that seemed completely innocent, was, “I'll just do this first. I'll just do this first,” and then, I would get involved with something; time would “run away” with me; I would let time run. I would then, not have accomplished what I wanted to accomplish.

So, just working on catching that one thought, if I had spent three months doing that and that was my primary focus, that would have paid off so much, in the long run for my business. In fact, it did, because I got it. That's what I ended up doing.

Recently, with a client, we caught a really unhelpful thought of hers. She didn't even realize that she was disqualifying her audience. Her thought was, “I don't think they want to work with me.” So, she was going in to kind of give a presentation, but she'd already decided these weren't actually the people that were going to buy.

So, what did she create? She created these people; they didn't buy, no one bought. And we realized, that if we could just work on that thought, like really believing that, actually, someone here either wants to buy or know someone that wants to buy; like, this is working. And, she wasn't disqualifying anyone, that that could have a massive impact.

Or, sometimes the underlying thought is, “I don't think they know they need this. I have to show them how much they need this.” Well, why would you sell to those people who don't want it? Who don't want you? This is the work we do in phase two of the Clarity Accelerator; “Know Your People”.

You have to get very, very clear on who you're actually speaking to. When I say your people, it's not just the broad or even the specific niche, right? There's so much variation and nuance within that group. Within the niche of, I don't know, physicians that want to be more present for their kids.

There's a huge variation of what, we in the marketing world call “psychographics”. What is that psychological makeup that brings you the best clients? Speak to them. Maybe, your work is about leaning into the work that you are teaching, specifically. So, if you are, I don't know, teaching time management, how can you, yourself, better manage your time?

Maybe, it's tuning in and really listening to yourself, your higher self, and seeking internal guidance, right? You tend to just kind of go fast, go furious, and you don't really do those check-ins. What if you started doing those check-ins throughout the day? How would that change things for you?

Maybe, it's practicing rest and enjoyment. I had a client, she was reflecting on this, because she knew this was her work. Right? And she was saying, It's hard to believe that that is the challenge.” I think of challenge, the word “challenge”, is something that doesn't let you enjoy life. But now actually, my challenge is to enjoy life.

And, it's hard. We say, “I haven't reached X goal, how can I enjoy life yet? I’ll enjoy life when X.” But really learning to do the work, of letting yourself rest and enjoy where you are, that’s work. And these are all things, all the things that I just mentioned, tend to be very supported energetically.

First, it behooves humankind that you work on these kinds of things. That you then radiate that out, for the benefit of everyone. And also, you're a higher vibe, and so you attract different things into your life. You, in your highest vibe state, it makes sense that the universe would want to connect people with you. Would know that you'd be able to help other people take that step closer.

Because when you start to do these things, you really show up differently. We've talked about this in the past. I mean, just think about it. A person who gets really inspired and shares on Instagram®, that's a completely different energy than someone who's thinking, “I need to put out this many content pieces, in order to trip the algorithm, and get this many clients.”

What's really going on there, is that that form of communication is just what you do; it's just a reflection of who you are. You felt, you are a person who's inspired. From that inspired feeling you decide to share with people. And, they receive it from that place.

It's so different than, “I need to put out three pieces of content a week, even though I don't really feel like doing it.” Now, I’m not saying that we always have to feel 100% inspired in order to take action. What I'm saying, is that your traditional actions can be a reflection of who you are.

Another thing, is that your nervous system’s relaxed, right? Your mental state is in a different place, so you have access to all sorts of thoughts and creative solutions, that you normally wouldn't. And you move into this expectation of, how could it not work? It has to. So many people need this. This is so exciting. This is so good, I'm almost tingling.

Really, your identity is shifting in that process. Who are you? You are a person that leads with your ideas. So, the big punch line of all of this, we all, is what we think of as those common actions, the webinars, whatever, they're actually just the byproduct of the real work; they're the result.

For those of you that are LCS coaches, or you're familiar with the model, try taking the webinar, or whatever action, out of your A-line, out of your action line, and put it into the result line. The webinar is the result of what? What do you have to be thinking and feeling, for the natural result of that to be, “Oh, my gosh, this is so good. I must call these people together. Let's just do a live training,” as an example.

I'm not a big webinar person; there are infinite ways to grow a business that don't involve webinars. I'm just using that as an example because it's something we tend to think about. The results that come from the thoughts you put into the webinar, are reflection of who you are, and the work you've done on yourself.

It's just occurring to me, about this podcast for instance, I put off having a podcast for years. And really, this podcast was just a reflection of the work I'd done on myself. Of me believing that I did have the time in my schedule for one. That I would just hire this out and get support; that I could be supported like this. And also, that my ideas were ready to go.

I think I used to have this thought that I might be changing my ideas in the future about what I wanted to talk about. And therefore, I didn't want to have anything out there, that I then look back on and think, “Oh, what was I thinking? How was I leading people down the wrong path?” I don't know, this was, now that I'm remembering, this was a big fear of mine. Right?

And so, the work I've done on myself, of believing that everything I have right now is meant for someone right now. And that it's okay for me, in the future to say, “Hey, you know what? I used to think of it this way. Now, I think of it this way.” That that all was perfectly okay; perfectly okay.

This podcast, then, was a reflection of that. This podcast has never been about, “I need to create more clients. I'm going to do it this way.” It was very much about, “I've got all of this great stuff. We're doing all this great stuff over here. And, I need to let other people know. I need to let them know about this other way of doing business.”

So, before we sign off, here is what I suggest you ask yourself: How would I show up, if I truly believed that everyone needs to hear this? Would it be, “Hey, we all need to get together for a big webinar,” or would it be something else? And then, what action? What uncommon action am I going to take, in order to grow into that belief?

All right, my friends, that is it for today. Remember, on a certain level, you know who you are. And, each day you're just stepping into what you're here to create.

Hey, if you’re a coach who wants true clarity about your secret sauce, your people, your best way of doing business, and how you talk about your offer, then I invite you to join us in the Clarity Accelerator. I’ll teach you to connect all the dots. The dots that have always been there for you. So, that you can show up like you were born for exactly this.

Come join us and supercharge every other tool or tactic you’ll ever learn, from Facebook ads to manifestation. Just go to TheUncommonWay.com/schedule and set up a time to talk. I can’t wait to be your coach!

Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity First Strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.

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Ep #18: Choosing Uncommon Goals

Episode Summary

Jenna shares what a goal is, how so many of us are used to setting goals, and a new way to start setting goals for yourself.

Get clear on what you offer to whom and how to talk about it … plus actually believe it.  Join us in our Clarity Accelerator 60-day bootcamp by scheduling a call here.

Enjoy the show? Leave a review to help other likeminded entrepreneurs gain clarity in their businesses.

If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.

Show Notes

A goal is an intentional statement about what you’ve decided to believe is possible for yourself. When you set a goal and pursue it as the captain of your own ship while tuning in to your inner guidance and doing things your own way, it is very powerful. So what if you could throw out all the rules and everything you know about goals, and do them differently?

What if the way you thought you should set goals and how you should be during the process and at the final result was wrong for you, and actually getting in the way of your results? Would you be open to trying something new? Well, I might just have the guidance you need this week.

In this episode, I’m sharing the difference between common and uncommon goals and giving you a new way to set goals so you can finally set yourself up for success in 2023. Discover how to spot a common goal, what’s typically being left out when you set a common goal and some mindset perspectives that support uncommon goal-making so you can change the way you approach them moving forward.

What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

• Some common characteristics of common goals.

• How black-and-white thinking can show up with your goals.

• Why your next goal has nothing to do with the results of your past.

• How to become a woman who owns her value and expertise and knows how to articulate it.

• What people don’t stop to consider when making common goals.

• The only purpose of a goal.

• Some powerful questions to ask yourself before your next goal.

• How we commonly set goals and what we make them mean.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

• If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.

• Click here to sign up for my newsletter and find out how the Connect The Dots Method has helped clients in all stages of their business.

• Follow me on Instagram for behind-the-scenes content and daily value bombs!

• Ep #17: The Power of Decisions with Ale Garnica

• Ep #16: Business Minimalism and Why We Overwork

Full Episode Transcript:

What if you can throw out all the rules and do goals totally differently? What if the way you thought you should set goals, and how you should be during the process, and at the final result was completely wrong for you? Was actually getting in the way of your results? Would you be open to trying something new? If so, stick around.

You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life, by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top ranked business coach and reformed overanalyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.

Hey, welcome back to The Uncommon Way. It's November, everyone. It's an exciting time, right? We tend to not be just cruising along this time of year, right? It's not same old, same old. And I love any time when we are off autopilot, when we're really paying attention. So, maybe we're reflecting on the year; we're prepping for the next year.

In the Clarity Accelerator, this specific time’s pretty magical. It's an eight-week journey, you know, so when you enter now, you're perfectly set up to hit the ground running in January. I love that for my clients. You finally know then what to put on your vision board, you know, to really take advantage of that new year's energy. You have clarity around your people, your offer, the work you're doing. It's always powerful work, but it's extra now.

But let's be real, right? There are some other emotions, besides excitement, that tend to show up this time of year. I don't know about you, but my brain can start to offer up some scarcity thoughts. Like, we have this ritual at the house where we all get together the first day of the month, and we turn over the calendar page together. Each year I make this calendar for all of the relatives with pictures of Dylan.

So, every calendar month has a picture of Dylan from the year before. And of course, it's themed to the month and everything; the grandparents love it. But the favorite part for Dylan, is I pretend to be really, really sad, but it's not that much of a pretend thing, you know? I pretend to be very sad when the calendar page turns over. I'm saying, “Oh, I'm going to miss seeing that picture, so much. That was such a special time. I remember that,” when we did X thing.

And then he flips the page, and I go, “Oh, I love that picture. You know, I'm gonna be so happy to see it for the rest of the month. I loved when we did that.” Right? So, it really is emblematic of what we're leaving behind, and what we're remembering, and being joyous. But there's something about November/December, and I know there's only two pages left in the calendar.

Which reminds me, I really need to start making the next one. But anyway, there's only two pages left. And there's that, for me, that feeling of ‘where did the year go?’ Another year; my baby's growing up; all the things. So, that's what my brain does.

But how about you? What does November bring up for you? Maybe you're having thoughts come up about goals, and what you expected for your business this year? Why don't I have the business that I thought I'd have by this point? Or, if you surpassed your goals; was I played small with that goal? Why was I playing small, again?

Or, the rush is beginning, towards the holiday, so how will I get everything done? I don't have time to make my year end goals. Or, you know what? Game over. I don't even want to think about the business or my goals. I'll try again next year. I'm just gonna give myself some grace and focus on what truly matters, my family.

Having personally worked with well over 100 women to grow their businesses, and being a woman building a business myself, if you're having any of this come up, you are so not alone. This is such a natural product of how we commonly set goals and what we make our goals mean.

Unfortunately, that can sabotage our results, just like so many New Year's resolutions that are unsuccessful. If you're showing up to dejected, or frustrated, or just totally checking out, that's not your highest energy; not a place you want to hang out for long, otherwise it is going to get in the way of your potential.

Luckily, there are uncommon ways to set goals and feel a lot better, and generate more growth; business and personal growth. I'm very passionate about this topic. I know that just this one thing, just getting women to set uncommon goals, can start to unlock everything else. A goal is an intentional statement about what you've decided to believe is possible for yourself.

When you can do that, as the captain of your own ship, tuned into your inner guidance and doing things your way, it's very powerful. Of course, that is what the Clarity Accelerator is about, right, helping you get clear on that within yourself, and then own it confidently. You heard my client, Ale, last week, being an example of that, and how confident she was in her decisions.

So, in this episode, I'm going to tell you how to spot a common goal. I'll tell you what's typically being left out when you set common goals. And then, I'll share some mindset perspectives that support uncommon goal making, and what those goals might look like. So, that you can either set a really fantastic goal for yourself for the next two months, or reinvigorate your existing goal. And/or, set yourself up for success in 2023. That is my wish for you in the new year.

Let's just dive right in. Here are some common characteristics of common goals. I'll list them off first: They're made in a very fixed way. They're reactive. We have an unintentional relationship with them. We're highly attached to the results. We don't do thorough planning for actually accomplishing the goal, or managing our minds after the goal. And if we do even evaluate our results afterwards, we don't do it constructively.

I mean, yuck; this is why lots of us don't even set goals. Sometimes I talk to people, you know, on my intake form, when people book a call with me to talk about coaching, I have several questions for them to answer. I recommend going to TheUncommonWay.com/schedule to look those questions over, because just reflecting on them will give you insights about yourself and your business.

But anyway, I ask; What results do you want to create in the next six months? And then, sometimes on the call, I get curious; so, what goal setting have you done around those? Like, what steps are you taking? There are people that say, “Well, I haven't, yet. That just kind of came to me when I was filling out the form.”

So, they think that question is kind of their wish list. It's about their wish list, right, which they can then give to their coach to make happen. Rather than a check in about where they are when it comes to actually manifesting those results. But I digress.

Anyway, let's break down common goals a little bit. So, they tend to be made in a very fixed way. Typically, it's the same way you've done it in the past, or it's based on what someone else is doing. You know, I've always set revenue goals, or my coach is telling me to set revenue goals, or this other person is setting revenue goals. So, I'm going to set a revenue goal.

They also tend to be reactive, in that it's either a stretch goal or an incremental goal. All based on the meaning that you've created and the emotions you felt from past goals or circumstances, right? We let that past then dictate our goals for the future. So, maybe we tend to have 15% growth, so that's our goal: another 15% growth.

Another thing we see, is the relationship with that goal. It's unintentional. It tends to follow really fixed patterns, as well. Because how you do one thing is usually how you do everything. So, if you have the ingrained belief that you have to work really hard to get your results, then the goal, the relationship with that goal… The goal represents your taskmaster, it's driving you to work harder. That's the relationship you've set up with this goal.

If you tend to use things as a way to beat yourself up, your goal’s here to show you the ways you're failing; that's the role of your goal. If you tend to postpone your success, believing that things take a long time, then your goal will be that far off carrot dangling in the distance. It's that elusive thing, right? That's too far away. If you tend to procrastinate and put things off, then the goal is that thing you dismiss or ignore, and you show that it's really not that important.

We do that with our dreams too often, unfortunately. You know, oh, I want to create this new thing, but I'll do it later. I'll do it after the holidays. So yeah, you know, January that'll be a really good time to start the project or work with the coach; whatever.

Look, if this is you, I'm saying this with love. Your dreams don't care about the ways you're inconvenienced by them. Or, the drama your brain will try to create around the fact that you're taking action on them. They just know that the reason you haven't materialized them yet, is because you're dismissing them, you're de-prioritizing them.

What if you really believed your dreams were worth it and they were imminent? What would you be doing? What I notice here, a lot, is a lot of black-and-white thinking, where either It's the dream or some other part of my life. I can either build my business or enjoy the holidays. I can either build my business or have some self-care.

What if going after your dreams is self-care, the greatest self-care? And it doesn't preclude other forms of self-care to think of it in that way. Learning to build a business that exists within your life. And I mean, your real life, not the life when there's this convenient lull after the holidays, right? Or, you've whipped yourself into self-loathing during the holidays, and now you have this fire under your butt.

But all of your life; your integral, whole life. That, then, is a real sustainable business. Right? Definitely listen to the episode on “Business Minimalism” for a refresher on working smarter, not harder. Your dream wants you to be like; you matter, you belong here, welcome into my life. I'm willing to manage my mind around the self-created overwhelm, in order to welcome you into my life.

Okay, off my soapbox. People are typically highly attached to the outcome of common goals. They make a result mean everything about them, about their worth as a person, about their prospects for the future. There's lots of pressure on these goals. So, you're not going to plan for managing your mind after the goal time frame.

It's almost like we don't even want to think about the goal not coming to be, because then we'll jinx something. Or, it's a sign of weakness or disbelief or something like that. But I’ve found, over and over, that this step is what lets you make peace with whatever happens, right? It creates more neutrality. And then, you put all that brain space into actually accomplishing the goal.

That way, by the end of the timeline, it's not like you're tired of thinking about it, and so you don't want to evaluate it. You do; you want to learn and grow. So, when people are making common goals, here's what they don't stop to consider. You can use this as a list for yourself, to ask these really powerful questions before your next goal.

Which of the unlimited possibilities for a goal do I want to pursue? Maybe it's revenue. But maybe it's a number of clients or consultation calls. Or, it's some form of action goals like, I'm going to have this many webinars. But there are an infinity of options.

Ask yourself: What's the why behind my goal? What's driving me to make it? Is it scarcity; I need five clients? Or, is it growth? Is it something that you want to learn to do? Some way that you want to prepare yourself for the future? What do I need to, first, clean up in my mind about past results and events? How can I set this goal from a clean place?

People rarely stop to intentionally create the relationship going forward with that goal. What is my relationship going to be with this goal? What will fuel my results, rather than sabotage them?

A goal isn't the benchmark that you measure your failure against; the goal is here to serve you. It's your partner. It's not the goal’s responsibility to make you feel happy or accomplished. Only you can make you feel that way, from within. But a good relationship with a goal means that it can definitely serve you.

How am I going to achieve that goal? Some people don't have any kind of plan. This is something we do in detail, in Module 10, which is called “Your Success Plan”. We talk all about goals and intentions, and it includes a lot of the material I'm sharing here. But as we all know, setting the goal is just the tip of the iceberg. How are you going to create success? I'll tell you this, it's far more than just the actions you take. We break it into five essential categories.

With common goals, you also tend not to ask, what would need to be true for me to detach from the outcome of the goal? And here you want to think about, how can I both go all in on these results and detach from the outcome? You can ask, what are all the things in my power that I want to focus on related to this goal? Notice I said, “In my power.” Looking at it from this perspective, is how you nurture the power within yourself.

And with common goals, you're probably not deciding in advance, how am I going to treat myself after the goal? If I have the desired result, and if I don't. Or, what about, you do get the desired result but it doesn't happen the way you were expecting? What will you allow yourself to celebrate? Will you actually allow yourself to celebrate? And by the way, you can celebrate regardless of the goal outcome. I know, so different from how we've been brought up, right?

Okay, now let's talk about uncommon goals. Uncommon goals are more tailored to you, independent of others, in service of your highest potential. First, they're not tied to the past. I know that's how we're taught to think, that the past predicts the future. But that's far from true when it comes to human ingenuity.

Your next goal has nothing to do with the results of your past. But if this is a stretch, then at least, tell yourself a creative story about your past that fuels you instead of tearing you down. And one way to do that, I'll let you know, is to get creative with time.

I have a client who had a goal of signing five new clients by the end of the year. “But I've had no consults in the last two weeks,” she told me, and there was this very dejected look on her face. As if that really meant something. As if that statement really meant something. But really, it has nothing to do with what can happen over the next months.

But our brains want to establish worrisome patterns, right? If they can decipher the danger ahead of time, you stay alive. Or, in this case, you won't have to deal with disappointment, right? I'm not going to sign five clients, so I won't get my hopes up.

But when we dug around a bit, it turns out, in the last two months she'd brought on three clients. So, she could just as easily choose to tell herself, “If I just keep doing what I'm doing, being how I'm being, there will likely be three more, right? Why wouldn't there be if nothing changes?” So, instead of looking at the timeline of the last two weeks and using that against her, she can choose to look at the timeline of the last two months and how much that serves her.

Or, you could look at the rate of change compared to last year. Oh my god. “At this rate, it's very possible that I'll be booked out by early spring.” Or, “Who knows? It could happen overnight. Things are obviously accelerating.” So, the moral of the story, if you're gonna hang out in the past, then at least use the past for you, rather than against you.

Feel the energy difference between, “Ugh, I'm not getting any people booking in for consult calls. I'll never make my year end goals.” And, “This is so exciting. I'm sliding right into being booked out. This momentum, it's just rolling.” And so of course, then that's what we tend to create, either of those two.

This does not have to be bypassing, it's not Pollyanna positivity, it can be intentional. “Oh, I see that negativity bias at work. And I see how the other is equally true. I'm choosing that one.”

All right. So, we've talked about how uncommon goals are not tied to the past. They're also highly individual and self-determined. They're totally up to you. They're here to help you become who you need to become, in order to have that result. I know this is a mind bender, but the result of a goal is secondary. Again, they're here to help you become who you need to become, in order to have that result.

The learning that happens, the transformation that happens, that's the true reason for the goal. And once the growth has happened, you'll have your results. But you don't know when that will actually happen. You've never done it before; how can you know? You don't know what mindset blocks will come up that need to be worked through, what life events will happen.

I've mentioned this before, but my business grew less quickly than might have been expected, on paper, given other things I'd accomplished in life. But I don't regret it. I had some stuff to unpack, that I probably wouldn't have done if my business had just taken off. There are things that I still see people working through, that have far larger businesses than me.

I am very grateful for where I am. And when I think back, I realize I might have had an idea for how my business and my life should go, but that's not necessarily the best thing, right? I believe we have a higher intelligence guiding us. So yes, you get to set the goal you want, in the way you want to set it.

It really is possible to set sparkly goals all of the time; goals that make you feel excited and lit up. Like, why not choose that experience? You can choose however you want to feel, so feel amazing about this thing you're working towards. And do the work you need to do, to feel amazing.

Why aren't I feel amazing about this goal? Oh, interesting. Good to know. Okay, well, that's where my work is. How different will it be when I'm no longer carrying that baggage around? Just imagine! Game changer! This is going to be so good.

Okay, I'll give some examples of these, in a second. But after first talking about how the goals are not tied to the past, and they're very individual and self-determined, I just want to go into how they have a very strong, intentional ‘why’. That step, of creating that ‘why’, really helps you detach from the outcome.

Because if your goal is just 10 clients, you're failing all the way up through nine clients. But if your goal is 10 clients this year, so that…, among other things, you vastly refine your messaging and your understanding of what helps your people feel safe to buy.

Because your goal is to one day help 1,000 women create this change in their lives, right, and 10 is the stepping stone to get there. Then, every time a new piece of your messaging locks into place, you’re like win, win, another win. And who you're becoming, is a woman who confidently owns her value and expertise, and can articulate it.

So, it's not that you lose the desire or intention for the 10 clients, but the attachment has completely shifted. Of course, you need to figure this out for you, what it is that feels real to you and is exciting enough to help you detach from the result. It's different for everyone, as it should be.

I always say, no two businesses are alike, because no two people are alike. But again, the only purpose of a goal, is what's that goal going to do for you? Who will you become, in the process of trying to achieve it? Once you become that person who achieves those results, the actual results come.

I'll say that, again; once you become the person who achieves those results, the actual results come. Take away the business of a billionaire, they'll build back to that level more quickly than you or I will, because that's just who they are now.



So, where is your growth? Is it in stretching yourself? Is it in maintaining? Is it something different? Stretch goals are great for helping us think outside of the box; about accomplishing something that blows our mind, just to see what's possible.

Now that I've doubled or exceeded doubling my business revenue in a year, that doesn't seem far-fetched to me anymore. That was great growth for me. I was willing to fail, and willing to have a relationship with myself if I failed, in order for that growth.

I can remember, in just December of last year, I was so deep into my goal, and I was paying such attention to my drivers; what was really driving my emotions and my thoughts about all of this. That I uncovered lessons that far exceeded the value of that goal, right? I remember saying, “If I'm not meant to achieve this, then it's okay. Because this other thing is worth so much more. I will sacrifice that to have finally understood this about myself.”

I think it was about recognition; there was some recognition I was craving and I needed to give recognition to myself first, or something. It was really deep at the time. I can't remember it now. Because, hey, the entrepreneurship game is just one lesson after another. So, I can't remember if that was a specific one, but it was very deep.

I do remember I was in tears. I remember exactly where I was; I was across the stream behind my house, and in another field. I was throwing the ball for my dog, and I remember kind of just having one of those moments. Where it's like the earth stops, and you finally gain that awareness. It finally clicks and you're like, oh, oh, it was so good. It was so good.

So, where was I going with that? Oh, right. Okay, so I was saying, I was willing to fail and willing to love myself through that failure, in order for that growth that I knew it would take to get me there. So, once you set a stretch goal, then you stretch yourself, in order to stretch your mind and your belief.

Maybe your growth for this period isn't about revenue or clients. Maybe it's about stretching your visibility. Maybe it's to desensitize yourself to doing Facebook Lives™. I had a client once, that did 30 straight days of Facebook Lives because it scared her to death. And afterwards, it didn't scare her anymore.

So, your goals do not have to be revenue or client based; who says revenue or client should be the main measure of success? We get to choose. Okay, before we get to choose, I've had clients come to me who were making seven figures, and they didn't really know what they wanted to do.

They did not feel successful because of the revenue. They wanted to feel self-actualized. They wanted that personal growth rather than monetary growth. I honor that. Now, you know me, I do think there can be both, right. But if in this period of your life, you're giving your full attention to one, great.

Okay, your growth may be in setting a maintaining type of goal, right? I'm gonna maintain exactly what I've been doing, because my growth is to believe this is just how I do now. This is my new normal. And my growth is to work through my judgment about that, about me not striving. How will my nervous system react to me not doing more and more and more? Can I allow myself to really stretch in something outside of business maybe, and not stretch so much in business, right now?

That was, for me personally, another period of personal growth; I did that. Now, as you'll see, as I've been explaining this, with maintaining goals, none of this is to help you get out of challenging yourself. Right? I love challenge. I think good stress is great for all of us. There can still be challenge within the maintaining. There can still be growth within the maintaining.

All I'm saying, is that sometimes the real challenge is not in setting a bigger goal, especially if that's what you're used to doing. And the truly uncommon thing, is following the beat of your own drum, rather than striving to reach someone else's benchmarks.

You could even choose to throw out the whole idea of yearly or monthly goals; you can just decide my goal is my one next client. Right? It could happen today. As quickly as it can, surprise me Universe. I'm bringing in my next aligned client. And, it will feel like we've known each other for ages.

Some of us create far bigger results. We really blow our minds when we're not setting specific smart goals. Our nervous systems can relax, and we aren't sabotaging our goals with our brain drama. If this is where you are, do what works for you. Allow yourself to show up amazingly well, and see your results compound, not diminish, because of smaller goals.

And there all sorts of combinations of the above. Maybe, I want to maintain revenue while not feeling stressed. Or, I want to grow revenue while working fewer hours per week. You get to play with all of this. You purposely leaning into your true growth, knowing it will be a challenge, is such a gift to your future.

There are so many people that just stay with what's working, even if they know it's not good for them. And then over time, their problems just compound. Or something new happens, they have a much bigger business and they aren't prepared, so they go through a really rocky time. I encourage you to play with all of these different types of goals, and really see what works for you.

Because this is you testing how you manifest. Yes, there are some universal principles. Obviously, if you're in a really negative place, and you're having to show up in front of people, that's probably not going to work for you. But really, only you can figure out the specifics for you. I love helping people figure that out.

It is so fun when you see somebody really starting to feel out their groove and get their groove. Like, you heard Ale last week, right? Just a really lovely level of self-knowledge. Okay, so we talked about uncommon goals not being tied to the past. We talked about them having a strong intentional ‘why’. We gave examples of how that ‘why’ will fuel different types of goals.

And now, you want to decide the relationship you'll have with that, ahead of time. Right? This isn't my taskmaster. Maybe, this is my lighthouse, for instance. When I think of my goal, I imagine her shining through in foggy moments, being like, “This is the way. You can reach me.” And then, you decide, holistically, how you're going to accomplish the goal.

I said before, we zero in on five things in the Clarity Accelerator. But for instance, you know your brain pretty well. You know what it might start saying to you partway through, when it's feeling doubtful. Or, in what ways it might try to distract you from actually creating that success, and inviting in all that dangerous change.

So, what are you going to do when those things happen? What's your plan? That is a plan on how you're going to accomplish the goal. It's a plan to avoid self-sabotage. That's just as important as, I'm going to do 10 webinars; far more important, I'd argue. And you also decide, in advance, how you're going to treat yourself with different outcomes.

Your brain, likely, will forget, when the time comes, what you decided, by the way. Oh, I just forgot to celebrate and reward myself. Oops, I just forgot not to beat myself up. No, you go back to what you wrote down at the very beginning. You, as the CEO of your brain, as the adult in the room, you need to intentionally set up a positive feedback loop that tells your brain, “See, brain? Going after big goals, or slowing down to focus on true growth goals, this feels good. We like this, let's do even more of it.”

So, to recap: The way we commonly set goals, is far from the only way to set goals. Uncommon goal setting is more powerful and far less painful. To get there, you've got to put the past aside. You've got to get clear on your ‘why’; use that to determine your goal. Establish a healthy relationship with your goal. Then, plan in advance for how you'll accomplish it. And, how you want to treat yourself afterwards, given all different possible outcomes.

That will help you detach from the result itself, fall in love with exactly where you are, and then you'll probably be surprised with what you call in from that place. But even then, you still want to evaluate them. You want to get clear on how that happened, so that you can replicate it.

Circling back to what you want to accomplish in the next couple of months. Or, if you're listening to this after November, whatever you want to accomplish next. If you made your current goal from a clean, aligned place, then stick with it. We don't want to reactively change goals, ever. We want to hold beliefs throughout. We want to keep learning until the end. And then, evaluate afterwards, so we can 10x our results next time.

Now, if you didn't make a goal, or if you don't like how you’ve made your goal, if this discussion’s opened you up to a different way, then change it. You're your own boss; don't wait another day not walking your uncommon way in your business and life.

Okay, my friends, that's it for today. And remember, deep down, you know who you are. And each day you're stepping further into what you're here to create.

Hey, if you're a coach who wants true clarity about your secret sauce, your people, your best way of doing business, and how you talk about your offer, then I invite you to join us in the Clarity Accelerator. I'll teach you to connect all the dots. The dots that have always been there for you, so that you can show up like you were born for exactly this.

Come join us, and supercharge every other tool or tactic you'll ever learn, from Facebook® ads to manifestation. Just go to TheUncommonWay.com/schedule and set up a time to talk. I can't wait to be your coach.

Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity First Strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit TheUncommonWay.com See you next time.

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Ep #17: The Power of Decisions with Ale Garnica

Episode Summary

Jenna and Ale discuss why making decisions can often feel so uncomfortable, and the power that making a decision can have upon your life and business.

Get clear on what you offer to whom and how to talk about it … plus actually believe it.  Join us in our Clarity Accelerator 60-day bootcamp by scheduling a call here.

Enjoy the show? Leave a review to help other likeminded entrepreneurs gain clarity in their businesses.

If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.

Show Notes

Right now, there is some decision in your life that you are not making. I get it, I’ve been there. But what you’re not realizing is how much you are sacrificing because of it. The act of powerfully making a decision changes things immediately, and this week, I’m welcoming my client Ale Garnica to the show to share her own experiences with making decisions, and to show you the power of making them in your life and business.

Ale works with women who are in the same place she was 10 years ago, who appear to have a perfect life yet still feel unsatisfied. She helps them create peace of mind and tap into what they are passionate about, and she joins me this week to share how she learned to make decisions, and how doing so changed the way she shows up in her business.

Join us this week and hear why you might find some discomfort after making a decision, but why this is key to understanding your purpose even further. Hear more about the work Ale has done on herself, some of the beliefs she had that were preventing her from making the decisions she needed to in her business, and some powerful questions to ask yourself to help you make a decision you’ve been putting off.

What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

• The relief Ale felt when she finally made a decision that was aligned with what she wanted in her business.

• How making a decision can free you from the mental time and energy you are spending dwelling on something.

• How to stop making decisions from a place of fear.

• Why you don’t have to make a decision and stick to it forever.

• How you will always be presented with opportunities until you have learned what you need to learn.

• Where so many people get tripped up around decisions and block their abundance.

• How to step into aligned decision for yourself and how good it can feel when you get there.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

• If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.

• Click here to sign up for my newsletter and find out how the Connect The Dots Method has helped clients in all stages of their business.

• Follow me on Instagram for behind-the-scenes content and daily value bombs!

• Ale Garnica: Website | Instagram

Full Episode Transcript:

Right now, there's some decision in your life that you're not making. But what you're not fully realizing is how much you're sacrificing because of it. Just the act of powerfully making the decision changes things immediately. My client, Ale, is going to share her story with you, so you can see how this can work for you, too.

You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life, by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top ranked business coach and reformed overanalyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.

Jenna Harrison: Hey, welcome back to The Uncommon Way. The other day, my client, Ale, and I were on a call. We got into such a great discussion that I knew immediately I needed to bring her on. So, we've been working together for over a year. And this is what happens, especially when your clients are so smart, and intuitive, and such great coaches themselves, you get into this truly co-creative space.

I was downloading, and then she was summarizing it in a way that was so spot on and brought even more clarity; it just flows so well, right? Like, we're honeybees going from flower to flower, except the flowers are ideas. I knew this episode would be richer if I had her here. I also know how important and impactful it is for you, the listener, to hear this from a client rather than from me.

I think I mentioned this in the last episode or the one before, but it's one thing when your coach says something is possible or advantageous, and another entirely when a peer says so. That's why, when I started adding in the group component, even for one-to-one clients, we saw such great results.

So, without further ado, hi, Ale. Thanks so much for being here with us today.

Ale Garnica: Thank you, Jenna, for having me. So happy to be here.

Jenna: I was hoping we could give everyone a little bit of background, quickly, about your story. So, what led you to coaching? And what kind of business do you have?

Ale: Okay, so what led me to coaching was really, it was a breakthrough in my life. Which, when I was diagnosed with cancer in that moment, I started to question everything I was going for in my life. And I realized that even when I had everything I thought I wanted, or even more than what I thought I wanted… I was living in London back then. I had a very good job. I wasn't fully satisfied. So, I knew something had to change.

I started to work on myself, on my own self-discovery. And that led me to take courses in Mexico, get certified there. And once I moved to the US, I continued with those studies, but I knew I had to get certified in the US, as well. So, that's when I decided to go for life coaching.

After that, when I decided to create my own business, is when I said okay, I believe in the power of coaching. So, I need to get a coach for myself. And that's when I started working with you.

The business I have is I work with women who are in the same place where I was ten years ago. Where they have, what in appearance, looks like the perfect life, but they still feel unsatisfied. I help them create peace of mind and tap into what they are passionate about. Tap into their purpose to live a fulfilling life.

Jenna: I love that. I have seen that in you. I've seen you transform, and you are such a product of your product. Even over the time we've worked together, I've seen all the work you've done on yourself to continue putting into practice what you preach.

Ale: Yeah, it's been a lot of fun.

Jenna: If I can just take everyone right back to a moment in time, I think it's a great place to start our story. And that's when I received a Voxer message from you about the Mexico client. So, can I just start there?

Ale: Yes, please.

Jenna: So, you sent me a Voxer message and you said that today you're going to have a consult call or a sales call with someone from Mexico. And you're a little concerned, because you noticed yourself dealing with a scarcity mindset lately. And you've noticed yourself becoming more attached to the numbers in your bank, now that you don't have income coming in from the career, the job, that you've had for so many years.

You're starting to worry about running out of money. You were sure that was going to show up on this call, right? She would be able to feel that neediness. And so, you're realizing, though, that you still have all these thoughts about people in Mexico not being able to pay you. That they make less than we do here in the US. And so, they wouldn't be able to afford the prices you usually charge.

So, I always ask my clients to tell me what they've been doing already, and to think about what they need next, for their next steps. And you, of course, are an ideal client. Whenever you ask for anything, you go full in on it. So, you told me that you'd been journaling about how paying a higher price was going to be so beneficial for her. Like, how would that really help her?

But you were still believing, even though it would be helpful for her, it was going to be really hard for her to do it, for her make it happen. And so, you were asking for some guidance on moving through that scarcity mindset, when it comes to people that are in Mexico or a country where they make less. You said you really wanted to get over that feeling whenever someone reaches out to you from one of those countries.

Ale: Yes, yeah.

Jenna: Do you remember what I suggested?

Ale: Yes, I remember very well. Because, I mean, you helped me realize that it wasn't, of course, the first time I brought this to you. And the first thing you said was, okay, this is happening because we have not made a decision. I was like, oh, no. Really, what previously I have shared this with you, and we talked about making a decision on how much I was going to charge to people that are not in the US, and probably in developing countries.

I resisted to make the decision. I didn't do it. And then, I brought it up again. And when you said that, I was like, yes, of course, I have not made the decision. So really, the way you put it was, make a decision on what is that you want. What is how much you want to charge them.

And you gave me several options there, that helped me tremendously. Not only to decide, but also to feel comfortable with the decision. Knowing that it was the best for me and for my future clients, and the person I was going to be having a consultation call with.

Jenna: That is absolutely what we do. So, I see it with all of my clients, right? They'll bring me one thing they think is the issue. But really, there's something else going on. And I know your clients, right, do that, as well. I certainly do it with my coaches. And so, you were really wanting coaching on the scarcity. Right?

But actually, there was this other thing, which was the decision that hadn't been made. And what I think I was trying to help you see, when I answered you, was that whatever, regardless of the decision you made, you're going to feel discomfort in some way about it; if you decided to charge them the same amount as your other clients; if you were going to charge them less. You'd have all sorts of thoughts.

Can you think through, like, do you remember what some of those thoughts were?

Ale: The first time I brought this up to you was with a previous prospect. I gave them a lower price and I felt really bad about it. I was feeling guilty and it was very uncomfortable. So, when you said that, when you said, okay, either you charge less or you charge more, you're gonna feel uncomfortable anyways.

So, when I remembered that I was like, oh yes of course, I remember that I felt very bad when I charged less. And I kind of created some resentment, as well, towards that client because I was not charging what I said I was going to charge. So, that realization helped me to say, okay, now is the moment for me to make the decision. And just get rid of that mind drama that I've been having for years. Because this has been happening for quite a bit of time.

So, either, charging more was going to be uncomfortable, charging less was going to be uncomfortable, so I better just set the price. And then, deciding would also help me get rid of the mind drama, but also be okay with the price, and feel okay with that price.

Jenna: Yeah, yeah. Because, right even in that Voxer message, you'd already said, “I'm worried about the numbers going down in my bank account.” So, we know that if you charge her less, that's going to come up, right? And interestingly enough, the other time, when you'd had the previous client, and you did charge her less, I remember you came to a group call. It was really with this energy of guilt. You were kind of like, Jenna, I have to tell you something. As if I’d get really upset about it.

This is how our brain works, as well. Because I remember, for sure, at the time, I said, “That's you absolutely your decision. There's no wrong or right about whether you charge them more or less.” But at that point, we had been working on helping you really step into your value and raise your prices.

And so, at that point, I don't think that really landed for you. It wasn't until I said it this time, like, there really is no right or wrong. Right? That you were really able to sink into that. So, last time, you charged someone less. But you were already, now, potentially going to replicate that. And you'd already said that your bank account was dwindling.

So, you’d know that afterwards, you'd have thoughts about, I could have been bringing in more. But if you did charge more, you'd probably have thoughts about, oh, is it too much for them? What kind of results do I have to guarantee them now, that they're giving away their card to work with me, or whatever it might be, right?

Ale: Or, maybe, if they would’ve have signed if I would have charged less? That's another thought that I would have. Like, I mean, that's the reason why they didn’t sign, is because I charged this much.

Jenna: Right. “I should have offered less, because then they would have said yes.” Rather than believing that your price is the price that your clients want to pay.

Ale: Hmm, yeah, exactly. Yeah. So, either way it is going to be uncomfortable. So, I better make the decision.

Jenna: Yes. And so, what we then moved into, and why I thought this was so important for us to bring to a podcast, was that this unleashed so much just when you made the decision. Why don’t you talk about what happened from that point on, just when you finally decided?

Ale: Well, I think that really, several things happened. I was just thinking that even before making the decision. What happened, was that when we were talking, I was having the consultation call that day, when I brought it up to you. And while we were exchanging messages, I got a message from the person that was going to have the consultation call with me. Telling me, hey, I can't make it, can we postpone the call? And I was like, oh my.

So, I told you, this is the sign from the Universe; that he has my back because he's giving me enough time for me to make the decision. That was one big thing that happened. Because I think the Universe already saw me that I was working on making the decision, doing some thought download and some work.

But also, what happened is that I felt much better. I felt lighter once I wrote it down, and I said, okay, this is going to be the price I'm going to charge them. I actually asked my intuition what was the price I wanted to charge. Something I've been practicing lately, and I listened. It was less than what I was planning to charge, actually, and that surprised me. But I went with it anyways. And then, once I wrote it down, then I said, okay, it's not changing.

You also offered me two other questions, that helped me a lot with feeling comfortable with making the decision. Because the way I was making it mean, was that the decision was going to be forever, almost. So, what you offered me helped me think, okay, this is just from now until I reevaluate if I'm going to be charging this same price.

I decided to charge that price for just a certain number of people, that were coming from those countries. I showed up in a completely different way with this person in the consultation call. I was very present. I think the way, or the value, I brought to that call would have not been there if I would have not made the decision.

Jenna: Because what would you have been doing instead?

Ale: Well, I know it had happened before. I was really paying a lot of attention into like, the price point. Like, I was thinking during the call, before the call and during the call, I was thinking, how much am I going to charge them? I was kind of looking for evidence that proved that they could pay the price I wanted to charge, or that they could not pay the price I wanted to charge.

That was keeping me absent from the call, and not really being there for them, which at the end, is the purpose of the consultation. So, it was really not a pleasant experience. What was also happening, is that I was, whenever someone reached out from Mexico for a consultation call, I didn't like it.

I was like, no, no, no, no, no. Because I didn't want to go through the uncomfortable feeling of charging them more than what I wanted to, or what I thought they could pay. So, even that was completely different after I made the decision.

Jenna: Yeah, yeah. You were blocking yourself from bringing in a whole country's worth of clients.

Ale: Yes, yes. And people that I love working with, at the end, is my people; Spanish speaking. I mean, it's a complete different approach, whenever I am coaching in my own language.

Jenna: Yeah, I can imagine. And so, I know it's probably, you mentioned those questions, and I did go back and write those down, just so I could share them. But just in case, any of you are thinking through these types of things, as well. Maybe you have a subset of your people, that you believe aren't able to pay your fee; you have so many options, right?

Like Ale and I know now, it's not just a black-and-white, and it's not forever. But you can decide that everyone will want to pay your price; all of your right clients, that are meant for you, will want to pay your price. And so, even within that subset, there are actually people that can't afford you.

So, like Ale and I, we talked about this, there are so many affluent Mexicans. So many affluent Mexicans, right? So many affluent Colombians. So many people that still need coaching, that would be happy to pay, and then even expect to pay, right?

That could be the decision, that she decides, to step into that energy of, they're absolutely out there. And believing that they're out there, finding evidence that they're out there. Everything I've talked about on the podcast, before. And she can also decide, you know what, this is basically my scholarship fund, right?

Like, I have three spots that are open, or however many spots that are my scholarship spots, specifically for people that aren't able to pay that price. And this is the price that is available for scholarship people, right? And then they're happy. They can wait, if those spots are filled, they can wait until one opens up.

Or, you could even do some, and I think this is where it came in that it doesn't have to be forever. You can decide, right now, with; because I've decided to leave my corporate job, and I really do need to replace my income, I'm not accepting scholarship clients at this time. And when I get to X-level of right income, or this many clients, or whatever parameters you decide to set, that is when I'm going to start accepting scholarship clients. So, you had so many options, and there was no right or wrong about how you decided to have your pricing.

Ale: That was super helpful for me to definitely get out of my box, because I tend to see things in black-or-white. And, that's about me.

Jenna: As we all do.

Ale: And then, yes, like create the comfort to make the decision. Also, like, even making the decision helped me own the role of the CEO and say; okay, this is my business. I get to decide what to do with my business. Whatever aligns with my values is the decision I'm gonna make.

I knew I wanted to work with these people. I also knew that I didn't want to give it for free, because I know that there's a lot of value for them whenever they pay for these types of service. But I also knew that, probably I wasn't at that point mentally, for me to charge exactly the same as I charge people in the US.

Jenna: I was gonna ask you like, why did you decide to charge less?

Ale: I think it was what I said earlier, like thinking that I wanted people from Mexico or any other country where the income is less, I wanted those people to be my clients. I didn't want to be selective or restrictive. I want to work with just anybody who feels is the right fit with me, or whoever I feel is the right fit for me.

Also, like, I knew that it was gonna be a stretch for my brain to charge them the same as the people I’d charge in the US. I wasn’t there 100%. So, I said, okay, I'm gonna meet myself wherever I am, in terms of money mindset. I'm just gonna do three spots at this price range. And I'm gonna reevaluate by the end of the year. I mean, that felt much better. As soon as I decided I was like, ooph, it was a huge relief.

Jenna: Yeah, yeah. So, the last time you charged someone less, you felt guilty. Right? What do you think happened, that this time you felt relief?

