Ep #31: Uncommon Sales Advice: How to Sell More by Trying Less
How do you feel about selling? Does it fill you with confidence and ease or do you want to hide away and avoid it altogether? Long ago, you formed an opinion about sales, and it probably wasn’t a very positive one. Now, here you are, running a business and having all this mind drama about having to generate revenue by – you guessed it – selling. But what if it didn’t have to be this way? What if you could sell more by trying less?
Episode Summary
Jenna shows you how your beliefs about selling are affecting the way you show up in your business and gives you a new approach to sales.
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Show Notes
How do you feel about selling? Does it fill you with confidence and ease or do you want to hide away and avoid it altogether? Long ago, you formed an opinion about sales, and it probably wasn’t a very positive one. Now, here you are, running a business and having all this mind drama about having to generate revenue by – you guessed it – selling. But what if it didn’t have to be this way? What if you could sell more by trying less?
Whether conscious or subconscious, the beliefs you currently hold about selling are affecting the way you market and sell. But just like all the other norms we’re upending, we can start doing things differently, and that includes selling. So this week, I’m helping you create your own uncommon approach to sales.
In this episode, learn two beliefs that could be affecting your sales and how to start selling more by trying less. Discover a counterintuitive approach to selling that will change everything for you, and I lead you through a somatic exercise so you can experience what this feels like.
What You’ll Learn From This Episode:
How what is meant for you will not pass you by.
Why people have a tendency to go overboard when it comes to sales.
How to believe the best of yourself and your client.
Why the way you are offering your product or offer could be obscuring its value.
How to identify where you may be overselling.
Why striking the right balance is easy once you build a body of belief about your offer.
How to move out of desperate energy and start selling with confidence and conviction.
Listen to the Full Episode:
Featured on the Show:
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Click here to sign up for my newsletter and find out how the Connect The Dots Method has helped clients in all stages of their business.
Follow me on Instagram for behind-the-scenes content and daily value bombs!
Full Episode Transcript:
Long ago, you formed an opinion about sales, and it probably wasn't a very positive one. And now here you are, running a business and having to generate revenue by, ugh, selling. But you know what? Just like all the other norms were upending, we can do things differently. Why don't we create our own uncommon approach to sales?
You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top-ranked business coach, and reformed over-analyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.
Hey, friends, welcome back to The Uncommon Way. I am back from my mastermind retreat in Mexico; it was fantastic. I went whale watching. I saw all this activity; mamas and babies and breaching whales, and tail slapping, and all the things in this huge room from which I could watch the sunrise over the Sea of Cortez. So romantic.
It was this full luxury, all-inclusive. And get this, I could have room service every day if I wanted, at no extra charge. Or, I could enjoy the wonderful restaurants. My favorites were the alfresco ceviche restaurant. They had this tostada with fresh crab and avocado. It was the most tender crab I've ever had. There was another restaurant where the chef had not one but two Michelin stars. I was tripping over myself; I was so excited.
But the most important thing of all, of course, was the accelerated mental uplevel that's possible when you're exchanging ideas with other people who are focused on the same things as you. It's like a true retreat for the mind.
And you're pulling your wisdom, and you're being challenged to make powerful and scary decisions. Depending on where you live, entrepreneurism can feel a little lonely. And the more that we can get together, the more invigorating and the better. Right?
So, right now, I'm super inspired with so many great things that I want to bring back to you all. So, stay tuned, right? There's lots and lots of good stuff coming your way.
Now, the inspiration for this particular episode came as I was in the airport about to leave. Somebody was selling something to me, and I became absolutely enthralled thinking about what he must be thinking in that moment, to say the things he was saying and do the things he was doing. I'll describe what was going on in a second, but my hunch is that it all boiled down to two very common but very unhelpful beliefs.
I'm going to break those down for you so you can think about whether you have them too. They likely don't show up for you the way they were showing up for him, or at least I hope not. But if they're there at all, they're affecting your sales and, therefore, your impact in the world. And this is true whether you're a coach doing direct sales calls or if you're selling physical products via email or your website.
At the end, we're going to talk about how you can sell more by trying or convincing less. That's right, sell more by trying less. And what that looks like. It's very counterintuitive, but it will change everything for you. And then, I'm going to walk you through a somatic exercise at the end so you can feel what this feels like, too, in case you've never actually experienced it for yourself.
Okay, so here I am in the airport with some time to kill, and I wander into the store with beauty products. I always look for beauty products when I travel. Greece has my favorite, by the way, you should check them out. They're all organic and very gentle.
While I was in there, there was this very friendly associate, and he was helping me, and he suggested I try this miracle product, right? It's this infrared light device. I agreed, so he went and got this esthetician who was going to demonstrate it for me.
Now, it turns out that the esthetician was in charge of selling me the product, too. Ask me how I know. Okay, instead of giving you the whole play-by-play, I'm just going to give you a few key examples. But I want you to be thinking, as I'm telling you about this, think about what might have been motivating those actions. Like, what was the exact thought or belief that led to each of them? Ready? Okay, this is gonna be fun.
So first, he told me that he knows everything about skin because he has a med spa on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills. And they do every kind of cosmetic enhancement procedure imaginable there. Out of all of them, this product is his very favorite.
And the only reason he's here, in a store in an airport today, is because he's training his staff. Right? Even though there was nobody listening to his demonstration, it was just him and me, but he was there training his staff. Instead of being on Rodeo Drive in his very successful med spa. Okay?
Number two, he kept showering this praise on me about how beautiful I am. And the less I reacted, it was like the harder he tried to pour on the personality.
Number three, he kept saying that this was NASA technology and would pull up a pre-loaded Google Images search on his iPad to show infrared light being used in different medical procedures. And when I asked him questions… I asked him how his product was any different than any other infrared products. Like that one that's a mask. Have you seen that? You just put this mask on, and it just glows?
Well, he just dismissively waved behind him, and he said, “Oh, yeah, we sell those things, too. But they're really awful. And this one's the best because they work with NASA.” It's like, why are you selling it if you think it's so awful? Anyway.
Number four, when it came time to talk price, he pulled up this website that showed the product with an inflated price, quadruple that of what he was selling it for. And then, he quickly closed it out so I couldn't see the website. But there’s a product, and there's a price; that’s all I see.
And number five, all of this was very choreographed. He had all the web pages pulled up already on his iPad. And he kept directing my attention back to those visuals and asking me lots of questions where the response would be yes, etc.
Okay, I don't know about you. But I was having so much fun watching his thoughts on display. But I'm curious how you feel right now. Just check-in? Are you also thinking this is so fun? Or are you feeling disgusted? Judgmental? Maybe a little defensive? Triggered, remembering an old-school sales experience that you've been involved with? Or, are you sorry for him that I'm poking fun at him in this situation? Feeling bad for him because he's just trying to sell the thing and make a living.
This is important. Because in my experience, we spend so much time and energy comparing ourselves to this type of salesperson, to this type of sales method. Some of us do everything we can to not be this person because we have such a strong visceral reaction to it. And we never want to do that to someone else or be “that kind of person.” Right?
If you think about it, is there anyone lower on the ethical totem pole than the stereotype of the used car salesman? Or, perhaps Bernie Madoff, you know, the Ponzi scheme people that are so hungry for money they'll do anything? That's very, very low on the totem pole. These are the outcasts of society. And we don't like being outcasts, right? We don't like anyone to frown upon our behavior.
So, you hold back consciously or subconsciously when it comes to selling. You avoid selling altogether. Or, you avoid being visible in your selling. Or, you dance around the selling process. Maybe you avoid including calls to action, or your language is just watered down like you're tiptoeing on eggshells.
You might be thinking that the only way to sell is to oversell, and you don't want to do it. Or that you don't even want to do any kind of selling because you don't want to be associated with salespeople at all. So, you're basically telling your people and the universe that you don't really want people to buy right now.
Listen, I have been there. I remember the first time I was doing a push to get people into my Facebook group. I wasn't even selling them anything. I was offering to give them free, valuable advice in my group. But just the ask, just posting in other Facebook groups in their promo threads, made me feel like I needed to go shower. Oh my god, that seems like eons ago, but I can still remember it.
Having come to the other side now, I am here to tell you that any energy that you are putting into avoiding that and trying not to be like that is energy you are leaking. And I guarantee it is showing up as lost revenue. Now, it's natural that you don't want to be that. But it's not productive that you're questioning that you might be that. You are not.
You might have gone a little far with something in the past. A shadow side might have taken the reins briefly. But the fact that you're concerned and course-correcting already shows that you are not that person. Stop letting those people affect your results.
Okay. Now, what do you think he was thinking and believing during all of this? What was coming up for you? To me, it can be summarized in two main core beliefs:
Number one, this is how it has to be done. This is how it has to be done, which led him to act performatively and didn't allow for any variation based on the client. You know, he didn't ask me any questions about my level of knowledge or awareness, any of my pain points, etc. He just had this script, and he was sticking to the script because someone somewhere must know better than he does. Kiss of Death.
The second belief, hear me when I say this, this is a big one. He was believing that the person in front of him will say no unless he does something about it. You hear that? We believe that the person in front of us will say no unless we do something about it instead of believing that they'll most likely say yes.
Now, let's get real. I am a white woman. And we white women age. And I've been around the sun a time or two. Plus, I have disposable income. And I've just been on vacation, and I've been pampering myself. Why not pamper myself a little more?
I am a fantastic candidate for actually saying yes to this. I'm like the ideal customer. Why not assume that? I'll say yes. It really doesn't make much sense. But inventory your thoughts right now. Because if you're noticing that you think this too, that you think most people would say no rather than say yes, then when you do try to sell, you'll probably be overselling.
And on some subconscious level, your people might be like me in Mexico. Why is he trying so hard here? Right? It feels overboard. So, something must be off. This could be the best product ever. I wouldn't know because my alert system went up, and I felt like I had to be on the defensive. Right?
When someone's saying, “This product is the best ever. You can’t afford to miss this. It's so valuable that it's usually really, really expensive. But you can get it for a quarter of the price. Aren't you lucky?” I mean, none of us talk like that. We kind of do, in different ways sometimes.
There’s all these acrobatics, even though the person literally signed up to get on a call with you, or they clicked on your ad, or they searched and found your website. Newsflash, they want to buy; they really, really want their problem solved, and they're hoping to leave with a solution.
Your product might be the best in the world like I said, but the frame through which you're offering it is obscuring the value. It's the frame which creates the result of yes or no, usually not the product. I'll say that again. It's the frame that creates the result of yes or no, usually not the product.
But what if you believed in the best of yourself and your client? It's an option, you know. There are people in this world that believe they have something uniquely valuable to offer in this world. And they believe that their people are very happy and excited to buy it.
Some of you might be nodding and saying, “Actually, I already believed that.” But just check-in. Just check in and get a little real. Do you ever move into convincing energy? Not like the airport guy, exactly. But maybe you just want to make sure they know how credentialed you are. And, “Oh, this is actually a really great price.” And that you really have to turn up your energy and be on and create this good bond. There's no shame here.
But you could probably be making more sales. Even people that know nothing about energetics are very good at picking up on your energetics. They can't describe what leads them to say no. So, they'll say, “Something just doesn't feel quite right right now. Let me think about it some more.”
When you stop overselling, when you actually try less, it creates a sense of safety and trust for your people. They can enjoy the fun of buying and create that change that they want in their life. What is more exciting than that?
There's a scene in the movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall. My husband, by the way, loves anything that Judd Apatow has ever created. So, I've seen them all. I think I've seen every Judd Apatow movie. Anyway, Paul Rudd is a surf instructor in Hawaii, and he's giving Jason Segel his first surf lesson, so they’re on the sand. Paul’s like, “No, don't think, don't try.” Every time Jason jumps up, Paul Rudd was like, “No, you're trying too hard. Stop thinking.”
Finally, Jason Segel just lays there on the surfboard, and Paul’s like, “Well, okay, try a little harder than that.” If what I'm saying right now sounds like, “Don't try. But okay, don't lay on the surfboard either,” striking the right balance, it really isn't that hard.
Once you've built up a body of beliefs about how your offer is so unique and differentiated from anything else out there. And a body of beliefs about how you and your exact chosen people are such an ideal match, like a made-in-heaven type fit. It really is that simple.
Think about it. If you really believe that, that you and your people, it's just kismet. Right? And that you have this perfect fit offer that's exactly what they've been hoping for. Then you would not be believing that they're about to say no, and you really need to convince them to say yes, right?
If you've been walking around looking for the matching glass slipper, and I have the exact matching pair, you're not going to be like, “I'm not really sure. I don't really think this is a good idea.” You'd be like, “Hallelujah! I found the glass slipper.”
Now, if you're feeling like this is an area that you really need to strengthen for yourself, and you're in the Clarity Accelerator, just go to modules four and five, where we make those very powerful decisions about who your people are, and we get to know them deeply. And then, head the module seven, where we tease out the secret sauce of your offer.
That's where you'll find what you're looking for here. Because you want to get really clear on those before moving into the Uncommon Selling of module nine. Because if you haven't cleaned up your thoughts about all this, you won't be able to get the most out of that information. No matter what you do, it will still be off for your people.
Now, we don't realize just how much our hidden beliefs get in our way, so don't skip over this part. I was just coaching a multiple six-figure earner about this while I was there at the mastermind. The way she said it was, she had difficulty overcoming objections, and she wanted to understand how I was able to convert so highly. Especially to cold traffic; to people that had not been on my list. Didn't know me. Right? They just had a conversation with me and decided to say yes.
But what that focus on objections is telling me is that she's thinking she needs to convince them during the objection phase if she wants to have more clients and stop leaving money on the table. So, she's thinking that the reason she's not making as many sales is because she doesn't know how to overcome objections.
But I didn't coach her on overcoming objections. Although, it's not that objections are a big deal, right? People have human brains. And sometimes, those brains will offer an objection, and that shouldn't make us uncomfortable. I coached her to more fully own the value of what she was offering and who her ideal people were. This is my simple system, after all; know yourself, know your people, and then connect the dots for them.
She wasn't clear on how her mission necessitates that she be discerning with the clients she brings on. And she wasn't deeply understanding her secret sauce in a way that makes it obvious that she was the premier choice for her people. Because she was spending her focus thinking about what to do if they say no, right?
She was doing everything in her power to grace the way to them saying yes. Meaning she wasn't interviewing them. She wasn’t discerning. I'll say that again: She was doing everything in her power to grace the way to them saying yes. Meaning she wasn't interviewing them at all.
If you really believed that you're here to do this specific thing. And this offer wants to move through you and is perfect for this specific type of person that you're here to connect with. In order to fulfill this purpose, in order for both of you to fulfill this purpose, then you'd make sure that this is your person, right? Because those are the people that say yes.
You're not thinking about them saying no; you’re diving deep into seeing if they're your people. With uncommon selling, we aren't trying to make them say yes. We aren’t overselling, because we know we're sitting on fucking gold. We know this coming together is like two magnets; what is meant for you will not pass you by. Okay, I have to say that one again, too: What is meant for you will not pass you by.
This was really surprising to her when I was coaching her on this. But she had never thought about interviewing her clients. She'd never even thought that it was fair for her to actually ask some questions. To push back on them a little bit about whether they were going to be committed enough or make the time, or be resourceful.
For instance, if I'm on a call with someone, and they're telling me how overwhelmed and busy they are, you can bet that at some point, I'm going to ask them how they plan to make room in their schedule for coaching, given how busy they feel, right?
So, there's never a situation where I tell someone my price, and then they say, “Well, I just don't know if I have time right now. But maybe I'll do it in a few months.” I don't get those kinds of objections. And I can relax into this because I believe so fully in my offer and my right people that I'm willing to not try.
I don't want to sell to people that are actually a no, in the greater interest of finding the people that I've already decided want what I'm offering enough to move mountains to make it happen. And since my beliefs are so strong, and they pick up on that, they feel even more safe to say yes; it’s like a virtuous cycle.
I've said this before, but conviction sells, and so does resonance. When you know you're looking for someone willing to move mountains and they know there's someone willing to move mountains, it's like there's this collective, albeit subconscious, sigh of relief. Like, “Oh, good, we found each other.”
And for those of you who don't do sales calls, I'm challenging you to see how this is relevant to you and relates to you. Is there verbiage on your site where you're plainly stating who this is not for? Are you willing to be specific about who you're calling in? Or are you trying to cast the biggest, broadest net? I see you. I've seen it all.
I can take one look at a person's website and know, not to creep you out or anything, but I'm very attuned to this. I think it's one of the superpowers I developed growing up as a military kid. We were moving all the time, so I had to learn to read people very quickly and pick up on their interests and motivations. I couldn't always rely on the norms of body language because I was moving to cultures where the norms didn't always apply, right? So, I had to learn to read what was going on behind the facade.
And what we present, either in person or on our website, is a type of facade. It's the way we're choosing to present ourselves, and it always reflects our internal world.
Okay, before we close, I want to take you through an exercise. You’re probably used to a slightly or highly activated nervous system when it comes to selling. And when I give you a different experience, I want you to feel this deeply in your body so we can start rewriting that programming.
If possible, just sit down for a minute with your eyes closed or lay down. If you can't, that's okay. But it will really help this sink in in a different way if you can. So if you are driving right now, or whatever's going on, you might want to revisit this later, again, okay? And again. And again. And again. It never hurts to feel, and feel, and feel our way into what we want to create.
Okay, take a few deep breaths. And with each exhale, imagine that your breath is blowing the autumn leaves off of a small tree. Imagine those leaves just floating to the ground. Each exhale is helping those leaves just fall to the ground and come to deep rest. Good.
When all the leaves are on the ground, imagine now you're turning your vision to a future place in time. It's you going about your business as your future self. You're feeling into how your body feels, and you feel power radiating, pulsing through your body. As you tune into it, you know the deep confidence and conviction that you feel about yourself, about your offer, your people, and your work in the world.
And now, you notice that you're in a large room filled with people. There are so many people, but you don't blend in. Your energy, it's like it taps people on the shoulder, and they just turn to look. They can't help but be pulled towards you.
You're moving slowly through the crowd, meeting people, smiling warmly, and stopping to talk briefly. Each time you do, you're just searching. Is there that clique of resonance? If not, you part friends, and you move on. It's a very big room, after all.
And then, at some point, you meet someone, and you end up speaking to her longer. This conversation is becoming more and more interesting. You're speaking clearly, concisely, and very calmly. You don't have to be anyone you're not. She doesn't have to be anyone she's not. There's deep resonance here. You two just know. You decide to join forces. You know that you are two powerful people who, together, can do something amazing. It feels right. It feels safe.
You’ve felt that before. Ask your body to show you exactly what that feels like. Yes, imagine feeling that safety, even with showing up as your fullest, most powerful, most extraordinary self. Yes, even then you feel very, very, very safe.
Okay, my friends, feel free to stay here in this grounded, powerful energy for as long as you'd like. This is where you belong.
Thank you so much for joining me here today. And I wish you so much success in the coming week. And remember, friends, you know who you are. You know who you are. And each day, you're stepping further into what you are here to create.
Hey, if you're a coach who wants true clarity about your secret sauce, your people, your best way of doing business, and how you talk about your offer, then I invite you to join us in the Clarity Accelerator. I'll teach you to connect all the dots, the dots that have always been there for you so that you can show up like you were born for exactly this. Come join us and supercharge every other tool or tactic you'll ever learn, from Facebook ads to manifestation.
Just go to TheUncommonWay.com/schedule and set up a time to talk. I can't wait to be your coach.
Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity First Strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.
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Ep #30: Creating Exponential Change in Your Business with Ale Garnica
Returning guest Ale Garnica is a true representation of how quickly things can happen once you truly believe they can change. You can create exponential change in your business simply because you decided to. It may not happen overnight, but once you begin the process and experience the shift that comes with it, the change and subsequent results will come even more quickly.
Episode Summary
Ale Garnica is back this week to show you how to start creating exponential change in your business.
Join us in the Clarity Accelerator by scheduling a call here.
Enjoy the show? Leave a review to help other likeminded entrepreneurs gain clarity in their businesses.
If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.
Show Notes
Do you ever feel like the changes you want to make in your business aren’t possible for you? Do you feel that no matter what you do, it’s going to take too long, or you are the way you are and that won’t change, that the way things are now is the way they’ll always be? Well, this week’s guest may just be what you need to shake that perspective.
Returning guest Ale Garnica is a true representation of how quickly things can happen once you truly believe they can change. You can create exponential change in your business simply because you decided to. It may not happen overnight, but once you begin the process and experience the shift that comes with it, the change and subsequent results will come even more quickly.
Join us this week as we discuss the importance of trusting and listening to your intuition and how to start seeing your own strengths. Hear how Ale went from not being able to get clients to being nearly fully booked in just a few months, and the importance of having an abundant mindset versus a scarcity mindset.
What You’ll Learn From This Episode:
The mindset shifts Ale made in her business that led to exponential growth.
How Ale’s beliefs around signing clients have changed and why it is now easier and faster for her.
How I gave Ale a different perspective on her business and how this opened up a window to possibility.
Why Ale was discounting clients in her business.
The benefits of working with a coach and how it can lead to faster results.
How self-compassion can help remove your inner critic.
The changes Ale decided to make to start getting more clients.
Listen to the Full Episode:
Featured on the Show:
If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.
Click here to sign up for my newsletter and find out how the Connect The Dots Method has helped clients in all stages of their business.
Follow me on Instagram for behind-the-scenes content and daily value bombs!
Full Episode Transcript:
Each day, you're not just getting a step closer to your result; you’re getting several steps closer to your result. I believe so strongly in the idea of exponential change. And I am bringing on a client to share her perspective about this firsthand with you, as well. So, if you've been noticing the thought, “This is taking so long. This is just the way I am,” you will definitely want to listen to this episode.
You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top-ranked business coach, and reformed over-analyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.
Hey, everyone. Welcome back to The Uncommon Way. How are you? I'm so glad you're here. Do you remember a while back, we did this series where I had some clients come in, and they were sharing firsthand with you so that you could start adopting some of their thoughts and ways of thinking?
We're actually recording this episode at that time. But I decided because of the fact that I was getting so many people telling me, “Hey, that episode was really helpful. It really landed with me in a great way when I heard it from that person,” I decided that it would be fun to maybe bring someone on once a month or once every six weeks.
And so, just at that point, something happened in my client, Ale’s, business and mind, and I really wanted to capture it in real time. So, I was like, “Ale, come on. Hop on the podcast with me again. I know you were on recently, but we'll release it in a month or so.”
You can tell I'm pretty jazzed about this topic. I’m really excited that she agreed to come on. Because this is something that I can see so clearly as a coach, but when you are in it, you can't. And what I notice in my client, and what I've noticed in myself, is that as I stick with something, the change gets faster and faster and faster. Now, that's not necessarily what it feels like in real time, unfortunately.
I had a coach that used to tell me, “Jen, it's like when you're boiling water. You apply the heat, and at first, you don't see the boil. And so, your brain goes to, ‘It's not boiling yet,’ right? Why isn't it working?” But actually, if we could chart this, if we can chart the rise in heat on a graph, we would see that, in fact, it is absolutely moving forward. And we would see that we were absolutely on the way to the goal, that something is happening.
The ease with which your brain can shift, and the time it takes for you to have a shift in your brain is so much shorter after you've been doing this work for a while. And that leads to such exponential results. Because one week of a shift here, three days of a shift there, it just starts compounding and building, building, building.
But I don't want you to hear about it theoretically from me, right now. I want you to hear it firsthand, from a woman who a year and a half ago, was just starting her business. And now is a booked-out coach. So, let's go ahead and bring her on.
Jenna Harrison: Hi, Ale. Welcome back on the podcast.
Ale Garnica: Thank you, Jenna, for having me. I'm happy to be back.
Jenna: So, you all, we have been talking about something that was going on recently for Ale and her business. And I just wanted to have her back on. And just to set the stage, we don't really have a script for what we're going to talk about. We just knew that we had to share it because someone else needs to hear it. So, we're just going to kind of fumble our way through and go back and forth and try and figure things out in real-time as we're talking, and we hope you enjoy it.
If you wouldn't mind, Ale, let's talk about the month of December. That really sets the stage for how we're going to talk about exponential growth and acceleration in your business, and how quickly your mind can start changing. So, what was going on in early December?
Ale: I was kind of worried because I had set the goal to create three clients by the end of the year. I was focusing on one client per month, but it was December, and I was still not creating those three clients. And I was not having any consults either. So, I was worried that this was going to happen. We were talking about this, and I was really very focused on if I should really push to get those three clients. Kind of questioning how I wanted to close the year.
And while I was sharing this with you, I remember that you mentioned, “Hey, I mean, a client is a client. So, you can create a client by selling a small offer, as well. And there you have your client.” That was a very different perspective that you brought for me. And I was like, “Oh, really? That's true.”
That kind of opened up a window to possibility; yeah, I mean, it's true, and I can achieve my goal and create those three clients. I never specifically said that it was going to be my six-month target clients. Although I was thinking about it, I didn't specifically write it down. So, I was open to that possibility. But I do remember that even when you put it out there, I was still in a very scarce mindset.
Jenna: Yeah. Just to give everyone the behind-the-scenes of what the coach was thinking. Now, you've all probably listened to Ale’s first podcast on the show. But even then, we were talking about how you believed that a money mindset was getting in your way. And I knew that you wanted to really dive into that, which I completely respect.
But I also knew that if we didn't clear up your thoughts about how hard it is to create clients, if we didn't get you into the place where you're like, “Oh, it's easy to create clients. Now, let's work on what I charge them. Now, let's work on the money,” then those two issues were going to become clouded. And it would be hard to pick them apart and separate them.
So, my focus really wasn't necessarily on you creating three clients, although, of course, I want you to hit your goals and completely support you in that. But I really wanted you to develop the belief that it was easy for you to create clients.
Ale: It was very needed because I remember telling you, “I just think that what's getting in my way is that I think is very hard to create one single client.” I remember that now. Yes.
Jenna: So then, share how you decided to move forward. Or, what you decided to do to create the clients.
Ale: It was probably just two weeks before Christmas, if I remember right. And I just came back from a break. So, I was kind of energized. I was in the mood to do and push a little bit to get the clients. I remember when you said that it could be a small offer or something, we were kind of brainstorming.
And this idea came up for me to do offers for several days. I think it was 20 days before Christmas. I think that's how it was. And then, we end the call, and I just went on with my day. While I was thinking about it, I was like, I think 20 days is not the number for me. So, I might do one week. Something that I think is my intuition told me just do one week, one week is good. So, I started to work on those small offers. That was the plan to do small offers for one week.
Jenna: I remember the first idea was 12 Days of Christmas, right? Yes. And I was like, why don't you just throw out a fun, and fun is a big theme for you, right? So, we wanted to keep it really light and fun. I'm like, why don't you just do a different offer each day and really surprise people? Help get your audience used to thinking of you as someone that can offer all these different things. And that definitely charges for her services, right? And has all these different ways that she can help people.
Ale: Mm-hmm. I'm really glad that you brought that up. Because when you did, that was the “why” that really gave me the motivation to do it. Because it was scary. I was like, making an offer every day for 12 days? But when you told me, “You're just getting your audience warmed up,” I remember those were the terms you used, and I was like, “I like that.” That was the motivation behind the action. And I was scared, but I planned the offers.
I remember that after the call, that same day, it took me 10 minutes to write down the offers. And I said, “This is what I'm going to sell.” And then, one of the offers required me to create some content; I created the content right away. So, it was like I needed that call and that “why”, for me to get into that place and move into action.
But when it was a moment for me to start the offers, that's when I started to freak out a little bit. But I did it anyways. It was scary because it's not something I'm used to doing. I am used to making offers on Instagram, but not with the price. So, for some reason, even when it was a small offer, a small price, it was scary for me. But I still did it, anyway.
Jenna: Yeah, and that is so important for anybody listening. If you do feel so attached to a goal… Because Ale really wanted to hit this goal. If you do feel so attached, then give your brain a really powerful “why” that is not that goal. That makes so much sense. So, you really can focus on that other thing. I've found it so, so helpful for myself.
And I know also, I had encouraged you to not just do lower priced offers. To even do some anchor offers that would be much higher than you normally would charge, just to allow your audience to see you in different ways than they had already. So, did you end up doing that? I never heard.
Ale: I didn't do one that was bigger than what I normally charge, but I did small and big amounts. I really cannot tell which one was scarier. I think all of them were scary. Scary for me. The price really didn't matter; just me making the offer and saying the price was scary, was uncomfortable.
But one offer after the other, I was feeling way more comfortable when saying it, when voicing it out. So that, on its own, was like a huge change for me, a huge shift. That it doesn't matter if I got clients or not. Just that change was worth every single minute that I spent on making those offers because I saw myself different. And I now see myself making offers in a more comfortable way.
Jenna: So good, so good. To reflect back to you now, Ale, I can see that you have trained that way of thinking into you. And it comes so naturally now to say, “Even that was worth it.” That is such a powerful group of thoughts, where you make your brain find the way that it was worth it. So, it does inspire you to keep going forward and to keep seeing things as a win. And to just always be winning; always, always, always, be winning.
Ale: Mm-hmm. That's so true. I am amazed on how much I have… My default now is to see those, what I used to call the small wins, as big wins. And it's something I learned with you. You were constantly pointing out those things. Like, “Yes, but see how much you've grown here?” And then I was like, “All right, yeah.” My tendency was to attach to the result and not seeing the changes I was creating for myself. But now that's my default.
And the beauty is that I also get to see that with my clients. I am transferring that with my clients, and I point at those wins. “Even when you didn't achieve the result, look at how much you have changed.” And that's really golden.
Jenna: Right? Because that is how you achieve the result, it’s through the chase. Yeah. And you don't always know how long it'll take or how many tries it'll take, but you know that you are so much further ahead than you were. So, so good.
Okay, so you decided to do this. Can you just talk briefly… Because I'm sure, a lot of people will resonate with this. You know, it's the end of the year. Maybe I should just pat myself on the back for what I did this year, and start again in January. Can you talk through your decision and your thoughts around, you used the words “push yourself,” but decided to go forward with this?
Ale: Yeah, I was in that place, before Thanksgiving, where I was thinking, “Okay, now December is coming. And I think it's time for me to shut down the business, no?” But I know that's something I'd been doing the past two years, even before I started working with you. And I wanted this to be different because I wanted to come into the new year with a different energy.
I remember that in the past years, I didn't do much during December. And then, in January, I would start over. My mind was in a different place. So, I wanted to get into January with a completely different energy and mindset.
After the Thanksgiving break, of course, I had a lot of rest, which is what I need as a projector. And when I came back, I was recharged. I felt that I wanted to do something so I could kind of water the seed for 2023. And I still didn't know exactly what it was. But when we were talking, and you brought that up, “A client is a client,” that really helped me get into a complete different level and make it happen. Yeah,
Jenna: I love that. And I love that you can enter 2023 with this energy of, “Ah, I rocked that!” That’s amazing. Go, Ale. I heard that as we've been talking back and forth, that's coming through, which is so amazing. I do want to also point out that, for some people, what you did would have been a really big stretch in terms of the doing-ness of it.
But you're actually very proficient with putting out reels on Instagram and stories on Instagram. So, I don't think that was the stretch. I really think it was the comfort stretch of saying the words with the price, that you mentioned before. And really, “selling” for the whole week.
Ale: Yeah, right. Yeah, definitely. Yes. Creating the reel wasn't the problem. Just putting myself out there in a video wasn't a problem. It was just saying, “This is the offer. This is the price. Reach out to me.”
Jenna: Yes. So, we just want to honor that that is a stretch. Just doing something new and stretching yourself is a stretch. And also, the fact that you are so comfortable now with video and reels, is not where you were a year ago. You've brought yourself to that point, too. All the work, this is just a reflection of all the work that you've done yourself.
Ale: And a lot has to do with you helping me see that I wasn't really having that much fun when doing it. I know I am enjoying it now much more because of how much fun I am having, or how much fun I'm injecting in every content that I create.
I was actually listening to your podcast about social media and the thoughts about social media. And I definitely thought, “Okay, I think my mindset about social media has changed so much. I had no idea that now I enjoy it tremendously. So, I've really seen a big change, a big shift on that.
Jenna: So, so, so good. Okay, so let's talk about how the week progressed. Give us the day-by-day, and what your thoughts were about each of those things.
Ale: So, the first time I did it, I was very motivated. I think the first day, I was very motivated; it wasn't that much of a problem. And it was a small price offer. It was actually the one that excited me the most. And that's actually the one that got me three clients.
So, I put myself out there. I mentioned the offer, and I created a link for them to pay. And I just completely, not completely forgot about it, but that was it. So, the first one felt okay.
But the next day, when I was about to record the second one, I wasn't feeling it. I was like, “What's going on? I know what I'm going to say.” But I just, even when I love putting myself out there through video, I was just not feeling it. So, I recorded it anyway, but my energy wasn't there 100%. Because I started to think, “Okay, I'm going to make another offer. People have listened to an offer yesterday,” you know, all these thoughts in the brain.
Jenna: Can I just ask you a question, though? What's the shift in energy? Because of the thoughts you were having about the fact that a couple of those offers, people that were close friends or family, and you were discounting that. Saying, “Out of all the people that follow me on Instagram, those were the people that came through, so it didn't really count.”
Ale: Definitely.
Jenna: Okay. I think that's what contributed to the energy the next day being solo.
Ale: Oh, yes. Yeah. Because from those three clients to work… Well, there were actually four. So, two were my family. And two were people from work. So, I was like, “None of them count.” And yes, that definitely affected the energy when I was showing up the next day.
And I carried that energy until we talked. Actually, I was still scared. And I was thinking about that. So, it didn't feel as fun. And it started, the way I saw it, is that it was accumulating; it was like a compound effect. So, by Thursday, I was like, “I want the week to be over.” And that's when we talked.
Jenna: I think I messaged you, and I said, “Can you hop on an extra call? We just need to get on a call right now.”
Ale: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, “Oh, thank you.” Yes. So, Friday was the day for my last offer. And we had the call before I created the video. That call was amazing. I mean, my energy was in a completely different place. I'm not going to go through the details of the call. But the mindset that I got in the call, created the feeling of trust. But it was like a very deep sense of trust.
Jenna: I mean, this was not a traditional thought work coaching call.
Ale: No, it was something special. It was definitely what I needed for me to create the video, the last offer, the last video offer. So, after we finished the call, I created the video. And I said, “Okay, I'm going to post it later.” I went to my acupuncturist session. And my mind was like, “After the session, I'm going to post the video.”
But while I was getting back home, I was thinking about it, and my intuition was telling me, “Wait. Wait, don't do it today.” And I was like, “I mean, it's the last day of the offer, and I have to do it. You know, it’s a week.” So, rationally, I wanted to do it because that was really my goal; make offers for the whole week. But my intuition was telling me to wait. So, I said, “Okay, I'm practicing to listen to my intuition. So, I'm going to wait.” And I did.
On Monday, I decided to post the video. I remember very, very well, I was with my mom. And I said, “Just give me a few minutes. I'm going to post this video because it's an offer I need to make.” I posted it, and I just left it there. I was still feeling this deep sense of trust, and I just left it out there.
I checked my Instagram account later, and I started to see that it was doing very well; it had a lot of views. I had comments, and people reached out asking for what I was offering, which was like, oh, what's going on? This was through Instagram only. I'm going to pause there, and then we can continue with the story in case you want to add something.
Jenna: Okay, so good. No, the only observation there, is that the two days that you were in your true best energy, were both phenomenal for you. Should we talk about how, at this point, though, were we talking already then about discounting those clients? Well, so I think you'd already mentioned that you were having a lot of thoughts in the beginning about how maybe those clients didn't count. Because they were people that you knew in the past.
And also, maybe they were small offers, and it was all coming back. Right? It was all coming back. Because here we go towards the end of the year, we're getting really close to the goal, and what does this all mean? And so, I know that we were working on that thought, and it was still difficult for you.
I remember the way you were talking about it was like, “Oh, here I go again; this is how I am. That my brain, my inner critic, steps up, and it's hard for me to celebrate my wins.” Because we really wanted you to close out this year really excited about your wins. And, of course, I saw it as you had just created clients more easily than you've ever had in your life. And you absolutely hit your goals. But there was still an inner critic who was talking in your head.
Ale: Yeah. I almost saw it like, okay, well, this is my inner critic, and I can't continue to do this. “Yes, yes, I hear what you're saying, Jenna. But my brain is still telling me that they don't count.” I still remember that. I left that call thinking, “Yes, but I'm still discounting those clients. They’re not my clients.” I remained stubborn.
Jenna: I remember there were a couple of Voxer messages too, where you're like, “Well, I'm trying to see this as a win.” There was something in there where you were… But you were doing the work. Because this is something we have to point out. You've been with me for a long time now, and you have done the work. So, the difficult work; when your brain doesn't want to come on board, and you have to claw your way to the evidence.
And you have to keep catching your brain in that moment, and bringing it back to the thought you do want to be thinking. You had done all of that type of work before. And so, I think there was this idea that you would have to do all of that again. And that's exactly why I really wanted to have you on the podcast to talk about what happened instead. So, I'll let you pick it up from there.
Ale: Okay. So, I remember that in a Voxer message, I said something, and you replied saying, “You realize that you're still discounting those clients?” And I was like, “Oh, yes. I really want to see them as clients. I really do.” I journaled about it, as well. But mainly, it was just the default.
The Christmas holidays came, and then after that, I just didn't think about it anymore. I put it aside. I wasn't worrying too much about it. And then in January, when I came back, there was a moment when I… I was working, and I got a message from someone that said, “Hey, I saw an offer that you did last year. I know it's a little bit late, but I'm interested. Would you share more about it?”
So, I replied, and I explained. And then I said, “If you're interested, here's the link to pay.” And this was one of the higher-priced offers. And probably three minutes later, I got a message saying, “I already paid. Let's move on.” And I was like, “Yeah, I created a client.” And those words came out of my mind; I celebrated. I didn't realize at that moment, it probably was like two hours later when I was like, “I saw her as a client.”
Even when I wanted to discount the clients because they were either family, or they were co-workers, or because they were the small offers. But here is a person that is also a small offer. And it wasn't the smallest, but it was a small offer. And by default, now my brain saw her as a client. Those were the exact words.
And I was so happy about it that I sent you a message, “Yeah, Jenna. Guess what?” It was a huge win for me that I saw her as a client. I remember very well that you offered something that was mind-blowing, and you said, “This is your brain...” You will say it with the exact words, but, “Your brain is now relying on you taking the lead for this.” And I was like, “Oh my God, that feels so good. Yes, I want that.”
Jenna: Let me see if I can find the message. Because okay, this is what I said. I said, “Look how your brain can shift in just a couple of weeks when you put your intention behind it. This is huge, Ale. It really shows that your brain has started to trust your lead.” That's what it was. “This will make it so much easier to shift patterns going forward.” Yeah, trusting your lead.
Ale: Mm-hmm. Yeah. And what I realized later is that this is something that we have talked about before, Jenna. And you know me so well, you know my brain so well, that even when we've talked about it before, I think I wasn't ready to listen to that, and really understand it and absorb it.
But when you said it in that moment, I think because I was experiencing what that was, the brain trusting my lead, I understood it 100%. It synced in, and I was like, “Yes, this is what's happening.” And this is now my new me. This is my default now. That was amazing.
Jenna: You can't ever unsee that lived experience of your brain literally changing the way you wanted it to change, just because you said, “Brain, we're going to start thinking this way.” It didn't happen overnight, but it happened so much more quickly than it did a year or year and a half ago.
Ale: Yeah, exactly. I think I was ready because I needed to work on so many other things before getting to that place where I finally absorbed it.
Jenna: Yes. And so, this is why I really wanted you to come on. Just for anybody who's feeling that bit of themselves that’s saying, “This is just how I am,” right? “This is just my inner critic. This is the way it will always be.” And it does feel so difficult as you're building belief and trying to believe or trying to create any change in your normal patterning. Right? Mine is overwork; it’s my thing. That’s always been the kind of Achilles heel for me.
I think it's so wonderful to just hold out this lifeline to anyone in there and say, “It gets faster and faster and faster.” It is amazing how once… And I don't know; we can kind of dissect this, what the actual shift is that occurs. But there's a point where your brain acquiesces. The more stubborn part of your brain acquiesces to your inner visionary and starts to support that initiative more and more quickly.
So, I don't know exactly what was going on for you. Is it that you had done so much work that your brain realized that you weren't going to back down? You're going to keep at it, so it decided to come on board? Or, is it, do you think, more of a nervous system settling and trust that allowed that?
Ale: I think it was more the nervous system trusting. Because I've seen this happening in all my life. In other areas of my life, not only business. But I feel like I can just bring into awareness what I don't like, what I want to change, then I kind of work around it. I do some work on it. And then, I put it aside. Later, almost magically, it shifts. I think it has a lot to do with the nervous system getting used to this new me. Yeah.
Jenna: And we know, especially for you who really did have such a strong inner critic, that in an earlier version of you, a year and a half ago... And as we all begin our personal development journeys… And, of course, you were certified coach, and you've done so much training. And still, that inner critic is so strong.
There's a different relationship in terms of the authority in your brain; that inner critic used to have a lot of authority. And now, it just doesn't. It's not that you ignore it, but it doesn't have that same level of authority, and a different part of you has taken the lead.
Ale: Definitely. It has been a constant work that I've done. Because also, part of my self-concept was that my inner critic was probably stronger than me. That's how I saw it, in a way. But now that has changed. I do a lot of self-compassion work. And I think that this self-compassion is what helps take the power away from that inner critic.
I've seen a complete change because of that. Because of the coaching I've been doing with you, as well. Really allowing myself to rest, to have fun, and go against all the norms that I created for myself. Do it in the uncommon way. That definitely has taken away the power from the inner critic, who is always telling me what I should do or what I shouldn't do.
Jenna: So, let's just finish out the story then, of what the universe opened up for you after all of this growth and learning. What happened?
Ale: What happened was that during Christmas, and I'm going back and forth in time, but this was before this client asked for this mini offer. But during Christmas, after I created this video that I posted on Monday instead of Friday…
Jenna: The one that kind of went viral.
Ale: Yes, yes. I saw these messages from people on Instagram, but it was just questions. But then, like, a week later, I decided to go into Facebook. I completely forgot that I posted the same reel on Facebook, as well. So, I decided to go into Facebook and just look at what everybody was doing for Christmas.
And I saw that I had probably eight messages from people saying, “Hey, I want this. I want this.” And I was like, what's going on? From that, I created four consults from discovery calls, for January. So, the new year came, and I had those consults. And from those consoles, I signed two clients.
But at the same time, while all this was happening, another person reached out to me saying, “Hey, I would like to work with you. How can we work together?” So, it was three clients that finally happened. It all happened in January; it didn't happen in December as I wanted. But at the end, really, this is what the universe is telling me, “Hey, yes, I got you. But it's going to be whenever you're ready.” That's how I interpreted it.
I think I was ready in January, because of all the work I did in December through that offer week. And it was the change of concept, the change of mindset, that got me those three clients. It was amazing to see that it just happened all in a very short time. But it happened because I was ready. I was in the right energy and the right mindset.
Jenna: Yes. I think in the end, that's probably what, seven or eight clients created from a few days of offers, that you just kind of threw out in a fun way?
Ale: Yeah, definitely.
Jenna: Which is so fantastic. And also, just to notice, another theme I know we were talking about was gratitude. And that when we do discount these things, and we all would tend to do that, right? Oh, it doesn't count because it was not a cold person, right? Or, it was the person was too warm, or it was too easy. It was a referral, or whatever we want to say to discount it.
I always think about what if you gave a gift to someone, and they're like, “Well, it's okay, but it's not really what I wanted.” Right? And then, how the universe feels when it lines these things up for us and connects us with these amazing people. And then, we're like, “Yeah, but not quite good enough. Can you try again?”
Ale: Yeah, yeah.
Jenna: Shifting that energy is so, so important for then calling in more. Because if you're always in the energy of ‘it's not quite good enough. It's not enough.’ You keep producing not enough.
Ale: I call it the abundance mindset and the scarcity mindset. I was still in the scarcity mindset when I wanted to discount those clients. You wanted me to see how abundant I was, but I was like, “No, no, no. I don’t have this. I don’t have that. It's not enough.”
But when I finally shifted into the abundance, then, “Okay, you have an abundant mindset. Here's more.” That's how the universe works. I see that happening over and over in many areas in my life. Once I really get to connect with gratitude, as you said, with the abundance, then more comes; it’s just opening that channel. Mm-hmm.
Jenna: And it's so interesting to see how you also… Of course, the whole theme of this podcast is how things start to accelerate for us, right? To create seven or eight clients in a week is… I mean, even a month or two ago would have seemed so different. And now, it's not anymore, right? You have that lived experience of it.
But also, this idea of exponential growth. We build upon everything, and so it's hard for us to predict just a couple of months, to game out a couple of months in advance, where our minds will be and what we'll be able to do in that future place. Because it's so much change, and the change just gets quicker and quicker and quicker.
When I started entrepreneurship, and we hear so much language around this, about how there's all this learning going on at the beginning. And then after that, I'm kind of going to get there, and it's going to be this steady, incline. But a fairly logical, slow incline, right?
But actually, how it works, is that there's this warming-up period, and then all of a sudden, boom, things start taking off. And then you're looking at all of a sudden doubling your income, or doubling that month, or bringing in seven clients in a week. Are you feeling that as well? Because you're definitely there.
Ale: Yes, I have been feeling it. You actually pointed it out because we were reflecting on the number of clients I have. And I remember that I said that I've signed two clients in a month. But now, I signed two clients in one week. And that's when you said this is exponential growth. Now, what you are creating, is because of where your brain is. And I was like, oh, okay, I see.
So definitely, my beliefs have changed around creating clients, around creating consults. And I see, that because of that, I create consults easier, and I sign clients easier, as well. I see things happening faster, definitely. I never thought I was going to be where I am, a year and a half ago. Never. It was so hard for me to just think about it.
Jenna: Yeah, absolutely. I just really want to have a complete straight talk with some of you out there, that tend to maybe work with a coach for three months or whatever the package is. And then, you kind of have this idea that “Okay, I've basically learned what she's putting out there. How the coach sees the world. And I've learned the major lessons. And now I'm going to move on to another coach.”
Or, “I'm going to do it myself for a while because I worked with that coach once, and I learned what she needed to tell me, and then I'm good. I'll go try it for a while.”
And that is, so unfortunately, counterproductive for you. It's just such a way that we get in our own way, that we hold ourselves back. Because as your coach knows you better and better, and as you can hear the teachings again and again, in new ways. And by the way, your coach is always growing at the same time, too.
So, it's not like what they're sharing with you a year ago is what they'll be sharing a year from now. And that coach is further ahead so they're growing exponentially. So, they're always moving ahead and bringing you with them.
And the problem is, that then you don't get the benefits of all of that work in the beginning that you two do as a couple; to get to know each other, to build the trust, for the coach to really see how your brain works, and where it's going.
Ale, I think I've mentioned to you before, if you had said to me on that Friday, “I'm going to hold back on publishing this reel until Monday,” there would have not even been a flicker in my mind that maybe you should do it on Friday. And it's not because I would do that for everyone. There are so many people that I would have been like, “oh, whoa, whoa, hold on.”
But I know you so well. And I know all that you've gone through to get to the point where you can now even think about trusting your intuition or even listening to your intuition in that way. And I will always know that that is a place where I just want to celebrate you 100%. Versus other times where I know this is worth questioning or worth bringing to your attention. And you just can't get that, in that way, in three months with somebody.
Ale: No, no. Because you know my brain so well. I also trust you so much0 because of this relationship that we have created. I've been working with you for almost a year and a half. And I know that sometimes I even say a few words, and you're already… It's like you're reading my mind. You can catch my brain, how sneaky my brain is, very quickly.
As a coach, I also understand it because I know that it takes a period of time for me to get used to my new client’s brain, in order for me to be spot-on with the coaching. Seeing it as a coach, I also value working with a coach for a long period of time, because I know that the more we get to interact, the more you will know my brain. And the easier and the more on point is going to be the coaching you offer to me.
And also see what works and what doesn't work. Not everything works for everybody, as you said. You know what I'm working on very well, so you're going to point at the things aligned with what you know I'm working on. I don't know if that makes sense. It's definitely something I also recommend a lot. I consider myself very loyal to what I do, and if something works for me, I stay there. Until I know, okay, it's enough.
But I also recommend very highly to work with a coach for a long period of time. It makes a huge difference, and the results become faster and faster as well with your own coach. I've seen that with you, the tools that you have integrated in the coaching, like human design. That is so precious for me, it has changed my life that you use that in our coaching sessions. I'm going to be forever grateful for that, Jenna, because I see myself in a completely different way. And you coach me with that. I love it because I believe in it so much. That when you coach me with that, I'm like, “Yes, you're right.”
Jenna: And that is a tool I did not have a year and a half ago when we started working together.
Ale: Exactly, right. So, what you said about your coach is growing and bringing you to the style changes… I've also seen how your style in coaching has changed. And I love it. And I'm learning from you all the time, by seeing you. I admire how much you have grown. And that is inspiration for me, as well. So, you are kind of showing me what is possible. And I'm putting my eyes on that, and my mind on that, as well.
Jenna: That is another thing. That's a good point as well, that I have such a clear vision of you. Actually, in my human design, I have something called the Midas Touch, which is that things that I touched turned to gold. But it's really about me being able to see the gold within somebody. Right?
And so, for instance, when Kerry was on the podcast recently, and we were talking about how I knew very, very early on, that she was going to be doing things other than home organizing. And I could see it so clearly play out. And see all of you in your strengths, 100%.
And so, I love that I can keep that vision for both of us. Right? And so, when you say something to me like, “It's going to take so long,” I can laugh, but then I can remind you about, “Do you remember, a year ago or something when you were saying that? Do you remember six months…” And that helps us because our brain will always have us in our own frame of reference. And it really takes that objectivity. And it's so helpful when someone has not just objectivity, but longevity to be able to say, “Yeah, but do you see how this thing your brain’s doing right now is actually like that same theme in a completely different realm that was happening before? And that shows that it's a practiced thought or a practiced way of thinking.” And it's not; it’s not the way things are.
Ale: Hmm, yeah. And I remember very well that one day you told me, “I just know that for you, things are going to change.” Like, I don't know, this is not these were not your exact words. But that's how I remember. Like, suddenly, you're going to grow, zoom, from one day to the other. And I was like, yeah, yeah, right. And now, I’m just one client away from being fully booked, which is amazing.
Jenna: Can we all just celebrate that? I just felt that collapsing of time right now. As if everyone was listening to us in real time, and I felt this swell of emotion through everyone in the podcast, all the listeners. With their full hearts celebrating that for you. Such a beautiful place to be.
Ale: Yeah, it is. It feels unreal, almost. But yeah, it is. It is a beautiful place to be. So good.
Jenna: Ale, thank you for coming on the podcast and being such a representative of how quickly things can start to happen. And how so much accelerates. And how things really do become exponential. To give so many people hope and just proof that this is their future, as well.
Ale: Mm-hmm. Thank you very much for having me, Jenna. And I just want to say something. Really, I just listened to a quote that said something around, ‘if you work on yourself, you don't compare yourself. Because if you really love yourself, you don't compare yourself with others. Because the love exists there.”
And I think for everybody, that's really one of the biggest works that I've done on myself. To really nurture that love towards myself, that compassion, that patience. And that has stopped me from comparing with others or thinking that I am behind, and really focus on my lane. So just be patient because you are going to get there. I know you're going to get there because I got there.
Jenna: Yes, hallelujah. So good. Okay, thank you so much, Ale.
Ale: Thank you.
Hey, if you're someone who wants true clarity about your secret sauce, your people, your best way of doing business, and how you talk about your offer, then I invite you to join us in the Clarity Accelerator. I'll teach you to connect all the dots, the dots that have always been there for you so that you can show up like you were born for exactly this. Come join us and supercharge every other tool or tactic you'll ever learn, from Facebook ads to manifestation. Just go to TheUncommonWay.com/schedule and set up a time to talk. I can't wait to be your coach.
Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity First Strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.
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Ep #29: Uncommon Perspective: Longevity
Today’s episode is a little different than usual, as rather than teaching you how to think, I talk about my own thoughts. I share how I think. It can be so powerful to get inside someone else’s brain, and the idea of expanding our minds is so fun for me. So this week, I’m making it fun for you too, and we’re diving deeper into the topic of longevity.
Episode Summary
Jenna shares her thoughts on aging and longevity and the science behind it that could radically transform your world.
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Show Notes
What if everything you’ve been thinking about the stage of life you currently find yourself in was totally wrong? What if your thoughts about how much longer you have to work, live, and be with your children and loved ones were also wrong? How would things be different for you?
Today’s episode is a little different than usual, as rather than teaching you how to think, I talk about my own thoughts. I share how I think. It can be so powerful to get inside someone else’s brain, and the idea of expanding our minds is so fun for me. So this week, I’m making it fun for you too, and we’re diving deeper into the topic of longevity.
Our longevity is dramatically increasing; the science is there to prove it. This week, hear my thoughts about aging, the science that makes these questions ones we should consider, and what these questions mean for the population of the world. I share a stance on longevity that could radically transform your world and I also share how what I teach you today can have a positive impact on your life right now.
What You’ll Learn From This Episode:
How to start thinking differently about aging and longevity.
Why I truly believe that age is just a number.
How my ideas of longevity have started to radically transform.
Why the way we have traditionally thought about aging is changing.
Three times in my life I noticed I was ahead of the curve.
Listen to the Full Episode:
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Reshaping Evolution (Crispr Podcast Episode) - Ted Talk
Scientists Have Reached a Key Milestone in Learning How to Reverse Aging - Time article
Counterclockwise: Mindful Health and the Power of Possibility by Ellen J. Langer
Full Episode Transcript:
What if everything you've been thinking about the stage that you find yourself in life was totally wrong? All of your thoughts about how much longer you have to work, how much longer you have to live, how much longer you'll be with your children and loved ones, what if it was wrong? What if you're actually going to live twice as long as you expect? What if you're going to live forever? How would you act differently? What would you be doing? How would your life be different? Today, we're going to talk about that. But we're also going to talk about the science that I believe makes those questions ones that we should be considering.
You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top-ranked business coach, and reformed over-analyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.
Hey, everyone. Welcome back to The Uncommon Way. I’m happy to have you here. I'm really excited because I'm getting ready to go on my mastermind retreat to Cabo. And so, I'm in the packing phase right now. And I just know, I mean, for those of you that are moms who have small kids, you know that even just the thought of being alone in a hotel room is so delicious.
I just know that I will be re-energized through this week. Also, it's in Cabo. And it's at this very high-end luxury resort. And so, I'm definitely going to be pampered. I'm going to be surrounded by beauty. I'll have all of that, in addition to expanding my mind and expanding my network, and learning from other like-minded women, bouncing off ideas and thoughts. And it will be so generative. I know I'll come back on fire; I always do. And I'll be really excited to bring all of that to you.
But today's podcast is going to be a little different. I'm basically going to be talking about myself the whole time, or at least I'm going to be talking about my thoughts. Rather than trying to teach you how to think, I've decided that I want to, at least once in a while, have this series where I just share how I think. And that's because it can be so powerful to just get inside someone's brain.
I've known for a while, but I think about things differently than other people. And definitely different than my clients. And usually, that's because, of course, I have built so many of the thoughts that they haven't yet built. And so, by sharing the way I think about it, I can help them collapse their timeline towards the kinds of thoughts that are going to generate different types of results for them.
So, for instance, I used to have a lot of money scarcity. I think I've told the story that I sat on Marie Forleo's list for four years before I actually purchased B-School, which was my first business investment. Because I just didn't think I was worthy of spending that $2,000 on, or something. And now, I drop $25,000 like it's candy, for my coaching.
I believe so fully in myself that I am my best bet, I’m my best investment, and my brain is where it's at. And that my investments always pay off. But all of that is very meticulously constructed thoughts that I didn't naturally believe, and I had to create for myself. So, the same thing with everything, pretty much, right?
My sense of owning my secret sauce, of understanding my clients, and the belief that I could really coach my clients and help them get results. I mean, everything. Everything that I teach in the Clarity Accelerator. And like I said, I think it took me longer than a lot of people as I was working through all different mindset issues.
Oh, sales, that was a big one, right? What it meant to be in sales. What it meant to be salesy. Is this right? Is this ethical? My brain would just go down the rabbit hole. So, I definitely have that body of constructed thoughts.
But I also have a body of thoughts that is because of what my brain has always been interested in. And so, the kind of questions it's been answering for itself. So for me, that has been a lot about kind of marching to your own drum. Separating yourself from conformist tendencies and really going out on your own way. Risk tolerance and increasing our risk tolerance.
And then there's another group of thoughts, which I'm not able to explain as fully. But I remember when I was working with my Human Design coach, she said, “Jenna, on your chart here, you have this channel energy of freak genius. And so, you just get things, and you need to be sharing that with the world.”
I don't know, that could be it, right? And it could also be that I just have a knack for picking up on trends. And this is why it's so powerful for me with my clients, because I often can see, I can see the gold in them, I can see how their business will play out, I can see the potential they have, and what they're going to be growing into. But long before they do.
I don't always share that with them right away because, of course, I want to allow room for them to grow into it. But I always hold that space for them. And every once in a while, I'll just drop a nugget. And they'll be like, “I never even thought of that. I never even saw that for myself.” I can't tell you how many times I've talked to women that come on saying, “I want to make X amount.” And I say, “Well, what if you made Y amount,” right? Or, “I want to work X many hours?” And I say, “What if you worked Y hours?”
That idea of expanding our minds is just so fun for me. So, I want to just give you some background on what I mean by this. I'll give you examples of two times in my life when I noticed that I was kind of ahead of the curve. Okay, actually, I'm gonna give you three. One is definitely with The Uncommon Way. Even as a young child, I noticed that I was more interested in separating from the herd than other people around me.
Now, I grew up on a military base. These were people who really understood the value of all working together in a community, wearing the same kind of uniform, and developing this team spirit, right? Maybe in another environment, my inclinations wouldn't have stood out quite as much, but in that environment, they definitely did.
But another way I've seen this play out was when the internet started. I remember being with my boyfriend in Spain, and we were driving through the countryside and through this really quaint, little, old mountain town; very, very tiny. They have a word for it when it’s even tinier than a town.
And he was lamenting, “It's so sad that all of these towns are just going to be forgotten forever because everyone's moving to the city. And this old way of life is dying.” And I said, without even missing a beat, “Actually, no. With the internet now, people are going to be able to drastically change their lives and work from anywhere. And they're going to be repopulating little towns like this because they enjoy the quality of life.”
Now, okay, y'all, we are talking; let me think back, when would this have been? The late 90s. This was the late 90s. I mean, the internet had just come out. I remember I was using it in school. But it was still this clunky thing that we didn't understand.
And it was like, okay, cool. So we can get this book from this library at UPenn. Right? It's not available in our library. We can read it, or this journal article, or something, or we can have this little message chat thing with this other student at XYZ College. Okay, I guess that's cool.
But it hadn't sunk in in the way that it obviously has now. We didn't really know what it was going to become. And so, by the time that I was in Spain, living in Spain, obviously some years had passed. Companies were starting to put up websites. Like, it was a thing, but it still wasn't a thing. But I saw the writing on the wall.
Another one is the invasion of Iraq by the United States. I absolutely saw that coming at least a year before. And everyone was like, “What are you talking about? We're focused on Afghanistan. This is about Afghanistan. Why are you talking about Iraq?” And I was like, “Trust me.” And sure enough, the U.S. invaded Iraq.
I'm setting that up, just so that if what I'm saying now sounds a little weird, you may be just a little bit more open to hearing it. Oh, full disclaimer, I haven't always been right. I also was 100% sure that Donald Trump would not be elected as president, and he was. So, not always right. But I do believe when I have these thoughts about the future, that they have been uncannily accurate.
Okay, another little bit of background is I already, in terms of longevity, I already grew up with thoughts that were different from those around me. So, I did have some ancestors and near relatives that lived past 100. I always saw that within my realm of possibility. And my great-grandmother lied about her age by a full decade, ten years. She did that because she would not have been considered marriage material if she had told her true age.
I don't know if she told her husband. I don't think so. I don't think she told anyone. And the only way we ever found out about it is that when her children were planning her 90th birthday, she, at that point, wasn't reading her own mail anymore. And one of her daughters opened this letter and it was from the President, and it said, “Congratulations on your 100th birthday.”
She wasn't turning 90; she was turning 100. And that was the first her children ever knew of it, and that is when she finally told them the truth. So, I've also had this idea that age is very relative, and that as long as you are thinking of yourself as younger and everyone around you is thinking of yourself as younger, you're younger.
From there, I'm just going to tell you, I believe we're going to live a long time. I believe you have the possibility of living much longer than you expect. It's so funny, I always get into this with Ben because he very much has this idea that he will live to the standard life expectancy of 84.5, whatever it is. And I've always believed I'm going to live over 100.
So, we'll notice this where he'll say something about middle age, and I'm like, middle who? Who are you talking about? I'm going to live over 100. I'll be middle-aged, I guess when I'm 60 or so or 55. But I've heard people, out and about in the world, my clients, etc., talking about middle age and referring to late 30s or 40s.
I can see that my thoughts are so different about this. I'll hear Ben say things like, “Oh, I'm getting old.” And I'm like, “Don't say that. Why are you saying that?” And it's funny; my dad is exactly like me. He's married to a woman who also thinks about getting old more and more. And Dad's always like, “I feel great. I’m good.”
This topic has been coming up for me lately for a specific reason, which I'm about to tell you. I want to let you know that I had planned to come out and talk about this on the podcast, and specifically, my thoughts about aging and how weird it may seem to some of you all. But I really think I need to plant this seed. You can, of course, take it or leave it, but it's worthwhile to plant the seed because just thinking in this way, I think, can have positive outcomes in your life right now.
But then, just recently, just yesterday, actually, I read an article that is about a study that has just come out of Harvard, cutting-edge research, that is talking about the ability to turn back the clock. So, I'll get to that in a second.
First, to let you in on the human level, Ben and I would like to adopt a daughter. Now, we've held back on this for several years because of how we've been working through our thoughts about it. And we really wanted to make a clear, conscious decision in the best interest of our daughter about whether we should go forward with this.
So, what is it going to mean that when she's graduating from college, we’ll be in our 70s? By the way, I'm turning 50 this year. Whoohoo! Y'all have to put this in context. So, I'm turning 50 this year, and so is Ben. And we're now thinking about adopting a daughter.
What does that mean for her that we will be aging parents? What does it mean for her that, like I said, when she's graduating college, although I don't really even think… That's another one of my things. I don't think traditional institutions will be as popular as they are nowadays, for that upper-level education experience. But that's a story for another time.
But if she does choose to go to college, then of course, when she's graduating, you know, Ben and I will be in our 70s. What does it mean that maybe she won't have as many years with us? Is this fair? Is this ethical? All the things. And even as Ben and I have been talking, I've had a slightly different timeline than he has. And through this level of inquiry, and based on my previous mindset, which I explained to you, I've been drawing in evidence into my sphere to help support me in moving forward with this deep, deep desire that I have to bring this daughter into my life.
Which, by the way, I've had since I was a child. I've had a very clear knowing of who she is. So, one of those things, is I've been seeing more and more, everywhere, that children of Dylan's age will very likely live to be 130.
And so, that's really set me up into this scientifically-backed belief that our longevity is dramatically increasing. And also, there's a very famous study; I’ll see if I can find it. But it was, I think, also out of Harvard. And what they did is they took a group of elderly people and they put them in a town that was designed specifically to look like how a town would have been when they were in their 20s; the same type of music was playing, and the same type of cars.
And what they did, is they treated these people, the entire time, as if they were 20. So, they had to carry their own suitcases and bags up to the rooms they were staying in. What they noticed at the end of the study was that biometric markers had changed with these people. They were standing taller. Their, I think, blood pressure was different. I don't know. I don't want to make inaccurate claims. But there were, bottom line, remarkable differences in these humans after just mindset changes.
But there's more, my friends; there’s so much more. Another thing that's come across my radar is a podcast from TED Talks. And it's specifically about CRISPR gene editing. So for those of you that don't know, CRISPR is a new type of gene editing technology that's, I think, maybe within the last ten years.
It's open source and readily available to everyone. And it's already being implemented. It's been implemented in cancer treatments and all sorts of different ways. They're holding back on unleashing it because the bioethicists and everybody, they're having a big conversation about what this means for us, for humans. And what kind of constraint do we want to have with this technology.
Because it will allow us, for instance, to regenerate organs. It will allow us to go in, and in fact, this has already been done in China, where we can edit the cells of our future children. So that, for instance, they don't carry some sort of genetic disease. I mean, it's truly remarkable. But if we can start to see that organ generation, regeneration, is just around the corner for us... I have seen my ideas about longevity really start to transform radically.
But let me tell you about what recently came out, because it is absolutely paradigm-changing. It is, I believe, going to change our world. Obviously, not perfect, yet, but what they've actually been able to do is to rewind the clock biologically for mice.
Apparently, the way we've always thought about aging is that over time, our cells mutate. There are DNA mutations that lead to us not functioning as well and performing as well, I guess, as we do when we're children. And that over time, our cells just become more and more and more degraded, and then we die.
Well, what they found out is that is not an accurate portrayal. What's actually going on, is that through epigenetics, through the instructions that our body gives the individual cells, that tells them, “Okay, you go and turn into a kidney cell. And you go ahead, and turn into a skin cell,” that information gets corrupted over time.
And so, when they can reintroduce, because, of course, every cell has the blueprint for the entire body, right? And when they can reintroduce the correct instructions, you're actually dialing back the clock. So, the leader of the study said, he used to look at elderly people and think they were old.
And now, he just looks at them as people who need a reboot. The same way that a computer system can kind of be corrupted over time. And then, you just need to reboot it, and everything's fine. That's the way our human bodies are.
They have actually done this with mice. They have actually been able to reverse the aging process. And now, they're moving on to studying this in primates. And what they're going to do, is they're going to attach it to an antibiotic, and they're going to be giving these pills to the primates.
And then, when they stop giving the pills, they'll stop the rejuvenation process; I guess, is what it would be called. So, they do believe that they'll be able to dial it into that level. This is obviously groundbreaking.
And it brings up so many questions that, of course, people will need to consider: What does this mean for the world? What does this mean for the population of the world? Do we want to live forever? Is it actually possible to live forever? I'm going to leave those questions to people that have dedicated their careers to this.
But what I want to offer you is, is this enough to at least start to change your thoughts about aging, and about the time you have left? We may not be making the leap to ‘now I'm going to live forever’. But all of a sudden, this thought, “I'm going to live to be 84.5,” might feel limited, and even unrealistic.
So, even if you were to expand 20 years longer than you expected, what change does that have on you now? How do you see yourself as a human within that span of time? What does that mean about what you have left? What do you want to dedicate your life to? How do you want to spend your moments, and how you're able to show up?
I believe that the answers to these questions will dramatically improve our lives. Regardless of whether they play out in reality, all of us know we could get hit by a bus tomorrow. We have no guarantees. But thoughts that make us feel like we're young, like we're vibrant, like we still have so much more to give, like we have plenty of time, like we can allow ourselves to take a day off here and there. Like, we're just getting started; the sky is the limit.
All of those will create very exciting results, compared to so many of the baggage thoughts that we've been carrying around, especially as women who are socialized to believe that after about 30 years old, or 35, we're over the hill and we're kind of useless.
Believe me, I feel it even with this positive mindset that I have. I still look in the window, and having been socialized as a woman, I see the lines, and they lead to worry or some other negative brain trajectory. But what would it be like if we all started talking in this way? If it all became expected and normal that we would need reboots once in a while? And then, we'd get back to going on about our lives.
What if we were all helping each other think with a longer-term view? And at the same time, paradoxically, with we don't have to be in such a rush kind of view? You know, I joke with Ben that someday I will be sitting with my daughter, and I will tell her about this deep decision time frame that took years for us to think about; should we or shouldn't we, in our late 40s?
And she will laugh. She will think that was so funny that I was only in my 40s, and yet, I thought this was a big deal that may end up being just one tiny chunk of my life. I don't know about you, but I am so excited. And I choose to stay in excitement. It's not only going to allow me to welcome in an amazing daughter into our family. But it's going to continue helping me share gifts with the world and ground into my beliefs, that the fact that I feel like I'm 35 makes sense; that age really is just a number.
Okay, my friends, have a wonderful week. I'll see you next time.
And remember, on a certain level, you know who you are. And, every day, you're stepping further into what you are here to create.
Hey, if you're a coach who wants true clarity about your secret sauce, your people, your best way of doing business, and how you talk about your offer, then I invite you to join us in the Clarity Accelerator.
I'll teach you to connect all the dots, the dots that have always been there for you. So that you can show up like you were born for exactly this. Come join us and supercharge every other tool or tactic you'll ever learn, from Facebook ads to manifestation. Just go to TheUncommonWay.com/schedule and set up a time to talk. I can't wait to be your coach.
Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity First Strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.
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Ep #28: What it’s Really Like to Earn Multiple 7-Figures with Abby Walker
Have you ever wondered what it’s really like to earn multiple seven figures? Have you ever wondered who these people are and how money and the obtaining of it has affected their lives? If so, I have just the guest for you this week, as I’m welcoming Abby Walker to the show. Abby has built her business from zero to multiple seven figures, and she joins me this week to share her journey.
Episode Summary
Abby Walker joins Jenna this week to discuss the power of money and show you how to start feeling worthy of making more money.
Join us in the Clarity Accelerator by scheduling a call here.
Enjoy the show? Leave a review to help other likeminded entrepreneurs gain clarity in their businesses.
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Show Notes
Have you ever wondered what it’s really like to earn multiple seven figures? Have you ever wondered who these people are and how money and the obtaining of it has affected their lives? If so, I have just the guest for you this week, as I’m welcoming Abby Walker to the show. Abby has built her business from zero to multiple seven figures, and she joins me this week to share her journey.
Abby is the founder of Vivian Lou, a company that provides insoles for heels and helps women wear high heels without pain. Abby makes wearing heels fun, individualized and unique from a place of power and fun, and today she’s sharing her experience and relationship with money to help you uncover and face any resistance you currently face.
Join us this week to hear Abby’s thoughts about money growing up and her attitude towards it throughout her childhood and as she started working. Learn how she started to truly understand the power of money, how she learned the purpose of having money in her life and realized what it could do for her, and how she thinks she will approach and deal with more growth in her business.
Abby Walker
What You’ll Learn From This Episode:
What to do if you worry about relationships changing as you start to earn more money.
The importance of trusting your gut in your business.
Why we have to desensitize ourselves to things that are new to us.
The importance of having a plan and tracking money in your business.
Abby’s advice for hiring contractors or team members in your business.
The jealousy Abby used to feel when she saw women making money and how she learned to stop feeling this way.
Abby’s thoughts on earning more than her husband.
The true power of money.
Listen to the Full Episode:
Featured on the Show:
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Abby Walker: VivianLou Website | The Desire Movement Website | Instagram | Facebook | Email
Full Episode Transcript:
What's it really like to earn multiple seven-figures? Who are these people? How has money affected their lives, and how has the getting of the money affected their life on the down-low? Let's talk to a woman who has built her business from zero to multiple seven-figures and find out.
You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top-ranked business coach, and reformed over-analyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.
Hey, welcome back to The Uncommon Way. I have a special guest for you today. She is the last client I'm bringing on in this series, where I am sharing the thoughts and voices of women who have been where you are and have found their way to clarity. Now, you have all told me that you have definitely enjoyed hearing from them and learning from them.
So if you've benefited, first of all, please leave a review or a second review, if you've already left one. It's very easy. On an iPhone, you just scroll down to the bottom of the show page where the episodes are, and you hit the stars that you want to share with other listeners around the world. And then underneath that, there's something that says “leave a review”.
Okay, so the second thing you can do, is get yourself inside this room. These are the kinds of women you'll be interacting with and learning from, and building relationships with that can last the rest of your life. I don't know about you, but in my everyday life outside of the internet, I don't get to interact with women who are growing businesses and growing themselves in this way.
It's uncommon to see women playing big and growing high-impact businesses that are also tuned into their purpose. That prioritize their fulfillment and well-being above money, yes, but are finding ways to create that as they grow their businesses. Rather than using it as a reason not to grow their business or are just in constant hustle. And who are cultivating that kind of decisiveness, that intuitive guidance, that knowingness and yes, clarity.
If you value that, and you want more of that in your life, you should be in here with us rather than outside thinking about it. I suggest that people join the Clarity Accelerator with the same energy that they're wanting to cultivate when they're there. So do it decisively, or in trust, or choosing to believe that you belong in this room just as much as anyone else.
Whatever your inner visionary is longing for you to step into, you can step into it right now; how amazing is that? The Clarity Accelerator isn't just for new entrepreneurs, by the way. But it's not, not for new entrepreneurs, either. It's for women that are initiating a new energy in their life, and they want clarity on how they want to manifest that energy. They want to do it their way. And they want to know what their next endeavor is going to look like.
This is the place we go to get the clarity we need to take ourselves to what's waiting for us on the other side. This work will change your life. And every woman deserves to walk through the world this way.
All right now, let me tell you about Abby Walker. She is the founder of Vivian Lou. At the end of this, you're gonna hear me completely fan girl on this product. She creates insoles for high-heel shoes. But these are specially designed insoles. They're aeronautic technology or something. You can check out her link in the show notes and go visit the page where she describes everything. But they're very cool, and I have personally tested this product and am a fan.
So today, we're specifically talking about money. It's such a charged topic. Even if we're money emancipated on the outside, we almost all have some level of concern about money, deep down, in some way. And the more relatable women that speak up about it and share their experiences with money, the more we can uncover and dismantle our own fears or resistance.
I know you'll gain a lot from this. Now I will say the audio quality was not perfect. Abby and I have been going back with scheduling for a while, and we finally found a time that worked for us, but it was over the phone. So you'll notice a distinct difference in audio quality. Stay with it; it’s a good conversation. And I know, like I said, that you will gain as much as I did. So, let's bring on my friend and client, Abby Walker.
Jenna Harrison: Hi, Abby, thanks for coming on the show.
Abby Walker: Thanks for having me. I'm excited to be here.
Jenna: I think it's so fun, we're going to be talking about… Basically, how this came up is that there was a client of mine moving towards seven-figures who was having some reservations about going all in and actually getting there. And some of the mindset issues came up about what will it mean when I get there. I hear this so often at all different levels, right?
Even if you're thinking, “What will it mean when I get to six-figures? When I'm fully autonomous?” And we create these levels in our minds as if we'll be so completely different; maybe, we will. And so, that's just the conversation I wanted to have.
We don't really have any idea where this conversation will go, we're just gonna go with it. So, I'm really curious, and I have a feeling a lot of people will be curious too. When you rewind the clock and think back to before you were earning at the seven-figure level and multi-seven figures, what were your thoughts about money growing up, for instance?
Abby: Sure. So, I actually had been afraid of money for a large portion of my life. And it was before I truly understood what money meant. But my dad was the breadwinner in the house, and early on, I decided I didn't want to live the life that he did. He was incredibly successful and made a lot of money. And so the concept of money was like, well, will I become my dad if I make a lot of money? I don't want to live like my dad because he's stressed about money.
Not that he had to be, but that's just his childhood upbringing, I believe. And so there were a lot of, like, questions around money. Like, is it good? Do I want to have it? Does it create more stress than it's worth? And obviously, when I first started out working, I wanted to make as much money as I could. But I didn't truly understand the power of money.
Since starting my own company, I've actually had to do a lot of kind of digging around and uncovering what my challenges were around money. Because my husband often reminds me, “You don't go into business to become a charity. You’re in it to make money,” and all of those sorts of things. And I'm like, “Yes, you're right. You're absolutely right.”
So, profitability has actually become a key driver for me. But before that, I had to do my own kind of digging around money. And what I’ve realized is money is simply energy. Many people have said this, so it's not my term, but it's just an amplifier. So if you're a good person, money just amplifies your goodness. And if you're, maybe, not a so good person, money can amplify that; maybe not the goodness in you. If you're a good person, there's nothing to fear around money, just more good will come up.
When I started my business, I never really set financial goals. It was like, I just want to help women wear high heels four times longer, without pain. But it wasn't until one of my first coaches sat me down, and she was like, “No, you actually have to talk about numbers, and you should have a plan.” And it was so painstaking for me that she literally had to come around the table and open up the spreadsheet and sit next to me as I typed numbers in. I did not like talking about numbers. I freaked out opening my bank account, all the time; I just did not like money.
But pushing through and kind of working on the spreadsheet and figuring out, oh my gosh, it's kind of fun to figure out if I sell this many insoles... It just became more of a gamification process for me versus setting targets that I had to meet.
That it felt more like, if I set a target, then that becomes a grade upon which I'm graded. And I hated that concept. But now, it’s just more; I’m setting goals, and if I achieve them, I do. If I don't, that's great. It doesn't mean anything about me. So, yeah, that was a really long-winded answer. I apologize.
Jenna: I think you touched on so many great points there. There really is, I think, for so many of us women, this relationship where with one hand we're saying yes, come towards me. I want business success, I want more money, and I want what it can do for my life. And with the other hand, we’re like, “No, stop. Not too close. Not too much. Would that be too much?”
And then, how we move through that is really a great question. Remember how you were saying, “Well, I didn't invent the term ‘money is energy’?” I feel like so many of us kind of know what we're supposed to think about money. It still doesn't feel fully integrated into our bodies. It still feels like there's this resistance or holding back to it.
And it just helps to hear one more woman say it, yet again, in her way, in her specific way, so that we can help sink that into our bones. That maybe it is okay to earn more than we kind of would let ourselves normally go for. I don't know, how do you think about it? Like, what is that stretch and transition?
Abby: From a business perspective, I talk about money in my business all day, every day. But when it comes to how money trickles down to me and how I look at money coming into our household, I often look at it as… Honestly, I'm just not motivated by money. And I don't know if that’s me, if that's female, or whatever the case may be. But I truly am not motivated by money.
I'm motivated by what money can provide for me. And so, my ultimate currency is peace and freedom. And money provides me peace and freedom. That's why I have learned to welcome money, and attract money, and be grateful for money, all of those things. Because it's not money for money's sake, it allows me to live and provide for my ultimate currency, which is peace and freedom.
Jenna: That’s so good. I can think of two really good questions, but go on and finish what you were saying.
Abby: I think for women who have had trouble kind of setting goals or welcoming in a large amount of money, maybe finding what their ultimate goal is; how do they want to feel at the end of the day? And then figure out how money applies to that or how money can support that.
Jenna: How did you learn that for yourself? About thinking of it in that way, and what money could really bring for you, and what the purpose really was for you of having money in your life?
Abby: Sure. So, it started, again, when I was really resistant to setting goals for Vivian Lou and looking at money and talking about money in the company. And at that point, I had decided, okay, let's not set a target for money. Let's set a target on how many women I want to help wear high-heels four times longer without pain. So that was one channel.
Then we donate money to charities, as well. So then I was like, “Okay, well, how much money could I donate to charities if my sales were higher?” And then my coach, my sales coach at the time, Ursula Mentjes, she's like, “You know, these are all great, but they're disconnected from you. You really need to learn how to embody money for yourself. Like, these are all great. And this is very helpful for your first steps, but you really need to work on welcoming money personally.”
And so, she was the one who kind of helped me transition to welcoming money. I still had a very hard time just saying, “I want to pay myself this. I want to earn this. So that's how I attached that peace and freedom at the end. It's always been a way for me to attach something beyond just money in the bank. That's just how I “dealt” with money, wanting to earn exponentially more than I have in the past.
Jenna: That’s so good. I mean, we do have to desensitize ourselves to something that's new to us. And we have to find ways that work for our brain to help us baby steps through that. Because otherwise, there's just so much resistance.
Abby: One other thing that Ursula taught me as well, she always, always reminded me, “Money loves a plan.” And so, you know, you don't want money just to sit for money’s sake, but what are you going to do with that money? Are you going to go on a vacation? Are you going to buy a property? Are you going to purchase a new car?
I feel like money flows more easily when you have a plan as to where it's gonna go. So, my husband and I actually have a list of about 20 things where, when we get a big influx of money, this is where that goes. We have very specific designated places as to how we're going to use that money, which has worked out really well for us.
Jenna: I love that. Yeah. And really, the way I would frame it, it's really about clarity and decision-making. So when you decided how that money will come in and where you're going to allocate it, through the clarity of that, the Universe can rise up and meet that dream with you.
So, you talked about peace and freedom, which I know a lot of listeners can relate to, and I can as well. And that can come right up against the question of, if I earn more, won't that completely take away all of my peace and freedom? Speak to that, and can you relate? Was there a time when that also worried you?
Abby: Yes. I am in a very unique position because I offer a product and not a service. So when I make more sales, it doesn't necessarily require more time from me. I'm in a unique situation being a product-based business. So, I really didn't struggle with that. I'll take that back.
When the pandemic hit, I let go of a lot of my contractors, and so I am still doing my marketing. I am still doing my customer service. I am still doing a lot of the nitty-gritty. And so, I do think about it. You know, if I double my sales, that's going to double the number of customer service calls and inquiries. But I'm always saying, “If it gets too much for me to handle, I’ll just hire that out again.” That's an easy fix.
So that's really the one perspective where if I do increase sales, that's the one trigger that will require more of my effort. But I will say, when I first started making money, I thought it was a fluke. I didn't think it was actually me. So, my first big year in business, I was incredibly profitable. And then, I started hiring contractor after contractor after contractor to come into my business, and tell me all of the things that I was doing wrong.
I was spending so much money on contractors and not paying myself. This went on for a good, I want to say, maybe two, two and a half years. And I quickly fell out of love with my company because it was no longer mine. We weren't doing things the way I wanted to do them. I lost that intuitive hit with my company because there were so many voices and so much code on my site.
So when the pandemic hit, I let go of every contractor, like I said, and I backed out all of the code. I felt like there were so many hands in my business, and I just cut them all off. I fell back in love with my business, my customers, my product, and everything. Profitability is back up where it was the first year that sales went through the roof. So, it's been a wild ride. But yeah, it's interesting.
Be careful where you spend money in your business; I guess that is what my point is. Once you start making money, be careful where you spend it because it will come in, and you'll want more and whatnot. But yeah, it's just you need to be mindful about how you bring people in.
Jenna: Yeah. Congratulations, first of all, for riding that journey out. And I can see that, you know, so often we do. Once we get the money, once we receive the money, there's still a part of us that's like, I don't know. And we do, we tend to spend it, or we just want to get it away from us as quickly as possible, and get back to that setpoint that feels normal and comfortable.
Abby: Yes. I actually went through some of my notes not too long ago. And honestly, this is gonna sound silly, but I started crying for the old version of me. Because I felt so sad for her that she didn't believe she was worthy of making that much money. And so, she was spending it on other people who, in their minds, they were worthy of all the money I was paying them.
And so, I was like, man, it was just such an interesting observation of mindset when it came to money.
Jenna: Right. So that's what I see when I hear that story of yours. It's like, it's not just a woman who wasn't quite certain of her own power to lead the company and to make the decisions. But it's also someone who's gone through the learning wave of bringing on money, trying to get the money off her plate, and then stepping into acceptance of actually holding and having the money for herself.
Abby: Yeah.
Jenna: How does that feel? Tell us, so that we all can sit in the space with you. Tell us what it feels like bringing in that money and having that profitability, for you.
Abby: I track money, actually, every day via a spreadsheet. And so, I track the profitability of the company. And then, I pay myself every week. I almost make it a ritual now. Like, I'm so excited to sit down at my desk Monday morning and go through last week's numbers and pay myself. It is so exciting.
Before, it used to be, should I pay myself? I don't know if I'm worthy of this. And now I'm like, I am 100% worthy of every cent that is deposited into my bank account. I love checking my bank accounts. I love looking at Pay Pal. I love watching sales. It's just it's completely different energy around money, and I love it. It’s so freeing, it's so free.
Jenna: Abby, that is so good. And I know that everyone listening can feel that excitement and can start to try it on for themselves. Like, what if I really felt this excited and this worthy? If I really believed that I'm absolutely worthy of this money, how amazing would that be?
Abby: It took me a long while to get there. And I hope it does not take other women, or the women listening, as long as it took me. But it is such a relief and a blessing and joy to be on the other side of that hurdle, for sure.
Jenna: And don't you feel like things really are speeding up? I mean, just through moments like this, where you're willing to come on and speak to so many other women. And then they're willing to go and speak to other women. And we're all just accelerating our timelines, more and more, as we avail ourselves of all of this support from other women.
Abby: Yeah. And I'm not gonna lie, I used to have a lot of jealousy and comparison energy when I looked at other women entrepreneurs who were making a boatload of money. I judged them a lot. And it was very, very odd and, obviously, a reflection on me, not on them. It was hard for me to believe how women truly cheerlead other women's success. Like, I wasn't there mentally.
And now I'm like, hallelujah! We all can make as much money as we want. Even if you're talking or teaching or sharing the same thing, there is an abundance, an unlimited abundance, of clients for you. Because your voice will resonate differently than another woman's voice. And I feel like this realm of competition has melted away for me; there is no competition. It's just let's help each other all get to the finish line. Because what we want is all different, as well. So, it's not like you're competing for what each woman wants either.
Jenna: Can you remember back how you moved through that? Or, some of the shifts that happened on the way? Or, was it like one blinding moment where you [inaudible]?
Abby: Such a good question, and I honestly feel like it happened during the pandemic, when I let go of everyone's influence in my company. This is going to sound really woo. I call it “the U tube”, which is just U and then tube; it's like my specific tube to the universe. And, like, I got that back.
Like, I used to have a direct conversation with God or Universe or Spirit. And when all of these people came into my company, it was like, I was bringing in external views, and so I was looking external, too. There was just this kind of tunnel vision. And once I let go of all those people, it literally was just a conversation between my business, me, and the universe. It was just the three of us just conversing.
And so, I think by strengthening that channel, whatever anyone else does, doesn't impact the universe, my connection with my company, the clients who come, or customers who buy from me. It's a very specific conversation between all of us. And what other women do is their business. And I love seeing other women succeed and championing them now, for sure.
Jenna: You talked about how if your business grows even more, you would bring on other people into the company. And I know that a lot of people are in that kind of worried place of, what will that mean for me? And since you've gone through it, at a different level, can you share your thoughts about how you think you'll deal with more growth in your business and more wealth?
Abby: Sure. One of my best hires was my first customer service person. And it was, again, trusting your gut and intuitive hits. But I had reached out to this virtual assistant firm. And one thing I love about virtual assistant firms is most of them assign you a contact, that’s your person. But if that contact ever goes out of town, they will assign you a backup. So, you're never left in a lurch if someone goes on vacation.