Ale: I think it was that I was kind of freed from the mind drama that I had around it. Because just thinking about that was draining my energy. And I'm very, very careful with my energy.

Jenna: So, for those of you that know human design, Ale is a Projector. And one of the things we've been working on, is really her being able to target her energy to what's most aligned for her. To really be a good guard of her energy level.

Ale: Yes. It's something I'm very conscious about. I'm really, really working a lot on making sure that I invest my energy in what brings me the most joy. So, I knew that not making the decision was draining my energy; it didn't feel good. I also needed to create some space for me to use my mind, to be more creative for my own business and for my clients, as well. I kind of forgot what you asked, but I hope this answers the question.

Jenna: Well, as I was listening to you, and I'm just trying to think through, like, what happened, right. Really so that people can replicate this for themselves, in terms of really… Because you have made such a shift and come to this true resolution. One, is really developing the body of thoughts around it. Around the “why”, which you have.

As anyone, that's listening to you answer, can hear all of your rationale for why this instead of another choice. But also, as I'm listening to you, I'm thinking you've said a couple times that it aligns to your values, and so much of what you do. You've also said, meeting yourself where you are. What you do in your own practice is so much of that self-acceptance.

What I'm thinking about, your people, they're just so hard on themselves, right? And, they're so driven. And they really don't have that sense of inner peace. And so, look at you now making this decision, and being like, oh, but I'm just going to meet myself where I am. I absolutely accept that this, right now, is where my brain is. And, this is the price that I want to charge.

Ale: Yes, I know that several months ago, I would have pushed myself to charge more. Like no, this is where your business is gonna be in a year, then this is what you're meant to charge. And, that's it. Being really tough with myself.

Jenna: “And if I don’t, if I slip up, I'm gonna feel really guilty when I tell my coach.”

Ale: Yes. I'm gonna go, “I have something to confess.” Yes. Yeah, no, but in this time, I really was very compassionate towards myself. I knew I wasn't there, yet. And I think also, knowing that I know I can get there, like this trust in myself, that I've nurtured so much, I know I'm gonna get there.

I know I'm gonna get to the point where I can charge everybody equally. But I wasn't there, just yet. So, just the combination of trust and compassion towards myself is really what helped me be totally okay with charging less, and actually get excited about working with them, even when I am charging less.

Jenna: Yes, yes. Which changes your entire coaching relationship. And I'm sure, it does have some influence on their results, as well, what they get from you. It's just so much proof of how you are a product of your product, and why you're such an amazing coach, and why your Instagram® has blown up.

You have so many people coming to watch your reels, and just loving seeing your light. It's because you truly have developed that self-acceptance and really having your own back. I mean, we keep joking about this time you came to me feeling guilty.

But I really think that would have been very different right now, if you had gone ahead and just, you know, decided to charge less, and come to the call and were reporting on a new client. I think that you would have really spoken about it in a completely different way.

Ale: Mm-hmm. I agree. I totally agree. Yes. Yeah. I think that because of that love, and patience, and understanding, I have towards myself, I would have seen it completely different.

Jenna: Yeah. Yeah. I wanted to pick up something you said earlier. You were talking about how the Universe was really looking out for you, when that client postponed the call, and it gave you that time to think through these things.

But I also think, that even bringing this client was the Universe. Again, giving you that nudge to make this decision and really step in to owning what you were going to do. And to not feel guilty, and to own it, right, unabashedly; this is absolutely what I do and why. That was also a gift. And, that was also looking out for you.

Ale: Yes, I needed to make that decision in order for me to clear that space. And also, to follow what my values are for my business. Like, working with those people, helping anybody, and not make it around the money, but make it around what I value that most. So, definitely, the Universe was telling me; hey, you forgot to make these decisions. So, here is someone that will help you with that.

Jenna: Right, exactly. And whether you think of it as the Universe, or as our own subconscious, that is drawing these things, and leading us into situations again and again, or reflecting that back to us, the truth is that you are given those “opportunities” again and again and again. Until you finally do what needs to be done. So, you can finally, whatever it is; receive more, or charge more, or trust more, or own your power more. There are always those opportunities for us.

Ale: Yes, definitely.

Jenna: Really, the trick, is once you've made the decision; yes, you are going to feel some discomfort again, at some point. Can you stick with it?

Ale: Yeah, yeah. I also think that the questions that you gave me were so powerful, that I didn't even hesitate about that. Like, am I gonna stick with the decision? Because I think the reevaluation piece is what gave me the comfort to stick with it.

Because I was like; it's just from now until the end of the year, and then I will reevaluate. It's okay. Also, thinking that decisions can change. I mean, I tend to think, I think that many people tend to think, that you're once you make a decision that's the path you have to follow. But we can always change our decision. Not to change the route or like, follow our fear. But just to know that there's another way for us to take, if things don't come out the way we expect.

Jenna: Yeah, yeah. And, that is something that's worth expanding on. Because what is that distinction between reevaluation and following your fear? That’s where so many people get tripped up, and I think, where they block their abundance in such a big way.

So, what we're doing when we're reevaluating, is we're committing to our decision for that period of time. And that's completely different than what most people do. Which is, they make a decision, they get any bit of feedback that feels uncomfortable, like a client doesn't sign or something, then they go and they change their decision.

But what that's doing, it’s showing your emotional reactivity. And then, the Universe knows that you really aren't ready yet, because you're obviously not decided. You’ve obviously haven't really embodied that or integrated that. And so, you keep making these decisions based on fear; okay, well, then you need another opportunity to trust.

Ale: Yeah, yeah. I like the way you put it once, when we were talking, that the Universe can get confused if you keep changing the decision, or you act in a way that is not aligned with the decision you took. I truly believe that. I truly believe that it's like; okay, you're telling me this, so I'm gonna give you, based on what you decided. But now, you're changing directions. What's going on?

Jenna: Right. Just know, for anyone listening, that there probably will be discomfort after a decision. And that's just an opportunity, then, to really help you know your “why” even further.

So, we just had a bootcamp call, right before this. I was speaking to one of the boot campers, and she really wanted to speak to three people, in this new niche that she was going after. She did end up speaking to five people, but only one was really an ideal client. Right? And so, there was a part of her, the reactivity, the emotional reactivity, has her thinking; should I change niches? Maybe, it's really hard to find these people.

That is really just a reflection, and giving her the opportunity to be like, no. Why, again, do I believe that so many people need this? Why, again, do I believe that there are so many people out there? Why, again, do I know this connects my dots, and this is why I have to do it?

That's all that's happening, right now. Because it's so funny, everyone else on the call, we could say, everyone and their dog needs this service. Right? Everybody needs this. But when you're in it, and you're in that fear, you're like; I don't know. It’s just another opportunity to be like; no, I do know, dammit. I do know. And once you get into that energy, watch out world.

Ale: Mm-hmm. Yes, yeah. And it's incredible, because everything changes. Like, even the way you act changes, but also, things start to align just based on that decision. And, it's shocking, really.

Jenna: So, let’s talk about that. Because you made her the offer, and then what happened?

Ale: Well, first of all, the consultation call went very well; I felt really good. And it was because I came with a very clean mind, like, not thinking about money, so that was awesome. At the end of the call, she even said, “You are my coach,” when I said, “So what do you think?” And she said, “You are my coach.” So, she said yes.

But then, she didn't pay. So, it was probably like four days after the call, she didn't pay. So, I reached out to you. The fear started to creep in, so I was kind of doubting. And then you said, I don't remember exactly how you said it, but like, who is meant to be my client is going to be there.

Jenna: Your clients won’t pass you by.

Ale: Yeah, yeah, exactly. The clients won't pass me by. Yes, exactly. And I have evidence for that. So, that was very reassuring. I felt more at peace when reading that. I was like; it's true. It's very true. So, my energy shifted in that moment.

And then, when I read this, like, probably twenty minutes later, she reached out. She sent me a screenshot with the payment. And I was like; yeay, she paid. I think I let you know that, by the way, she already paid, while we were talking.

Jenna: It was like; of course. Like, I knew that you have this ability to really bring in your people. There have been times where you're like; oh, this person, I don't know. And yet, then when you talk to them, it makes so much sense why you were brought together.

What I want people to realize is that in that moment, when you were in doubt and fear and I sent you that message, that was another decision point for you. You decided to lean in, to trust. You decided to lean into this energy of, I got this. I don't remember when you said it, Ale, but you said, even if she had not paid, you already would have gotten all of the lessons that you needed from her. Either way, it was a gift already.

Ale: Mm-hmm. Yes. I mean, there are so many gifts that that person brought to me. I think every person has brought a lot of gifts to me, but she especially. Like the fact that I took the decision, it was because of her. I mean, if she would have not come, I would have not made the decision.

But also, how I felt after the consultation call was like; oh, my God. This is how much I can be when I show up with certainty. And yeah, I mean, I think also, the fact that she said… Well, that was after she signed, but those two things were really a big gift for me, because of her.

Jenna: It helped you lean in to that cleanness and that CEO-ness. Also, it helped you to really lean into kind of this trust, that your clients won't pass you by, no matter what. And from that place of confidence, then she was very, like it somehow, potentially, reached her within a very short amount of time. From that decision point, on your end, to be like; I no longer worry about this. I know my clients are meant for me. And then, boom, here comes the client.

Ale: Yeah, yeah. And, that's another huge gift. Stepping in my role as a CEO, that makes decisions that align with the values of the business, is another big gift, that I am very grateful for. Yes.

Jenna: I do, before we go on, because believe it or not, there's even more. I do want to talk about those questions, because you've mentioned them a few times. So, these are the questions I gave you. Number one; why is it worth it to you to make this decision?

You know, because we do want to get the brain on board with even making the decision. Because it spends so much time in fear about the decision, and all the things that can go wrong by making the decision; of course, the clients won't sign. Or, I’ll offend somebody. Or, I'm going against my values, I'll feel terrible.

That we don't usually give it enough time in the positive place. So, like, why is it worth it to make the decision? What can happen? Why will it be so great? Now, in the benefit of hindsight, everyone here is getting to hear why it was so great. You weren't thinking that at the time. That wasn't your experience. So yeah, why is it worth it to you have to make that decision?

And then, yeah, when will you reevaluate the decision? And, why do you want to choose that option?

Ale: Mm hmm. Yeah. And, both of them are super important. Yeah.

Jenna: So, can you think of another time that there has been a decision point?

Ale: Yes. The first one that comes to my mind, is when I decided to work with you. That was a big decision for me, because of many reasons. But I have never had business coach. I've never made that type of investment. For me, it was huge.

That definitely changed everything, in the way I saw myself and my business. Like, I said to myself, unconsciously; okay, I am taking this seriously. This is no game now. And the actions after that, showed it. I was very serious. I was taking every assignment and every call seriously, because I mean, this is my business.

Also, the self-concept changed completely. I mean, I remember that after we finished the call, I went out to have some drinks with some friends, and everything looked very different; it looked brighter, it was warmer, sunnier, than before. Just because of that decision, and I felt so good. I was like; oh, my God, I don't know why I didn't do this earlier. So yes, that was a big one.

Jenna: When we step into aligned decisions for ourselves, how good it feels when we’re there. Right? We will never stay in unalignment, if that's a word, if we knew what it felt like when we’re in that other place. It is scary on the other side.

Ale: Yes, definitely. But also, another thing that changed a lot, is the way, I mean, I wasn't investing on myself before. I mean, I was but not in the way I am now. Because after making the decision of working with you, I started to invest in myself. I remember that I, probably two months later, I decided to hire a personal trainer, which is something I had been thinking about before, but I didn't.

I felt like I didn't deserve, unconsciously really, the investment for that. That I could do it on my own, you know. And then, I also started to pay for my facials and other things, that were huge for me; very, very significant. So, now how I see myself, in terms of investment, is completely different after that decision I made.

Jenna: I love it. I think it's so big because yeah, when you said, the first time, I'd never invested in that way before, but you'd invested in different coach trainings. Right? Or, I'm sure you've bought cars, and made house payments and things. Like, we do make big payments in our lives, but somehow it feels different when it's for us, like it’s for our betterment.

So, really, what it's about, is ‘I am worth it’. That was a decision point, when we were going to work together. You had to make the decision. Not only ‘I'm worth it’, but ‘I believe in myself’; this will pay off. Same with a personal trainer; you did this because this will pay off. I am going to go. I am going to get the results.

Ale: Yes, yeah, definitely. It’s actually the message, now that you say it, that ‘I am worth it’ is a message I am giving to myself constantly. And many times, I forget. But I know, yes, I am worth it. And, I love living by that. Then the other decision, the other big decision, is when I decided to leave my job.

I had been working in corporate for twenty-one years. I was thinking about quitting for months, but I finally decided last year. It was around this time, when I said, okay, I think I'm ready. So, that's when I decided to quit, and I for some reason, I decided to just hand in my resignation in January.

And when I did, I think it was right after we came back from holidays, when I handed in my resignation. The day after I told my boss, I signed a client. Which for me was like, okay, the Universe is telling me this is the path for you. It’s reassuring that this is the path for me. What we said earlier that, I mean, once you make the decision the Universe will provide. And, it was proof for that.

Jenna: Also, you, if we think about your power in the situation, you had been doing so much thought work and preparation beforehand. You'd been thinking about what this means for you; to leave this job, and why it's so important for you to make the decision, and how you do believe it's going to bring you, you are going to bring on clients, and how you are a coach.

And you'd been doing all of this work, so when you finally got to that place, right, of leaving, it was like you were finally unpinching the flow, you were finally allowing the abundance. And from that great energy of, I know clients are coming, a client came.

Ale: Yeah, and I knew I had to be in that place, because I liked my job, it’s not that I hated my job, that I was running away from it. I really liked it. I had a good pay, as well. But I knew that coaching was my passion. So, I just gave myself the time.

I was patient with myself, even when, sometimes I was a little bit frustrated. But I was patient with myself, in terms of taking the time I needed to be at the place emotionally and mentally where I was going to be okay with closing that chapter.

And when I did, I felt so good and I have not looked back. I don't have any regrets about leaving my job. And, I'm very grateful for it. I really, I think that's really how we all should close every chapter. Like, really being grateful for what it gave us and what we gave to it. But you definitely need to be in that space, which comes from making a decision in peace, I think.

Jenna: Oh good, good one; making a decision in peace. It’s true; arriving at that place of peace, that's when you know. We don't always get there with every decision. Right? Sometimes there's a little bit of a lag time to help us get there. And maybe a couple little more nudges, to help us really sink into it. But that's when you know it's landed, is when you're at that decision and in peace. Which is how you are now, about your Mexico clients; you’ve found your peace.

Ale: Yes, yes. Yes.

Jenna: I’m thinking, when you left your job, it wasn't just the clients. Do you remember, you got like that flood of recognition?

Ale: Yeah, I remember. Yes. It was beautiful. Because even when I had been working there for twenty-one years, and I have known people for that long, I have not received that much recognition from them. So, of course, I love being recognized. But I remember that I…

Jenna: You’re a projector.

Ale: Yes.

Jenna: Very important. Also, it was so hard for you to do for yourself. And that’s one of the things we've been working on. Whatever it is you're longing for or seeking, how are you giving it to yourself? You weren’t, remember? You were so hard on yourself. You did all of that work, Ale. You were working, you were giving yourself so much recognition, even though that felt so uncomfortable, and so wrong and different. Then, you got the feathers.

Ale: Yeah, yeah. So, it also says, like, the more you give to yourself, the more you're going to receive also, externally. But definitely, it's something that I know I look for constantly. And if I really want to get it, I know I have to create it for myself. So, even what they shared, I wrote it down because it's like a file that I go to, whenever I need to give this recognition to myself. It’s kind of my shortcut to create recognition towards myself. Like, I'm not looking for it externally, because now it's part of me. So, I use it to create that recognition for myself. Yes, I love it.

Jenna: I love it. Yes, whatever works. And it's something I encourage everyone to have, is just a swipe file like that, of testimonials, of kind things people have said, for when our brain leans towards its negativity bias.

Ale: Yes, yeah, definitely.

Jenna: Ale, I know that everyone is going to want a piece of this light, but unfortunately, they can't see you. But I know it transmits through the airwaves. And so, they'll also probably just want to see what you're doing on Instagram, right. All of this momentum there, and how you're creating your reels that people love so much. So, where can they find you?

Ale: Where I hang out the most, is on Instagram. I am @iam.alegarnica, that's how they can find me. And my website, which is, AleGarnica.com

Jenna: Great. We'll link to both of those in the notes. Definitely check her out. Is there anything else that you can think of, that you would like to say before we hop off?

Ale: No, I think we've said it all. I mean, just really, I mean decisions are very important. Decisions are… Sometimes it's very, very uncomfortable for us to make a decision. But just think about how much mental space, how much time you're gonna free, when you get to decide.

Just think, that if it doesn't work out, you can always change it. But give yourself the time to test it out. Make sure that it's really not working, so you don't have regrets later. And yeah, I mean, at the end, trust. Whenever you decide, life is going to provide for you to get the support you need, in that decision.

Jenna: Right. And then, I’d just add to that, the other thing that really opens for you is so much abundance. It's like the Universe is waiting for you to ground in to your decisions, your power, how you want things to be. And it's like; finally, she gets it. Here you go.

Ale: Yes. So beautiful.

Jenna: Thank you for coming on.

Ale: Thank you for having me, Jenna. It was so much fun.

Hey, if you enjoyed today’s show, you do not want to miss next week’s. Seriously. Follow the show wherever you listen to your podcast so you don’t miss an episode. And would you please, leave a super quick rating and review about this episode?

It’s how you’ll let me know what you liked and what you’re still curious about, so that I can create the most valuable content for you, going forward. As well as, you’ll help other highly driven, but slightly uncertain, entrepreneurs find this show, and get the tools they need. Thank you, so much.

Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity for Strategy for Growing and Scaling Your Business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.

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Ep #16: Business Minimalism and Why We Overwork

Episode Summary

Jenna explains the reason so many entrepreneurs are chronically overworking, and how business minimalism can stop this cycle.

Get clear on what you offer to whom and how to talk about it … plus actually believe it.  Join us in our Clarity Accelerator 60-day bootcamp by scheduling a call here.

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Show Notes

Something I see so often in entrepreneur circles is chronic overworking. If we have more time in the day, we believe it means we should do more things to fill it. We increase the quantity of our workload rather than the quality and we end up doing far more than we should be doing because we believe there is a correlation between doing more and gaining positive business outcomes. But doing more things doesn’t actually create results, so what does?

At its core, overwork is a product of believing you can control your business results through action. But in order to really create results, you have to divorce yourself mentally from the reliance on doing, and invite in space to play with the idea that results don’t come from doing more, but carrying out what you’re already doing better. You need to explore business minimalism: the art of doing more with less.

In this episode, I’m diving deeper into overworking and business minimalism, and showing you how to focus your efforts on improving the quality of your actions and mindset. Discover why minimalizing your business can help you take it to the next level, and how to do things that stretch you and help you grow while focusing on quality over quantity.

What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

• Where the need to do comes from.

• The kind of work you need to be focusing on frequently for maximum long-term results.

• Why a large amount of Instagram followers doesn’t equal success.

• A huge clarity gap for entrepreneurs at all income levels.

• Why all the marketing in the world won’t make up for a lack of messaging.

• How becoming a business minimalist requires vulnerability and a leap of faith.

• What really creates burnout.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

• If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.

• Click here to sign up for my newsletter and find out how the Connect The Dots Method has helped clients in all stages of their business.

• Follow me on Instagram for behind-the-scenes content and daily value bombs!

• Ep #13: Allowing Yourself to Receive

• Ep #6: How Entrepreneurship Made Me Woo

Full Episode Transcript:

Today, we'll be talking about overwork versus what I call business minimalism. It's the art of doing more with less. And it's a huge part of why you got into business in the first place. If you can allow yourself to really go there, it is what's going to take your business to the next level.

You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life, by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top ranked business coach and reformed overanalyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.

Hey, everyone, welcome back to The Uncommon Way. I'm settling back in from Italy. It's still such a mind bender that I can be on the beach one week with my family, carrying a bunch of beach towels. And then the next, be bundling up and going to a fall festival, carrying the pumpkin that my son has very definitively chosen.

It's amazing, of course, that we live in an age when this is possible. I've been thinking, when you can travel between two worlds, and that doesn't have to be two countries. I know some of you have one foot in your corporate world and another in the entrepreneurship world, for instance.

Isn't it just such a fantastic way to compare and contrast, and really challenge your assumptions, and the way you've been doing things and thinking about things? This is a huge part of why I travel, in the first place. I mean, I planned to work less when I was in Italy, as I've done in the past.

But I was really interested in how quickly my brain released the internal pressure of needing to be busy. Those are two separate things, right? The hours you work are one thing, and the pressure you feel to work, to be doing things, is another.

I was studying myself like; huh, what am I thinking, exactly, that's allowing me to do this? As I mentioned last week, I was working what many would consider to be an obscenely low amount of hours per week, and yet my business didn't suffer.

And, it's because of business minimalism. Which is when you're solely focused on the areas of greatest leverage in your business. And, that can only happen when you're willing to not satisfy the urge to work on a bunch of other things, too. And you'll only be willing to restrain yourself, when you trust that you don't have to do any more to create bigger results. You just have to do what you're doing better to create bigger results.

But before we go there, I want to give a shout out to some people I know are listening. One is a podcast listener, who told me that she goes back and listens to earlier episodes, two or even three times in order to get more out of them. And, I can completely relate to this and appreciate it.

Because I remember once, I was going to see a coach of mine, and I kind of wanted to brush up and I looked over my past notes. And there was something from a year ago, that was almost exactly what she was just telling me on a call. And so, it's like our brains can't fully receive it until we're ready to receive it.

And so, this is a practice that I've started doing with my own coaching; is really going back to refresh my brain and hear things, listen to calls, hear things, or see things, see my notes, several times, in order to absorb more than I would have the first time. So, I just really want to honor her for doing that, and really committing to getting the most out of this podcast that she can.

There's another woman I wanted to give a shout out to, who wrote me that beautiful note about my blog. I have a feeling it was the post on abstract thinkers. And she was really saying how she's just never felt seen before, never felt really understood. And has had such difficulty explaining to her friends and family, why she is the way she is, why she sees things the way she does. And she just felt so validated reading these posts about what an abstract thinker is.

I want to thank you for taking the time to write. In my response, I suggested you listen to this podcast. And so, I just wanted a chance to kind of say that, in person, that I really love hearing from you. And, it means the world to me that you would take the time to write.

And lastly, this podcast has started ranking in Sweden. Yeah, there are a few countries that we're ranking in already. And now, Sweden is a new addition. And so, I know that there's a person or some people in Sweden who are finding this valuable. Downloading the episodes, maybe sharing it with some of their friends. And I just want to say welcome, and I'm so glad to have you here.

Okay, let's get back to it and dive right in. Business minimalism is not the normal way of doing things. That's true for pretty much everyone in the U.S., but many other countries, too. We tend to pile on more and more and more. If I have more time in the day, that means I should do more things. Let's call it maximalism. But at its core, overwork is a product of you believing you can control your business results through doing.

You believe there's a correlation between doing more and positive business outcomes. Which is understandable, especially if you've grown up hearing; you can have anything you want, if you work hard enough. Most of our society still run on a factory mentality; I clock in, I clock out, and I get money for those hours. If I work for more hours, I earn more money.

We start thinking like, how much does that doctor, or lawyer make per hour? We're not always thinking about the overall result they bring, or the years of investing and honing their skill that now allow them to create those results. No, we're like; $500 per hour? That's crazy talk. Plus, we see these well-known business gurus with huge teams, that are churning out social media, webinars, free challenges, live events, etc., etc. And our brains figure, well, the more I approximate that behavior, the closer I'll get to that person’s success.

But nobody is paying you for the hours you work anymore. You know this logically. I know, you've heard it 1,000 times: If a dentist says it will take six months to do your root canal, you're not going to pay her more just because of all the hours she's putting into it. Right? You'll happily pay a premium to the dentist down the street, who can do it in one day.

And yet, we see so much chronic overwork in entrepreneur circles. It's like you're moving the vacuum around frantically, back, and forth, right? But it's not plugged in. Yes, you have the lines on the carpet to show for it. But that doesn't mean it's effective.

I know of someone who posts all the time on social. Responds to comments, engages with others, and has built up 40,000 Instagram followers. I know for a lot of you, you think that must equal success. But she makes no money; none. It's a classic case of, all the marketing in the world won't make up for a lack of messaging.

Now, you're probably thinking; okay, Jenna, if doing things doesn't create results, what actually does? This is a huge clarity gap for entrepreneurs, at all income levels. I see six and multi six-figure entrepreneurs frequently saying things like, “I'm not really sure what creates my results. I think that was just a fluke,” etc., etc.

Friends, this is of foremost importance in your business, you've got to be attuned to the levers in your business that create the most results. This is what I help my clients do. I help them find their own uncommon way. And, it changes everything.

Now, there are often overlaps among different people, right? I've touched on several important factors in past episodes, like, clarity about what you're offering and your people, for instance. That's a very important lever. And, I'll gladly do a future episode, just on the topic of what actually creates results. Because I want to help you plug your vacuum in, I really do. And then, I want to help you set up your Roomba.

The world changes, with the more women that do this. But what I really want you to take away from this episode, is that in order to really hear this discussion about what creates results, you first have to divorce yourself mentally from the reliance on doing. Or, at least invite, in a little bit of space to play with the idea that maybe results don't come from doing.

Don't get me wrong, I want you to do things in your business. I want you to do very challenging things that stretch you and help you grow, into exactly who you're here to be. But quality over quantity. When I say quality, it's both the quality of the actions you're taking, and the quality of your frame of mind. So, let's break those down.

Quality of actions means that you're focused on the things, and only the things, that truly move your business forward. Rather than spreading yourself thin, you're giving more to the few selected things. In the beginning of your business, you're solely concentrating on the steps required to prove your business is viable. And, that your language and assets will resonate with your people in the quickest and most effective way.

You won't be filling your time with all the low yield activities that most new entrepreneurs fill their time with. Like, creating a website when you're not even exactly sure who your people are, or what they think the problem and solution is, and what moves them towards a sale. Or, spending time scrolling social media, because that's what the algorithm likes. Or, listening to tons of webinars.

You know what you're focused on. Why you've chosen that. It makes sense. You're decided, and now you're executing it. So, you're not watching ten different webinars every day. Now, how you go about this can be different for everyone. Again, that's your uncommon way; your secret sauce.

If you don't have a feel for this yet, get support to get clear on it, stat. I've had clients that were big networkers, and their method was creating group offers, and doing things like running Facebook groups. I've had others who were really great in person, and tested language at networking events. I've had others that would invite people to free mini-offers, so that they can really have that one-to-one experience for a lengthy amount of time.

So many ways; there's no one right way to grow your business. The right way is the one that plays to your strengths. And later on in your business, you're still focusing on the few selected levers that create the most results. But your work now, lies in creating higher degrees of value and impact for your people. You must trust that your current portals or methods are enough. By portals, I mean, the places through which people can find you.

And, that's hard work. Trust is hard work. Becoming a business minimalist is scary work. It requires vulnerability. It requires a leap of faith. Believe me, I know. I've been doing a lot of this work myself for the last few years, so that I can now help my clients through it more easily. And, I know how hard it is to stop moving all the controls and pushing all the buttons.

Okay, okay, that's a fun image. It's like you're on one of those kids’ rides, where you put in the coin, and then it moves up and down. Dylan became obsessed with this Spiderman ride in Italy; I lost many, many euros to that thing.

But anyway, there's the airplane, and you're pushing all the buttons. But really, it's inserting the coin that makes the thing go up and down. All the other things are distractions that give you the illusion of control. But really, all it's doing is making you feel better to push them; oh, I push this button, and the plane moved up at the same time; dopamine hit, right?

That's not a perfect analogy, because I would never advocate for anyone to just sit there and let the plane move up and down. But relinquish the superfluous stuff, just let it go. I know of many coaches that have seven-figure businesses, purely through referral business and their own networking.

There's my mentor, Brooke Castillo; she has a $40 million business, and until this year, wasn't on social media. She created that through her podcast and Facebook ads. My own multiple six-figure business comes through a few different places where I'm featured.

With all of the above, the people are working less than 40-hour workweeks. And, that is the power of clear focus. It's also a product of really knowing yourself, knowing your people, and learning to speak to how those two connect, of course. It's creating assets that work in the world, on my behalf. So, I don't have to hustle to get clients, they come to me.

Now, I thought I'd just share with you some of my thoughts that I identified, while I was in Italy. So, you can try them on and apply them to wherever you are in business if they're a fit.

One was it will get done. This was my absolute favorite. I could compare that to some thoughts that I have here, sometimes. Where I'm thinking; there's not enough time to get everything done. And in Italy, I was thinking; it'll get done. I love it.

There was another, where I said, “If it's important enough, I'll get to it later.” So, that was showing me I trust my mind not to forget it. And I trust my mind to be able to sit with something, and then have that discernment to decide if it really is important enough, later.

If it's meant for me, it won't pass me by. Again, there's that trust, right? I don't have to worry about jumping on this offer or launching this new initiative, right now, because otherwise I'll lose that opportunity. For instance, I'm thinking of, maybe a person that markets with scarcity. And they say that right now, is this great offer, this discount, or this opportunity. And ,I could hire them, right now.

Again, if it's meant for me, it won't pass me by. I can still take advantage of this when it feels aligned.

And then, this one will be really big for a lot of you; There are plenty of people within my current pool. I can reach my goals within my current pool. So, of the areas, of the portals, I have where people can reach me, there are enough people there for me to reach my goals. Like, I was talking to a client the other day who was going to be doing some market research, and she was concerned about whether she should be talking to her network or going into Facebook groups, or you know, trying all different angles.

We broke down the numbers and she had twenty people that she tended to message, just within a very close networking group, and I know, they all know twenty people, right? And so, maybe you're looking for three people to speak to, to interview. And you've got to remind your brain that it's very possible, and very likely, that it will be the easiest solution of all. You'll just send out a note to your friends, and all you need is three people.

So, there's plenty of people within my current pool to reach my goals. Therefore, I don't need to add anything extra to my business. The only question is if I want to add something extra at an appropriate time. And, I'm not alone in this.

Now, this is something I personally believe, that the Universe wants to bring my clients and I into contact. The universe will help them find their way to me. Like, I had a client who happened to pull out a t-shirt from a conference from five years ago. It said, an uncommon way of living, or an uncommon way of life, or something. And she just had the random thought, “Oh, that would be a great name for a business.”

She googled and found me, right? So, there was no way I could have made that happen through effort. Okay, well, I shouldn't say no way. Maybe I could have created the top viewed Superbowl ad or something, and she would have seen it. But she wasn't even looking for a business coach until she read my site.

So anyway, that is always powerful for me to remember; that I'm not alone in this. And, that what I'm searching for, is searching for me, too. What I want, wants me, too. It really allows you to relinquish a lot of the nervous energy that drives you to do this in the first place. And, we'll talk about that in a minute.

But bottom line, you can work smarter, without working harder, and create even bigger results. Bottom line, you can work smarter, without working harder, and create even bigger results. All right, that was quality of actions.

Let's talk about quality of your mindset. The need to do, do, do, is always driven by some form of discontent. But discontent is the emotion you feel when you're asking for more than you're letting in. I'll say that again. Discontent is the emotion you feel when you're asking for more than you're letting in.

You might want to go back and re-listen to the episode on allowing yourself to receive, in order to fully understand what I'm saying there. But when you're tapped in, when you're really in alignment, things are unfolding steadily. You may not have the exact result you want yet, but it's coming.

There's so much happening, so much unfolding, that you don't have space for discontent. There's too much gratitude, and excitement, and anticipation. But when you're asking for more than you're letting in, there's not enough action in the world to compensate for that misalignment.

Again, think of pinching the flow. I talked about that in the receiving episode. You're saying, “I want a million dollars. Where's my million dollars? A million dollars isn't happening fast enough.” But there's a million dollars right on the other side of that hose. You're the one who's pinching the hose.

It's like the clients are definitely there, but we're effectively blocking that sale. We aren't able to tap into our creativity. We aren't showing up as our most grounded self, or we're missing opportunities. Or, maybe we see the opportunity, but we're like; I just don't have the bandwidth for that.

Patience is what you need when you aren't tapped in. Believe me, I know about this. I'm an MG (Manifesting Generator), for those of you that are familiar with human design. We want everything to move fast, fast, fast. And, I'm intimate with the frustration that comes from impatience. But we can catch ourselves when it's happening, right? We all have this ability.

Let's talk about that ‘aligned’ word, let's break that down. When I say ‘alignment,’ I mean a few things. One, there's integrity between what you're preaching and how you're living. That you're actually using the tools you're talking about and are a product of those tools. Big one.

I also mean that you're aligned with who you are. You're following your true north, your uncommon way, your design. And I mean that you are rested, and well-nourished, and have a balanced nervous system. And then again, you're not pinching the flow.

If you're asking for a six-figure or a seven-figure business, but deep down, you're thinking; I don't really want that many clients, because I won't be able to deliver for them all. And then, they'll hate me, and I'll feel awful. Then, you're not in alignment.

Or, if you're thinking; I don't really want that big of a business, because then I'll have to work too much, and I don't want to burn out. You're not in alignment. Your internal world is not aligned with what you're asking for. And, it's okay. None of us are perfect with this, in every way, at every moment.

But having this knowledge helps expose us to where we're not in alignment. Where we're not aligned with our higher self, our highest potential. And we're grateful to have that exposed, so that we can heal it, so we can work on it and grow.

We're not beating ourselves up. We are where we are, for 1,000 very understandable reasons. It's all good. And thankfully, we're seeing where our areas of growth are. You exposing an area of growth doesn't mean you're doing it wrong. It means you're doing it right. It means things are happening for you. Change is unfolding right in front of your eyes, shift is happening.

When you can start moving away from this whole, why isn't it working? type of energy, you will start to see your world transform. I have a client who has really dived into this work. And now, she has more clients than ever. She's booking more sales calls than she cand believe. Her Instagram has exploded. And she's doing all this inspired work, and gets 1,000s of views and really good engagement.

Much better than really well-known coaches with huge followings, by the way. Her clients come to her when she's staying out of her head. Out of her doubt. When she's riding the wave.

I have another client with a product-based business, who uses Facebook ads. And when she is in an aligned place, her revenue increases. When she's not, it declines. And, these are “set it and forget it” ads she's got going.

In the episode that's called How Entrepreneurship Made Me Woo, I talk about my own journey through this. I don't change my copy and yet, the clients coming to me change. Maybe this is correlated rather than casual, all the things I just mentioned, right? Maybe this is all chance or confirmation bias. I'll let you make your own decisions about that.

But for me, and many of my clients, we believe our alignment and whatever we're working on in our growth at that moment, plays a huge part in our business results. And the work of this alignment, is work. And that's the kind of work you need to be focusing on frequently, for maximum long-term results. Rather than filling your time with all the frantic busyness. A little bit of balance, please. And focused, intentional effort.

This is business minimalism, focusing on what really matters. Your efforts are going into the quality of your actions and the quality of your mindset.

And before we wrap, I just want to say that we don't do any of this because we're afraid of working long hours, or afraid of burning out. You never want to be resisting something, to be moving away from something; you want to be moving towards something.

We don't need to be scared of working long hours, because it's not the long hours that create burnout, it's the mind that creates burnout. When you're in flow, when you're in alignment, it can be hard to stop yourself from working because you're so loving what you're doing.

So, for those of you who are under working, and I meet some of you sometimes too. You're under working and not moving your business forward effectively, because you're so worried about overworking and burning out. Probably because you've done that in the past.

Obviously, if you knew how good it feels to be in alignment, you wouldn't be afraid, you'd be doing more of it. You'd be trusting yourself to balance the alignment side with the productive action side. The reason we purposely choose to work fewer hours isn't to avoid work, it's so that we have full multi-dimensional lives.

And so, that we give our nervous systems a chance to rest, in order to do the big scary things that really move us forward. But challenge us emotionally because we have human brains. Not things that require time necessarily, but things that require cha-chas. For you, that might be telling old colleagues that you're now a coach. Totally activates your nervous system. Or, it might be holding a live event.

And we also choose to work fewer hours in our business, so that we can be working on ourselves. On the alignment pieces that fuel our business in so many ways. Alignment really is the assignment.

Okay, my friends. That’s it for today. Remember, deep down, you know who you are, and what your strengths are. And, each day you're moving forward into what you are here to create.

Hey, if you enjoyed today’s show, you do not want to miss next week’s. Seriously. Follow the show wherever you listen to your podcast, so you don’t miss an episode. And would you please, leave a super quick rating and review about this episode?

It’s how you’ll let me know what you liked and what you’re still curious about, so that I can create the most valuable content for you, going forward. As well as, you’ll help other highly driven, but slightly uncertain, entrepreneurs find this show, and get the tools they need. Thank you, so much.

Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity for Strategy for Growing and Scaling Your Business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.

Enjoy the Show?

Don’t miss an episode, follow the podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or Stitcher.

Ep #15: Learning to Diagnose Your Client's Problem

Episode Summary

Jenna shares the reason you’re not actually converting clients even though you’re doing all the things you’re supposed to do, and how to start turning interest into sales.

Get clear on what you offer to whom and how to talk about it … plus actually believe it.  Join us in our Clarity Accelerator 60-day bootcamp by scheduling a call here.

Enjoy the show? Leave a review to help other likeminded entrepreneurs gain clarity in their businesses.

Show Notes

Why can’t my clients get out of their own way and see how much they need my help? Why can’t they put their fears and scarcity and excuses aside? Why are they signing up for my webinar but not to work with me? These frustrations are examples of one of the biggest clarity gaps that trouble all entrepreneurs at one point or another. You're doing all the things you’re supposed to do, putting out tons of value, but not actually converting clients. So what gives?

When you lack the skill of properly moving a prospective client through to a sale, you start to become resentful towards your audience. You feel like you are giving everything, and they are taking it, and you don’t know what the next step is. But developing the skill of diagnosing your client’s problem can do wonders for your business, and I’m showing you what that entails this week.

Your prospective clients want all the results, and they want them now. But giving them everything all at once isn’t productive for your business nor does it actually help them, and in this episode, I’m explaining why. Discover why you need to learn to diagnose the problem your clients are having, what that actually means, and how developing this skill will help you turn interest into sales and completely transform your business.

What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

• Why you need to be willing to not give everything away to your clients.

• How to develop the skill of diagnosing your client’s needs and why doing so will help you transform your business.

• Why people don’t need accountability from you and what they really need instead.

• How you could be holding yourself back from creating the revenue you’re capable of.

• Why you can’t impact your people with free content the way you can by coaching them.

• The reason it feels so hard for you to not give everything away, even though you know it isn’t serving your clients.

• Why you aren’t helping your clients by giving them all the information upfront.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

• Want to work with me? Click here to find out how!

• Click here to sign up for my newsletter and find out how the Connect The Dots Method has helped clients in all stages of their business.

• Follow me on Instagram for behind-the-scenes content and daily value bombs!

• Ep #14: The #1 Skill for Entrepreneurship

Full Episode Transcript:

Let's talk about one of the biggest clarity gaps that troubles all entrepreneurs, at one point or another. “I'm doing all these things I'm supposed to do, I’m putting out tons of value, but I'm not actually converting clients in the way I'd like.” More often than not, especially for newer entrepreneurs, when I take a look at their messaging, it's clear to me that they could improve their skill of diagnosing the problem. So, let's start closing that gap for you right now.

You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life, by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top ranked business coach and reformed overanalyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.

Hey, welcome back to the Uncommon Way. I am now back home in Pennsylvania. It's about a 30-degree temperature difference, but beautiful fall weather. When we get home, we always play this game of how long can we maintain our Italy mindset. With, like I talked about last week, that absence of micro stressors.

So, we do things like have wine and cheese nights with, you know, wine that we brought back. And we promised to watch each other and work as a team, right? We're both high performers, and we tend to get wrapped up really quickly in the doing, doing, doing.

But there's one thing I do not want to maintain from the Italy experience, and that is my son's behavior. So, he goes into serious regressions whenever we travel, or basically anytime there's a big change in his life. And even at home, it's not exactly a cakewalk with this human. He has very strong leadership skills, shall we say? Or, he will one day, but at least there's some level of cooperation.

But when we travel, we started referring to him as “the pissed off più piccolo,” which is not grammatically correct, but it basically means, the pissed off very small one; angry about everything. And at one point, we had five adults tag teaming to manage this one little four-year-old, and keep ourselves sane and not absolutely lose it. I'm proud to say we made it through pretty well.

The reason we have some of these management tools is because I hired a parenting coach a couple of years ago, to help me with this. Now, the way we came to work together is such a great lesson, that I want to use it as a basis for this episode. Because if my coach hadn't spoken with me the way she did, I might not have gotten the help.

Or, I would have delayed getting the help, to the detriment of my family and my son's early conditioning. And when you lack the skill of properly moving a prospective client through to a sale, that's when you start becoming resentful of your audience. You start feeling like you're giving, giving, giving and they're just taking.

Or, you look down on them; why can't they get out of their way and see how much they need this help? Why can't they put their fears, and scarcity, and excuses aside? It's when you put out webinars with nobody signing up for a call. It's when you finish a sales call only to hear; oh, I need to think about it. Or, I'm just going to try it on my own for a while. This was great, thank you. Or, even worse, when they say yes, but then don't follow through.

But before I go into what you'll need to do to reverse that, I want to highlight one of our listeners. This is from Blue Azalea. It says, “Great content. Really helpful and insightful. It made me look at my business in a different way. Look forward to your next episode.” I love that.

And, I want to thank all of you for your interest in the Clarity Accelerator. I've been receiving lots of notes about that. And we have been welcoming in new clients, which we're really excited about. If you want to make this happen for yourself, to really start off 2023 with this level of clarity in your business, all you need to do is go to the link in the show notes, where you can schedule a call.

We'll talk about whether this is right for you and your business, right now. And, whether or not the specific tools that we teach will maximize your growth at this level. As I tell everybody that hops on a call with me, I am very clear that I am great at helping a very specific person build a specific type of business. If you're not that, I will definitely direct you to someone that I think can help you.

Because I would never want to invite anybody in that I didn't believe was going to get the results, and I am willing to commit to those results with you, because I know that this process works. So, when you're ready, I would love to talk. I can't wait to help you transform your business. If there's one thing I'd like to accomplish, it's that we radically shift how we think about this thing that we're doing.

I want to bring you all into a place of power and knowingness, which leads perfectly back into what needs to happen to turn interest into sales. And, it's pretty simple. You just need to learn to diagnose the problem your clients are having.

What does that mean to diagnose? Well, it's like when you go into a doctor's office. You present all of your symptoms, and then they take all of their experience and knowledge, and filter through what you're saying, to come up with a diagnosis; they tell you exactly what's happening. They do not dive in right away to giving you the whole protocol beforehand.

Imagine if a doctor did that, and you didn't even know why? You were just being told what to do. How overwhelming and disconcerting that would be. And, what are the chances you'd actually remember all of it? It's the same with coaching, you need to be able to get to the real problem or problems for your clients.

They're going to come to you with this big brain dump of all the things going wrong. But their perspective is inherently skewed by their perception, by their stories. You are the objective expert, and they can't see what you can see. When you can say, it's okay, I see exactly what's going on. It's just X. I see this every day, here's what we're going to do. And then, here's how things will change for you.

Basically, here's the real problem, and here's the solution. When you can diagnose in this way, there is nothing more powerful. I have clients come to me that say, “But I've done this famous sales course. I have the sales script or sales framework; the selling is not the problem.”

I want to see their conversion rates, and I want to see their messaging. Because there is no generic script that can do this for your particular people. It'll end up feeling hollow and scripted for your people. It's just like how you can work with the best copywriter, the best ads expert, but the results will fall short because they can never know your people like you do.

Now, if you've done the work of knowing your people, which, right, is the second part of the three-part success formula, I teach in the Clarity Accelerator. Part one is, know yourself. Part two is, know your people. And part three is, speak to how the two connect. Then, they'll be able to take that and do their magic.

Just like when you can take that knowledge and apply it to your sales framework, your sales framework comes alive and you start converting at rates you can only dream about, 90%, 100%. As long as the people are your ideal clients. Because this sales psychology of your specific people, is something that you need to know. It's something I work on personally with each of my clients.

So, in part three of the system, which is module nine of the Clarity Accelerator, it's called Selling It. And of course, it includes a sales framework that I recommend, the same one I've used to create a 90% conversion rate with my ideal clients. But then, you and I hop on a call and we work together to personalize it to your clients. Based on the work you've already done in the earlier modules.