But with Christina, actually, I had sent her an email, and her reply to me sounded as if it was me. It was the craziest thing. Like, the way she used exclamation points and how she signed off her email. I was like, “Oh my gosh, I am talking to myself. And yes, she is the person to do customer service,” like, no questions asked.
And so, one, I would say trust your gut. Two, if you're bringing on a contractor… I honestly think I didn't set contractors up for success. I think I expected to be disappointed by them every single time I hired them. And that's just the bad way to start off an arrangement, just from an energetic perspective. So doing it differently, I would energetically infuse an arrangement with; we are going to succeed. We are not going to let each other down. This is going to be a magical combination of skills and whatnot.
So, yeah, I would say expect the best when you hire people and trust your gut.
Jenna: I love that. Because it really goes back to what you were saying about how money makes us more of ourselves. And so, you're a woman that did follow a nudge, to go out and start your own company, and there was this communication with the universe.
And as you're growing your company, you're stepping more into that worth, and you're obviously stepping more into that communication, and more into your intuition. And that's what you're gonna keep doing as you grow. It's not like that changes, you just become more of it, more skilled with it. So good.
Okay, let's also talk about a couple of the other major fears or pain points that come up. We covered; will I have to work more? Will that change me as a person? But let's talk about your relationships with other people. So, a lot of women are concerned that relationships with others will change as they start earning more money. Have you noticed that people change how they treat you when they know how much you earn? And how open are you with people about how much you earn?
Abby: I will share Vivian Lou’s book with anyone who asks. I am happy to show them how many sales I have, profitability, expenses, and all that. I am an open book when it comes to my company. I am not an open book as to how much I pay myself. I feel like that’s no one business, really, other than mine and my husband’s.
And so, I'm very open with, obviously, him. I'm open with my family as well. My family is incredibly supportive of my entrepreneurial journey. So, you know, if they're curious as to how much I pay myself when I make X amount of dollars, I'm very open with them as well.
But friends, they know how Vivian Lou is doing, but they don't know how much I pay myself. I don't feel any obligation to share that with anyone. But like I said, I am so open when it comes to company profitability, where I've made mistakes, sales, what grows sales, all of that kind of stuff. So, from a company perspective, I will share anything that anyone asks. But from a personal perspective, I don't share what I actually pay myself.
Jenna: What about when there are demonstrations, though, in your life and your lifestyle, about what you pay yourself? Have you noticed people change how they treat you as they witness that you must be earning more maybe than they are?
Abby: No, actually.
Jenna: I wasn't expecting you to say yes, necessarily. I just had to ask the question because this is what we fear.
Abby: Yeah. I have a very small friend group, and that's just how I have always operated, with a very small friend group. I have my girlfriends, who are part of my mastermind group. And they're incredibly supportive; we're all at different levels. And money is never a judgment. So they're always supporting; Yes, I'm so excited you bought this or did this, or going on this vacation.
And then, with our kind of couples group friends, no. I mean, everyone is incredibly supportive of the growth of everyone and the expansion of everyone. So yeah, I mean, I don't know if that's because I have a small group of friends or what, but people haven't judged for the way that we have spent the money that has come in.
Jenna: And maybe it's also just because you don't make it mean anything differently. And so they don’t either.
Abby: That's so true. I mean, Bill and I have not changed as people; the more money we have received. So we may have more property, but we still live the same way we've always lived, if that makes sense. Our investments as well, aren't outwardly visible to people. And I think that makes a difference, too.
I mean, we still drive a 2010 Subaru Forester with cloth interiors. Cars just aren't important to us. So I mean, people from an outward perspective don't notice, but they don't also know how many properties we own or vacations we take or the investments we've made that are kind of invisible.
Jenna: What are your thoughts about earning more than your husband or potentially earning more than your husband?
Abby: Oh, he is all for it. He can't wait for that day. And in fact, this year, I actually earned more than him, which is phenomenal. He makes a lot of money himself. But he can't wait for the day. And so, our goal, actually, is he wants to retire as soon as possible. And while he has a very good job, you know, his ultimate goal is to retire as soon as possible. That's just what we're working towards. There will come a day when I make more than him because, hopefully, he won't be working.
Jenna: And you're both excited for that?
Abby: Yes. Yes.
Jenna: I love it. I remember that was a big fear of mine. And I remember a coach early on said, “Go out and do the homework. Go out and find as many examples as you can of women that are earning more than their partners, how in love they are, and what great relationships they have. So like, look at Oprah. Find as many as you can because they're absolutely out there. I always think that's so great to hear about, A- that they exist. There are a lot of women making more than their partners. But also, they stay together.
Abby: I also think that I'm incredibly lucky, in that my husband also likes to do grocery shopping, does the laundry, and is incredibly handy. But there are other ways that he supports the family outside of just bringing in money. So, I also think that it might be important for women to remind their men, their partners, that you provide so much more than just a paycheck for our family.
So if I bring in more, it doesn't take away your role or your importance to this unit, like we still need you for this, we still need you. And “need” it is an interesting word; I never say need. Because I don't need to stay in this relationship, I want to stay in this relationship. So, we want you to do that, and we would love for you to continue to do this. Like, those are the important things; it's not the paycheck.
Jenna: Oh, it's so good. I was just talking to a client the other day about this, and I think it is so great to highlight all the ways that someone is contributing. But also, even if they weren't doing the grocery shopping or raising the children or all the traditionally female roles, just through their support, their inspiration, their brainstorming, their ability to help you laugh and get outside of the business, all the ways that that person adds and contributes to your life, is so valuable.
Abby: So valuable. I 100% believe this. There is no way Vivian Lou, the opportunity to build this company, would have existed without Bill; it wouldn't. He provided the platform from which I could jump. And so, I am so eternally grateful for him, and always will be because none of this would have existed without him.
Jenna: There's that old saying like, “Behind every man, there's a great woman,” or “Behind every great man, there’s a great woman,” something like that. And I just think that it's so liberating, for both sexes now, to step into this place of equal partnership, regardless of what the financial earnings are.
And so liberating for men to not have to be in this place where their only value really is the money they're bringing into the family, and then they have nothing else to do; the household management or the emotional management of the family, or anything. It's liberating for them, too.
Okay, so what haven’t we touched on that we absolutely need to touch on regarding money and women? Can you think of anything?
Abby: I just want to reiterate that I suffered from comparison for so long and that just dragged me down. I think it prevented me from making more money. So, the sooner you can step out of that and just into your own lane. Like, I think the floodgates will just open and opportunities will come in and whatnot.
Everyone who is listening is absolutely 100% unquestionably deserving of all of the money and all of the experiences, and all of the things that you desire; 100% unquestionably, unquestionably.
Jenna: I love it. Yes. One of my favorite analogies is, “Does the baby have to earn love?” No, the baby's deserving of love, regardless of whatever they do to go out and earn it. And are we deserving of sunshine? No. Everyone, equally, can go out and enjoy the sun. We all have as much right to enjoy the sun as each other.
Another one of my favorites is, “There's a limited amount of air right now on our planet, and yet, none of us have air scarcity.” None of us are worried we're going to run out of air. Or, that we have to compete with the other person because there's a limited amount of air on the planet.
And yet, we know there are vast, vast amounts of wealth on the planet, and our global GDP is always growing and will continue to grow. And yet, we have such money scarcity.
Abby: And if you think about it, I had this conversation earlier this week, money is simply wrinkled-up paper; green paper with dead presidents on it. Like, that's all it is, really. It's not the money, it's the energy of money. And so I feel like it's easier for women to, and maybe this is just me, I don't want to generalize women in this statement, but to attract energy versus money. And so if you liken money to energy, it's so simple to attract it to yourself versus attracting wrinkly paper.
Jenna: Once we did go off the gold standard, and money became an idea, it became so meta and so quantum, right? Like, we really are sharing ideas with each other. We're sharing value. And we're just facilitating more and more wealth creation among women. It is a very beautiful thing that we can choose to engage in rather than the old paradigm where it was so dirty.
And I also believe that… I was talking with someone today about this as well. I mean, we've seen studies that show that women tend to spread the wealth, to give the wealth. And so, it does tend to go back into our communities. It tends to go to really great causes. And we also share our knowledge, and the experiences of that wealth, with our families and our communities and all the other women we can think of to share with.
We really want to put the money into the hands of the people that will do amazing things with it. Abby, it was so great having you on. Speaking of opportunities, where can people learn more about you, more about Vivian Lou?
Abby: VivianLou.com. You can find us on Instagram and Facebook, and all the social channels. I really am not out there; I was for a while. I wrote a book in 2017, and so I was on social quite a bit around that time. Just for my peace of mind, I've decided to not be on social as much. But I would welcome any questions anyone has. I would love to help support anyone or provide any insight. And so you can reach me at Abby@vivianlou.com.
Jenna: That is so generous of you. That would be, I’m sure, so wonderful for so many people that are thinking they just have one more question they wish they could ask you. They’re probably trying to beam it to me right now from the future to the past; Jenna just ask her this. I'm so glad they have the opportunity to follow up with you, if they do have one burning question, they just have to know.
Everyone, I have to say that Abby, the insoles from Vivian Lou are absolutely amazing. I took a trip to Durham with my husband. I think I didn't get to tell you this, Abby. But I did actually wear heels when we were down there and used the insoles, and I love them. They're just so amazing.
Another thing we could talk about, but I know you all will pick up on it when you visit Vivian Lou, when you visit the site. Abby has a very keen understanding of who her client is, and she really makes wearing heels really fun but also very individualized and unique. Like, from a place of power and fun; and you can wear them or not wear them. Just being in that energy of her company, it's such a pleasurable place to be. I think it's a place where all women would want to hang out.
Abby: I love that. Thank you so much.
Jenna: Yes, yes. Everybody go check this out. Buy yourself some insoles, rock some heels when you want to, and when you don't, don't. And you'll be able to do it in, you know, it'll be so much more comfortable. And you'll read all about it on her website, how these were designed, and how high-tech they all are. But yeah, we shouldn't have to live in pain. We should all just be living phenomenal lives all the time.
Abby: I totally agree.
Jenna: Alright, Abby, it was so great talking to you. Thanks for coming on the show.
Abby: Thanks for having me.
Hey, if you're someone who wants true clarity about where your business is headed next, about your secret sauce, your people, your best way of doing business, and how you talk about your offer… If you want to forever banish any passive energy around just taking what’s coming to you and shift into active creation of the life and legacy you want, then I invite you to join us in the Clarity Accelerator.
I'll teach you to connect all the dots, the dots that have always been there for you. So that you can show up like you were born for exactly this. Come join us and supercharge every other tool or tactic you'll ever learn, from Facebook ads to manifestation. Just go to TheUncommonWay.com/schedule and set up a time to talk. I can't wait to be your coach.
Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity First Strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.
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Ep #27: How to Use Social Media Strategically (and Maybe LIKE it, Too!)
Social media doesn’t have to be the time suck, tear-your-hair-out-over-what-to-write, desperately checking for likes and engagement experience that you might know or be used to, and thinking about it in this way isn’t serving you. So this week, I’m encouraging you to question your current way of thinking about social media and giving you a simple way to evaluate whether your current beliefs and attitudes towards it are serving you.
Episode Summary
Jenna shares some commonly held misconceptions around the use of social media in business and shows you how to start using social media in a targeted, strategic way.
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Show Notes
Social media. Some of us love it, some of us hate it, and some of us simply resign ourselves to being on it because we believe it is essential in our businesses. There is no one way to think about social media in your business, but there are some specific ways to use it strategically based on exactly where you are that will not only release pressure and focus your efforts, but might even let you enjoy it a lot more.
Social media doesn’t have to be the time suck, tear-your-hair-out-over-what-to-write, desperately checking for likes and engagement experience that you might know or be used to, and thinking about it in this way isn’t serving you. So this week, I’m encouraging you to question your current way of thinking about social media and giving you a simple way to evaluate whether your current beliefs and attitudes towards it are serving you.
Whether you love, hate, or feel resigned to using social media in your business, this episode is for you. I’m sharing some common thoughts and misconceptions held by business owners about the use of social media in business, and I’m showing you how to start using social media in your business in a targeted, specific, intentional way.
What You’ll Learn From This Episode:
Why you don’t need a social media presence to be legit, and what you do need instead.
How to evaluate whether the way you currently think about social media is serving you.
Why safe and comfortable don’t always lead to growth.
The biggest misconception I see in business today.
Why believing that being on social media is the only way to find clients isn’t serving you.
The exact process I used with social media in my business that made it so effective for me and easy to say goodbye to it too.
Listen to the Full Episode:
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Full Episode Transcript:
Social media doesn't have to be the time suck, tear your hair out over what to write, desperately check for likes and engagement experience, that you might know. There are specific ways to use social media strategically, based on exactly where you are in business. And that will not only release the pressure, but focus your efforts. And, it might even let you enjoy it a lot more because you know you're only going to be there temporarily. What? Yes.
You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life, by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top ranked business coach and reformed overanalyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.
Welcome back to The Uncommon Way, how are you doing? Are you in full resolution swing, getting everything organized and making plans for the year? I am. My word for this year is “luxuriate”. Which is actually, a growth edge for me. Constraining my work hours and allowing myself to slow down, and just experience more pleasure.
So, I'm very proud of the work I've done over the past years to create this business. But at this level, honestly, I can live comfortably for the rest of my life. And I know I'm gonna keep making more, so I've just been having this conversation with myself where I'm like; now is the time. Now's the time to get really good at luxuriating. To give my future self that skill set.
I'm also journaling, and I'm looking at my schedule and plans for the year, specifically like when I'll be traveling for conferences and masterminds. And I'm actually playing with the idea of hosting an in-person retreat for the Clarity Collective. This is the first time my clients are hearing about this, by the way. So, everyone, let's talk about it on our next call.
I've also been planning my big trip for the year, I mentioned that an episode or two ago. The trip always happens in summer or early fall, and we always go to the Mediterranean. So, for those of you who are new here, I've committed to taking my now five-year-old son, Dylan, for a month abroad each year.
And since the Mediterranean is where my heart lies, and he's still little, right? And he's not quite ready for more adventure and more realism, let's say, however you want to think about it. So, we keep going back to the Med.
Plus, we're looking for places to retire. They retire young in the military, and my husband will be retiring next year. That's so crazy. Now that we moved into 2023, we can actually say he's retiring next year. And y'all, for somebody like me, who just has mad wanderlust, all the time, to have been with him for this many years and have the government telling us where we're going to live...
I mean, that just feels like… I mean, it's pure liberation. It's so fun and exciting for me. It's a little nerve wracking for him, he's really never experienced the weight of possibility, let's say. But it's all going to shake out beautifully, I know.
So, this year, we chose Spain. We're booked in for Mallorca, in July. And we'll be staying half the time in this beautiful big house in the country. And lots of our friends have already said they're coming, too, which will be so fun. And then, we'll spend half the time in Palma. And, I am beyond excited.
I was there before, back when I lived in the Balearic Islands, but it was a long time ago. And, I don't think I really toured the island much. But everything I've been reading about it now, there are these cool, hip co-working spaces in this cosmopolitan city. It has a very active airport. Plus, you can get out into the countryside really quickly. Plus, there are beaches, plus mountains. And, Spain is supposedly rolling out a new digital nomad visa. Uh-huh. So, I think this might be my place, you guys. We’ll see.
Ben is much more sober about everything; always. He's like, good first impressions. We'll see. So, we'll see. Right? I'll keep you posted. And maybe in a couple of years I'll be hosting mastermind retreats there, and you can come visit my little paradise. Who knows?
In other news, lots of you have been telling me that you really enjoyed hearing from my friends, that have been coming on the show. And enjoyed hearing about their Clarity journeys, and their time in the Accelerator. I am so glad.
It has always been such a game changer for me to hear from peers and mentors, too. And, I do have one more person that I want to bring on to complete that series. She's a seven-figure earner, and we'll be talking about women and wealth and money mindset. So, really good stuff we can all use.
But in this episode, I'm bringing us back to the topic of social media. So, in Episode 23, we talked about why you don't need social media in your business. And I tease that there are also reasons to absolutely want to use it. And I said I'd create a future episode to show you how to use it really purposefully and effectively. So, I wanted to follow up on that promise.
Ah, where to begin? Social media: oh, my gosh, some of us love it, some of us hate it. And some of us just shrug our shoulders and say, “Well, it's here to stay, so I better be on it.” Some of us love it, and would never leave. But we just wish it was working a little better for us, and wasn't so time consuming. And others of us are like, “I would kill to not have to be on social.”
Well, no matter which camp you belong to, this episode is for you. I'm sharing how to use social media in a targeted, strategic way, so that you know, once you've met your objective, you can opt out fully satisfied. And of course, come back again, as your business needs change. Or, just roll right into the next phase, if you're loving it.
By the end of today's show, I'm going to have you questioning whether you really want to keep your current way of thinking about social media. And I'll show you a very simple way to evaluate whether or not how you're thinking about it now, is actually working for you. Is it really serving you or not? And I'll share the process I used with social media that made it so effective for me, and made it so easy for me to say goodbye to it, too.
Okay, let's first talk about how to evaluate if your current thinking is actually working for you. I want you to take a second to think through and answer the question I'm about to ask you. Hopefully, you'll be able to do it in one concise sentence, if possible. And, don't give the soundbite answer, okay? You're in total privacy right now, give the true, candid answer. Just tell it like it is.
Here's the question: If you're using social media in your business, why? What's your actual reason? Out of all the marketing channels in the world that you could choose, why social? Okay, pause this if you need to, so you can get really clear on this.
Now, thinking about that sentence you just came up with, now that you know what's driving your actions, how does that make you feel? What are you feeling in your body? Is it feeling heavy? Is it feeling shut down? Is it feeling open and light? What's the actual sensation in your body?
If it feels really good, great; proceed to the next step. But if it's feeling a little heavy, or negative, I guarantee it's not bringing the best results; you're capable of something much better. And I can prove it's not bringing you the best results. If you want to, go back and listen to Episode 22 on “The Model: How Your Thoughts Affect Your Life.”
But I think most of us, and especially all of us coaches, would agree that when we're feeling less than optimal, there's no way that we're going to show up optimally.
Next, check in with this; how likely is it that my future-self thinks about social media in this way, too? Because even if how we're thinking about something makes us feel good, or at least neutral, sometimes that good is really just safe or comfortable. And safe or comfortable, don't always lead to growth. Sometimes they do, but not always.
So, how does your future-self think about social? You want to be practicing and working towards thoughts of your future-self because she has the results you want, right? She lives the feelings you want. And all of that is available to you, sooner rather than later.
And lastly, is that thought or motivation bringing you the results you want? Results might be clients, but they might be something else. If not, then it's worth questioning the thoughts again. If you now feel like your current thoughts are really serving you, great. You still might love the perspective I'm about to share, about how to think about the strategic use of social media at different times in your business.
But if the thoughts aren't serving you, I'm gonna dismantle some of the more common ones that I see, so that it'll be easier to clear them out.
Here are four of the main ones that I hear from entrepreneurs, at all income levels, by the way. Are you ready? The first one is: It's the only way, or it's just the way it is. First of all, whenever you find this thought about anything, come on over to The Uncommon Way, and we'll get you straightened out.
Because this is never going to be a helpful thought. That's the kind of thought you just need to strike from your brain; zero tolerance. But if this is your first episode here, and your mind is just going blank on any other possibility other than social media, go back and listen to that Episode 23, which is titled “How to Run a Business Without Social Media.”
The line of thinking that says being on social media is the only way to find clients nowadays, is the biggest misconception I see in business today. People that are just starting out, all the way through seven-figure earners, fall victim to this thoroughly disempowering line of thinking.
So, if you're there, it's not just you, but it is reflecting a type of thinking that's not serving you. It's also giving power to the platform, rather than to what you're expressing through the vehicle of the platform. The common denominator should be you, period. You create your clients. You create results. Never the platform. If the platform goes away, you're still hitting your goals.
If I had $1 for every time someone earning over six figures, has heard about my business model and said, “Oh, you're so lucky. I would give anything to be off social. I just hate it.” And kind of frequently, these are the same people who are saying publicly, “I just love interacting with my community and talking to you all in the DM. So, hit me up.” But apparently, not deep down.
It's like there's some script that everyone is supposed to repeat or something. Like the movie Mean Girls, where Lindsay Lohan’s parents were anthropologists in Africa; you remember this? So, when she comes back to the States, she can't help but view all this high school behavior through that lens. Remember? There's that part of the mall, and she's thinking, “Oh, my gosh. This is just like the animals at the watering hole in Africa.”
I can't help but think that way, sometimes. Like, I'm sitting back and looking at our modern culture like an anthropologist, going, “This is an interesting norm. Everyone seems to be engaging in this.” Now, obviously, there are a million ways that I conform to my culture, too.
So, I'm not throwing stones. Or, I shouldn't throw… I guess I was throwing stones, wasn’t I? And, I shouldn't throw stones. I think this one just jumps out at me more because I'm not immersed in social media. So, it's easier for me to see it.
But this is a thought that we want to weed out, that we just have to be doing something that we don't want to do. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why, in 2023, are women still going through the motions and recreating patterns that never served our parents either? Why is society doing this?
We have so much individual choice available to us. And I just want to give a gentle reminder, that how we do one thing is often how we do everything. If we have a practiced thought, meaning one that your brain is used to thinking. That it defaults to, over and over. That it's worth asking; where else in my life is that thought showing up? What else am I tolerating?
And, let’s be clear with ourselves. I'm tolerating it because of the thought, “It's the only way. This is just the way things are.” And not, because that's actual truth. We think those thoughts are helpful, right? That they show we’re adulting or we're resilient or we’re pragmatic; lies, lies, lies, lies. They are a disguised form of victimhood, and they deserve to be challenged as soon as we witness them.
Here's another thought I hear; everybody's doing it. This is an important variation on the ‘it's just the way it is,’ thought. So, if this is you, you tell me what energy it was really coming from. Because some people say, “It's the only way,” and mean, “I have to.” Which is what we just talked about. But what some people really mean is, “Everybody else is doing it. And therefore, I feel more comfortable there. I want to do it, too.”
It could be this need to be doing what everyone else is doing may be a FOMO, if you're not there. Or, just a desire to be part of the group. And that, rather than being driven by our conditioning and how we've been raised, it's driven by something very primal, right? Our human desire for conformity, and our fear of nonconformity.
If you're recognizing yourself in this, I recommend you check out Episode 4, “The Science of Nonconformity.” Because when we can step back and see this as a brain pattern, we can start to break free of it. And so, for this thought, I just want to say, “Not everyone's doing it. That's actually not true.”
Start asking your brain to give you examples of people and businesses that are not on social. I guarantee you'll find them. I wasn't, for two years, and still had a six-figure business. Tony Robbins wasn't on social media when he started out, because there wasn't social media.
One of my mentors, Brooke Castillo, wasn't on social either, and grew her business to what, 30-millionish? Until this summer, when she brought on her college age son and some of his friends to have some fun running her account.
Not everyone is on social, and it is safe to separate ourselves from the group. We’ll no longer be thrown out on the savanna to die. It doesn't mean we don't get triggered, right? We don't have that nervousness, that anxiety, that feeling when we're not where everyone else is, or we're not doing what everyone else is.
But these are things that we have the capacity to manage, thank God. And get on with living a life that actually makes sense, and reflects our unique desires.
Here's another thought, “This is how I prove I'm legit. No clients will work with me if I don't have a social media presence.” Just like it's very common to hear people say, “I need to have a website. People won't think I'm legit if I don't have a website.”
But whenever you have a thought that you think someone else is thinking, “They won't think I'm legit. They won't want to work with me,” it's almost always a projection of something you believe deep down. It's not that they think you need a social media presence to be legit, it's that you think you need a social media presence to be legit.
So, unless you're teaching people how to use Instagram, you don't need to use Instagram to be legit. But to be legit, you have to start believing that you're legit. And that is not something you just have to wait around for, like; I guess I'll feel legit someday. Or, I guess I'll feel legit, when I finally have 20 clients.
No, it's something that we can actively create, along with so many other positive beliefs and emotions. Now and then, it gets reflected in how you show up and the decisions you make. And, it definitely brings on more clients.
The final common thought I want to address is, “I need to be doing this because it takes years to nurture people. And I need to remain top-of-mind with hundreds of little touch-points all the time.” You can feel all the ‘shoulds’ in there, right? “Should” is just a crappy place to create from.
But also, why not let yourself believe that clients are ready to go, right now? They don't need lots of nurturing and hand holding. Think about how it will be to work with the people that don't need lots of nurturing and hand holding. I coach people who are unclear and undecided about something. And yet, they are still able to make the decision very quickly, about whether or not they'll work with me.
So, if your brain is going to, “My people need nurturing,” think again. Know that like and trust can be created very quickly. But you have to believe it can. It doesn't have to, there's nothing wrong with nurturing people. But you're really limiting yourself if you're assuming that's how everyone works.
So, watch yourself to see how the thought, “It will take time,” is playing out for you. Chances are, you're making it all take longer than necessary. Maybe, you're holding back on your calls to action. Maybe, you're stretching out your goals, rather than going after what you want, right now.
Now, these kinds of things, they don't jump right out at us or we wouldn't be doing them. This is why we get coaches, to see the things we can't see. But you can start looking for it yourself. You just need to do some sleuthing. If this thought is yours, then I definitely recommend you take some time, after this episode, to really journal down all the ways that your lens of ‘things taking time’ is creating things taking longer than necessary, for you.
Okay, so if you've been listening to this and thinking, “Alright, clearly some of my thoughts have not been serving me. What should I be thinking instead?” I am going to share some different ways of thinking about social at the end of this episode.
And right now, as I'm talking about the strategic use of social media throughout the life of your business at different points, you're also going to pick up some different thoughts and reframes that may be helpful to you. But I really want to stress here, that there's no one way that you should be thinking about social, or anything in your business.
All you really need to care about, is how does this thought make me feel? This way of thinking, how does it feel in my body? Does it lead to the kind of actions, in the way that I'm showing up, that bring the results that I want, in my particular business?
And so, a thought that works for me may not work for you, and vice versa. This is what I help my clients do. We need to find the mindset and the way of thinking, and the strategies and the tactics, that create their unique results, and really bring their particular business to the next level.
I just encourage you as you're listening to all of this, any thought you hear, use that as a springboard for yourself. Try it on, or let it be the one that leads you to the next thought, that actually does work for you. That initiates this trail of breadcrumbs that gets you where you need to go. So, take all of this and just make it your own, as with everything in life.
When you're early on in your business, I am a huge believer that your main objective is proof of concept; you need to make sure people will buy what you're offering, before you spend too much time on it. So, the most strategic use of your time at this point, isn't to be posting for a year or two in a, “Hey, get to know me, I'm so cool and friendly,” kind of way.
And, you're not there to teach a class either. That's great for retirees or trust fund babies who say, “I don't need any money. I just want to share what I've learned.” But you, my friend, are in business. So, you've got to figure out what leads to sales.
Many of the other actions that you might take on social media; like, relationship building, or trying to position yourself through visual branding, and taking time to make sure everything looks very glossy, and meticulously dissecting the posts of every successful coach out there. Those sound good, but they’re ways your brain avoids doing scary things.
Just think about it; which is easier for your brain? To kind of develop this girlfriend relationship with somebody that you meet on social, and then hope that she refers someone to you when she finds out what you do? Or, is it saying to a human being, “Hey, I can help you. Do you want to work with me?”
Of course, the first one's easier, right? So, of course, your brain will help you gravitate towards those kinds of activities. And, this is another reason why coaching is so powerful. Because there's a place where someone can say, “Let's think about this. Is this really the way you want to be utilizing your time?”
And of course, we don't recognize it in the moment, because our brain is giving us the perfect logical reason. I've often said that one of the most destructive thoughts in my business, one of the thoughts that really keeps me from up-leveling is, “I'll just do this first.” My brain knows me so well. How can I argue with that? “I'll just do this first,” right?
“If I just do this first, it'll really clear up my mental bandwidth. So, I can focus on this important thing.” And yet, I don't. I don't get to because other things happen. So now, whenever I hear that thought, I've learned to stop and reconsider my next course of action.
Now, there is nothing wrong with any of those things that I just mentioned. But that's what you do in your extra spare time, right? After you've completed your main objectives, and your client getting activities for the day. Lots of new entrepreneurs say they're working so hard on their business, but really, they're on Canva. And they're consuming webinars constantly, and hanging out on social, and not really doing anything.
If you were focusing that time instead, on productive activities, you'd move forward a lot faster. But your brain is really in-it-to-win-it, at this point. It's very sure it needs to keep you safe from this harebrained idea you've come up with. Like, putting yourself out there and calling yourself an expert and taking money from people who will rely on you to help them.
It has a big investment in making sure you don't do that. So, you're gonna have to get very clear about what you will and won't be doing, and set some boundaries and practice discipline. I could do a whole podcast on how to reduce time on social media.
I came up with a whole system when I was on social, and I was also nursing an infant, and working naptimes and evenings. I didn't have a lot of time to spare. Yet, I was posting on my Facebook page, in Facebook groups, in my own Facebook group that I had on YouTube. I remember I was repurposing all of it into blog posts, as well. So, let me know in the reviews if you want to hear more about that.
But here's something tactical that you can take away, right now. Go on social three times a day. Set a 15-minute alarm for each of those times. And once a day, post the second time. Answer any comments, or, you know, any engagement that's happened on your post. And then the third time, look at other people's posts and comment on their posts.
If you're spending more than 45 minutes a day on social, that means you're not spending enough time on the other things you should be spending your time on. So, what you're really looking to do, at this point in your business, is test your content. Test your messaging, and see what moves people into a sale.
And that means you're going to be having to create targeted sales messaging with effective calls to action. Maybe, with mini offers, with effective storytelling. And I can feel some of you bristling through the airwaves, right now, right? “Oh, but I don't want to be salesy. I need to kind of date these people first, and then I can slip in the offer.”
But to me, that actually sounds inauthentic. I don't want to date someone like that. I want someone who straight-up; straight-up does not have to mean manipulative. It doesn't have to mean hammering out a sales offer, over and over and over, in the same way so that people just tune out.
But it does mean you're getting very targeted about what you want to achieve from each post. And it means moving into a more direct, get-to-the-point energy. You want to see what moves people. And, you can do that in so many ways.
I remember a post I did that brought on a new client. And it was just me telling the story of my dad. So, it was a brand story. It was very heartfelt. It was about growing up and watching how much he loved his profession. He was a Navy pilot, and how it was just so much of his identity and so much of his joy. He couldn't even imagine doing anything else.
There was a period, of course, my decades of not knowing what I wanted to do. And, it caused me such suffering. He would say things like, “I just want to see you happy. I just wish you could be happy.” And I had to tell him finally, one day… I think when he specifically said, “Why can't you just be happy?” And I said, “Dad, it's because of you. Having seen how you live your life; I refuse to settle for anything less.”
Now, that was just a story. It was not a hard-sale type of post. But I was very specifically testing to see whether that story resonated with people. And, I don't remember how long after that, but when someone got on the phone, she told me that is the post that made her decide to book the call.
The brand stories can be very sales oriented, and so can thought leadership. One of my first podcast episodes is called “The Decision Tree.” And I, just last month, signed a client who said she went back, right when she saw it landed on my web page, and then decided to check out my podcast.
She listened to that one, and it compelled her to get on the phone with me. But guess what? I knew that would resonate with people, because I first put out that content on a Facebook Live, like years ago. And, I got tons of positive feedback.
And then, a year or so later, a woman happened to see that Facebook Live, she went back through my videos, and she signed up for a call and became a client. So, I know, for sure, I've made $50,000 off that one bit of thought leadership. Who knows how many other people it has brought into my sphere, that just never mentioned it to me specifically?
But that was a very effective sales messaging, that wasn't salesy or manipulative. It was very high value. So, when you're using social in this way, you're in a very curious and enthusiastic place. This is the place where I'm testing content. And, I want to test content here, because it's an amazingly fast and cheap way to test my content.
You can do it quickly with ads, too. But it costs a lot of money. Or, you can do it cheaply with other methods like; networking, or SEO, or whatever. But that won't give you this combination of volume, of people, plus speed of delivery.
Social media has a lot of benefits for us. And thinking of it in this way was a lifesaver for me. It really kept me out of the; this isn't working. Why isn't anyone liking my posts? Why didn't this lead to a client? When am I ever going to get a client?
When you're thinking, “I'm excited to test this content. What, specifically, am I testing here? What, specifically, did I learn?” It just relieved all that pressure to sell. Specifically, I wasn't thinking about selling. I was thinking about what was moving people along their buyers’ journey. It took a lot of the pressure off being perfect, because I didn't expect every post to land.
And, it really helped me think big picture. I'm trying new things. I'm practicing how I talk about the things I talk about. That is so necessary in the beginning; is to just hear yourself saying the words over and over. Try the words in different ways. This is why so many of you have created what, 50,000 versions of your “I Help” statement?
I've so been there. And I do it myself, too. It's because this is how our brain is processing and thinking. And I mean, how often have you gone back and looked in your journals and been like; damn, that was pretty good. Right? Because it's all there. The clarity is there. This is just creating comfort for our brains.
And so, as we do this more and more, it's creating more and more comfort, and more and more facility in articulating what we do. If you need help with this, I really recommend that you download a freebie on my homepage. It's the third one down, it's called, “Write Your Way to Clarity.” I think, or the second one down. Anyway, it's called “Write Your Way to Clarity.” It's completely free.
Go ahead and get that. It's basically seven prompts for social media, that will give you a theme for writing each day. And, help you clarify what you are actually wanting to say and to clear up any misconceptions. This is not about getting likes or comments, but sales.
People telling you words, “Hey, this was compelling for me.” Many of the posts, and they were Facebook posts back in the day, but most of the clients that came through specific posts, they never liked or commented on that post; they were too busy booking a sales call.
And it's also very helpful to be thinking, “This is a tool for my growth. This is how I'm practicing being visible. This is how I'm practicing calling myself an expert. And, being a human while I do it. Calling myself an expert, in a human way. This is about me setting boundaries around my time.”
“Managing my mind around all the negative thoughts that might come up, as I look at others who seem to be doing better than me. As I deal with the FOMO from seeing so many people selling all different things. And make me want to buy this one and this one and this one.”
But the truth is, you probably don't need that. Whatever that is in your business, right now. Right? You need the foundational pieces. And all that distraction keeps you from doing the real work that you need to be doing. So, you see how everything has a reason.
You're not just posting because you have no other options. Like, this is what you have to do on social and you do it for long enough, and then people start buying. Know, every time you post or go on social, there's a reason, you're testing something, you're learning something. So, it's always a win; always, always a win.
What is it that people need to believe and understand about me, about my offer, that makes them excited to book a call? That makes them excited to take the next step? Once you create that kind of clarity and certainty for yourself, it is a game changer.
Because as we move into the next phase of business, if you follow my Clarity First formula, which is actually the first opt-in on my homepage, what we're doing in business is we're very quickly creating proof of concept. We're testing what exactly moves our people towards a sale, and how to facilitate that process.
And then, once we have that information, we're using that to create our assets; our static assets, our web pages, our lead magnets, our blog pages, whatever we choose for our specific business. And then, in the third phase, we're just driving eyeballs to those assets.
Now, there may be nurturing involved in that stage. But that is not the objective that we set out to do. And, this is a very important difference. If you're thinking, “I want to nurture people,” you're going to create people that need to be nurtured.
It's very helpful to assume that people will want to take action immediately, and to do what you can to shorten their buyers’ journey. And that is what you're doing with your nurture sequence, and with the right opt-in, and making sure you're drawing in the right people. All the clarity work you did in the first phase, it's so that you're not going to be nurturing people forever and ever.
Again, if you do, that's fine. But people that need to be nurtured are not necessarily going to be your best clients. They may have a lot of hesitancy, a lot of self-doubt. They may frequently let other things in their life get in the way of their progress and of taking action.
Whenever I speak with people, I always ask them, even if they've taken the initiative to get on the call with me, I want to make sure that they're really going to be successful in my program. I'm asking them questions like; what else in your life might bump this from your priority, right now?
Is there anything coming up that may make you say, let me just do this, after this other thing is done? I'll ask; what will happen if three to six months go by and you still haven't solved this?
It's because I want to see where they lie in their motivation. I want to know, has their brain created enough pain and discomfort around where they are? Has it brought that far enough into a conscious level? And has it created enough desire and determination to get to something different? Does it have enough of those two things to override the very strong efficiency factor?
The phenomena of our brain that says, “I would really rather just stay with the devil I know, rather than experience anything different.” The one that says, “I'm willing to not move my business forward, so that I don't have to feel the discomfort of doing X.” “I'm prioritizing the comfort of my feelings, higher than the dreams that I want to achieve.”
And people in that place may not be your best clients. Doesn't mean that they're going to be there forever. These are not fixed personality traits, right? We learn to become more decisive, we learn to value our dreams, more and more. Through our thoughts we create that new way of thinking for ourselves.
But it's usually not a black-and-white switch. And so, someone that has been in that place for a while, when they're sufficiently nurtured to the point that they're going to say yes to you, they've just reached that threshold. And as we know, thoughts just don't go away.
They're practiced thoughts; they will be coming back again. So, when you're in the second phase of creating your static assets, you're speaking to and always thinking about people that are absolutely ready to take action now. Because, why not?
Because you and that person are a perfect fit. You've created this unique one-of-a-kind offer. You know exactly the value you're bringing to the table, and your secret sauce. You know exactly who you're calling in, and you know that this person fits those parameters. And it's just a hell yes, all around.
And so, from that place, as you're moving into the next phase in your business, you're bringing eyeballs to those assets. And at that point, then yes, you really are just trying to get as many eyeballs as you can. And so, you'll probably have a team by that point. Networking and partnerships can be very powerful for you.
It's worth devoting some of your time and/or budget to doing some things that the algorithm likes, just to get in front of people you've never been in front of before. And to create a place where people who are on that platform, can come over and take a look when they first know of you and become interested. Maybe, they heard you on a podcast or something, and now you're just basically creating another storefront for them. Another store window for them to come in and see.
That's really the one I use, “That this is another store window for me.” I am absolutely not there to get likes or engagement, right now. Not that I mind them, of course. But it's really so that when someone hops onto Instagram, if they're an Instagram kind of person, and that is the first place they tend to look to check out a new coach, they'll see a body of my work. They can click through and get a feeling for whether or not we're a fit. So, that they can say, “I just had this feeling you might be the coach for me.”
With that kind of mindset, you want to make very sure that when people scroll down your feed, they know what you're talking about. You're not just going to have random pictures, you're going to have some sort of text that tells them what that reel is about, or what that post is about. So, they can decide if they want to read more. If you do have a picture, you want to make sure it's pretty engaging, so that they're curious and want to click on it.
But you might also choose not to be on social media at this time. You may choose to be driving eyeballs through Facebook ads, through podcasting, through speaking engagements. The world is your oyster. If you want to, fine. But you don't have to.
And then, there's another stage of business that is not in the Clarity First training that I have on my website, but that I'm really feeling into now. And I don't know if other coaches experience this, but it's really a form of altruism.
When you think of Maslow's hierarchy, my immediate needs are taken care of now with my business. When it comes to prioritizing my time, I've used it to understand my people, create these assets, I have enough eyeballs coming in that I'm booking out my coaching practice. And so, my priorities are really shifting into, how can I get this information out to more and more women?
I had a client ask me, she said, “It seems like you're giving away a lot of information on the podcast that isn't necessarily what you advise us to do in the beginning of our businesses.” I told her, “I am creating value and content for people that I will never work with.”
Another way to think of this, is the clients that are going to come to you the easiest are the low hanging fruit. And then, there's fruit that's further and further and further up on the tree. The fruit that's so high, that's way beyond your ladder, that's hard to reach. You're probably never going to work with them.
And so, in an earlier point in your business, you're just prioritizing the low hanging fruit. Where you don't have the investment yet to get the ladder. You can't buy the ladder to get up to the higher fruit. You don't have the time or the money to do that. And therefore, it makes the most sense that you're focusing on the low hanging fruit that you can reach just with your bare hands.
But now, I'm wanting to reach those people, like I said, that I'll probably never touch face-to-face; that I'll never actually work with. And I want them to get this information. I want to change their lives. I want them to know that there's a better, easier way. That it's absolutely possible to get clear. That our clarity is within.
And I'm just expressing this to you, as I'm in it. So, I'll probably know a lot more about this in a year, but right now, it really feels to me that energetically, it is my time to spread my message far and wide. And help initiate a ripple effect that I will potentially never see firsthand, but I'll feel energetically. And, this podcast and social media are tools for doing that.
So, let's wrap up with some potentially helpful thoughts about social media, if you are choosing to use it. Because remember, you don't have to. But maybe after this podcast, now that you're thinking about it, or at least thinking about what you're currently doing in a different way.
So, rather than thinking we have to be on social media, there's no other way, we could be thinking, “It's an amazing opportunity that we didn't used to have in business.” Your business isn't reliant on renting the premium corner on Main Street, and waiting for people to walk by. Maybe, taking out an ad in the local paper.
No, this is the internet; you can connect with people on different continents, in the blink of an eye. I may get blowback on this, but Louis CK had a comedy hit before he fell into disgrace, called Everything's Amazing and Nobody is Happy; you can still look it up. But of course, you wouldn't because of what we know about him; except, that maybe you will.
But you don't have to, because I'm just gonna tell you. He's talking about all the little ways we get frustrated over things that are actually mind bogglingly amazing. Like, he's sitting next to someone on a plane and they make an announcement that the Wi-Fi is down on the plane. And the person next to him was like, “Oh, man. Oh, God,” making such a thing about it.
And he's just thinking to himself, “We are able to travel across the continent in a few hours, in acclimatized conditions.” Right? Comparing it back to the age of the buggies that would take months rolling across America, and facing such hardship. And, we're complaining because we don't have Wi-Fi at that moment. So, the internet is amazing. And, social media is the internet on steroids.
It is a great opportunity, but there are a lot of other great opportunities, too. It's just the one you're choosing, or the one you're not choosing. So, you've already heard my thoughts that this is a storefront, right? And this is a way for me to extend my energetic ripple effect.
But I surveyed some friends of mine, who are successful coaches. They love social media and they're using it effectively. Because I wanted to get their thoughts, too. And I've been listening to some of my clients who use it really effectively, too.
I just want to share some of their thoughts with you. So, one is, “I just go where my people are, that's where they hang out the most. And I'm all-in. Wherever they go, I'll go.” She's not spending a lot of time thinking about, “I don't want to be on social media. I do hear the pros and cons, and this is why it's so terrible.” She's just like, “Well, that's where my people are. They spend most of their time on Instagram. I want to be on Instagram. I'll be wherever they are.”
Someone else, told me they really love that type of content. They love the kind of short, lively, a little moment in time. She said, “I, personally, like it. And, my clients really enjoy it, too. So, I want to be able to give to my clients what I, myself, enjoy.”
I've heard that some really like the visual aspect of it, of Instagram, specifically. And they really had fun putting that together and doing all the little techie things of like, the reels. And that visual creativity component can be really high on, maybe Instagram or YouTube. And they wouldn't be fulfilled in their business, if they didn't have that particular form of expression.
But listen, your business should be made up of things you want to do, right? This is your life. How do you want to spend it? Let it thrill you. Let every bit of it reflect you and your desires and your priorities. This is about a lot more than just giving yourself permission to choose a better use of your time, though that is important.
And, it's about more than just believing in your powers to attract clients from any and all places. Though, that's important, too. And it's even about more than having such clarity; on yourself, your people, your offer, and your messaging; that you can be successful anywhere. Though, that's wildly important.
But this is really about you realizing that you are a true force of nature. Where you understand your power to shape your reality, and get back exactly what you want. Rather than having to make do with what you see in the world, right now. That, as you lend your creative focus, completely different circumstances will start to appear in your environment.
And I have a very strong feeling that deep down, you want that. You want that like, yesterday. Nobody who seeing clearly says, “No, I don't want to experience my power just yet. I don't really want to have the life I want.”
So seriously, look at your phone, click the link in the episode summary to book a call with me, and we'll get you into the Clarity Accelerator as fast as possible. Let's create an offer and messaging for you that's so strong you can pick and choose. You can choose where you want your clients to come from. And then, let's clean up the stuff in your mind that's kept you from creating that life you know you're here to create.
Alright, everyone, remember, deep down, you know who you are. And, you know how powerful you are. Each day you're stepping further into what you are here to create.
Hey, if you're a coach who wants true clarity about your secret sauce, your people, your best way of doing business, and how you talk about your offer, then I invite you to join us in the Clarity Accelerator.
I'll teach you to connect all the dots; the dots that have always been there for you. So that you can show up like you were born for exactly this. Come join us and supercharge every other tool or tactic you'll ever learn, from Facebook ads to manifestation. Just go to TheUncommonWay.com/schedule and set up a time to talk. I can't wait to be your coach.
Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity First Strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.
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Ep #26: Becoming the 7-Figure CEO with Kat Haugh
We all have the power to create what we want, and Kat Haugh is a perfect example of this. She has done the work and undergone an incredible transformation in such a short time, and she joins me this week to share her wisdom on becoming the CEO of a 7-figure business so that you can implement what she’s learned to accelerate your journey. Kat has a unique way of thinking about business and is sharing her thoughts for you to adopt in order to create what you want in your life.
Episode Summary
Kat Haugh joins Jenna this week to share a new way to think about business and the parts of her mindset that have allowed her to grow to multiple 6-figures in just two years.
Get clear on what you offer to whom and how to talk about it … plus actually believe it. Join us in the Clarity Accelerator by scheduling a call here.
Enjoy the show? Leave a review to help other likeminded entrepreneurs gain clarity in their businesses.
If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.
Show Notes
Are you at the point where you know there’s a new evolution of you in your business that wants to be birthed, but you’re not quite clear on what that would actually look like? Where, even when you’re not talking about your business, you’re thinking about it, and not in a good way? If this resonates with you, you will love today’s conversation because that was the exact story experienced by this week’s guest.
We all have the power to create what we want, and Kat Haugh is a perfect example of this. She has done the work and undergone an incredible transformation in such a short time, and she joins me this week to share her wisdom on becoming the CEO of a 7-figure business so that you can implement what she’s learned to accelerate your journey. Kat has a unique way of thinking about business and is sharing her thoughts for you to adopt in order to create what you want in your life.
Join us this week as we dive deeper into how our unconscious needs and beliefs cause us to do things that don’t serve us and how fuelled Kat is by fulfilling her purpose. Kat shares how she learned to move through limiting beliefs in her business and the parts of her mindset that have allowed her to grow to multiple 6-figures in just two years.
What You’ll Learn From This Episode:
How Kat learned to step into the self-concept of being the CEO of a 7-figure business.
The importance of paying attention to what’s really going on in your business.
Why tending to your inner world will enable more to come to you in your outer world.
The concept of Magic Dark and how it can help you in your evolution and growth.
What Kat has learned from working with Jenna and how she is putting it into practice.
How Kat learned to give herself permission to communicate.
The difference between the coaching experience and simply listening to podcasts.
How Kat used to be petrified to say no to clients and prospective clients, and how she changed this.
Listen to the Full Episode:
Featured on the Show:
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Full Episode Transcript:
Are you at the point where you know there's a new evolution of you and your business that wants to be birthed, but you're not quite clear on what that would actually look like? And while it's nice to be able to talk to your partner about it, and about the day-to-days of business, too, you know you need to put a cap on it, because you don't always want to be talking business with your partner. And your partner, sure as hell, doesn't always want to be talking about your business either.
And even when you're not talking about business, you're thinking about business, and not in a good way. Maybe, you're rehashing that conversation you had with a contractor. Or, you're second guessing taking on that client. Or, you're gaming out exactly how to say or do something to get the best effect.
If you can relate to any of that, you're going to love today's conversation with my client, Kat Haugh, because that was her story, too.
You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life, by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top ranked business coach and reformed overanalyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.
Jenna Harrison: Hey, welcome back to The Uncommon Way. How are you? How are you, really? This episode is dropping the week after the new year. And, this is a time that can bring up lots of emotions. We're assessing our ‘22 business, we're thinking about the year ahead. A lot of us have had a lot going on with kids out of school and family visits, and everything that brings up.
For me, up until a few days ago, I was in a place where everything's going right in my life, in the grand scheme of things. And I have so much to be thankful for, and yet have a very loud part of my brain was convinced that everything is wrong. Which, brains will speak up about that from time to time, right?
I was observing it and seeing it turn a circumstance, like us having a pipe freeze and start leaking on Christmas Eve; luckily, we had no damage to personal property. But I watched my brain translate that into sentences like, “We can't catch a break. God obviously does not want me to sleep.” Very victimy.
I just want to suggest, for whatever's been coming up for you and for me, too, that we just take a beat and let it all be there. Whatever gets generated, positive and negative. So, you might feel on fire with resolutions or plans for this year. Or, you might be feeling heavy and tired. Or, you might be feeling more of like a limbo. Whatever it is, this is typically a time of transition.
And as ambitious women, we can tend to rush through and overlook our transitions. But there's so much wisdom if we can step back a little. Especially when we observe our inner world from this curious, interested place. So, let's just observe wherever we are. Let's be okay with it, and see what it's like to feel that, right?
Because as we build that capacity in our bodies, with that emotion and any other, they cease to rule us like they used to. We don't have to go out of our way to avoid them. And if you want some instruction on how to be with those emotions, listen to the episode called “The Number One Skill for Entrepreneurship”. We'll link to it in the show notes.
Oh, and actually, another good one. This is for those of you who are tempted to bypass the positive emotions that come with your accomplishments and blessings in 2022. You should check out the one called “Learning to Receive”.
Alright, before we move on, I have to let you know that my husband got me the most amazing espresso machine for Christmas. It is so stylish; it's just amazing to look at. It’s super small; it's so cute. I don't like to accumulate a bunch of stuff, let alone big stuff.
I mean, I'm the girl who wants to be free to just move to Europe whenever we want, without the headache of wondering what to do with the huge house that we bought to put all of our stuff into. So, this is just perfect. But also, it makes the best cup of coffee. It's ‘coffee house’ level coffee. Oh, wow. It is so, so good. I just wanted to pass that on. The brand is Casabrew. Okay, just had to share.
I have a special guest for you today. Katherine Haugh here; she goes by Kat. We're continuing the series where you get to hear about the clarity evolution of some of my clients, so you can accelerate your own journey. You get to learn their juicy thoughts and perspectives, and decide if you want to make them yours.
Of course, this is what we do inside the Clarity Collective all the time. And for those of you who are new here, the Clarity Collective is the larger group comprised of Clarity Accelerator clients and private clients. We all get together and we workshop together, and we share wisdom in a mastermind.
I came to the conclusion that the greatest gift I could give you all, to thank you for coming in on the ground floor of this podcast, was to help you experience a little of that and to build belief and absorb the wisdom of your peers. It is so powerful to realize someone has just expressed a belief that you have too, but you never even realized you had it. And then, hear how they worked through it.
That is just priceless information. It saves you so much time and frustration. And to have someone normalize your fears, that's priceless, too. And to hear what's ahead for you, so that you're not surprised when you get there. And most importantly, to help you see the evidence, and therefore build your own belief more easily that this is totally available to you, too.
I spent decades thinking that the kind of clarity and deep knowingness that I longed for was something elusive, right? And I just had to wait to have this blinding lightbulb moment that would change my life. Or, maybe I'd have to grind away for years and years to achieve it somehow.
Often, I internalized my confusion and uncertainty. And I told myself things like, “I'm just too indecisive. I don't know who I really am, and I can't get in touch with what I really want. Or, something's wrong with me that I overthink so much.” But if I had had someone say, “Oh, yeah, yeah, I used to be there, too. And now a few months later, I'm in such a different place. And all I really had to do to get here were a few key things. So, you're probably closer than you think.”
I mean, I can see in hindsight that so much of my clarity was already there, I just wasn't tapping into it or letting myself tap into it, and own it. I mean, if I'd had that, not only would that have been like giving water to someone dying of thirst in the desert, I would have been so grateful.
But I bet it would have relaxed my brain. And, it would have helped some of those clarity insights start surfacing earlier rather than later. It would have shown me that help is available, that I don't have to do it on my own. And that it's actually really smart to use my money to accelerate my timeline. Right? It's all right there for me, as soon as I decide to allow it in. So, those are some of the gifts that that I want to give you. I want to give you relief and hope.
Kat is such a great role model. You'll see how even very accomplished business women still have a lot of the same thoughts you do. And they still move through periods of uncertainty where it helps to get outside perspective. You'll see how our unconscious needs and beliefs can cause us to do things that don't really serve us; like work longer hours and waste lots of energy and brain loops, that keep us from really seeing and utilizing our own strengths and gifts.
She's going to share how she's been able to move through so much of this in a very short time, and what that actually looked like. And what I love. is that you're going to really see the parts of her mindset that have served her and allowed her to grow her business quickly, to multiple six figures in just a couple of years. I know this conversation will serve you, enjoy.
Hi, Kat, thanks for coming on.
Kat Haugh: Hi, Jenna. Thank you for having me.
Jenna: So, I thought we'd just dive in, like we always do. And if we could just hear from you what was going on in your business, and life, of course, before we met.
Kat: Yeah, that sounds great. So, I have been working as a freelancer for about a year. I had a full-time job always, and then kind of a side hustle for many years. And eventually that built up to quite a few contracts and opportunities, that I decided to take the plunge and start my own business.
And in doing so, I found myself in a position where I was having a lot of opportunities come my way, but struggling actually with feeling clear about what to say yes to and what to say no to, and what I really wanted to be doing. I had a couple of kind of challenging experiences, just professionally, that I found myself actually talking to my boyfriend a lot about.
Jenna: As we all do.
Kat: And I was like, “Oh my gosh,” you know, like in between calls going and running into the other room being like, “What do you think I should do?” And, he would be helping me. And then we kind of both were like, “Wow, this is really getting to a whole other level.”
Where he was kind of becoming like both my boyfriend and my advisor on work. And I found myself really needing to speak with somebody who could help me understand myself, and what decisions I need to make to get to clarity. Around, not just the life I want to live, but also how work fits into my life.
And so, that's when a divine force really brought me to you. Because I was like, ‘business coach, executive business coach for female entrepreneurs’, I was just googling around. And, you were one of the first profiles that I saw. Something just like, had me click on your page and send you a note. And then, we had our first call.
It felt very much like a divine intervention that connected us. So, that's in a nutshell, kind of what I was experiencing and what brought me to you.
Jenna: Yeah, yeah. I remember actually, now that you say that, I remember your words being magnetized. I just felt magnetized as I was reading it, and I was… You were already clicking the Schedule A Call; schedule a call. And I love that, because that is what we want to create for you, for everyone, is that kind of experience. That our clients build that kind of experience with us. That's so fun.
And weren't you also like, hadn't your boyfriend actually put a limit on work speak?
Kat: He did. We agreed to a 20-minute max, and we would actually like look at the clock and be like, okay, cool. And I would have to think like, okay, what's the most pressing? He would actually joke with me, like, “I'm gonna send you an invoice at the end of the week for the hours that I’ve spent, you know, advising you and your business.”
Jenna: You were in a big transition point in your business. You knew you were about to grow into something else, and there were a lot of questions coming up around that. Right? Can you talk about that?
Kat: Yeah. Absolutely, absolutely. So, my kind of main orientation in my work is, I would say, as a visual storyteller. That's, I think, what I'm most known for in my sector. I work generally, in like the social good sector, doing a specific kind of research and impact measurement. But the way that I approach that is through visual storytelling techniques.
That's really what kind of prompted my freelancing career and what people come to me for support with. And I started noticing, I think over this past year, in bits and pieces, that I felt my self-concept shifting. Where sometimes, I felt that people would come to me for visual storytelling support; they needed an animation or an illustration or graphic.
But really, what I offered them, which I felt like created the most value for them, is synthesizing content and helping them think or learn together differently. Or, starting to help them think through the strategic value of the information that I was helping bring to life visually.
And so, my understanding of myself as a professional kind of started to shift. And that's really, also what was happening at the time where contracts were coming to me and opportunities were coming to me, and I started to feel a bit confused about what my services are. Am I a visual storyteller? And this aspiration of wanting to become more of a strategy, partner strategist?
I think one of the things that we identified very early on, is kind of a reticence on my part to fully step into this next identity. Also, as a CEO and founder of my company. So, it was kind of like, freelance visual artist into CEO/founder/strategist. And even now, saying that, feels like wow, that really is a big jump.
Jenna: Yeah, yeah. And thought leader for the industry, as well. I think what I picked up from you, was that almost every time you were working with a client, you were, in the back of your head, thinking, “I could do so much more. I could be doing so much more. But what?” Like, “What am I actually going to say to them, about what I can do for them? What do I want to do for them?”
Kat: Yes, absolutely. I think I struggled also, with this feeling of if I became a strategist, this other person, then I would have to let go of this other big piece of my professional identity, of being a visual storyteller. And, that being a difficult thing for me to do. I remember even telling you, I don't know how to talk about the work that I do clearly, because I feel that I wear so many hats.
I have a research background, but I do visual storytelling and communications. But then, I do strategy and helping teams learn. And you were the one that pointed out to me, “Do you have to let these identities go? Like, is it in the creative mix of these different orientations where your strengths lie?”
And that made me feel really free in a way that I hadn't been before. I was like, wait, but now, I'm not going to be the visual storytelling person, I'm going to be the strategy person. And I had a hard time feeling limited in having to choose one professional identity.
Jenna: Yes, yes. Rather than approaching it from ‘I can do whatever I want to do’, and then create the clients around that. That feels so uncertain in the moment. Right? It feels so tenuous. Maybe, you're getting your hopes up? Could it be that good?
Kat: Yes, exactly. And I think on some level, even now, just thinking through this with you, I think on some level, I felt like oh, but if I really transition into this other role, there is a little bit of letting go. For example, if I'm not just doing the visual storytelling piece, I use that as a tool in strategy work, then, when people are coming to me for visual storytelling work, I would say no, actually, I do strategy. And, visual storytelling is a piece of that.
I think, on some level, I felt nervous actually, to really go forward with this new professional identity and step into that shift. Which would mean my circle of focus would kind of move, and I would no longer be saying yes to things that were falling in my lap.
Jenna: Yeah, you’d lose all of that business, and all of those clients. And then also, you were talking about kind of the fear of moving into that, but there was also a personal component, right? A fear of what that would mean for your personal life. Can you talk about that? Because I think so many of us can relate to this.
Kat: Yeah, yeah. And this kind of comes with a little bit of a story, because I've been thinking about this recently. I did this business retreat with one of my closest friends, that I told you about. And I remember, we went on this retreat, and we were like, “Let's spend some time in this beautiful beach little bungalow and sit, and like, look out at the sea, and like journal what we want our businesses and our lives to be.”
I spent quite a bit of time over those couple of days envisioning what I wanted my life to be like. I woke up in the morning, and I had fresh food in the fridge, from the market nearby. And there's music playing and this peaceful, beautiful life with this family, that I envisioned for myself. I fell in love with that vision, I was so happy with it.
And I think I struggled, at the time, to fit my life, my work life, into that vision. Because I was like, oh, and then I go upstairs and I do some work on the computer. And then, I come back downstairs, you know, and I'm back in my life. I remember at the time, I was like, this is odd, you know, to just feel like I had such a blank slate, when work, at the time even, was such a big part of my life. I couldn't reconcile the two, in bringing them together.
I think that connects, because something that I was struggling with when we first started working together, was this fear around stepping into this CEO/founder energy. Or, the strategist energy would somehow bring me to become somebody that I didn't like. I think that I, deep down, had these beliefs that being a CEO or being a business woman meant working all the time, feeling stressed. Maybe like, feeling kind of too in control, like having too much authority or demanding discipline or perfection from others.
I had all of these kind of thoughts below the surface kick up. Yeah, that really scared me. And I was particularly scared of the way that if I became this CEO, ubermensch woman, that I would then treat other people who would work with me poorly. That I would demand too much from them, or that I would basically experience myself really negatively.
I think I'm still trying to reconcile breaking down some of those thoughts around like, wait, you know, you can be a wonderfully compassionate but also direct, and kind CEO. And you can also, live with immense balance and have lots of beauty in your life. I think that's something I'm still trying to put the pieces together.
Because I think probably, what a lot of people would resonate with, it's this idea of working hard. Also, in my mind, I think still translates to working a lot. And I'm now trying to kind of retrain my brain also, around being an ambitious and passionate woman, and what that looks like for me as a leader within a team, or leading my own business.
Of still wanting to do that, in my own way; with humor and kindness and softness, and still experiencing a lot of success.
Jenna: Yeah, because I think what we haven't told the listeners yet, is that you're already at multi-six figures. And we both know that this business you're envisioning is a seven-figure business. And you are planning to bring on other people to be part of the collective. To provide this amazing work for this, you know, wonderful social good organizations.
And that, in your brain, will require so much change. You're going to go from this independent freelancer lifestyle into something that will probably be terrible and you will hate. It's always the competing vision. Right? And the fears.
Kat: Yeah, yeah. And I think it's a little bit like breaking down or challenging these dichotomies that have existed in my mind. Like, even being successful and earning a good income in the social goods sector is a dichotomy as well, in and of itself. That you can bring a business acumen, and, you know, be smart and offer incredible services. And earn a great income, while still doing good things for the planet, and the people that live on it, you know?
So, I feel like, in a lot of domains, a big part of the work that I'm doing mentally, is breaking down these dichotomies that I've been given, and also that I've believed in my life. That if you're a CEO, this is how it looks like. If you're making money, this is what it means. Or, you know, to live with balance also is a type of success and can mean that you're financially successful, as well.
And then, it's all possible. I think it’s like a big part of the mental journey.
Jenna: Yes, yes, absolutely. And we should also mention, we're not going to name any of your clients, but when the Kat talks about the social good sector, she's talking about foundations that are going out to create like philanthropic organizations. And places that are looking to create change in the world, on a social level. That could be through all different humanitarian programs, also environmental programs.
Anything you can think of where funds are being directed towards creating a new world, I would say, are the people she's working with. So, anything from a government organization to a wealthy individual, or a group of wealthy individuals, who have said, “Let's start directing our money in the ways that we want,” are her clients.
So, I think I'm bringing that up for a couple reasons. One, is so that, of course, people listening get a better understanding of what you do, and can think about if they know anyone that needs your services. But also, because when we were thinking about what do you want to do, then the next stage was, who are you actually talking to?
Is that potentially different than who you're talking to now, with the visual storytelling? And we started to see the answer was, yes.
Kat: Yeah, yeah, totally. And I think that is also something that has shifted for me, is that I can choose who I work with. That was actually revolutionary. I think as other folks who listen to your podcast who are freelancers, like I was in the mentality of more clients equals more success. And even in the past, I've had some experiences where I saw red flags, but I still had this billboard in my head that said, “More clients equal more success.”
I've never actually entertained the thought, oh, I don't have to work with this person. Or, even more, I can envision and detail the type of people who I would love to work with. Who would benefit the most from my services. Who we would have kind of like a symbiotic dynamic. And that I can call in those people and look for them, that was very revolutionary for me; it’s changing also, from a freelancer mindset.
Or, maybe it's a different kind of mindset, but that still feels incredibly freeing. And it takes more mental imagination than I thought it would, actually. Because I'm also somebody who really appreciates people a lot. I pride myself on being able to work with lots of different kinds of people. And to see when people can be challenging for others, and find a way to be like, oh, well, they're trying to express this, or I think this is what they're trying to say.
That's something I've always really admired about myself. And also, it takes a lot of energy to work with people who are not best matched for me, in this given moment. So, it's very cool and uplifting to think, who would be my ideal clients? And, what would they look like? And now, how can I envision them so that I'm calling them in, or paying attention for them out in the world?
Jenna: Yeah, yeah. It's so amazing to think that, A; we have the power to create what we want. And then, B; that we can actually, through our clarity, create something that is ideal for them, too. And, completely ideal for us. That will lead to a work environment that we absolutely love, and that doesn't feel so draining. Rather than taking on 50 of the smaller jobs, we could take on a fewer number of jobs that are actually fantastic for us.
Kat: Yeah, absolutely. I think it has something to do with different choices. Like you said, this one time in a podcast around wanting to be location independent. And then, I think there was something else around maybe, like time independence. There's also something… It's like about giving yourself permission to choose that you can choose who you work with.
I think that's also another kind of dichotomy. Because when you go to a 9-5 job, it's like, here are your colleagues, and you learn how to work well with others. And I think, when you're creating your own uncommon way, you can basically look out and say, who are the people for me, who I can best serve? You know, they need this or they're experiencing that, and I can speak to that.
And that's also a very different skill set and way of thinking about work, in terms of that's always, to me, seems to be something that was fixed; you work with who you work with, and you make the best of it, and you learn. And now, this is a different skill set. Like, how can you look out into the world and find people who would best fit with you? And you best fit with them?
Jenna: And be discerning. Yeah, you're absolutely right. Yeah. So, I think on the one hand, we see that if you have that mindset of, you need to work with whoever you need to work with, then your brain isn't going to start to ask the questions and think about what you do actually want. And, start calling in the people you do actually want. That makes such sense, right?
And so, I'm thinking about other ways where we can see this playing out in your story, so that people can start to see it in themselves, as well. Where, just because of the frame that we're looking at the world through, we're narrowing our possibilities substantially.
Kat: Yeah, absolutely. It’s like what you've said before, with setting uncommon goals, that actually, looking towards the past to set your goals for the future, is what we've been taught to do. But actually, is not the most helpful way to actually come up with really transformative goals.
And I find that, for myself a lot, that even with thinking, what do I really want to be doing? I feel the frame that I'm in, and I feel the kind of like pull towards like, this is good. You're here Kat. You know, no need to look beyond. This is familiar, we're comfortable here. We have no problems here.
But I can feel that it's a mental and emotional stretch to think beyond that frame, and to go to the kind of impossible landscape beyond the unknown. One thing related to this, that I was thinking about, was the value that I've seen in tracking my time and paying attention to my energy levels throughout the week.
Because like we were just saying, I've never actually thought who do I want to work with, because I always thought that was just a fixed condition in the world. Like, okay, well, these are just my colleagues and my clients just come to me. And I say yes, you know, and am working with them.
So now, it's changing my mind to really think differently about that. And I think one thing that is helping me, is actually really paying close attention to what my experience is throughout the weeks. And not just in time management, but also in energy management. Which has been a big shift for me, too.
Because sometimes I'll have like 10-hour days that I feel phenomenal at the end of the day, and I'm closing my computer at 10 o'clock at night. I'm like, I could go out dancing. I'm like, full of energy. I have all this inspiration. And other days, I’ll have much shorter, like four-hour days, but I feel absolutely exhausted and grumpy. And I'm like, you know, the volume on my inspiration part of my brain has turned way down.
Yeah, so that's something that's been also very telling. It's revealed some new insights for me about where I get inspiration from, and also, which client engagements are consistently giving and taking energy, and which ones are kind of like consistently having me feel flat afterwards. That's been enlightening.
So, I'm like, whoa, actually, I didn't realize that because I hadn't been paying attention. I just thought, these are the people that I work with, period.
Jenna: Yes, yes. And, it's amazing that you can track your energy. And then we also wanted to track inspiration for you, because that's such a huge part of your value-add for your clients. All of these different variables really can be tracked. It's just that we're so busy, right, we don't stop and pay attention to them.
Kat: Yeah, definitely. Definitely.
Jenna: And yet, what could be possible if we did? If we were in that state more frequently?
Kat: Yeah, definitely. Yeah.
Jenna: I think another interesting angle, is the idea of you stepping into that self-concept of CEO. Because I remember when we first started talking, a lot of the ways things were manifesting for you, like difficult interpersonal relationships, or taking on clients that maybe weren't best fit clients, and working extra hours to accommodate their needs.
If you were in that future self, of the owner of this amazingly renowned strategy partner organization, or company, I guess; strategy partnership company. Those things probably wouldn't be happening.
Kat: Yeah, yeah, definitely.
Jenna: I think we talked about that on the first call.
Kat: Yeah, yeah. Do you think I was experiencing those things because I was calling them in mentally? You know, because I think at first, when we started working together, it really was like a lot of the interpersonal challenges I was having with somebody that I hired, and really struggling over that.
And yeah, what's your take on why that happened to me? Is it because mentally I was also struggling with this identity, or I created a lack of clarity somehow, energetically in that relationship? Or, it was meant to serve me, to help me evolve, or all the above?
Jenna: I think the latter. I think that there are always opportunities for us, until we start to get it and we've really integrated it. Not just understood it the first time, but really integrated it to the point where those are just the decisions we make. And, that is just how we show up. And, that's how we speak. And then, the universe is like, okay, good. She gets it. On to the next bit of learning. There's always more.
But what is so fascinating is that when we're in the middle of it, all of these symptoms present as isolated issues, right? It is like the interpersonal part over here, the people pleasing over here. And then, there's this part, which is I don't quite know what my company would be. Which we now know, in hindsight, was really more about, can I do this also?
And that really, the unifying, stuck point behind all of it, was about the room you had to grow into this person, for whom those would all dissolve. Those things just don't occur anymore. I remember, we did some early visioning with you. You were sitting around the table with the people that work with you in your organization, and there was some conflict, but it was very healthy conflict. Do you remember?
Kat: Yeah, yes, I do remember that.
Jenna: Yeah. It generated very creative results. It was actually a really great thing to have happen. And it felt enlivening and exciting, rather than draining.
Kat: Yeah, absolutely. I think that's a perfect example of something that used to scare me, that I now feel like kind of oddly excited about. Like, that's really when I know that I've, like evolved, or I've like grown in some way. Because even with this recent experience of, I used to be so petrified to say no to clients. If they would reach out and say, “Hey, can you work with me?” And I would say, “No, I can't. I'm unavailable. I just don't want to.” Who knows?
Jenna: Or, “This is my price. I can't bring it down anymore.”
Kat: Yeah, exactly. Recently, I did say no to a prospective client. And I remember telling you afterwards, I felt like a beam of elation. Because I just felt like, oh, my gosh, that is such an amazing feeling to say no to this. Because it feels like a true no. It feels like a great no. I loved the reason for saying no. I did it so beautifully. You know, not with over explaining, not too much fluff. Just like clear, direct, kind, and it's a no.
But now, I feel like when people come to me, I'm excited that I might potentially have to say no, because it actually felt so surprisingly good. And similarly, with this other experience that I had with somebody who I hired. We had some interpersonal conflict. I've learned so much from that, that I'm excited already to be starting to put some of it into practice.
From like, “Cool. Next person I hire, I'm going to be doing this. And I'm going to make sure now, I know to check for these things and make sure we're aligned, and be a better communicator. And just like double and triple check, and kind of do all these things that I could have done better in this previous setup.
It makes me feel even more powerful. And it's like I see myself as having less sleepless nights with this new information in my pocket. Where I'm like, “Cool. There. These are tools now that I have, that will help me keep my peace, and my sense of calm throughout my days, and sleep well at night.” So, I would have never guessed that the no, and these now new tools, that would give me this sense of elation, and power to maintain my sense of self and sense of peace.
Jenna: Oh, that's so good. Because it's amazing to think about. I mean, it's what, been a month? Maybe it's been two months, perhaps that we've been working together. And isn't it amazing to think back on how much brain space used to be spent on worrying about saying something correctly to the right person? Or, thinking through what that person meant when they said that? Or, how could they say that? Or, why were they thinking that way?
I remember once saying to you… You had left me a voice note. And I saw you as such a master communicator. As I think anyone listening to this podcast would probably agree. And, you didn't, at that time. And I remember saying, you were leaving me a voice memo wondering would this be appropriate? Should I say this?
And I said, “What if you went back and listened to that, but you ended each of those sentences with a period instead of a question mark?” It was all there. It was just the way you were speaking it, that made it feel confusing.
Kat: Yeah. And I think this is like what we've talked about, too. I think you said it's like the experts dilemma, or this feeling of you always minimize your own innate brilliance. Because it has come easy or something. I see that a lot in my friends or colleagues. Where they'll be like, “Oh, yeah, I just whipped this together.” And I'm like, it's incredible.
That it's like this feeling that if something comes easy to you or you haven't struggled with it, or something, that you feel that like you're not as good at it as you really are. Seeing myself as a powerful communicator is something I feel really excited about. Stepping into that identity, because I do really love to speak and write. And trusting myself and getting in the practice of articulating my own opinions is also like a muscle to flex.
And something that I've noticed a lot in myself, is my desire to ask for permission or advice from others as a default. Rather than just sitting quietly with myself and being like, what do I want? What do I think? Is it the right thing to do?
And so now, I'm trying to challenge myself in moments when I would be like, let me voice note Jenna to hear what she thinks I should do. Or, let me call my friend. Or like, let me go to my boyfriend who’s already off the clock. He already did his 20 minutes, and I’ve asked for some over time. Now, I'm like, what would I do? And how could I explain my decision instead of asking for advice?
It's like shifting my mindset to being like, “Hey, Jen, I just wanted to let you know, this is my decision.” And even without sending a voice note to you, I just articulated it out loud, and then like, cool, I feel great about that. I don't need to send that.
Actually, it’s been still a struggle, to be honest. Sometimes I find myself like, within immediate, like, I should check. I should check what other people think I should do. But trusting myself and trusting my own opinions is also part of giving myself permission to communicate like I have. I have great opinions and insights. And I don't need to ask other people for advice on every little thing.
Jenna: Yeah. It's just amazing to see your transformation in such a short period of time and you do all the work. You're listening to every single podcast episode; diehard. You are diehard journaling. You're coming up with your reflections and insights. So much happens in between each of our calls. And, we're meeting weekly.
So that's, it's just a lot of transformation that can happen in a short time when you are that interested in it. And I think it's so fun to watch you do this. To see you at work and how much a person can change when they put their mind to it. And, we can see it so clearly.
Now, in hindsight, if you had the conflict between really being a warm, caring person, and this other side, which would be this abrasive and harsh CEO that bulldozes over people, then that would lead to a lot of question marks every time you were communicating.
And when you settle into the, “Actually, there is no conflict here,” so absolutely, who I am, I can create whatever I want to create. And I can fail along the way. I can get some things wrong, and then I can go back and make them right. Then the question marks, they disappear.
Kat: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's definitely true. So, I feel like, like you would say, entrepreneurship made you Woo. I was like, already, woo. But entrepreneurship has taken me to another level. I really like how much my mental state becomes a reflection of my reality. Even with coming on this podcast.
Like you mentioned, I'm like your diehard number one fan girl. Walking around the park near my house, listening to all of your podcasts and really even saying out loud, because I'm such an external processor, like, “Oh, my God, great point. Totally.” People in my neighborhood are probably like, “Oh, there's the podcast girl, again, just doing her loops. Talking to no one.”
Jenna: I love that visual.
Kat: Even I said, in my mind, like, oh, you know what would be so cool? Is if one day Jenna would invite me to come speak on her podcast. And later that day, you were like, “Hey, Kat. I really think you should come share this experience on the podcast.” So, I'm just a huge believer. And other people in my life are becoming even bigger believers through what they're experiencing, what they're seeing that I'm experiencing.
When you tend to your inner world. How that then, comes alive in your outer world. And like, how they mirror each other. I really, really experienced that. And something that I learned in the woo world, is this concept of magic dark. Have you heard of this before?
Jenna: No. Tell us.
Kat: What we were just talking about, where the universe will send you experiences to help you evolve. Like, say, for example, you would say, I really want to date somebody who's emotionally available. The universe would send you emotionally unavailable people as kind of like little tests for you to say no to.
And your magic dark, is usually when you finally say the No. So, like, or you finally kind of evolve. And it's called the magic dark because sometimes it can be a little bit painful or sad, because you're letting go of a mental model, or you're letting go of something that has felt familiar. For example, dating emotionally unavailable people. Saying like, “No, I don't want to date this person.
Jenna: I'd rather be alone.
Kat: Yes, I'd rather be alone. That feels painful, and then a month or two later, an emotionally available person comes along, when you're like least expecting it. And I've seen that now, too, in my business. Sometimes these painful moments, which feel like the culmination of a big lesson that I needed, I was learning in bits and pieces, building up to this moment. And then, once I stepped across that, I feel different. And now, I am experiencing something totally different, too.
Jenna: Yes, yes, that is such a great explanation, I think, for how I perceive coaching for myself. It's like I'm getting these little aggregate bits of information, but it's difficult for me to see in real time. And when I work with a coach, and there's that level of objectivity there, it really helps me accelerate, consolidate, and then integrate those lessons so much more quickly, than I would on my own.
But I don't know. I mean, actually, I'm really curious because you do love the podcast so much. And so, for anybody that is listening to the podcast regularly, what do you think would be going on in your business if we weren't working together, and you were just listening to the podcast? What is different about the coaching experience that someone isn't necessarily going to get from the podcast, do you think?
Kat: I think I love listening to your podcast because you have a relaxed authority and the acoustics are incredible. As I'm now understanding the backstory of the magic.
Jenna: She’s looking at me in my closet.
Kat: But I think listening to them alone, would keep me in an intellectual space and not in an application space. I think I'd be like, oh, that's interesting. I totally agree. Great. Yes, great point. I totally agree. And then, I would go back to my life. And I would still struggle with these immense difficulties, but not know how to take from the podcast and put it into my life at the speed and scale that I experience in the coaching sessions.
I think that's a big piece. Maybe I would be able to say like, oh, cool, I'll take those five tips. And, let me try to integrate them this week. And I'm sure it would show up in my life in some ways. I think the scale and the speed would be really different.
And, I think it's also the personal factor. So, having somebody else who has a coaching lens and who also has expertise in clarity, be able to mirror back to me what you're seeing in me, I think that is so invaluable, because it's so personal.
And like you said, even for your own experience, sometimes it's just very difficult to actually see yourself and to see the connections. You know, like even when before we started working together, I was like, I'm sure that I'm going to be repeating myself sometimes, but I don't hear it, you know? For you, you hear it, you can see the threads, you can summarize it back to me and say, it sounds like you're struggling with a self-concept, really feeling like the CEO that you are.
It's like what you said… Now, I'm gonna reveal how much of a diehard that I am. But it's like you said in the diagnosing your client’s problems, like just the diagnosis is often a huge gift. To be able to tell somebody, this is what I'm seeing. I see that you're struggling with this. You know, I get that. And I think I hear you wanting to go here.
So, that's something that I think I couldn't have accessed through just the podcast alone.
Jenna: I love that. So, speaking of the speed, we just have to talk about the manifesting new clients. When you were thinking ahead about, I think the question was, it was from the connect the dots work that we were doing. How that translated into the rest of your day.
Kat: Yeah. You mean, what that meant? Like, what happened after I did that exercise?
Jenna: Tell everyone what the question is, that you were working on? It was like, if you were to dedicate yourself to something, or if you were to look back, what do you wish you dedicated yourself to more? It was one of those, something like that. And then, you had an epiphany about it. And it was, I don't want to tell the story. But also, I don't want to reveal any client information.
That's why, if you all are wondering why Kat and I are dancing around right now, that's because of this. Okay, I'll just tell the story. So, what happened was, you did come up with an area where you're like, “That's so interesting. I actually haven't been working in that area of the social good world. And that's something that I really would have wished I dedicated my life to more.”
And then, that very day, someone reached out to you from precisely that type of organization. And not only that, but it was for a strategy-oriented job. And there were even details. Right? About the retreat experience, and it just keeps snowballing.
Kat: Yeah. And the most amazing thing, like to just top off this incredible story, is that when I got on the call with this person, I was really in such a comfortable element with myself. I was like, I'm not selling anything. I don't have that selling desperation, energy. I'm just like, I knew this person from an old job, and it was a catch-up call; half catch-up, half like, hey, we need this kind of support, you know, might you be interested?
And so, the thing that we've talked about, that I find so magical about this call, is that I just kind of, you know, spoke as my true self. I was being like, my funny self, catching up, we were laughing a lot. And she was starting to tell me like, this is what we're experiencing, this is the support we need. And I was just speaking with an authority and an expertise that I have, but in such a relatable and clear way.
And she was like, Oh, yes, exactly. The exactly. You understand it exactly. And that's exactly what we need. And the most incredible thing after that call, was like, okay, cool, let's maybe see if we might be able to work together. And she came back, and she was like, Kat, we would like you to lead us through a six-month strategy, redesign period. Which is incredible, because that's the kind of work I want to be doing.
But even more incredible, because I didn't already tell her everything that I was imagining. Like, okay, then I would do this. And then I would… Then we could do this. There wasn't this convincing energy. I was just kind of like shining in my little projector way, speaking what I know to be true, of making observations that were helpful.
I think that really stood out to me, as something that surprised me in the best possible way. Because I have thought, Okay, well, if I want to make this shift to being this strategy thought partner to my clients, I need to change my entire service offerings, and I need to have it all figured out. And I have to have tools predesigned and five step process and phases.
And all this stuff, like to give myself the credibility to then say, look, I have this whole suite of tools with me. Where they actually already bought the experience with me based on one conversation, and the way I was talking about the whole picture. And that connects actually, to our work together.
Because I know similarly that you are taking me on a journey of which I'm so excited about. And also, I trust the process. I trust where you'll be taking me. And in a similar way, I hope this experience, my clients meet me, they hear me speak, they like can kind of sense my energy, I call them in and they trust me to lead them.
Even if they don't know like, oh, and then what are we going to be doing in month two? It'll be great. We'll figure it out together. And it's going to be awesome. So yeah, that was an incredible story.
Jenna: They feel magnetized. That was the word you used. And I love that there are so many similarities between our work, and we've identified that before, and how difficult it is for ourselves. Same with me, I have difficulty with, when I get into a little clarity loop or uncertainty loop, and it's difficult for me to see outside of it in that moment. And then, you know, for you, you were having difficulty seeing the synergies and yet this is exactly what you do. Your clients also are feeling uncertain, and yet it's very simple for you to come in and see what needs to be done.
Kat: Yeah, that's so funny. I remember joking to you on a voice note, like how funny, Jenna. My clients come to me for clarity because they want help seeing the synergies, but I'm coming to you for clarity to help me see the synergies. Right? It's very funny.
And I think drawing the connection between myself and my clients, helps me not posture myself as like, up on the rooftop. As you described to me that projector sometimes can be. Where it's like, kind of looking down from above, or like offering advice, but not really getting into the weeds with them. And noticing the similarities of like, oh yeah, I've also been in that kind of clarity loop, doing mental gymnastics.
Or, I understand what their experience is, because I've experienced myself. Actually, helps me show up in a way that I enjoy more, and brings more value to them. Because I think sometimes, probably for various reasons, I have felt that I can sometimes judge my clients. Like when they come to me for expertise, that I think, oh, okay, well, they want me to be the expert. So, I have to make sure I show up and show them that I basically know everything; you know, let me put on my expert hat.
And I'm like, okay, don't worry, I have all the answers. But actually, that's really not what they want to hear. They want to hear and be validated that what they're experiencing makes total sense. And that I'm a thought partner to them, in that complexity. And like in the mess with them, celebrating and being real and honest with them. Instead of coming in with this posture of an expert or having all these credentials. That they actually come, more for the realness.
Jenna: So good. So good. Yeah, I think it's, instead of I have the answers, it's we'll find the answers.
Kat: Yeah, absolutely.
Jenna: It’s the shift there. It's so good. So, Kat, I do feel like you have a very unique way of looking at so many things that other people are longing for. So, I was just hoping you could share… Like, I'll ask you some questions, and you just share how you think about it. Because then, they'll be able to adopt some of these thoughts, and hopefully use it and run with it.
So, when you think about having grown your business so quickly, how do you think about that?
Kat: Like, why it happened? Or, just like my feeling about it?
Jenna: Or, the ability for it to happen? For instance, I know there are a lot of people that think this will take time. This will take so long. This is so difficult. This is so hard. And you've had an experience where you've grown your business so quickly. So, you'll naturally have different thoughts.
And as we know, right, we think it's the circumstances. We think it's the fact that we're not seeing the clients, versus Kat, who is seeing the clients. And that's what creates it. But we know that it's actually our thoughts and our perceptions that are contributing to those results.
So, if you can just kind of break down what are your thoughts about how business can grow quickly, and how clients can be coming, to the point where you're having to turn people away?
Kat: I think it starts with, like a self-concept about myself that if I envision it and I believe it, it will come true. Like, I just sometimes even scare myself because I'm like, “Alright, Kat, there you go, visioning and believing even bigger. Now watch out, it's gonna happen.” Like, I've kind of gotten into this groove, where I just believe that those things are intimately connected.
Where I'm like, if I envision it, plus the belief, it will happen. And then, I think for a while, I mean, I started with my coaching journey, listening to Brooke’s podcasts at The Life Coach School. And that really started to change my mentality around what's possible, and like, why not?
And I think I do have this feeling now, after experiencing success in my business, of really believing like, you can create whatever you want to create. And sometimes even I have to pinch myself because I'm like, really? And then I'm like, Kat, really. You have all this proof.
I think also, looking at my life and through that lens of that kind of story and seeing all the proof of I envisioned this, I believed it, I made it happen. I envisioned this, I believed it, I made it happen. And now I'm coming to a place of, I still have some scarcity feelings sometimes.
Even what I've experienced now, of like, Oh, I'm afraid to make this shift because I'm scared that I'm not good enough to do it. Or that if I do say no to this business, my business might dry up. And I think I still experience that, definitely. But most of the time, I have this feeling of like, this is fun.
Like, I get to do whatever I want to do. I can create whatever I want to create. But I think it really starts from having this belief about myself; I am the type of person who X-Y-Z. Knowing that my entire kind of existence lives within my head, for the most part, in my body. That even sometimes if I'm like, okay, what would be the worst case? If I didn't get clients for a few months? That might be like a wonderful surprise. You know that maybe I would that would give me more time to then be working on my offerings, or pivoting, or taking time off of work and feeling rejuvenated.
So, I feel a little bit less scared of kind of needing to control the future, and more letting it come to be, I guess, through my thoughts. Not sure if that was really well articulated?
Jenna: I know what you're saying. It really is a jumping off point, where we really start to believe that we are creating, that we are creators. Right? As opposed to the recipients of all the things going on in our lives. And that really is a jump, and I think it's going to be somebody out there is going to feel very… It's going to be the final time they needed to hear it, was to hear you saying it, in that way. That, I really do create it.
Kat: Yeah, I think the other thing, which I'm not sure if you agree with this or not, is… And now that I have the language and understanding of myself as a projector, I'm also now like a diehard on human design. I'm like, you know, classic me, projector doing my projector stuff.
But I also, really pay close attention to who I surround myself with. And like where I'm getting input from for what's possible. Because I think watching other women, in particular, be successful and hearing about them and seeing myself as connected to them. Like, oh, wow, I'm also like that.
Jenna: So, that’s the difference right there. You help your brain go to the place of, how am I like them, rather than how are they different?