We design your personal sales strategy, which yes, you'll use in your sales calls, but also in your content, and all your conversations with people. So, that you can feel confident and at ease when you hop on a sales call. Knowing that your ideal people will resonate with this.

Kind of like when I speak with a Clarity person who's telling me about all the different ideas they've come up with, and how they've talked themselves out of each one. And I say, “Oh, you haven't learned to connect the dots of your life. Because your thing has been showing up for you, again and again. It's just you're too close to it, and too in your head to see it.”

My right people, they know right away; they feel that truth in their bones. All that's left is for me to show them how we're going to do it. How we're going to connect their dots. And those that don't feel it, not my people. And, that's okay. There are plenty more where that came from.

I wouldn't have wanted to speak anything other than my truth in order to hook that sale. It's not worth it. We're just queuing up a very difficult coaching relationship. But imagine having this figured out for yourself, and really believing that if they don't resonate, they're not your people, and that's okay. Rather than crying into your soup about how this proves you're not enoughness.

We've all been there. And listen up, this is important: In order to do this, you've got to be willing to not give everything away. You aren't giving the protocol and prescribing the drugs, remember; you are diagnosing. And this is so hard for so many of my clients, sometimes years into their businesses.

Even for my physician clients that do this in their day job. Why? You guessed it, it's about mindset. As women, we feel compelled to give, give, give. Why? Well, in part, because we want to be loved. We want approval. I was talking to a woman the other day, who told me she needed accountability to just get the things done.

She was berating herself for how she does this for so many others, she always shows up for her clients, and she could even remember back in college, like, she always showed up for her sports team. But when it comes to her own business, she's not showing up for herself. But I could see that what was going on was a form of people-pleasing. That that drive not to let people down was strong enough to spur her into action.

And I remembered that she had admitted that one of the things that held her back putting out her own content, was worrying about what other people would think, specifically what other creatives would think. Because she was a creative herself, and she was worried about being judged. I could see that this was all connected, right?

Her same need to please others, like her clients are her sports team, was connected to her need to please these people on social media, or her peers, or contemporaries, and look good in their eyes. People never need accountability, in my experience; they need belief.

There's something there, there's some fear, there's some disbelief, that's keeping them from moving forward. And that's what I was able to diagnose for her on that call. And it makes sense, we've been taught to cater to what everyone wants. And of course, your clients want all the solutions, like yesterday, or your prospective clients, your audience, right?

That's human nature. Do you want the person who says, “I'll teach you mastery in 30 years?” No, we want the magic pill; give me the magic pill. Like my mentor, Brooke, says, “Everyone wants to be a millionaire. Nobody wants to make a million dollars.”

So, you've got this inclination to please. Remember, all your female ancestors survived and procreated because they were excellent people-pleasers, and they’ve passed it all down to you. You've got all that coming up against the very strong wants of your prospective clients. You can feel how much they need this help; how can you not help them in their time of need?

If you don't help, then not only do you have the cognitive dissonance of going against your biology and conditioning, but you're also getting triggered. Thinking that maybe you're becoming what you don't want to be; I don't want to be cold-hearted and calculating. I don't want to be salesy. I don't want to look bad or be judged.

And part of that might be, I don't want to be perceived as an amateur. Maybe, deep down you don't feel like an expert, you feel like an imposter. But you want them to see you as an expert. So, you overcompensate by throwing out all of these things that you know. That old programming ends up driving really counterproductive behavior.

We put out tons of content without calls to action. We hear people saying, that was so helpful, but never moving forward to work together. We solve their problem and give them all the steps on the sales call, or in the Q&A of the webinar, only to hear them say, “Thanks. I'm gonna go try it, and I'll get back to you.”

All of this not only keeps us from the revenue we're capable of creating, and all of the good that that's going to facilitate for ourselves, our families, and our communities. But it also keeps us from the impact; our impact doesn't reach its full potential. Because you cannot impact someone with free content, the way you can by coaching with them, or working on their branding with them, or whatever you do.

You can't. I don't care how powerful your free stuff is. So, what do we do? How do we create change, when it feels so hard not to give everything away? But we know that's really not serving us, or our people, ultimately.

Well, you've got to believe two things. Number one, the diagnosis itself, is a gift. It's insanely valuable and life changing. Therefore, this is already a more than fair exchange. And number two, the transformation happens after the transaction.

So, let's talk about number one; the diagnosis is a gift. This doesn't mean you can't ever give away actual steps. I do it here all the time, right. Don't use this to create black-and-white rules for yourself. Just open yourself to how valuable the diagnosis is. And then, you won't feel so compelled to keep going on and on after that.

Now that might be a stretch for you, right? How could the diagnosis be valuable? You can't really do anything with it. Well, remember at the very beginning I talked about my parenting coach? Now, I want to tell you our story. At the time, we were just coming out of the pandemic. And my baby, Dylan, was a COVID baby, he didn't interact with other children.

I think there were maybe two months of preschool that we started for him before everything shut down. And then, we had to pull him right out. And so, when things started to open up again, we, of course, wanted to take him to the playground, have him, you know, get to know other kids. He would see children walking down the street, and he would say very, very loudly with no filter, “Oh, no, not kids.”

He just had no idea how to interact with children. And, he just has no filter. He just says whatever he thinks, and so he was able to carry on conversations with adults, no problem. But we were really worried about him, like, how is he going to be in school? Is he just going to be this loner and, right? All the catastrophizing, all the possibilities of what could go wrong.

I had tried several different things. But they didn't seem to work, and the thought in my head was you don't know Dylan. So, all these books, all these experts out there, saying how things should be done, and I'm like; yeah, yeah, but you don't know Dylan.

When I talked to this parenting coach, who we just randomly met through another group, when I talked to her about it, first of all, she was able to empathize and say, “Oh, I know. I remember my husband and I just saying, ‘We wish someone had given us a manual for our specific child.’” So, right there, I felt that resonance.

But when I described the situation to her, do you know what she said to me? She said, “Oh, he just hasn't learned the skill of entering play.” Friends, it's hard for me to describe, even now I get shivers thinking about this. I was at a point where I was wondering if there was something seriously wrong with my child. If he was going to be scarred in some way.

And then, I have someone come along that tells me, “It's just this thing he hasn't learned yet, that he's definitely going to learn. And, we can teach him. And, we can expedite that process. And, it's not a problem.” For a scared mom to hear those words… Everything shifted in my life, everything became doable. My son's life, I saw it going down a completely different path. And, I was so relieved and so hopeful. And, I felt so much trust in that moment.

So now, if anyone tells me, “Jenna, I feel bad about diagnosing, rather than solving the problem,” I tell them this story. And I say, “Look, if she tried to give me all the steps, then and there, I'm sure I would have forgotten some of them, right? And I probably would have thought, ‘problem solved. And I should try this on my own first.’”

I would have misapplied some of the things, or not had the support through all of them. I wouldn't have seen those results, and I would have externalized that and thought that the method didn't work for my son. We think we're being more helpful by giving all the steps. But what if that's not true?

My coach did one thing, she transformed this from a character issue, which is difficult to solve for, to a skill set that could be learned: basically, a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. And in that diagnosis, she not only gave me amazing relief in that moment, but she helped me take the step that I needed to take, to committing to working with a coach.

What if your clients just need to see their problem in a new light? Maybe one to three main things, that when addressed, will solve their problem. Using your secret sauce or methodology will solve their problem. Thinking through how to solve their problem is something that actually has come easily to me, right?

Maybe it's a product of growing up in the military and moving, so you have to assimilate and therefore read people really quickly, and see what's really driving them. Or, maybe I'm just a born strategist, I don't know. Whatever it is, I love using this skill, with integrity of course, in service of helping people towards truly bettering their lives. And I love helping my clients do the same, and I loved it when it was happening to me.

Okay, number two, you've got to believe that the transformation happens after the transaction. Really, really believe this. Because notice how I just said we were using all this diagnosing and psychology for the benefit of our clients.

If you don't believe that, you'll feel bad about doing this. You'll feel like this is salesy, or manipulative, or for your own benefit. Rather than believing you're acting out of pure empathy and altruism, on behalf of your very capable, but very human client's highest self.

And listen, I might be wrong about this, only you can decide for yourself, but for the next few minutes, I invite you to just try on this thought; that the transaction actually precedes the transformation. That there's something special that happens when a human is willing to commit with their money, time, and effort, to creating a change.

It's a signal to their brains, and I'd argue, it's a signal to the Universe. Freud believed it, he refused to treat people that weren't willing to pay some kind of a fee. Now, I do believe that people can create change without paying a coach, of course. They can get in shape without paying a personal trainer, but their level of commitment, and the ease and timeframe it takes, will be affected.

And if you truly believe that you don't want your people to be in that pain, even a moment longer than they need to be, then you need to become really interested in this. Do you know how many copies of Daring Greatly have been sold? Yeah, Brené Brown. Over 2 million. Do you know how many of those people are still not daring greatly?

I'm not saying that isn’t incredibly valuable and impactful, that book. I do believe it helped people think differently, and helped some people take their first steps. And maybe a few people even blow their own minds. But if those 2 million people had worked with a coach, call me an idealist, but I believe the world would be a different place.

No, fuck that; I know the world would be a different place. Whatever transformation you're helping people with, they want it and there are people that want to pay you for it. And it really helps to believe that your people want to pay you money. What? Yes! Most of my people tell me thank you so much. I can't wait to get started.

They're thanking me for letting them pay me to expedite and aid this result that they want. They're happy to trade money. What is money, right? They're happy to trade money for time. And I was grateful to pay my parenting coach.

Oh, my God, you mean I don't have to read 100 parenting books with conflicting philosophies, and try to discern which one's best? Or, interview 100 coaches? I can just work with you, someone I trust? You've done all that work for me, you've cherry-picked the best of everything, and will walk me through it and help me apply it.

And if I get stuck, I have support. Meaning, I won't just give up, I'll actually get to my results. Thank you. And now that I've committed with money, you bet I'm going to show up to the calls each week, and do my homework between. Like, this is happening.

This is likely how your ideal clients think, too. And if so, don't waste time talking to the others. Speak to them with this clarity of belief, of these two things; the diagnosis itself is a gift. And, the transformation happens after the transaction. It's what allows you to show up like you're the answer to their prayers. Because you are.

My parenting coach was, for me. And when you show up that way, it's easy for your people to step into trust. I've figured this all out, so you don't have to go through all that. I can see the real problem, and there's a simple solution. I got you. You're welcome. Try on some of that energy and watch your business transform.

Okay, friends, that's it for the day. And remember, on a certain level, you know who you are. And each day, you're just stepping further into what you're here to create.

Hey, if you enjoyed today’s show, you do not want to miss next week’s. Seriously. Follow the show wherever you listen to your podcast so you don’t miss an episode. And would you please, leave a super quick rating and review about this episode?

It’s how you’ll let me know what you liked and what you’re still curious about, so that I can create the most valuable content for you, going forward. As well as you’ll help other highly driven but slightly uncertain entrepreneurs find this show, and get the tools they need. Thank you, so much.

Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity for Strategy for Growing and Scaling Your Business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.

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Ep #14: The #1 Skill for Entrepreneurship

Episode Summary

Jenna shares one of the most important skills an entrepreneur can have in their business, and how to use this skill to transform your business, and create dramatic results in all areas of your life.

Get clear on what you offer to whom and how to talk about it … plus actually believe it.  Join us in our Clarity Accelerator 60-day bootcamp by scheduling a call here.

Enjoy the show? Leave a review to help other likeminded entrepreneurs gain clarity in their businesses.

Show Notes

It is amazing the lengths that we humans go to in order to avoid our emotions. Our brain’s default setting is to avoid feeling discomfort, meaning we aren’t often willing to feel what we perceive to be negative emotions. But this is one of the most important skills you can develop as an entrepreneur, and once you learn to acknowledge and feel your emotions – even when they hurt – you will notice the difference it makes in your business and life.  

If you are ready to transform your business, you don’t want to miss this episode. What I’m teaching you this week has nothing to do with tactics or drive, yet it will open you up to the keys that will make the biggest difference and create the most dramatic results for you in all areas of your life.

Join me this week as I’m teaching you what to do with negative emotions and how to transform feelings like hurt or stress into something more useful, productive, and helpful. I’m sharing some tools to help you transform your negative emotions into wisdom, and showing you how this work will make you so much more resilient and less self-sabotaging in the long run.

What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

• Why emotions and sensations do so much more damage when you avoid them.

• The reason this work can be so difficult at first.

• Some questions to ask yourself to help you start acknowledging your emotions.

• Why so many people are unwilling to do this work.

• What is happening with your emotions when you don’t pay attention to them.

• The problem with resisting your emotions.

• Why developing this skill is so crucial in your business.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

• Want to work with me? Click here to find out how!

• Click here to sign up for my newsletter and find out how the Connect The Dots Method has helped clients in all stages of their business.

• Follow me on Instagram for behind-the-scenes content from my trip to Italy as well as my daily value bombs!

Full Episode Transcript:

The number one skill for entrepreneurship and building your business has nothing to do with tactics or drive. It's definitely not sexy. But it's what will open you up to the keys that make the biggest difference, create the most dramatic results in your business. But you've gotta go through a little bit of fire to get there. It's what most of the world won't do. And yet, you can do it from the comfort of your sofa in just 60 seconds. Stick around.

You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life, by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top ranked business coach and reformed overanalyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.

Welcome back to The Uncommon Way. This is my last week in Italy. After delayed flights, and being denied a rental car, even though we were hours away from our house. Driving down one lane roads in pitch dark night, only to find out that all of the stores and restaurants had closed already, and not being able to eat.

Waking up to an ant infestation. And then, continued days with food scarcity and no showers. Wind so high that the national weather service was issuing alerts about it; then, finally flew in. And then, we had about nine days of rain.

But now, my brother and sister-in-law have come from Texas, and they brought the sun and the warm weather to us. So, this last, oh, I don't know, 10 days, maybe week, has been so joyous. We have rented a boat, and sailed around hidden coves of water so blue that it looks like a snow cone or something; it looks so fake and yet it’s real. Fresh seafood lunches right on the beach, with our toes in the sand, was great.

We were talking to my sister-in-law, who has never been out of the U.S. And, we were talking about how different it is here. Like, you can sit down at a table, you order your meal, and then the waiters just disappear. They're not bringing the check to you and expecting to turn over the table for the next, you know, group coming in.

And, she described it as an absence of micro stressors. Back in the States, there are all of these little stressors; things that need to be done, or people that are upset because you're staying at the table too long. And there's so many other things; you have to think about tipping, how much to tip, is this person worthy of a tip, right? And here, we don't even tip.

And there are so many of these things throughout the day that just create such a laid-back experience, and such a different amount of stress in our lives. That conversation, combined with the horrific shooting in Thailand, has me wanting to talk about what to do when things hurt. What to do with those negative emotions, and how to transform hurt or stress into wisdom.

This may be the number one skill for entrepreneurship; it will change everything in your business and life. And this is really what so much of the world doesn't know how to do, or is not willing to do. To me, this really is the secret to world peace. Because you can't insulate yourself from negative emotions.

Whether those are the small micro stressors that eventually build up to the pot boiling over, or it's those big volcano emotions like a major disappointment, we think we can insulate ourselves, right? This is what the brain does. The brain says, when I have the business, for instance, when I have this amount of money in the bank, then I'll feel financially secure.

We think we can insulate ourselves from ever feeling disappointed, but we're always carrying around a human brain. The human brain is always creating meaning. And the human brain has a natural negativity bias. So, this is something that we consciously have to counteract, if we want to live a life that is not as painful as would naturally be.

Our brains say, if I do this or accomplish this thing, whatever it is, then I'll feel satisfied, for instance, and can be a calmer person, right? Notice that sequence that our brain sees as a do or accomplish, and then feel, and then be.

Another variation is, have-do-be, right? If I have an audience that loves me, I will do more Instagram® lives, and I will be more confident. But it's always the other way around. It's always; when I'm feeling confident, I do more lives, and I create an audience that loves me.

And it's so amazing, because really, if you follow the trail of breadcrumbs for anything of what people most want, or what they most want to avoid, it always comes down to a feeling.

Like, sometimes I'll have a client who is really afraid, and I'll say, “What are you most afraid of?” And it's that, “My business won't work and I'll be penniless.” Okay, then what? What will happen, then? “Well, maybe then I'll have to move back in with my parents, or ask them for a loan.”

Okay, and what would happen then, right? What's the consequence of that? “Oh my gosh, I would feel like such a failure. I would feel so ashamed having to ask them.” So, you see? It all comes down to a feeling. And it is amazing what lengths we humans go to, to avoid a feeling, avoid an emotion.

I have a mentor, Brooke Castillo, who uses this example of Martians coming down to the planet, and being like; oh, wow, what are these feeling things? What are these emotions, right? Is it like, you know, you form boils on your skin? And then, it just peels off your face as if you're on fire?

And you're like; no, it just feels more kind of like a pressure in your chest. They’ll be like, that's it? That's it, and yet, you go through all of these lengths to avoid that? Because what is an emotion, really? It’s a sensation, right? It's a vibration passing through your body. And if you fully allow that sensation, they don't even last that long, which is the crazy part.

They last so much longer, they do so much more damage, when you resist them or avoid them. And I still catch myself, right? There is not a single one of you listening that's; like, oh, I don't do that. Or, I'm above that. I've learned that. No, no, no. Because you're human, right? And the brain, your brain, knows you better than anyone. And, your brain can take you out of the consciousness of what it's doing behind the scenes.

I catch myself in this all the time, right? I'll go a whole day, not thinking about something, right? Like, I don't want to think about it. Or, looking on the bright side. Or, something that seems so helpful, until I realize this is not helpful. This is not helpful, at all.

And, how many actions do you take from that place? Do you take from that place of avoiding that emotion or not thinking about it, but it's still there, right? And, it's driving all of your actions.

So, maybe you're feeling devastated, but you're not really dealing with that emotion. And so, you're moving into inaction, right? Your body just shuts down. You have this collapsing energy; I just can't do anything. Like, I'm just too… I need to watch the news, right?

Or, you're feeling rejected, maybe by your audience. And so, your language switches to this convincing energy or this kind of chastising energy, like; why don't you wake up and see what you need to do? And that doesn't create the results you want. That doesn't bring on any new clients.

Or, maybe you're feeling ashamed because you think that the actions you're taking or need to take, or your coach is telling you to take, will make you be perceived as salesy. So, what do you do? You don't follow up with that client, right? Or, you avoid sales calls, because the truth is, you don't want to have clients, or you don't want to have sales calls.

This is why improving this skill, of dealing with things when they hurt, when they feel uncomfortable, is so necessary. In the Clarity Accelerator, right during the modules, where we first start interacting with people and we start selling something, that's when this comes up. So, that's when we have this training on emotional maturity.

I have my clients start to experience this kind of discomfort early on. And part of that is purposeful, it is the muscle they need to build, to become resilient entrepreneurs and keep taking bigger and bigger risks. But also, it just makes sense.

Rather than spending years building an audience on social media, we prove that the offer has legs, and is viable, by actually selling it, or at least selling a part of it. You can tell me, 50 of your friends said they think your offer’s so valuable. You can tell me, it changed your life, and you know other people need it; I don't care.

Is someone willing to pull out their credit card now? That is what proves viability. So yes, this brings up some emotions, earlier on. But that's what makes my clients so much more resilient and less self-sabotaging in the long run.

And now, I want to give you some body-based tools, or somatic tools, for transforming hurts and stressors into wisdom, to really processing these emotions. If you haven't processed the emotions from Thailand, yet, and you are sensitive to the topic, I recommend you do that now with me.

Otherwise, practice with a personal issue or your strongest uncomfortable feeling in your business. Okay, you ready?

First, you need to establish safety. So, you need to tell your nervous system that you are safe right now. When you start to actually feel the emotion, it will feel activated. It may think you're being chased by a tiger, right, so first, we're going to establish safety.

And, let a part of your brain know that you are perfectly safe right here. And to do that, all you need to do is feel the seat beneath you, feel the floor beneath you. And then tell yourself, show your eyes, that you're in a room. That you are in a safe place with a roof over your head. The temperature is amenable. There is no immediate threat in your environment.

Take a breath, and then, slowly exhale that breath. Then, invite that emotion in, feel it, feel it in your body. Now, most people can't do this at first, when they're not used to it. And so, they'll use their brains. If I ask a client; what are you feeling in your body? They will use their brains to describe it; I'm feeling shut down. And then, I will ask; what does shutdown feel like? What does constricted feel like? How can you describe that to me as if I needed to feel it?

I have physician clients, as well. And they'll sometimes start telling me like, the musculature of what's going on with them. And I'm like, no, no, no. Tell me, let me feel it, too. So, I want you to think in that way about the sensation of your emotion.

Does it tingle? Is there movement? Is there temperature? Is there pressure? Is it dense? Is it light? Is it large? Is it small? What does it actually feel like? This is something we rarely do, just sit and feel an emotion. Because it's uncomfortable. Our brain wants to avoid feeling uncomfortable emotions.

But you can do this, you can do hard things. Accept that emotion being there. You can literally tell it; it's okay. It's okay for you to be in my body right now. Just like, we are not our thoughts, we are not our emotions, you can get curious about it. And most of all, have no judgement about it being there. This is the human experience, in your human body, right now. And you're just watching it all unfold.

Now next, I'm going to ask you to dial it up. This is something we would never do, we always want less of the emotion, not more of the emotion. But I want you to imagine you had an old-fashioned radio with dials, and you could just turn it up. I want you to increase the intensity of that emotion, just for a small bit of time.

When you do that, when you're calling the shots, you will instantly feel a shift of some sort, you will feel it lose its power. It's when we resist the emotions, that it gathers more power. I've had a coach say, “What do you tend to do, if someone in your household is not listening to you, and you really know that they're about to hurt themselves, or that they really need to hear that thing? You keep following them around and speaking louder, right?”

And that's exactly what's going on with these emotions, when we're not paying attention to them. They're just trying to get heard. So, soften into the fact that they're there, invite more of it in. Invite more of that intensity in, and just sit with it and watch it.

It's like, if we were ever going to drink a potion of a certain emotion, we could do that for… Even if we'd know it would last 30 seconds, we'd be like; ooh, let me try sadness. And we'd feel that sadness for 30 seconds. It would probably feel very cathartic afterwards, right? Like, a tear jerker movie, and then we would be in an altered state.

So, soften and invite this emotion in, as if it's not such a terrible thing. It's a part of your experience, and you can be with it. And then, just check in. In what ways does it feel different than it used to? Is there anything that it wants to say to you? Is there anything it wants you to do, shift your body, move in a certain way? Check back in with it, in a week?

And then, you can turn the dials back down when you're ready, and you can move on with your day. That whole process can take 60 seconds or it can take five minutes. But what it leaves you with, is that clarity, right? That neutrality. Because I always say, “Clarity is very, very simple.” It's that sudden understanding, right? It's like the curtain opening, or the fog lifting, then it's like, oh, this; it’s that groundedness.

And, you cannot get there from a reactive state. Your higher self or your neocortex speaks to you when you settle your nervous system. We can call this whatever we want, right? Whatever you call your most elevated consciousness, whether that's your Higher Self, your neocortex; I am completely language agnostic here. I'm happy to speak to people about brain science, if they're more attuned to that. Spirituality, if they're more attuned to that.

But you think about your most elevated consciousness. Either way, your repressed intense emotions and negativity only lead to an activated nervous system. And science shows us that the higher parts of our brains shut down under bad stress.

Therefore, the longer you deny this work, the less access you have to the wisdom, the inspiration, the insights, that are the biggest drivers of your business success. In fact, I had an early business mentor, who had made a million dollars her first year in business. What she credited to that success was spending hours upon hours, doing mindset work on her biggest hang-ups and fears, and thinking back about unhelpful stories and beliefs that she had.

And she would not stop the work for that day until she had made herself cry. She needed to get to that level of emotion, in order to purge the past and move on with the future, and gain the insights to show up in a much bigger way.

Said with love, “Fuck consistency. Fuck willpower. Fuck the hustle, and fuck the latest tactics for Instagram.” Your greatest business successes will come from a much different place, that's a far more beautiful place to be in, too. If you're willing to do the mindset and emotional work that precedes it.

Okay, friends, that's it for today. And remember, on a certain level you know who you are. And, each day you're stepping further into what you are here to create.

Hey, if you enjoyed today’s show, you do not want to miss next week’s. Seriously. Follow the show wherever you listen to your podcast so you don’t miss an episode. And would you please, leave a super quick rating and review about this episode?

It’s how you’ll let me know what you liked and what you’re still curious about, so that I can create the most valuable content for you, going forward. As well as you’ll help other highly driven but slightly uncertain entrepreneurs find this show, and get the tools they need. Thank you so much.

Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity for Strategy for Growing and Scaling Your Business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.

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Ep #13: Allowing Yourself to Receive

Do you find it difficult to ask for help or support? Do you feel awkward or undeserving when somebody pays you a compliment? Are you always trying to downplay your accomplishments to yourself or those around you? You are not alone. So many women block themselves from receiving in these ways.

Allowing yourself to sit back and receive is no easy feat, especially as a woman. But we can all agree, receiving more is a good thing. So why are so many women still holding themselves back in their lives and businesses by unintentionally blocking so much of what they’re trying to achieve?

Join me this week as I’m sharing why it’s so difficult for women to allow themselves to receive, and how this is holding you back in your life and business. I’m asking you some questions to help spark realizations and develop awareness about what is feeling difficult to receive and sharing three steps to get you course correcting today and beginning the work of allowing yourself to receive more.

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If you would like help getting clear on what you are offering and how to talk about it, you have to join us in The Clarity Accelerator. It’s 60 of the best-spent days you’ll ever have, and you’ll get my eyes on your business and your messaging helping you dial all this in. Click here to schedule a call with me as soon as possible to learn more.

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What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

• The conditioning we have received as women and how it impacts our businesses.

• Some thoughts that keep you from expanding into a new level of consciousness or experience.

• How being unable to receive has shown up in my own life.

• Some places where it might be tough for you to receive and the reasons for it.

• How to allow yourself to receive more

• What not allowing yourself to receive is really costing you.

• A simple mantra to help you receive more in your life.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

• Want to work with me? Click here to find out how!

• Click here to sign up for my newsletter and find out how the Connect The Dots Method has helped clients in all stages of their business.

• Follow me on Instagram for behind-the-scenes content from my trip to Italy as well as my daily value bombs!

• Ep #10: 4 Types of Thinking That Keep You Playing Small

Full Episode Transcript:

You're listening to Episode 13 of The Uncommon Way, where we're talking about the art of receiving, and why it's so difficult for women, especially, to allow themselves to receive. How that blocks so much of what they're trying to achieve in business and life. And, how to begin the work of allowing yourself to receive more.

I've got some questions for you, that will help spark some realizations about what, specifically, is feeling difficult to receive. And of course, what to do about it. Because I think we all can agree, receiving more is a good thing. Right?

You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life, by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top ranked business coach and reformed overanalyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.

Welcome back to The Uncommon Way. I'm sitting in Porto San Paolo, Sardinia, looking at the beautiful red rooftops and white buildings that lead right down to this gorgeous sea. And there's this huge island rock, right out in the port. And, it just feels like life is really turning around.

Things are definitely looking up on the Italy front from last week. We switched homes, and we moved to a different part of the island. No more ant infestations. We can actually get food here, go out to restaurants, the area’s a lot more protected and less windy. So, we're pretty much loving life.

Now today, I want to talk about something that happened last week on a Clarity Collective call, and how it really highlights the importance of allowing yourself to receive. But first, I want to spotlight one of the listeners of this podcast who left this review:

“Clarity for the Soul. Jenna has a way of putting the confusion around entrepreneurship to sleep. Jenna uses her own clear sense of self to pave a path of simplicity for anyone looking to embody entrepreneurship and wealth as a destiny. Beautiful, inspiring, and forward thinking, this podcast offers simple yet highly effective strategy for mindset and sustainable wealth creation.”

That was actually from one of my dear mentors, Danielle Eyman. And I'm so grateful to anyone who takes the time to leave a review and to reflect back, either what they like about the podcast, because that helps other listeners figure out if it'll be helpful for them. And also, what they'd like to hear in the podcast, because that is so helpful for me. So, thank you, Danielle.

And I will fully and completely receive this compliment, because I am no longer afraid to own my truth. Now there was a point in my life, were reading those words, alone by myself in my bedroom, would have made me squirm with discomfort, let alone read them out loud to all of you. But allowing myself to receive this, is a testament to the work I've done on myself around this topic. And I'm on a mission to help others do the same.

Because there's one thing I've learned, it's that when you're trying to make something happen, your results are inferior to when you are letting things happen. Now, yes, there is balance. We're not just sitting back and doing nothing. But the actions we're taking reflect our beliefs. They're just who we are and what we do.

When things start to backfire, is when we're trying to force something to happen that we think we really need, or doubt that we'll get. That's when we shut the doors to receiving. We get so caught up in being self-reliant. Maybe you're like I was, and you've developed this story that you can't trust or count on anything outside of yourself. If you want something, nobody with you is going to make that happen.

And we get so used to that perspective, that we may not even realize that we're actually pushing things away. I can't stress the urgency of this work enough. If you don't start releasing this block, it's like being in a rowboat with a small anchor. Of course, everything's nautical theme for me now, because I'm here. But yes, it's like being in a rowboat with a small anchor.

Everything's so much harder and you go so much slower. When it comes to bringing on clients, it's almost like you've got one hand waving the person closer. But then with the other, your palm’s out flat and you're saying; stop, not too close. Like, come closer, but not too close.

So, let's see where it might be tough for you to receive. I'm going to ask you some questions and see if any of them feel relatable. Do you have a sneaking suspicion that you're the one blocking yourself from clients that want to pay you? Either, you're not bringing on many clients or your group size isn't really commensurate with peers, and with the effort you're putting out?

Do you hear your partner say, “Well, why didn't you just say so,” after you finally blow a gasket and say you need some help? When someone pays you a compliment, it feels awkward and often, undeserved. You tend to say something like; oh no, you're the one who looks amazing. Or, oh, thanks. I feel like I bombed it, though.

Do you feel guilty about money you spend on yourself, or investments you make in your business? So, you know you just make lots of smaller ones instead, like binge shopping at Marshall's? Are you always trying to grab the check at the restaurant so that someone else isn't paying for you? Does it feel totally uncomfortable to let somebody do something that you could just as easily do yourself?

So, you end up just doing most things yourself. And then you're exhausted from doing everything for everyone, and trying to show your business baby some love, too. But of course, everything the biz baby puts out has to be extra, extra perfect If you're ever going to truly deserve to be successful. Do you tend to downplay your accomplishments both to yourself and those around you?

If so, we've just identified another clarity gap. You now have awareness that you have some issues around receiving, but you don't know exactly what to do about it. So, hang on, because I'm here to help you close that gap.

But first, you might notice that there are several themes running throughout those questions. There is money, there’s support, love, success, praise, appreciation. So, it can show up in different ways. But in life, these are all entwined. So, having a resistance to one can end up blocking others, too. Which is why I invite you to take the work of learning to receive very seriously.

It is work. Almost all change involves work. But you can change this; this isn't a life sentence. And you deserve to get out of your own way here, and start receiving what life has to offer. This is the kind of work that can make your business seem too easy, just too good to be true. You go from striving and efforting and still underperforming, to really surprising yourself, to then having another layer of work to do, because you're feeling guilty that things come to you so easily.

I've seen this over and over, with myself, in many iterations of my business. Right? I was the one that was working so hard, and got to the point where I felt like I deserved, finally, to earn money in the business. And then, we moved, I put the business aside, and I started ranking on Google®, and clients just started coming.

I've seen with clients. too. I’m thinking of one who was significantly underpaid, with a few very difficult time-consuming clients, who ventured into this work with me. And then, started realizing all of the connections she had, that were longing to support her.

If you look at her story, in hindsight, you'd say; well, of course, she became a success. I mean, look at all the connections she had. But it didn't feel that way when we started working together. She didn't even realize she had them. She worked with athletes, and it turns out she knew people at Nike®.

And, a friend of hers was dating the coach of this hockey team. Oh, and also there was this industry professional organization that wanted her on the board. I can't even remember all of them, really. It was just so amazing when she started to reveal all of this to me. But these people deeply respected her work and wanted to showcase it, so that their athletes could improve their results.

And once she started letting that happen, that's really all she had to do; her business took off. Again, this work is not a shortcut for setting up business foundations, you have to do that. This client knew her people very well, she'd made discoveries about her own secret sauce, and how to describe it, she had some standout testimonials. Or rather, I helped her get the standout testimonials from the past success stories, because she wasn't asking for them in a way that highlighted the value of her work.

This is something we do when we, deep-down, feel uncomfortable about receiving. We don't even want the really great testimonials to put up on our page, because we'd feel so awkward having them there. But even with someone like that, who has done so much of the groundwork, you can still not be seeing meaningful results in your business if you have hang-ups about letting yourself receive.

Which is why it's important to try to get ahead of this, too. When you know you're about to do something that's going to stretch this receiving tolerance, the tolerance you have for receiving a set amount of goodness but no more, then you will want to engage in this work preemptively.

And as a coach, I'm always watching for this with my clients. When they want to move on to do X, I'm looking out for their receiving tolerance. Here's an example. So, last week during our Clarity Collective call, and again, that's the larger group comprised of both Clarity Accelerator clients and private clients who have already been through at least one round of the Clarity Accelerator.

One of the women was sharing a new dream idea that had occurred to her. Now, this woman is such an amazing groundbreaker. We always love her ideas. She came on board with me, right when she was transitioning her private medical practice from taking insurance to no insurance. And really wanting that to be successful, via calling in a new type of client.

Someone who was willing to pay for high quality medical care, regardless of whether their insurance would pay for it. And, it's been going so well, that now she's selling her practice, and going totally virtual.

Which by the way, is one of the amazing things about the Clarity Collective. Because there are these synergies where everybody's just one step ahead of another, and can lend a helping hand or perspective in one area, and benefit from it from someone else in another.

I have another physician client, who's just thinking about going out on her own and leaving behind the medical establishment that she's been with for years. And even though your coach can tell you how possible it is, there's something so different about knowing a peer of yours was able to do it, and being able to talk to her about it.

And that goes for finding your first clients, or switching business models, or a new platform. There's this amazing blend of variety and synergy within this room. It's positively electric. I love it so much.

Anyway, now that my client is going virtual, it occurred to her that maybe she wanted to take a sabbatical here, and then pick up her coaching/medical business later. But she was having thoughts like; well, but things are going so well. Maybe I should ride the momentum. I don't want to break anything. But am I thinking this way out of fear?

And this is a perfect point to interject, that if you have similar thoughts, you need to listen to my podcast Episode 10, called, The Four Types of Thinking that Keep You Playing Small. And then, you need to get inside the Clarity Collective, so you can get this sorted out. Because as you're about to see, just these little brain ticks, which are totally, totally normal brain ticks, can alter the course of your life; they can drastically affect your decisions.

So, first thing, I wanted to help her stretch her brain in the opposite direction from its natural inclination. Which was to see why she would want to continue coaching now, rather than the reasons like, because I should. Where's the desire in that option? Because you never want to make a decision from, should I do what I want, or should I live in fear? Right? That won't lead to a clean decision either way.

She's very coachable, so she was willing to play and allowed herself to talk through it. As she did, she started generating actual desire. And wouldn't it be amazing if every decision we made were win-win like that, right? Just the choice of two amazing options we love.

So, when we got to this clean decision point, then I asked her, “And now, just what if it weren't either/or? What if it were both, Thailand and coaching? What would that look like? Let's just daydream of it. And as she imagined having a few calls a day, there was initial resistance that was immediately counteracted, because at that very minute, her own coach was sitting in Italy. Still maintaining coaching calls without missing a beat.

It was so perfect, my friends, it is all possible. It's just a question of what you want to create. Now, I have zero judgment about whether my client stays in her current city, goes to Thailand for a sabbatical, or does both. But make it your uncommon way, do what you want, rather than letting either, society or a conditioned way of thinking, narrow your possibilities.

The things we're able to manifest in this collective are very special. And it's because it's no coincidence that we're all together, and that I call in the people that I do. We’re meant to interact with the people that are going to help us towards our next evolution. And that, we in turn, can help. This is how it works when you're moving in alignment.

But one thing I did want to get real with her about, as someone who has actually done what she's thinking of doing, is this receiving piece. So, I brought it up. Because, in order to live a life like this, you have to do the work of letting yourself receive. Especially for women, who are conditioned to put ourselves last, to do everything for everyone, to be humble, to make sure things get taken care of, even if that means working tirelessly behind the scenes.

In fact, there's all this approval and all these accolades, right, when you play that role. Oh, so and so has been working so hard, so selflessly, this place would fall apart without her. So, allowing yourself to sit back and receive, that is no easy feat. Think about it. Do you have any memories of your grandmother just sitting back and letting everyone else cook her a meal, and clean up after her? And, she doesn't even jump up from the table to start cleaning dishes? If you're like me, the answer is a big, no.

I had a lot of the same conditioning that you all do. So, starting to do these month-long trips to the Mediterranean triggered all sorts of things. Correction. Even when I first started thinking about taking these trips, it triggered all sorts of things. Imagine spending this money on yourself. This is not cheap. Wouldn’t a responsible, self-sacrificing, wife or mom use that money for something else, or just not use it at all?

Imagine asking your entire family to transplant themselves, to inconvenience themselves. Your sweet, 70-plus-year-old mom to take that grueling flight. Your little kindergartener to stop bonding with his new schoolmates. And instead, do something that sends him straight into crankiness and regressions.

On other trips, I've scheduled calls while my son was asleep. But now, I'm also asking for childcare support, from my mom or husband, for the times that I have calls. And as I've just mentioned, hanging out with Dylan is not easy. And I'm also asking for you all not to judge me, or at least, I'm opening myself up, vulnerably, to the possibility that you might, about how full of myself I am talking about ooh-la-la trip to Italy.

Who knows what people would think? Because isn't this all just so self-centered? It's like the woman in movies, who marries the good guy, and then becomes this total diva and spends all the money, and is a horrible mom, and makes everything all about her. These are the kinds of thoughts I've had, that I know are totally normal, because I've heard other people express them, too.

They're the ones that keep you from expanding into a new level of consciousness and experience. That keep you from living the full life that's available to you. The way I'm living now, is not something I just flowed into gracefully. It took work. It took serious unpacking and belief building.

I remember how painful it used to be for me to ask Ben for money. It always rubbed me the wrong way, even to allow a date to pay for my meals. And I remember racking up credit card debt because I didn't want to ask Ben for money for many, many years into our marriage. Even though I'd given up my career to be with him, and follow him around the world in his military career.

And I'd spent countless unpaid hours on military activities that benefited his career. But that perspective isn't what my brain defaulted to. It defaulted to, you’re a mooch. If you ask, it means you're dependent on a man and you've lost all sense of pride, and you're a failure. He's going to get sick of you anyway. But it wasn't just money.

It was even the little things. Like, I remember once, we were sitting at the table, and we needed ketchup. And even though he was closer to the fridge, I automatically popped up to go get it, because I just knew it would be so much more uncomfortable to sit there for those few seconds, until he would finally get up and go get the ketchup.

And even after I started doing this work, I remember there was a day where one of us needed to take the dog to the vet the next day. And, I had a lot of work. And, I had taken the dog the last time. And so, I remember saying to Ben, “Can you take her?” Now, he was in the bathroom, I was in the bedroom. And I said, “Can you take her,” and then I heard him sigh.

And I sat on the edge of the bed, I kid you not, just breathing into my body. Every single ounce, every fiber of my body, wanted to say; you know what? That's okay, I'll take her. But I didn't. I sat there and breathed until he was like, “Yeah, I can totally arrange that.” His sigh wasn't because he was frustrated that I asked. He was just trying to think through how he was going to arrange his day, so that he could take the dog to the vet.

And in business, I noticed for instance, that if I raised my price, I always found a way to make things harder in order to compensate. I'd start adding in extra calls or creating extra trainings. Or, I'd bring on a really difficult client and hear my inner voice say; I earned this. As if the value of what I was sharing with that client wasn't nearly as important as the time and effort I was giving to that client.

So, I have been there. I've been in the trenches. But I'll tell you what really opened my eyes. What was the biggest turning point in this work where I was like, I get it and I'll never go back. The first year I did this, the first year I took a month abroad, I took Dylan to the island of Paros, in Greece. And my mom came for just the last week or so, maybe 10 days of that trip.

The night she arrived at the little cottage, I went to get her a glass of water using a bottle in the fridge, and she goes, “Oh no, that's okay. I don't want to use up your water.” She was referring to the fact that she can just drink tap water. Even though it came from an underground cistern and smelled like old garbage, I kid you not.

A few minutes later, we got into an argument over who should get up with the baby in the morning, and let the other sleep in. Me, who had been there for weeks and was fully acclimated, or her, who just spent 24 hours traveling. And this was just typical for us. We were always like; oh, no, let me do it. Oh, no, let me do it.

I don't ever remember my mom just resting. She was always up doing something. Even at night, if she was watching TV, there might be something in the oven or she was sewing something. And it just clicked for me then, I was like; oh, no wonder my clients and I are like this. And no wonder my mom is like this, her mom was the same way, I'm sure.

And maybe you grew up with a model of self-sacrifice, too. I realized how deeply ingrained all of this is for us. Why it's so terribly uncomfortable to receive. Especially when we couple that, later in life, with trying to prove ourselves and be independent, self-sufficient women, right? We pile all of these other layers of meaning on top of why it's wrong to receive.

But friends, you need to think of abundance like a water hose. There's all this abundance coming towards you from the Universe, from loved ones, from clients; the volume is not the problem. The problem is that we pinch the flow of that hose. We're like; oh, that's too much. I wasn't prepared to get that wet.

And, it's like we have muscle memory around it. We acclimate to a certain level of receiving tolerance or abundance tolerance, and then as soon as a rash of good fortune and abundance slips through, we tense up again, and our fingers close off that hose.

So, what's a girl to do? How do you allow yourself to receive? This is ongoing work. It's something that we workshop regularly in the Clarity Collective. And something that I'm always calling out for my clients, and something that I'm working on, too.

So, I'm sure that if my husband listened to this podcast episode, he'd just be laughing, because I still exhibit a lot of these behaviors, right? It's a work in progress. But here are some key things to get you course correcting today.

Number one, first, you need awareness. So, this week, pick one thing where you suspect it's challenging for you to receive. It could be money, support, love, success, or praise, or whatever you come up with. And then, set some timers on your phone, so you can be reminded to reflect throughout the day on where this is showing up for you in your life now.

The second step is clarity, naturally. You need to get clear on what this is really costing you. How is it affecting your results, your energy level, your relationships, your creativity, your values? Really go there; get real. You need to do this, if you're ever going to convince your brain to undergo a change. Remember, your brain is trying to keep you alive by doing exactly what it knows works, aka what has kept you alive up until this point, right?

It is not interested in spending costly energy on rewiring brain circuitry. And then ask yourself; how is it unsafe to fully receive? Because we want clarity on why we haven't been allowing it, right? For those of you who are LCS (Life Coach School) coaches like me, I call these “advanced thought finders”.

So, what will it mean about you, if you were to receive in that way? Typically, with receiving, there's some tie to worthiness, to not enoughness. Because if your belief is I'm not enough yet, maybe if I get to X point, then I'll be enough or be worthy of receiving. Right? If I work hard enough, then I'll be worthy. Then you'll keep coming up with situations to reinforce this.

Ways in which you're not enough, situations where you're not there yet. Maybe you'll inadvertently create the evidence that people don't want to work with you, for instance.

From that kind of clarity, we move on to the third step, which is taking committed action to do and believe differently. This is what signals to your brain and the Universe that you're serious. Otherwise, you just keep recreating your old script, and maybe experiencing marginal improvement, but never big shifts.

I've talked about this process in other episodes, but the way to think of this is that you're increasing tolerance, just like you increase weights when you're working out. And, guess what? You can do this by creating a situation that stretches you. Maybe asking your family to clean up after dinner, and then not even doing something while they're doing it. Yeah, just kick your feet up, seriously.

Or, maybe, finally raising your prices. Or, you can baby step and practice with some mental exercises. Just imagine any of the things I just mentioned, or get really creative. Imagine yourself driving up somewhere in a Ferrari, stepping out in a diamond encrusted dress, and walking into an awards gala that's all about you. Where everyone singing your praises and you have to stand up there next to the person talking about you, and receive this award.

You do get to have fun with this, you know, but it should elicit enough discomfort, enough response, that you get to practice feeling that emotion. And you know what I want you to do, when it happens? I want you to say this simple mantra: I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry that I have needs. That I have opinions. That my work is worthwhile and valuable. That there are really amazing things in my life. That I have a zone of genius. I'm really done being sorry for any of it. And then, breathe.

Because the next step, when you're going through any up-level, is to relax your nervous system. If you're constantly in a triggered state, a part of your brain will double down on its protectiveness, and your efforts will be counterproductive. How do you relax your nervous system? If you don't know, we need to talk.

But whatever you've been doing, do it five times more regularly. Thank yourself for stretching. Reward yourself for tolerating the discomfort. That creates a positive feedback loop that makes your system more willing to try it again and again. You become more flexible when you allow your muscles to rest and recover. And these kinds of positive feedback loops will change your life.

Because your muscles become primed for bigger things. It's all transferable. Yeah, you'll still recognize the sensation of discomfort, though you'll have that muscle memory, so they won't seem so triggering. And you'll be able to move through them in a new way. And then, your nervous system will relax more quickly afterwards.

So, let me recap those. The first, is awareness. Obviously, you can't make change if you don't know what's going on. The second step is clarity. You need to make your brain understand what it's really costing you and where it might be coming from.

Then you need to take committed action to do and believe differently, knowing that it will bring discomfort. Practice saying the mantra “I'm not sorry”. And then, always allow your nervous system to relax. Give yourself that reset, so that you can keep growing and doing bigger and bolder things.

This is what you need to be willing to do and what you need to be willing to feel, in order to live your uncommon way. You have to open yourself to receiving that life, and expect that it won't be comfortable in the beginning. After all, the nature of uncommon is that not everyone's doing that or living that way.

So, on some level, it might not feel right or fair in the beginning. But so what if it stretches you a little, life is meant to stretch you. You can't get where you're going with the same brain that got you here. You are literally not able to receive the life you want with your current brain. Otherwise, you would have done it already.

And, it's so worth it, believe me. This is how I've created a life where I'm doing something that hardly anyone does; work from overseas, have location independence. Watch the joy on my husband's face as he sips and ice-cold beer looking out over the sea. Watch my mom as she buys the cutest little gifts for her friends back home, from the nice lady in the town square. See my son fascinated by the crab and the tide pools, and building sandcastles with foreign kids.

And furthering the values we have of being part-time citizens of the world, so we counteract that human tendency towards tunnel vision.

As a business owner, I get to stretch my brain about what actually creates results. I get to set so many business tasks aside, so many business have-to’s, and marvel that my revenue always seems to increase, regardless. I download inspiration just like trial scoops from the gelato shop. I relax into another way of life. I extend summer past its natural conclusion, back in Pennsylvania.

And I know, above all else, I know that I'm living a life of my own design. You can too.

Okay, that's it for the day. We're off to have a yummy seafood lunch in a little beach to taverna, and I will toast to you all. Remember, at a certain level you know who you are. And each day you're stepping further into what you're here to create.

Hey, if you enjoyed today’s show, you do not want to miss next week’s. Seriously. Follow the show wherever you listen to your podcast so you don’t miss an episode. And would you please, leave a super quick rating and review about this episode?

It’s how you’ll let me know what you liked and what you’re still curious about, so that I can create the most valuable content for you, going forward. As well as you’ll help other highly driven but slightly uncertain entrepreneurs find this show, and get the tools they need. Thank you so much.

Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity for Strategy for Growing and Scaling Your Business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.

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Ep #12: What to Do When Things Go Wrong in Your Business

As you probably already know, entrepreneurship is quite a different animal from anything you’ve excelled at before. It frequently feels difficult and uncomfortable, and as a result we tend to try and stay in our comfort zones as much as possible. But when you don’t take the risk and move through them, you don’t see what’s possible in your business. It is so easy to forget that experiencing discomfort will be worth it.

Our brain has this interesting quirk. It thinks of something that we need to solve, or an obstacle that we are up against, then tells us that once we face it and it’s behind us, everything will be better and it’ll be full steam ahead. But this is never the case; there are always more obstacles to contend with.

So what do you do about all the things that can go wrong? And how do you get in front of obstacles when you’ve never built a business before so don’t know what to anticipate?

In this episode, I’m sharing why so many of us aren’t even scratching the surface of what we could really be doing in our businesses and showing you how to move through obstacles so you can gain a bigger perspective. Find out what can go wrong as you’re building your business and how I move my clients through these stages so they can get back to taking powerful action and creating the amazing businesses that they’re here to create.

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If you would like help getting clear on what you are offering and how to talk about it, you have to join us in The Clarity Accelerator. It’s 60 of the best-spent days you’ll ever have, and you’ll get my eyes on your business and your messaging helping you dial all this in. Click here to schedule a call with me as soon as possible to learn more.

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What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

• Why entrepreneurship is the greatest personal development journey on the planet.

• Some states and scenarios that can lead to us feeling stuck, quitting, or getting sub-optimal results.

• Why earning money in your own business is much harder than earning money in a job.

• The problem with being unclear when it comes to your business.

• Why if something is meant for you, it will not pass you by.

• How to create the future your inner visionary sees for you.

• A simple tool you can use in your business when things go wrong.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

• Want to work with me? Click here to find out how!

• Click here to sign up for my newsletter and find out how the Connect The Dots Method has helped clients in all stages of their business.

• Follow me on Instagram for behind-the-scenes content from my trip to Italy as well as my daily value bombs!

Full Episode Transcript:

Our brain has this interesting quirk, it tends to think that whatever we need to solve will make everything better. So, as soon as we solve whatever obstacle is coming up for us right now, whatever we perceive to be the source of our problems, then we'll look around as if we had rose colored glasses on. Unfortunately, that's not the case.

Today, we're going to talk about what can go wrong as you're building your business. And I'll let you in on how I move my clients through the stages, so that they can minimize their downtime, and get back to taking really powerful action, and creating the amazing businesses they're here to create.

You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life, by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top ranked business coach and reformed overanalyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.

Hey, welcome back to The Uncommon Way, everyone. I have been getting so much interest about the Clarity Accelerator, thank you so much. I'm glad that it's resonating with you. The best way to find out all of the details at this moment, is to go ahead and book a call with me. I meet with people on Mondays and Fridays, usually just two on each day. So, you do want to snap up one of those spots. And yes, I'm doing that now, even while I'm in Italy.

If you want to start 2023 lightyears ahead, in terms of your clarity, now is the time to join this 60-day program, which is going to radically change, not just the way you think about your business, but the way you think about building business, in general. Your business won't be the same, and you won't be the same, either.

So, if you'd like to talk about it, hop on a call with me, I will be able to tell you if this is the right move for what is going on in your business. And if you are a great fit for the program, and will be able to benefit from what's available inside.

Okay, so you might notice that the sound is a little bit different. I am in Italy; I'm still recording in a closet, but it's not a walk-in closet. I'm just sort of smushed into my clothes here. And, you may hear my son, Dylan, in the background. I have an amazing podcast editorial team, but there's only so much Dylan that you can edit out. So, we'll see how it goes.

So, I have to tell you, this trip has been a little bit of a Murphy's Law situation. Our red-eye had a flight delay, which entailed keeping the four-year-old up much later than expected, or much later than he ever has stayed up before. And when we got to Italy, it turns out there is a new law, which says that Americans need an international driver's license to rent a car, which I don't have.

We were in Greece just a few months ago, and rented without a problem. And really the funny thing, is that an international driver's license; you don't even take a test. You go down to AAA (American Automobile Association) and you pay some money, and they give you this certificate. But they were adamant they were not going to rent to me.

So, I called rentalcars.com They tried to help me, they tried to find another company, and it was looking pretty bleak. Oh. Meanwhile, we're staying about an hour from the airport, in the middle of a nature reserve. And I'm trying to think; even if I take a taxi out there, we need a car. How would we get food?

Meanwhile, my son is just so sleep deprived, and in desperation, I started going agency to agency, there in the airport, asking if they would help me. And, guess what? Someone said, “That's not a problem for me.” After everyone else, we're talking about six, seven other agencies had said no, so he rented me the car. And then, we drove out to this location ,by now it was nighttime, and it took twice as long. On the map it's 28 miles, this took an hour and a half, driving on the tiniest little roads. My poor mom was so carsick.

Italians are flying past us on these one lane roads, basically, in the middle of the night, no streetlights. And our first few days were pretty rocky just trying to find supermarkets, trying to find times when they were actually open. I've been bribing my son with pizza and ice cream. When he comes to Italy with me, he's going to get so much pizza and ice cream.

I know, don't judge. And would you believe the tourist season is shutting down in this little remote area, and all of the pizza places are not serving pizza. They literally say, “Pizzeria, no. We don't serve…” Oh, and by the way, nobody is speaking English, which is so unusual. I kind of love it nowadays, but Spanish is close enough. I speak Spanish so we're managing.

Finally, last night we found a pizza place that, yes, at dinnertime has pizza. And, we had just such a nice day. We had then, stocked the house with food… And, oh my gosh, I didn't even tell you all about the ant infestation. And the water, the hot water went out in the master bedroom. But all of that was behind us.

We had this amazing meal, it’s just pizza to die for. Friendliest family, friendliest people, our children were playing together. Sardinian wine is to die for. And I woke up this morning, the winds had calmed down. Of course, the coastline is unbelievably rugged and gorgeous. And we're right on the beach. This vivid, vivid, turquoise and blue, and these amazing rock formations.

I drove to the supermarket, thinking it's all past us, now our vacation really begins. I popped into the market for a couple necessities, and as I pulled back out, next to this little rock wall, the fender of the car clipped the rock wall.

I heard a little bit of a scratch, just the tiniest little thing, and I thought, shit. But I'll look at it when I get home. There's nothing I can do now. So, I drove home, got out of the car, looked at it, said, “Hmm, I don't see anything. This is fantastic.” Started walking around the car... This is the moment when I wish podcasts were a visual forum, you would not believe what I saw.

The rock wall had clipped the area in between the fender and the wheel. And it had bent the entire front of the fender back like, you know, these little Italian cars, it just like compressed the whole thing. It looked like an accordion. And the bottle, that the carries the water for the windshield wiper, it was like falling off, basically dragging along the ground.

And I'm thinking; what am I going to do? We're in the middle of nowhere. How are we going to get a tow truck out here to fix this car? Are the police gonna pull me over for not being street legal? They can't pull me over because I don't have a valid driver's license.

Would you believe that we had an electrician at the house, at that moment, and I begged him for help. And he was able to not only contact my rental car company for me, and explain what was going on, so that they can switch out the car for me when I go back in two days to pick up Ben from the airport.

Oh, yeah, by the way, I'm literally telling you this before I've even told Ben, because of the time zone difference. And just using the strength of his arm, he was able to unbend the fender. Used zip ties to secure the fender back in place, I can't even make this up, so that I can drive the car again.

I know, why am I telling you this whole story? It's because just recently, in the episode about the four types of thinking that hold us back, I mentioned that when I was back home, I was feeling like; things are pretty good here, why are we going to transplant ourselves to Italy? It's going to be difficult. And, how I knew that it would still be worth it.

And, this is exactly what happens to us in business. We hold ourselves back from going through discomfort, forgetting that it is still going to be worth it. In the lessons that I've learned, just in the last few days, the humanity and generosity of people helping me and really moving mountains, has been such a gift.

And the resilience that I'm seeing my son develop, will be a lifelong benefit. But so often, what happens in business is that we do hit those rough patches, and it makes us wonder if we should just quit. It really makes us question everything, rather than leaning into what's actually available for us on the other side.

I mean, I, in the past, might have made so much meaning about this; that I was obviously not meant to be here. That we should all just pack up and go home. That for some reason, I was bringing this bad luck upon myself. I needed to do some sort of mindset work to figure out why I keep making things so difficult for myself. Or, just that God hates me, you know, the universe hates me. Or, that there's something wrong with me, that I have this cloud of chaos that follows me around.

But I'm not choosing that line of thinking. And I don't choose that line of thinking in business anymore, either. But it's so natural to feel that way in business, and there are several occurrences and states that can lead to quitting, or stuckness, or sub-optimal results.

Maybe you're cruising along on a high. And then, a client says no, and you feel plunged into the depths of doubt. Or, at a different point in your business, you have a launch that didn't do as well. And then, you're plunged into the depths of doubt.

So, I wanted to take this moment to talk about what can go wrong. Not only so that you can move through those periods and have a bigger perspective. But because so often, when we do see some sort of obstacle in our path, we slip into the thinking that once that obstacle is over and passed, it will be full steam ahead. But that is never the case.

There's another, and then there's another, and then there's another, and then there's another. And that is why entrepreneurship is the greatest personal development journey on the planet. I would give up all the money, just for who I've become over these last years.

And, I know that my suffering would have been greatly decreased, if I'd had somebody to say, “Hey, these are the things that tend to happen. And then, these are the things that tend to happen. And then, these are the things that tend to happen.”

Because with that sense of expectation, just like in an earlier episode, how I mentioned soldiers do so well in battle, because they have the expectation that they're going to be shot at. And, they have the muscle memory of having practiced that situation beforehand, over and over. And then, they can deal with it and move through it, in a way that you and I can hardly even fathom.

This is what's possible for us if we have someone saying, “Here are some things that can tend to happen next. Don't worry, we're going to move through them. Here are just a few ways that can happen.”

Now, I'm speaking about this because I was this person. In the beginning, I thought once I got clear on my business, watch out world. And I realized later, that's what so many high performers think. It's because we have a pattern of climbing the ladder, and making things happen, and excelling. And I would see this, when I would offer to help people to get clear, so that they would be in a better position to consider hiring me as their business coach.

And in the beginning, what people were saying was, “Oh, thank you, this has been amazing. Now I got it, I'm good.” Now, me being years ahead of them, knew that they had so much still, that they didn't even know they didn't know. But they had no way of knowing that, because they've never lived through it.

So, I had to change the delivery of my conversation to include that, so that then, they would also see the value of having a business coach throughout the next steps. Because entrepreneurship is quite a different animal than anything you've excelled at before.

And this is so important when you're bringing in your own clients, whether that's one-on-one or group, is to really understand their psychology, what they think the problem and solution is. So, for instance, me and the people I was then helping later, thought the solution was to get clear, and then they'd be able to build their business.

Later, I needed to understand that that's what they think the solution is, so that I could help them understand the full solution, and then see how my offer was perfect value add for that. So, as I mentioned, there's unclear, right? When you're unclear, then you're not going to be moving forward in your business.

And usually, people breeze through this in my program, in the Clarity Accelerator, the phase one of know yourself, because when you get to the point of committing to clarity, and you put down your money and time, and you're obviously going through a proven system that's designed to reveal what's been there for you anyway, your brain will be like; Okay, here you go.

But before entering the Clarity Accelerator, people can stay unclear for a long time; I certainly did. And it is possible to continue being unclear as you go forward in your business, which happened with me. And even in the beginning stages of the Clarity Accelerator, because your brain has a habit of being unclear.

So, I had a client that was trying to get clear on her niche and we'd have an amazing conversation ,and she would be like; yes, this connects the dots. I get it. I'm so excited. And then, when I talked to her a week later, she again would say, “I just don't know. I don't know what I'm doing. I want to talk about this again.”

And the first time, I assumed that she had changed her mind, that she did not want to work with those people, and I was willing to go with it. But the next week it happened again. And so finally I said, “Is it that you've changed your mind? Or, do you not remember what we talked about on that other call?”

And she honestly didn't remember, I had to have her go back and watch the replay. And this is what our brains do, they will obscure the clarity from us. And so, that brain pattern led to two to three weeks of inaction until we were finally able to resolve what was going on.

Now, once people do get clear, they can get into the quitting and stuckness type energy, when they really don't want to talk to potential clients. Which is so ironic, because time after time, this is what shifts everything. When you're in the phase two, ‘know your people’, of work in the Clarity Accelerator, this is when people naturally become so lit up.

Then, I was just talking to someone yesterday on a Clarity Collective call, who said, “Once I finally did that, now, I've just been like on fire revamping my website. It's such a different energy. I'm so much more happy with it, just by having that connection with those people, and really understanding who my people really are, and how they really think.”

Another, I remember I had a client that really was having trouble taking action. It was like a complete nervous system shutdown. And yet, as soon as she started speaking to her people, she was so excited. And she started telling me, I couldn't even believe week after week, she was telling me all of the things that she had accomplished in that week.

Because now it seemed so real to her. Now, she knew she could help them. Now, she had that clarity, and was just getting the things done in order to make it happen, rather than believing that it really wasn't ever going to happen for her.

But later, maybe you have that clarity, and you just don't want to post, you really don't want to be visible. Later on, maybe you don't want to make offers. You don't really want sales calls, you're really afraid of conducting a sales call. Or, you're okay with a sales call itself, but you don't really want clients, because then you feel like you have to deliver results. And it's so much stress, that deep down, you just don't want to deal with it.

Like I said, there can be these times where you're just not feeling motivated or inspired to take action. Or, you're taking tons of action, but it's the easy actions for you that don't bring discomfort. Like, I adore learning, so I used to consume webinars like I was popping candy, in this stage. Or, you are taking some scary actions, but really fueled from a place of desperation. And so, you end up just feeling so burnt out.

And then, of course, there are life events. I've seen it time and time again, that so often, when people decide to take a definitive leap forward in their business, something happens in their life that makes them question whether now is really the time to be doing that, after all. All of these are very normal, very common, most people go through them.

Then, there are also the situations that bring sub-optimal performance. It's interesting, I think it was on Netflix®, I was watching Serena Williams’ coach talk about coaching her, and how the first time they had a meeting he told her that he thought she was playing sub-optimally, or below her potential, something like that.

And, she was already like the top player in the world. Her mouth just dropped open. But he could see what she was really capable of. And this is what happens with so many of us. We're not even scratching the surface of what we could really be doing, how quickly we could really be growing our business. And, we do it in the subtle ways.

Like, we don't really want to bring on too many clients, it's just going to be too overwhelming, we're going to burn out. Or, we're not going to be able to give them the personal attention that they need, in order to get the results. And then, we'll feel terrible about ourselves.

We don't want to earn too much money. Yeah, it's true; this is a big thing. When you're starting out, you can say, I can't wait to make six figures. But do you know how many people really have issues about making that kind of money, or even more money? Earning any money in your own business is actually much harder than earning money in a job. Because in a job you don't always love it, it's expected of you, and you feel like you're earning that money.

But then, all of a sudden, you don't have a boss. You're not putting up with all of the office politics. You're not even commuting. You're doing work that you love, and you're bringing in money? It just seems too good. It really messes with our nervous system; something just doesn't feel right. Sometimes we don't want things to be too easy. Maybe we have stories about the kinds of people for whom things come easily; that they're entitled, that they lose touch with reality, I had tons of those. But there can also be a work addiction or a work set-point, where it just feels very uncomfortable to take time off.

I've been doing this work myself in a mastermind, where we have a goal of creating a 15-hour workweek. And, it is very uncomfortable to slow down. Your brain wants to be doing, to create the illusion of control.

So, a great analogy is; when you're used to driving a stick shift car, and you're doing things all the time. And then, you switch to an automatic, and you're really just sitting there, it feels so uncomfortable. Like, unsafe to be in that car because you're not doing enough. Some of you might have experienced this, too. If you're sitting in the passenger seat, or you're sitting in the back, it just feels like if you're driving, then you have the control.

So, we really don't want things to be too easy. And, in doing that we hold back our business. Easy, really is where creativity comes from; moments of ease, and rest, and/or healthy stress as opposed to debilitating stress and long-term, chronic work.

Sometimes we get into places where we don't want to make changes. Things are going so well in our business, we're worried that maybe it was a fluke, or we don't want to break anything. I had that with Google® for a while, I was doing so well with my SEO on Google, that even though my copy wasn't really speaking to where I had evolved to, with the people that I wanted to bring in, I was afraid to change that copy.

And when you're carrying that level of insecurity and fearfulness, you're always holding yourself back, just by not taking the risk and pushing yourself, you're not seeing what's possible.

Now, there are times where we do change. And then, we have to relearn selling to maybe that group of people. Or, you have to learn some aspect of how to make that new type of business successful, and there is a lag in your results. And then, you get into this energy of; maybe I should just go back to what I was doing.

It's happened so frequently with people that try to raise their prices, and they don't like the results they're seeing in the beginning, so then they go back to their old pricing. They're really undermining their revenue potential. Or, they're moving into group launches, and they're not seeing the results that they want. And so, they slide back into one-to-one, not from the cleanest place and therefore, those sales can also suffer.

And just to let you know, all of the things I've just talked about, present with very clever reasons; our brains are very smart. Only the most self-aware people can say, “I realize I don't want more clients. And, I'm not bringing on clients.” Normally, how they'll see it, is; it's not working, I'm doing all the things and it's not working.

Because if your brain can convince you to go buy a different program, or move to a different coach, or learn some new miracle tactic, what happens? You move back into your comfort zone, where you're learning again, where you're taking your time to figure that out. You start thinking thoughts that make you feel hopeful, but not doing the scary thing.

I remember, very clearly, there was a time I was feeling so burned out. And this offer floated across my feed; to learn to create really small offers for people, that would then, create so much revenue for your business. Be so easy. You wouldn't be interacting with people; you'd just be running ads. And it would naturally, bring people through a funnel, that would then sign up for very premium one-to-one coaching.

And, I invested $10,000, which at the time was the most I had spent for just a couple months of coaching, in order to learn how to do this. Even though I had a coach at the time, who was able to tell me why that wasn't a good idea. Why it really didn't work for people at my stage in business. And guess what? It didn't work for me at that stage.

But if your brain can convince you to do this enough, ultimately, you've blown so much time and money without results, that maybe it can get you to quit. Or, maybe it can get you used to that status quo, and get you thinking; well, I guess this is just how things are. And never really go make the splash, and own your worth, and create the massively successful business that you are here to create.

So, what do you do about all of those things that can go wrong? I could list out each one and say, here's what we do in this situation, here's what we do in this one. But hold tight; are you ready? None of these are about the specific situation. It's actually very simple.

These are all manifestations of some aspect of the same thing. A clarity gap, of course, right? There's a gap in clarity between the reality of what's possible, and that brain tick, or that brain pattern, or that brain malfunction, that is keeping you from it.

There's some lack of clarity between what seems like is happening, and what's really happening. And that's why my coaching philosophy is always to start with the simplest solutions, and then move up the ladder of complexity. Because we're interested in the quickest results. But sometimes we need the most profound results.

And I just watch my clients to see what they do with the coaching; if it really landed, how that actually affects their results. And then, I use my intuition to move into the next stage, if necessary. So, what is the very simplest form of creating mental change? It's the thought reversal. It's what they call “reframing”, in cognitive behavioral therapy.

So, I will often just tell my clients what they don't yet know, and how they might want to choose to view the situation, rather than leading them through a series of questions that I hope will bring them to the answer I want them to see as possible for them.

And there are so many lines of coaching, where they believe that you should really only ever ask questions, and do very minimal teaching. And I know, that really used to annoy the hell out of me when I was starting in business. I really wanted somebody to just give it to me straight, so that I could expedite my growth. And, I've always had this bias.

My father was famous for using the Socratic method with me. And it used to drive me crazy. I remember once, I was on a road trip with him, and I was five or six. And, we had maybe a three-hour road trip. And I very innocently asked, “Daddy, why is it hotter inside the car when we get into it, after we've been stopped, than it is outside the car?”

And would you believe this dude made me spend the next three hours trying to figure out the greenhouse effect, when I was six? You can hear this unresolved trauma, right? The point is, a good thought reversal can get you to where you're going so beautifully, in so many situations.

So, you've been thinking of it this way. But actually, it could be this. And here's why. So, you may be thinking that a sales call is salesy, and horrible, and manipulative. But you could also think that it is a win-win, regardless of what happens at the end of the call. That just by asking them these questions, they are going to learn so much more about themselves, and see their situation so much more clearly, than they ever have.

And you, in turn, will learn so much about your people, and how they think and talk. And it's such a divine appointment between two souls, that regardless of what happens, you're both so much better for it. And, that you would never need to convince the right person to work with you. If it's meant for you, it will not pass you by.

Now, I could tell someone that, or I could try and ask them their way into that type of thinking. Let me give you another example of starting with something very, very simple. So, once I had a client who was really feeling a lot of stuck energy and low motivation, and really didn't want to take action.

And you know, the first thing I suggested for her? Was to get into her body. Was, as soon as she felt that energy, to get up; stand up from her desk and go for a walk or move her body. Because she's a lot like me. She's the kind of person that just has incredible willpower, and will just sit there and try and brute force her way through something, rather than allowing and receiving what she needs in that moment.

Now, sometimes, those aren't going to be effective. Those simple solutions aren't going to be effective. Why? Because there's some thought or belief in the way, that’s far more entrenched and hidden. That's when we have to move up the ladder, and really start talking about unaddressed fears.

But sometimes, you realize, you get to the point where you realize what that fear is, and really, nothing’s seeming to clear it. And that's when we need to go back, often to childhood, and really start to heal that inner child. And learn how to process and integrate those feelings, so that they release their power over us.

This is the most beautiful and life affirming work that you can do, is when you can really start to understand that not only are your thoughts not you, necessarily, they're just thoughts. But guess what? Your feelings aren't really you, they're your feelings. And there is a higher-self version of you, that is free from those and that you can align with.

And all of those feelings and thoughts can come along with you, and should come along with you, because they're there to keep you safe. But they don't have to be in the driver's seat. And sometimes, all it takes is one time, getting clear on that initial childhood event that started to spark that defense mechanism, and to really see it for what it is, from the perspective you have now. And, it instantly clears up the problem you've been having.

I remember when I was having difficulty with sales calls. And I do remember thinking that it felt like such a power play. It felt like, when I sat down with a person, they had all the power; they could make or break, whether or not I was going to receive the revenue. And, I was just powerless to whatever they were going to say.

And then, once the money was exchanged, I became the one with all the power. Then, I was the coach with all the knowledge and was sort of, I don't know, magnanimously doing this favor for them. When I really worked back, to the first time that I remembered feeling this way, the whole idea about power and the extreme vulnerability of not having power, and the drive to have power came from childhood events.

And once I saw that, and saw that that was not the reality now, it changed everything. I removed the power play completely from the equation of sales conversations, and really started to believe it and just see it as a co-creative experience.

When I get onto a call with somebody. ever since then, I don't know what we're going to create together. I don't know what they're going to learn from me. And I don't know what I'm going to learn from them. There are times when I am coaching, and also on sales calls, where I am so tuned in to helping that person, that I don't even know where I download this information from.

And I find it so profound for myself, for whatever I'm going through in that moment. And I'm so grateful to the person sitting in front of me, who helped me bring forth that information. That whole process would have taken so much longer if I were trying to think my way into better thoughts, rather than having that revelation about my childhood, that just made everything disintegrate in a snap.

But sometimes we do need to do the work of building belief and thinking our way into better thoughts. And I will know, as a coach, that that's necessary, when the other things that I've just talked about have not proved to work. That's when I know that there's a habit, a repeated thought or repeated way of thinking and moving through, that simply needs reprogramming.

And luckily, I am an expert in building new beliefs. And I think it is the most important skill for any human to learn. I think it's what we should be teaching in elementary school, because this is how we shape our reality. This is how we get outside of our primal brains, and create that future that our inner visionary sees for us.

So, for all the times in your business, that will happen so many times, up to 100,000 and beyond 100,000. If you're feeling in a negative slump, or you just have the feeling that you're performing sub-optimally, just knowing that that is completely normal and is going to happen, will help you move through it.

And you have other tools now, such as finding those thought reversals for yourself; how else could I think of this? Going out and asking people that have gone before you how they think of it. Thinking through what you really need in that moment, maybe it is moving your body.

Understanding your beliefs and your thoughts. See what's really going on. Thinking back to times where you first felt that way, that might illuminate why you're thinking that way now. And just doing the work of building new beliefs.

All of these tools are available to you, and you should avail yourself of them. Because you will have very successful business, if you just don't quit. And you will get there sooner rather than later, if you minimize these periods, these lulls.

Luckily, if you have a coach, you don't always have to be thinking about which method you should be using for yourself. Although, of course, you can; self-coaching is a beautiful thing. But so is relying on your coach for their perspective.

I believe, so profoundly, that nobody should have to do this alone. That there is no glory in doing it without support. Case in point; how long it would have taken me to figure out this car situation, rather than relying on the kindness of a stranger? Who got the problem solved for me in less than 30 minutes.

So often, as women, we've become so attached to doing something on our own and not needing to rely on anyone, because we don't want to be that. We want to be independent; we want to be strong. We want to not take up too much of the family's resources. And yet, there's something truly beautiful about women helping women.

And that interaction of; you're giving me a hand up, and I'm giving you a hand up, and together, we have this rising tide.

All right, my friends. I wish you a wonderful week. And remember deep down, you know who you are. And, every day you're getting closer to what you're here to create.

Hey, if you enjoyed today’s show, you do not want to miss next week’s. Seriously. Follow the show wherever you listen to your podcast so you don’t miss an episode. And would you please, leave a super quick rating and review about this episode?

It’s how you’ll let me know what you liked and what you’re still curious about, so that I can create the most valuable content for you, going forward. As well as you’ll help other highly driven but slightly uncertain entrepreneurs find this show, and get the tools they need. Thank you so much.

Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity for Strategy for Growing and Scaling Your Business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.

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Ep #11: The Birthday Cake Strategy for Getting Clients

Clients are the engines of our businesses, so why do so many people have trouble getting them? If you’re not seeing the results you want in your business and you’re not getting the amount of clients you want, it means there’s a clarity gap. And this week, I’m showing you how to close that gap and start getting more clients.  

What I’m teaching you isn’t just for those with smaller businesses. It impacts all business owners. If you’re in the energy of why isn’t this working? or you’re confused about what to do, this episode is for you.

Join me this week as I show you how to make the necessary shifts in your strategy and business to find your people and get the clients you want. I’m helping you with the most direct and advanced stages of client acquisition, where your messaging needs to be for each of those stages, and how to identify whether your current strategy matches up with your current messaging.

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If you would like help getting clear on what you are offering and how to talk about it, you have to join us in The Clarity Accelerator. It’s 60 of the best-spent days you’ll ever have, and you’ll get my eyes on your business and your messaging helping you dial all this in. There’s a spot available for September, so click here to schedule a call with me as soon as possible to learn more.

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What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

• What The Birthday Cake Strategy is and how to use it to improve your messaging and get more clients.

• The quickest way to bring on clients.

• Why sales don’t happen without resonance.

• The reason people aren’t knocking on your door even if you’ve been showing up consistently.

• Some actions steps that will help you if you’re struggling to find clients, get sales calls, or meet revenue calls.

• Three umbrella categories my clients fall into when they come to me.

• The difference between being salesy and offering something no-strings-attached to people.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

• Want to work with me? Click here to find out how!

• Click here to sign up for my newsletter and find out how the Connect The Dots Method has helped clients in all stages of their business.

• Follow me on Instagram for behind-the-scenes content from my trip to Italy as well as my daily value bombs!

• Ep #5: Knowing Your People 101

• Ep #7: 5 Steps to Nail Your Messaging

Full Episode Transcript:

Today we’re going to talk about how to get clients and how to go out and find your people. And what I’m going to say is not just for those of you who are just starting out or have smaller businesses. Regardless of where you are, if you’re feeling yourself in the energy of why isn’t this working, or in the energy of holding back because you’re confused, this is for you. And especially for those of you who are like, “Just give me the steps, I just want to know what to do and when.” You are going to love this episode.

You’re listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life by prioritizing your clarity and your own uncommon way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here is your host, top ranked business coach and reformed over-analyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.

Hey everybody, welcome back to The Uncommon Way. I am prerecording this so we’re not actually in Italy yet. By the way we did find someone to watch Sky, actually two people. We had to break it up in the end so all is good there. Dillon has been my little shadow which happens whenever he starts to get a little disconcerted, he belongs onto my side like a little barnacle. And really the excitement is starting to kick in. It’s going to be so fun. So, when this drops I will be in Italy. Come over to Instagram, say hi, you’ll see pics of the house.

And there’s this area I’m so excited about. The house is right on the beach by the way in Sardinia. And there is this area that juts out from the house and it’s kind of dug into the ground and there’s a firepit and seats all around. And of course, since we’re staying into October it is going to get cooler at night. It’s just going to be so fun. My brother-in-law and his wife are coming as well and my mom will be there. Yeah, it’s going to be just great family time. And I’ll be posting pictures and updates the whole time. So, I would love it if you’d come along for the ride.

So, we have been receiving such great questions about the Clarity Accelerator. I know you’re excited about this opportunity. There’s really nothing else out there like it that combines clarity and messaging in this way, plus the human design and energetics work for those of you that are interested.

I was talking to a podcast listener the other day who decided to sign up. And she said, “You know, I just realized I had doubts about several areas of my business and I wanted the best help possible to get myself super clear and grounded on this foundational stuff so that I can move forward with confidence.” And I was like, “Yeah, that is exactly what this program is all about. It’s an investment in your future but it’s also a gift to yourself where you carve out the space to do this because I know how it is when you’re running a business.

There’s so many things to do, so much learning and research you could be doing. And yeah, deep down you know you should do some mindset work. Maybe you know your belief’s a little shaky here and you’re not really sure about your client there. I have been there. In fact, I am there. I’m always there. Why did I say I’ve been there? I do the work in the Clarity Accelerator at the same time as my clients over, and over, and over again. I never stop doing this work. And I usually find the time on our calls, on our workshop calls to prioritize this for myself as well.

So, I get you but you owe it to yourself and your future clients to take 60 days of think time, really it’s think time to just do this. It’s like when dust bunnies are building up under your sofa and you know you need to get to them but you aren’t. Your business is your house and the actions you’re taking and the way you’re showing up are never as powerful when your house has you feeling on edge. And what you don’t realize is that you’ll actually have someone cleaning out dust bunnies you didn’t even know were there with you, which is me by the way.

Am I going too far with this analogy? I am the one cleaning out the dust bunnies. Let me give you an example, that’ll help. So, I was talking to a client the other day, I remember she was telling me about a call that she had with someone who ended up becoming her client. And as she was relaying this she was telling me the story for a completely different reason. But of course, my brain, the way my brain works is always thinking about the client language, and the copy, and the psychology, and what that really means.

And so, there were a couple of times in that conversation I was like, “Stop that. You need to do content on that. You need to incorporate that in your explanation of the program. That is so good right there.” And she was in her story and she wasn’t even taking that broad view, that overview to be able to see those things and how perfectly it all comes together with the work we’ve been doing. And this is why it’s just such a gem to have someone that knows you and your business and can see the things that you can’t see.

So yes, all of this to say that if you want more info on the Clarity Accelerator right now the best way is to hop on a call with me. Not because I’m trying to withhold info from you. At some point I’ll put out a podcast episode just on this. But because I know you’re excited now and you don’t want to wait. And really the timing is perfect to enter in with us now or next month because then you start off 2023 with this clarity under your belt and imagine what you can do with it the rest of the year. How your results will shift because of it.

So, I have call spots open Mondays and Fridays. And I’m happy to break everything down for you module by module, answer any of your questions. It is a four figure investment, an absolute steal for what you get. My eyes on your business and your messaging with limited availability, on purpose I’m keeping it small. And don’t worry, our call will be very easy going and I’ll ask you all the questions I know to ask to make sure you’re a good fit and will actually get results.

I’ve been doing this for five years. I’m not going to make you an offer if it’s not a fit. That wouldn’t serve anyone. It’s not good for the other members of the collective that want to be surrounded by women that are both aligned and capable, frankly, of this work. So, you will be in good hands. We’ll make a clean decision and you’ll know then if this is for you.

Okay let’s talk about getting clients, although I really prefer the term, calling in clients for the record, but that’s semantics. So, most people say that they have trouble getting clients. See, that’s my client language. The reason we’re focusing on this is because, well, this is the engine of our businesses after all.

But also, there are basically three umbrella categories that my clients fall into when they come to me. Either they’re unclear about what they’re selling to whom or they’re unclear about how to overcome some mindset issue of some sort. Or they’re unclear about how to bring on more clients and create messaging that calls in ideal clients. And recently I’ve had a string of conversations with people talking about not finding clients. So, I want to respond to that and lean into this side a little more.

This is the universe sending me signs that this is something we need to talk about on the podcast. So today I’m introducing you to the birthday cake strategy. This is something that I’ve been teaching online for years and people tell me how useful it is so I know it’s going to serve you too. And even though it may seem like it’s geared towards entrepreneurs with smaller businesses, it applies to everyone.

Because you might start to notice a recurring theme in this podcast which is that many six and even seven figure problems are solved by going back to the foundation and closing a clarity gap. If you’re not seeing the results you want to see in your business there is a clarity gap. Maybe you’ve altered your messaging in some way.

Just recently I was on a call with a seven figure earner who was talking about a launch that didn’t do well and it all came down to a clarity gap in her messaging. As she evolved as a coach she had started to speak differently and speak about different things. And so, her audience wasn’t feeling resonance, conscious or subconscious. And remember, sales don’t happen without resonance. Luckily I can help you create resonance. I can help you get clear on what your clients want and need to hear.

But first you’ve really got to understand that this works in stages. If you haven’t watched my training on the Clarity First Strategy then you need to pause this. Head to my homepage, theuncommonway.com and sign up for that free training. It’s going to save you so much time focusing on all the wrong things and help you identify exactly where you need to go back to, to fix any current problem you’re having.

So, let’s talk about the most direct stages and then the more advanced stages when it comes to getting clients. Where your messaging needs to be for each of those stages and whether your current strategy matches up with your current messaging. Okay, now I love a good metaphor. They always help me clarify things in my mind because lord knows I can get into some complexity somersaults if my brain is left to its own devices.

So, if your brain’s like mine and maybe you’re currently either stuck in the analysis stage of maybe I should be doing this to get clients or this person over here says this thing really works. I’m not sure but I know I don’t want to keep doing that thing anymore. Or if you’re trying everything, throwing spaghetti at the wall, burning out and/or you’re beating yourself up with like damn it, you should have figured this out by now then here’s my suggestion.

Think about your client getting strategy like birthday cake. And here’s what I mean by that. You know when you take a bite of birthday cake, the part that’s closest to you on the fork is the least sweet, that’s the cake itself. As it gets further from you, you have the filling, some sort of yummy fruit or cream filling, that’s a little sweeter. And then the furthest away from you is the icing. That’s the sweetest of all. So, relating this back to clients in your business, think about people that are the closest to you that are within your network or maybe they’re one step removed from you.

Maybe you have a friend that referred this person to you, or maybe you have a client that referred the person to you but either way there’s some level of personal connection there and that’s why they feel a good amount of trust. The cake is like the messaging and actions required to bring on a client from that realm of people. The truth is it doesn’t have to be as sweet because when you have 20, 40, 60 minutes on the phone with somebody, it makes up for a lot of imprecise messaging.

Your language doesn’t have to be as tight because there are so many other ways to transmit value, trust, safety and warmth. It’s so much easier to make a connection and create resonance. You have your body language, what you transmit through your voice and whatever you can respond to. The person you’re talking to says, “I need to x.” And you say, “I can help you with x.” This is why you don’t want a set sales script where you just read something off.

By the way, this is why you want to be able to respond and engage to exactly what the person’s saying to you. Or the person says maybe, “I have a four year old son.” And just naturally you’re like, “So do I.” But the person says, “It just feels like I’m on this hamster wheel but I’m not actually getting anywhere in my business.” And you say, “I remember exactly how that feels.” So, you really don’t need the perfect hook statement or concise delivery at this point.

You need to be a human that they can relate to and trust, that can help them create different results. You need to show them how they’ll get those results. That’s it. Now, let’s talk about the people at the other end of the spectrum. These people are called traffic, people that you would advertise to, or they just came across you some other way like through SEO or a hashtag strategy and they don’t know you at all. Just like the frosting on your cake your messaging needs to be extra, extra sweet, extra tight.

You need to know these people inside and out if you’re going to be able to get through to them and they’re not right in front of you giving you all of this great information and clues. And then somewhere in the middle of those two groups are people that you could maybe be speaking to in a Facebook group. Or maybe you both took a course or a certification together or something and so they don’t know you personally. They’re not hearing the intonation of your voice but there is some level of trust.

And what I see so often when people come to me and they’ve been struggling, they say something like, “You know, I’ve been blogging for a year, I’ve been being and consistent. I’ve been putting it out there.” I mean that was my own experience blogging for a year. Or, “I’ve been running Facebook Ads, I’ve been showing up in Facebook groups consistently. I’ve been posting on Instagram every day. Why aren’t people knocking on my door?”

Well, it’s because you’re speaking to people that are too far removed from you. And your language isn’t tight enough yet for them to feel compelled to action. It will be, you’ll get there. But in the meantime, you need to make a decision. Do you want to keep doing what you’ve been doing or do you want some clients? Because if the answer is clients, you need to shift your strategy so that your efforts are focused on people one step closer to you or they’re focused on quickly getting people as close to you as possible.

You need to think about how you can actually get into a really human interaction with people. The same with my entrepreneurs that have bigger businesses. If your messaging is falling flat you need to get personal again just for a little bit. Go back and listen to my episode on Knowing Your People 101 and Five Steps to Nail Your Messaging. Even if you’re using the exact copy from a funnel that used to be successful, your audience might have become more sophisticated. Yes, you need to personally engage in your business to take it to the next level.

And I know, we don’t want to, our brain doesn’t want to reach out and engage with strangers. We want to hide behind our computer screens with this call me maybe kind of language. Because our brains don’t like discomfort. Expect that. It doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. It means you’re human. When my brain starts whining, but I’m an introvert, maybe there’s another way. Just do this other thing first. I should be past this by now.

That doesn’t mean I stop doing what’s best for me, my brain also wants to drink half a bottle of wine every night but I don’t unless I’m in Italy ha-ha. Now, sometimes people are attracted to my work because they love the idea of doing all this self-exploration and finding their secret source and they’ll never have to interact with a human because they’ll just put it up somewhere and clients will just flow in.

Now, the work we do does greatly accelerate the process of creating resonance, no doubt, and on a much deeper level than anything you’ve learned in some kind of persuasion copy course. But you still have to test your ideas and tweak them. And I recommend doing that with real humans. It’s by far the fastest and most informative way. It will spark so much great thought leadership which helps you create your blue ocean. And because of what I’m explaining here, it also ends up being the most lucrative thing to do when you have a smaller business.

So here are the action steps if you’ve been struggling to find clients, get sales calls, or meet your revenue goals. First take an overview look of your client getting strategy. How much of your focus is being spent on activities where your clients are further away? And how could you reprioritize and bring that a little closer? If you’ve been posting on Instagram maybe you could send an email to your friends or colleagues saying, “Hey, this is what I’m doing. These are the kinds of people I’m working with. Do you know anyone that would need this help?”

Or maybe you want to spend less time on Instagram and more time going to meetups or networking events, or coffee chats where there are the kinds of people you’re looking for and you can just listen and respond to what they’re saying. Let them know there are ways through what they’re experiencing and offer to get on a call and talk about it more. It’s so simple.

If you’ve been focusing your efforts on a semi warm audience like showing up on Instagram or a Facebook group, instead of just posting and putting information out there where you need your copy to be tighter, what can you do to get people on a call? The order’s kind of like this, in person is best. They can pick up on your energy more directly. Then a video call where you’re interacting directly with them. Then a live webinar where you can interact with them via chat but at least they can see or hear you.

Then some other form of video. There’s no interaction but they can see or hear you. Then some form of audio like a podcast. And finally, the written word. Way too many of you are spending way too much time with the written word and wondering why you aren’t getting results. All you have to do is back it up a little. So, the biggest bang for your buck, the quickest way to bring on clients is going to be through a conversation. What can you do to facilitate that?

You might be wondering, what if I don’t have much of a following yet and the Facebook groups all say no promotion, then what do I do? I would challenge you to get creative. I have a friend who does free in person events at local libraries. There are so many ways to do this. But even if we just focus on the easiest Facebook groups, those are the easiest because you know the kinds of people hanging out in them and it’s very searchable and very easy to get to.

A lot of groups offer free promotion days and so you can just put it out there. You can just say, “Hey, are you having trouble with x? I can help. This is what I do. Maybe here’s some social proof. I’m opening up a couple of spots to help people through this. Here’s why. Here’s what you’ll get out of it. If you’re interested, comment below or message me.” We go into more detail with this strategy in the Clarity Accelerator for people that want to explore this and personalize it to you and what you’re doing but that’s the gist of it.

It's really being a human but let’s say there are some groups that don’t allow promotion. They often will have a thread on a certain day of the week and you can offer a free call then. And even if they don’t allow promotion there are still ways. Get creative, be a human, strike up a conversation like you would in person and then move from there. And if you’re thinking, I would never do that. I would much rather drive them to a webinar or something. That’s fine, you can totally do that.