Kat: I definitely felt that, even when I first started getting into coaching and hearing about women doing incredible things. I found myself being like, I'm so similar to them. I think the same, you know, or I allow myself to be like them, I want to be like them. Like I admire them. I want to be like that. I really like that way of existing.
I do that a lot in with friends and family, that I admire things in other people. And I'm like, I would love to be as patient as this person. I think they're like, so incredibly patient. But I would say being around people who also believe in what I'm creating. You can't really control other people's mental models, but that has helped me a lot.
And I think the thing that I experience in other people, which I think that I've been on my own journey with, is actually believing that I'm worthy of the things that I want. That's like a deeper, deeper level of work. Because especially for, I’ll speak from my own experience as a woman, it's like, wanting to make a lot of money, for example, or experience a lot of downtime or have beautiful hobbies. Or, luxurious vacations or all of these gorgeous things that I want for myself.
That I think the hardest hurdle, beyond kind of like the paying attention to my mindset about those things, is actually emotionally on a deep cellular level, believing I am worthy of those things. I can have those things. It's not bad or wrong, or I shouldn't feel ashamed to have this desire. You know, to let myself have desires and let myself have big dreams, is like a huge permission on a deeper level, that I think is probably the most important work to do.
And then, the mental stuff comes, you can find tactics to help coach yourself through that.
Jenna: Yes, so good. I'm glad you brought that up. I was just speaking with a client the other day, about how dangerous it has been for women, over time, to feel their desires. And their desires have been so dangerous in so many ways, that it makes sense that we would not always be able to tap into them. And/or when we do tap into them, we get that little subconscious hit that this is dangerous or this is wrong. Or, not safe.
So, speaking also, I think you will be such a role model for many people who are projectors because you are very aligned in so many ways, and you are able to bring in a lot of invitations for people. And you are able to have an amazing amount of activity in your life. Being a projector and managing your energy levels isn't something that typically paralyzes you, you are able when you're aligned, like you've said.
I think anyone that knows Human Design, who was listening to that part of the podcast, where you talked about how you work for 10 hours and then would go out dancing? Would have just assumed that you were an MG or a generator? And yet, really, this speaks to how fueled you are by fulfilling your purpose.
Kat: I think the having the language of being a projector, has helped me a lot. And especially hearing from you, that you see me as an aligned projector, is like a perfect example of what I was saying before about the mirroring that can happen with coaching. Where I'm like, oh, wow, like you see me as an aligned projector.
This is still new language for me, so I'm like, what does that mean? But I think it's also helped me to relax into being myself a lot more. Because I have always been a ninja about my energy, actually, where I would say to friends, like, I can hang out for two hours. And then I will be, you know, taking my leave of you.
And my friends would be like, this is so classic Kat. I'd be like, it's 10 o'clock, I will be taking my leave. Because I have a very good sense of how much I have in the tank and what I need to do at different times of the day; to go for a walk, or lay down, or be alone. Or with this friend I could spend five hours. With this friend, I can spend an hour and a half. Both beautiful, but just like, kind of take from me different types of energies and different amounts of energy.
And I think learning about myself as a projector and thinking my energy is liquid gold, has helped me be like, yeah, of course, Kat, of course, you need you have needed to be so incredible about your energy. And that's not something to feel ashamed about.
And similarly, the idea of around invitations, like I told you, has helped me to feel incredibly relaxed. Because I think I had also this understanding of myself as somebody who hustles. Which is something that I'm trying to undo, in language and mindset. Around like, I'm a hustler. I work hard. I'm a hard worker. I push. Hustle has this energy of pushing. I don't know, I get this feeling of pushing, actually.
Now I'm like, actually, I don't have to be pushing. I don't have to be seeding opportunities. I don't have to. I can just be doing my best work, shining, articulating what I'm observing, creating. Doing my stuff and waiting for invitations, and then feeling in my body like, oh, is this a good invitation? You know, is this something that is like lighting me up, and is feeling incredible?
I don't know if other projectors, who have experienced that, would resonate with that, but it gave me this immense sense of relief.
Jenna: So, I love you sharing that, because I don't think it's the experience of most projectors, to feel relief. And I just want to offer to all of you, that it can be your experience. You can choose relief, rather than panic. A lot of people have expressed to me, that they feel a sense of panic or they feel hamstrung now, because they have to wait for an invitation.
And of course, when they're believing the invitations won't come, and it's difficult to get clients, and it's not going to happen, that's exactly what tends to happen for them. And so, it can feel very… The experience can be really difficult of not being “allowed” to go make it happen.
But I just want to offer to all of you, as Kat is speaking about it so beautifully, in a way that I wouldn't have thought to, because I'm not a projector. But yes, you can absolutely feel that as relief. And that really what she offers and what all of you offer, is liquid gold. And, people want it. Why wouldn't you feel… If you really believed it was liquid gold, and that they want it, why wouldn't you feel relief?
Kat: Yeah, totally. I think something that struck me, about what you shared with me about being a projector, is kind of this from the Hawaii guy, which I absolutely love his videos. You have to give him good credit in this podcast if this gets included, because he's the Hawaii guy, but that's I'm calling him.
But he was saying, projectors have a tendency to, I guess, have harder time sitting in their own energy or sitting idle. That he gave this exact instance of, if you feel this pull to have to call somebody, just resist for a minute and sit with yourself. Get more comfortable with waiting, and the patience, and being with yourself.
And that also really resonated with me, as something that I'm not very good at. If I have down moments, I'm like, let me call my grandma, let me call this person. Let me connect. Let me tap into somebody else's energy. Let me pick up, let me exchange, let's see what's happening with them. I think this will be a continuous journey for me to be okay with the waiting and sitting in my own energy.
And also, being more energetically aware of wait, if I call this person, I don't know what their energetic state might be, and what that will do for me in my afternoon. So, am I ready for that uncertainty? Or, am I not? Would I rather just kind of like, be in my own energetic state, and be still and be silent. Which is something that struck me, too, about the projector experience.
Jenna: Beautiful. Thank you. Thank you for sharing that. Since we've gone into such detail with human design in this, I just want to point out for those of you that are listening and starting to explore human design or maybe very into human design. I think Kat, when you were talking about being up on the rooftop, that was actually reflective of your 6 profile line. So, if anyone else has a 6 profile line, that's what we're referring to there.
Is that sometimes, you don't quite want to engage with the world. You want to just sit back and watch and have your knowledge for yourself, rather than believing that your knowledge is worthy. In that projector way, it's very related. So, they're very, very similar. The 6, I would say, that that knowledge is accumulated throughout your life, that wisdom is accumulated throughout your life. And you projectors have a little bit more of just these divine downloads, where it's not necessarily accumulated. It's just there, you just know.
Kat: That’s very cool. Thanks for the clarification.
Jenna: So, is there anything else that we haven't touched on that you want to share?
Kat: Just how much I've enjoyed this. Honestly, I feel like I could keep chatting. It's so fun. Thank you for inviting me to be here.
Jenna: As always. Absolutely. So, where can people find you, if they want to check out what you do, and send the word out about your liquid gold?
Kat: Yeah. My website is probably the best place. Which is www.KatherineHaugh.com I have a contact form on there, so that's probably the best place to find me. Or, maybe on LinkedIn, which is also my first and last name.
Jenna: Yes, yes, you do amazing things on LinkedIn. So, if you're interested in just seeing how an aligned projector works through social media in the world, then that's really a great place to visit. We'll link to both of those in the show notes. Kat, thank you so much for coming on. And just sharing your journey and your thoughts and your perspective. I know it's going to be helpful for definitely, one person, but probably many, many people.
Kat: Thank you so much. This is really fun. I really appreciate it.
Hey, if you're a coach who wants true clarity about your secret sauce, your people, your best way of doing business, and how you talk about your offer, then I invite you to join us in the Clarity Accelerator.
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Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity First Strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.
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Ep #25: From $65/hr to a $6k Offer with Carrie Coffin
Carrie was a client in the very first round of The Clarity Accelerator, so tune in this week to hear more about her experience in the program, the thought processes required to transform her business, and how she learned to move through resistance and transform into the confident women and CEO she always wanted to be.
Episode Summary
Carrie Coffin joins Jenna on the show to share why sometimes the steps you think you need to take in life or business aren’t the steps that are right for your business.
Get clear on what you offer to whom and how to talk about it … plus actually believe it. Join us in our Clarity Accelerator 60-day bootcamp by scheduling a call here.
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Show Notes
Have you ever wished you just knew the right steps to turn your hobby into a real business? Or have you ever wished you could take your current business and turn it into the well-oiled machine of your dreams? You might feel like you know the next step you need to take, but what if that next step isn’t what you need? What if you need something else entirely?
Today I’m bringing you the second installment of the series, where I’m welcoming women just like you onto the podcast who have made the decision to get clear and, as a result, have radically transformed their businesses. This week, you’ll hear from Carrie Coffin, who went from charging $65 an hour to multiple thousands for her packages. Carrie thought that she needed to figure out the right next steps to take in her business, but after our very first conversation together, she walked away with a completely different way of thinking about what she really needed. She joins me this week to share more about her experience.
Carrie was a client in the very first round of The Clarity Accelerator, so tune in this week to hear more about her experience in the program, the thought processes required to transform her business, and how she learned to move through resistance and transform into the confident women and CEO she always wanted to be.
What You’ll Learn From This Episode:
What made taking the leap into entrepreneurship less scary for Carrie.
How Carrie moved away from her scarcity mindset and gained more confidence in her business.
The problem with downplaying your strengths and superpowers.
How Carrie learned to give herself permission to give herself exactly what she needed.
The power of believing that change is possible for you.
Carrie’s advice to anybody on the fence about building an uncommon business.
How Carrie now helps people organize their lives, not just their homes.
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Carrie Coffin: Website | Instagram
Full Episode Transcript:
Have you ever wished you just knew the right steps to turn your hobby into a real business or to take your current business and turn it into the well-oiled machine of your dreams? And you find yourself thinking, if you've just had that, you be completely satisfied and that's really all you need. Well, chasing the steps might not be what you need. You might need something else entirely.
You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life, by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top ranked business coach and reformed overanalyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.
Jenna Harrison: Hey, everyone. Welcome back to The Uncommon Way. Today I have a special gift for you. I'm bringing my client, Carrie Coffin, on to continue the series about a woman just like you have made the decision to get clear and then radically transformed their businesses.
And like I alluded to in the intro, Carrie came to me thinking that what she needed was to figure out the right steps. And typically, I attract people who really know they need to get clear on something or they want to get clear on something in their business, they want to take it deeper. They want to align all those pieces and have this thing be such a full expression of themselves. But Carrie wasn't in that boat. She was looking for a business coach, and she just happened upon my website, thank goodness, and decided to book a call.
And in that very first conversation, she walked away with a completely different way of thinking about what she really needed and will talk about this. We'll tell you the whole story. But needless to say, it was not what Carrie expected. And this is the second installment of this series where I'm bringing on clients that are able to really share their thought process and how they move through resistance because this is my year-end gift to you.
I've found proof and other people's stories to be so powerful and finally, integrating these concepts that I've been hearing about. But when I hear an actual person speaking it out loud and talking about it, it always just hits me in a completely different way. I don't know if you're the same. I hope so. That is why I'm doing this because I've been able to take just a way of thinking from someone on a podcast and really transform results in my own life.
And I would love for you to be able to see what these women have done and A, believe it's possible for yourself. B, believe it's possible sooner than you think. C, believe it's possible more easily and with less aggravation and stress than you might be anticipating. But on the other hand, I want you to understand that if there is aggravation and stress, that's all part of the journey. It's all good, and we get where we're going.
And I also want you to be able to absorb the high level energy that these women are putting out. I believe so deeply that this is how we all help each other up and why things are accelerating so quickly in this time, it's through this kind of connectivity. It's like electricity just pulsing through our industry, our generations, our environment. I love contributing to that and I hope that this is deeply meaningful for you.
Carrie is a woman who went from charging $65 an hour to charging multiple thousands for her packages. And oh, by the way, completely invented a new industry and deeply transformed who she was. She finally stepped into the confident CEO that she had always wanted to be, and the confident woman she'd always wanted to be. She was in the very first round of the Clarity Accelerator, so what a huge blessing for me.
And in hindsight, it's so easy for us to look back and say, "She obviously always had that in her." Look at her, she's amazing and look what she was able to do. But friends, that was not her experience in the beginning. And so many of us downplay our strengths or just can't recognize our strengths and our superpowers and it keeps us from really stepping into that very powerful and magnetic way of being in the world.
And it really keeps our clients and every other person we come in contact with from experiencing us in that fullest place. Which is why I'm so excited for you to meet her because she will be reflecting back to you parts of yourself that are already there as well. And through this conversation, you will hopefully sense recognition and also feel permission to fully step into them in 2023. Okay. Let's get started. Hi, Carrie.
Carrie Coffin: Hi, Jenna.
Jenna: Thanks so much for coming on.
Carrie: Thank you so much for having me.
Jenna: So nice to see you again. So I thought, as I always do, we just dive in to painting the picture for everyone about where you were before we started working together, just so that they can really tune in to, "Is this something that I can relate to and that can actually give me value?" They'll know like, "Oh, yes, I was thinking that too." And they want to see how you move through it. So I know it's hard to rewind the clock, but can you go back to that point in time and tell us a little bit about it?
Carrie: Yeah. It was a very pivotal point for me. I was really dedicated to starting my own business and trying to build it sustainably, but I was really just lost in what I should do next and what next step would be the right next step and what would have the most impact. So I was spending a lot of time overthinking and not taking action. I was also really at that point, afraid of failure. I think I was probably a little bit paralyzed by it. And so that was also preventing me from moving in a positive direction that would have those lasting results.
Jenna: Yeah. So there were a lot of shoulds in there, I remember that. You led into it, but I was going to ask, when you think back about that time, how were you different?
Carrie: I really didn't believe in myself fully, I would say. I knew that I was meant to do something outside of the traditional 8:00 to 5:00. I had that calling, but I wasn't incredibly clear on what that would be and the value that I would bring that would be something that people would be interested in buying.
Jenna: Mm-hmm. Can you just tell people a little bit about your story, what happened after college, and then how you ended up moving into the line of work that you were doing when we met? And just tell them all about that, about you, what that was.
Carrie: Sure. I knew I wanted to do impactful work, so I ended up in the nonprofit realm, which I really learned a lot there but felt frustrated that the best hours of the day I was in an office behind a computer, and I really identified with the missions, but I still felt that there was something more for me. And ultimately, I had a supervisor lay into me more on a personal level. And that was pretty painful. And that's what made taking the leap into entrepreneurship less scary.
Jenna: So much easier, right?
Carrie: Yeah.
Jenna: You're all fired up.
Carrie: Yeah. So it was still pretty scary. And so I was trying a lot of things on my own and just not seeing consistent results. And so I started interviewing business coaches. And I wasn't very impressed with the ones that I had interviewed. They were very structured and basically said, "If you do exactly what I say, then you'll get the results." And that felt really inauthentic to me. I wanted to build a business that was authentic to me and not put me in a position where I had to sacrifice any integrity in order to build this business. So that's actually when I happened upon your website, The Uncommon Way, and I said, "Ooh, I want something that's unique to me that will help me build a unique business."
Jenna: I love it.
Carrie: So yeah, then we hopped on the call.
Jenna: Yeah, yeah. It was meant to be. So you were doing home organizing at the time, right?
Carrie: Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Jenna: So tell them about that and how you moved from nonprofit work into that and where you were at when we met.
Carrie: So when I was in nonprofit, I really honed in my project management skills. It was a survival tool, and I realized that I just had a little bit of a different perspective than a lot of other people and so that's what got me curious about home organizing. I also witnessed a family member go through a very abrupt downsize, and that was really, really difficult for her just because of the overwhelm.
And I just had the snack for, "Okay. Well, let's look at it from this perspective, or let's break it down in this way, or let's take this baby step." And so that's when I really got rolling and I got certified as a KonMari consultant, but I wasn't attracting the right clients, I think. I wasn't very clear on who my ideal client was at all. And that caused me to spin my wheels in terms of where I was putting my energies because I didn't have those priorities very clear.
Jenna: Yeah. It's so fun now to think back, but I went back and looked at your intake form and our first discovery call, and I remember you really wanted someone that could give you really good tactics for being on nextdoor.com or something. There was very much like this magic place that would allow you to do things. And do you remember what I... Well, I don't want to lead you, but I remember that when we hopped on the call, I said, "Carrie, I actually see a lot of money mindset coming through your site."
Carrie: Oh, yeah. That was a big light bulb moment for me. Just hit me like a ton of bricks like, "Whoa, I had no idea that was going on." Yes. You said, "I can see some scarcity mindset on your website." And then you explained it and I said, "Oh my gosh, yes." And that's why I'm attracting these clients that want to just work on their laundry room or maybe one part of their office. I was just so amazed at that outside perspective that I knew I wanted to work with you from that moment.
Jenna: Oh, I love it. And I of course knew I wanted to work with you immediately. But I do also remember thinking this is something that I see so clearly reflected on her website that she doesn't see, and I have a feeling there are so many other people that also would never notice it. And I remember we weren't even working together yet, and I wrote you, and I'm like, "Carrie, I know we just talked, but can I use your story in an email because I think it would really help people?" Do you remember that?
Carrie: Yeah. I do.
Jenna: Yes. Yeah. And that was helpful. I remember there were a couple people that were like, "Wow, I never would've thought of it." Because I know there was one thing I was seeing people are going to be like, "What was she seeing that was so indicative of scarcity?" I remember your pricing structure. And it was targeted to very small packages like that, one room or one hour, I forget what it was. And then there was like they could buy bulk packages and they'd get things cheaper.
And I remember saying that you're not Costco. You don't sell in bulk. I really just longed for you to step into your value because I remember also about you, you had really great visuals. You had invested in photography, and you already had a website when you came to speak. And so I picked up so much from that branding. I already felt like I knew you and had a fair idea of what was possible for you. And that wasn't reflected in the copy in the messaging.
Carrie: Yeah. That was something else. I think I was trying to be too concise and not really showing people who I was. And so after we worked together, I ended up scrapping the whole website. I kept the photography, but all of my language, everything. And I had spent six months building that website. So that hindsight, I was like, "Wow, I really wish I worked with Jenna before."
Jenna: Earlier. Thank you. I did not pay Carrie to say that, by the way. And she came up with it all on her own. But let's get into your story because I really want them to see, I'm sure there are a lot of people that relate to that, that also are completely aware that they have scarcity in the way.
You weren't thinking about it all the time, but as soon as I said it, you were like, "Yes." And I remember you were even able to tell me when you graduated college, that was right during the recession and that really got burned into your, what is this word, vigilance factor. It was something you really had to watch out for spending money. And that really was translating to how you thought your clients were thinking.
Carrie: Yeah. Absolutely. It was so ingrained that I wasn't even aware of it, graduating in the recession and then I went into the AmeriCorps. So it's technically a volunteer position, but you get paid a small living stipend. And I had student loans. So that living stipend went basically towards student loans. And that was just my, quote, "jolt" to what I thought was the real world. And so it was really helpful to have a perspective that not everyone is operating from that lens. And if I'm operating from that lens, then I'm attracting people that are operating from that lens.
Jenna: Yes. And just to jump ahead, I can't help, this is such a perfect segue, but do you remember when you got that client and she was basically saying, "Can I pay you more?" She was like, "If I could invest this, I want to do it right." Do you remember?
Carrie: I do. I remember I was on the phone, and I was so glad I was on the phone and not on video because, my face, I was just flabbergasted. And I think I got off the phone with her and she had signed on, and I just totally cried.
Jenna: Yeah. It was so good.
Carrie: It was just also releasing all of those old beliefs that, "Oh, what if I can't do it? What if I'm on the wrong path? What if this isn't going to work out?" And that was just confirmation that I was on the right path. It's hard to have that faith having never done it before.
Jenna: Right. It's so, so, so true. And that's why I'm so grateful that you're coming on the podcast because there's someone else out there that's thinking that right now and needs one more bit of hope and inspiration from a woman that's gone through it. It's just this last year. You just went through it.
Carrie: Yeah. I feel like so much has changed.
Jenna: And I think you... Yeah. And you made your investment back with that one client, right?
Carrie: Yes. And I remember when we were first on the phone, I said, "Do your clients make their investment back? And if so, in what timeframe?" I really wanted-
Jenna: A guarantee.
Carrie: ... a guarantee. And then-
Jenna: And I'm sure I said no, right?
Carrie: Yes. No. You said-
Jenna: I'm sure I'm like-
Carrie: ... there's no guarantees, because really it's me doing the work and that willingness and having you as a guide. But yes, I made my entire investment with you back in one client.
Jenna: Yeah. Yeah. And then you'll keep doing that for the rest of your life, which is so beautiful. It's so beautiful.
Carrie: Yeah. I know. It was pretty magical.
Jenna: Yeah. All of you that are coaches out there too, and you're wondering how to handle questions like that, of course, it's totally up to you and always do what's in integrity. But I've always found it so helpful just to be like, "I absolutely don't know what's going to happen." And say, "I have some clients that make money so quickly, and I have others that work with me for a year and they're doing deep mindset work."
And I honestly, in my heart, do not believe that there's a qualitative difference that one way is better than the other, I really believe. Like with me, I always say I was the one that took the longest to work through all of these issues. And I think it serves me now that I spent so long in that place and that I had so many issues come up that now I can help people with different issues as well. But I always try and be honest with that. And I will tell you all listeners that I've never had a person say no because of that. It's like people need to ask the question and they just want an honest response, I think. Carrie, I don't know, can you think of questions like that your people ask you in a fear state and that you're able to respond like that? Does anything come up?
Carrie: Yeah. I think what I get most often is, "Well, how do I know that this will really work for me? I have a hard time letting things go." And that is because in a way we're trying to solve a new problem, which is a lot of clutter and overwhelm with an older mindset of acquire things, maintain them, organize them. And so just working through that perspective shift of, are the things that I own, owning me, and how much is enough, and what is the right amount, and what do these things bring value?
So that is something that is a little bit difficult to answer on a call, on a first call with someone because what's on the other side is just so beyond what they could imagine that at some point they'll say, "This is actually really fun. I'm enjoying letting go of these things."
Jenna: All right. It feels so freeing.
Carrie: Yeah.
Jenna: Yeah. But you're right. When they're there, you really don't know how attached they are to that old self. And shedding that identity piece and transitioning, reinventing yourself is something new. There's not always a timeline for that. That is certainly not predictable timelines.
Carrie: Yeah. Everyone works at a different pace, and I just like to work with the pace that they're comfortable with so that they are happy with the results, and they don't regret some of their decisions.
Jenna: Yeah. And I think also so that it sinks in. There are so many times where I know, and I started out coaching with the military, so I know there are ways that I could motivate a person to take action and I could make the action happen, for instance. And I also know that it won't stick that way, that I'd much rather go at their pace and have it be real. So good. Okay. So tell us what it felt like to invest this.
Carrie: It was terrifying. I remember we had gotten off the phone and I had decided I was ready, and I felt like I was swinging on a pendulum between sheer terror and euphoria. And I just kept going back and forth. And so I knew the euphoria, this was the right step for me, but it was my old self just saying, "You're going to starve to death."
Jenna: Yeah. And everyone's going to tell you how foolish you were and why did you spend this much, and I remember that so well. I love that visual of the pendulum. I think every single person can relate to it. I can, I certainly can. So let's just walk through some of the things, some of the main shifts that were going on throughout the program. So when we first started working together, I think that you were doing $95 an hour was your price point. Wasn't it like that?
Carrie: Actually, it was less. I think I was closer to 65, and I was still in that scarcity mindset. And I remember very clearly you said, "What's the risk of charging more?" And I rattled those answers off very easily. And then you asked me, "What's the risk of charging less?" And it was again, one of those light bulb moments of something that I had just never even considered in terms of would people see me as a liability or that my services don't go above and beyond. And that was a huge shift for me.
Jenna: Yeah. I remember one of the stories you told me that I use so much in my life now that I think about, and it was about buying the expensive hummus. Do you remember?
Carrie: Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Jenna: Can you tell it quickly?
Carrie: My mom was visiting from out of town, and we have a great little grocery store with locally sourced things, and I said, "Oh, you have to try this hummus. It's the best." And I was planning to treat her to some travel snacks and whatnot, and she said, "Oh, I just can't stomach the idea of you spending $7.99 cents on hummus."
Jenna: So good. It's one of those light bulb moments. I get it too with my mom where I'm like, ding, ding, ding. And that's part of why I think this way.
Carrie: Yeah.
Jenna: So good. So how did it work for you to move to the place where you would recoup your investment with one client?
Carrie: I really had to do a lot of the internal work. And I remember you said it might have been in our first coaching call together that there's no greater spiritual journey than entrepreneurship. And that really carried me through because a lot of what I perceived as adversity and that I was not on the right path where I was doing things wrong was actually the growth that I needed. I needed to face my past because it kept manifesting in my future a lot of those fears and fears of mistakes.
And so just working through that and choosing to let it go really just set me free and on a much more productive path. And then the knowing yourself, part of the Clarity Accelerator was so awesome because we think we know ourselves, but there are parts of ourselves that are just so ingrained that we don't even recognize them. So I remembered in one of the exercises getting feedback from several people that I was adventurous. And I just thought that was so interesting because I don't consider myself adventurous, but I'm just so adventurous, I don't realize I'm adventurous again.
Jenna: Yes. Yes. We don't know our secret sauce because it's so normal to us.
Carrie: Right. Yes. And so there was a lot of parts of myself that I didn't recognize were there, or I was really undervaluing. And yes, I loved the secret sauce. It was just so fun to really learn those strengths and how to play on them, and just that uniqueness that makes you, you, no one else's you.
Jenna: Yes. I love it. So you took that and you combined it with a few other things. I think there was also, well, we haven't even touched on the fact yet, that you created a completely new industry.
Carrie: Oh, yeah. Yep.
Jenna: So let's talk about that. So you were doing KonMari organizing, right?
Carrie: Mm-hmm.
Jenna: Home organizing. And as we did the connect the dots work, and as you were doing the secret sauce work, you were realizing there was actually a deeper meaning to what you were doing and why, and that your clients would want to be working on that. They didn't want a part of you, they wanted all of your mission. Okay. Tell us about that.
Carrie: So when I was working with clients, I was noticing it's not about the stuff. There's something much, much deeper. Our items hold so much meaning. And my favorite part of the organizing, it was just helping walking people through that journey of letting go of things that aren't serving them, and then also being intentional about what brings value to their life and what direction they want to go. And even when we had finished the whole house, it just felt like our work was just beginning.
And so my clients would say, I'm just so bummed that our time together is over. And so it got the wheels turning, and it was at this time I was going through the Clarity Accelerator, and I just had this secret dream of also doing life coaching. And I think I was so shocked by it on our call together, I said, I don't know if I'm ready to say this out loud, but I also want to do life coaching and I want to help people organize their lives as well as their homes.
Jenna: Not just their homes. Yes.
Carrie: Mm-hmm. And that was just the beginning.
Jenna: Yeah. I think I was expecting it that I even say like, "Oh, I'm waiting for you to say that or I had a feeling that was coming."
Carrie: Mm-hmm. You said, "Carrie, I always knew from, I think even the moment we met, that there was more to you than just home organizing." And that was really cool to hear as well.
Jenna: Yes, yes. And not in a disparaging way that home organizing is just home organizing, right?
Carrie: Mm-hmm.
Jenna: But there was always this other component to Carrie that I wanted to bring out and I thought her clients would really appreciate. So now she is a home and life organizer, which I love. And it's such a beautiful tie between we'll start organizing your home but really there's so much more reflected in your life, how you do one thing is how you do everything. And so let's start with the home.
That's a really tangible entry point for us. It'll start bringing up a lot of the things we need to work through. But why not make your whole life as simple and beautiful as your home now is? I get shivers still. I just love that so much. I think everybody and their dog needs this service. It is so good. Our lives, our planet would be so much better if we were all living that way. Okay. So also we can't move on without talking about human design.
Carrie: Yes.
Jenna: If you're comfortable with it.
Carrie: Absolutely.
Jenna: Absolutely.
Carrie: That was another just huge shift for me. I love the human design element of working with you. And I think that really helped me step into my power learning that I was a projector. It explained a lot in terms of not always being understood or often being misunderstood and just seeing things from a different perspective that used to make me feel isolated. And then after working with you, it really made me realize those were my gifts. And that's feeling isolated in that way can be a good thing because not everyone has that skillset and you're there to help them.
Jenna: Yes. Exactly. So for those of you that don't know about human design, a projector type is a person who has this innate wisdom. They just know things, and they're here to bring very specific gifts and knowledge to the world and really to help guide all of the generators and manifesting generators out there, which is the majority of the planet. And so they really are our guides here on earth. And when a projector doesn't know that about themselves, what they're noticing instead is that they have all these good ideas or they really see how things should be done, it's so very clear for them. So many people just aren't paying attention. And it turns out it's designed to work that way. They're meant to connect with the people who can hear them on that frequency, and they're just like the lighthouse.
So they don't have to go out and really do anything. They just have to be in their truth speaking. And I equate it often to the Buddha, just sitting under the Bodhi tree, and yet people found it. And so when they're in that energy, they start receiving interest and invitations from people. And then I know many very successful projectors, and I know that I also tend to attract them. We have several of them in the Clarity Accelerator. And it's fun for you guys to find each other and be able to compare notes and feel that support, I think. Would you say that?
Carrie: Oh, absolutely. That's one thing I was not expecting from your program at all. I think even initially I said, "I don't know how I feel about the group coaching. I want more one-on-one time with you, Jenna." And the amount that I learned in the group coaching was just beyond anything that just working one-on-one that we would've covered because there's different human design types and then also people were in different stages of their business.
So if someone was asking for coaching on something and they were much further headed than I was, I was getting that coaching now. And so I didn't have to go through those rabbit holes and try to navigate all of that. So that's something that surprised me was the group coaching and just the amazing benefit of it. And then like you said, the connections. I'm still in touch with a lot of the original Clarity Accelerator group, and we plan to meet in person next year, which is pretty cool.
Jenna: I love that. I didn't know it. That's so fun. And yeah, I haven't mentioned that Carrie was actually in the very first inaugural round of the Clarity Accelerator. So it has transformed a little bit since you were there, but you really got to see it at the ground level and I believe help it grow into what it is, 100%. Yes.
Carrie: Thank you.
Jenna: Yes, absolutely. And going back to human design, just want people to know that part of the beauty that I see is that whether you believe, "Yes, 100%, I am a projector," or you say, "Interesting, this chart says that I'm a projector. I guess that I can take these aspects of it and that would be a nice way to think about myself. I think I'll keep that." Either way it serves you, which is so fun. So how do you think knowing about this, about human design and about being a projector has served you in your business? Has you showing up differently tangibly? What might it look like?
Carrie: Prior to learning about my human design type, I did struggle with confidence and showing up confident in my business and then learning about my authority, which is waiting for the invitation. So rather than trying to impose my ideas on others, I just wait for them to invite me. And that has completely changed those moments of self-doubt where I'm like, "Wow, they really weren't listening to my ideas here because I was trying too hard to send that message and now I just wait to be asked." And so I feel much more confident, if that makes sense.
Jenna: Yes. And it's really hard. Every projector has this quandary in the beginning of what does that look like? It doesn't feel right to be so passive, or they perceive it as passive. And also, does that mean I can't do anything? Do I just have to sit on my sofa? And that's not it at all. It's really owning the fact of the ways people are inviting you and, I would say, showing up as your best self in those venues. Is that how you would experience it?
Carrie: Absolutely. Yes. Interestingly, I had someone text me to my work line and it was a wrong number, and somehow, we just continued communicating throughout the day like, "Oh, it wasn't... No big deal. Your message gave me a giggle." And just connecting with someone over a wrong number, and we still stay in touch several weeks later. It's just this quiet knowing of, "Oh yes, okay, I'm connecting with this person. They have invited me."
Jenna: Yes. Yes. So good. And talk to us about the rest component, because that is so big for projectors.
Carrie: Oh, yeah. Wow. I had a lot of guilt around self-care, I think, and taking the time for myself because when I'd compare myself to others, they did not need as much sleep as I did. They did not need as much downtime, time to recuperate or time between a lot of travel or larger social engagements and those types of things.
Jenna: Or client appointments maybe.
Carrie: Client appointments, yes, absolutely. And so I just felt like I needed to just suck it up and do what everyone else is doing is how it felt. And then learning that my magic, I guess, really comes through when I rest and I have that quiet time. And then also time to just relax and play is when those great ideas come into my mind. And so giving myself permission for that and also being very proactive in it. So I actually put on my calendar, I call it projector time, and it's an hour or it's three hours depending on how the week has been. And that's my to-do list is just get some reading, go for a walk, make a fun meal. And I treat it as if it were any other meeting.
Jenna: Oh, Carrie, gosh, you were just so good. This is such a prime example of how I want people to transform through this work together. And I'm not one of those people that says, "Nothing will happen for you if you're not in alignment." I really believe you could hustle your way in business. We'd get results. It's okay. And yet it doesn't have to be that way. And it can be even so much better when you are in this place.
Carrie: Absolutely. It has created just a quiet knowing that if this next phone call, this potential client doesn't want to sign on, that's okay because there are plenty of clients out there, and there's really no reason to be discouraged. It just wasn't the right fit at that time.
Jenna: Yeah. So good. So good. So now being where you are and what has shifted for you in the past year, what do you see for yourself going forward?
Carrie: I'm excited to tell you that I have signed on with The Life Coach School.
Jenna: Oh, really? How fun.
Carrie: Yeah.
Jenna: Oh, great. Okay. I love it. When do you start?
Carrie: I started three weeks ago.
Jenna: Oh my goodness. So good. So The Life Coach School is where I was certified later in my career, but it was a place that I knew that I needed to avail myself of in order to enhance my coaching skills. And so I love that you loved that method as much as I did.
Carrie: Yeah. The thought work.
Jenna: And that you’re taking it on.
Carrie: Yeah. The thought work that you'd done.
Jenna: Oh, so nice.
Carrie: Yeah. It was.
Jenna: And so in terms of your business then, growing out your business with this also under your belt, what do you see for your business going forward? What do you see for you?
Carrie: I'm launching a goals program at the start of next year to just really empower people to see what might be possible for themselves. And having been through this last year with you, Jenna, and seeing results that I never could have imagined, I just want to share my experience with others and inspire them to do the same. So I'm doing a goals program and I just feel like the opportunities are infinite, whereas before I felt like I didn't have options.
Jenna: Oh my gosh. I love that. And I love that I have been so influenced by so many amazing women and that has allowed me to influence women who will be influencing more people, male or female, or non-gender.
Carrie: Yeah.
Jenna: Oh, I'm so excited. And I hope there will be plenty of $7 hummus in your future.
Carrie: Oh, yeah.
Jenna: So, so good. So let's talk about your business a little bit just so that people can listen in if they're interested in this for themselves or for somebody they know. What is so hard about being in that place for your clients before they come to you? What's it for them?
Carrie: It's really a tough environment. Most of my clients are not able to relax in an environment that ideally should rejuvenate them. And so they come home from their stressful lives and they're in an environment that is also very stressful with clutter and projects and just this heavy weight of almost reminders of all the things that they're not doing or maybe feeling like they're mismanaging their life in some way. And it's really common to feel down on yourself when you're living in that space. Yeah.
Jenna: Yeah. Yeah. So what do you think that's costing them that they don't even realize they have a certain amount of pain, but are there other things going on that you end up being able to point out to them?
Carrie: Yeah. Kind of linking together some small things. For example, I've worked with clients that have mentioned, "Yeah. I have some fight or flight," or they have issues with TMJ, which can obviously lead to some very costly dental procedures, unfortunately. And that's just in the financial tangible sense, but it's also costing them quality time with their family because they're stressed and feeling like they need to fluster about and run from one fire to the next and put their energies there.
I've had clients tell me that after working together, they're just able to sit on the couch as a family and watch a show together and not feel distracted by the projects and the cluttering the things that they need to do.
Jenna: Wow. Yeah. That is priceless, right? That's what it's about.
Carrie: Yeah.
Jenna: And I would imagine for those of them working outside the home that they're bringing that energy from the home, and then they already start off on a bad footing as they're even driving into work.
Carrie: Mm-hmm. Yeah. I have had a client, she mentioned that she had to leave the house in such a hurry. She got to work late and was wearing two different shoes.
Jenna: Oh my gosh. Yeah. Yeah. And if that's not the kind of thing that makes you just go, "What is going on here?" Yeah. And so then was there somebody you mentioned that had been snapping at their partner or their child or something feeling frustrated about something or whose job it was to deal with X or Y in their house?
Carrie: Yeah. One of my clients, she mentioned the mornings were incredibly chaotic for her and there would be tension between her and her husband about who needed to do what to help get their young son ready for school. And so the mornings just started out very frustrated. They also couldn't navigate around their kitchen very easily to even get coffee, which is important, especially when you have little ones.
And then that energy's just carried into their morning. And so when their son doesn't want to put his shoes on, there's frustration, there's tone, and they just felt like they were leaving the house in a frenzy and hoping that he had enough for breakfast and it was a very tough point for them.
Jenna: Yeah. And wasn't there also somebody... Because not all of your clients, it's not like they're hoarders. A lot of them just want that look and lifestyle that maybe they see on Instagram. And wasn't there somebody who didn't want to have people over guests for dinner parties or something because it would involve so much cleaning or organizing or something?
Carrie: Yes. Oh, yes. When I asked her how this was impacting her and her social life, she just mentioned, "I really hesitate to invite people over because I end up just panic cleaning and just shoving stuff into the guest bedroom anywhere it will fit. I just have to hide things. And then even when it does look nice on the outside, I'm still really nervous when people are over because I'm afraid they might get a glimpse of my real life."
Jenna: Oh, "My real life." And I love that term, panic cleaning.
Carrie: Yeah.
Jenna: Love it. So, so good. So first tell us, what have they told you is different about their life? Some little details you just gave us examples of having people over or something or sitting with the family. Give us some more. What's the after?
Carrie: My clients, their shopping habits completely changed. So not only do we work through the home and bring the number of items down to a manageable level, but the way that those items make their way into our lives completely changes. I had a client text me, she was at Walmart, she said, "Normally, I would just grab the candle and I'd put it in the cart, but I held it and I said, 'Do I really need this? Do I like this enough?'" And then she was also able to say, "Oh, wait, I have six more candles at home that I need to use." And she put it back on the shelf. And so that was a real aha moment for her that she took the time to just text me and tell me exactly what happened.
Jenna: Yeah. That is everything. Because if you can do that with one small thing, think over the course of the year how many useless, crappy pieces of whatever you bought that really don't end up fulfilling you.
Carrie: Yeah. It seems shiny and new at the time. And that can also happen when the things that we do care about are buried in clutter.
Jenna: So good. So what is maybe one piece of advice or a new thought or something that you could give to people that are feeling any sort of recognition with this pattern that your clients are in?
Carrie: I think one thing that's really tricky is we tell ourselves that we don't have time. And I just encourage people to tell yourself that, "You do have time. If you don't have time or if you tell yourself that you don't have time, you won't look for time." And so that's been a big shift with my clients as well, is saying, "Okay. I don't need to block off seven hours, but if I could find 15 minutes to put the laundry away." Just believing that you do have time and then creating those opportunities to just do something small.
Jenna: So Carrie, before we hop off, is there anything else that you want to say or share with our listeners?
Carrie: If you're on the fence about building an uncommon business, your dreams are waiting, your life is waiting, start being the CEO of it.
Jenna: And make some great decisions. I love that, Carrie.
Carrie: Yeah. Yeah.
Jenna: Yeah, yeah. Thank you so much. So good. So where can people find you?
Carrie: I am on Instagram, which has been really fun for me. I've never really had social media prior to having this business, so it's really been a fun, creative space for me. So I'm at Elevated Home Organizing. And then I also have a website, which you might enjoy checking out to say wait for the old one, it's elevatedhomeorganizing.com.
Jenna: Yes. And I love that I just did a podcast on how you don't need social media for your business, and I'm planning on a follow-up one about how you can also love social media for your business. So I love that you're coming in at the perfect time. And the way you just described it is that it's so much fun and creative.
Carrie: Yeah.
Jenna: Yeah. And interestingly enough, I do notice that my projectors, to answer that question again of, "Do you just need to sit on the sofa?" You guys seem to just be killing it on Instagram so naturally and so easily. So I love that you're able to shine there and you really, you guys have got to check this out because it is so fun just looking at the befores and afters and the creative ways that Carrie sharing this. It's just social media candy.
It's like the thing you want to do when you've been feeling a little stressed and you want to look at cat videos or something, go look at Carrie's feed because it's so nice. You feel cleaner after looking at it. Oh, and we haven't mentioned the most important thing, which is that you work online. So people may think that home organizing the home organizer comes to my house and that's an option for you. You do travel as well.
Carrie: I do.
Jenna: But you're also available to work online and you can help people in real time with their items without actually being in the house, right?
Carrie: Right. So that can be helpful in terms of scheduling and fitting in those quicker sessions if you're not quite ready maybe for in-person intensive.
Jenna: Yes. Yes. So if any of you are with partners and you want to give them a good Valentine's idea for yourself, that would be a great one. Just saying. All right. My friends, I am so happy to touch base with you again, Carrie, and see you. I'm so excited for everything going on.
Carrie: Thank you, Jenna. It's been so fun to just share all the new things and just take a look back at how things have transformed. So thank you so, so much. It's been so fun to be here and having this opportunity to know you.
Jenna: Bye.
Carrie: Bye.
Hey, if you're a coach who wants true clarity about your secret sauce, your people, your best way of doing business, and how you talk about your offer, then I invite you to join us in the Clarity Accelerator. I'll teach you to connect all the dots; the dots that have always been there for you. So that you can show up like you were born for exactly this. Come join us and supercharge every other tool or tactic you'll ever learn, from Facebook ads to manifestation. Just go to TheUncommonWay.com/schedule and set up a time to talk. I can't wait to be your coach.
Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business in life, including the Clarity First Strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit the uncommonway.com. See you next time.
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Ep #24: Finding Your People with Geraldine Mok
I realized recently that I don’t give you enough examples of how other women have made the choice to get clear in their businesses, then gotten clear, and transformed their businesses and selves into uncommon things of beauty as a result. So I’m committing to bringing you more interviews with women who have done this to help you adopt as many tips and ideas as possible to apply in your own business, and I’m starting this week with an interview with my client Geraldine Mok.
Episode Summary
Jenna and Geraldine Mok dive deeper into what it really takes to find your people in your business.
Get clear on what you offer to whom and how to talk about it … plus actually believe it. Join us in our Clarity Accelerator 60-day bootcamp by scheduling a call here.
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If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.
Show Notes
Have you ever felt called out by some of my earlier episodes around knowing your people? Have you realized that you don’t actually know yours and find yourself hiding, lurking, and observing versus asking the tough questions to make them tick? You’re in luck, as that’s exactly what today’s guest found herself experiencing before she joined The Clarity Accelerator and learned to figure out her people.
I realized recently that I don’t give you enough examples of how other women have made the choice to get clear in their businesses, then gotten clear, and transformed their businesses and selves into uncommon things of beauty as a result. So I’m committing to bringing you more interviews with women who have done this to help you adopt as many tips and ideas as possible to apply in your own business, and I’m starting this week with an interview with my client Geraldine Mok.
Join us this week and hear where Geraldine was at in her life and business before she joined The Clarity Accelerator and why she decided to take the next step and join. Geraldine shares how she learned to find her people and start bringing clients in, her experience of pivoting her niche and getting to know her ideal client, and how the shifts that Geraldine experienced are also available to you.