My clients build their businesses all sorts of ways because it’s never about the specific tactics. It’s about stuff like this, understanding the underlying dynamics of what creates resonance. But I will say, if you’re not currently booked out with clients then we need to talk. Because there is a mindset issue that is dragging down your growth, if you’re not willing to speak to a person and tell them that you can help, or you’re being challenged with visibility issues.

Alright, the first action step was evaluate your efforts and see where you can shift to more in person higher converting strategies. So, the second action step then is to think up a free offer, that’s something your clients really, really would love and would really help them to see that the end result they want is absolutely possible. Nowadays people don’t usually jump and raise their hands if you offer a free coaching call. But if you can offer something they really want, maybe some kind of specific result and they find it enticing enough, they will.

This is one of the things I teach inside the Clarity Accelerator is how to create a mini offer like this that aligns with you and leads your people to get on a call with you and makes sense for them to then continue working with you. And they will feel lucky to get on a call with you, this is possible. I remember when I was doing this, people would say, “Oh my God, I was just asking the universe for this and then it just appeared. I couldn’t even believe that you were offering this.”

And then of course I also teach what it takes to move your ideal clients through to actually becoming a client. How to think that through before you even get on the call or eventually on a sales call if they’re interested in learning more about what you do. Because the beauty is that I’m going to be honest, not everybody hits this out of the park on their first go. But once you’ve been successful at this with just a few people, I’m saying three people, you all, you can scale that system. You can create a webinar with the same kind of information or a PDF lead magnet, whatever you want.

So instead of spending a ton on Facebook Ads to drive people to a webinar that they may or may not attend, that you may or may not be able to convert in, you’ve done the groundwork with real humans. And because you are on the phone with them, you know what questions came up for them. You know what objections came up for them.

You can tell that I’ve taught this before to real humans and I know the main concerns. Some of them are I wouldn’t know what to say in my post. Facebook groups won’t let me promote. I wouldn’t have a big enough following. And the big one, I don’t want to seem pushy or salesy. Let me tell you, and I’ll be doing a whole podcast on this at some point but salesy is an energy. When you’re like, “Hey, I’ve got this thing you can benefit from, here’s how, here’s what to do if you want it.” That’s not salesy. That’s offering them extreme value for free with no strings.

Yes, you heard me, no strings. If you do something like this, this mini offer strategy and your energy is, I need to turn them into a client, I need this. I’m not going to let them get away. No, don’t do that. What you want to be thinking is, this is so win, win. I am practicing my messaging here and they are giving me all of this great information and they’re going to get such great value, I can’t even believe I’m giving this for free. And we’re going to part friends. And who knows? Maybe they’ll go on to tell someone about me and that person will end up becoming a client.

I don’t know. I don’t know how this is going to work out. It doesn’t matter, I know it will. When you’re in that energy and you’re just excited to get on a call and talk with someone and practice this, and get their feedback, and help them move a step forward. I mean it’s just a beautiful value exchange.

I had a client the other day, she said, “It’s right and true.” I just loved that. It’s so beautiful. It’s right and true. So, when you’re thinking about this mini offer, give them a quick win. And there are different ways to do this. You could help them get a little bit of the way there so that they get excited and then maybe they want to take the rest of the journey with you. A classic example is maybe they want to lose 20 pounds and you help them lose the first two.

When I was doing this I was helping people figure out what kind of business they really wanted, basically what they wanted to coach on. Because they’d be far more excited about hiring a business coach to help them build out a business if they had landed on a business that was really connecting the dots of their life. So, it was very strategic for me to offer that and ‘give that away for free’ because I knew it would set them up to be in a position to want to move forward.

And they probably had had disbelief about how I’m not going to be able to figure this out or this is going to take me a long time to figure out. And then when I’m able to help them through that so quickly then they’re really excited, they’re in the energy of wanting to keep moving forward and continue that momentum. You can also serve somebody by giving them the pitfalls or showing them what they’re doing wrong.

This is very common. You’ll see people like web designers, social media people that will offer to do an audit. And that really shows them the gap between where they are and where they could be. That is very valuable. When you are doing things and you’re not quite sure if you’re doing it right or what could be improved, what could be optimized, that is hugely valuable. You could also offer to diagnose what the real problem is, what’s really going on for them. Or you could give them an overview to show them what’s really possible.

That’s what I used to promote on my webpage, I’d give people a personalized roadmap based on their business and based on their goals, how they can get from where they are to where they need to be. That’s a huge win for people that have been struggling with overwhelm and they’ve been thinking about how in the world they’re going to make it happen and doubting that it’s going to happen. I see you. And then you can say to them, “Hey, look, this is doable. You can do this.”

I hear you saying maybe you can’t because you’ve been trying x, y, z but that’s exactly what my clients and I used to think too but here’s what’s different. Here’s what you’re going to do, and by the way, don’t worry too much about giving away too much information because even if you tell somebody exactly what to do, it doesn’t mean they know how to apply it to their situation specifically, or that they’ll actually do it. Come on, how many podcasts have you listened to from business coaches sharing great ideas that you haven’t implemented?

How many courses have you bought and not implemented? Join the club. But there’s always a reason and this is why we invest with coaches, to get out of our own way. And you can even explain that to your person when you’re on the call. You can say, “Look, I’m giving you the roadmap but here’s what tends to happen afterwards.” That puts you in the role of expert because you can see into the future about what’s not even on their radar yet. And that’s how you create the opportunity for them to enquire about getting your support to create the results.

They want to trade money for support. They want to trade money for faster results. You aren’t twisting their arms. When I hired my parenting coach, I knew I could read a ton of books and learn good techniques. I didn’t want to do that. I’m busy with my business, plus I didn’t want all the cognitive dissonance of one person says to do it this way and another person says to do it that way. No, I wanted someone I trusted who knew all the things and had distilled down the best practices that actually worked to just give that to me and help me when I was feeling stuck, or confused, or getting in my way.

And once you’ve had a personal interaction like this with an ideal client and you’ve gotten them some kind of win, it’s very natural and easy for them to feel safe about going further with you. They may or may not, again there are no strings, but it makes sense that they would. Wouldn’t you?

So just to review, birthday cake, the least sweet is what’s closest to you and the sweetest is something that’s far away from you. So, the further your clients are from you, the tighter your copy needs to be. The sweeter the enticement. If you’re not converting where you are, your first step is to evaluate and see how you can move your efforts back down the metaphorical birthday cake. No shame, audiences change, you change or you’re just learning this, it’s all good. It doesn’t have to take forever, you’re not going to be there forever.

You’re looking for just three clients that you actually want to work with, who respond to the same kind of offer and then say yes to working with you using basically the same kind of sales conversation. And then you can move a step closer to the icing and try it there, do a webinar or an Instagram post, or a Facebook Ad, depending where you are. And if that doesn’t work, just question, what was it that made it work before? If it’s your warmth on the call or how relaxed or confident you are, how can you bring more of that into the webinar for instance?

And if you’ve gone back and seen that your messaging is still on point and you’ve evaluated and checked all the blocks then it’s probably a mindset thing. It might be an undisclosed fear, or an upper limit, or something that’s not aligned. We all go through this at all different stages of our business. But at least now you have a clear guide for what you need to be doing at this point in your business and where the hang-up most likely is. And if you’re earlier in your business, you know what to focus on now, what your strategy should be.

And the second step after evaluating is to reflect upon what your clients really want and then test out your offer, paying attention to what they need to hear in order to feel compelled and safe about moving forward. So, I hope that helped. I’ll see you next week. And remember, you know who you are and each day you’re moving further into what you’re here to create.

Hey, if you enjoyed today’s show, you do not want to miss next week’s. Seriously. Follow the show wherever you listen to your podcasts so you don’t miss an episode. And would you please leave a super quick rating and review about this episode? It’s how you’ll let me know what you liked and what you’re so curious about so I can create the most valuable content for you going forward, as well as how you’ll help other highly driven but slightly uncertain entrepreneurs, find this show and get the tools they need. Thank you so much.

Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity First Strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit theuncommonway.com. See you next time.

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Ep #10: 4 Types of Thinking That Keep You Playing Small

Join me this week as I share 4 types of thinking that will cloud your decisions and keep you playing small. Learn how these 4 types of thinking can show up and what you can do about them, and how to start making empowered decisions from a clean place. 

When we are evaluating where we are and thinking about where we want to go in the future, there are two places that our brains tend to go: where I am is not acceptable and I need to make a change, or maybe where I am is fine and it’s good enough. Today, I’m speaking to the latter.

There are so many negative stories we hear about what happens when you don’t leave good enough alone. But there are also many stories of regret from not stretching ourselves and going after something we want. That’s why we have to question our thoughts and beliefs and start taking action from an empowered place, and this week I’m showing you how to get started.

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If you know you have a ceiling holding you back, but don’t know what it is or how to bust through it, I can help you, my friend. You don’t have to stay in the land of “what ifs” any longer. I am opening up a spot for a 1:1 private client and I would love for us to get to know each other. If you are ready to follow the nudge, click here to schedule a call with me, I can’t wait to talk to you.

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What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

• Why having a pros and cons list isn’t always helpful in your decision-making and can stifle your creativity.

• How false dichotomies can keep you stuck and indecisive.

• What happens when you catch yourself in black and white thinking.

• A simple question you can ask yourself if you find yourself in victim thinking.

• Where imposter syndrome comes from.

• Some tips to help you make empowered decisions.

• Why you can be grateful for what you have in life AND be excited for more.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

• Want to work with me? Click here to find out how!

• Click here to sign up for my newsletter and find out how the Connect The Dots Method has helped clients in all stages of their business.

• If you would like help getting clear on what you are offering and how to talk about it, you have to join us in The Clarity Accelerator. It’s 60 of the best-spent days you’ll ever have, and you’ll get my eyes on your business and your messaging helping you dial all this in. There’s a spot available for September, so click here to schedule a call with me as soon as possible to learn more.

• Follow me on Instagram for behind-the-scenes content from my trip to Italy as well as my daily value bombs!

• Ep #2: The Decision Tree

• Ep #6: How Entrepreneurship Made Me Woo

• Ep #8: How to Surpass What Your Brain Thinks Is Possible

• Into the Unknown – song from Frozen 2

Full Episode Transcript:

There are two places our brains tend to go when you evaluate where you are, or you're thinking about the future. Number one, where I am is not acceptable. I don't like this; I need something better. And then, there's also, where I am is so good. Why don't I stay with good enough. And today, I'm speaking to the second one. If you're not there now, you likely will be at some point.

I'll be outlining four types of thinking to look out for, because they will cloud your decisions and keep you playing small. Not because I want you to choose any specific course of action, I cannot know what's best for you, but so that you can make the decision from a clean place. Rather than through a filter that might not be serving you. And therefore, you can move more powerfully from a more grounded place whatever your course of action.

I'll show you how these four common types of thinking show up and what to do about them.

You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life, by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top ranked business coach and reformed overanalyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.

Hey, welcome back to The Uncommon Way. when you hear this, on the day that this is dropping, I'll be on a plane to Italy. So, we made a commitment a few years ago, that we would spend a month every year somewhere in the Mediterranean with our son, Dylan.

Traveling is a very important value for us. We really want him to grow up never even remembering when he started to travel, and always being very comfortable in different cultures and used to seeing different perspectives and points of view.

So, we made this decision, and then we did spend one month in Greece, several years ago, a couple years ago, I guess. And then, COVID. So, we are now resuming operations, and it's very, very exciting. The Mediterranean is definitely my happy place.

But it's a little difficult, too. I mean, it's a logistic endeavor to move the family over there. And like, as a matter of fact, at the time of this recording, we still don't have a dog sitter for our puppy, Sky. So, there are a few things that still need to fall into place, lots of packing that needs to happen, all the things. And I admit, there's that little voice in my head that says; aren't we good? You know, September's nice here in Pennsylvania.

I just love the fact that my life seems to tie in so perfectly for the topic each week, that I had planned. So, we're going to kind of be dissecting the things that lead to that type of thinking. That lead to the ‘Is this good enough? Aren't we good?’ type of thinking, just so that we can move forward from a clean place.

Because sometimes you do decide to stay exactly where you are, or to repeat what you've done, or whatever it will be, but you do it from this powerful place, when you have really analyzed the question from a few different viewpoints.

And by the way, if you're not following me on Instagram, do that right now. Open up your app; I'm @theuncommonway. And not only will I be posting behind the scenes, Italy pics, which will be fun, but I'm putting out little 60 second value bombs that are completely independent from what I'm doing here at the podcast. I’m doing that daily, so you don't want to miss it. And honestly, I’d just like to get to know you, that would be so fun. So please, do say “Hi.”

And now, I would love to give a listener shout out. So, this one is Northyo. The title’s so enigmatic; she wrote or he wrote, “When the Universe sends me…” and then I don't know what it is; sends me things, sends me this. Super curious, but Apple’s® not showing me the full title.

But what Northyo wrote is, “She is so clear and totally knows her audience…aka me. Her episodes are so approachable and concise as to my problem AND the solution which are so doable. These episodes are exactly what I needed. Thank you!”

Thank you, so much. That is absolutely what I want is for this to be very, very doable. And you to be able to take the action, gain the clarity, and move forward with the amazing things you're meant to do in the world. If you haven't left a review yet, totally get it. We're all busy. Maybe you had kids that are just now going back to school. But I would so appreciate if you could find the time to do that. Even as you're listening to this episode.

You just look for the show, The Uncommon Way, and then scroll down to the reviews and the ratings. I'd love to know what you think, what you liked, what you'd like more of, what you have questions about. So, that we can really form this podcast into what we want it to be, together.

Okay, let's get down to business. So, the first type of thinking is black-and-white thinking. I had a client that came to me with a very successful seven figure e-comm business, and she was thinking about shutting it all down. Which is not unusual for my people, right?

A lot of us, not necessarily her, but a lot of people, you know, move forward and build something out of hustle. They think they just, you know, find an opportunity in the market, and they really just want more freedom, they want to leave corporate, all the things.

And then they get there, and they realize that they have this question inside of them about; is this really what I want to be doing? Right? Or, maybe that was what I wanted to be doing, but now I'm being called to something else. So, she had so many pros and cons for each course of action, that really got impossible to compare. And that, is when you reach gridlock.

So, if you haven't yet, go back and listen to the episode called The Decision Tree, it talks about how we're taught to make decisions, in this pro and cons kind of way, compare and contrast kind of way. And, it really can just stifle our creativity.

Because what if it's not either/or? What if it's yes, and? Or there's some shades of grey in between? There might be something in between, you shut down the one and launch the other, or you do nothing. Maybe there's something in between all of that. Maybe there was a way for her to incorporate what she was being called to do, into the company she already had.

I remember this type of thinking myself, when I was a yo-yoing with whether or not to leave corporate. My thinking was either I'm grateful with where I am, and I don't want anything more out of life. Or, I'm ungrateful, and I want change. But no, right? That type of thinking was blocking me from seeing that you can be grateful and be excited for more.

This shows up with coaches in the Clarity Collective who feel conflicted with; either I have to run my business this way. Or, this other way. These kinds of false dichotomies, keep you stuck and indecisive. Or, they feed your confirmation bias, where you become more and more entrenched that your way of being is the right way.

So, we really go at this head-on in the Clarity Collective, because we are creating your uncommon way of doing business. You don't want to be all one way or another. You want to stay in that curiosity and playfulness. And you want to do, you. So, what happens when you catch yourself in this black-and-white thinking?

I'm going to use an analogy from my yoga teacher days. In the same way that you develop flexibility in your body, you want to develop flexibility in your brain. So, for that you need to stretch in the opposite direction than what you've been doing, to build a muscle.

So, if a runner came to my class, and they had been really pumping with their legs, then we would want to stretch the hamstrings in an opposite direction. Instead of contracting, were expanding and stretching. And we can do that with our brain, as well. If you've been thinking in one way, practice stretching it, just for the fun, of it in the other direction. Don't let it stop where it wants to stop.

Keep questioning; what if? Is that true? How is the opposite true? All right, that was black-and-white thinking, let's move on to future perfect thinking. This is where you think that if you just continue what you're doing, everything will be great.

So, this is where you get all of that worry about; I'm afraid of messing things up. Right? Things are really pretty amazing, why would I disrupt this? When is it ever going to be good enough? Is this some kind of self-sabotage, that I'm even considering this?

I've seen this show up for my clients as; I don't want to break anything in my business. I'm not going to change anything. They forget that they create the results. And instead, they're outsourcing those results to a process or to a platform. And so, in their mind, if they continue with that process or that platform, they have this clear, perfect vision of the future. That's why we call it future perfect thinking.

So, the brain is believing it will stay safe and insulated, and can safeguard happiness if it just continues with where it is. Now, brains have evolved with a bias towards this; let's stay right here in this cave and everything will be fine. But we know there are no guarantees.

A bunch of poisonous scorpions could push their way through the little crevices in your cave, right? Or, your account on that platform get shut down. The truth is, it's just as possible that things can go south if you don't do anything differently than if you do. We don't want to make decisions based solely on a future we can't predict. You also need to think about what you want and what is right for you. What makes sense at this point in your life, this juncture in your life.

Now, I have suffered from all sorts of variations of this kind of thinking. Like I mentioned, feeling guilty about wanting to leave corporate. Or, fear that if things got too good, the other shoe was going to drop. I have this vivid memory of driving Dylan home, he was in the car seat in the back, I think he was about two, maybe one.

We would pass by a Ronald McDonald House™, and at the time, in my head, I was working on some sort of like, visioning or goal setting and I was really thinking into my future. And you know, on the drive home, I was imagining, you know, what was coming around the corner.

We were at the stoplight, and this family was crossing the street in front of us, and their son was paraplegic. And I heard my brain, in that second, go, “Jenna, don't ask for too much.” Right? The thinking was, that I was somehow going to jinx the perfect, easy life, and that something really bad could happen if I push too far.

And I've heard this from many other women, as well. There's this fear, right, this upper limit, if things get too good, something else is going to crumble. And even recently, even though I work with people on the same thoughts every day, it came up for me.

I have, for a long time, I think my whole life, dreamed of adopting a little girl. But I have a lot of fear around it, too. Right now, the three of us have a really nice life. How will the dynamic change if I bring another child in? What if my relationship with Dylan is negatively affected? What if this child ends up having special needs, that greatly disrupt and challenge our lives?

My thinking at the time, was I can't apply the type of tools that I use with my clients for this particular situation, because it's just too big and important; lives are at stake. Right? I could ruin my husband's life, ruin my son's life, if I choose, I don't know, impetuously.

So, you can hear, kind of, the judgment involved in this, as well, the self-judgment. But luckily, my friend and an excellent coach, Laura Swartzbaugh, was pure coaching me on this. And she helped me see that really, there were no guarantees about this perfect future, if I didn't adopt the little girl. And there were of course, no guarantees about what will happen if I do.

Basically, there are no guarantees. And my brain could spin into all sorts of possibilities, negative or positive. But I can't know what'll happen. And so obviously, I need to lean into the decision that I want. Knowing that I'll figure it out, as I always have.

And by the way, adoption is not a simple process anymore. So, if anybody listening has any type of connection, or even advice for me, or knows of a mother that does want to adopt out their child, I'd be grateful if you would contact me. Because this is happening, one way or another.

So, this type of thinking is very pervasive. There are so many stories, you watch any Hollywood movie, or read any fairy tale, so many stories about what happens when you don't leave good enough alone, right? When you strive for more.

But there are also so many stories about regrets from not stretching, right? My favorite work of modern fiction, touching on this topic, is the animated Disney® film, Frozen II. It's the one where the song, Into the Unknown, comes from. Elsa keeps hearing this phantom call, and in this song she's basically like; I don't hear you; I don't hear you. I'm afraid of what will happen if I follow you into the unknown. Those are her exact words.

If you haven't seen the movie, that's your homework assignment. I was joking with a friend of mine, “Well, no need for me to coach anymore. I can just tell my clients go watch this movie.” It's amazing, huge props to Jennifer Lee, who's behind these Disney films. I mean, what she's done for little girls and boys around the world with the storytelling, is really amazing.

Especially compared to all the Disney damsels in distress that I grew up with; the sleeping beauties and Rapunzels. I mean, these are complex themes, right? When is it good enough? How do I know if I should listen to that call? This is the work that all of us are doing, you and me.

Anyway, what do you do when you find yourself in this thinking? My advice is to at least get yourself to 50/50. Imagine both, a positive and negative outcome, for doing nothing. And, a positive and negative for the change. Have this kind of conversation with your brain to bring some emotional neutrality. And then, an extra pro tip, is to just really like your reasons.

So, one of the exercises that I recommend is: Imagine that you are talking to your granddaughter, years from now, about this point in your life. How are you telling the story of the decision you made? How do you feel about that decision? What were your reasons that really made you be able to tell this story with pride, as you're sitting with her?

All right, we've talked about black-and-white thinking, we talked about future perfect thinking. Now, let's go into self-limiting thinking. Which is I'm not going to go after that thing, because it wouldn't work anyway. This is where impostor syndrome comes from.

Or, too many other people are doing it. People wouldn't want to learn about it from me. I'm not ready yet, right? I'm not ready to start a podcast, yet. I don't want to reach out to that influencer. Nobody would pay me that much. We are all familiar with these, we all have these thoughts. on the daily.

And so, what we do when we don't take action, because of this kind of thinking, is that we fail in advance. Rather than actually trying and feel the shame of failing, we just don't take action. And we actually get the same result.

I remember my dad once, was mentoring a young man. My dad was a former Navy pilot. And this young man also wanted to go into the military, but he really was riddled with this kind of self-limiting thinking. About how, you know, why even bother? It was going to be such a hassle to apply. Probably wasn't going to get in anyway.

And my dad just said to him, “Well, if you don't make it in, then you'll just be exactly where you are right now. So, you have nothing to lose, you might as well do it.” And that young man has been happily serving for many years, as an Air Force pilot.

Sometimes we just need to get out of our way, and give the thing a try. So, the solution you're working yourself into, the action taking, is to gather contrary evidence. If you haven't listened to last week's Episode #8, How to Surpass What Your Brain Thinks Is Possible, go back and I give more detail on this.

But the truth is, you don't really need evidence, you just need belief. If you think about the famous story of Roger Bannister running the four-minute mile, nobody had done it before him. And he had no proof therefore, that anyone could do it. He wasn't gathering evidence of people doing this thing. But he just believed he could do it. And, he believed it enough until he made it a reality. And then, so many other people did it too.

So, this is of course, why we have coaches, why we have unbiased people that can help us question everything. This is why in the Clarity Accelerator, we start each module with a mindset topic, specifically addressing what we'll be doing in that module, so that we don't get stuck in these traps. And it's why every week, we are coaching on these topics.

We've got to question our thoughts and beliefs. We've got to get ourselves out of autopilot. We spend so much of our lives like this, driving down the street, and you don't really know if that light you passed was red or green; you just drove on autopilot.

So, stick around for the solution that's coming up, for the fourth way of thinking, because it also applies to this one. And that fourth way of thinking, is victim think. I'm powerless, because… Because of all this overwhelm, there's no way that I can do this. Because of these life events, there's no way that I can do this. I would love to do this. I could definitely do this. But there are all these reasons that I can't do it, outside of me.

But again, kind of taking this Roger Bannister example, what if you knew that every single woman starts a business while breastfeeding. That's just an example. I'm not saying that you should start a business while breastfeeding. From personal experience, it can be done. And so many other things can happen, too.

I mentioned that I was at my mastermind retreat a week ago, and there was a woman there who is building her business. She's a humanitarian, ex-humanitarian worker, but now, in her off time, she still contributes to the causes that she feels are most in need. And so, she is currently in the Ukraine, building her business. Starting up her coaching business, while contributing to relief efforts from the ground, in Ukraine.

And she just shared that example about how really, we can do so much more than we give ourselves credit for anyone. Anyone who would say you can't build a business in a war zone, she's like; actually, it can be done. So again, there's no judgement about what you decide to do. You are the driver of your life. This is just about making the cleanest decisions.

So, very simple question you can ask yourself, if you catch yourself in this type of thinking is; if accomplishing this from where I am now, we're pretty normal, how would I be thinking about it? How would I be making it happen? If I were guaranteed success, what I want to do this now?

So, I've walked you through four types of thinking that keep you playing small; you want to be on the lookout for these. If you're thinking; maybe where I am is good enough; maybe I don't really want to rock the boat. Those modes of thinking are black-and-white thinking, future perfect thinking, self-limiting thinking, and victim think.

Each of them is completely normal, we all do them. And we all need to snap out of them, so that we can make our best decisions. Like, let's not make decisions based on a brain tick. We can still make smart and calculated decisions that are also in alignment with what we actually want. Because while part of our brain wants to keep us safe, there's another impulse within us, too, right?

It's the one that's led mankind is spread out to every corner of the globe, to cross oceans, to go to the moon. Our souls seek expansion, just like the universe keeps expanding. That's part of us, just as much as our safety impulses. That's the part that says, and what else? And, there's more.

Now, just like the seasons, there is always a time to rest. Rest is what regenerates us and prepares us. But I believe that is seasonal, rather than permanent. Especially if you've found your way to me, or to the type of wisdom I've been exposed to. And I gotta tell you, staying still for too long probably isn't in the cards for you anyway; expansion is inevitable.

You can't silence it. Now, there's no rush, but the natural evolution of your soul is towards its greatest expression, which includes your leadership, your visibility, and abundance in every realm. If you're pulled to that way of thinking, it's because you're here to accelerate your evolution in this lifetime.

And you're not alone. So many women are being called to overturn millennia of disempowerment, repression, scarcity, all in this generation. That's no small feat. But we're doing it, aren't we? Together.

All right, my friends. That's it for this week. On a certain level, you know who you are. And every day you are stepping further into what you are here to create.

If you know that you have some sort of ceiling that is holding you back, but you just don't know what it is or how to bust through it. And you're dying to see what's on the other side, I can help you with that, my friend. You do not have to stay in the land of what ifs, any longer. I've come up against my own limitations and then broken my brain about what is actually possible, over and over.

You can listen to Episode 6 for some of my story, but I've surprised the hell out of myself, repeatedly. And I've helped my clients do it, too. This goes way beyond business coaching. Repeatedly, my clients have said things like, “You are so much more than just a business coach. You're better than my therapist. I've been in therapy for 20 years, and I've never gotten the kind of transformation that I have with you.”

And it's interesting, because I, myself, have been doing EMDR lately, with my own therapist. And I'm like; huh, I've been doing some of this kind of stuff with my clients. I just didn't know what it was called. I just intuitively knew that that's what was needed to get us our results, in some situations.

Sometimes we need to go deep, and we need to support your nervous system as we do. This is just what I do, I quantum leap the healing and evolution of my clients. But what does it actually look like to move beyond that cap or ceiling and reimagine everything?

I'm talking, a 22-year-old, straight out of college and all unsure, who now runs a wildly successful business with massive impact. And, oh yes, just also happens to bring in multiple six figures. Because that is a natural byproduct of centering yourself, and then removing the ways that you hold yourself back.

Or, another woman who had been chained to a job with this codependent boss, who greatly underutilized her talents. Who then quit that job of over 20 years, and started earning just as much with just a few freelance clients. But taking back so much more time for herself, and exponentially increasing her joy in the process.

Or another, who sold consumables through the internet, hiding behind a screen. But had a calling to share everything she'd learned with other women; she just didn't know what that could look like. And when she described it to me, I said without missing a beat; oh, you're going to turn your company into a spiritual lifestyle brand. And, it was instant clarity for her. Scary as hell, but instant knowing.

Once you see it, you can't unsee it. Or me, who sat in confusion for two decades only to now become the flippin’ queen of clarity. Are you kidding me? The me of only seven years ago, would have laughed out loud with that one. Anything is possible, my friends. And, the residual effects become almost more exciting than even the goal that we start out with.

Transforming your body, because you're no longer suppressing all of your disappointment with food. Or, ditching the loser boyfriend, because your own amazing worth becomes so glaringly obvious, that the partnership is now laughable. Or, moving cities or even countries, because when you untether your mind, you also untether your spirit.

If this type of complete makeover is calling to you, if you know this is your next work, I've got an invitation. I'm opening a spot for one private client. Typically, I constrain my private coaching to graduates of the Clarity Accelerator. But when I get a ping, I listen. My business is heavily guided by this knowingness. And this one is telling me to open up the spot; maybe for you.

Here's what we'll do together over six months:

We will cut out the years of confusion, frustration, unproductive, stuckness and huge investments that I have made, in order to figure out exactly what this process entails. So, that I can do it on repeat. We'll cut all of that out for you and just focus on these four simple things.

Number one, we are going to do a full inventory of where you are mentally. How do you think about your reality now? What are those beliefs and supposed circumstances that you've never even questioned? You think you just are the way you are? Think again?

Next, we'll question everything. Because you have to be willing to burn everything to the ground, in order to create what's even more extraordinary. I've loved watching Judd Apatow’s new documentary on HBO®, about the comedian George Carlin.

Because at the height of each point in his career, he would reinvent himself and step more fully into his own truth, leaving his current fans behind and willing to leave his current fans behind. But each time he just got more and more successful.

Third, we're going to construct your new identity, on purpose this time. How does she think? How does she see the world? What is she willing to receive that you aren't? And where's the disconnect right now? What's really holding you back? What aren't you willing to feel to get to the other side?

This is where many people stumble. They spend all their mental energy hanging out in the past, and let that past drive their actions, so they end up creating the same results over and over. We are not; we're going to create from your future.

And if you worry that you won't be able to, because you can't really even envision it, or you don't quite know what you want, don't worry. When you sign up for this work, when you commit with full seriousness, the universe conspires to get you focused.

And lastly, we're going to build it. We are going to create. We are going to take this beautiful vision out of the abstract, and turn it into concrete reality. This will not be a comfortable process. Most of the world holds themselves back from greatness, because they don't want to do the scary things.

Now, you'll have a different perspective by this point. You're going to think about reality and possibilities, from a much different place by the time we get here. But that will not let you escape discomfort. It won't help you escape your human brain that’s saying, “Nuh-uh. That’s too much. Changed my mind. Things are really pretty good right here, in the status quo.”

This is for you if you are a seven-or-six-figure earner, or perhaps near six figures. And I am happy to coach on business topics, because I don't think you can separate business and life. Entrepreneurship is the number one personal development journey. But the focus will be on transforming you, so that your world can mirror your transformation.

The right candidate has already accomplished some pretty amazing things in life. You have a history of challenging yourself. You know you're 100% capable. And, you know it's time to take it to the next level.

This level, these ideas you've been toying with, they feel a little different this time, don't they? And you're right, they are. Otherwise, you would have already done the damn thing. Come on, we know who we're dealing with. But your life has brought you here, specifically, so that you can be challenged, with the exact situations and decisions you're being challenged by.

It's not easy. But on the other side is the accomplishment; the sense of rightness, the arrival, the relief, the wealth, the joy, the connections, the peace of mind, the impact that you were born for.

It's simple to apply; you just head to my website or to the link in the description, schedule a call, and we'll get to know each other. I will be able to pinpoint, right then and there, the main things that have been keeping you stuck. And, you will know by the end of our call if this is for you or not.

I really get excited about these conversations, regardless of whether someone's coming to me for coaching or I'm applying to work with a coach, because they are always so clarifying. They always produce ah-ha’s.

And oh, by the way, if you're feeling a little bit nervous about the idea of a complete makeover, just know that you are always in control. You get to keep what you want to keep about your life, and up-level what you want to improve.

This is a serious multiple five-figure investment, where we're going to spend six months shattering your own glass ceiling. So that you can step fully into the potential of who you're really meant to be, at this point in your life. Once the spot is gone, it's gone.

Again, you'll find a link right here in this episode description. So, you can follow the nudge and book your call right away.

Hey, if you enjoyed today’s show, you do not want to miss next week’s. Seriously. Follow the show wherever you listen to your podcast, so you don’t miss an episode. And would you please, leave a super quick rating and review about this episode?

It’s how you’ll let me know what you liked and what you’re still curious about, so that I can create the most valuable content for you, going forward. As well as how you’ll help other highly-driven but slightly uncertain entrepreneurs find this show, and get the tools they need.

Thank you so much.

Here's why your help is essential. I need to know what resonated with you

Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity for Strategy for Growing and Scaling Your Business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.

Enjoy the Show?

Don’t miss an episode, follow the podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or Stitcher.

Ep #9: What We Get Wrong When We’re Unclear

Can you imagine how differently you would feel and act if you believed that you had all the clarity you need to get the results you want in your business? When you take that leadership stance in your brain, you’ll be amazed at what happens when it comes to clarity.

There is a huge misunderstanding that happens every time we’re unclear about something, but perspective is powerful. With the one small perspective shift that I’m sharing with you this week, you can unlock so many of the benefits already available to you and develop more clarity than you realize you have.

This week, I’m giving you something short and sweet that packs a punch. Discover what we get wrong when we’re unclear, the reason a change in perspective can be so powerful, and a practical example to help you get clear on this. I’m showing you how to stop striving and start arriving, and how to use one specific sentence to obtain the clarity you desire.

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If you know you have a ceiling holding you back, but don’t know what it is or how to bust through it, I can help you, my friend. You don’t have to stay in the land of “what ifs” any longer. I am opening up a spot for a 1:1 private client and I would love for us to get to know each other. If you are ready to follow the nudge, click here to schedule a call with me, I can’t wait to talk to you.

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What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

• What a thought error is and how it might show up in your life (even if you don’t realize it’s an error!)

• How to start believing that you have all the clarity you need within.

• The reason it feels frustratingly elusive when your brain doesn’t offer the clarity you crave.

• How realization always comes before results.

• One simple perspective shift that can change everything for you.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

• Want to work with me? Click here to find out how!

• Click here to sign up for my newsletter and find out how the Connect The Dots Method has helped clients in all stages of their business.

• If you would like help getting clear on what you are offering and how to talk about it, you have to join us in The Clarity Accelerator. It’s 60 of the best-spent days you’ll ever have, and you’ll get my eyes on your business and your messaging helping you dial all this in. There’s a spot available for September, so click here to schedule a call with me as soon as possible to learn more.

Full Episode Transcript:

There's a huge misunderstanding that happens every time we're unclear. And I want to clear that up, once and for all, today. Because there are so many benefits available to us when we just make this one small perspective shift, that I'm about to share with you.

You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life, by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top ranked business coach and reformed overanalyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.

Hey you, welcome back to The Uncommon Way, I am just coming back myself from my own mastermind. And, there's just no substitute for getting out of your own head, getting a different perspective, changing up your environment. And really being surrounded by high-level thinking, and a bunch of other women that are ambitious and absolutely making amazing things happen.

It's kind of like when you brush your teeth with your left hand rather than your right, if you're right-handed, obviously, just that act alone can inspire new thoughts and new ways of thinking. And, perspective is actually a topic for today.

So, this was leading into something but first, I really want to say thank you to a listener. So, this is a review from Geraldine Mock. And she says, “Hey, Jenna, I've been catching up on your podcasts the last couple of days. As a new coach, I find your content really helpful and thought provoking for me. Clarity is needed at every step of the way, indeed. And thanks for reminding me that I need to craft my messaging in a way that connects with my people and meet them where they are. Would love to hear more about building a business without having to rely on social media.”

So, I love that because I've been asking for your topics, for your feedback on what's working, what's not working, so that we, as founding members of this podcast, can create something really different and special. So, I can absolutely see why that would be interesting to someone starting out, to just hear about even the possibility of having a business that doesn't rely on social media. So, thank you, Geraldine Mock, I will absolutely do an upcoming episode talking just about that.

But today, what I want to talk about, is what we get wrong when we are unclear. Because usually, how we feel is that there's this stuckness and we can't do anything about it. At least that's how I felt when I was in my two decades lacking clarity. And then, when I was building my business, as well. So, there was a lot of beating myself up, a lot of ugh, why isn't this working? And I hear this over and over again from my clients, so I know it's not just me.

And really, what's going on in these moments, is a thought error. So, a thought error is just when you're thinking something, and that thought is not actually producing the results you want. And it's not necessarily even accurate. So, it's a just something that your brain comes up with. It's just a sentence in your brain to describe your perception. And it feels so real in the moment, but it's not.

Now, you might be saying, Jenna, no, I really am unclear about this thing. And I just want you to know, I am not dismissing your experience at all, that is 100% what's going on for you. But what's driving that situation is the way you're thinking. So, I'll go into more detail, of course, but here's the bluff.

That's a military term, it means the bottom-line up front; you can choose clarity, it is available to you. That's right. Clarity is a choice. So, you think that clarity is something outside you or it's not available to you right now. Maybe it's something that you need, in order to inspire you or to make things clear. We think, oh, if I give it time, right, the time is outside of me, if I give it time, that is what will get me clear.

Or, if I try this other thing, right, then that will force everything to click. Right, maybe that's the funnel, or this new hashtag strategy, or the copywriter. But those things are all outside of you, so they never work.

I have so many friends that are ad experts and copywriters and they just love my clients. My clients make great testimonials for them. Because when other people come to them, they're expecting miracles and they don't really have the underlying clarity, so the copywriter’s like, I got nothing. Right? How do you expect me to know your people better than you, and who those people actually are?

But when my clients are able to come with something really meaty, and then you turn that into a Facebook® ad, or then you work with a copywriter, right, magic can happen, and it makes such great testimonials for them. And it all starts with a sentence: My clarity is within. And, it's just like changing your perspective.

It's changing your perspective from, I can't get clear, to, my clarity is within, my clarity is here. And perspective can be so powerful. Like today, I was dropping my son off for his last day of preschool; sniff. And I noticed that it gave me just this instant clarity about what really matters. All of a sudden, I was so focused on every moment, every step, every smile from his teachers, every sweet little look, all the things that he's learned to do; we go straight to wash his hands.

And just thinking back to this first day there, and comparing it to now, it made every moment so special. But just a couple days ago, I didn't have that perspective right then. I was thinking about how much I needed to do today, how long he'd been stalling to get into the car, how rushed for time I was; dammit, why can't he just, you know, move forward?

So, it was the exact same motions that I was going through, but with totally different awareness. It's like a remembering, right? It's like realizing what was there, and you just weren't quite seeing it in that way. But when your brain is not offering up this clarity within, it can feel so frustratingly elusive, right? Like this big tangle of thoughts and ideas. And, you just want someone who can take all the confusion and like transmute it into something.

There's, I think we have this concept of coal turning into a diamond. Like, here's the coal and if we just apply the pressure, right, then we're going to somehow untangle all these chemical bonds, and it's going to coalesce into this beautiful, clear crystalline structure, where all the light can flow through. And I'm telling you, that transmutation doesn't happen until you first open the door to knowingness. Realizations always come before results.

So, this is what we get wrong. We think clearer, just means a lack of confusion. But really clear is a state of being. So, clarity is the emanating of that state of clear. The being state of clarity is what allows the mental state of clarity. It's crazy. I know. But it's a chicken and the egg thing. Luckily, like I said, All it takes is that shift in perspective.

Here's a practical example. When I get into that space of confusion, because I do, right, this is what brains do. My brain steps back into confusion, back into thinking the answer is something I need outside of me. But when I finally catch that happening, I remind myself; Oh, no, I absolutely know what to do. Right?

Or, oh, no, I absolutely know who my people are. Or, oh, no, I know how to solve this. And it's like the voice in your head with the most conviction wins. It is amazing. It silences all the other voices. They're like; Oh, we do? This is something that I learned from my coach, Stacey Boehman. And it was one of those truth bombs, that I was like; I've got to try this out. And it worked.

So, when you take that leadership stance in your brain, you'd be amazed what can happen, especially with clarity. So often, the brain is like; alright, she's really doing it, right. She's really hiring the coach, she's really going to sit down now in this podcast interview, I might as well offer up the truth, right, I might as well make this available to her now. Because an even stronger driver would be her falling flat on the face, right? I don't want that.

What the brain really wants is just for you not to take the step in the first place, not to step into the light, right? It wants you to stay in that comfort zone of, exactly what is working and what's not working in that moment for you. But when you raise the stakes, when you start acting as if, there's amazing shifts that can happen.

These thought errors, this misguided perspective is why so many new businesses fail. It's that energy of; this isn't working. I don't know what to do. I don't know what they want. This is too hard. It's all driven by the primitive brain that wants you to stay exactly where you are, and live no more and no less than your current life.

And that keeps us from seeing the solutions available to us, the opportunities available to us, to figuring it out, to getting the support, to creating momentum from that place. Just imagine how differently you'd be feeling and acting if you believed; my clarity is right here. I know exactly who I am. I know who my people are. I know what they want. I know what they're dying to hear. I know why I'm the best person to help them. I may not see it in this instance.

But it's a heartbeat away, it's just going to click, because that is exactly what happens. Right? It'll be when you're in the shower then, or when you're taking your dog for a walk, I swear, that's where I get my inspiration. Once the door is open, the light starts to trickle through. Sometimes, it happens like you've opened the floodgates. And other times, it's that little drip, and then the next one, and the next one that lets you know, it's happening, it's working.

The more you experience this in your body, the more willing you are to start making these declarations in your mind, to start believing it always has been there. And that all that's going on right now, is that your brain is obscuring the truth. If you really believed that, if, instead of talking right now, I had given you some pill, and then when you take that pill, you just are in my brain, you absolutely believe the things that I believe.

How much differently do you show up? What risks are you willing to take? What courage and resources do you suddenly find within? How committed are you to doing what it takes? How worthy do you feel of being in the room of taking up space of being visible? Of hiring the right support, of surrounding yourself with the best people, of taking a fucking break for once?

You're not spending all that mental energy, like trying to push the rock up the hill, you're already at the top of the hill. It all changes, when you change. And that's when the results start happening, and faster than makes any logical sense. Because clarity doesn't live in the land of logic. It lives in the knowingness, the tapping in, the insight. That is when you stop striving and start arriving. And that's available to you as soon as you're open to receiving it.

Alright, my friends, I wanted to give you something short that packed a punch. But with this little seed planted in your brain, let's just see what happens. And remember, on a certain level, you know who you are. And every day you're stepping further into what you're here to create.

Hey, if you enjoyed today’s show, you do not want to miss next week’s. Seriously. Follow the show wherever you listen to your podcast so you don’t miss an episode. And would you please, leave a super quick rating and review about this episode?

It’s how you’ll let me know what you liked and what you’re still curious about, so that I can create the most valuable content for you, going forward. As well as, you’ll help other highly driven but slightly uncertain entrepreneurs find this show, and get the tools they need. Thank you so much.

Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity for Strategy for Growing and Scaling Your Business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.

Enjoy the Show?

Don’t miss an episode, follow the podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or Stitcher.

Ep #8: How to Surpass What Your Brain Thinks Is Possible

Do you ever feel like you need to see the evidence before you can truly believe in something? Do you ever think things like “When I start making more money, then I’ll know I can start investing in my business.” Or “When people engage with my social media, then I’ll know my content resonates?” Well, what would you say if I told you that kind of thinking just perpetuates more of the same results you’re already creating?

When we think about what’s possible, we have a bias toward what’s happened in the past and we use this to determine our future results and possibilities. This is how we’ve been taught, and how our brain naturally works. We think that evidence creates belief, but the truth is that it is the other way around: belief creates evidence. And understanding this simple fact is the key to making a change and creating the results you desire in your life and business.

We can’t just sit back and wait for evidence to build itself, we have to get out there and build it for ourselves. So this week, I’m helping you transform your relationship with possibility and showing you how to use it to start creating results you can only dream of. I’m showing you how to really ground in to see how to open yourself to the truth of what’s possible, and sharing two simple but effective practices you can do right now to change your beliefs and transform your life.

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If you know you have a ceiling holding you back, but don’t know what it is or how to bust through it, I can help you, my friend. You don’t have to stay in the land of “what ifs” any longer. I am opening up a spot for a 1:1 private client and I would love for us to get to know each other. If you are ready to follow the nudge, click here to schedule a call with me, I can’t wait to talk to you.

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What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

• Why affirmations by themselves don’t work to create manifestation.

• A very common fear among new coaches that’s completely baseless.

• How to use this work to create what you want in life.

• Why you shouldn’t look for the vanity metrics in business and what you should be looking for instead.

• Two simple but transformative practices to build belief for something you don’t think is believable (They’re WAY more effective than ladder beliefs.).

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

• Want to work with me? Click here to find out how!

• Click here to sign up for my newsletter and find out how the Connect The Dots Method has helped clients in all stages of their business.

• If you would like help getting clear on what you are offering and how to talk about it, you have to join us in The Clarity Accelerator. It’s 60 of the best-spent days you’ll ever have, and you’ll get my eyes on your business and your messaging helping you dial all this in. There’s a spot available for September, so click here to schedule a call with me as soon as possible to learn more.

• Ep #4: The Science of Nonconformity with Vasily Klucharev

• Ep #6: How Entrepreneurship Made Me Woo

Full Episode Transcript:

A lot of you, as coaches, know about ladder beliefs. You can start stepping into your belief by saying, “Maybe, someday, I'll believe it's possible that I could X,” and you can baby step your way closer, and closer, and closer over time, until you're at your full belief.

That's not what we're going to talk about today. We're going to talk about the very hard work, but very simple work, that I have my clients do, over and over and over again, to completely change their lives.

You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life, by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top ranked business coach and reformed overanalyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.

Hey, friends, welcome back to The Uncommon Way. I just got home from a morning walk with my puppy, Sky. We were just kind of meandering along the streams, looking up at the beautiful oak trees here, in Pennsylvania. I noticed this difference in the weather, this shift in that the really hot days of summer broke, and now we have this little bit of coolness in the air. And, there's not a cloud in the sky.

Just those changes in conditions, help this feeling of being completely limitless. You know what I'm talking about, right? You've been there. And so, I just knew that I had to come back and hop on the mic. We're doing this very extemporaneously, but I have a very ambitious goal; I want to transform your relationship with possibility.

Today, we're going to do that through talking about the mechanics of what creates our results. Also, really grounding into how we can open ourselves to the truth of what's possible. And from there, create new results. And I'm going to give you two key practices, they're very, very simple. But just doing these two things will absolutely transform your life. Before we get there, I did want to thank a podcast reviewer.

Okay, this is from NeighborLover, “I really enjoy this podcast! Jenna's voice is very pleasant to listen to (Thank you) and she speaks with relaxed authority. The way she combines mindset with tactics is quite effective because she DOESN’T GIVE TOO MANY TACTICS all at once. She gives just enough for them to feel doable. Jenna speaks about experience, potential pitfalls, and mindset shifts, and THEN sprinkles in enough tactics to make the podcast feel very valuable. I can't wait to listen to more.” Well, thank you, NeighborLover, for that review.

I think it really highlights how much we can do from these reviews, from this conversation that we have in the review section. Because I know from working with clients, that my clients like a combination of tactics and mindset. Do they like that in podcast form? I don't know. I've never done a podcast before. But apparently, according to NeighborLover, that's really helpful.

And what is also helpful, is not having too many of the tactics. So, this is the kind of feedback that I would love to encourage you to think about and leave. It doesn't have to be a glowing review, although thank you to everyone who has had such positive things to say. It can really be, maybe you listened to the Klucharev interview on nonconformity, and you came up with some unanswered questions. And, you'd really like those answered in a follow up interview.

Or, maybe you want to tell me what you do like, and something that you want to hear more of. Maybe there's a topic that you want to hear about. I want to hear about all of this. And, the best way to do that is in the review section. Because we together, you as founding members and I, we're creating this from the ground up.

Since we're talking about possibility and potential today, there's no better way to create the possibility and potential of this podcast, and specifically of this podcast’s ability to transform your life, than to join with me in creating what it's going to be. So, please do communicate with me that way. If you've already left a review, you can leave another review. That's the beauty of it. You just keep the conversation going there, so that I can really make sure this is exactly what you need.

All right. Moving on. Where do you think possibility comes from? Possibility really comes from your state of mind. And, this is so difficult for us to really wrap our brains around on a practical level. It's something that most of us, as coaches and personal development seekers, can do intellectually. But when we bring it into the practical level, it's very difficult. Our brains are really wired to look at everything we learned in the past, and then make assumptions about what will happen in the future.

But the truth is, we don't know. Right? None of us could have predicted, well actually, a lot of us predicted the pandemic, that was a terrible example. But in our day-to-day life, we weren't going around thinking about this pandemic and what that could mean for us. We will often think about, when we think about what's possible, we just naturally have a bias towards what has happened in the past, right?

If we've earned this much, we can probably earn incrementally more. If we've worked in this type of industry, and the normal, you know, career trajectory is X, then that's probably where we'll end up. But in truth, we determine our results and our possibilities. And mechanically, we know this is true, because we know that what we're thinking about influences our feelings, right?

And then from there, our feelings really drive our actions. And our actions produce different results. We have to be careful with each one of those steps though. Because, for instance, this is why affirmations by themselves don't work to create manifestation. So, you can have a thought like; I could sign a client today. And that can be so exciting for you, it generates this feeling of excitement. And then, you go forward from there, and you just show up in with this excited state of mind. You're speaking to your people from the heart. You are open to new opportunities and possibilities. You're just kind of scanning, maybe your social media feed, or you're listening to conversations, and you're just out there to serve. And, it just feels so exciting. This might lead to results that include a client being signed, and probably a lot more.

But what if you have been saying that to yourself, because someone told you, you should for thirty days? For thirty days, you have been saying, “I could sign a client today,” and you haven't signed a client. Let's say sixty days. Let's say ninety days. How does that thought actually make you feel in reality?

You might feel disappointed. And then, all of the actions you take are fueled by that sense of disappointment. But it can lead to even darker emotions, maybe that leads to disgust. You're just disgusted with yourself for not being able to figure this out, already. I mean, come on, it's been ninety days. You are just so fueled with this sense of; maybe they don't like me, right? Maybe this isn't even possible? You start to generate some anger; maybe this whole coaching industry is just a giant Ponzi scheme.

All of those emotions are fueling your actions, which may end up then being Netflix®, that may be your action for the day. Or, it could just be you going through the motions and doing the things, and really thinking about what you think your clients need to hear in order to get that client. What's the lowest common denominator client that you can speak to? And really tap into their pain, because that's what the marketing gurus have told you to do. Enough that you can, like, persuade them through urgency or whatever to sign with you. It's completely different.

That is why you really need to be careful about the affirmations you say, or the things that you think you need to think. And why, for coaches that understand this, so much of our coaching time with our clients is really helping them find the thoughts that actually work for them, and feel believable at the same time.

Now, those of you that have been listening to all of these episodes, might have heard my episode on energetics, and how I wasn't actually taking any action to bring in the clients that came to me through Google®.

I would just remind you that I had taken action in the past, I had developed this relationship with my future clients, by way of really getting to know these people. Understanding them and suspending the way I thought they should think. And then, turning that into messaging that I tested, and made sure actually resonated with them. So, there was that.

But also, in your A line, in your action line, you can put things like holding the belief, right? So, just because you say you think something doesn't mean you believe it. When I had created this messaging that I knew worked with people, I knew resonated with people, it helped me establish the belief that people would find that and would click with it, and would be motivated to get on a call with me.

So, this is an example of, no matter how much coaching you've done, even if you teach people about this every day, my own brain was able to hold the belief because I had created this past evidence. However, there are times in your life where you don't want to rely on past evidence. Why? Because we know how much we have a filter, as we look out of the world.

And so, let me give you an example of this. I had a client who had a belief that only coaches that helped people make money, such as business coaches, those were the only ones that would actually make money themselves. Those were the only people that could actually have a successful business, where people that were helping others make money.

Now, what she wanted to do was not help people make money. And so, she was in this cycle of thinking her business was never going to work. So, I asked her to put out a post in a really large Facebook® group of entrepreneurs, that we both belong to, asking if people could share their recommendations about coaches that inspired them, that were very successful, and that we're not specifically teaching people how to make money.

Because I knew, that I see so many of these people out there. To me, there was no question about whether this is possible. I mean, people make a million dollars teaching knitting online. Of course, they could do the deep transformative work that this client of mine was going to be doing with her clients.

So, my client put out a post. And honestly, it took a while to get to the point of the question, the question was a little further down. I think maybe people were scrolling. They didn't read the whole thing. But she only got a couple of responses back. And some of those responses were; what exactly are you looking for? And she used that as evidence to further her belief that; see? It's true. People can't even name successful coaches that don't help people make money.

Now, I know a lot of new coaches think this, it's a very, very normal fear, in the beginning. I don't tend to attract people like this anymore, because I'm no longer marketing to; hey, if the reason you haven't been making money is because you haven't had these clarity pieces, right? You haven't known yourself and your true secret sauce, and you haven't known what your people are really wanting, and then how to speak about that to them.

I used to say, “This is why you haven't been making money, and I can help you make money.” And so, I was attracting people that really only invested if they were going to make money. If they thought they were going to make money directly, that was why it was worth it to them to invest.

And so, they tended to believe that other people held that same worldview, and would also only invest if they had some sort of guaranteed financial return. Right. So, even though I believe that passionately, I don't talk about it.

I'm willing to sacrifice that part of my messaging, in order to draw in the clients that really deeply want the clarity work, and are also able to sell services that don't just help people get money. Okay, I thought that was important to share. So, you could see it from that perspective.

But back to the story. I knew something had to be going on here. And so, I went into the exact same Facebook group, I created like a one-line question, very simple. I put it out there; we got over 200 comments with suggestions for coaches that we should check out.

I just had to laugh. To my client, I said, “Be careful what you ask for,” because now she had over 200 websites she had to go through and look at, in order to build belief for herself. But here's what this story is illustrating for us. And I want you to just pause what you're doing right now, and really tune in to what I'm about to say.

We think that evidence creates belief, but actually, belief creates evidence. What do I mean by that? My client thought that she had been seeing this in the world, right? She had just looked around and noticed, as if she were, you know, watching the news or something. These are the facts reported, that you don't make money unless you're teaching people how to make money.

And, she had all this evidence to prove it because she had never seen it. And, her brain was helping her build more evidence by focusing on all the other entrepreneurs who were complaining about not being able to make money, if you're not helping people make money.

So, this was just compounding her evidence. And it was just, you know, reinforcing this belief. So, her point of view is; I can't change this belief, because look at all this evidence. I would be delusional to change this belief.

But here's the thing, when you're able to change your belief, and this is a bit of a mind bender, right? How can you believe new things? But once you're able to do it, the evidence in your life changes. Because the part of your brain that has been scanning all of the information for you, starts bringing you the information that supports that belief.

So, the way I think of this is, if we had a really, really talented executive assistant, I call her Miss Peterkins in my mind, and she is one of these people that pretty much can run the company, without the CEO. She's really the person behind the scenes that is making things happen. And, she's been with this company for ever, right? She knows the ins and outs, and she knows that her very visionary boss, or she believes that sometimes her visionary boss goes off on tangents.

So, she will sit there taking notes diligently, as the boss says, “I've got this gut feeling. This is the direction we're going now. This is really what I want to create in my life. Let's go do this completely new thing.” She sits there nodding her head, and then she goes back to her office and she does exactly what she has been doing that has kept the company successful. It takes effort to really convince Miss Peterkins that you're serious. That you are going to create new results. That you do want new possibilities in your life.

And yet, that work can be done, right? That actually can happen. And it's amazing, because once you get her on your side, she is so capable that it just flows, it becomes so much easier. All of a sudden, like I said, she's the one bringing the evidence to you that you didn't even realize you were asking for.

You're looking through your feed, and all of a sudden, this article pops out to you. And it's this article, that this respected publication, like Forbes™ has put out, that's talking about all of these coaches that don't help people make money, and yet they are killing it in business.

That only happened because your beliefs were strong enough to transfer those instructions to the part of your brain that is scanning for this information. And that evidence then helps you create more evidence, and more evidence, and more evidence.

But here's the thing, guys, we can't just sit back and wait for this to happen, which is what so many of us do. When I sign the clients, then I'll start believing this as possible, right? Or, when I sign the clients, then I'll start believing I'm worthy of investing in myself. Or, when people start saying nice things about me, then I'll know that my coaching is helpful. Or, when they start engaging with my social media, then I'll know that this content resonates.

Again, like I've said, I have had so many clients come through that have never liked or commented on my social media. But it was motivating enough for them to feel a shift, an internal shift, that was strong enough that they knew they needed more. And, they were coming to work with me. That is the kind of results, when you're in business, that you need to be looking for, not the vanity metrics.

So, you might be thinking; okay, Jenna. But how do we actually establish these new beliefs, when we really don't believe it's possible? A lot of you, as coaches, know about ladder beliefs. You can start stepping into your belief by saying, “Maybe, someday, I'll believe it's possible that I could X,” and you can baby step your way closer, and closer, and closer over time, until you're at your full belief.

That's not what we're going to talk about today. We're going to talk about the very hard work, but very simple work, that I have my clients do, over and over and over again, to completely change their lives. It starts like this.

And, it may not surprise you to know that one of these is work that you do within, and one of these is work that you do without, outside of yourself. Because that is how we roll here at The Uncommon Way. There's always our internal work, and then the feedback that we need from the universe around us.

So, the first thing that you need to do, is the internal work. Whatever it is that you aren't quite believing yet, you have to do the work of assisting your brain in believing that, by sitting down with a journal, or a voice recorder, or just going on a walk with your dog, and thinking about all the ways that the complete opposite is true.

Here's an example: You have identified a belief that you know is not helpful, it's not driving the helpful thoughts. It's not driving the helpful feelings, or the helpful actions, and it's not creating the results that you want. And this thought is; I gotta be honest, I really don't believe I could sign a client today.

First of all, congratulate yourself, hallelujah for that awareness. You didn't keep going on autopilot, forcing it. And, just trying to muscle through with this programming that's not even working for you. But where might it be true? If it were true, what would I be seeing right now? Or, what would be an indicator? And it doesn't have to be from without, but anything you can think about here, journal it down.

Well, the truth is… Of course, my brain hasn't been focusing on this because there's a natural negativity bias. And on top of that, we have this confirmation bias, that wants to confirm that we already know what we know. But if I go back and look at the facts, I have actually been building my email list. More and more people have been coming on to my list and sticking around for something.

Or, you know, the truth is, I do get people DMing me more, and asking me for advice in ways that didn't used to happen. Or, there was that person who said she wanted to work with me and just wasn't going to do it now. And, that hasn't actually happened before. And you know, what else? Now that I remember it, there a lot of people out there that say that you need a certain number of no’s, before you get to your first yes; I have been getting some no’s. I have been acquiring some no’s.

Hmm. I guess that I don't really believe that I would never get a client. If I sit down with myself, I mean, someday I'll get a client. I don't know if I'm going to have a six-figure business. But there's probably going to be one person out there in the world.

Oh, you know what? That's a really good way of thinking about it. There are how many, you know, billions of people in the world? There's got to be one person that wants this help. I know I would have given anything.

Okay, that's a good way of… Yeah, let's talk about that. I would have given anything for this work. Why wouldn't people want this work? Yeah.

And what's naturally going to happen, is your brain then is going to start problem solving for you. Where else could I try to get in front of my people? Have I just not found my right people? Is there something, some reason that maybe I've been projecting a certain thing into my messaging, and I'm not calling in my right people? Is it that my own disbelief, has been leading me to speak to the kind of person that I feel like I need to convince, rather than the person that is hungry for it, and wants it right now?

This is the beauty of doing this work. And we think it's impossible, we think; I know the truth. The truth is, I'm not signing clients. The truth is, I'm not going to sign a client today, because I've gone ninety days, and I haven't signed a client.

But you don't know, my friend, you don't know. And your lens is filtering your idea of what's possible for you. Now from there, remember, we want to work with the brain; we want to understand Miss Peterkins and how she works. And really facilitate this for her, so that the belief can sink in. So, then I would suggest you go out and you find external proof.

You can't expect this to just come to you; you need to go look for it. You need to do this work. You need to start asking in Facebook groups; who are people that kind of had a dry run and went for a few months, and then signed a client? You know people are going to respond to that, because it happens to all of us.

But it would be helpful if you can get more detail on it. Maybe someone will be willing to hop on the phone. You want to step in to the excitement that they felt when things just kind of came together. When they realized something, and they'll share what it was maybe that they realized, that then created this shift for them.

You can go out and search for how people are looking for this exact thing. Again, you could do this in a Facebook group, just asking people to share examples. Or, you could go Google it, you can get really creative. I'm not going to give you all the ways you could do this. This is part of the fun, right? This is your detective work.

I used to have a belief that my marriage would erode if my business got too successful. And of course, I didn't realize that right away, but once we identified it, this is the exact work that I did. I started finding proof of very successful women and their relationships that had stood the test of that transformation, of one partner.

I've got good news for you. Sometimes, this can happen in an instant. This is helpful if you have a really trusted relationship with your coach, because you can borrow their belief. So, I've had so many times where I've presented something that I just thought was a fact, it's just the way it is, to my coach. And my coach has said, “No, that's not how it is at all. It actually works this way. Here, let me show you how it's true.”

That alone has been a shift for me. That alone has created a shift. Sometimes it doesn't work like that, we have more entrenched beliefs, that's okay. This is exciting because when you have an entrenched belief like that, and you are able to transform it, you understand the power that you have for everything, going forward.

You understand that you basically have to break your brain, you have to break everything that it thought it knew. And you have to create the possibility from within. you step into the driver's seat, there are no limitations. What you're capable of is so much more than you realize. And it's what you've always known is possible.

You aren't here listening to this because you think you are going to have a life of mediocrity. You're here because you know that there's a power within that hasn't been tapped into. You know that it's possible for you to create results, like no one around you would believe. That you, yourself, wouldn't believe.

And what we're doing here, is we're just stepping into the possibility. We start out with something very small, a belief that we want to change that doesn't have too many teeth in it, right? It's not going to completely effect our identity, our sense of identity. It's not going to completely challenge our worldview. It's very accessible. It's some small belief.

Then, we start to tackle bigger beliefs, more entrenched beliefs, until we get to the point where we're like; what the fuck do I want to create in life? All right, let's go do it. That sounds amazing. Would people really pay that much for coaching? Could I really make that much in a year? Could I really have this kind of impact?

That all depends on you; no one but you. I'll leave you with that today, my friends. Any questions or thoughts about this episode, please let me know in the reviews. And, I look forward to being with you again next week. And just remember, on a certain level, you know who you are, and what you are capable of. And every day, you're stepping further into what you're here to create.

If you know that you have some sort of ceiling that is holding you back, but you just don't know what it is or how to bust through it, and you're dying to see what's on the other side, I can help you with that, my friend. You do not have to stay in the land of what if’s, any longer. I've come up against my own limitations, and then broken my brain about what is actually possible, over and over.

You can listen to Episode 6 for some of my story, but I've surprised the hell out of myself repeatedly. And I've helped my clients do it, too. This goes way beyond business coaching. Repeatedly, my clients have said things like; you are so much more than just a business coach. You're better than my therapist. I've been in therapy for twenty years, and I've never gotten the kind of transformation that I have with you.

And it's interesting, because I, myself, have been doing EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) lately, with my own therapist. And I'm like; huh, I've been doing some of this kind of stuff with my clients. I just didn't know what it was called. I just intuitively knew that that's what was needed to get us our results in some situations.

Sometimes we need to go deep, and we need to support your nervous system as we do. This is just what I do, I quantum leap the healing and evolution of my clients. But what does it actually look like to move beyond that cap or ceiling, and reimagine everything? I'm talking, a 22-year-old straight out of college and all unsure, who now runs a wildly successful business with massive impact. And, oh yes, just also happens to bring in multiple six figures, because that is a natural byproduct of centering yourself and then removing the ways that you hold yourself back.

Or, another woman, who had been chained to a job with this codependent boss, who greatly underutilized her talents, who then quit that job of over twenty years, and started earning just as much with just a few freelance clients. But taking back so much more time for herself, and exponentially increasing her joy in the process.

Or, another, who sold consumables through the internet, hiding behind a screen, but had a calling to share everything she'd learned with other women. She just didn't know what that could look like. And when she described it to me, I said, without missing a beat, “Oh, you're going to turn your company into a spiritual lifestyle brand.” It was instant clarity for her; scary as hell, but instant knowing. Once you see it, you can't unsee it.

Or, me, who sat in confusion for two decades only to now become the flippin’ queen of clarity. Are you kidding me? The me, of only seven years ago, would have laughed out loud with that one. Anything is possible, my friends. And, the residual effects become almost more exciting than even a goal that we start out with.

Transforming your body, because you're no longer of suppressing all of your disappointment with food. Or, ditching the loser boyfriend because your own amazing worth becomes so glaringly obvious that the partnership is now laughable. Or, moving cities or even countries, because when you untether your mind, you also untether your spirit.

If this type of complete makeover is calling to you, if you know this is your next work, I've got an invitation. I'm opening a spot for one private client. Typically, I constrain my private coaching to graduates of the Clarity Accelerator. But when I get a ping, I listen. My business is heavily guided by this knowingness. And this one is telling me to open up the spot, maybe for you.

Here's what we'll do together over six months: We will cut out the years of confusion, frustration, unproductive stuckness, and huge investments, that I have made, in order to figure out exactly what this process entails. So, that I can do it on repeat. We'll cut all of that out for you and just focus on these four simple things.

Number one, we are going to do a full inventory of where you are mentally. How do you think about your reality now? What are those beliefs and supposed in circumstances, that you've never even questioned? You think you just are the way you are? Think again.

Next, we'll question everything. Because you have to be willing to burn everything to the ground, in order to create what's even more extraordinary. I've loved watching Judd Apatow’s new documentary on HBO® about the comedian George Carlin. Because at the height of each point in his career, he would reinvent himself and step more fully into his own truth, leaving his current fans behind and willing to leave his current fans behind. But each time he just got more and more successful.

Third, we're going to construct your new identity, on purpose this time. How does she think? How does she see the world? What is she willing to receive that you aren't? And, where's the disconnect right now? What's really holding you back? What aren't you willing to feel, to get to the other side?

This is where many people stumble. They spend all their mental energy hanging out in the past, and let that past drive their actions. So, they end up creating the same results over and over. We are not; we're going to create from your future. And if you worry that you won't be able to, because you can't really even envision it, or you don't quite know what you want, don't worry. When you sign up for this work, when you commit with full seriousness, the universe conspires to get you focused.

And lastly, we're going to build it. We are going to create. We are going to take this beautiful vision out of the abstract and turn it into concrete reality. This will not be a comfortable process. Most of the world holds themselves back from greatness, because they don't want to do the scary things.

Now, you'll have a different perspective by this point. You're going to think about reality and possibilities from a much different place by the time we get here. But that will not let you escape discomfort. It won't help you escape your human brain, that’s saying, “Nuh-uh, that’s too much. Changed my mind. Things are really pretty good, right here in the status quo.”

This is for you if you are a seven or six-figure earner, or perhaps near six figures. And I am happy to coach on business topics, because I don't think you can separate business and life. Entrepreneurship is the number one personal development journey. But the focus will be on transforming you, so that your world can mirror your transformation.

The right candidate has already accomplished some pretty amazing things in life. You have a history of challenging yourself. You know you're 100% capable. And, you know it's time to take it to the next level.

This level, these ideas you've been toying with, they feel a little different this time, don't they? And you're right, they are. Otherwise, you would have already done the damn thing. Come on, we know who we're dealing with. But your life has brought you here specifically, so that you can be challenged with the exact situations and decisions you're being challenged by.

It's not easy. But on the other side is the accomplishment; the sense of rightness, the arrival, the relief, the wealth, the joy, the connections, the peace of mind, the impact that you were born for.

It's simple to apply; you just head to my website or to the link in the description, schedule a call, and we'll get to know each other. I will be able to pinpoint, right then in there, the main things that have been keeping you stuck. And you will know, by the end of our call, if this is for you or not.

I really get excited about these conversations, regardless of whether someone's coming to me for coaching, or I'm applying to work with a coach, because they are always so clarifying. They always produce ah-ha’s.

And oh, by the way, if you're feeling a little bit nervous about the idea of a complete makeover, just know that you are always in control. You get to keep what you want to keep about your life, and up-level what you want to improve.

This is a serious multiple five-figure investment, where we're going to spend six months shattering your own glass ceiling, so that you can step fully into the potential of who you're really meant to be, at this point in your life. Once this spot is gone, it's gone.

Again, you'll find a link right here in this episode description, so you can follow the nudge and book your call right away.

Hey, if you enjoyed today's show, you do not want to miss next week's, seriously. Follow the show wherever you listen to your podcasts, so you don't miss an episode. And, what do you please leave a super quick rating and review about this episode? It's how you'll let me know what you liked and what you're still curious about, so I can create the most valuable content for you going forward. As well as, how you'll help other highly driven but slightly uncertain entrepreneurs find this show and get the tools they need. Thank you so much.

Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity for Strategy for Growing and Scaling Your Business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.

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Ep #7: 5 Steps to Nail Your Messaging

Do you ever wonder if your words are even landing with your people? Do you wish you knew how to use your words to call in your ideal clients? It doesn’t have to be the big mystery and pain point you might be experiencing it as. Why? Because people will tell you everything you need to know.

You might think you need the cool-girl copy, snappy language, and to present yourself as someone they want to hang out with. Or you might feel like you need persuasion copy to put the urgency on your client to buy. But the truth is you don’t need any of those things. All you have to do to nail your messaging is follow the five simple steps I’m outlining for you this week.

In this episode, I’m sharing the big secret that conversion copywriters understand and charge a fortune for and showing you how to use it to grow your business in a grounded, aligned way. I’m showing you why no amount of marketing or fun copy can make up for a lack of good messaging, and the 5 steps to nailing your messaging.

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What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

• How to become an expert on your people.

• What to actually do in order to create effective messaging.

• The stage that 80-85% of new entrepreneurs skip in their businesses, the reason they do so and why it’s a problem.

• Where true resonance begins and why it’s what sells.

• Some examples of where you might be letting your limiting beliefs get in the way of your future.

• Why your people will resonate if you have great messaging.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

• Want to work with me? Click here to find out how!

• Click here to sign up for my newsletter and find out how the Connect The Dots Method has helped clients in all stages of their business.

• If you would like help getting clear on what you are offering and how to talk about it, you have to join us in The Clarity Accelerator. It’s 60 of the best-spent days you’ll ever have, and you’ll get my eyes on your business and your messaging helping you dial all this in. There’s a spot available for September, so click here to schedule a call with me as soon as possible to learn more.

• Ep #5: Knowing Your People 101

Full Episode Transcript:

Do you wonder if your words are even landing with your people? Do you wish you knew how to use your words to call in ideal clients? Well, I have got some good news. At its core, this really isn't rocket science. It doesn't have to be the big mystery and pain point that you might be experiencing it as.

Why? Because people will tell you everything you need to know. This is the big secret that conversion copywriters understand and charge a fortune for. But I'm taking everything I learned from my communications career in fashion. And everything I've learned in my years of online business and coaching entrepreneurs, just like you, through these very steps.

I'm distilling it all down in this episode. All you have to do, to really nail your messaging, is follow the five simple steps that I'm about to outline for you.

You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life, by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top ranked business coach and reformed over analyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.

Hey, welcome back to The Uncommon Way. As I'm recording this, I'm getting ready to head to a business mastermind in Florida. I am so excited about it. Being around other like-minded people is just so invigorating, right? You always come back with this transformed energy.

And this is the reason actually, that I started the Clarity Collective, long before I launched a group program. What was happening was I was speaking to my clients individually, one to one, and I couldn't get this thought out of my head.

I kept thinking, “If only so and so could talk to so and so. Either, she'd see she's not the only one going through that thing. Or, she would understand how much further she'd come, because now so and so is going through that thing that she went through.

Or, maybe she needs to talk to so and so, because so and so solved it this way, or so and so went through the exact same thing, and now can give her perspective that feels so different than just when your coach is telling you something.”

So, I just put the offer out there. I was like; Hey, everyone. Would you like to start meeting for group calls, as well? No obligation, no pressure. But I think it would be really good for all of you. I think it'd be a lot of fun. And, it'd be no extra charge. What do you think? And a lot of them were like; hell, yes.

That was the beginning of the Clarity Collective. It wasn't, you know, some fancy launch of a group program. It was something that happened really organically. And I know that's because I've always gotten so much out of groups, as well. I mean, there are people that I'm still in touch with from my very first mastermind, that I consider...

Well, one in particular I'm thinking of, she is just a rock for me. I always rely on her. I know, I could ask her anything and vice versa. And it's just, they're really priceless places. So, I know that I have more of that coming to me, with this new group of people that I'm about to meet, and more to learn from all of them. And, it will be so great to bring that energy back to you all.

Okay, before we dive in, thank you so much for everything you all did to help me promote this podcast, and get the word out. I'm going to be sharing the names of the three winners, yeay, of our giveaway a little later in the episode. I'm so grateful. I know that if it weren't for you all, there are people that I wouldn't be reaching right now.

They'd be sitting there feeling like something should be different, but not really having anyone in the business space that would stand up for them, and their desire to approach their business from this clear and knowing place. Like, we just hit number 16 in Singapore, for the crowded business entrepreneurship category. How cool is that?

It never would have happened without a listener or listeners in Singapore, downloading every episode, leaving some reviews, maybe sharing it with their friends. This is how it happens. And because of it, we get to reach new people and say, “Hey, you're not crazy.” Basically, this is a completely valid, and actually very smart way, to start your business or to grow your business or to deepen your business.

So, speaking of reviews, I want to highlight goofyfoot35, who wrote, “So many people talk about how important purpose and your ‘why’ is, but they don’t tell you how to actually identify it … let alone how to use it in your business to attract the right clients (rather than just sitting in a document somewhere).” Thank you, goofyfoot35. I love that. And, you're so right.

This is a very much about making your purpose and your mission active, throughout every single part of your business. That is what we're talking about. We're not just creating mission statements for the hell of it around here. We're making that knowledge applicable with every decision and every action in your business.

Which is why, one week, we'll be talking about the role of energy and entrepreneurship. And then next, we're talking tactics or neuroscience, or what does data actually show us? I mean, that is our human experience, right? That play between the divine the idea around the abstract, however you want to think about it, and the material.

So today, we're talking about the material. Let's get on with some tactics, specifically, market research. Not the kind that you might have learned in business school, where you estimate the size of your market and get consumer feedback on price points, etc., etc. Yuck, no. Instead, we're talking conversion copywriting market research. Which, if we get really simple about it, is nothing more than having conversations; piece of cake, right?

This is where you talk to real humans about their hopes and dreams. And you listen, as actively or even more so, than you do when you're coaching. So, that you can become an expert on your people, which allows you to fulfill the second step of a successful business: Know your people.

If you haven't listened to Episode Five, Knowing Your People 101, that is going to be a great complement to this episode. It's the mindset primer for everything I'm about to say. So, you can find that at theuncommonway.com/five.

But in this episode, we'll talk about what to actually do, in order to create effective messaging. Because you think that what you need is what I call, ‘cool girl’ copy, right? Where you throw in all these funny little asides, and have really snappy language, and present yourself as the cool girl that they want to hang out with. Or, you think you need lots of persuasion copy. But usually, if you believe that, it's because you are motivated by persuasion copy. You don't hit by until there's a countdown timer attached to it.

But no, you don't need those things. Just like you don't need flashy Instagram® shots or a fancy website. Now, I do teach copywriting, inside the Clarity Accelerator, because thinking through it aids with clarity, for yourself and your audience. And, we're just not taught to write for effective online copy in school or at work. So, if you want me to talk about copy here, in a future episode, let me know in the review section, I'm happy to do it.

But please know that nice copywriting is not a requirement for a successful business. No amount of marketing can make up for a lack of good messaging. No amount of fun copy can make up for a lack of good messaging. But if you have great messaging, your people will still resonate with you. They don't care about the writing style. They care about, can you help them?

So today, we're talking about something much deeper than coffee, much deeper than marketing. We're talking about messaging. I am on a mission to end ungrounded, unaligned work in the world, as you know.

But also ungrounded performative messaging, the kind where you're saying things that you think your people need to hear or want to hear, and probably sounding just like everyone else does. Rather than directly responding to what your specific people have told you they need, and showing them how your secret sauce is the way to the results they want.

Full disclosure. This market research sometimes trips up new entrepreneurs in my programs. They'll go full speed ahead through the introspective Know Yourself work, unraveling years of confusion. And then when we get to step two, Know Your People, they find really important dust bunnies under their sofas that they need to clean out, or conveniently get distracted on social media and oops, where did the time go?

If people get tripped up and spin their wheels for a few weeks, it's usually either at this stage or when they're trying to bring on their first clients. But fingers crossed, that won't be your experience at all. Hopefully you're like I was, where you've been longing for clarity for so long, that once someone shows you the exact way out of uncertainty, you'll do whatever. Even if it feels uncomfortable, at first.

So, I like to say this is the stage that 80 to 85% of new entrepreneurs skip. And, why is that? Well, A; it may be because they don't know how to do it, right? We just don't know, what we don't know. Or, it could be perceived lack of know-how. “I don't know how to have deep conversations with people and ask them really targeted questions, even though I'm a coach.”

But yes, you do. And, you don't have to be a coach. If you're listening to this, it means you're an insightful person who cares about people. You know how to have deep conversations; you just have to create the conditions where you feel safe enough to have that kind of a conversation.

Sometimes people are in desperation, that's why they don't do this market research. Because they think: I'll just take anyone. I can’t afford to limit myself. Why would I create targeted language, when it's so hard to get any clients at all? I need to leave myself open.

Or, there's a perceived powerlessness: I am completely incapable of finding a human like this. Okay, maybe I got my medical degree, but I can't do this. I promise you, you can. You can find three humans who are experiencing the problems you want to help solve, and talk to them like a human.

Or, sometimes there's a limiting belief: If I were to try to have a conversation with someone, they’d think I was trying to sell them something. And, I refuse to be salesy, ick. There's nothing worse than trying to offer someone premium value that's going to change their life, right?” Seriously, though, you don't know what they'll think.

Usually, again, it's a projection. Especially if you are a person who looks for everyone's ulterior motives. Or, if you're a person that actually hopes you can sell them something. But you know what? You can tell them, “I'm not going to try to sell you anything.” And then, you can maintain the integrity of that promise, you are in the driver's seat.

Most of the time, though, it's really about discomfort. It's so much more comfortable to keep everyone at arm's length, and hide behind the computer screen: I don't need to talk to humans, I'll just put out an anonymous survey. Or, lurk in Facebook® groups watching how people talk. Even though they're writing publicly and are obviously editing what they say.

And all of that is so telling, my friend. Because those things I just mentioned, all of them, are you making this about you, rather than making it about them. But that is not sustainable. When we move into phase two, Know Your People, the focus shifts away from you, and towards greater service for your people.

Because otherwise, here's what happens. You just post tips each day on social media. And once in a while, you get brave enough to say you're a coach, or even that they can book a call, and wonder why nobody books in. Or, you do what I did, you blog for a year. I really liked to hide out. And you offer advice in Facebook groups, and tag on that awkward “call me maybe. Please”, at the end.

I liken this to wanting to start a catering business. So, each day, you put out something you baked, in front of your house, with a sign that says “free food”. But nobody knows why they might want that food, or that they could pay you to cater their event this weekend, or why you're even putting free food out.

And actually, only a few people even drive by your house. But they're pretty distracted with their own lives, and they don't really notice the free food. So, you keep thinking the food is the problem, thinking people obviously don't want to pay for cookies. Or, thinking you're the problem; you're obviously not cut out to be a caterer because you're a horrible baker.

I've worked with clients, like me, that did this for a year or two, and by the time we joined forces, they so desperately wanted to throw in the towel, but luckily didn't. Instead, they doubled down, hired a coach and turned things around. So, if you find yourself in that loop, it's okay. Plenty of successful businesses have started there.

Now, you know what to look out for. And when you recognize it, you can gently reorient yourself. Hopefully with the help of your coach, and get yourself focused on knowing your people, using the five steps to nailing client language that I'm about to teach you.

This is what I share with my clients, and it's also what I practice myself continually. This work never ends. What I teach you isn't just for the ‘now’ of your business, it's for the life of your business.

Alright, if this is the first time you're listening, then the preamble to everything I'm going to share right now, is to know yourself. First, you know yourself, then you know your people. And finally, you speak to how the two connect. It's that simple.

Because you start with know yourself, since you don't want to live your life just being what everyone else wants you to be, do you? That's what we've been doing most of our lives anyway, as women. No, you want to lead with you, then connect the dots to your people, then find out what they want. And finally, create the solution to solve the problem. So, knowing yourself is where true resonance begins. And remember, resonance is what sells.

Okay, ready to better know your people, so you can create messaging that lands? Here are the five steps, based on what's been working for me and my clients, throughout my five years of coaching entrepreneurs. Plus, my prior career in communications and marketing for fashion companies.

Number one, suspend disbelief. Number two, ask better questions and actively listen. Number three, organize your information. Number four, contemplate what you've learned. And five, verify what you've understood by echoing it back to them. All right, let's go through each of those.

Number one, suspend disbelief. It's impossible to get to know your people if you don't believe they exist. You've got to put your disbelief aside. Episode 5 has more on this topic, but in a nutshell: If you're assuming those people won't pay, or those people wouldn't want help, or it would be too difficult to sell to those people, you might be letting limiting beliefs get in the way of your future, of your true work in the world.

I'll never forget, towards the end of my corporate time, I was corporate editor for a fashion house that owned over thirty brands. I was in charge of overseeing the language and voice used for all of their customer facing communication. So, everything from ads to websites, to the little hang tags, that hang off clothes when you buy them in the store. Yeah, someone has to write that stuff, right?

So, some of the brands were big enough that they hired outside agencies, but most were done in house. We bought this one brand that used to be well-recognized years ago, it was an old golf brand, but it wasn't around much anymore, and we wanted to resurrect it.

At first, the C-level people were thinking they'd sell it to places like Macy's™. But they ended up bringing on this very young but super visionary guide to run the brand. And, he saw a completely different future. He wanted independent retail stores and imagined this becoming like a total hipster baby. My bosses were doubtful, but the strength of his conviction won them over. And it ended up being the most fun I'd had in this position.

I took over all the E-com (E-commerce) copy, all the little blurbs about each article of clothing. I decided on this approach where we'd reference little New York insider things; really, only if you lived in New York or had spent time there, would you really get it. Because the allure of the brand is that it was an insider’s thing. It was a best-kept secret.

Anyway, I became totally attached to this little brand; rooting for it, believing in it. Even as the C-suite people were like, “Wouldn’t we actually be more profitable if we just sold this stuff in Kohl's®?

So, I'll never forget the day that that fateful picture came out. It was when Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston were still married, and someone snapped this picture of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie on set. She was leaning back against the railing of a bridge. I don't know if you remember this, if it's burned into your memory, but she was leaning back against the railing of a bridge and he was kind of leaning into her with one hand on that railing.

You could just see he was totally into her. And, what is he wearing? What is the logo facing the camera, in what will become the most talked about image of the year, especially when he ends up leaving Jennifer Aniston and going off with Angelina Jolie? You guessed it, our brand on Brad Pitt.

Of course, our sales took off after that. All because this one person held the vision of this brand becoming totally coveted. Something that hip, ‘in’ people would love, that people would resonate with. And so, it was. So friends, don't sell yourselves short. Think about this lesson that I learned and that I'm sharing with you: Don't sell to Macy's when you've got something so unique that you can sell to whoever you want.

You owe it to yourself to at least talk to some people and gather the data. Also, in Episode 5, I told the story of Crystal who was ready to walk away from what she was passionate about, health coaching. All because she hadn't opened her mind to the idea that the kinds of clients she really wanted to work with, would actually want to work with her too.

But that's not Crystal’s fault; you can't see, what you can't see. It takes someone else to point it out to you. And just a word to the wise, if you have a strong disbelief, you've got to be a little suspicious of the data that you gather in the beginning. You've got to try a little harder to find those people. Because chances are you'll unintentionally gather evidence for what you already believe. You'll gather evidence for the fact that nobody wants the service, right? Or, no one wants it from you.

I'm going to be talking more about how we do that to ourselves. next week. This is one of the many times that having a coach can totally help you get where you're going faster, better and easier. You'd be so in your world thinking, “Well, this is just the way it is.” But your coach is going to say, “Nope, that's absolutely not the way it is.” You need someone who can lend you their objectivity.

All right, number two, ask better questions and actively listen. Because once you've pinpointed who you'd like to work with, you want to find some of these people and have a really good heart-to-heart with them. People will open up to you in ways you'd never expect, if you ask them deep questions privately, in a non-judgmental way.

What you're looking for is three humans that you'd actually want to work with. Simple, right? Because you don't want to use the language of people that aren't your people. If they don't think that the thing you help people with is a primary concern in their lives, or people that you wouldn't want to work with, don't use their language.

The language on my site doesn't come from people that think the key to their business is to learn to sell better. No, my people are like; I would do anything for clarity, then I could finally lean in. Then, I wouldn't feel like an imposter on my sales calls. Then, my marketing wouldn't be all over the place. Then, I'd finally have that thing, that I'd resigned myself to maybe never figuring out, purpose. God, I just need someone to help me get clear and focused.

Those are my people. Now, you might be wondering, how do I find these three people? It's a good question, and the answer is; get creative. Don't overcomplicate this. Put up some posts on social media, or send a note to a bunch of your friends asking if they know anyone that matches this description. Meet people at the supermarket.

I've watched my clients get so creative with this. All you really need to do is open yourself to the belief that your clients are everywhere. And stop letting your own worries, about what people will think of you and how people will be suspicious, create that very reality for you.

I don't think there's anything weird about asking to learn more about an issue, from people that are experiencing it. In fact, I'm the first to raise my hand in groups, whenever I see a post like this, from someone who's describing my situation. I'm like, “Yeah, I'll help you out.” And because of this, I've never had a problem getting people on the phone with me in the times that I've asked.

I have five or even ten templates for this in the Clarity Accelerator, so that people can just pick a post that feels aligned and go. But basically, all you have to do is say, “Hey, is this you? Or, do you know someone like this?” And then you describe them. You let them know exactly what to expect; we'll talk for 30 minutes. And then, you tell them why you're asking in the first place.

It's very simple. Basically, exactly how you'd speak to a real human face-to-face. Because these are real humans. You trying to sound all professional or like something you're not, will only create distance between you and them. You need to be yourself and do what feels comfortable for you, in integrity for you.

If you feel like you need to promise people that you won't try to sell them anything, do it. If you need to tell them that you're doing research for an article, then do it. But then of course, stay in integrity and actually write the article. If you don't know anyone directly that you can interview, then in the beginning, start with your best guess language to describe what your person is going through.

Sometimes you'll see that the language you were using, was not calling in the right type of person. Like when Crystal kept calling in people who had been struggling with their weight forever and had tried all sorts of things, but nothing worked. It wasn't her person. And when you get that aha, oh, it's not my person. Then you can get creative about what would be something they'd say?

When you do find someone you'd like to help, great. Use that person's language to call in your next person. And then, you're next. Until you get to the glorious moment of knowing that what you write, is speaking directly to and calling to the kind of person you want to help.

Sometimes nobody will volunteer to talk to you. It's okay. It's not about you, it could be as simple as the time of day of your post. Or, you might need a little more to motivate your people.

Some people are motivated by altruism, and they're willing to give up some time when they feel it's going to help the greater good. Others are motivated by self-interest, and you'll need to offer something of value.

Figuring this out is a good thing. All it means, is that in your future messaging, you'll always remember to speak to the greater good, or you'll know how busy your people are and you won't bother suggesting things without some high value return. Either way, you'll have so much more, you guessed it, clarity.

Now, I'll give you a little tip, I see a lot of new entrepreneurs run into this issue. They'll tell me, “I found this person who I'd like to help, but they don't want to pay for coaching. Do I have to throw all this language out?” Obviously, if you can find someone that would want to pay for coaching, use their language. But in the meantime, recognize that your own beliefs have likely attracted that person.

When this happens, it's often happening to the people that think it's easier to sell a low-priced course rather than coaching. And then, they're attracting people with a similar belief. So, I recommend that you keep the language, but you really spend some time contemplating what the willing-to-invest version of that person would say.

Same goes for when people say, “Jenna, I want to help an earlier version of me, but I never would have paid this much.” It doesn't matter. You can create a composite avatar, or the person shares some similar traits with you, but has different ideas about investing.

Lord knows when I was thinking about what business to start, I never would have paid five figures for a one-to-one coach. But people in that situation used to pay me that all the time; cold traffic, too. So, go back to number one on this list; suspend disbelief.

Now, do definitely spend some thought getting strategic with the questions you're going to ask. Each one needs to have a purpose, usually to aid you with understanding how they think and see the world, and their problem and their solution. Don't be afraid to get deep. In fact, push past your comfort zone to get deep.

Be willing to ask things like; but what are you really afraid of? So what, so what if that happens? What would that mean? A great framework is the five why's: When someone answers a question, they'll tend to give you the most acceptable answer, first.