What You’ll Learn From This Episode:
The best gift I could give you this holiday period.
How Geraldine has created clarity out of uncertainty.
What being so connected to our phones and technology is truly costing us.
Some of the subtleties you need to go to in order to find your people.
Why I know Geraldine is going to be such a successful entrepreneur.
What the “Connect the Dots” method is and how you can use it in your business.
The reservations Geraldine had about working with me and how she made the decision to proceed anyway.
Listen to the Full Episode:
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Geraldine Mok: Email
Full Episode Transcript:
Woman to woman, no shame. Have you felt a little called out by some of my earlier episodes that have to do with knowing your people? Have you been realizing that you really don't know yours? And maybe, you've even been hiding from them a little, kind of lurking and observing, rather than asking those tough questions to really see what makes them tick?
Or, maybe you've been listening to and talking to people that are less than ideal, because you're in this more passive energy of, “Well, that's what we got. That's who's coming to me. I don't believe those people are really out there.”
That's exactly what was going on with today's guest. And she's here to tell her story about her decision to get clear on her people, and how to communicate with them. And how quickly she has turned things around in her business, based on the strength of that decision and commitment.
You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life, by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top ranked business coach and reformed overanalyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.
Jenna Harrison: Hey, welcome back to The Uncommon Way. For those of you who celebrate Christmas, Happy Christmas Eve. I've been gearing up for a few weeks now, by making myself eggnog lattes and half decorating the house, as is my custom. I get about halfway through, and then I'm like, “Bleh, boring,” and stop.
I'm starting to think about a destination for my next summer trip to Europe, which is something I do this time of year. I have this fear that everyone starts booking Airbnb’s right after the New Year. So, you know, I want to jump on the Airbnbs; it's like I have total Airbnb scarcity. Kidding, not kidding.
Oh, okay. And I can't resist sharing what my five-year-old, Dylan, wants for Christmas. You ready for this? An amethyst crystal. Yes. So, I am not someone that has been into crystals or has used crystals. But I had a coach this last year who really was. And so, I thought, “What the heck, I'll give it a try.” I went to the local crystal shop; yes, believe it or not, even here in cow country Pennsylvania, where we are stationed, there is a local crystal shop. I love it.
And so, I went there and I picked out some crystals that, you know, caught my attention. And one of them was… Do you know when they take a rock and they break it open, and there's that crystalline structure, that jagged edge? This was an amethyst. So, I got one of those. And Dylan, has fallen in love with it. It is so funny; he sneaks into my office to take it.
I'll be like, “Alright, who took the crystal? Dylan put the crystal down. Put it back in the office.” He loves it. And so, finally he said to me, “Mama, can I have a crystal for Christmas? Can you get me one?” And I mean, how am I going to say no to that little face and that super cute request? So, I was like, “Okay, of course, I'll get you a crystal.” I think I'm gonna run out, after I do this, and get that for him. So, fun.
But I have also been thinking about you a lot, recently. And, how you don't want to keep muddling around. Right? Wondering if you're really locked into what you should be helping people with? If you should be talking to a different type of person? If what you're saying is even connecting? You definitely don't want that for 2023.
And a couple of you I've talked to you recently, are like, “I want to know, that when January's here, I already have that coaching call with you scheduled. That change is happening.” It's that sense of wanting more depth in your offer, more certainty about your direction. You want to know your messaging is tight; tight and in integrity. You deserve that sense of peace, and the focus and the confidence that brings; I know this about you.
I know you know that you have so much potential, you're so capable. You just need to straighten out some things in your mind about what you're doing, and also about in what ways you're getting in your way. So, thinking through all this, that's what I did on my plane ride home from seeing my dad a few days ago. That, and I rewatched Crazy Rich Asians and Girl with a Pearl Earring, also.
But as I was thinking through all this… And the highest value way, is to help you move into those results you want. I realized, that sharing client stories is the best gift that I could give you for this holiday period. I don't do it enough. I don't give you enough examples of how other women have made the choice to get clear and then gotten clear. And how they've transformed their businesses and themselves into such cool, uncommon things of beauty.
I don't do it because I always get these brain flashes of ideas that I want to share with you, and then I act swiftly on that right? I put it out while I'm still all lit up. But I know that stories serve, right? This is how humans are wired. And I felt it myself, over and over. I can remember so many interview-style podcasts where I felt like, “Wow, it never occurred to me to think of it in that way.”
So, I am committing to sharing more stories with you. I'll be bringing on some clients, and they're at different stages in their businesses, wildly different revenue points, so that you can see how clarity gaps affect us at different stages. And also, so you can adopt as many of the thoughts and ideas, of these women, as you can.
This is why the community aspect of the Accelerator is so key, in my opinion, right? Because it's collaboration, and it's amplification of that energy. Right? That energy transfers. You know the saying, “That you become who you surround yourself with.” It's support, it's camaraderie, it's motivation.
When you're surrounded by these smart, ambitious people who raise the bar, then you rise to the occasion. And it is exclusive, quite honestly. Not everyone is building a business like this, prioritizing things like clarity and alignment and satisfaction, and walking your own uncommon way. Plus, I've been interviewing potential clients for so long, that I know who's capable of hitting the ground running and who might not be. And, that's a win for the group.
It's also a win for the individual, because they're not going to invest in a mastermind and then ghost it. I am so excited about what's to come for the collective, over the next months. It's funny, because I can remember so many times in my business being like, “I brought in the best clients.” But right now, better than ever; I am so thrilled about the talent and heart and brains. And just, I don't know, high caliber go-getter-ness. Is that a thing? Of this newest crop; it's gonna be crazy.
I'm just thrilled that we're creating something that's never been done before. This group of women, this legacy of women, who know and are acting out their meta theme, their unique mission in the world. And all the decisions they make and actions they take are aligned to that true sense of self and sense of mission. Where every bit of the business is intentional and in full integrity.
And, it makes sense. It's such a thrill to see it coming to life every day. Like, I just got a note from Geraldine, whom you'll hear from today, and she was saying, “I just had this brain flash.” Like, this process that she had created, she was calling it “Reset,” a reset process. But she realized that if she just changed that to “respect”, it would be so much more aligned with her theme.
And, this is what we want to do. We want to make every part of our business just like, live and breathe us and our truth, and what we're really here to express. It's such a thing of beauty. So, that is really our work, right? Becoming further and further aligned in our true work in the world. Doing it our way, rather than someone else's way. Because that's what the world needs more of. And also, that shit’s magnetic, let's just say.
So yes, I'll be bringing on all different clients for you to meet and learn from. It's going to be fantastic for you to have some of that group energy extend out to you as well, which I know it will. And today, we are talking to Geraldine Mok, who hasn't even completed her first round of the Accelerator yet, but has already used it so well to reinvent her business, really.
And if she can create this clarity, out of uncertainty, in just two months, it's absolutely available to you, too. And listen in next week, because Carrie Coffin is coming on and she was in the very first round of the Accelerator, when it started in, I guess, February of 2022. So, you'll see how her business has grown since then; she's had a longer time to do it.
But back to Geraldine. I'd love for you to take away any and all insights about the action she was taking, the thought she was having, the shifts that were happening. Like I said, I can't think of a better year-end gift to give you. I'll let you know we had some audio issues with Zoom. It sounds kind of like a vibration now and then, but they are minimal.
Geraldine’s story, and just the way she so matter of factly moves through her own resistance, and keeps honing her messaging again and again, I really think you'll enjoy this. So, without further ado, let's dive in. Hi, Geraldine.
Geraldine Mok: Hi, Jenna. Thanks for having me here.
Jenna: Yeah, absolutely. So, I thought we could just go back, like rewind the clock, and just think about, really what was going on with you, in your life at that time, that made you decide to get on a call and talk to me about the Clarity Accelerator?
Geraldine: Sure. So, when I first reached out to you, I had been on this entrepreneurship journey for about five to six months. I started off by buying a pretty well-established course. I went through everything, but very quickly, I realized that if I want to be serious about getting this business up, I need to get one-on-one support.
Interestingly, from where I am right now, I did go back to look at the course, and a lot of things really make sense to me now. Just because I've been on this journey for a couple of months now. But at that point in time, when I look at it, yes, the steps are clear. It makes sense. I know that the strategy, it's all well tested, right? So, a lot of people benefit from that. But now, on hindsight, I realize that the mindset piece was the biggest part, was not available from the course. Right.
And now that, you know, like, having worked with you, and having worked with another coach previously, I realize that mindset, is probably like 80% to 90% of this entrepreneurship journey. So, that is something that you cannot get equally from a course. That's what I realized.
Jenna: Yeah, absolutely. So, what was going on with your business at that time, then? You'd taken a course. You decided to get some one-to-one support. And, you started working with another coach.
Geraldine: Yeah. So, after two months into that course, on my own, I didn't do anything. I didn't take action. Yeah. So, that was the time when I realized that if I want to get serious about building a business, I needed one-on-one support. So, I reached out to a coach whom I resonated with. It was a lot of action taking, but now, I remember that when I first reached out to her, the first thing I told her was that, can we all meet market research?
So, from the course, I learned that, or rather, what I heard was that, you know, like, you can do online research and in-person market research, that sounded like something optional. Yeah. So, give yourself two weeks to do that, to not get stuck. Right. I think the whole aim was to just move through this very quickly. Yeah, so that you can start building your business very quickly.
And I remember the coach, one of her copy, I remember very clearly is that, you know, like, let's assess if anything is causing you overwhelm; we will take that off your plate. And when I read that, that felt very comforting to me. Like, “Okay, if I don't have to do market research, I can totally omit that.” So, I remember that was the first thing I told her. And she was like, “Okay, cool. Well, let's skip that.”
Jenna: Yes. So, what was going on in your business when we were talking? Like, what actions were you taking? What kind of clients were you bringing in or not bringing in? Just paint the picture there.
Geraldine: Yeah, so definitely no clients. In fact, I didn't speak to a single, real person at all, by the time I met with you. So, when I first reached out to you, I have been with my coach for about four months. And we were trying out different ways to get visibility, like on Facebook groups. I even started an Instagram account, to just you know, explore. And that's where I met you, actually.
And I also reached out for podcasting and guest blogging opportunities. I even created a lead magnet.
Jenna: Tell us about that.
Geraldine: Yeah, so the strategy was to, you know, have a landing page. And, you know, like, everything on a lead magnet was just, you know, thoughts and ideas that came out from my head, which I thought would resonate with people I wanted to reach out to. But obviously, after going through the Clarity Accelerator, I realized that that was not the right way to do it.
Jenna: Yes. Did you have many people on your list?
Geraldine: Eight people.
Jenna: Yeah. And, you hadn’t actually spoken to a person. And you were trying all sorts of things, to give us a bone. Which I think, is something we can all relate to, in the beginning. And so, how were you feeling about that?
Geraldine: Yeah, I felt very uncertain that if I were to continue with what I was doing, I would ever get to sign client, or ever get to have someone reach out to me to say, “Let's hop on a call.” Right? Yeah, so I think there's a lot of action taking, but I just felt very uncertain that I'm going in the right direction.
Jenna: Were you thinking that maybe, that isn't possible in this industry? Or, were you thinking, maybe it's something with me, that I'm not cut out to be an entrepreneur? How did that show up for you?
Geraldine: It felt like a chore to put out posts on Facebook groups and on Instagram. Yeah. So, being someone who is focused and determined, and you know, like really wanting to get this, you know, off the ground, I thought to myself that, “Okay, I'm gonna commit to posting three times a week.” And it became more of like, an obligation that I have, towards building this business, than coming from a place of fun, curiosity, or just being like exploratory.
I think like, I just got pretty drained by all these activities. And I had thoughts around, whether I chose the right niche, and am I speaking to the right people? Am I making sense to them? So, it was a lot of like, yeah,…
Jenna: I remember it so well. And, that does sound so frustrating. But I think it's interesting that we all take a slightly different take on it. Right? And some of us will think, “Oh, well, it's the industry that doesn't work.” Some of us think, “Maybe it's just not the fit for me.”
So, at this point, were you thinking, “I'm doing so much. It must be really hard, and I'm not going to enjoy that in my life. So therefore, it probably won't work. I'd have to work so much harder to actually, you know, make the business successful.” What were you fearing about the future when you were at that point?
Geraldine: Well, the first fear, was that am I wasting my money. Am I wasting money to pursue this? And, is it even possible to ever sign a client? Much less, you know, like, replacing my corporate salary?
Jenna: Yeah, I think so many people can relate to that. And just to let everybody know, Geraldine is in Singapore, she has a young daughter, she has a full-time job. And so, there's a lot going on. I mean, even to make our calls you were getting up at midnight, right? Or, you were staying up until 11 or midnight, in order to do it.
And I really think that speaks to why you'll be such a successful entrepreneur. Is that level of, even when I'm having all these thoughts and concerns and worries, I'm still willing to completely show up and just keep trying one more thing.
In your mind, I don't know, in your mind, you might have been thinking, “I'm just going to try the Clarity Accelerator; that's my last thing.” But I have a feeling that even if that hadn't worked, you would have tried one more thing? I don't know. I think that's part of your mindset and your personality. What do you think, though?
Geraldine: Yeah, I think that is really spot on. So, instead of like, thinking that, you know, this whole thing doesn't work. I was just thinking about, “What else have I not tried? What else do I not know? What have I missed?” And obviously, by now, I know that I missed out on the market research. Which is such an important piece, right at the start of the business.
Jenna: Yes. It's like, you look around and you're like, “Wait a minute, if they all can do it, why can't I do it, too? I've got to be able to figure this out.” Did you ever have those thoughts?
Geraldine: To some extent, yes. But it's more of like, you know, like, I see this as a personal development journey, as well. So, I'm just thinking like, you know, like, “What else am I missing out? What else could I have learned? What else can I still learn?” And you know, that's how I found you.
Jenna: So, let's talk about that, then. So, you found me and you started listening to the podcast, which had just begun; this was a brand-new podcast. What was resonating, in those topics, with you? Were there any episodes that you want to direct people to, if this is the first time they've ever listened to the podcast?
Geraldine: Yeah. So, if anyone is in the same place where I was a few months ago, I would definitely recommend the first episode, “The Clarity Gap”, “Knowing Your People 101”, “5 Steps to Nailing Your Messaging” and also, the podcast on “Birthday Cake Strategy”
Jenna: Okay, great. Thanks. So, it's so interesting, because obviously I have this three-step process, right? It's know yourself, know your people, and then speak to how those two connect. And some people really come to me from the first part, from the clarity angle. They really want to know, “I could earn money, but I want to know what my thing is,” right? Where's my edge? And, what am I really here to do? It's really about the clarity.
And then, some people, like you, come to me because you're thinking like, “Who is my niche? Who are my people? And how do I articulate the value to those people?” Right? How do I, then bring on clients? So, you were in that second camp. And so, it's so interesting that most of the episodes you're pointing out, are on that topic.
Geraldine: Yeah, definitely. I didn't know how to do any of those three.
Jenna: Yeah, and we have definitely incorporated all of them. And we'll tell people about that; how your business has developed and changed. But I just want to get really real first, and just ask if there were any reservations you had about working with me or taking this step, that others can relate to? And, how do you work through them?
Geraldine: Yeah, sure. So, when I first met with you, right, like what I mentioned, I was really working with a coach on a one-on-one basis. And we have been working together for about four months, by then. So definitely, there was a really long relationship. Right? So, my thought was that, “Am I betraying my coach?”
Jenna: That’s a good point.
Geraldine: Approaching another coach.
Jenna: Yeah, I didn’t think about that. Because I've always had this mentality, I've always worked with different coaches at once and found that really successful for me. So, that wouldn't come to mind. But I can absolutely understand.
Geraldine: Yes, so I struggled a bit, about, you know, should I get her advice? Should I let her know that I'm going to join this group program? So, I had a bit of like, mental drama. I was also able to, like, talk myself out of it. Because, you know, in this industry, they always say that we are the CEO of our business, of our own life, so I was just putting myself in that position, and just thinking, “You know, if I feel so uncertain, and I'm not sure whether what I'm doing is correct. And you know, like, it looks like there is a solution out there for me; which Jenna has that solution. So, as the CEO, wouldn't I then do the best thing for myself, and try out that solution?”
Jenna: You decided to make a business decision. I think that's a really important thing for us to highlight; you chose to make a business decision.
Geraldine: Yes, definitely. So, what I did, was that we hopped on that call, and I agreed, on the call, to join the Clarity Accelerator. And at my next call with my coach, because our coaching package still happen, and we had another six weeks to go. I remember at the next call, I just told my coach that, “By the way, I joined this group coaching program,” because, you know, I feel so good and called towards that program, I just sign up. And by the way, what we did, you know, like what I've learned from them, and I'm going to pick up my niche.
Jenna: I love that, by within just a week or two, you're like, “And, I'm pivoting.”
Geraldine: Yes. Yes. Correct. And interestingly, she saw the shift in me as well, after I pivoted.
Jenna: So, she was all for it. Do you think that that conversation went well? Was she like, “Okay, let's do it. Let's keep going.”
Geraldine: Yeah, she was supportive. There was no like, adverse reaction from her, which I really appreciate. Like, she respects my position. And when I told her about, you know, the clarity thoughts method… I distilled down to this theme, and I'm moving forward with this niche. She was like, “Okay, that is a good decision.” And she really saw the shift, as well.
Jenna: I love it. And, I think this is so fun. Because another thing going on in your life, that we haven't mentioned yet, is that you were in hiding from your company, right? You didn't want to be on LinkedIn, you didn't want to be out in the open about your business. And so, you were living this double life, and you also felt guilt.
So, we're seeing this theme, right? Because you were feeling potential guilt about the coach you were working with, and then you were feeling some guilt about the company, as well, and building your business on the side. But then, you now have declared to your company what you're doing and you've actually filed the legal framework for your business, right? Yeay.
Geraldine: Yes. Thank you.
Jenna: They were okay with it, right?
Geraldine: Yeah, they are. My boss is okay. And we just went through that declaration process, and it was just approved; no drama. All the drama is in my own head.
Jenna: Yes. It's so fun how much time and bandwidth… It's not fun, of course. But it's fun to look back on the time and the bandwidth and the worry that we put ourselves through. And in the end, people are just like, “Okay, no problem.”
I see that too, with clients, for instance. They're going to raise a price, or they're maybe going to tell current clients that they're raising their prices for the next round. And then, so often, it's just non-issue. And yet, they spent all this time worrying about it. And it was really their worry that was projected, it had nothing to do with reality.
Geraldine: Yeah, that is so true.
Jenna: So, what were the things then, that you were most excited about, for yourself, with beginning this journey? Like, what would you have, for instance, told your husband about you doing this course? Were you like, “I'm so excited, because I'm going to learn X and Y. It's going to teach me A and B.”
Geraldine: I think everything. So, I was really excited to know myself, know my people. And also, you know, like, speak to how those two connect, which is your tagline. Because firstly, I had doubts about whether it was I in the right niche. So, I started off wanting to help working moms get balance in their lives. Because that was what I helped myself with, in the last couple of years.
And, you know, like, through that course, it’s always like, you know, just help an older version of yourself. That came very naturally to me. But with [inaudible], Facebook posts, as you post over those few months, I really had doubts about whether is this the right niche for me.
And also, know your people; I felt very called out when I listened to your podcast episodes on like, “Knowing Your People 101”, “5 Steps to Knowing Your Messaging”. Because, in my head, is that I really don't know. And I'm also the person who is sitting behind the computer and not talking to real humans.
Jenna: Yes. And I mean, it's just so universal. Every single person I've worked with has been like, “Can I just put it in a Facebook group? Can I just post this in a Facebook group, and see what people answer?” It’s so universal for us to do everything we can to keep ourselves in comfort, because it feels so uncomfortable.
And I think that what I've really tried to do, over my years now of trying to help people through this phase, is to really reframe how we think about that conversation so that it doesn't feel weird that we're having a conversation with a true human; it doesn't feel awkward. But I definitely want to, I know people want to hear about that in the journey, but quickly, let's talk about your niche, and the pivoting.
That really came through the connect the dots, right? So basically, when… For those of you listening for the first time, that connect the dots method is based on this philosophy that you, in hindsight, can easily connect the dots that led you up to where you are. But I believe that the dots are always there; we're in the middle of it, we're too close to it, it's hard for us to see it.
And so, if we can connect those dots, however, if we take a minute and we take a step back, and we look through the themes, then we're able to actually see what was not clear to us before. And that when we do that, and we really know what we're here to do, what our mission is, what our themes are, we can absolutely turn that into a business that we want to create.
So, for Geraldine, when we worked through your themes, we were really starting to see a really strong theme in your life. Right? So, do you want to talk about that, and about your first thoughts about that niche?
Geraldine: A large part of it has to do with like, digital mindfulness. So, I'm someone who actually deleted my, or rather deactivated my Facebook account, in 2017. And, it's only this year that I reactivated the account. Just for the sake of, you know, like building my business and doing market research.
Jenna: You're someone that had already practiced digital mindfulness in your own life. And what we mean by digital mindfulness, is you had shortened the amount of time that you're on your phone; you'd broken that phone addiction.
And, you were really using your phone as a tool; You weren't a slave to your phone. And that freed up so much in your life, to actually be enjoying and mindful of what you really wanted in life, and what you are grateful for in your own life.
Geraldine: Yes, exactly. Exactly.
Jenna: I think what’s so important to point out, Geraldine, because when people tell us, “Oh, just coach what you're passionate about. Follow your passion or follow your bliss.” I remember I did that with travel blogging, and it took what was my bliss and it turned it into something that was just so difficult. And it took all the joy out of traveling for me, because I was constantly doing all the work stuff on my travel trips.
And when people say, “Just teach something that you've experienced in your own life, or that you've been good at.” Well, the truth is, there are lots of things that we've overcome and that we've experienced, but that doesn't necessarily mean that that's your thing. Right?
Like, I always use the example; I overcame being in debt, but I don't want to be a financial counselor. And I think you had established a really good relationship with your daughter, but that doesn't mean you want to be a parenting coach.
Geraldine: Yeah, exactly. So, that was one thing. And then, I also remembered that when I travel, you know, like, even before I had a kid, I didn't want any data, I don't want to be connected, when I'm traveling. So, I think that's pretty unusual, as well. For, you know, like people of this generation, right?
One of my favorite holidays was to Tanzania; that was for my honeymoon. And I really loved it, because even Wi-Fi is so hard to get. You can only get it at the hotel, or, you know, wherever you were staying at. And, we could connect so much in person and with nature. And I really, really loved that. So, I was just thinking, “If only we could bring more of that into our life, in our day-to-day lives, that will be so great.”
Jenna: Yeah, and those were some of the more recent memories that were standing out for you, as you were going through this connect the dots process. But I remember, the most charged memory you had, well, kind of two, both of them, but things that really, really got you charged were, you know, some childhood memories about the parenting dynamic. And also, flash forward to nowadays, being on a train and seeing parents that were not paying attention to their children because they were on their phone.
Geraldine: Yes, yes. So, no judgment, but if we were to look around, I think it's not hard to see, you know, like parents with their children having a meal or traveling on public transport, and then the parent is just like looking at a phone scrolling, scrolling. And sometimes, like when the kid just wants a moment to get the parent’s attention, they might not get it. Right?
So, I was just trying to put myself in the shoes of a child. Because I think we grew up this issue, because there weren't smartphones when we were children. I was just imagining myself in the shoes of that child, who was trying to get his or her parent’s attention, and then the parent is like, looks like they're more interested in the phone than in them. Yeah, was just, you know, like, wondering how would that feel for the child?
Jenna: Yes. And that's why I think this process is so helpful for us. Because anyone could look back on memories, like you're talking about right now, but to get from that memory to now; your niche of helping people with controlling their phone habits and their life through that. That's not necessarily a clear connection.
It's so amazing, because another person would look at that, and think it was all about parenting coaching, right? And they wouldn't have gone deeper, deeper, deeper to finally get to this question of connection, respect, and what really facilitates that in the world. And your belief, is that, what? I mean, what would happen in the world? Well, I'll let you describe it. Tell us about what's possible.
Geraldine: Yeah. So, I think it's really possible for people to be more mindful how, when, and what they use their phones. I know that there can be a lot of FOMO, or fear of missing out, in the online world. But sometimes, you know, like, you could also be missing out on what's happening for you, in your real life, that is playing out right in front of your eyes, as well, if you're too absorbed into the online world.
Jenna: Yes, yes. We know that the online world is designed to be addictive. So, breaking that is not something that comes naturally to our brains, at all. Let's now, with that clarity that you had, let's… Well, first of all, I do want to point out that you didn't just go, “This is it,” and then ride off into the sunset. You were concerned that nobody would actually be interested in that. Right?
Geraldine: Yes.
Jenna: So, you put out a message to your people. Talk us through that, because that's when the market research began. And then, let's move through this, because it's going to be so helpful for people.
Geraldine: Yeah. So, I remember, I first started out with my network. Interestingly, um, the thing that I didn't think about doing when I bought the course, and when I was with my previous coach, right, I didn't even want to tap into my network.
But obviously, you know, like, everyone is using the phone these days. So, definitely, anyone could be my potential market research, as an event. I remember that, you know, like, once I got clear on this niche, that I want to investigate further on, I reached out to my network. And I, you know, I put some descriptors and asked, like, “Hey, is this you? Or, do you know going through that?”
And through that, I got about seven market research opportunities, just through my network. And yeah, I got on a call with all of them; I recorded the calls. But I remember that there was only one person with, you know, like, more pained by the smartphone, whereas everyone else was actually quite okay. Like, the thing that there's no big issue, or this is just the way the world is, right now. There's nothing much we can do.
Jenna: Huge distinction. So, notice, everyone, notice the subtleties that we need to go to, in order to find our people. And, those are not our people. And so many people spend time selling to those people, and trying to convince them why it is a problem, or how their lives could be better. But you didn't do that. What happened after that?
Geraldine: Yeah. So, what happened after that, was that I came to a group call. And then, like, I started having doubts about whether this niche would ever work out. And then, I remember that I got the support from yourself, and also like, the other members. You guys reassured me that, “I'm sure you will be able to get more market research opportunities from people who are pained by this.”
So, what I did next, was that I posted in Facebook groups. I was just guessing, you know, like the descriptors; my best guess, I just posted out to the Facebook group, and immediately I got responses. So, I had five responses, and I managed to have two people get on a call with me. And I remember that one of them seemed so ideal. And the other one, you know, I was like, “Okay, she's pained,” but there are some things that she said that made me realize that, “Okay, maybe she's not my people.”
Jenna: Yes. And that is the work, that level of subtlety. Because so many people, in the beginning are like, “Oh, that person would pay me. That person wants it.” But we kept going deeper and deeper and deeper. And I'm so impressed you did this, because not everyone does. Right? But you kept going with it. So, then what happened next?
Geraldine: Yes. So, I used the voice of the market research participant who came across as super ideal, right? I used her exact words and managed to call in even more people, who are more like my people.
Jenna: Yes. And I don't know if you want to share her name, but I have to tell you, like now, it has become a thing in our group; where we talk about calling in more, Jenna's, I'll just say, or more Geraldine’; we won't say her name. But because this has worked so well for Geraldine, we're like “Nope, just gotta call in more Geraldine’s.” Named after this woman who was so ideal. And so, you went ahead, and then what happened?
Geraldine: Yeah, and interestingly, the responses, I felt that the responses, from the Facebook audience, also shifted. So, in my work, I suppose when it was just like generic descriptors, which we guessed… That these other pain points and this is what they want… What I got, was that, “Yes, this is me, This is me.” And there were a few of them who, even after I reached out via DMs, they didn't respond to hop on a call, which is totally fine.
And when I used like, Geraldine, the name of the lady who was so ideal, then I got like stronger responses from the Facebook audience. It was like, “Oh, this is me. I really want to break this habit.” [Crosstalk].
Jenna: Yeah. And then, they're saying to you, “I've been thinking about this. I've been feeling bad about this. This is something I definitely want to prioritize.” Those are the people that you want to speak to.
Geraldine: Yes, exactly.
Jenna: So, what would you say… I know you're not done with the program. I wanted to bring you on right in the middle, so we have access to all of these details and memory, that make it so juicy for people to see how close they really are. But just now, in these couple of months, it's just kind of a big question, but what is different in your business? What has shifted for you now?
Geraldine: I definitely have grown a lot in just two months, in the Clarity, since I started, than in my first five months before I started on this program. It's a lot easier telling people what I'm doing in my business, because it is something that is so aligned with my identity, right? Like, everyone who knows me, knows that I'm not a social media person. And I'm someone very mindful about how I use my phone.
So. that comes, you know, very naturally, when I tell people that, “Hey, this is what I'm doing for my business,” it's totally aligned with my identity. And like what you mentioned, I'm now able to register and declare my business with my employer.
And that is just so helpful, because this is something that I was struggling with for many months. Even with the previous coach, this was one of the first blocks that I wanted to clear off. But you know, like, we never got to, you know, like getting that cleared. Because, yeah, I hadn't signed on any clients. So, the strategy, that was dead. The only thing about declaring, after you get your first client, because by then that will feel like a real thing.
Jenna: Yes, yes. Whereas, I see it as when you're declared, right, when you are declared, your energy as the CEO shifts, and you show up differently, and you bring on the clients.
Geraldine: Yes. So, now even if, you know, like someone at the workplace knows that I have this side business or coaching business, I think that's totally fine, because I've already declared it with the employer. I'm not afraid.
Jenna: Yes. I love that. So, how are you different now, as a person?
Geraldine: A lot more certainty, a lot more clarity. And now, if someone hops on a call with me, I think within to 10 minutes, I'll be able to tell if this is my people or not. So, I think that is very powerful.
Jenna: Oh, good one. Yes. How does that make you feel then, as a business owner?
Geraldine: A lot more certain, a lot more aligned.
Jenna: Very in control.
Geraldine: Yes. And that confidence is also different once you know, “This is my people. And that person over there, is not, because of some differences in things that they say,” even though they might have the same challenges or pain points.
Jenna: I love it. So, where do you see yourself going forward?
Geraldine: I see myself signing on ideal clients, people whom I would love to work with. And then building a website, a blog, and just feeling really lit up to help people to get back precious time, focus and attention, from their smartphones.
Jenna: And when you're in that space, that's what you end up creating; which is the beautiful thing, right? When you're just in that, “Well, this would be so natural. Of course, there are so many people that want this. Of course, I'm the perfect person to help them.” Of course, now, we're using this language, where you're already speaking to people every day, almost, that are resonating with your message, you're testing your messaging with them.
And so, you know now, that they like what you're saying. You know that they're interested in like, “Okay, well, how can I work with you?” And now, you're at the place where you're like, “Hold on, I'll get in touch.” So nice. So nice. So, let's talk, first of all, where can people find out more about you? Where can they find you, at this stage?
Geraldine: The best place to find me will be through email.
Jenna: Okay, great. We'll put your email in the show notes.
Geraldine: Yeah, just drop me an email, say “Hi”. And then, you know, we can get the conversation going, if that is something that you want solved in your life, as well.
Jenna: Love it. I think you're such an example, to so many people, that you're willing to offer your services right now, without us having built out a website. Like, you have no doubt that you can help the people. You already have a process in place for how you move people through this. And you're just out there serving and ready to help. And, that's a big deal, Geraldine, for a lot of people that aren't willing to do that.
Honor Geraldine for a minute, she doesn't always see it in herself. But it's the same sort of thing about getting up at midnight, being willing to keep going and figure it out. Right? All the ways that you are the achiever that you are, allows the things, that usually are obstacles for people, to just not be obstacles.
Geraldine: Thank you, Jenna.
Jenna: Yes, of course. What do you think is going on for your ideal clients, right now? Let's let people into your world. What do you know about your people and their lives?
Geraldine: My ideal people, they are people who are checking and scrolling on their phones a lot. But deep down, they really wish that they could put it down more often, so that they get to enjoy the calm and the routine of their daily life. Like, just, you know, making coffee. Just enjoying that process without still checking and scrolling on their phone, as they do that.
Jenna: Yeah, it's kind of like knowing this is not what life's about. Right? I’m not really meant to be here on this earth, checking my phone obsessively. Why is it so hard for us?
Geraldine: It's so hard because everything is right there in the phone. Right? So, I was just joking with my husband the other day, that I think a phone, it's not really a phone these days; it’s a lot more than a phone. In fact, we use it for a lot more things than using it as a phone, these days. So, it's really because everything is right there in the phone, and it's just so super accessible.
Jenna: Yeah. What do you think it's costing us to be in this relationship with the online world, with technology? What's it costing us in our lives?
Geraldine: Potentially, memories that you can create in real life, with the person who is right in front of you.
Jenna: Yeah. I feel that, for sure. What else? Can you think of anything else?
Geraldine: Definitely the downtime that you really deserve. Because there's a lot of things going on in the phone, in the online world, and it's just impossible to keep up with everything, all the time. There's always something to do in there. And yeah, but again, downtime is very important for us to rest and recuperate.
So, I think, really setting boundaries and giving yourself that space and time to enjoy your downtime. And just, you know, feel like everything slows down; like in Tanzania, for example. I think this the kind of feeling that I hope to give back to my people more often.
Jenna: And from what you've told me about your people, a lot of them are working, corporate career people, as well. And they feel a lot of pressure from their companies to be on their phone all the time. Right? And so, to always be available, to always be the one to answer quickly, to be the most dedicated and devoted. And you worked through that yourself, for yourself, in your career. And so, I imagine, you tell me though, in terms of what it's costing them, it's costing them a lot of worry and anxiety all the time, being in that space. Yes, or no? You tell me.
Geraldine: Yeah, definitely. Yep. So, I remember there was this person whom I did the market research with. She was telling me she just wished to put on the busy signal; she wants to bring back that busy signal. Like, even when she goes on holiday, she's still telling people that, “You know, you can still reach me through my phone, if you really need to.” But then, she was telling me, that deep down, she really doesn’t want to do that. She doesn't want to do that.
Jenna: So, she’s having to live this like, dual personality, dual life, where she's pleasing everybody. And, she's never really fully happy, or in the moment. It's so good. Well, you are doing very important work in the world. I know there are so many… I'm sure, every person listening to this knows somebody that needs your help, if not them needing your help.
Everyone spread the word, Geraldine’s business is definitely going to take off. And I'm so excited to keep working with you, because we're going to continue doing that one-to-one. So, there are exciting times ahead. Thank you so much for coming on and sharing your story about how this shift is possible, and just in a couple of weeks.
Everyone, of course, you're welcome to come into the Clarity Accelerator. And also, these are principles that anyone can implement. Right? And so, I will help you fine tune them. I'll help you ask the right questions of yourself. I'll help you go deeper. And also, the information is there for you. It's nothing exclusive that we have, that would keep you from continuing to do this work until you're ready to join the Clarity Accelerator.
Okay, Geraldine, thank you so much for coming on.
Geraldine: Thank you, Jenna, for having me.
Jenna: Hey, if you're a coach who wants true clarity about your secret sauce, your people, your best way of doing business, and how you talk about your offer, then I invite you to join us in the Clarity Accelerator. I'll teach you to connect all the dots, the dots that have always been there for you, so that you can show up like you were born for exactly this.
Come join us and supercharge every other tool or tactic you'll ever learn, from Facebook ads to manifestation. Just go to TheUncommonWay.com/schedule and set up a time to talk. I can't wait to be your coach.
Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity First Strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.
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Ep #23: How to Run a Business Without Social Media
Businesses have operated for thousands of years without social media, and all of those principles and tactics are still available to you. Social media might be an easier, cheaper way of having a storefront and shortening your client acquisition process, but it’s a choice you get to make; you are not a slave to it. So in this episode, I’m showing you how to see social media as a tool that you can choose to avail yourself of.
Episode Summary
Jenna explains why running a business without social media is 100% possible and how to do it.
Get clear on what you offer to whom and how to talk about it … plus actually believe it. Join us in our Clarity Accelerator 60-day bootcamp by scheduling a call here.
Enjoy the show? Leave a review to help other likeminded entrepreneurs gain clarity in their businesses.
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Show Notes
So many entrepreneurs hate social media but feel like it’s just something they need to do in order to run their businesses. But being on social media is not a prerequisite for running a successful business, period. So are you ready to run a business that doesn’t rely on it?
Businesses have operated for thousands of years without social media, and all of those principles and tactics are still available to you. Social media might be an easier, cheaper way of having a storefront and shortening your client acquisition process, but it’s a choice you get to make; you are not a slave to it. So in this episode, I’m showing you how to see social media as a tool that you can choose to avail yourself of.
If you’re thinking of ditching social media in your business, you don’t want to miss this episode. I’m clearing up the overthinking and misconceptions once and for all and showing you how to run a social-media-free business. Learn how to build the belief that you don’t need social media to have a successful business and some tips and suggestions to help you get out once and for all.
What You’ll Learn From This Episode:
Some beliefs I used to have about running a business without social media.
How much opportunity you have to create what you want in the world.
What you need in order to say goodbye to social media.
How to show up on social media from a much cleaner place.
The only thing keeping you from having the business you want.
Listen to the Full Episode:
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Full Episode Transcript:
“I have no other choice. But wait, do I? No, no, this is my only option. Except, maybe it's not.” If this is what it sounds like in your mind when you're thinking about whether or not to ditch social media in your business, we are going to clear up the overthinking and misconceptions, once and for all. You do not need to be on social, period.
You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life, by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top ranked business coach and reformed overanalyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.
Y'all, welcome back to The Uncommon Way. Fun fact; I am sitting in the car, in my dad's garage, recording this; I think that is worth bringing up because so often, we let all sorts of things stop us from just doing what we need to do. And I love thinking about how it's not about pushing yourself, and hustling, and making things happen. It's really about no longer making things a problem, right?
It's not a problem that the audio might sound a little different; I'll have this fun story to tell in the future. And that, you can all relate to, no matter where you are in your business, you just kind of make things work. And speaking of the trip, I was thinking back on how I've been able to take a trip every month; some have been planned, some have been spontaneous. I am so grateful, and really grounding into the fact that we have businesses like this nowadays, where we can do that.
And I just wanted to share that with you and celebrate that all together. It is so amazing. Just being here with my dad, and remembering how he used to work, my dad and my stepmom, and seeing what's available to us now, is just something that really blows my mind. And reinforces to me, that this is why we do the foundational work in the beginning.
I remember wondering, is it really possible? Is this all just some big Ponzi scheme, or some pipe dream, sold to poor innocent souls? And now I know it's available to us. It takes commitment, but it also takes constraint, right? Really focusing on what's truly important in your business.
I went through a couple years where I wasn't really producing anything, and I was focused on all the wrong things. And now, I see that the longer you spend in mind drama and in activities that don't move the needle, the longer it all takes.
Okay, today's episode is by listener request. It's somebody who left a review and said they would really love to know how to create a business without social media, and to run a business that doesn't rely on social media. And so, this is going to be a zero woo episode; it's gonna be straight up business.
I'm just noticing that there really is this balance between sharing, with you all, what I know you need to know, right? That you don't know that you need to know. And this is all coming just based on what's going on with my clients at the moment; I can see what will be so helpful for you.
But on the other hand, also responding to exactly what you want to know. I want to strike that balance, but of course, I really need your input so that I can make this so valuable for you. So, please do leave a review. And really, that's the best holiday present that you could leave me, by the way.
I don't know about you, I have this thing going with Ben, where he is so hard to shop for. And I just think, “Oh my God, just tell me what you want.” Because I find myself wanting him to just tell me. I always make sure to just tell him exactly what I want, right? So, I'm just going to do the same with you, because maybe you're like me.
And so, if you're wondering, that is what I would love for the holidays. And if you tell me what you want, where you're looking to grow, learn, maybe if you're stuck somewhere, if you let me know that, I will be happy. In fact, thrilled to give back.
Okay, down to business. I know it seems like something I have to do, you just have to do it, but you do not need to be on social media to have a successful business. Today, I'll be helping you build your belief in that, and I'll be giving you some tips and suggestions, so that you can either get out, once and for all, or continue to show up but from a much cleaner place. You knowing that you don't have to be on social, you want to.
And to start this whole discussion, we have to begin with mindset. Of course, first, you've just got to think about the fact that businesses have operated for thousands of years without social media. Let that sink in. All of those principles and tactics, they're still available to you.
Social is just an easier, cheaper way of having a storefront and shortening your client acquisition process, that's it. But it's a choice you get to make, you're not a slave to it. It's a tool that you can choose to avail yourself of. And you might be wondering right now, well, what are the other tools? And I would answer, how long do you have? You know, we could probably spend until next New Year’s talking about all of them.
But I could do that, I could create a podcast just of all the different possible tools, and it still wouldn't do anything if you didn't believe that those were a viable option for you. So, do you? Do you believe that you can go off social if you want to? This is the heart of what I do. Right? I help women see how much opportunity they have to create what they want in the world, and then help them resource their own power to go make it happen.
If you're living in a state of victimhood, which, my friends, is exactly what's happening when you say, “I hate social media, but I have to be on it.” If you're believing that you aren't capable of creating what you want, unless a thousand others have done it first. Or, if you're given the exact playbook or someone tells you it's okay, then very little will ever change in your life. And the world will be deprived of your example; in your specific vision and genius.
So, just as a thought exercise now, just pretend that you never heard me saying that a social media-free business is 100% possible. And that I, myself, spent two years off of social and that, in 2022, I brought in multiple six-figures from a few landing pages; forget all of that. Just pause this recording, and see and think about what you would have to believe about business, about your clients, and about yourself, in order to move forward on creating a business without social.
Okay, that's powerful, right? Because what you're exposing there, is it’s showing you all the places where you can now go to work developing those beliefs for yourself. So, don't skip this, it's going to give you the roadmap of what you need to work on. I'm so curious about what came up for you. Maybe, you realize you need to believe your clients wouldn't care that you're never on social, right?
That being off, it wouldn't undermine your legitimacy. I remember that one for myself, especially as a business coach. Or, you'd have to believe that you're extremely resourceful, or that the universe supports you. Or, maybe you'd have to believe that regardless of what it did for your sales, what you'd learn during that process, and during that defined timeframe that you decided to be off social, was more valuable, right?
That is what propelled me. When I first made this decision, I knew that I wanted to take a step back from the business, and solely focus my thoughts on separating my sense of self-worth from the money that I was bringing in, or the things that I was doing, or the success I was seeing, outside of me. And, I wanted to do that radical experiment.
I'm not saying you should do it in that way, I'm just giving you an example of the beliefs that get exposed. Right now, I would think about this differently, but back then, basically, what I was showing myself was that if I were not on social, if I weren't doing all of these daily activities, I would feel like… fill in the blank. Right?
All the internal critic judgment I could think about myself; for being lazy, for being headed for failure, for not being motivated enough, all the ways that I would drive myself. If I had been able to expose that then, and I knew what I knew now about how I had the power to develop my brain, then I probably wouldn't have made that radical decision.
But you know what? It was an amazing experiment; I'm glad I did. It forced me into a different type of resourcefulness. And whatever comes up for you, you're not expected to be in full belief yet, right? If you were, you'd have the business. So, it's okay. But for the rest of this episode, just tell your brain that you're going to open yourself to believing this is doable, and you're just deciding how you want to do it. Just play with that.
And to my entrepreneurs that are doing really well on social right now; maybe, you're launching and you have large followings, but you hate social. I talk to so many of you, so often. The only thing keeping you from the business you want, is your mindset.