You'll ask why they'd consider working with a health coach. And they'll say they want to feel healthier. But if you keep asking, it turns out they're going to a reunion in a few months, and really want to fit into their skinny jeans. Or, you'll ask why they're interested in paying down their debt. And they'll say, for more spending money. But if you keep exploring it, it turns out they're deathly afraid that they're going to ruin their child's life, and give them the same scrimping paycheck-to-paycheck existence, that they themselves grew up with.

Listen carefully, as they answer you, to their exact words and their way of expressing themselves. But also; to the tone of voice, to the emotion under the words, to what they're not saying, to limiting beliefs, to where they're leaking their power. Record the sessions, so that you can be fully engaged with them at the moment, and then you can relisten.

And don't be afraid to use these kinds of appointments to help you flush out the answers, to any part of your business that you're wondering about. I'll give you an example. One of the questions I recommend my clients ask is; what’s something, where if you just knew how to do that one thing, you'd be so much closer to getting what you want.

If they're stuck for an answer, I tell this story. Let's say you're a man that really wants to be in a relationship. If you talk to that person, they may say that the one thing that would really just help them so much, would be to know how to even initiate a conversation. They don't even know what to say to then start talking to the person.

So, once you know that information, you can provide guidance on that one thing, and you will instantly capture their attention. You could turn that topic into a webinar or a PDF lead magnet. Right? This is how we use these foundational pieces to grow your business so much more quickly, and take a lot of the guesswork out of the funnels that we build.

Okay, phew, that was a lot of info, but it's important so stick with me here. We did number one, suspend disbelief. And then two, ask better questions and listen actively. This next one, will aid with some top complaints, like; when I try to write, it just all comes out all jumbled. Or, I just don't know what to write. And it's also, what will keep you from sliding back into your language rather than your client’s language.

All of this beautiful information, that the three humans gifted you, now you've got to organize it. This is the only place that I really geek out with my clients. But I have you put the answers, to those questions you've asked, into a spreadsheet.

In each column, you put a different type of language. Maybe; here's how they talk about what they really want. Here's where they talk about how it feels to not have what they want, etc., etc. And, we create the spreadsheet.

Here's why I do that. One, because it will give you so many insights, when you can sit back and see it in front of you clearly like this. It's the difference between having ten to-do lists on different scraps of paper all over the house. A ton of other ideas stored in your head. And then of course, you're stuck wondering why in the world, you don't know exactly what you should be working on.

This is part of what clarity is about; it's about getting things out of your head and into the light, where everything clicks into place. It's the kind of thing you'll want to review quickly before you hop on a discovery call, just to ground into who your people are.

And it's also extremely effective. It makes creating content almost too easy. In the training, inside the Understanding Your People module of the Clarity Accelerator, I show you how to create a compelling social media post in about 60 seconds. A post that resonates, where people say, “I feel like you were in my head.” And even with just the language from three souls, you can create so many different posts, it's all plug and play.

But also, when you get used to categorizing the information, it will teach you to listen for that information. It trains your brain to listen actively, on autopilot, so that the experience of it is more effortless. And that practice, of listening actively, helps you be a better coach, too. It helps people feel respected and listened to. It helps you get to the root of the problem and distill it down to its essence.

People on discovery calls, often tell me they're impressed at the details I keep in my head, that I relay back to them later in the call. But my brain is always scanning for how people express themselves and how they think; I find it fascinating. And like I said, this is something your brain starts to do for you naturally, when you give it some structure like this.

Before we move on, I want to do a quick reality check here. Just because someone knows you get them and feel seen by what you write or say, does not necessarily mean they'll buy from you. This is not a magic bullet. You still need to create an offer, that's a no brainer, and prove that it's saleable. It's called “proof of concept”.

That's why we never spend the time to build out a course without first knowing that we can actually sell that course. And, how often has someone said, “Oh, yeah, that's such a great idea. I’d totally pay for that.” But then, do they actually pull out their credit cards? So, if you want to know more about proving viability, then let me know in the reviews, and I will absolutely create something for you.

Alright, step four, is contemplate. Up till now, this has really been the science of resonance. But here in number four, that's where the art of resonance comes in and combines with step one, know yourself. And this is the work that you want to get as close to target as you can, as quickly as you can, and then keep refining and deepening it for a lifetime.

This is where you sit back and contemplate all the information you've gathered. What really sets these people apart from those people over there? What did they think the solution is? And what can you show them about the solution that they've probably never considered? What do they need to believe in order to work with you?

For instance, if someone believes, as I myself used to believe, that clarity on your purpose is just something everyone needs to figure out for themselves, and nobody can help them. That person is never going to hire me. So, how exactly, will you explain what you need to explain to them? What would be good metaphors or stories to illustrate the point you're trying to make?

You do not need to answer all of these questions, all at once. Do the best you can. Clarity is an evolution. I am constantly doing market research. I'm constantly learning more about my people, not in the same way. I have enough people coming into discovery calls that I don't need to create the conversations, but I still have my spreadsheet that I update. And it's second nature for me now.

On every discovery call and in each coaching session, and when I hear people being coached in other venues, I'm the one nodding, “Interesting. People are saying it this way now. They have this baseline knowledge, so I don't need to explain this thing anymore, that I used to. Meaning, I can speak to this now. Oh, this is a slightly different angle that fits really well with my people and my mission. Let me try saying it this way next time. Let me see how that lands?”

So, if you get one insight, one breakthrough in a day, well done. The important thing is that you develop the habit of contemplating the minds of your future clients. They are the lifeblood of your business. They're the ones that help you fulfill your purpose, and grow so much as a human.

Truly seeing a person and meeting them where they are, is the greatest act of love and empathy that you could give. Your future clients are humans who are about to do the bravest thing in the world, which is bet on themselves from a place of complete vulnerability. Without certainty that the result is possible, because they've never experienced it for themselves.

So, whether you're a coach or a designer, this is true for your clients. And that needs to become a priority for you; understanding them and speaking to exactly where they are.

All right, step five, is to verify it by echoing it back. This is a simple one, but super important. You need to verify the data you've gathered by echoing it back and seeing if it lands. You've got to test it. You cannot paraphrase here. This is why you transcribed the language into your spreadsheet.

It may not seem like an important distinction for you, but if they're saying they want peace of mind, don't tell them that they will attain inner peace. Remember, subconscious resonance; we want them to feel at home.

Now, social media is a great place to test out your new content. And in fact, that's a great way to think of the purpose of social media for you. You're just there testing out content. It's fun to see what people like and what they engage with. But what really matters, is what resonates with your clients. What stood out in their minds, as they were getting to know you, that they tell you about later when they actually start working with you.

But the very best way to accelerate all of this and verify the information that you've gathered, and what you've been contemplating, is another in-person conversation. Yep. All of you that like to create safety through the distance of the Instagram app, I am calling you out. Because here's what you can't do in your DM’s.

You can't watch someone lean in as you're talking. You can't see their eyes light up as they laugh, “That's totally what I say to myself.” You rarely get to hear them say, “Yeah, I'm still thinking about that story that was so good. I've never thought of it in that way.”

You will not gain clarity on your people if you deprive yourself of in-person conversations. Meaning, you won't be making sales as quickly as you could, either. Fall in love with the work of knowing your people, and you will see your business transform.

And listen, if you are called to the simple truths of; know yourself, know your people speak to how the two connect. And you want guidance, support and my magic as you work through it, I'm here for you. We will work together personally, to get you clarity on your right people, the specific questions that make the most sense for them, how to interpret what they say, and really wow them in your content and on discovery calls.

Not to mention, a life-changing overhaul of how you view and own your secret sauce. I've gone through the trial and error, over two decades of it in fact, so you don't have to, and created a system for accelerating your clarity. It's called the Clarity Accelerator, and it's essential work for every coach, regardless of where you are in business.

There's no other work that you need to do first, nothing else to prioritize, because this is what amplifies everything else you'll learn or do. This is what takes you from just going through the motions of marketing and selling; second guessing everything, wondering if this is what you should be selling, if these people are even the ones you should be selling to, if you're really even the best coach for the job, if you're selling with integrity, and if you're just self-sabotaging yourself with all of these blocks.

And instead of feeling stuck, frustrated, and emotionally drained, you get on a call knowing so confidently what you do and don't do, and you articulate it so clearly, that you're certain the person will work with you if they're the right fit. And if not, that's okay. Because there are plenty who are. You feel calm, assured and unattached. After all, this is really about returning to who you are, and what has always been available to you.

Spots are limited, since everyone currently gets one-to-one calls with me. But I don't know how much longer I'll be offering that; it could be six months, it could be one month, because I rely heavily on intuition in my business. And when it's time to shift into a new offer, it's time to shift into that new offer.

So, if this is calling to you, and you want to work with me in 2022, let's hop on a call. Let's see whether or not this is a hell yes, for both of us. And if so, get your spot secured for some time in the next few months. I want to help you finally get clear on what you're offering and how to talk about it. Plus, actually believe in it.

And now I'm very excited to announce the winners of the podcast launch giveaway. Our top winner was Laura, so she gets the AirPods Pro™. Second place, was Jamie, who gets the Audible Plus™ subscription. And then, Kate gets the $50 Amazon Gift Card™. Congratulations, everyone.

And, thank you to all of you that participated and are still helping me get the word out about this podcast. I really want to let people know that it's not only okay to prioritize getting clear in your business, but it makes smart business sense to do so. And with every download, rate, review, and share. You're helping me do that.

Seriously, thank you for tuning in and for sharing these episodes. Okay, my friend. That's it for today. And remember, on a certain level, you know who you are. And every day you're stepping further into what you're here to create.

Hey, if you enjoyed today's show you do not want to miss next week's, seriously. Follow the show wherever you listen to your podcasts, so you don't miss an episode.

And would you please leave a super quick rating and review about this episode? It's how you'll let me know what you liked and what you're still curious about. So, I can create the most valuable content for you going forward. As well as, how you'll help other highly driven but slightly uncertain entrepreneurs find this show and get the tools they need. Thank you so much.

Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity for Strategy for Growing and Scaling Your Business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.

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Ep #6: How Entrepreneurship Made Me Woo

Many of you are hiding out in some way. You are dimming yourself and hiding from your choices; it is something I can relate to in my own business, but it is so important to own your truth, your choices, and your uniqueness, even when it feels uncomfortable. If you want to really live your uncommon way, you need to show up for yourself and your beliefs unapologetically. And this is exactly what I’m modeling for you this week.

Being willing to stand out from the crowd and even bring on some criticism is of critical importance. It’s what separates a life fully lived from a life where you show up and just do what’s expected. So this week, I’m modeling showing up unapologetically in your business by sharing a story of what led me from being fully logical, rational, and science-based to what I have become: a true believer in and practitioner of what I would have once believed to be some very woo concepts.

What I’m revealing this week might just blow your mind and open you up to seeing your business and the world in a completely different way. I’m sharing a story that led to my belief in energetics, how I learned to get out of my own way and start showing up unapologetically, and how you can do the same in your life and business.

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What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

• How I realized what I was really called to help people with.

• The barometer I use with my clients to help them decide where to pivot in their own businesses.

• How to step into your most resilient, grounded, knowing self.

• Why being unapologetic is the work we are all here to do.

• How much of a role energetics has played in my business.

• Some tips to help you attract your soul-aligned clients and the lifestyle you’ve been longing for.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

• Want to work with me? Click here to find out how!

• Click here to sign up for my newsletter and find out how the Connect The Dots Method has helped clients in all stages of their business.

• If you would like help getting clear on what you are offering and how to talk about it, you have to join us in The Clarity Accelerator. It’s 60 of the best-spent days you’ll ever have, and you’ll get my eyes on your business and your messaging helping you dial all this in. There’s a spot available for September, so click here to schedule a call with me as soon as possible to learn more.

• Click here to get the most comfortable pants ever!

• Ep #2: The Decision Tree

• Ep #3: Finding Your Voice

• Tag or DM me on Instagram and let me know how this episode has helped you - I can’t wait to be your loudest, proudest cheerleader!

Full Episode Transcript:

I'm just going to tell it to you straight. I have seen some crazy things over the last five years, since I've been in this whole entrepreneurship game. Now, the causes of the events that I'm about to share with you, are totally open to interpretation. Of course, you get to and should form your own opinions.

But I'm going to give you my take. And I'm deciding to share these things, that I've never shared publicly, because I want to model showing up unapologetically. And also, what I'm going to reveal might just blow your mind. It might open you to seeing your business and the world completely differently, which is what it did for me.

This is the story of what led me from being fully logical, rational science-based, to what I have become; a true believer in and practitioner of what I once would have considered to be some very woo concepts.

You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life, by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top ranked business coach and reformed over analyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.

Welcome back to The Uncommon Way. I have got an important episode for you today, and I want to dive right in. Because yesterday, I realized that I've been hiding out and that I wasn't going to waste even one more minute doing so. I've been hiding myself from you, from the public; with a capital P.

Not from my clients, I consider my clients soulmates, right? It's my duty and also my honor, to just serve them with everything I have, all the knowledge I've gleaned through experience or investments. That's given to them with a pretty bow.

And to the people on my newsletter list, I've been opening up to you too, right? In fact, last week, I shared how I'd been interviewed on another podcast about the energetics behind what had me creating $130,000 in six months. Even with a new offer that's a lower price point.

And, I'm purposely restricting the number of people I bring through right now. One would expect my revenue to decline, and I was prepared for that. It was a strategic decision. But it didn’t. And I purposely sent that email to my entire list, rather than just my most engaged readers, because I decided I wanted to have people unsubscribe if they were uncomfortable with me talking frankly about my experiences or my perceptions. But nobody really did.

So, you might be sitting here thinking, Jenna, “Of course, there's universal energy at play. This is such a non-issue.” But here's how the issue relates to you. I know that many of you, probably all of you, are hiding out in some way; you're dimming yourself in some way. And I want a model owning your truth, even when it feels uncomfortable.

I had a client who was a lesbian, and she told me, “It's so crazy that I can be totally out of the closet about my sexuality, but I'm still closet woo.” Yeah, I get it. So, here I am coming out. Now for you, following your uncommon way may not have anything to do with woo concepts. It just means doing your thing, whatever that is.

But for people who follow their own path, by definition we're going to make some unexpected decisions. And there will be times when those decisions are guided by nudges that we can’t explain logically. Now afterwards, when they work out in your favor, other people are like, “That was a stroke of genius. How did you know?”

I'm thinking of Amazon selling clothes online. I remember that, and thinking; how could that ever be successful? What if the clothes didn't fit? Who would want to give up the fun experience of shopping? But of course, now I buy clothes from Amazon all the time. I just got, seriously, the most comfortable pants ever; I'll link to those in the show notes.

So, following these nudges, and being willing to stand out from the crowd, and even bring on some criticism, is of critical importance. It's what separates a life fully lived from the life where you just do what's expected. I believe that's why we're here; to find our path.

But a lot of us do that very quietly. Maybe in our heads, without actually taking action. Or, taking action, but only in the ways that feel safest. But next level, and really, the reason why you're here listening to this podcast, is you need to own your choices and your uniqueness. You've got to stand for them unapologetically, if you're really fully living your uncommon way.

The full expression of your uncommon way is never going to be you hiding out. Even for introverts. Even for people like me, that are introverts and have a two-profile line, which is the hermit in human design. You get to choose the realms that you want to play in. For the last couple of years, I haven't played in social media. I haven't played on a podcast.

But the ones that you do play in, you need to own your truth. Now, I know it comes as no surprise to you that our brains can be very sneaky. The primitive part does not want us to cast out from the tribe and take risks. And since the brain knows us better than anyone, it creates the perfect arguments to sway our decisions towards safety in the status quo, without us even realizing what's going on.

Which is why everyone benefits from a coach. I mean, if I had car payments, I would forego one of them rather than forgoing a coach; the car isn't going to help me get out from under having to make car payments for the rest of my life, but the coach will. And it's also important to surround yourself with people that can help you coach yourself to the highest level.

Which is what happened yesterday. I was having a workshop call with the Clarity Collective; which is the larger group comprised of both the Clarity Accelerator Boot Camp clients, and the clients that continue on with me, either privately or in a group. And, I realized my brain had been doing something sneaky.

Now, I knew when I decided to move forward with this podcast that I would need to speak my truth. And a whole bunch of people were therefore, going to see a different side of me than they'd seen previously. But what my brain had been doing was delaying. So clever.

It had been telling me, “Yeah, Jenna, we'll get to that. But first, it's really important that I introduce this new audience to key concepts like; know yourself, know your people, speak to how the two connect, or connecting the dots up through your mission, to your people, to your offer, to your messaging.”

And, and, and, right? The list kept growing and growing and growing, of things I just had to get out to you first, before I can talk about this. Who knows how long that would have gone on? Some of us can stay in that delaying space for years; I did for two decades. Especially if you're smart and you have a particularly sneaky brain, and don't have a coach.

And once you're onto yourself about something like this, it is critical, both energetically and from a psychological point of view, that you take action on that clarity; sooner rather than later. Which is why I halted production on other episodes, and I'm recording this one, now.

Some of you like to hang out in the space of ‘getting up the nerve.’ I have clients who get the clarity, but then taking action is scary, so they delay. And all they're doing is giving the brain more and more opportunities to create the perfect argument, or to make things feel 10 times worse and scarier.

Like, if you're dreading the next dentist's appointment, six months away, and all you're doing is ruining those six months beforehand. The inevitable is going to happen; you are going to go to the dentist, and you are going to take action and you are eventually going to speak your truth. Because all of those are good for you, right? They're healthy. It's where you're going, because it's always what you've had the potential of being. And, we are not here to squash our potential.

To give you some context on my story. I come from a very logical, scientific group of critical thinkers. And not only that, I used to be the black sheep. I used to be the spiritual one. And through events in my life and observing the world, I lost trust. And then, I started bringing myself evidence for this new belief, right? For all the ways I'd been misguided.

Have you ever met former smokers who now are so vehemently against smoking? That was me, when it came to anything that couldn't be explained scientifically. Looking back, I felt a lot of shame, I think, for, as I perceived it, very naive and magical thinking beforehand. And I felt resentful, true, like my heart had been broken.

So, the journey, from that point to where I am now, I can break into three stages once I started entrepreneurship. So, there was denial, curiosity, and finally mastery.

I started out in full denial, right? When I decide to hire a coach, I hired the most left-brain coach I could possibly find; like very gifted in quantitative analysis. I just knew that the entrepreneurship game had to be about the funnels; I'm convinced.

I worked with her for probably six months building trust, when she said, “You know, Jenna, you're doing all the things right. And, we should be seeing more clients for you now. I think it's a mindset thing. I think you should hire a mindset coach.”

Well, I was in full money scarcity back then. The thought of plopping more investment onto a credit card, when I was already paying $20,000 a year for this mastermind I was in, was definitely not palatable. But neither was not getting the results. So, I did it, of course. Of course, I did it.

Something interesting happened; when this coach helped me see some ways in which my beliefs were interfering with how I was showing up, and I released those limiting beliefs lurking there, I became a booked-out coach within a month or two.

Now, that's not particularly woo; I didn't see it that way, right? That's just basic psychology; whatever you think and believe will alter your actions. But in hindsight, I remember that I came across a guide, in my business coaches course materials, that I had never seen before. Now, I had gone through the entire curriculum, but never seen it.

But it inspired a tactic for initiating conversations with people, that led to me getting all these discovery calls. And then, of course, showing up to them in a new way, which led to clients. That's an amazing coincidence. Still, I dismissed it. You know, maybe it was like some psychological self-sabotage. Like, I had, in fact, seen that guide and it just didn't register, or something like that.

But after this, my business coach started to open up more and more to me. Instead of just talking about mindset, she was talking about energetics. She was telling me that these are really the kinds of things they talk about in these high-level masterminds for seven-figures plus earners. Where you pay $100,000, and you just meet up a few times a year, with like hundreds of other people. And yet, they think it's worth it because understanding this stuff is what's most important.

She started telling me about the real work she'd been doing to create her very successful company, mindset and energetics work. And, how there was no rational reason for her to be bringing in that much money, with the type of business she had and the size of her list, if it weren't for these other things she was focusing on.

So, that is when the curiosity started, right? I let myself open the door, just a crack, because I trusted her so much. And she seemed a lot like me, you know, with both feet on the ground. So, then my client load went back down a bit, and I kind of hit this plateau, so I dove more fully into this work, specifically around money.

I uncovered another block, and right after started hitting those mythical five-figure months. But that wouldn't continue forever, because I had an awakening. When the pandemic hit, I realized that what I was really being called to help people with, was not exactly what I was helping people with.

And if my business is an expression of my purpose, I'm not going to give my time and gifts to something unless it's a ‘hell yes’. I did that for too long in corporate. And that's the barometer that I use now, to help my clients decide when to pivot their own businesses.

You know, don't pivot because the grass is greener, because you think that niche will be more lucrative or easier to sell to, or you're getting frustrated figuring out how to talk to them, right? Pivot, because you realize it's bringing you more fully into your mission. Which, is what was going on for me.

So, I shut my business down. I was hitting 17k plus months. I was charging $10,000 for my services, and I shut it all down. And I poured myself into service, knowing that this global shock would be the catalyst to wake up so many people, and have them question what they were really devoting their lives to.

And I was literally, the best person to help them through this clarity crisis. At a time, when I really just wanted to curl up into a ball and watch the news, I started putting out daily content, which was a stretch for me, and creating a funnel to this super low-priced accessible course that I put together. Knowing it would help people get true clarity and understand how to move into action.

I did this all within, I think, a month or six weeks, I don't remember. But it was a big stretch at the time. I just knew it was urgent, right? Not just for entrepreneurs, for everyone. Quick aside; obviously, I did go back to working with entrepreneurs exclusively, but now, focusing on clarity. Because I quickly saw how it aligned with my mission.

And I want to walk you through this quickly, in case you are also at a decision point. But if I'm here to help people live uncommon lives of their choosing, it makes sense to work with entrepreneurs who have already decided that's important to them, right?

They moved away from corporate jobs for a reason, rather than trying to convince people, that are following the rulebook, that they don't actually have to follow that rulebook. So, these are the kinds of decisions that we make in the decision tree. Go ahead and listen to Episode 2. That's theuncommonway.com/two, if you want more on that tool.

So, right in the middle of delivering that course, the army told us that we need to move in a little over a month, during a pandemic. And then, would have to go on ahead, and I'd have to sell the house and move two houses across country, because my mom lives nearby and always follows us when we move.

And then, when we got to Pennsylvania, we'd be hanging out in a hotel room for over two months, with my very unsettled two-year-old acting out in all sorts of creative ways. Because the house that we needed to move into on base, wouldn't be ready yet.

So, I took some time off from the business. I went off social media. And, something very strange started happening. A client booked in and said that she'd found me on Google®. I asked her; did she consider herself an abstract thinker? Because I do have several posts on my site, that do very well, about abstract thinkers.

But no, no, she said she was looking for a business coach, and she couldn't remember the search term. And, she said she'd instantly resonated with my site. Now, I had heard that before. But usually, people found my site because I was posting in Groups™ or on Facebook®, and they'd hop over there to check me out, right? And then, book a call. This had never happened through Google.

Now, mind you, I hadn't done anything to my website, right? I wasn't adding new keywords or anything, it was the same as it had been for years. So, in my mind, being a business coach meant I'd also be spending a lot of time writing copy, with and for my people.

But I took a gamble and offered her something different. Something aligned with my new awareness, right? This clarity, mindset, strategy, at a very low price, because I honestly didn't know how this would work out and what kinds of results she'd achieve. And she said, yes; she was my first client, in this present form of my business.

And then, another one booked in, and she told me the exact search term. She said, she Googled “business coach for female entrepreneurs”. Now, I'd been a travel blogger, I understood that that would be a highly competitive search term. I doubted what she was saying, completely. As soon as we hung up, I googled it thinking, you know, maybe I'd be on page five or something. I wasn't; I was on the first page.

I saw my domain authority there, compared to everyone else's, and I was floored. So, I believe this happened at this time, because of all the service and value I'd created during the onset of the pandemic. It is good juju, but also my own feelings of deservedness were in play. Because I had a story that you had to work hard and go through a lot to deserve good things. And once I finally felt deserving, through all of this service, the Universe could finally meet me there.

Plus, I had another, what I call, “belief opportunities”, right? I believed it was possible to rank highly on Google. I'd been on the first page already with my travel blog; always for kind of obscure travel destinations though, nothing as competitive as this. And of course, for the abstract thinker posts, which again, is a narrow niche.

So, I was able to receive this because it wasn't outside the realm of possibility. I'd never tried to make it happen. I specifically, you know, I thought that you rank well on blog posts that are structured in a certain way, not on my ‘work with me’ page. I'd never set it up in that way, to be compatible for SEO. But still, it was semi-believable in my realm of possibility. It wasn't a pink elephant appearing out of nowhere.

Plus, this was work I needed to do. If I look back, I see this reason very clearly. And I know what you're probably thinking, you're thinking, “What work? You're just sitting back and receiving consults; you lucky B.” But for a person whose identity had always been caught up in what I was doing and what I was achieving, to do the difficult work of not working, and letting myself earn less, and unpacking what my true worth really was, outside of all of that, and then letting myself receive from there, oh, that was, by far, the hardest, most important work I've ever done.

Luckily, I was going through coach certification training at the Life Coach School at that time, so I had wonderful tools for observing and questioning my thoughts. It was a perfect laboratory for deep work. And, I realized it was also a perfect laboratory to practice these energetics that my coach had been talking about.

None of my copy was changing. I wasn't showing up differently, in a way that could influence my results. No, I was just doing my own mindset work. Testing out different energetic states for myself each month, and then seeing how it influenced what was happening in the business.

For instance, I'd heard people talking about manifesting by making the goal non-negotiable. Well, that sent me into a tailspin of action and frantic neediness and attachment, bringing in a whopping $0 that month. So, that was not helpful. Okay, check; on to the next.

And so it went, month after month. Not only was it a question of the number of people coming in, it was different kinds of people. So, I mentioned that I had previously worked on the copy with my clients. And, there was a big part of me in disbelief that I would be able to help people get results, without doing that piece for them.

And so, I was spending a lot of time on belief work; that they would not need that, right? That people don't really need that. And then, I couldn't believe it, I started bringing in people... I looked at their intake form, and they would say things like; you know, I'm a marketing manager at my day job, but I really just need help getting out of my own way. Or, I really just need help getting clear on what kind of business I wanted to start.

I mean, perfectly aligned, and not needing any help with copy whatsoever. But I just need to stop here and clarify that this is not how you should start your business. I've had some clients that really wanted me to teach them magic. Who wanted me to teach them how to bring in money, without lifting a finger. And, it doesn't work that way.

I had done all the heavy lifting before, to create that messaging on the site. And now, I was just putting it to work for me. I do think that understanding energetics will expedite the journey for new entrepreneurs, for sure. That's why I teach it in the Clarity Accelerator. But it's not going to get you out of doing work and experiencing discomfort.

Entrepreneurship will make you feel terrible. Not because it's so difficult, but because as humans, and especially as women, we perceive extreme difficulty. We make a lot of meaning out of all the ups and downs. Our nervous systems are so triggered by failure and taking up space, and charging appropriately, asking for money, all the things. And, I believe that it's designed this way.

These are the triggers that are going to help us finally heal all that bullshit, and help us step into… Almost said, our magnificence; that sounds so woo, scratch that. An earlier me just would have cringed. But what I really mean to say is, help us step into our best selves; our most resilient, grounded, knowing selves.

So, I hired another coach that could help me specifically with energetics. My previous coach was no longer taking clients. And this, is where the mastery stage of my journey begins.

There I was, just kind of watching all this and experimenting. Raising my prices again, bit by bit, as I saw my people were, in fact, still getting results. And I don't know how long that would have continued, but my Higher Self was like, “Nuh-uh, time to uplevel,” and threw something else in my path.

I applied to a well-known mastermind, and was turned down. I honestly never expected that; I was so surprised. And I was really disappointed, too. Crushed, even; like the wind knocked out of you kind of crushed. And I gave myself a day to feel crushed, which is so important for us to do.

And then, I took my dog for a walk. And, I started asking myself; why? Why was I disappointed? And, I realized that my thoughts about joining the mastermind were, “And then, I'll be one of those elite coaches. You know, the kind who deserves to be on the first page of Google.”

But immediately, I realized that thought was totally available to me now. I was the one making it dependent on something outside of myself, this silly mastermind. But I could go to work showing my brain the evidence of how it was already true; I was an elite coach. I did belong right there on Google. Nobody else offers what I offer. I've created a totally blue ocean. And my clients’ lives change because of it.

I've had so many people tell me that they've been in therapy for years and never gotten the transformation that they have with me. I have pages and pages of testimonials. Yes, business results, but also life results; changing cities, ditching the loser boyfriend, losing weight, repairing relationships. You can’t step into your power in business and not transform your life.

The only one who was thinking Google was a fluke, was me. I was not seeing that. I was only seeing all the ways that I was insufficient. By the way, an earlier me never could have talked about myself favorably, like I just did, without buckets of shame. That took concerted effort to rewrite all that patriarchal programming. And, extreme discomfort to start posting that on social media and desensitizing myself to it.

But I started a little movement of women who were like, “Hell yeah, we need to do this work and encourage each other.” We used the #not sorry. It was a trip; it was so empowering. So yes, it was time for me to stop getting in my way, own what I do and start getting the word out.

Because too many people were suffering, because they were only given half the story. Either the tactics or the mindset. Or, their own inner knowing was suppressed in favor of ‘just market to these people who are most likely to say yes’. Or, they were left to flounder for years, as they figured out their path on their own and reached a certain revenue, and then other coaches would finally work with them.

I became filled with all this certainty. And also, I'll admit, a good dose of proving energy towards anyone who would say I wasn't a good bet for that mastermind. I kept hearing Beyoncé in my head singing, “Oh, you must not know about me.”

Proving energy is a shadow aspect, but it can fuel you in the short-term. And, that's when I had my first $25,000 month. It was as if the Universe were saying, “Finally she gets it. Now she can step into the work that she's here to do.”

Everything that I'd wanted from that six-month mastermind, I got it within one month; the 25k month. I created a hybrid group one-to-one program, and I seriously up-leveled my thought leadership, meaning the way I was explaining my teachings to people.

Fast forward several months… Of course, I'm skipping over tons of ups and downs, but let's just go to the end of the year. And, I'm wanting to hit my yearly goal, this is now last December. I have another coach for energetics, by this point, who teaches through the lens of human design. And, I was very committed to not reverting to hustling up the clients, which was hard. I really wanted to reach that goal.

But instead, I'm waiting for inspiration or signs rather than trying to make things happen. And, I'm holding the expectation that this is going to work up until the end of the month, but also without attachment. Very difficult. Such hard work, especially when you're up against a deadline like that.

But things happened in ways that seem to defy logic. Like, I would overhear a podcast episode that led to me writing a post, that just happened to be right up the wheelhouse of someone who had never even heard of me. And just happened to be on social media at that moment, who then decided to check me out, and then saw my site and knew she had to book in.

It's just hard to explain empirically. And, I was really doing my mindset work. I was examining all the thoughts and emotions that were getting triggered, and I was looking for the lessons. I realized how much resentment I was feeling towards the Universe. I uncovered the story that I get so close to my goals, but then I don't quite get what I want. As if the Universe is toying with me. A lot of victim energy here.

I uncovered how much I wanted recognition. But once again, the one who wasn't recognizing my accomplishments, was me. I held myself back from taking any kind of reactive actions, from my, like low-vibe moments. But I took quick action after my epiphanies and any of my pings.

In the end, I ended up well-surpassing my goal, and bringing in great soulmate clients through all sorts of different ways. After December, I knew I could never turn back, and I haven't. I've continued to practice and hone this. This is the work that has led to that $130,000 in the last six months.

But more importantly, I'm completely rebuilding my trust with the Universe. And with my Higher Self, who's a presence that I never recognized. She guides me so precisely into what's next for me. She represents the parent, sage, lover that you want to rely on and externalize, when you haven't yet recognized your own power; how powerful we all are with creating.

She's me, right? She's who I really am, who I've always been through lifetimes, I'm pretty sure. But also, who I'm becoming. Not because I have to go anywhere, but because of what I don't yet recognize in myself. She is me, without the illusion of the mind.

When I used to talk about these things, even with my clients, I always delivered it with something like, “Look, I don't know how this all works. But here's what does work. And, you can come to your own conclusions.” I'll still tell people to come to their own conclusions, of course.

But I'm going to step further to say, “Here's how I interpret it. Here's what I see going on. Scarcity is a lie. Our own limitations are lies. And this is the work of uncovering our truth. I believe our souls are here for a reason. They came with a purpose, and the Universe wants us to fulfill our purpose. It wants us to connect with the souls we're meant to help evolve, and who in return, help us evolve. We all teach what we need to learn. And all the obstacles, all the tears, are opportunities to help us more deeply recognize our true worth, our abundance, our power.”

Like, back when I had a string of clients who didn't feel that clarity was that important. They just wanted the results they saw on my testimonials page. Like yesterday; someone stopped working with me, she broke her contract. She wanted instant clients, and someone to tell her exactly what her people wanted, and what to do to captivate them. She wasn't willing to work through the aligned, deeply resonant messaging that requires more of you.

And I knew that was so bad for her own psychology and energetics, to pull back from what her Higher Self decided she wanted, when she first agreed to work with me. But to me, it was a gift. Because it hurt like hell, don't get me wrong. I have a human brain; I have perfectionist tendencies. And this was the first time this had happened. I made it mean terrible things about myself, at first.

But after the emotional storm of that Zoom® call, where I sat there crying big crocodile tears in front of my mastermind sisters. After all that, it ignited something. I said to myself, “Man, I would have paid anything for this clarity. I would have made a deal with Rumpelstiltskin and trade in my future child if he'd said, ‘Not only will I help you find your purpose, so you're not in the torment of watching your life slip by without ever reaching your potential or even knowing what it is you're here to do.’

‘And then, I'll help you turn that purpose into physical, tangible form. Into a business that's a full expression of you, and therefore, attracts the soul aligned clients and the lifestyle you've been longing for. And as you build that business up, you see all the pitfalls you can't see, and exactly how everything is happening for you specifically, so that you can evolve into something that you can't even see for yourself yet.’

‘But I can see it clearly. Because my gift is seeing people’s superpowers and what's ahead for them.’” Oh, my God, I would have been like, “Where do I sign? And whatever you tell me I have to do, I'll do it.”

And that is the moment when I felt everything goes still. And my Higher Self was like, “Finally, a yes. That's exactly what we've been trying to show you, Jenna. And now, you don't ever have to doubt it. Or, downplay what you offer again.” Which is when I started marketing specifically to clarity. I changed all my website copy.

Even though my ego was like, “No, you're going to lose your Google rank if you change a word.” But I knew it was inevitable. Clarity is like that; it empowers you to do bold things. And my rank didn't slip. I started turning people away.

My clients are surprised that I choose not to extend invitations to about 50% of the people that apply to work with me through Google. Usually, if they come from other sources, they're a better match. But yeah, I got willing to turn away a lot of money, to ensure that I was bringing on the clients that deeply wanted this. And, would be committed and up to the task.

Which is why the Collective is such a special place to be. We are all very capable women, who are specifically choosing this discovery, because we're called to not just build any old business, that's not what we want. So, it's a slight shift to go from, ‘I don't know why these events happen this way’ to, ‘here's why I believe these things happen’. But it's an important one.

You feel that shift, right? There's an ownership underlying it. It's unapologetic, and there's risk and vulnerability and commitment to authentic expression. This is where I am, at this point in my evolution.

I'm willing to be wrong. And if something comes along to disprove or improve my perspective, you'll be the first to know. But I'm not going to tiptoe around with my words, even in the most public places like this one. I grew up in a very regimented military community, where there were clear lines between acceptable and not acceptable.

When my mom married in, her “performance”, was rated on my dad's yearly performance report. Because it was assumed that the officer wouldn't be a good candidate for commander, if he didn't have the supportive wifey willing to do all the unpaid commander’s wife work.

And he certainly couldn't be effective if his own kids were out of line. Obviously, he lacked leadership. And I say he, because there were hardly any women officers. So, we all learned how to play the roles for optimal approval.

Now, I rejected that early on. I did anything I could to get myself on exchange trips, or college far away, and to live my life differently. But our conditioning runs deep, doesn't it? And as women, most of us have been conditioned this way, to some extent. It feels very wrong to risk blowback and to not please everyone. But we can't please everybody, can we?

So, this is me coming back to that work, once again; new level new devil. And saying, “What you hear, is what you get.” I'm willing to have some people roll their eyes or unsubscribe, because being unapologetic about where I am and who I am, is the work that we're all here to do.

If you haven't listened to Episode 3: Finding Your Voice, you can find that in your podcast player, or at theuncommonway.com/three. It goes into this in more detail, and it gives some tactics for you to try out, too, for finding your voice and your convictions.

So, I want to say with gratitude, thank you for having been here with me as I did the scary thing, and I shared publicly for the first time, just how much of a role energetics has played in my business. And now, it's your turn friend.

Where have you been hiding? Are you saying one thing but thinking another? Are you trying to look good? Or conversely, are you not owning your gifts, because it's easier to hide them and lay low? What is the discrepancy between when you're most fully yourself and how you show up to your audience? And, what would you have to believe in order to come out from hiding? What would you have to believe?

I'll leave you with those questions to ponder, because they have clarified so much for me. And if you feel moved to do anything with them, I would love to support you as you've supported me. Tag me or DM me on Instagram® @theuncommonway, and I will be your loudest, proudest cheerleader.

We have all got to stick together through this uncomfortable work, for the sake of the other women that might be watching or the younger generations who will soon be watching.

Alright friends, until next week. On a certain level, you know who you are. And each day, you're stepping further into what you're here to create.

Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity for Strategy for Growing and Scaling Your Business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.

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Ep #5: Knowing Your People 101

How clear are you on what you offer to your clients? How well do you really know your people? So many entrepreneurs struggle to get clients or fully connect with them, and it holds them back in their businesses. But if you want to build a better connection and get that stop-the-scroll reaction from the content you provide, you need to know your people.

If you are early on in your business and can’t wait for things to finally click, you’re wanting to attract clients that are more aligned, or you simply want to create more impactful thought leadership that lands for your audience, you’re in the right place. In this episode, I’m showing you how to better connect with those amazing clients of yours.

Join me this week and learn how to step out of your frustration and limiting beliefs in your business and become the woman who confidently puts out content that really lands with your people. I’m sharing five key mindset shifts you’ll need to adopt to reap the benefits of this work and some tips to help you get comfortable with selling your customers what they want and giving them what they need.

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What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

• The number one problem I see across the board with new and established entrepreneurs.

• What leads to years of low or no sales and crickets on social media.

• How so many of your business woes will change when you do this work.

• The importance of prioritizing deeply knowing your people.

• A thought I frequently have when I’m wanting to hit a goal.

• The difference between messaging and copy.

• Why connection is a two-way street.

• How to sell out your services and work with clients you love.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

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• If you would like help getting clear on what you are offering and how to talk about it, you have to join us in The Clarity Accelerator. It’s 60 of the best-spent days you’ll ever have, and you’ll get my eyes on your business and your messaging helping you dial all this in. There’s a spot available for September, so click here to schedule a call with me as soon as possible to learn more.

Full Episode Transcript:

If you're early on in your business, and you can't wait for things to finally click. Or, your words are connecting with people, and you know it, because when someone hops on a discovery call with you, they still remember that thing you wrote. And they say, “That, that was speaking right to me.” Or, if you're further along, but you want to call in clients that are better aligned, or you just want to create more impactful thought leadership that really lands for your people, for your audience. Here's what you have to do: You have to prioritize deeply knowing your people, and how they think and how they talk.

You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life, by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top ranked business coach and reformed over analyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.

Hey, I'm recording this on the first week after the podcast went live. It is so exciting to see this baby alive and out there. Thank you, everyone, for leaving reviews and downloading episodes and all the things. Now by the way, I am getting over a cold, so I might sound a little different.

Okay, here are just a few of the stats from this past week: We had over 100 downloads in the first three days alone. We had 11 five-star ratings, and we jumped up over 40 points on Apple's competitive business entrepreneurship listing. Now those would probably make big podcasters cry into their soup. But I am thrilled. Thank you for making that possible.

And thank you to those who have left reviews. Here is one from Doodly5; Hi Doodly5. They say, “Ok. This podcast is worth the time! I see why Jenna is called the queen of clarity! Just listening to her has helped me have MULTIPLE breakthroughs about my business! Through actionable advice and grounded tips, YOU are empowered to be your best, clearest self! Thank you Jenna for your wisdom and for sharing it with all of us!”

Aww, thank you, Doodly5. Thanks for taking the time to do that. I'm so glad you're finding it helpful. And, I know all of us are busy, right? Maybe you listen to this as you're working out or driving. And you tell yourself, “Yeah, I am definitely going to help Jenna out and leave a review. But the fact that you actually turn that into action is just; thank you so much.

It's kind of like smiling at a stranger, it's this little thing you do that takes less than a minute, and you're on with your day. But it ends up being so impactful to the person on the receiving end. And your reviews do have a huge impact. Just like with Amazon products or local business listings, reviews are the primary drivers of podcast success, and downloads too, obviously. But there's a short window when the algorithm favors new podcasts. So, I am grateful for your help.

As a founding listener of this podcast, someone ahead of the curve naturally, I am grateful to you for creating the momentum that will get this podcast in front of that woman who is struggling with a decision, or tempted to give up on that inner nudge to do something a little differently. Or, they're going crazy because they can't figure out what will resonate with their audience, which is today's topic, of course. So, let's get this podcast in their hands now rather than later.

A quick reminder that this is the last day within our two-week launch window. So, this is the day to leave a review. And also, the last day to enter to win one of the great prizes we're giving away. You'll find that link in the show notes. And if you're listening to this after August 13th, I'm still asking you to please leave a review, they still matter.

And now, let's talk about how to better connect with those amazing clients of yours. Because the number one problem that I see across the board with entrepreneurs, I'd say at least 80 to 85% of new entrepreneurs, but a lot of more established ones too, is that you don't put the time and attention into really listening to and then speaking directly to your people. Not the people you were serving two years ago, but the people in front of you now.

So many of your business woes will disappear once you change that. It’s like igniter fluid for your business. And you'll just feel better too, more grounded, and confident, for sure. Because you won't be wondering if this is all landing, you'll know. And you won't have that icky feeling of resenting your audience, which we all get at one time or another. But since connection is a two-way street, you'll feel the warm fuzzies in a way you might not right now.

So, do this quick exercise with me. Think about how it feels in your body when you're thinking: How do I interest people in my services? Feel that. Okay, now compare that to how it feels when you're really so interested in them. When you're fascinated, curious, enthralled, feel that. Yeah, that feels way better.

I remember I heard Brooke Castillo say, “You need to learn to fall in love with your potential clients,” it's true. The same level of interest you have from learning about yourself from that BuzzFeed® personality quiz or your psychoanalyst unraveling your childhood trauma, you need that same level of interest for your people. And personally, I'm honored to get to help my people, even the ones that will never buy from me.

I've overheard Christian parents saying things like, “God gave me one of his children to raise as my own. And, I'm honored to be given that trust.” I'm not Christian, but that's how I feel about my clients and my audience. Each part of the work, of knowing my people, is to me like a spiritual practice. From that place of service or curiosity, you can so much more easily stay in the energy little bring in more clients.

And it is possible to connect with your future clients much more quickly than many of you realize. It's not better or worse than any other way. But it can absolutely happen in a flash. This is how I made 90,000 last year from Google® alone, with zero nurturing other than what people read on my website, and what we talked about on a single call. Even if they were interviewing a bunch of other top business coaches. And the same phenomena happens sometimes, with random Facebook® posts that I or my clients put out, too.

But that kind of stuff, the scroll reaction, doesn't happen by accident. First, you need clarity on your zone of genius, so you know exactly what you're offering. And then, you've got to know your people well enough that you can describe it to them in a way that lands. You've got to get really intimate with your people.

I just said intimate, and it reminded me of when Ben and I were first dating, and I thought, “I might want my home base to be in Panama.” Right? So, I drag him down there with me; we're house hunting. And in typical style, I choose like, an island off an island off the main island, in Bocas del Toro. Because otherwise it just be too on the beaten track, you know.

So, we're staying in this tree house in the jungle. This was not glamping by the way. And we walk in, and the bathroom door is nothing more than a few rows of beads hanging down; very 70’s. And Ben turns to me and he just sighs, he's like, “Okay, well, we're gonna get to know each other really well, on this trip.” I just lost it.

So yeah, you don't want to get that intimate with your people, not bead curtain intimate. But yes, intimate enough that they're probably telling you things they haven't actually expressed to anyone before. And intimate enough that when you overhear them talking, you're like; yep, that's one of them right there.