You can just choose to love social, that's one option, and stay with the status quo. Or, you can choose to get off social, because you probably have most of what you need to run a social media-free business. I'll talk about that more in a second. You just have to do it; you just have to develop the belief that you can do it.
And now, speaking to all of you new or established business owners, before you do it, step one, is just to decide how you want to run your business. Because wherever you are, I guarantee you have more opportunity than you're telling yourself you do. I have a client who was struggling just to find some people to talk to; I'm going to have her on the podcast soon.
But she was struggling to find some people to talk to, and was really resistant to social media. It hadn't even occurred to her that she had people just within her network that she could talk to. And, that's what she ended up doing. I have another client, much more established in business, and she only works for Facebook ads.
There are ways, my friends. So, what's it going to be for you? Is it going to be networking? Is it going to be ads, Facebook or local radio ads? Who knows? Are you going to leverage search engines? Are you going to partner with influencers? Are you going to put up flyers in Whole Foods? There are so many options.
And now, other than those mindset pieces, I've got some really good news for you. There's only one other thing that you really need, in order to say goodbye to social media. And, it's that strong business foundation. The same foundation of all business from the beginning of time, right? I'll say this over and over again, I want to shout it from the rooftops; it's not about the thing you're doing, it's about how you're doing it.
I'll just say that again; it's not about what you're doing, it's about how you're doing it. So, you could copy a seven-figure Facebook ads funnel; super, super successful. You could copy every single element of that; the type of ad, what the landing page’s like, the targeting secrets, all the different emails in the nurture sequence, everything.
And, you could still make $0 from that if you don't really know the problem that your people want solved. And, are you speaking to them in a way that makes them trust you to solve it? You really need those three main things; you need to know yourself, know your people, and be able to speak simply and clearly about how those two intersect.
You've got to know yourself and your secret sauce; what you really do, and believe you do it, right? If you don't believe, they sure as hell won't believe. I have a client who runs sales teams for tech companies. She knows everything about sales. But when she had a side hustle, selling MLM products, she just couldn't do it.
She thought, “How can I be so good at sales and yet suck at this?” But there was no conviction. My people aren't here just to make money, although we all love making money, but we like working for something that we truly believe in.
I used to work for an apparel company, and I remember thinking, “Does the world need another piece of clothing made in China?” It was hard for me to believe in it. And when you're a coach, that something that you believe in, has to be you; you are a big part of the product.
Do you know your edge? What you help people with? Why you're different? Do you live and breathe it? Can you talk about it confidently, without shame? Like, I live and breathe clarity, if you're a coach and you need to get clear on something in your business, you come to me. I didn't invent the title “The Queen of Clarity” for myself, but I'm not ashamed to use it.
Because yeah, nobody talks about clarity the way I do. Nobody teaches it the way I do. Nobody has gone through the fire of uncertainty and overthinking like I have, and come out on the other side with knowledge and simplicity like I have. It's not for everyone, but for those who want it, I'm the obvious choice. It makes sense. And that's not arrogance, it's fact.
It's not because of the number of clients I have, or certain certifications that I got for clarity, it's because I did the work to build my thoughts and beliefs, and it allows me to show up like it, now. If you want to get started on this yourself, listen to my last episode on The Model. I recognized this secret sauce of mine first, and then I cultivated my thoughts about it. And you can do that, too, for yourself. Or, I can help you do it for yourself.
And then, of course, you've got to know your people, right? What do they really want? How do they think and talk about the solution? It's amazing, now that I've been here with my dad. He was a pioneer in Silicon Valley back when people knew what computers were, but they didn't really know how they would ever serve them, what they'd ever really be used for.
And, he talked about problems that the sales department would have with the marketing department. The marketing department would be trying to convince people to adopt a certain type of method for their business, rather than going after the people that had already adopted that. And therefore, dated the software they were selling, to make that run more efficiently.
And so, the sales department would tell them, “You aren't really getting us clients. I don't know if you're creating clients for us 20 years from now, maybe, but right now, we need to make sales. And we should be going after the people that actually need this now.”
So, you need to understand the motivations of your people, right? You can be the best coach in the world, but if you don't know what makes your people opt in, or get on a call, or click to buy, you won't be making sales. And, where do your people hang out? You know, mine, Google things. What do your people do?
How can you speak to how those two things connect? How can you speak to how your offer, your edge, connects with their desires and their wants? My landing pages do well because I'm eating and breathing client language. I know my people like the back of my hand. Not just because I was them. And I'm thinking back to how I thought, but because I'm listening now, I never stopped listening.
Do you know how many people have told me they just wish they could articulate the value of what they offer? In those words; “I just wish I could articulate the value of what I do, so they'd want to buy.” And that's why I speak to this so often. And those people who are saying that, they aren't just any people, they're my people, my ideal clients. The heartfelt ones, the ones that show up to everything, that do the work, that are super easy to work with, and open and coachable. Those people.
I'm not using language from people I don't want to attract. There are just too many ideal clients out there for me to spend my focus on anyone else. And that's why I keep calling them in, over and over again. And my clients see this, too. When they start changing their language subtly, they start bringing in completely different people. And of course, when they change their mindset, that happens, too. But that's a story for another time. Like I said, no woo.
So, if you want more on this subject, go back and listen to my podcast, “Knowing Your People 101”. And the other episode, is Episode 7, “5 Steps to Nail Your Messaging”. So, go back to those for a primer. They'll get you so much further than, potentially, where you are right now, and what I see probably 80% of entrepreneurs or new entrepreneurs doing. If you need more personalized help, let's talk.
All of this is to say, you don't need to be on social. But if you want to make money, you need these fundamentals. This is the “how to” of running a social media-free business; it's building a strong foundation. It's that simple.
And then, you choose your one or two areas of focus, and you stick with it. You allow momentum to build, rather than throw your hands up in the air and say, “This isn't working,” and blame the platform. Or, blame your coach. Or, blame the industry for misleading you. Or, blame yourself for being such a failure.
And by the way, you might think, you probably will think all of those things while you're building your business; no shame, you have a human brain, right? But have a pity party in the evening, with some ice cream and Netflix. And then, get back up the next day and re-decide you're going to master this, and get back to work.
You're an entrepreneur after all; we have nerves of steel. What's the saying? Like, we do what 99% won’t, so that we can live like only 1% do. Seriously. My “work with me” page, it didn't start ranking immediately, the day I put up that copy. But that doesn't mean my messaging was off. It just took some time to rise.
You need to give yourself space for that momentum to build. And I was still selling, in the meantime. I was using the birthday cake strategy for getting clients, which you can also go back to listen to; I've made a podcast on that, as well.
Okay, so now that we've talked about how there's no magic formula for building a social media-free business, no one tactic, but instead, it's the real work that has fueled businesses for centuries, where you fulfill a demand. I want to let you know that I'll be recording an episode soon, on the benefits of social media. You heard me, the benefits.
I used social media very strategically, at one point in my business. I'll tell you how, and how I was able to accelerate my knowledge acquisition timeline, and set myself up for success. And of course, how I help others do the same. That is an episode you don't want to miss.
And that thought alone, that you're not going to necessarily be on social media forever, might be just enough to start changing how you're showing up there.
Before we call this a wrap, I'm going to leave you with a couple of recap thoughts. You ready? Number one, you have more opportunity than you realize. Number two, what you're doing is less important than how you're doing it.
Number three, this is a much bigger conversation than what tactic to use. It's about you tapping into your power to create your business your way, and giving yourself permission to do so. You don't have to make any drastic changes all at once, but open yourself to the possibilities. Your path might be different than others.
And number four, businesses have been operating forever, through basic business principles grounded in human psychology. Social media, that's just a tiny blip in that timeline. So, don't let your vision become myopic. Take the larger view; you're running a business, not a social media business. Your business doesn't depend on any one vehicle or delivery method, because it has a very smart woman as its CEO.
Okay, my friends, that's it for today. Remember, deep down, you know who you are. And each day, you're stepping further into what you're here to create.
Hey, if you're a coach who wants true clarity about your secret sauce, your people, your best way of doing business, and how you talk about your offer, then I invite you to join us in the Clarity Accelerator. I'll teach you to connect all the dots. The dots that have always been there for you, so that you can show up like you were born for exactly this.
Come join us and supercharge every other tool or tactic you'll ever learn, from Facebook ads to manifestation. Just go to TheUncommonWay.com /schedule and set up a time to talk. I can't wait to be your coach.
Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity First Strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit TheUncommonWay.com See you next time.
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Ep #22: The Model: How Your Thoughts Affect Your Life
What would you say if I told you there’s a tool that can help you achieve exactly what you want in life, give insight about why you haven’t achieved it yet, explain why you feel and do the things you do, and give you clarity on your current thoughts and motivations? Well, this tool exists, and it has changed my life. So this week, I’m sharing it with you.
Episode Summary
Jenna shares an impactful tool called The Model and shows you how to use it to make the changes you want in your life.
Get clear on what you offer to whom and how to talk about it … plus actually believe it. Join us in our Clarity Accelerator 60-day bootcamp by scheduling a call here.
Enjoy the show? Leave a review to help other likeminded entrepreneurs gain clarity in their businesses.
If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.
Show Notes
What would you say if I told you there’s a tool that can help you achieve exactly what you want in life, give insight about why you haven’t achieved it yet, explain why you feel and do the things you do, and give you clarity on your current thoughts and motivations? Well, this tool exists, and it has changed my life. So this week, I’m sharing it with you.
I’m introducing you to an incredible tool called The Model. This tool helps you really understand the relationship between your thoughts, feelings, and actions, and as a result, make the necessary changes to start creating the results you want in your life. And the best part? It is so simple that you can do it on the back of a napkin.
Join me this week and hear more about what The Model is, how it works, and why it is so beneficial. I’m walking you through some examples of how I’ve used The Model in my own life, some issues you might run into when using it, and how you can start using it right now.
What You’ll Learn From This Episode:
How a belief is just a thought you’ve thought over and over.
Why your circumstances do not cause you to feel overwhelm, and what really causes this.
How The Model enables you to see where you are contributing to your results.
Why you are not stuck where you are and can create whatever you want.
How we take action based on how we feel right now at this moment.
Some common pitfalls of The Model.
How your mindset can help you tap into the clarity within.
Listen to the Full Episode:
Featured on the Show:
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Full Episode Transcript:
There's a tool that can help you achieve exactly what you want in life, give you insight about why you haven't achieved it, yet, show you why you're feeling the way you do, why you do the things you do. And, can give you the kind of clarity on your thoughts and motivations that you used to have to sit in a therapist’s chair for years to finally see. It has literally changed my life. And, I can't wait to tell you all about it.
You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life, by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top ranked business coach and reformed overanalyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.
Welcome back to The Uncommon Way. I am really excited, right now. I'm headed to California in a couple of days to visit my dad and stepmom. And you know, have some time by myself on that nice long plane trip. That is something I think any mom out there can relate to.
My dad loves to cook, and they're big wine people; they're part owners in a vineyard. My stepmom grew up on a vineyard in the Carneros region of Sonoma. If any of you have been there, if you're familiar with that area. And then, they sell their grapes to local producers. So, who knows, you might have even had some wine produced on their farm.
It's just going to be a week of good food, good wine, and daddy wisdom, which every girl needs. It's gonna be a lot of fun. Oh, and they have a new kitty; a new kitty, plus a real Christmas tree. I don't do real Christmas trees, so I'm so thankful that they're willing to do it for me. So, I can enjoy that smell without dealing with all the pine needles.
I don't know if you… Okay, random thought. Have you ever seen, there's a Saturday Night Live video that they made, and it was called “Back Home Ballers”. It was about how when these women go back home, they're just treated like royalty. And they basically, you know, can call the shots. So, I don't know, it was really funny. Because that's how I feel whenever I go home, that I am just living it up. That is absolutely me. So, I'm sure I'll have some stories to tell when I get back. And, I'll definitely be toasting all of you.
Okay, let's get down to some mindset work, shall we? And specifically, thought work. So, thought work is where we're really centering our thoughts and our cognition as the means to really understand and improve our mindset, and thereby, our results in every aspect of our lives. The specific tool we'll be talking about for this, is “The Model”.
I wanted to create an episode on this topic, because I refer to it in other episodes, and I plan to keep doing so, because it really has had such an impact on my life. I am a Certified Coach by the Life Coach School, so we do coach on “The Model.” And although I use it along with other coaching modalities and tools in the Clarity Accelerator, it's a big part of what we do in there. And, I'm just such a fan.
Now, what I'm about to teach you within this Model isn't anything new. But it is presented now very simply, in a way that makes it more accessible and workable than was previously possible. It's something that absolutely anyone can use; something that you can start using today.
Let me talk about some of the things that underlie it, because you'll see exactly what I mean about how it is nothing you didn't already know. So, we all know that there's a part of our brain that can be the ‘watcher’. That can really sit back and observe how we're thinking, and how we're feeling.
Neuroscience shows us that what we think about really determines a lot of what we're feeling. We can see different chemical strains going through our blood when we're activated in a certain way. Psychology shows us that what we're feeling really drives our actions and our behavior. It really comes down to that.
And of course, grandpa has already told us that the more action we take, the more likely we are to get our results; the kind of actions we take are what we’ll get in return. “Well, that's what you get,” grandpa would say. We also know that the brain creates meanings and thoughts based on events. We know that that produces feelings or sensations based on how we are making meaning, how we think.
If my son is defiant, and I think, “He knows better than this,” I have a totally different experience in my body and a different way of perceiving the world, than when I'm thinking, “Fascinating. He is right on track with building his own identity.” We know that our actions are based on how we feel, right now. In this moment, not in the future. Not how we should feel or how most people feel, but how we really feel.
And those feelings are driven by all sorts of underlying beliefs. And yes, our actions, and our way of being and showing up, produces results. We could take the exact same action, but if we're showing up to do that action in a certain way, we're not going to get the same results as we would if we were doing it in a different way.
So, there's lots of moving pieces when you think about all that, right? But life coach, Brooke Castillo, from The Life Coach School, came up with a really simple way of organizing them. And, she calls it “The Model”. It's so simple that you can do it on the back of a napkin. It gives us a beautiful snapshot of what's going on in our brains, and also, where you have to be mentally to create the results you want.
Okay, here's what you do. You ready? Write down these letters vertically on a sheet of paper, C-T-F-A-R. Now, the C stands for “Circumstance”. It is something that's totally objective, that everyone could agree on. Like, what are the actual facts. So not, “She was being snarky,” but, she said the words, “Is that all?” In that C line; right in that line, where the C is, we would write down: She said the words, “Is that all?” We get very specific.
Now, the T, stands for your “Thought”, right? What is your thought about that C? So here, you would enter: She's being snarky.
F is for “Feeling”. And here, you want to reach for just one word. So, we would typically do things like, the way we speak, is we'd say things like, “I feel like I have to justify everything.” But that's not really a feeling, that's actually a thought. You want to look for what is the feeling that you're feeling, in your body. You know, maybe it's defensive.
The A stands for “Action”. What action do you take when you're feeling that way, thinking that thought? What do you do? What don't you do? How do you show up? Really allow yourself to keep going, and get really detailed here.
And then, the R, stands for “Result”. What result does that create or will that create? Something really amazing, is that we almost always see that the result reflects our thought, in some way. It's almost as if our thoughts really do create our results.
Try it out for yourself, when you try out your own models, now. And I'll show you how, in just a sec. But let me also give you some examples, so you can see for yourself.
Okay, here's one that happened to me pretty early on when I was first doing this work. So, my C, my circumstance, was that I booked out with clients. Now, my thought was, “I'm so overwhelmed.” And then, the feeling was nervous. And the truth of how I experienced this in the moment, was, I call it a “coffee feeling”. So, I felt that jitteriness.
I think I've mentioned in a previous, maybe an email to my list or to you guys, that I am very sensitive to caffeine. So, I have to drink decaf all the time. And even if I have too much decaf, I'll start getting this feeling, this coffee feeling. So, that's what I was feeling. There was a combination of maybe, panic and nervousness.
And then, my action, based on that feeling, when I was thinking that thought, “I'm so overwhelmed,” is to work longer hours, sleep less. Right? Working more, yes, but in an unfocused way. I wasn't accessing my creativity or giving myself a chance to access creativity, or rest, in order to access the creativity.
So, I was just kind of trudging along, and I created a resentful attitude. I'd get resentful of my husband, who wasn't working as much as me. I'd get resentful of clients, even when they asked for support or help. I’d get resentful that people would even respond to my posts on social media. Or thinking, “I don't even have time.”
It’s not a good place to be in for a coach who's here to change lives. Right? I would spend my time, even when I wasn't at work, thinking about work. I'd spend a lot of time thinking, specifically, about the difficulty of this and how miserable I was feeling.
I'd worked myself into a panic about delivering for all of these clients, right? How are they going to perceive me? What are they going to think of me? Am I dropping any balls? And then, I would drop the ball on things. And then, I'd have to go back and spend twice as long fixing it.
So, can you see the result of all of this? I actually created a lot more work for myself, and a lot more energy expenditure for myself; I overwhelmed myself. My thought was, “I'm so overwhelmed,” and the result, was I overwhelmed myself.
We think that the circumstance of being booked out creates the overwhelm. It doesn't. It's the thought of you telling yourself you're overwhelmed, that creates the overwhelm. Some of you who are unfamiliar with this might find yourself thinking right now, “No, I am overwhelmed. I have so much to do.”
But it's kind of like when you're cold, and then in your head, you're telling yourself, “It's so cold. I'm dying, it's so cold,” and then you feel even colder. It's not that the temperature reads differently when you think about it differently, the temperature is what it is. Well, although maybe, it does, right? But that's a topic for another episode.
But it's that you make the situation so much worse, and your brain is paying so much more attention to it, and it's exacerbating the problem. I'm just now thinking about when I lived in Germany and we would go to Christmas markets. So, it's in the dead of winter in Germany, and at night it would be so cold. And yet, I would be so caught up in the wonder of the beautiful little things that were for sale, all the different lights, things that they were showcasing, I never felt the cold in that way.
So, back to overwhelm. We know it's not the circumstance of the things that cause the result. Because another person could think of that situation totally differently. They could handle it totally differently. They could get a different result, starting from that same circumstance. So, it's not the circumstance, it's not the C; it's the meaning created by the subject. And what that, then produces.
In my situation, another person might have thought, “You know, I'm so glad my clients are so resourceful. This is so easy. Right? All I have to do is show up and coach. And, this is easy.” Which would produce a totally different feeling in the body. It would produce totally different actions, and a completely different result.
So, let's do some more. This is fun, right? This is how like, we geek out on these things. I have a client who has been bartering services, and the other person sent her an invoice and started charging, but was still asking her for the advice she used to give. So, in this case, the C, was a text. That's all it was. Her thought was, “I'm being taken advantage of.” And that F, that feeling, was frustration.
Now, the actions were to ruminate. To spend time thinking of catty things she could do back, right? She didn't spend as much time focusing on growing her new business. She looked for evidence from the past, that it was true that this person wanted to take advantage of her. She nibbles on food, she said she wouldn't eat. Because she's feeling so frustrated about the situation.
Maybe, she opens up bottle of wine, even though she knows she won't sleep as well. And, she doesn't talk about it directly and clear up the issue. So, what's the result of the thought, “I'm being taken advantage of,” y'all? I'll give you a sec. It's that she doesn't take care of her needs, of herself. She's the one taking advantage of herself, or diminishing herself in some way.
For all we know, that person assumed she'd send an invoice too, or at least whenever she determined that the service was invoiceable, right? That other person isn't an expert in that field, so they don't know. And even if they do know, like, let's say the person is literally thinking, “Ha-ha, I'm going to take advantage of her.” It's like Martin Luther King said, “A man can't ride on your back unless it's bent.”
And that is something that The Model does really quickly. It pulls you straight out of victimhood. It always let you see where your contribution is to your results. And some people, don't want to see that.
But you can see why I jive with it. Right? It is such a great clarity tool. Which is great news, because it means you have so much power to create change. You're not a victim. You're not stuck. You can create whatever the hell you want.
And when you start seeing the world, in terms of Model, it clarifies things for you. It's so easy for me to see the cascade that happens with the thoughts about a lack of clarity. Or, of kind of moving forward, “I'll just put this out anyway,” and they don't really have that foundational piece. And so, they end up speaking to no one. They end up trying different things.
All of these different actions are just cascading from that, what we call a “thought error”. It's a thought that is not producing the results that you asked, truly want to create. And yet, we go on thinking it because it's a practiced thought. And, it's how we've been thinking in the past.
We haven't had the clarity yet, to say, “Hmm, this is definitely not serving me. It's something that we need to change. I'm no longer going to continue trying to put out webinars or try different social media platforms. I'm going to recognize that what I need to do, is get very clear on how my customers speak and what resonates with my clients. So, that I can put it out anywhere.”
So, here's your homework, okay? Here's how to start using it today: I want you to block off some time for yourself, only has to be 10 minutes. Pull out a blank sheet of paper, just write down the thoughts in your head, and then pull just one of those thoughts and create a model for it. And then, don't do anything differently. Sit in that awareness. Sit in that feeling of, “Huh. I thought I was feeling this way because of X. But actually, it's my thought.”
Here are some of the problems you might run into. One, is fighting with it, fighting with the model, right? Saying, “I'm not creating any of this,” that is going to rob you of any opportunity to create change. You're welcome to think that, but is it really in your best interest? What is even the 1% that you could change, that would give you the best chances of creating that different result? Where do you want to take responsibility?
Number two, I see this a lot; it's not getting specific enough. So, what was the exact C? Don't just put down “my business”, right? Think back to an exact moment, so you can really get clear on those autopilot thoughts. Those pesky autopilot thoughts that are kind of slipping in there without you even realizing.
And, what's the real thought, right? Keep asking yourself, “And, so what?” And, “What did I make that mean?” Until you start to get to something that really feels charged. And then, flush out those actions. Keep going with them until the result really reveals itself.
Number three is not being honest. So, sometimes you're using a thought that you think should make you feel a certain way, maybe it sounds good. But take a pause and ask, “How do I really feel when I think that?” I'll give you an example, “I'm going to hit six figures.” Sounds like a thought that if you just keep thinking enough, it'll make it happen.
But if it is producing a feeling of dread in you, if it's producing a feeling of disbelief, that is what's going to drive your actions. So, get real. How are you really feeling?
Number four, is that you're getting into other people's models, or you're putting people in your own model. This is only a tool for us to figure out our own brains. You don't want to be psychoanalyzing everyone else, especially without their permission.
And you never want to have a thought where you're projecting what that person is thinking about you, or what that person is doing. They get to be in the C line, and that's it. That's something for you to think of, as well. You are, at most, somebody else's C line.
Another mistake people make early on, is they really jump to use The Model against others, right? They show them how they're thinking about a situation incorrectly, when they haven't asked for your coaching. You might find yourself saying, “Well, I might have said that, but you can choose to think about it however you want.” That's not helpful, in that moment when the person is feeling charged, and they don't even know what you're talking about with The Model.
Number six, is always trying to fix your thoughts and turn them into happy thoughts, with the end goal of being happy. Right? First of all, you are a human and you have a human brain, so you will always have negative thoughts. Probably 50% of the time, you'll experience negative emotions.
And for sure, you will recreate negative experiences if you've never stopped to get in touch with the truth of where you are, at this moment. To really feel your feelings. I highly suggest that you go back and listen to Episode 14. It's called, “The Number One Skill for Entrepreneurship”. You just go to TheUncommonWay.com/14. It's all about learning to be with your feelings.
So, you've got to get comfortable feeling your feelings and sitting in the truth of where you are, and your agency in where you are, before you move on to changing anything. Because that’s how you stop being afraid to feel feelings, so you can take bigger risks and ultimately create safety from within, rather than seeking it through avoidance of risk.
It's safe to be in your body with these emotions. It's okay for you to be having a human experience. You got you. You’re gonna be fine. But then, yes, you can start to step yourself into new ways of thinking and new beliefs. Once you have sat with and acknowledged that space that you're in.
A belief, it's just a thought that you've thought over and over. So, as long as you actually find a new thought that produces the kind of feeling that you want to feel, you can absolutely start practicing that thought, and watching different results unfold when you do.
And here's what I haven't really told you yet, and I didn't want to until I created enough reason for you to want to actually sit with that feeling and sit with where you are. But the truth is, you don't have to work just top-down on The Model. You can choose any line as your entry point. You can choose the F line, A line, the T line, right?
Like, what I suggested for you for homework, find a thought and then put that in the T line, and work your model from there. But you can also enter from the R line, from the result line; what is the result that you want to create? What are the kinds of actions that would lead to that result? How do you have to be feeling to take those actions?
Really, what do you have to be thinking, that actually generates that feeling in your body? And if you need help learning how to create thoughts and beliefs that you don't actually believe in the moment, but you want to believe so that you start showing up differently, showing up bigger, hitting bigger revenue goals, even creating clarity. Yeah, your mindset can help you tap into the clarity within.
If you need help with that, I can help. I am an expert in creating new beliefs that drive transformation and new results. So, we need to talk. In fact, right on the podcast now, we've put a link where you can, right there in the description, click that link, and it will take you to my scheduling page.
Okay, let's recap. The Model is an amazing tool that condenses all of those moving pieces that we already knew about. And it just puts it in this very simple, actionable format that lets us work with all of them. So, it's nothing new, but it's crazy workable. You can start using it today, by just grabbing a sheet of paper and blocking off a few minutes. And soon, it will get to the point where you're just thinking it in your head.
There are some common pitfalls; I pulled out about five or six of them here for you. But The Model always works. So, just be on the lookout for user error. Work with it a bit, and you'll get the hang of it. And don't underestimate how much this one thing can absolutely change your life.
Okay, friends, that is it for the day. Remember, deep down, you know who you are. And each day you are stepping further into what you're here to create.
Hey, if you're a coach who wants true clarity about your secret sauce, your people, your best way of doing business and how you talk about your offer, then I invite you to join us in the Clarity Accelerator. I'll teach you to connect all the dots; the dots that have always been there for you. So, that you can show up like you were born for exactly this.
Come join us and supercharge every other tool or tactic you'll ever learn from Facebook ads to manifestation. Just go to TheUncommonWay.com/schedule, and set up a time to talk. I can't wait to be your coach.
Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity First Strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.
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Ep #21: 4 Ways to Use Human Design
As you know, clarity is within, and when we can surface it, we can turn it into a smart business that we want to stick with. Through alignment, we will call in clients that we actually want to work with, and one of the tools that many of my clients choose to facilitate this is Human Design.
Episode Summary
Find out what human design is, how Jenna uses it inside The Clarity Accelerator, and four ways you can use it in your own life.
Get clear on what you offer to whom and how to talk about it … plus actually believe it. Join us in our Clarity Accelerator 60-day bootcamp by scheduling a call here.
Enjoy the show? Leave a review to help other likeminded entrepreneurs gain clarity in their businesses.
If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.
Show Notes
Do you ever wish you just had confirmation that you are actually doing what you’re meant to be doing in your life? Do you want to make decisions that aren’t just reflections of holding yourself back or being influenced by others? Well, what if your life had a blueprint that could guide you?
As you know, clarity is within, and when we can surface it, we can turn it into a smart business that we want to stick with. Through alignment, we will call in clients that we actually want to work with, and one of the tools that many of my clients choose to facilitate this is Human Design.
In this episode, I’m diving deeper into Human Design and sharing what it is, how I learned about it, why I like it, and how we use it in the Clarity Accelerator. I’m sharing four ways to use Human Design in your own life and how there is something so special about a woman who knows herself and her power. If you are deeply interested in moving into your truth and taking confident, bold action from that place, you don’t want to miss this episode.
What You’ll Learn From This Episode:
How to deepen your self-trust and the importance of doing so.
Where I introduce this tool inside The Clarity Accelerator and why I do so at this point.
How the truth is always within, and how Human Design can be confirmation of this.
What my clients really want from The Clarity Accelerator.
How to use Human Design to support you in getting to where you want to go.
Why it is hard to create an uncommon life if you don’t know who you are or what you want.
How to start showing up with confidence and pride in your whole self.
Listen to the Full Episode:
Featured on the Show:
If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.
Click here to sign up for my newsletter and find out how the Connect The Dots Method has helped clients in all stages of their business.
Follow me on Instagram for behind-the-scenes content and daily value bombs!
Full Episode Transcript:
Do you ever wish you just had confirmation that you're actually doing what you're meant to be doing? What you're most capable of doing? That your decisions aren't just reflections of holding yourself back or being influenced by others, they're yours?
Well, what if your life had a blueprint that could guide you in this? If you're someone who's deeply interested in moving into your truth, and then taking a confident, bold action from that place, then this episode has something you will want to explore.
You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life, by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top ranked business coach and reformed overanalyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.
Hey, welcome back to The Uncommon Way. I hope you're doing well. It is a very active and activated time here at The Uncommon Way. Things always pick up for me at the end of the year. I've hit my yearly revenue goal. Now, it's November, and I'm beyond excited about the women that I've called into my orbit.
I'm mentioning this because I see some kind of fatalist talk about, “Oh, it's the end of the year, things quiet down. I guess my business is done for this year.” And I just wanted to let you know, that that is not my experience, at all. Because it's so helpful for me when someone flips things on their head. Something that I completely take for granted, and they're like, “Huh, no, that's not the way it works for me.” Really helps me shake things up in my brain.
Here's a recent example, I had heard, from some guru somewhere, if you want to be a guest on a podcast, you need to pitch in the latter half of the year, because that is when they're deciding their schedule for the following year. And if you wait, then you'll pretty much be out of luck. So, I just took this as a given.
Recently, we started to pitch to podcasts. And right away, in the first few weeks, several of them saying like, “No, no, let's do it now.” I think I have three in the next few weeks. So, that's just the kind of thing that is worth spreading around, right? For all of us to be like, no. Turns out, that's not a thing.
And oh, back to the clients thing. One of my clients is just finalizing her final contracts for 2023; she's completely booked out for 2023. So, if you're choosing to absorb evidence from the outside, just make sure it serves you. I think this is fun for me, you and everyone to just hear and be inspired by.
But rather than talking about the external evidence, today, we're gonna be talking about tapping into your internal truths. As you know, if you've popped in for any prior episodes, I believe that clarity is within. That these truths are within. And when we can just surface it, we can turn it into a smart business.
One that we’ll actually want to stick with, and we’ll be determined to make work, and we’ll feel qualified to talk about and will enjoy talking about. Through that alignment, we'll call in clients we actually want to work with.
So, you probably know that this is what we do inside the Clarity Accelerator. One of the tools that many of my clients choose to facilitate this, is Human Design. So today, I want to let you in on how I learned about Human Design, what it is, what I like about it, and then how we use it specifically, in case that inspires you in your own Human Design journey.
But first, I want to give a shout out to a listener, Laura S left a review and said, “Clarity = Priceless Jenna’s podcast offers insight and —yup—clear strategies for finding your own way in business. Always thoughtful, discerning, and valuable, each episode has helped me see things I “thought I knew” in a new way. Highly recommended.” Thank you, Laura, for taking the time to write that. And you know, that's totally close to my heart, when you say that it helps you see things you already knew. That is the name of the game. That's exactly why I started this podcast.
Okay, let's get down to it. When someone first finds me, who has a strong pain point around uncertainty, there's this tendency for her to be like, “She gets me. Finally, someone who thinks this is worth talking about.” And really what they're dying to do is say, “Well, I've had this idea and this idea, and here's what I think about this one. And here are the pros and cons of this one,” and to just really share with someone.
I mean, my people are deep thinkers, right? And, I want to honor that. So, I make sure to leave opportunities within the program, for us to dive into anything we need to dive into. But I also know that the truth will be revealed, and it doesn't come from you working out a pros and cons list in your mind.
I'm always on the lookout for how I can help my clients really tap into their clarity faster, better and easier. The connect-the-dots method has been a very, very powerful tool. But last year, I discovered something else. Basically, I'm always discovering. Because I'm always studying, always learning. It's so funny. Sometimes I'll talk to my past clients, and they'll be like, “Oh, I really loved working with you because of this.” And I'm just like, “Oh, honey, you have no idea. We do that maybe 10% of the time, now.”
But this tool that I discovered, Human Design, fits so perfectly within the process of the Clarity Accelerator, that I had only heard about it for maybe a month before I was including it in there. I couldn't not share it. I was telling my clients at the time, “Hey, I am not an expert in this. Here's what I've learned, though. I think it'll be really fun for you, really exciting, really helpful.”
And of course, my clients are so amazing. Everyone was on board. The ones that are still with me, we've all just grown in this journey together. It's the best. I had actually heard about Human Design a few years ago, and I completely ignored it. I've told you before about my journey from skepticism into what many would call “Woo”.
I think when I first heard of it, I thought of it as something like astrology. And I've never been all in on astrology. But fast forward a couple of years, what I was working on, were the energetics of my business. What were the states that I had to be in, to bring in the best results? I was trial and erroring this for months. Which is a method, right? Doing it yourself; but never the most expedient method.
And so, I was on the lookout for a coach that could help me, specifically with the energetic principles. Well, when I finally found one, or I should say, when I finally found the right one for me, she was teaching energetics through the lens of Human Design. So again, I could care less about Human Design. But if that's how she was going to teach it, fine, I was down.
Well, long story short, when we finally pulled up my chart, it was eerily accurate. I continued to work with Danielle for many, many months. And like I said, very early on, I brought it into my own program.
First of all, what is it? It's a system for self-understanding, really. In a way, you can think of it like Myers Briggs® or Enneagram™. But this is an amalgamation of several different wisdom practices and divination tools. At its simplest level, you put your birth information into a calculator, and it spits out a chart.
Apparently, there was a man who got a download, basically, that said, “Here are the ways that you can combine these wisdom principles,” like Kabbalah, the I Ching, the chakra system. But here's how they all fit together. All of this information gets coded into your DNA when you're born. And here's a blueprint of your personal development journey, of your soul's work in this lifetime. What you're here to own and embody, where your ego gets in your way, how you operate, how you best make decisions, where you get influenced by others.
But it's also very specific. We can drill down and find out, what is it that your people really appreciate, and really need to hear from you, in order to feel safe enough to take action with you. Or, we can find out what purpose money really serves for you in this life. There's a system of categorization. So, people are grouped into different types. And that type tells us a lot about how they function, and how they best make decisions.
It's a wildly fun, in that there's so much information. And that's also a problem, because there's so much information. I'll talk about that a little more in a second. But what I really liked about this, besides the fact that it was eerily accurate, and seems to have been for the majority of my clients. Like I said, not all of my clients choose to investigate this. And, that's totally fine.
But of course, I loved that it was bringing together different wisdom principles. I really appreciated the fact that the first person that came up with this, called it an experiment. He said, “Look, this is what was downloaded to me. Take it and run.” So, when you receive this information, and you start practicing it in the world, how does it actually work for you? What do you make it mean? How do you see it play out in your life? And there's no outside authority that can ever know better than you about this.
I know I resonated with it because there is this belief that clarity is within. You don't need to go learn, do, experience anything else, buy any more certifications. This is what you've always been working on in your life. I think it provides tremendous insights and wisdom teachings. Regardless of whether you think that there's any correlation between what this chart says and yourself.
Just reading about the work, since, for instance, a lot of it is based on the I Ching, helps you grow in the understanding of the human condition, and the internal tug-of-war that is playing out within each of us. And personally, I just really vibe with the way of thinking. I love the idea that our highest selves chose this vehicle, this time, this body, this set of characteristics within ourselves, in order to evolve our soul into its next highest evolution.
It's very comforting to think of everything as purposeful. And this could easily be confirmation bias, but it furthers what I've seen. That, as I lean into certain ways of being, certain frequencies, I see different results. I'm manifest different results. I see the universe reflected back to me in a different way.
In the Clarity Accelerator, we use this in a very targeted way. Remember, I said before that there's so much information, and we're only going to focus on the key elements that directly influence your business. I bring this tool in after the connect-the-dots work, for those that want to use it. And that is very intentional, because it's only one part of a system.
Like I've said before, we're surfacing our clarity. But when we see that right in front of us, there's something else that has to happen, we have to believe in it, we have to own it. And that's why this tool works so symbiotically with the connect-the-dots method, because it's like a second piece of confirmation for the work you've already done.
You've gone back through your life, you've seen how these dots connect, and how there have been these underlying themes that keep showing up for you, that your brain is interested in, that you find meaning in. And once you've done that, and you've seen it playing out in your life, when you get a second piece of confirmation, completely distinct, that coincidentally says the same kind of things that you had already found for yourself, it is very powerful.
People tell me things like, “I feel like I finally have permission now, to go out and do this. Now, there's just no denying that this is what I'm here to do.” You can see now, why I do this after the connect-the-dots method. Because I would never want my people believing that because they found something external, because they found Human Design, it set them on this path. No, they always had it, the truth was always within.
And now, here's a nice little compensation. So, with or without Human Design, with or without any guru, any coach, any anything, you're good. Clarity is simple in that way. It's like the light bulb that comes on. It's there for you, and we just access it in different ways.
Human Design is one, but all roads lead to Rome, right? In the connect-the-dots method, I have people go back through their lived experiences. But I could also give you five to ten of the world's great works of literature, and ask you to tell me; what's important here? What themes are calling to you? We'd work through that, and we would arrive right back at Rome.
When you do have the opportunity to see it through different entry points, your self-trust deepens. You trust yourself and your experience, over that of anything external. And then from there, the question is; how do I translate it into an actual niche, an actual offer, actual language? Because to get real, Human Design uses words like “dynamism” and “synarchy”; they're not the most accessible ones for your clients.
After you've done the connect-the-dots work, you know what you mean. And then, you see that reflected in the Human Design. But then, there’s still this whole step of having to bring it down from the abstract to the concrete. Which is one of my areas of genius; of having one foot in both worlds. Because all of this, connect-the-dots and Human Design, is only part one of the clarity system.
As a refresher that’s, know yourself, know your people, speak to how those two connect. So, let me just give you an example with mine. My sun gate, which is my biggest, most influential energy. The thing people will look at me and be like, “Yep, that's what she's doing.” It's about the move out of complexity and into simplicity. Amazing, right? But I was teaching clarity long before I learned this.
And while my clients do care about making their businesses simpler, what they really want and what they really want to pay for, is to finally get clear. To finally, just figure out their niche. Finally, just figure out how to articulate the value of what they're offering. Finally, just figure out their secret sauce. Finally, get clear on the work they're here to do.
So, if I were out there selling simplicity, I would be bringing in a very different client. While Human Design would give me a very broad understanding, it's still pretty abstract. And to make it more concrete, we have to continue getting a little clearer. So, yes, the first way that I use Human Design with my clients, is to reaffirm this work that they've already been doing.
Another way, a little further in the program, is to get granular with some of the things I mentioned earlier. How do you need to show up for your audience? What is it that they need to hear from you? I'll give you an example of a client I had, who was a parenting coach, and was really struggling to bring in higher end clients. So, one-to-one clients.
She had a very inexpensive group membership, that some people would kind of float in and out of. And what I noticed, when I looked at how she was communicating, this was on Facebook®, specifically in Groups. It was very cerebral. But what we saw when we looked at her chart, was that everything was about emotions.
When we used that as a jumping off point for discussion, she was telling me that yes, she was considered a very emotional child. And, that that was frowned upon. And, it seemed to get her into a lot of trouble. And so, she did feel that that was dangerous, and she really prided herself on being very cerebral.
But here's the thing, and I can relate to this so well, she was talking to moms who were in a lot of emotion at that point, and their children were experiencing a lot of emotion. And my client, this parenting coach, found it very easy to understand what was going on with the children, because she had experienced that herself as a child.
So, she really didn't think that was worth talking about. She really just wanted to talk about what was going on in the minds of the moms. But like I said, approaching it from a very cerebral place. I suggested to her, that if she were able to speak about the emotional side, she would be able to connect in a way that her specific people needed to hear.
In Human Design, there's a concept called a “fractal line”, which basically says we are here to interact with certain souls. And in so doing, we help them evolve, and they help us evolve. This is a symbiotic relationship. Well, she absolutely rejected Human Design, in every way, shape, and form, which was fine. But she also rejected her own emotional journey.
She spent a lot of time feeling very emotional and caught up in the motions of starting a business, but had no interest in processing those emotions. She really wanted to logic her way out of them. Until finally, ironically, she became very emotional and crossed some lines, and I needed to release the coaching relationship.
It's unfortunate, and ironic, that I think of her as one of the people that most clearly represents how we could use this information to our advantage. I'll give you another example. And this, ironically, was another person that didn't want anything to do with Human Design. We had worked through the connect-the-dots work. She had such a strong sense of self. She was one of these people that felt like they were so far from clarity, but then very, very, very quickly became clear in our work together.
That just always shows me that it's right on the cusp, it's right there. So, she had such a strong sense of self. It was fun, because we had pulled her chart, she was willing to look at it, but she really wasn't interested in it. There were so many times where she would be talking and saying things, and I would see them reflected in the chart.
It really can become a cheat sheet, where you're thinking, “This is too easy. This is like an unfair advantage, knowing exactly what it is my people want and need to hear.” I'll give you another example with myself, in terms of how I show up for you all. It's as a role model. So, I don't need to be an authority. I just need to say, “Hey, this really worked for me, do you want to try?”
So, when I brought Human Design so quickly into my program, that was a reflection of alignment for me. That was me not getting in my head over whether I knew enough, whether I was qualified, and just fully stepping into my specific role of role model.
All right, another way we tie this back in, is in the section in which we work on energetics, in the Clarity Accelerator. Because remember, I don't believe in doing kind of tier one knowledge, tier two knowledge with my clients. I think everyone's fully capable coming in the door. It doesn't matter how long they've been in business. Here are the fundamental things they need to know; energetics is one of those.
So, how do you create alignment that results in manifesting? That is something that's hard to think your way into. Like I said, I tried a year of trial and error in it, myself. So, I know it is fantastic to see it laid out for you on a page. I mean, how lucky are we? One of the things Danielle would always say to me is, “If you find Human Design in this lifetime, you are meant to accelerate your journey.”
I'm thinking of another client, who also wasn't bringing in clients and came to me. Even as we were doing the connect-the-dots work, there were a couple different themes, a few different themes that were calling to her. There was one that resonated really strongly, but then her ego stepped in, her brain, and said not enough people would want this.
I remember, we were on a Clarity Collective call, and everybody was like, “What? Everybody needs that.” And that was that final bit, well, not the final bit, but that went a long way into helping her all lean in to what her interests and excitement were already telling her, and what her whole life, really. I mean, it's so fun. It's so obvious when you look at her life, that this was what she would end up doing.
But she was telling me just recently, that actually, one of the things that really helped her seal the deal was knowing that she is a pure generator; that's one of the types. And that the way these people do best, is responding to things that are brought into their orbit. “Magnetized to their aura,” is how we would say it in Human Design.
When she framed it this way to herself, she knew that she was moving into alignment by responding to that need, that she could see so clearly and plainly. There wasn't a day that goes by in her life, that her brain isn't picking up on how this issue is playing out in people's lives, and how they really need help. From that alignment, she started to call in and greater and greater results.
In the beginning, she couldn't even find people to talk to, that would raise their hand and say this was a problem they were working on, and would love help solving in their life. And then, just like a week or two in, she was being flooded with information. There were so many people saying, “I definitely need help with that.”
There's a final way that we use this, within the Clarity Accelerator. And by far, this is what my clients say they appreciate the most. That is, seeing how the way they do things is unique and purposeful, it's by design. And that helps them release shame, and create confidence and pride in their superpowers.