To do that, you need to have old-school, analog, person-to-person conversations with the kind of person that you'd like to work with. You need to ask them good questions, that go way beyond surface level. You need to analyze and contemplate the information that you gather. And, you need to verify that it's useful for calling in more of the people you want to work with.

Now, you might be thinking, “But Jenna, I used to be my person, I know exactly what she's going through. But for some reason, people aren't responding.” Listen, even if you're helping people with a transformation, you yourself went through just a few months ago, there is a world of difference between how you see the world and the language you have to describe your experience, and your client’s perspective.

And it's your job, literally your j-o-b, to speak to your audience in the way that they understand, not the way you understand it. Or worse, the way you want them to understand it. Let's say you're using coach language like; I help women increase their self-worth, so they can feel empowered to make transformative decisions.

But what they're saying, is they want to get brave enough to tell their loser boyfriend to take a hike. They might think that what you're saying sounds nice. They may even think, “Oh, maybe someday I should do something like that.” But they're not going to be all, “Oh, let me whip out my credit card, because I need that exact thing, right now.”

That's an oversimplification, but it paints the picture of the huge disconnect between what so many people are selling, and what most people decide to buy. Don't let yourself get discouraged, right now. I can honestly hear some of those internal groans all the way here in my walk-in closet, in Pennsylvania, where I'm recording this.

“But Jenna, it's not about being brave. It's about her low self-worth. If I help her with her self-worth that solves everything.” Don't worry, I'm not asking you to say anything you don't believe. Believe me, there's plenty of room for nuance in your messaging. I'll give you some examples of that in a minute.

I am all about depth and integrity and not dumbing anything down. But I stand beside my primary point which is, that we fall into the trap of using our language rather than our client's language. She doesn't think it's about self-worth. Otherwise, she would have said that. She's an adult with a fully functioning vocabulary.

The link with self-worth is what you get to show her, once you are her coach. And sometimes you might want to do it very strategically in your content. But we'll save all that for future episodes. For now, we're focused on their perspective. This disconnect is what leads to years of no or low sales, or crickets on social media, which I don't personally care about. Because I've had tons of clients that have followed me but never even clicked like. But I know a lot of you do.

And then when you're getting the results you don't like, you're making it mean something about you. And maybe you start ping-ponging among different offers, or niches, or throwing spaghetti at the wall, and wondering whether or not to just give up on this whole crazy idea anyway.

Which reminds me of my client, Crystal; she came to me for clarity, because she wanted to switch and start doing a different kind of coaching. She was a health coach. And when I asked her why, she told me she was so sick of dragging people along to the result, that they said they wanted. Maybe some of you can relate to this. But that set little alarm bells off in my head, because I know not everyone is like that.

So, I asked her how she was marketing, what was her messaging like? And she said that she would say things like; have you really been struggling with all different kinds of diets, but nothing seems to work? And you wish you just had something that was easy, that you could actually do? Something like that. Well, that is a tried and trusted messaging for weight loss. But it's also what's used on commercials for diet pills, and for TV dinners.

Those are marketed to people that want the quickest, easiest solution. So Crystal was bringing in all of these people that were in struggle, would probably continue to struggle, for reasons other than the scope of this podcast, and she was calling in the ones who just wanted the quick, easy fix.

So, I asked her; if she could work with anyone, what would they be like? And she said, well, honestly, it would be women like her. You know, career women that are used to going after what they want. And, they tend to get it. Right? When they put their mind to something, they accomplish it. But those people, she told me, would never actually buy from her because they could do it on their own.

I suggested that she go out and just talk to some of those people, right? Find a few of them and just have a conversation with them. And there's a set of strategic questions I give my clients, so they can draw out the answers and the language they need. Because what I knew, is that she had an underlying belief that she couldn't create a business around what she wanted.

You know, we talk about money scarcity, or time scarcity. But there's client scarcity, too. And, I see it a lot. So, it turns out that after she spoke with women, she did actually find women like this, we noticed something very interesting in the client language. And it was this; those women never talked about struggle. What they said instead was, that it hadn't been a priority.

They had had families, kids, they were focusing on their careers, and they'd put on some extra weight. And until now, it just hadn't been a priority to get it off. But now it was, and they wanted someone to just help them get it done; faster, easier, better.

So, when she started speaking to those kinds of people, using that language, she immediately booked out her group program with clients she loved. Can you believe that she was almost about to give up on what she loved? All because she had some limiting beliefs about what was even possible, and didn't know how to gather and analyze client language.

This is the kind of thing that drives me crazy. And, I want to help you step out of that frustrated, throw your hands in the air, version of Crystal and step into the after version. I want to see you become the woman who confidently puts out content, knowing it's what your people care about and desperately want help with. Or, has conversations with people, or goes on TikTok®, whatever; it doesn't have to be social media, the medium does not matter. I just want you to feel that peace of mind.

One of the thoughts I frequently have, that I want to share with you, when I'm wanting to hit a certain monthly goal, or maybe there's a potential client and I'm not sure if she's going to come through, and insecurity starts to surface. I say, “Jenna, they want this so much more than you want it. To me, it's another client. To them, it's changing their life.”

I know that because I've talked to so many of them about it. Not because I've decided that's how they should feel about it, and I'm trying to convince them of that. Sense the difference there? So then, I can just relax. I don't have to go chasing after anything, or stressing about ‘will they, won't they.’

And once you feel that sense of clarity, you can focus on much higher value things in your business, than ‘what do I talk about today?’ You're focused on getting in front of your people. You're focused on figuring out how to move your people along the buyer’s journey and into a yes. Or, how to help them get the best results, once they've said yes.

I know some of you right now, are like; but I'm just not a good writer, it's so hard. This isn't about how you write. Don't confuse messaging with copy; there's a difference. I do teach some copywriting in the Clarity Accelerator, I’m happy to talk about it here. If you want that, just let me know in the reviews.

But messaging is different than copy. You could be standing in line at the coffee shop and deliver great messaging to the person next to you, and never write a word. Messaging is what reflects your understanding of your client psychology; their way of seeing the world and moving through the world.

And since your clients are the most important part of your business, this is where a large percentage of your time should go, especially in the beginning. You need to be like a detective. That's why, in my three-part Clarity Formula, part one is know yourself, and part two is know your people; they have equal weight. And they're both the precursors to the final part, which is talk about how you and your people connect.

Okay, here are some key mindset shifts you'll need to adopt, in order to reap the benefits of this work. If you aren't in a place where you can pause this and take notes, make sure you check the time on this episode, so you can come back to this point.

All right, number one, I've got five of them, by the way. Number one, you can form a business around whatever you want to form a business around. If you're convinced that those people would never buy, then you're not going to open yourself up to testing and getting to know that audience.

Number two, your people are telling you what they want. There really is no mystery about this. You just have to ask the right questions to get the key answers, and actively listen to what they say.

Number three, you aren't exactly the same person you used to be. You perceive the problem and solution differently, and your language is different now.

Number four, okay, this one's for my entrepreneurs who have been in business for a few years. Markets grow increasingly sophisticated over time; you can't rest on the messaging that used to work for you.

And number five, you will always end up helping your clients with much more than they expect. But you've got to become comfortable selling them what they want. I’m going to repeat that: You have to become comfortable selling them what they want. As long as you say it with integrity, of course.

So, let's break those down. Number one, you can form a business around whatever you want. I have a feeling I'll get some strongly worded feedback on this one. But I've seen the limiting belief in action too many times to not address it. People get so convinced that a certain type of client doesn't exist or would never buy, that they force themselves into something that's not a fit.

Now, it's true. Sometimes you do need to make some adjustments to where in the buyer’s journey or people are, etc. I mean, yeah, you can't sell a Mercedes® to homeless people. But you can still sell Mercedes to people who will then feel like they found home.

Number two, your people are telling you what they want. And they're telling you how to sell it to them, too. So many people, especially people that have a habit of confusion, stay in the energy of ‘I don't know.’ And worse, “I can't figure this out. I just don't know why I'm not connecting with them. I don't know what they want.” I can certainly empathize; I have been there.

But that is very disempowering. Trying to create content and lead from that place, will not bring you the results you want. I went before you; I can attest. But when you shift into; how can I ask a better question? What do I already know for sure? And what's left for me to figure out? That is a very different energy.

Number three, you aren't exactly the same person you used to be. I gave more detail on this earlier, with that example of self-worth in relationships. This is especially true if you've gone through a coach certification or done years of personal development work.

Now, you can, of course, choose to market to people who are anywhere along that spectrum, of whatever started you on this journey up until where you are today. Those are all valid options. But the closer they are to where you are today, the less help people will need from you.

The transformation you're offering will not be as great. They may or may not still value it highly, you'll have to test that. But for sure, the people that are right where you are now, spoiler, they're probably not going to pay money to get where they already are.

So, figuring out this nuance, the question of; where is that sweet spot, between who will pay me for help and who am I actually interested in speaking to, is really part one type work. It's ‘know yourself’ work. You need to make that decision, especially if you're just starting out.

Some of you might have picked up on the fact that I market to entrepreneurs at different stages in their journey. But I've also been in marketing for years. And I'm very clear on the psychographic undercurrents that tie people together. That's why I can have a group call with very new entrepreneurs and seven figure business owners, and we can all derive benefit from the call. We're talking about a lot of common themes, just at different levels.

Speaking of which, let's talk to those entrepreneurs that are further along. Number four is markets grow increasingly sophisticated over time. This is something that my first coach, Luisa Zhou; I love you. This is something that she taught me. You can't just keep reusing the messaging you used years ago.

This is a product of more and more people entering the market. Which means, more and more people serving that market, talking to that market, more information available and shared among the people in that market. But also, it's a product of our consciousness as humans. It is evolving rapidly.

Do you ever watch 80’s movies, and you are just shocked at what people used to say? That's easy to spot, but it's happening at a more subtle level all around us every day. There's no way I could have spoken about some of the things I do now, even just five years ago.

Like nowadays, most of my clients that come to me with confusion or indecision, they already know that their own brains are getting in the way of their clarity. So, I can end this podcast each week by saying, “On a certain level, you know who you are.” And my people will be like, “Yes, she's right. It's so true.”

That's languaging I evolved into, through carefully paying attention to my people. And the thing is, it's not just your people that evolve, you evolve too. You're called to serve a slightly different person. Or, you do your own belief work or personal development work and your audience changes. The truth is, you can see a lot of your own evolution reflected in the clients that are coming to you.

I remember being so surprised when I was starting out, because I saw a Facebook post with someone asking; why is it that clients always say they don't have the money? And I was like, that's not how mine object. Mine say, they don't have the time or now's not the right time.

We were each attracting the people that reflected our own issues. So, I always say, clarity is an evolution, it's never done. I never stop doing the work in the Clarity Accelerator. That's why I offer a lifetime access. Because I know my clients will use it. I get to my next level, and it's time to start again.

Likewise, with my clients. I'll help them with their messaging in the bootcamp, that's the Clarity Accelerator main program. But six months later as a private client, and then, for as long as we work together, they're learning more about themselves, and their precise work and secret sauce, and practicing owning that and stepping into it more fully. And they're updating that in their messaging, along the way.

Number five, you've got to become comfortable selling them what they want, with integrity, of course. Here's how you can massage your messaging to speak to your people but still be in integrity. I still have people who tell me they need help because they're just not finding their clients.

Now, I know that their clients are everywhere. I even believe that the universe will facilitate their connection with their clients for them. But that's another topic. But I need to address their concern, otherwise they won't believe that working with me will help resolve their issue. So, my place of integrity is to say that, “Yes, I'll help you call in your clients.”

I'm going to the end result of what they want, clients. And if someone presses me, “Yeah, but are you going to show me how to utilize Nextdoor to get in front of my clients?” I'm not going to mislead them. I'll say, “I'm going to show you how to create such effective messaging that you can put it out anywhere.” And depending on what other cues I picked up from them, I might explain the mindset shift of believing that your clients are everywhere.

But if I get someone that stands their ground and says,” I really want someone who's going to show me to use Nextdoor.” Then I will say, “Here's a coach that I recommend you speak with.” Because the last thing you want, is to bring in a client that isn't hungry for the magic that you're offering. And, it might be that a year from now they come back to you. They're now at a point where they get what you were saying, and they're way better client because of it.

Here's another example. When I hired a parenting coach, I thought I just wanted someone to give me a personalized guide for dealing with my son's issues. Later, in the post-sale coaching, I learned that my thinking and behavior was more of a problem than Dylan's was. But if my coach hadn't been willing to meet me where I was, I probably wouldn't have hired her. I just would have thought; Oh, she thinks it's all about me. But she's never met my son.

My coach addressed that in her messaging, which, by the way, was just a conversation; it wasn't a fancy sales page. She said things like, “I know, for me, I just wished someone would give me a personalized playbook for dealing with my son.” And I lit up because that's exactly what I think.

Well, she did definitely personalize things for me. And, we did talk about how to deal with my son. His behavior changed in many ways. And, my experience certainly changed. And, I wrote her a glowing testimonial. But it didn't happen in the way I expected when I was on that discovery call.

So, I'll give you some quick tips about how to become comfortable with this whole idea of selling them what they want and giving them what they need in case you're feeling resistance right now.

First, you have to clean up your judgment. If you're judging the person who wants to get skinny, or the one who thinks her business will suddenly transform if she just uses a new app, or the mom who wants to change her child's behavior so she can feel better, clean that up.

It often involves healing your own judgement of yourself in the past, maybe you used to be like that. There's some reason that you feel so strongly about this. Or, there's a reason you don't feel in integrity; figure that out and heal it.

Because otherwise, you're inadvertently telling people that they are wrong and not good enough. Who wants to work with someone like that? They don't know what they don't know, period. They're doing the best they can with what they have.

And, you're so excited to help accelerate their journey because you know what awaits them. Only after you've cleaned all this up, can you make some strategic decisions about how you'll choose to speak, about what they want.

Where are you going to use direct client language? Where will you massage it? Where will you speak to their humanity? Where will you speak to their higher self? Once you incorporate these mindset shifts, and you lean in fully to this work and apply this work, you are going to have a very different business.

Your clients will feel conscious resonance. Conscious, like what I told you about when I hired my parenting coach; how is she in my head? That's exactly what I think. But they'll also feel subconscious resonance. There's a form of subconscious resonance that happens when you bring forth your mission or your purpose into your messaging. That's not what I'm talking about in this episode.

What I mean is, they'll feel safe. What you're saying feels familiar, and they feel seen. And ultimately, priming them with that sense of safety, is what will help them get not just the results they so desperately want, but the totality of the transformation available to them with your help. The brain allows change when it feels safe to do so.

So, for instance, I tend to drop some big words here and there, contrary to marketing best practices. But the women who work with me are comfortable with that. They're used to it in their own lives, and they feel a little safer investing with me because of it.

Those who aren't comfortable with it, don't stick around, even though they probably don't have any conscious judgment about it. Kind of like swearing. It's important for me to swear publicly because it's likely going to come out on some coaching call, and when I'm in the middle of the coaching space, I don't want to be putting my energy into thinking about what I should or shouldn't say. But for some people, swearing is a no-go.

This kind of self-selection is a beautiful thing. Resonance is a beautiful thing. It means less work and fewer upsets for everyone involved. Your business will get easier in other ways with this work, too. You don't tire yourself out deliberating what to even write about or pivoting your business. You make decisions more quickly and decisively. And you move more quickly.

There's a training I have, in module five, it's the Understanding Your People, and I show clients how to create a social media post in about 60 seconds, just by plugging and playing this information that people give you. And the combinations are endless because your people are constantly feeding you new bits of data.

But you know what I love? Keening into the language and mindset, it helps me tap back into the emotional space of where my clients are. Honestly, sometimes it's hard to get my brain back to how it used to be. Now, sometimes there are events that trigger those old emotions, like right now, with launching this podcast, I'm feeling some of them. And, I love that level of connection and empathy that it's gifted me. But sometimes it's a little harder to get there.

And you know, what else gets you back there? Having a heartfelt conversation with somebody who's struggling, who is right smack-dab in the middle of that pain or frustration, or however they experience it. And, they're really searching for a way out. That brings me right back, every single time.

Now, we've covered a lot of mindset and key concepts here today, so even though I usually like to share both mindset and tactics on each episode, we're actually splitting this one into two. In a coming episode, I'll be sharing the five-step process I recommend for nailing your messaging. In the meantime, if you have any questions, please pop them into a review, so I can make sure to address them.

And now to recap: Messaging is not copy. But it's why a lot of new entrepreneurs struggle to get clients, and why a lot of other entrepreneurs aren't calling in the right clients, or aren't maximizing their thought leadership.

It's your job to speak to your audience in the way they understand, not the way you want them to understand it. Luckily, your people are telling you exactly what they want, and how to sell it to them. You just have to listen and ask the right questions to get the answers.

And then, you've got to become comfortable selling them what they want, what they’ve told you. The way you do that is; you clean up your judgment, you heal your own past, you fall in love with your client’s journey, and you'll get clear on what you will and won't say out of integrity.

Remember, you can form a business around whatever you want. But even once you're up and running, this work doesn't end. You evolve, and markets evolve too. There's not an entrepreneur out there who should ever stop doing this clarity work. And if you're starting out, begin this work sooner rather than later. It's not something you can afford to put off.

If you'd like help getting clear on what you're offering and how to talk about it, join us in the Clarity Accelerator. It's 60 of the best spent days you'll ever have. You'll get my eyes on your business and your messaging, helping you dial this in. I walk you through everything step-by-step. Everyone says they love the structure.

There's a new module each week, with a mindset training that relates directly to what will likely be coming up for you. I only bring a few people through each month, so this is not the kind of place where you can get lost. And, you don't have to move at anyone else's pace either. I make sure to stagger all of the start dates.

You and I will have one-to-one calls, and I'll know everything about your business. Plus, we have weekly group calls and workshops where you get to learn from peers who are at different stages of the journey. Yes, but it's always very relevant because everyone here is solely focused on clarity. You've never been in a room like this before.

It took me five years to perfect this system and the way of delivering it, to help my clients as quickly as possible. If you suspect this might be exactly what you've been needing, get on a call with me as soon as possible through the link in the show notes. At the time of this recording. There's a spot available for September, but it won't be available long.

Okay, my friend. That is it for today.

And remember, on a certain level you know who you are. And, every day you're stepping further into what you are here to create.

Hey, to celebrate the launch of the show, I'm going to be giving away three really great prizes; a pair of AirPods Pro™, a six-month subscription to Audible®, and a $50 Amazon.com Gift Card™. I'll be giving these away to some lucky listeners who follow, rate, review, and share the show.

Here's why your help is essential. I need to know what resonated with you and what you're still curious about. So, I can create the most high-value content for you. I don't want to create what other people want. I want to create what you want. So, I need to hear from you.

And also, this work changes lives; it sure as hell changed mine. I am on a mission to get these episodes into the hands of everyone who needs it. Since this isn't your first rodeo, and you've listened to a podcast or two before, you know that follows, rates, reviews, and shares are how this new baby podcast will get seen and bumped up in search results. Thank you for spreading the word!

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Ep #4: The Science of Nonconformity with Vasily Klucharev

What exactly is going on in the brain when we let our opinions or decisions be swayed by others? Why are some people more likely to go along with the crowd than others? Where are we most susceptible to conforming? These are just some of the questions that led me to contact Dr. Vasily Klucharev, possibly the world’s leading neuroscientist studying conformity, or what he would label Social Influence.

If like me, you love to geek out on brain science, you are in for such a treat this week. What Dr. Vasily Klucharev shares is going to change how you think about your decision-making and the decisions made by those around you forever.

Listen in this week to hear the impact of social influence on decision-making and the importance of questioning your opinions and allowing them to be questioned by others. Learn why the more we can understand and unpack social influence, the cleaner our decisions and the more grounded our convictions become, and some powerful ways to think about social influence, conformity, and non-conformity.

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What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

• The only three things you need to focus on to have a successful business.

• Why, to understand our own decisions, we need to understand the decisions of others.

• The importance of knowing the why behind your decisions.

• What conformity and nonconformity are and the difference between the two.

• More about Dr. Klucharev’s ground-breaking experiments and what they revealed.

• The interesting chain of events that led Dr. Klucharev to this line of study.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

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• Dr. Vasily Klucharev: LinkedIn

• Influence, New and Expanded: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini

• Digital Freedom Productions

Full Episode Transcript:

What exactly is going on in the brain when we let our opinions or decisions be swayed by the opinions of others? Why are some people more likely to go along with the crowd than others? And, where are we most susceptible to conforming? Those are just a few of the questions that led me to contact Dr. Vasily Klucharev, who's possibly the world's leading neuroscientist studying conformity, or what he would call social influence.

If you're like me, and love to geek out on brain science you are in for such a treat today, because he agreed to an interview. And, what he shares is going to forever change how you think about your decision making, and the decisions made by those around you. So, stick around.

You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life, by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top ranked business coach and reformed over analyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.

Jenna Harrison: Hey, welcome back to The Uncommon Way. I have such a special episode for you. Obviously, it's a fascinating subject, and it's such a gift to be able to learn about it directly from such a preeminent scientist. As an entrepreneur, you know that decisions are everything. And since you're drawn to doing things your own way, your own uncommon way, you're looking to make autonomous, conscious aligned decisions.

But you're also the kind of person that questions why you are the way you are. You know that sometimes your decisions aren't really your decisions, made from your highest most visionary place. They're someone else's, or something else's, like your biology or your triggers. The more we can understand and unpack all of that influence, the cleaner our decisions, and the more grounded our convictions become.

I mean, think about it, how can you build a business that's a true reflection of you, without getting to know you? That's why it's step one of the only three things you need to focus on for a successful business. Know yourself, know your people, talk about how those two connect. And, it's in that spirit of self-understanding that I am so excited to bring you this episode.

But the other reason this episode is special is because it has a personal significance for me. This was the first podcast episode I ever created. And guess what? We recorded it five years ago. I wanted to share that because I see too many content creators develop a short timer’s attitude. You think the worth of your content is determined by the likes or engagement it gets over the next 24-hour period.

It can feel really heavy when you're thinking that you're pouring love and effort into something short-lived, and you let that heaviness hold you back from sharing your ideas more. But what if you believe that your content was definitely going to land with someone. You just might not know when; it could be right away.

But what if the work you're creating now is going to resonate with someone a year from now, when you repurpose or retool or even flat out recycle that exact post? If that's an exciting thought, I have an upcoming episode on content resurrection that you've got to check out. So, make sure to click follow or that little plus sign on your podcast player so you don't miss it.

Okay, before we dive into the interview, I really want to say thank you to those of you that have supported what we're doing here, by sharing this podcast, downloading episodes, and leaving a review. You have the ability to brighten someone's day by getting this uncommon way of thinking, about business and life, into their hands or ears, I guess. And, we do that by getting noticed by the algorithms during these critical first couple of weeks. It's a very special opportunity in time, to get in front of people that might otherwise take years to find us. So, thank you.

And if you haven't had a chance to leave a review yet, that's okay. You still can do so, and then possibly win a pair of AirPods Pro™, a six-month subscription to Audible®, and a $50 Amazon.com Gift Card™. Listen up later in this episode for how to enter to win.

Okay, now back to our interview. In this episode, we talk first about the interesting chain of events that led Dr. Klucharev to this line of study. And then, he'll offer some powerful ways to think about conformity and nonconformity. And about 10 minutes in, we dive into his groundbreaking experiments and what they revealed.

And then in the end, we move on to what that means for the future. What deserves to be studied next? And, would it ever be possible to lessen or intensify a person's ‘give a shit’ factor? It is such a good conversation. And it's just the beginning, we would love to have him back for a five-year update. So, take note of any questions that come up for you, and then pop them into your podcast review, so I can make sure to cover them in our next episode.

And now, I hope you enjoy this conversation with Dr. Vasily Klucharev, preeminent neuroscientist and the head of the Department of Psychology at the Higher School of Economics, National Research University in Moscow.

Dr. Klucharev, thank you so much for being here with us. There are so many interesting things about your research and the studies, but let's start off with; I know that it was not heavily researched, a heavily researched topic, so I'm really fascinated about how you became interested in it.

Dr. Vasily Klucharev: Actually, I think I got interested in this topic by an accident. So basically, 20 years ago, I investigated neurobiological mechanisms of emotions. And I conducted my studies in St. Petersburg, in Russia, in my home country. I read the book on social psychology, and this is the best-selling book of [Robert] Cialdini on social influence. I was fascinated by social psychology.

And for a neurobiologist, it was a shock to discover how much we’re influenced by others. Because in classical neuroscience, we kind of ignore this fact that our decisions and our behavior is very much affected by others and modulated by others. And it was a very new idea for me, that to understand our decisions we have to understand also decisions of others, or at least take into account social influence.

Twenty years ago, I had no idea how to investigate neurobiological mechanisms, social events; no tools. Actually, also by an accident, 15 years ago, a new field of neuroscience was established, so called neuroeconomics, and in neurobiology of social influence. This field is trying to create an interdisciplinary model of decision-making.

Neuroeconomics is very much affected by social psychology, by behavioral economics, and by neuroscience. Neuroeconomics is a kind of a theory of decision-making. This new theory, or this new field, gave me a tool to study social influence. So basically, my idea was to investigate how social agents manipulate this decision-making mechanism, affect this decision-making mechanism. It helps to understand the neurobiological mechanisms urging conformity in some.

And actually, 15 years ago, I joined the new laboratory in Netherlands. And it was an interesting laboratory, established by the Department of Neuroscience and by the Department of Marketing. They were interested, actually, in my topic in neurobiology of social influence. At that time, I think only a couple of laps in the world were interested in this topic.

Jenna: It's just a beautiful irony that you are studying nonconformity, and at the same time, you are a nonconformist. Because there weren't too many people studying this. So, were you like that growing up? Would you say you were a bit nonconformist?

Dr. Klucharev: So, I would say I would be careful with the label nonconformist. I think an ultimate nonconformist is a very unique and annoying person; a person who doesn't follow any norm. So, I would say in some context, I am nonconformist. Perhaps when I deal with my personal values and scientific interest.

In some contexts, I like norms. For example, I like norms during conversations, communication. I am annoyed by non-polite communication. In this sense, I'm kind of a conformist. I like the social mores. But as this regards my personal values and scientific interest, yes, I am kind of a non-conformist, because it was actually quite difficult to push this line of research. Not many people understood it.

For neuroscientists, it was a relatively new idea that others do affect our brain activity and decision-making. For social psychologists it was also a bit of a strange line because they couldn't understand the added value of neurobiology. Why should you get some neurobiological mechanisms of explaining this series? I think it took a lot of time to overcome this skepticism of the community.

And to be honest, actually, social influence also helped us a lot, because one of our early studies was published on the cover page of a very popular journal, it was kind of a social influence in the scientific community. Actually, it effected a lot of people.

Jenna: So, would you say that you could describe this conformity, human conformity, as a spectrum? Because I agree that there certainly, on one end, an antisocial behavior that could even be pathological, right? On the other hand, there's a situation where you have an individual that's so conformist, that even though their deep underlying values are urging them in a different direction, they refuse to follow that, whatever that is; that drive.

Dr. Klucharev: Yeah, I agree with you. I mean, to be honest, we don't fully understand the neurobiological reasons of individual differences and in formatives. So, I think it's also important to mention that conformity is not something negative. Conformity is a cheap way to learn from the behavior of others.

So, evolutionarily speaking, this is a very good strategy. We shouldn't try everything ourselves. It's enough to look at what others are doing. Most of the time, particularly the constant environment, it works very well. Medical models show that the community can face some problems when the environment changes. In this case, very strong conformity can actually destroy them as a community, because social norms will drive us in the wrong direction.

But normally, conformity is a good way to learn many things. And it looks like we have some natural, individual differences in the levels of conformity. And to be honest, we don't still understand the reasons. So, we have some hints why do people differ. They have subtleties, for example, they show even a difference in core cortical structure of people who are more nonconformist, as compared to conformists. But we still don't understand the reasons why do we have this variety of conformism analysis?

Jenna: Interesting. So, in terms of your own social influence, are there any things you can pinpoint in your environment that made you who you are, in terms of a scientist?

Dr. Klucharev: I lived in a very, in a way, a strange and unique environment, because I entered university during a collapse of Soviet Union. And it was an interesting moment of a kind of freedom, and a completely new experience. We were able to read new books, we discovered free speech, freedom of journalism. I would say, of course, many people leave during that time.

I think also in my family, and actually my father and mother were scientists; they were physicists. So, in a way they also tried to discover new things. I don't think that something really unique happened in my life that drive me to be a nonconformist.

I was very much affected by my scientific supervisor. She was very talented lady, unfortunately, she’s dead now. But for example, she told me a lot about new developments in neuroscience. She believed the future of neuroscience is related to interdisciplinary research. She particularly, actually, mentioned social neuroscience; that in the future, neuroscientists should take into account social interactions.

So, I would say maybe things could affect me, but I don't think there is a particular event or factor that could predict my research; I wouldn’t say so.

Jenna: They're all fascinating stories though, for sure.

When Dr. Klucharev was preparing to set up his now famous first experiment, there wasn't much precedent. It wasn't until he was in the middle of the project that he came across a couple of articles by Gregory Berns and Read Montague, and realized he wasn't alone in his interest.

What he had hypothesized was that the brain monitors our behavior and the behavior of others. And, when there's a deviation from the group norm, it produces a kind of signal, an error signal. It's a warning that something has gone wrong, that a prediction or expectation was not met.

He knew he’d be able to verify his hypothesis by monitoring the brains of his subjects with Magnetic Resonance Imaging, because that type of error signal had already been studied extensively for other behaviors. And lastly, they also thought that perhaps, the stronger that error activity was, the higher the probability that the subject would then change his or her opinion, in order to conform with others.

I'll let the doctor tell you about how they set up that experiment and what they found.

Dr. Klucharev: We just knew the regions of interest. This is the medial prefrontal cortex, and also so called, nucleus accumbens, and also ventral striatum, are the two related brain regions. They're both involved in the learning and error monitoring.

We exposed our subjects to the opinions of others. I can say a few words about our paradigm. I think we were lucky to create a very simple paradigm, but later it was used by other groups a lot. So, our subjects rated facial attractiveness of more than 200 faces. Subjects had to rate attractiveness on the scale of say, from 1 to 7. And at the end of each trial, our subject was exposed to the opinion of the group.

It was an average opinion of more than 100 students from the same university. In fact, actually, we manipulated this group opinion. Sometimes the group had the same opinion as our subject, and sometimes their opinion was different. We were able to compare brain responses to those two situations; when your opinion matches others and when your opinion mis-matches others. And we discovered that indeed, there is a conflict of opinions as this error-related activity is elevated. In next studies, we proved this discovery using other techniques.

Jenna: So, how were you actually able to manipulate their decision about whether to conform with a group?

Dr. Klucharev: Okay, this is kind of next study, because with different neuroimaging tools, you can answer very different questions. So, with fMRI, you cannot really show like a causal relationship between the brain activity and the behavior of yourself. So, you don't know whether this activity’s necessary for conformity.

To prove that, you have to use a different technique. In our study, we use Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation. So, with this device, Transcranial Magnetic stimulator, you can temporarily shut-down a brain region. So, by an alternative magnetic field, you can disturb activity for 10-20 minutes in a small region of the brain. So, we focus Transcranial Magnetic stimulator on this medial prefrontal cortex, and we temporarily suppressed activity in this region. And, what we showed is that it will lead it to the less conformative. So, our subjects became kind of nonconformist for 20 minutes.

Jenna: So, so interesting.

Dr. Klucharev: Basically, it shows the causal relationship between this neural mechanism and conformity. Some other groups later used other techniques, they manipulated - they gave some education [inaudible] to those subjects and also changed conformity of subjects, as well, using our teams.

Yes, a very interesting experiment was conducted in Denmark, because this brain region is rich of chemical called dopamine. So, you can manipulate the amount of dopamine in the brain, by some chemicals. And in that study, our Danish colleagues, they gave a drug that increases the amount of dopamine temporally, in the brain. And they showed that subjects became more conformist.

So, vices, drugs pick-up increased activity in this brain region. So, kind of like we have increased this error signal, indicating that you're different from others, and people started to change opinion more. Altogether, we got a lot of kind of support for our hypothesis; this particular brain region is involved and confirmed.

Jenna: Yeah, yeah. So, what are you interested in for the future, in this topic? What needs to be studied?

Dr. Klucharev: I think that many things are interesting. So first of all, many of my students asked me, “Okay, you investigated conformance, but do you know something about nonconformist? And to be honest, non-conformists are not very well investigated.

One interesting topic would be to investigate action non-conformist? Who are these people? Why are they different from majority of people? Another, actually, fundamental question is yeah; what are the major factors making people conformist? Is conformism based on our genotype, on social environment, on our childhood? To be honest, our field is missing this information. So, these factors have been studied by social psychology but not by cognitive neuroscience.

Also, it will be very interesting to investigate the influence of minorities, and then, how the minority is able to affect the majority. Of course, most of our studies focus on majority and how majority influences are working. But on the same time, we know that minority can also affect majority. And this is still a puzzling question. And then, how the majority is able to overcome the influence of… What kind of minority is able to overcome the influence of the majority?

Jenna: Oh, I love it. I love it. We'll have to keep up with your work.

Dr. Klucharev: Thank you so much.

Jenna: Are you aware of any corollary tendencies yet, with nonconformists? Other things that they're more likely to do?

Dr. Klucharev: There is some literature in social psychology on nonconformance. So, there are some psychological factors affecting the behavior. I remember one study, conducted in Japan, that investigated the difference in brain structure of conformists and nonconformists.

They actually investigated an interesting kind of… Portrayed a need for uniqueness. So, some people have a strong need for uniqueness; they actually would like to be different. And this interesting study actually showed that there was a difference in some brain structures, in people who have a strong tendency to be unique. And particularly this brain area, medial prefrontal cortex, is thinner.

So, you can speculate that perhaps these people experience a lessened error related signal when there’s a difference from others. But this is pure speculation. So, to be honest, nonconformists are not very well investigated. So, we have to, because there are not so many.

Jenna: And perhaps more difficult to identify, because there is this range that we talked about. So, you mentioned pharmacology, as a potential modulator of behavior with conformity and nonconformity. What are some of the other ways? I know you've talked about, in prior interviews, maybe looking for behavioral techniques that would affect that activity. Can you speak about that?

Dr. Klucharev: I think there are basically two ways to create these techniques. One can be like neuroscience [inaudible]. We actually tried to create something like that, it's not easy. I think we’re in the middle of this process. I think it will take time before we will create some techniques, based on our knowledge of neurobiological mechanisms, to come forward. We have some ideas. But to be honest, we are just testing these approaches right now.

There are some more classical ways to do it. In social psychology there are some ways to help people to prevent social influence. Something really simple for example, you can get a warning signal that you will discuss a certain subject. And in this case, you will be able to come up with some contrivance in advance and actually help.

Anyway, social influence is very strong, normally. In some cases, it could help you; a simple warning signal. Some techniques, based on so called inoculation theory, suggests that you can kind of, you can learn how to generate counterevidence.

So, for example, before social influence, you can get a very weak argument as that can be easily destroyed. And it will help you to practice, a bit, how to generate counterevidence. So, it's kind of inoculation technique, you can practice a bit, how to deal with social influence.

Actually, the same theory suggests that some kind of a tree of facts can be very much affected by social influence. It can be easily destroyed, because some facts that you've never criticized in your life, can be actually easily modulated by social agents. Like, to brush your teeth in the morning, you don't have a strong experience of criticizing this.

Actually, studies show that these kinds of beliefs are easily manipulated, because you never generated arguments supporting these ideas. On the other hand, this technique allows you to practice the generation of arguments supporting your [inaudible]. So, there are some kinds of basic mechanisms, including, for example, a training to say no, to refuse. It's particularly important for, let's say, alcohol consumption or for drug addictions, when teenagers, for example, have to say no.

And the rest of them, I would say, contradictory studies and results, it looks like some techniques are effective, some are not effective. I don't think there is a consensus on the effectiveness of the techniques. But it looks like, in some cases, you can help with this.

I would say that social psychology gives us right now, much more tools to resist social influence. Even though we have to take into account, that social influence is extremely automatic. And we basically never pay attention to social influence. Many studies shows that people just ignore the fact that they're affected by others. And this is the last reason for people to explain their decisions. Even many studies show that this is the most influential factor affecting our decision.

I think that some studies on alcohol consumption, on energy conservation, shows that with decisions, they're determined, fully determined by social norms, by behavior of neighbors, by behavior of our friends. And if you will ask people, they would never name this factor as a critical factor for your decisions.

So, I think that's the most important points that we basically never recognize socially. Yeah. Even enough education warning about social [inaudible], I think would help.

Jenna: Yes. Definitely. And then, the two ideas for the behavioral modification that I heard you say; one would be repetition. So over time, then we become less affected perhaps by this prediction error. If we get into the habit of purposely choosing to say no, or purposely choosing to go against the majority.

Dr. Klucharev: Yes, this is true. Yeah. But that's driven by this idea of neurobiological findings. This is true. So, habits are particularly resistant to change. To any change but particularly [inaudible].

Jenna: And then, I also heard that there might be some influence just of using logic. So, you mentioned building up an argument and taking time to work through the argument yourself, might help modulate your behavior over time.

Dr. Klucharev: Another point here, is that basically what do we see in our neurobiological studies is that this error signal, neurobiological error signal is a very automatic process. And. it's kind of a really fast response of our brain. So, you see the signal within 20 milliseconds after you detect that your opinion is different from others. And, this is a really fast process.

So, theoretically, that's one way to overcome it, is to delay your response and switch on other decision-making mechanisms of brain. So, to put it simple, we simplify of course, now, the neurobiological story, but we have multiple decision-making systems in the brain. Some people would call it system one, system two, emotional system, rational system.

Emotional decision-making system is really fast, but sometimes makes a lot of mistakes. Rational system is slower, and it can modulate the activity of the emotional system. So, I would say, in a particular situation, you can avoid some decisions imposed by social influence by delaying the decision, and switching on your rational decision-making system. Loading from your memory, whatever, from other sources and additional information. And you can treat the situation in a more rational way.

So, you have to remember that your initial fast response, your brain will need a very fast learning signal that will modulate your opinion. So, you can overcome it by kind of, if you will be able, by delaying your decision.

Jenna: Is there anything else that you think we should have covered, or that you'd like our audience to understand or know more fully?

Dr. Klucharev: I can just say a couple of words about our kind of recent version of the neurobiological mechanism, kind of informative. We call it sometimes, like a prediction error mechanism of social influence. And prediction error is an idea from computational neuroscience, from neuroeconomics, that basically suggests that each moment, during each decision, we generate some expectations of outcomes of our decisions.

So, it always generates expectations, and we compare the result of our decisions with expectations. And, whenever the outcome of the decision is different from your expectations, the brain generates a so called prediction error signal. It basically indicates that you have to change something in your behavior, in order to collect things expected out. If prediction error signal is zero, it means everything is okay, you shouldn’t change your decision.

So nowadays, we basically say that our brain, during our behavior, predicts that our decisions should match our group decisions. And, whenever our opinion or the outcome of our decision is different from norms, this learning signal is generated by the brain. So, whenever you read in my studies, like a prediction error mechanism, this is a kind of a basic learning mechanism, suggested by computational neuroscience, that change our behavior.

So, I'd say nowadays, I state our hypothesis in a bit more complicated way than we initially stated. That's basically it.

Jenna: Okay, fantastic. And so, you know, that just makes me wonder if a person has a tendency to be more nonconformist, and to assume, set their expectation that they are unique or different, like you mentioned in that Japanese study. I wonder if they exhibit an error signal when they realize that their opinion goes along with the general population, the majority?

Dr. Klucharev: Indeed, at least, what we do see in our studies and some of the previous studies, is they have a less error signal when they are different from the group. Actually, there was a very interesting study conducted by Keise Izuma in the States.

He asked people to, I think, rate t-shirts or something like this. Sometimes they were exposed to the opinion of their in-group, to the opinion of students, I think, from Caltech or something like that. And sometimes they were exposed to the opinion of out-group, and they were like criminals.

And, what he found is that this error signal is emitted when your opinion is different from the opinion of the in-group and when your opinion matches, so this error signal is context dependent. So, a brain likes to be similar to the out-group and doesn't like to be similar to the out-group.

So, for our brain, it is kind of mismatch when we're similar with out-group. It's a very context dependent, and so it looks like it can be that it causes nonconformist. The thing behaves differently from conformist. They present basically, that it's an error to be similar. In contrast to this.

Jenna: Interesting. Makes sense. Makes sense. Okay, Doctor, thank you so much for speaking with us.

Dr. Klucharev: Thank you very much.

Jenna: All right. I hope you loved hearing about these groundbreaking experiments and the nonconformist visionary who created them. It's sobering to know that conformity is one of the foremost reasons for our decisions, and yet we rarely recognize it's even happening.

But I think it's worth reiterating how Dr. Klucharev said that one of the most effective means of lessening that inclination to conform, is to prepare in advance, by coming up with our counter arguments. So, if we take the time to ground into our values and opinions, to know the why behind our decisions, we're less likely to be swayed. We're less likely to change everything because some coach or consultant suggests we should, or some shiny object happens to float across our feet.

I'll give you a very recent personal example. Preparing this podcast, I hired a top-notch team to help me. We're talking professional graphic designers, illustrators, sound editors, music editors, voiceover artists, producers and more. And, it has been amazing. Listening to this beautiful audio and watching everything come together feels like a total makeover.

I told my newsletter subscribers that I feel like Anne Hathaway in The Devil Wears Prada, after Stanley Tucci worked his magic. So, a little plug for the crew at Digital Freedom Productions because they are fantastic. But an earlier me would have been very swayed by all of their opinions. They do, after all, know more about podcasting than I do. And they have a clear track record of success.

But because I've done the work of knowing myself and my people, it was very easy for me to say, “No, that professional headshot is not right for the cover art. It's not going to capture the attention of my kind of people, in the way that a less perfect but more evocative image will. And that copy, that is really appealing, but it won't call in my ideal clients.” So, I need to create the copy because nobody knows them better than me.

Just watching myself with all these industry pros and how decisive I am about what works and doesn't work for my business, was the best part of all in the pre-launch process. It illustrated so perfectly, why I'm creating this podcast. I want you to have that same sense of certainty and control.

Now, another insight that Dr. Klucharev shared is that questioning your opinions and allowing them to be questioned by others, is actually how you come to better understand them and solidify them. You're more likely to change an unquestioned belief like; you should brush your teeth twice a day, then you are to change something you've repeatedly questioned. Which I find so ironic, because we spend so much of our lives hiding our truths away from others, and often even from ourselves.

We think we're keeping them safe, but actually we make them more vulnerable to getting swept aside. Are you ready to change that? Then, go do your thing. Turn left, if you want to turn left, even if it seems like someone else is turning right. Share your opinions because they're just as valid as the broader group, which is primarily made up of people who are just conforming to the group themselves.

And look, when I say this to you, I'm saying it to me, as well. We all need to be reminded. Maybe you're putting out your first social media posts. Or maybe you're like me, and you've been in business for years, and you're fully comfortable speaking your mind in your own circles. But now you're doing something new, like stepping onto a stage or writing a book, or launching a podcast.

But from now on, thanks to Dr. Klucharev, whenever you get the nudge to conform, you can just reassure yourself, “Oh, there's that prediction error firing in my brain again, that's all. I know what's going on. And, I have some remedies.”

So, my friend, if you want a place where you can start unpacking what you really believe and who you really are, and then use that to transform your business and the way you show up in it, then you've got to join us in the Clarity Accelerator. There's no other place like it.

Alright, my friends, that's it for today. And remember, on a certain level, you know who you are. And every day, you're stepping further into what you're here to create.

Hey, to celebrate the launch of the show, I'm going to be giving away three really great prizes, a pair of AirPods Pro™, a six-month subscription to Audible®, and a $50 Amazon.com Gift Card™. I'll be giving these away to some lucky listeners who follow rate, review and share the show.

Here's why your help is essential. I need to know what resonated with you and what you're still curious about so I can create the most high value content for you. I don't want to create what other people want. I want to create what you want. So, I need to hear from you.

And also, this work changes lives; it sure as hell changed mine. I am on a mission to get these episodes into the hands of everyone who needs it. Since this isn't your first rodeo, and you've listened to a podcast or two before, you know that follows, rates, reviews, and shares are how this new baby podcast will get seen and bumped up in search results.

Thank you for spreading the word. To learn more about the contest and how to enter to win the AirPods, the Audible subscription, or the gift card, just visit TheUncommonWay.com/podcast launch. I'll be announcing the winners on the show in an upcoming episode.

Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity First Strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.

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