I have had so many clients tell me, “I didn't even know why, exactly, I knew I needed to work with you. I didn't think I needed clarity. But now, I know that this was it. I have this whole new understanding of myself.” And it's like a homecoming, right? I always knew it. I always felt so different. And now that's reflected here, I see it. I see that maybe I'm part of the minority, there aren't that many people of my type.
I'm thinking of a client who just never really felt like she had as much energy as a lot of the people around her. She really felt like she needed to push herself. She chastised herself for, you know, sitting down or resting, being lazy. It turns out that her type is the one that desperately needs to conserve energy. And, that was so gratifying for her to hear. And even more gratifying for her to put into practice, even though it's hard when you're not used to doing that.
She had been working in corporate. I remember, she took a month off when she finally left her job. She took a month off, and she came back like a completely different person. She had been struggling to put anything out on social media, it felt so hard. She came back and was feeling inspired, and we set a little challenge for her to just make it easy. She just started rattling off reels and posts, and it started coming so easily to her when she was rested and in this grounded place.
I'm sure you felt that before, too. I have clients that were told there was something wrong for them, for always being so emotional. And it turns out, they're chart shows that any of the emotions, in the people surrounding them, will be amplified in their body. That they'll feel it so much more. And that they'll have a hard time distinguishing what is theirs, and what is actually something else's.
Just learning to ask, “Is this emotion, even mine?” and learning to detox that and get back to their own neutral, that allows them to exist within their life, as an entrepreneur, so much more powerfully.
There was another client of mine, who had a lot of stories about not taking up too much of the light, too much space, calling all the attention to herself, and really holding herself back in a group dynamic, to make sure that she was really fitting in. It turns out, that her type is not meant to fit in. It's very much meant to lead, so that the rest of us know where to place our efforts and our energy.
I think you can see, how for each one of those there were just so many layers of shame that could finally fall away. And, there was so much strength within each of these superpowers. So, I'm just going to go through these once again.
And I'm going to ask you now, if you do end up pulling your chart, which is very easy to do on the internet, how could you apply this to yourself, in these different ways? And out of these, which do you think you need the most healing? Where do you have the most room for personal development growth or spiritual growth?
So, the first way we used it, was really reaffirming what it is that we're here to do. What are you really about? What is your purpose in this lifetime? When you're in your final days, will you feel satisfied with what you devoted your life to? Does it count for you? And are you really leaning into it? Have you decided that, yes, this is what I'm about?
There is nothing, that any Human Design chart or any other kind of chart, ever could have told me to pull me away from my work towards clarity, and helping women create the uncommon lives of their choosing. It's really hard to create the uncommon life of your choosing, if you're not even sure what you're about and what you even want. This is my work in the world. Could you use Human Design, or some other system, to support you in getting to that place, if that is something you want?
Number two, the beauty is in the details. What role do you play for your audience, for your people? How are you communicating to them? And what for? What role does money play in your life? What are the Achilles heels that tend to bring you out of your most aligned state? And how do you know when it's happening? What emotions coming up in you, signal to you that you've definitely gotten out of alignment? What are the frequencies you need to be in to create alignment?
That's number three. How do you best manifest? How do you get into that state of flow, where oh, my God, things are just happening? Like, I couldn't even have written this book, but this person found me this way. Or, that I connected with this other person, and we decided to do a cross promotion. When things just seemed to fall into place, why? What state are you being in, specifically? What is attracting that?
And finally, are you owning that the way you are, serves a purpose? That within each of the things that you may feel is shameful, or we should be able to round off those edges, there are great strengths and superpowers. So much so, that there's probably a reason they're there. What would change in your life, if you were showing up with confidence and pride in your whole self? If you believed you were perfectly designed and created? And that every bit of it served you, even some of the not so favorable things, that just helped you move and helped you see where you needed to go next?
And oh, yeah, by the way, absolutely, help you empathize and connect, and be a guiding light for your people. Because you know what they're struggling with, it's all shown in your chart. And you know that you're a step or two ahead of them. Maybe 10, maybe 100. Because you've been dealing with these things for pretty much your entire life. You are an expert on thinking about them, and working through them. And to someone, that is very, very valuable.
There is something very special about a woman who has this level of knowingness, in these four different areas I've talked about. It's that great shift that you see, again and again, in movies; when a woman finally steps into her power.
All different examples are coming to my mind. I'm thinking all the way back to Melanie Griffith and Working Girl. You remember this? She thinks of herself as an executive assistant. But then finally, at the end of the movie, she starts to realize, she's amazing at this. She's even better than her boss. So yeah, all the way from campy 80’s movies to Queen Elsa in Frozen, right? “Let It Go.” She was no longer holding back.
This is an archetypal image that we see represented again and again, because we feel it in ourselves. But unfortunately, it's uncommon to live it. We're conditioned to be uncertain, right? We're told we're not good at math, we're not good at business, we're always unsafe, we always need protection. And so, we need to heed the advice of others. We shouldn't take up too much space or attention. We should put everyone ahead of ourselves; the list goes on and on.
We're wired to be uncertain, too. Our brain is paying attention to the 99 ways that there's a problem with this idea, rather than the one way that it will absolutely work. But throughout all of this, clarity is an available choice; always. We just need to surface it, and then have the courage and the resilience to pursue it.
Again, this is the mission that I'm dedicated to. Because how can you do your own thing, create your own thing in your own way, when you don't really know what your thing is? It's impossible to live the uncommon life of your choosing, when you're either constantly talking yourself out of your ideas, or constantly bouncing your ideas off of others.
Do you think this is a good idea? Am I doing this right? What am I missing here? When you're bouncing ideas off of anyone and everyone; your partner, your friends, the marketplace. Checking if your ideas seem to be aligned with what other people in your industry are saying. What that's doing, is inadvertently coloring your own thoughts and desires, right?
Little bits of their opinions attach themselves to yours, they water them down. They invalidate them. They make them conform to whatever seems reasonable or preferable to the crowd. I've talked to women who finally connect their dots, and they say, “Okay, this is what it's about.” And then, they tell me, “I had thought of that before, but I was talked out of it.”
And, that is a waste of time. I know that, as coaches, we're not supposed to say anything is wasted time. But being a woman who spent two decades not moving forward on my purpose, and not having the tools that I have now, I consider that wasted time. Too many people live their lives this way; not honoring their gifts, not seeing their gifts, their desires, their inspiration, their genius.
And how different does our world look because of it? What would our world be, if we were filled with something else? Right? If it were filled with people who deeply knew and trusted themselves, and own their genius, and believed they were worthy and capable of creating the exact life they wanted. How much more fulfilled would we be? How much more innovation would there be? How much more dynamic and energized would we be? And therefore, how much kinder would we be able to be to each other?
Those are the kinds of questions that I decided to play with in this lifetime, according to my chart. I guess, it was even before this lifetime. But it is such an honor and a thrill to see the results play out in front of my eyes every day. It is worth all of my energy and attention, to see how to facilitate that transformation faster and better. And so, I was so excited when I found the tool of Human Design. It has so much to offer. And if you've never played with it before, I think you should play with it now.
All right, my friends. Remember that deep down, you know exactly who you are. And each day, you're stepping further into what you're here to create. See you next time.
Hey, if you're a coach who wants true clarity about your secret sauce, your people, your best way of doing business, and how you talk about your offer, then I invite you to join us in the Clarity Accelerator. I'll teach you to connect all the dots; the dots that have always been there for you. So, that you can show up like you were born for exactly this.
Come join us and supercharge every other tool or tactic you'll ever learn, from Facebook ads to manifestation. Just go to TheUncommonWay.com/schedule and set up a time to talk. I can't wait to be your coach.
Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity First Strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.
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Ep #20: Business Sufficiency
We’ve all heard of scarcity and abundance, but what we don’t spend much time talking about is the land in the middle - sufficiency - the place where you have exactly what you need to create the results you want in your life and business. This concept has made a huge difference in my life, and I’m showing you how the same is possible for you this week.
Episode Summary
Jenna shares the concept of Business Sufficiency and explains why you already have everything you need to achieve the results you want in your life and business.
Get clear on what you offer to whom and how to talk about it … plus actually believe it. Join us in our Clarity Accelerator 60-day bootcamp by scheduling a call here.
Enjoy the show? Leave a review to help other likeminded entrepreneurs gain clarity in their businesses.
If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.
Show Notes
Did you know that you have the freedom to create whatever you want, and you already have everything you need to do this? If you want to step into a completely non-traditional way of doing business, where you’re not just chasing dollars but doing the work you’re here to do, you have to believe that you already have everything you need. So today, I’m introducing you to an advanced concept to help you with this: Business Sufficiency.
We’ve all heard of scarcity and abundance, but what we don’t spend much time talking about is the land in the middle - sufficiency - the place where you have exactly what you need to create the results you want in your life and business. This concept has made a huge difference in my life, and I’m showing you how the same is possible for you this week.
Join me this week and discover why business sufficiency will move you a huge step closer to the uncommon business you’ve been dreaming about, and help you create satisfaction way beyond money, and prosperity without the hustle. Find out why reprogramming your brain around business sufficiency will be so fruitful for you, and how it can allow you to keep going beyond what your immediate circumstances might dictate.
What You’ll Learn From This Episode:
How to challenge yourself to work smarter, not harder.
Some of the thoughts that aren’t available to you when you are in scarcity.
How to get into the energy of sufficiency and develop the belief that you have what you need.
The importance of getting clear on your insufficiency and your remedy for it.
Some things to start to think through to help you with business sufficiency.
What can happen when you truly believe that you have enough.
How to cultivate business sufficiency whenever you need to.
Listen to the Full Episode:
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Full Episode Transcript:
If you want to step into a completely nontraditional way of doing business where you're not just chasing dollars, but actually doing the work you're here to do, creating satisfaction way beyond money, tapping into your secret sauce, but also creating prosperity because you're able to call in amazing clients without hustle then you're going to have to believe that you don't need to hustle. That's right. If you don't believe that, you will keep hustling.
So today, I'm introducing you to an advanced concept that I teach inside the Clarity Accelerator, Business Sufficiency. It will move you a big step closer to that uncommon business that you've been dreaming about.
You're listening to The Uncommon Way business and life coaching podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life by prioritizing your clarity and your own uncommon way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top ranked business coach and reformed over analyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.
Hey, welcome back to The Uncommon Way. Thank you for being here with me to celebrate episode 20. I'm choosing to celebrate that as a big milestone because why not? So at the time of this recording, we're heading into Thanksgiving week, and my son Dylan is off for the first time because he's now in kindergarten, and they take breaks. I've got to say time and resources are feeling a little scarce right now.
I had to laugh because I've already planned the topic for this week. Then here's life just providing the perfect illustration, again. So of course, I've got to catch that old, tired pattern and get back into sufficiency. So I'm using the word sufficiency, but I could also be saying enoughness. When I mean enoughness, it's not how I used to think about it, and how maybe you're thinking about it. As in this is good enough.
I remember when I was working in corporate, and I felt like I definitely didn't want to be there. But I was getting big time into yoga at the same time, and I interpreted this concept of being in the now to mean that I shouldn't want anything more. That I should just be grateful and content with everything I had and maintain the status quo. If I didn't want that I was ungrateful and unspiritual now that I think about it.
So in this situation, I would be asking myself questions like why am I stressing? I should be grateful that Dylan’s healthy and we're together. I mean if he's healthy, what do I have to complain about? I would have said you know what? Instead of focusing on what I don't have, childcare, I should be looking forward to the time I get to spend with him. Maybe I'll just cancel all my calls and then beat myself up for feeling cranky in any way.
But no, that is not what I'm talking about here when I talk about sufficiency. Instead, what I'm suggesting is that we have the freedom to create whatever we want. That, in fact, we have everything we need already to do this. I have what I need to create the result I want. I want to help you with this concept and give you some examples of how it applies to business because it's made a huge difference in my business, in life, and in my clients. It's really allowed us to keep going beyond what immediate circumstances might dictate.
So last week in the podcast on achieving your goals through choosing uncommon actions, I threw out an example of one of those uncommon actions being maybe you want to do the work to believe that your business has everything it needs right in this moment to reach your immediate goal. Now some of you might be like what is that? What is she even talking about? Clearly, my audience is stale. Clearly Facebook ads aren't working like they used to, etc.
I see this type of energy come up in all different stages of business. So, for instance, people do finally have the clarity and they're like okay, ready to go. But wait, I didn't sign a client today. So what am I going to do to reach this goal? Am I going to expand to a different platform? I obviously need to do something more to achieve this. Then you'll see it again oh in just about every other stage of business. I have several multiple six figure and seven figure clients that also default automatically to the doing, the hustle.
Notice, you all know my clients want to bring in clients without feeling hustle-y. But the minute they don't have the exact result they want, so many of them, and of course, I've been there too. Our brain goes into how do I have to hustle to achieve this? Of course, their brain’s not saying the word hustle because they would reject that, but maybe it says, oh, I need to cross promote. Right? Something like that. But it's some form of doing more, which is a practiced thought pattern. Your brain’s used to thinking that way.
So it problem solves by thinking that way. It ends up creating the same issues over and over, but hey, it's kept you alive. So it must be working. That pattern is what we need to undermine. Because really, it's just all made up by our brain. If you want to bring on clients without hustle, you first need to believe that you don't need to hustle. I'll say that again. If you want to bring on clients without hustle, it starts with you believing that you don't need to hustle. Hence the concept of business efficiency.
Now, what is sufficiency? We've all heard of scarcity. We've all heard of abundance, but what we don't spend a lot of time talking about is that land in the middle. That is the place where you have exactly what you need. Just spend a minute, think back over your life, even times that seemed kind of dire where in the end, you had what you needed. You had the roof over your head. You had just enough money come in. You've been able to keep going, or you've been able to make something happen. Once you decided that you really wanted to make it happen, you found a way.
So we've seen that with all sorts of personal experiences. Sometimes on sales calls, I'll talk to people who are just a hell yes. They want in so badly. They say I just don't have the money. The first thing I recommend to them is to really just light a candle, whatever, close their eyes, take some deep breaths, and get into this energy of sufficiency first. Before they try and think of anything, really ground into the belief that they've had what they needed, that they're infinitely resourceful, and that it makes sense that there would be an answer for them. Then let your brain get creative.
You know someone might say I do have this heirloom piece of jewelry, and it's gaudy, and hideous, and I would never wear it. I really think my great grandma would love for me to use it to invest in myself. But I never would have thought to ask, do you have gaudy, hideous heirloom jewelry you might want to sell to us for this purpose? Or they may say you know what? Just the other day there was someone talking about this grant for women entrepreneurs. It didn't really register at the moment, but I guess I could apply for that.
Those thoughts aren't available to you when you are in full scarcity. You need to elevate yourself to at least sufficiency to start finding those answers. The same thing is true for business.
This is exactly what we learned to create and cultivate in the Clarity Accelerator through a process called the sufficiency formula. Because insufficiency or scarcity is the single biggest driver of overwork. It leads to lost sales. It leads to brain drama and sleepless nights. It leads to a very negative spiral of this isn't working. It really undermines your ability to step forward as a powerful CEO and a powerful creator of your future. It takes you away from what you should be focusing on and instead scatters your thoughts and energy, learning all sorts of new skills.
Instead of becoming really, really good at one or two things, you're half-assing 10 of them. It fucks with your messaging. It leads you to argue with your audience, lecture them, maybe become inconsistent, or to bring on unaligned clients. When you're thinking I can't control this, you show up as less in control, less confident. Then your audience doesn't feel confident investing with you. It stalls your growth.
All of this is perfectly understandable, right? We understand that our brain is wired to perceive problems, and that we're conditioned to solve those problems by doing more. But it's a brain tick, a counterproductive brain tick, again, that stalls your growth. If you aren't clear on these patterns within yourself, and you're not clear on where your insufficiencies are and your remedy for them, you keep spinning your wheels.
So here's what you can start to think through. What if my business already has everything I need to reach my next immediate goal? How might that be true? Just play with it. Right? It's just a thought exercise. Maybe you'll start thinking hm I do have 500 followers on Instagram, right? It is possible that just three of those could become clients. Or I do have these people in my orbit that have indicated they want to work with me at some point. I could check in with them.
Keep going through every aspect of your business. Find those little gaps in belief where it feels emotionally charged and you know you have to do some work to clean that up. Right? How do I have enough expertise right now to help my next client? So you're not running off to get more certifications or researching more or holding off on talking at all because you're not qualified enough.
How is my audience of fully resourceful and capable of paying for this? I mean, the lifetime value is unquantifiable. So this is a no brainer. They're resourceful enough to get what they need from your offer with your support. How am I already receiving plenty of guidance from my audience about what they need to hear? What do I know that they need to hear next? How am I already receiving enough guidance from my higher self when I just get still and listen?
I think of business sufficiency in four main categories, and we break this down further, but these are the main ones. Yourself, right? You are enough. Your clients, they are enough. Your business activities, they are enough. Energetics, this is enough. How are those combined more than enough?
Because here's what happens when they are my friends, when you're fully in that knowingness. Not la-la fantasy, but true believability. You and your brain are clear. You and your brain are united about this. Any new skills you're learning are for the future business. I'll say it again. Any new skills you're learning or for your future business. You're learning to deliver amazing webinars, or you're learning the skill of Facebook ads without neediness and pressure, right? Because your current business activities are already enough.
I have a client who says Instagram is my laboratory. Right? She's just there to play. So of course you accelerate your results when you have that attitude. With that knowingness, there's no need to overwork and hustle. You can get very strategic about the actions you are taking. Your messaging is cleaner so you draw in clients that are inspired by the possibilities rather than motivated by scarcity or shame or whatever else.
They're thinking this is what's possible for me. I just have to decide. You become very good at the activities you've chosen, whether that's cold emailing or social media or Facebook ads. Your mind is freed up for ideas that are high income producing for you and wildly valuable for your clients and audience. Your clients start getting better results. Because, of course, you're thinking proactively. You're planning, you're visioning. You get creative ideas for how to connect better with your audience, quality over quantity. Hey, you enjoy life more.
I've been in such a dark place about my business in the past before beginning this work, but that is a choice. It doesn't have to be your reality. It changes your business in about a million gazillion other ways, which is a technical term, by the way. A million gazillion. Basically you vibrate higher, and so does what you see reflected.
Are you feeling this? Do you see why I'm saying that just this piece, just reprogramming your brain around business efficiency would be so fruitful for you. Your future self looks back and says oh, I remember what that period was about, that three months or whatever. That's when I was really learning the skill of how to cultivate business efficiency whenever I need to. I'm so grateful because it has changed everything about my business and life since. I create with so much more power now.
I'm so glad I didn't give into my amygdala when it was shouting at me you're gonna die homeless on the streets. Don't take your foot off the gas. Get out there and hustle. Instead I focused on honing this skill. Maybe it was doing the dangling carrot approach, which I've definitely fallen victim to right? Which is if you just learn this one new tactic or you just do this one thing, you'll never have to work at things like this and feel discomfort again. It is not true, my friends. You will feel discomfort because you have a human brain and an inner visionary, and they're pulling you in opposite directions.
Which is why in the Clarity Accelerator, there are no dangling carrot. We don't focus on shiny objects. We focus on business fundamentals. These fundamentals can be applied however makes sense for you and your audience. What problem are you solving really, and for whom? How do they think about it, and the solution? How can I create effective messaging that's fundamentally the same whether I'm standing in line at Starbucks or running Facebook ads?
When I was running ads, I would get these pop up messages from Facebook telling me your ad is performing better than whatever it was, 75% of other ads. Obviously, it's the same with my website. My website performs better than oh god, what would it be? 99.9% of websites for this search term.
It's not the application. It's the messaging, the deep stuff that a lot of people want to skip because it's triggering to get clear when you feel so uncertain. I know who I am and who I'm not. I know who my people are, and I definitely know who they aren't. I know how to create messaging that lands, as do my clients. These are business fundamentals. Your business suffers without them, whether you're a solo coach or a fortune 500 company because all of those points evolve.
So this is work we can't be complacent about. It's the backbone of everything. I know you know this because you're here listening. If you're nodding your head, then get moving on this now. You just need to decide, right. This is the best time to join us in the Clarity Accelerator. Right now, you'll still get one to one calls with me as part of that program. That will be eliminated soon because my clients are doing so well with the way everything is explained and structured. I keep honing this, and my clients are just running with it.
So you'll get the proven connect the dots process that you can't find anywhere else, and you'll get this efficiency formula that you can't find anywhere else and more. The tools you need to know yourself, know your people, and speak to how those two connect. Plus, this is just an exciting time for this work.
Holidays and the new year are naturally when you reflect and set intentions. When you can get those goals and put those wheels in motion with clarity, it amplifies the results for the year. The universe is like got it. Finally. Well thought out clean instructions. Thank you.
Even if you're like you know what? New Year's is just an arbitrary date, and I don't even do the resolutions thing. This is a natural cycle that our bodies have been evolving in for millennia. This is our return towards the sun and warmth and productivity and fertility. It's the ideal almost magical time to get your brain on board with this. I am so excited for the people starting right now. They're gonna be like what is happening. I know how these things work.
Okay, my friends, you have everything you need right now to get to that next level of what you want. You're swimming in enoughness. Now it's time to get really smart and strategic with it, to challenge yourself to work smarter, not harder. This is the uncommon work. This is the hard work that most people don't do. They drive themselves into the ground instead, or they just put their dreams aside. But you are meant for something different. Luckily, you're fully capable of creating it. Remember, on a certain level, you know who you are. Each day you're stepping further into what you're here to create. I'll talk to you next week.
Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business in life, including the clarity first strategy for growing and scaling your business. Visit theuncommonway.com See you next time.
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Ep #19: Achieve Your Goals: Choosing Uncommon Actions
When we think about doing something or taking in our business, we think about actions like adding in another webinar or posting more frequently on social media. But I encourage clients to think outside of the box in terms of actions, and this week, I’m giving you a new way to think about actions, and helping you categorize your actions so you can start using them to create the results you want.
Episode Summary
Jenna gives you a new way to think about the actions you’re taking in your business.
Get clear on what you offer to whom and how to talk about it … plus actually believe it. Join us in our Clarity Accelerator 60-day bootcamp by scheduling a call here.
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Show Notes
As entrepreneurs, we can do a lot of spinning. We spin in action, we spin wondering why our actions fell flat, and we spin as we scheme about the next actions we need to take. We try our best to do all the things we need to do to be successful, and it feels like we all just do, do, do. But what if there’s a different way? What if there’s a whole category of things you could do that you’re not even thinking about?
When we think about doing something or taking in our business, we think about actions like adding in another webinar or posting more frequently on social media. But I encourage clients to think outside of the box in terms of actions, and this week, I’m giving you a new way to think about actions, and helping you categorize your actions so you can start using them to create the results you want.
In this episode, I’m sharing the difference between traditional, common actions and non-traditional, uncommon actions. I’m diving deeper into the concept of non-traditional actions so you can see how they are amplifying everything you’re doing, and why when you do this, you will never think about actions in the same way again.
What You’ll Learn From This Episode:
Why relying on common actions is holding you back.
The reason we are so often not receiving the results we want.
Why you don’t have to always feel 100% inspired to take action.
The importance of letting yourself rest and enjoy where you are.
How common actions are actually the by-product of the real work.
Some questions to ask yourself to change your actions.
Listen to the Full Episode:
Featured on the Show:
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Full Episode Transcript:
You know that thing you're working on accomplishing? The one where you're trying your best to do all the things you need to do, in order to be successful? What if there's a whole category of things you could do that you're not even thinking about? What if those are like, supercharged actions? For every ounce of effort you put in, you get exponential results. You'd be down for trying them out, right? All right, then stick around. I've got some ideas for you.
You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life, by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top ranked business coach and reformed overanalyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.
Hey, welcome back to The Uncommon Way. I am recording this right before my husband and I head out for a long weekend; we decided to do this about 24 hours ago. I love, so much, that with entrepreneurship, I can make it happen. I can reschedule some things, and we can just go.
So, we are actually looking for a retirement place. I know that sounds funny. But my husband is in the military, they retire very early. He'll, of course, continue to do work, but he'll retire from the military. And we, after years of being told where to live, when to move, get to choose. Now, that sounds wonderful.
Except we've lived in so many places, and we've really liked a lot of them. So, how in the world do you narrow it down? Anyway, we have no choice; it's coming up in about a year and a half. So, we decided that we'd start looking around at some different cities, maybe that we hadn't visited in a while, or we've never visited before. And, we want to be on the east so that we can fly to Europe more quickly.
We plan to spend, in the beginning, about half the year there and then potentially build up. So, we want to have easy access. I and my husband are both warm weather people. So, we'd like to be somewhere like, south of DC. And we're going to North Carolina, this weekend. We're going to the Raleigh Durham area, Research Triangle.
By the way, if you have any strong opinions about great cities to move to in that area, please let me know. Because we have a limited amount of weekends that we can rely on my sweet mom to watch my son, while we go gallivanting off. But anyway, it is going to be really fun to just get away and see someplace new.
We met over our love of travel. And anytime we can do it again, we're both down for it. I've got to tell you, apart from that, I'm also feeling a little extra excited recording this episode. Because I got some feedback, about somebody that listened to the interview that I did with my client, Ale. And said that that already helped them clarify a big decision that they needed to make, just listening to it.
Whenever I create content, I've seen this through everything that's happened for me with Google and blogging, but when I create content, I believe in the bottom of my heart that it's meant for somebody; it's going to reach someone. And of course, I don't know who, but I also don't know when. I think things live on forever.
I've had people that are scrolling back through content, on all different platforms or by website, and they found something that they said really resonated with them. And so, as I've been creating these podcast episodes, I have that in my mind, right? Like, this episode, I don't know when it's going to land for someone, I don't know who it's going to be. But there will be that connection.
It’s just really neat when it happens so quickly, right? When I can put something out and right away someone's like, that's exactly what I needed to hear. So, I encourage you to also let me know what you want to hear. Or, if something did land for you, so that I can create more things like that in the podcast reviews.
That is such a perfect way to let me know and really get what you need out of this. Okay, let's move on. As entrepreneurs, we can do a lot of spinning, right? We spin in action, we are spinning wondering why our actions fell flat, or spinning as we scheme about the next actions we need to take. And in this episode, I want to help you categorize your actions into two categories.
We've got our traditional, or common actions. And then, our non-traditional, or uncommon actions. I'll show you why relying on common actions is holding you back. And we'll deep dive into this concept of non-traditional actions, so that you can see how they'll amplify everything else you're doing. So much so, that you'll never think about actions in the same way again.
So, our first line of thinking when there's some gap, right? There's some gap between what we have and what we want to create. We start thinking; okay, what do I need to do? And in order to create different, you need to do differently or be differently; something has to be different.
But let's break it down a little. What is “do” exactly? What do we mean when we say “do”? Usually, especially for entrepreneurship, we think about actions like, okay, I'll add in another webinar, or I'll write a post more frequently on social media. I do encourage my clients to think out of the box ideas when it comes to these kinds of actions, right?
Because who says we have to do what everyone else is doing? So, even with the common traditional actions, there can be uncommon ways of doing them. But there's another type of action that I want to focus on today, that isn't usually considered at all, and I'd argue is far more important.
So, the last episode was a podcast on uncommon goals. And one of the things I asked you to do there, is to get clear on where your growth is for the next period. In this episode, I want to ask; what if your real growth isn't about stretching into higher revenue through, like I said, increasing your visibility with webinars or whatever? What if your real growth lies somewhere else? What if there is plenty of room for you to bring on more clients just doing exactly what you're already doing?
Sometimes I'll talk to someone and they're like, “Well, I need to do this thing. I need to add something in.” And I'll say, “Okay, well, how many people are on your list?” They'll say, “About 300. That isn't working, people aren't buying from my list.”
Okay, so maybe we just need to keep doing what we're doing, and enhance how we're doing it. There are 300 people, you're looking for one client. But in order to lean into that, you really have to believe that there's plenty of room already, right?
Even just through social media, there is plenty of room to call in that one next client. Even through, some of you are blogging, right, even through that, there's room to call in your one next client. And really, if I just work on that belief, I will show up in a different way. And that will create my result.
We'll go into these a little more further on. But, you know, another idea is, what if it's just increasing your capacity to receive? And finally dealing with that nagging feeling that this just feels too easy, or too good. Right? What if you finally tackled that over the next six months, or whatever the period is?
What if it's practicing, not thinking this one thought? That one thought that always send you spiraling into a pattern of unhelpful behaviors? Which, and then, shows up in your output and results. Like, what if this is where I'm learning not to default to that thought? How would that change things for you? Sometimes when I broach the subject with new clients who aren't used to the work, they say, “So, what? I just sit around and my business results are just magically supposed to happen?”
No, friends, this is work. This is work. This is far harder, in many ways, than busy actions that we take. Than keeping a buffer between our conscious brain and what you're really feeling, because you're so busy with stuff. And thankfully, you don't have time to feel. And since it's harder, few people really do it.
If this were more common, the world would be a very different place; we'd be much calmer, kinder, less self-sabotaging; if we were working on ourselves. So, just stretch your brain with me here. This doesn't have to be what you adopt. But just for the next, I don't know, half hour that we're on this podcast, just start playing with: What if those are actually the best, most productive things I could do for my business?
I can't tell you how many of my clients have finally given themselves some time off. They've taken a vacation or something; maybe you felt this too. And then they just come back supercharged. And that proves that their growth, their true growth, is in giving themselves a chance to rest. Because what would they be capable of if they were always in that state? What kind of thought leadership, what kind of contribution would they be bringing to the world?
And when you're at that level, you can't help but attract interest. You know, what if you take today off, and then within a day or two, you whip out this really inspired newsletter? You just sit down and just comes right out. Versus spending a week writing and rewriting, forcing yourself to push through, but your brain’s feeling like molasses and you just can't seem to formulate your ideas.
I mean, I don't have any personal experience with that myself. Of course, a friend told me about it; just kidding. This was the story of my life for the first years of my business. But what if the “do” of the ‘what do I do to call in my next client’, what if that action you need to take is, work on myself?
There are some people that spend too much time working on themselves, and they aren't taking any action. That is not who I'm speaking to, right now. I'm speaking to y’all that are always trying to do-do-do, even if it's coming from desperation, and sometimes even if it's not really stretching you.
So, let's open up to the idea of uncommon actions or non-traditional actions, They’re actions, just like any traditional action you might be used to. I said, in the “Goals” podcast, the only purpose of a goal is what's that goal going to do for you? Right? When you look back on this period in your life, how can you say, “That's the time when I was learning to X”?
Right now, pick a random year of your life. Let's just take the pandemic, because we can think of that quickly. In hindsight, what were you really learning or accomplishing in your life or doing then? Like, “That's the time when I was learning to be more truthful in relationships,” Or, “That's the time when I was learning that there was a completely different way of working than I'd ever imagined. That everyone would be fine if we telecommuted.”
“That's the time when I was learning to really be with my fear of the future.” Or, “That's the time when we were changing cities. We decided to make this change. And then, I was really getting to know this new city during that time.” You can do the same thing with this period, now in your life. Like, what is it really about?
Think that through, for a second, for yourself, about the pandemic. I'll give you a second. Okay, now continue that connection with your highest knowing, when you ask: What is this next period in my life really about? What am I needing to learn on behalf of my future self? That's far more valuable and important than the actual result I'm shooting for, right?
How will I be able to look back and say, “That's when I was learning to do X, when I was really improving my copywriting. And I was doing it then, in order to bring in X number of clients. But I had no idea then, that that skill was really what was going to allow me to bring in millions of dollars of revenue. That's what it was really about in that moment.”
Okay, I'm just gonna run, quickly, through some ideas. This list is not complete, obviously. Stretch your brain to see what you really need. And as I'm reading these, just feel in your body for a little hit of acknowledgment, of knowledge, of recognition; like, yeah, I do need to work on that.
One is, I've mentioned before, increasing the capacity to receive; I have a whole podcast on that. So often, the reason that we're not receiving our results, is because of all the stories we have around what it will mean if we do actually accomplish that thing.
And/or it's just so unfamiliar to us, it feels so scary. Maybe this is a time when you really work on your decision making. You really learn to just make a decision, and then feel it in your body. Go with your intuition; trust it, move forward, learn from it, evaluate. You're just practicing making a lot of decisions and firing up that muscle; that self-knowing muscle.
Maybe, this is a time when you're really clearing old baggage and conditioning. Maybe, you're building a new belief, like, “I am the right coach for my clients,” or, “I don't need to do anything more.” Maybe, you're working on the belief that more time doesn't create my results; I do. I do, through my brain and thinking up ideas, I create results.
Maybe, you're growing your self-concept, right? You're starting to see yourself as that business owner, or as that coach, rather than whatever it is you used to do. Maybe, you're practicing noticing what it is that you really want, and then giving it to yourself first. Right? What is that thing? Is it you want more downtime? You want more recognition? How can you give it to yourself first?
Maybe, you're breaking bad habits. As many of you know, I've been breaking the bad habit of overworking. Maybe, you're breaking a bad habit of an unhelpful thought ,or an unhelpful way of thinking, right? You're catching that and you're redirecting it. Even if you can do this with just one unhelpful thought, it could be the most important thing that you'll do for your business, right now.
For me, one thought that seemed completely innocent, was, “I'll just do this first. I'll just do this first,” and then, I would get involved with something; time would “run away” with me; I would let time run. I would then, not have accomplished what I wanted to accomplish.
So, just working on catching that one thought, if I had spent three months doing that and that was my primary focus, that would have paid off so much, in the long run for my business. In fact, it did, because I got it. That's what I ended up doing.
Recently, with a client, we caught a really unhelpful thought of hers. She didn't even realize that she was disqualifying her audience. Her thought was, “I don't think they want to work with me.” So, she was going in to kind of give a presentation, but she'd already decided these weren't actually the people that were going to buy.
So, what did she create? She created these people; they didn't buy, no one bought. And we realized, that if we could just work on that thought, like really believing that, actually, someone here either wants to buy or know someone that wants to buy; like, this is working. And, she wasn't disqualifying anyone, that that could have a massive impact.
Or, sometimes the underlying thought is, “I don't think they know they need this. I have to show them how much they need this.” Well, why would you sell to those people who don't want it? Who don't want you? This is the work we do in phase two of the Clarity Accelerator; “Know Your People”.
You have to get very, very clear on who you're actually speaking to. When I say your people, it's not just the broad or even the specific niche, right? There's so much variation and nuance within that group. Within the niche of, I don't know, physicians that want to be more present for their kids.
There's a huge variation of what, we in the marketing world call “psychographics”. What is that psychological makeup that brings you the best clients? Speak to them. Maybe, your work is about leaning into the work that you are teaching, specifically. So, if you are, I don't know, teaching time management, how can you, yourself, better manage your time?
Maybe, it's tuning in and really listening to yourself, your higher self, and seeking internal guidance, right? You tend to just kind of go fast, go furious, and you don't really do those check-ins. What if you started doing those check-ins throughout the day? How would that change things for you?
Maybe, it's practicing rest and enjoyment. I had a client, she was reflecting on this, because she knew this was her work. Right? And she was saying, It's hard to believe that that is the challenge.” I think of challenge, the word “challenge”, is something that doesn't let you enjoy life. But now actually, my challenge is to enjoy life.
And, it's hard. We say, “I haven't reached X goal, how can I enjoy life yet? I’ll enjoy life when X.” But really learning to do the work, of letting yourself rest and enjoy where you are, that’s work. And these are all things, all the things that I just mentioned, tend to be very supported energetically.
First, it behooves humankind that you work on these kinds of things. That you then radiate that out, for the benefit of everyone. And also, you're a higher vibe, and so you attract different things into your life. You, in your highest vibe state, it makes sense that the universe would want to connect people with you. Would know that you'd be able to help other people take that step closer.
Because when you start to do these things, you really show up differently. We've talked about this in the past. I mean, just think about it. A person who gets really inspired and shares on Instagram®, that's a completely different energy than someone who's thinking, “I need to put out this many content pieces, in order to trip the algorithm, and get this many clients.”
What's really going on there, is that that form of communication is just what you do; it's just a reflection of who you are. You felt, you are a person who's inspired. From that inspired feeling you decide to share with people. And, they receive it from that place.
It's so different than, “I need to put out three pieces of content a week, even though I don't really feel like doing it.” Now, I’m not saying that we always have to feel 100% inspired in order to take action. What I'm saying, is that your traditional actions can be a reflection of who you are.
Another thing, is that your nervous system’s relaxed, right? Your mental state is in a different place, so you have access to all sorts of thoughts and creative solutions, that you normally wouldn't. And you move into this expectation of, how could it not work? It has to. So many people need this. This is so exciting. This is so good, I'm almost tingling.
Really, your identity is shifting in that process. Who are you? You are a person that leads with your ideas. So, the big punch line of all of this, we all, is what we think of as those common actions, the webinars, whatever, they're actually just the byproduct of the real work; they're the result.
For those of you that are LCS coaches, or you're familiar with the model, try taking the webinar, or whatever action, out of your A-line, out of your action line, and put it into the result line. The webinar is the result of what? What do you have to be thinking and feeling, for the natural result of that to be, “Oh, my gosh, this is so good. I must call these people together. Let's just do a live training,” as an example.
I'm not a big webinar person; there are infinite ways to grow a business that don't involve webinars. I'm just using that as an example because it's something we tend to think about. The results that come from the thoughts you put into the webinar, are reflection of who you are, and the work you've done on yourself.
It's just occurring to me, about this podcast for instance, I put off having a podcast for years. And really, this podcast was just a reflection of the work I'd done on myself. Of me believing that I did have the time in my schedule for one. That I would just hire this out and get support; that I could be supported like this. And also, that my ideas were ready to go.
I think I used to have this thought that I might be changing my ideas in the future about what I wanted to talk about. And therefore, I didn't want to have anything out there, that I then look back on and think, “Oh, what was I thinking? How was I leading people down the wrong path?” I don't know, this was, now that I'm remembering, this was a big fear of mine. Right?
And so, the work I've done on myself, of believing that everything I have right now is meant for someone right now. And that it's okay for me, in the future to say, “Hey, you know what? I used to think of it this way. Now, I think of it this way.” That that all was perfectly okay; perfectly okay.
This podcast, then, was a reflection of that. This podcast has never been about, “I need to create more clients. I'm going to do it this way.” It was very much about, “I've got all of this great stuff. We're doing all this great stuff over here. And, I need to let other people know. I need to let them know about this other way of doing business.”
So, before we sign off, here is what I suggest you ask yourself: How would I show up, if I truly believed that everyone needs to hear this? Would it be, “Hey, we all need to get together for a big webinar,” or would it be something else? And then, what action? What uncommon action am I going to take, in order to grow into that belief?
All right, my friends, that is it for today. Remember, on a certain level, you know who you are. And, each day you're just stepping into what you're here to create.
Hey, if you’re a coach who wants true clarity about your secret sauce, your people, your best way of doing business, and how you talk about your offer, then I invite you to join us in the Clarity Accelerator. I’ll teach you to connect all the dots. The dots that have always been there for you. So, that you can show up like you were born for exactly this.
Come join us and supercharge every other tool or tactic you’ll ever learn, from Facebook ads to manifestation. Just go to TheUncommonWay.com/schedule and set up a time to talk. I can’t wait to be your coach!
Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity First Strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.
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Ep #18: Choosing Uncommon Goals
What if the way you thought you should set goals and how you should be during the process and at the final result was wrong for you, and actually getting in the way of your results? Would you be open to trying something new? Well, I might just have the guidance you need this week.
Episode Summary
Jenna shares what a goal is, how so many of us are used to setting goals, and a new way to start setting goals for yourself.
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Show Notes
A goal is an intentional statement about what you’ve decided to believe is possible for yourself. When you set a goal and pursue it as the captain of your own ship while tuning in to your inner guidance and doing things your own way, it is very powerful. So what if you could throw out all the rules and everything you know about goals, and do them differently?
What if the way you thought you should set goals and how you should be during the process and at the final result was wrong for you, and actually getting in the way of your results? Would you be open to trying something new? Well, I might just have the guidance you need this week.
In this episode, I’m sharing the difference between common and uncommon goals and giving you a new way to set goals so you can finally set yourself up for success in 2023. Discover how to spot a common goal, what’s typically being left out when you set a common goal and some mindset perspectives that support uncommon goal-making so you can change the way you approach them moving forward.
What You’ll Learn From This Episode:
Some common characteristics of common goals.
How black-and-white thinking can show up with your goals.
Why your next goal has nothing to do with the results of your past.
How to become a woman who owns her value and expertise and knows how to articulate it.
What people don’t stop to consider when making common goals.
The only purpose of a goal.
Some powerful questions to ask yourself before your next goal.
How we commonly set goals and what we make them mean.
Listen to the Full Episode:
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Full Episode Transcript:
What if you can throw out all the rules and do goals totally differently? What if the way you thought you should set goals, and how you should be during the process, and at the final result was completely wrong for you? Was actually getting in the way of your results? Would you be open to trying something new? If so, stick around.
You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life, by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top ranked business coach and reformed overanalyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.
Hey, welcome back to The Uncommon Way. It's November, everyone. It's an exciting time, right? We tend to not be just cruising along this time of year, right? It's not same old, same old. And I love any time when we are off autopilot, when we're really paying attention. So, maybe we're reflecting on the year; we're prepping for the next year.
In the Clarity Accelerator, this specific time’s pretty magical. It's an eight-week journey, you know, so when you enter now, you're perfectly set up to hit the ground running in January. I love that for my clients. You finally know then what to put on your vision board, you know, to really take advantage of that new year's energy. You have clarity around your people, your offer, the work you're doing. It's always powerful work, but it's extra now.
But let's be real, right? There are some other emotions, besides excitement, that tend to show up this time of year. I don't know about you, but my brain can start to offer up some scarcity thoughts. Like, we have this ritual at the house where we all get together the first day of the month, and we turn over the calendar page together. Each year I make this calendar for all of the relatives with pictures of Dylan.
So, every calendar month has a picture of Dylan from the year before. And of course, it's themed to the month and everything; the grandparents love it. But the favorite part for Dylan, is I pretend to be really, really sad, but it's not that much of a pretend thing, you know? I pretend to be very sad when the calendar page turns over. I'm saying, “Oh, I'm going to miss seeing that picture, so much. That was such a special time. I remember that,” when we did X thing.
And then he flips the page, and I go, “Oh, I love that picture. You know, I'm gonna be so happy to see it for the rest of the month. I loved when we did that.” Right? So, it really is emblematic of what we're leaving behind, and what we're remembering, and being joyous. But there's something about November/December, and I know there's only two pages left in the calendar.
Which reminds me, I really need to start making the next one. But anyway, there's only two pages left. And there's that, for me, that feeling of ‘where did the year go?’ Another year; my baby's growing up; all the things. So, that's what my brain does.
But how about you? What does November bring up for you? Maybe you're having thoughts come up about goals, and what you expected for your business this year? Why don't I have the business that I thought I'd have by this point? Or, if you surpassed your goals; was I played small with that goal? Why was I playing small, again?
Or, the rush is beginning, towards the holiday, so how will I get everything done? I don't have time to make my year end goals. Or, you know what? Game over. I don't even want to think about the business or my goals. I'll try again next year. I'm just gonna give myself some grace and focus on what truly matters, my family.
Having personally worked with well over 100 women to grow their businesses, and being a woman building a business myself, if you're having any of this come up, you are so not alone. This is such a natural product of how we commonly set goals and what we make our goals mean.
Unfortunately, that can sabotage our results, just like so many New Year's resolutions that are unsuccessful. If you're showing up to dejected, or frustrated, or just totally checking out, that's not your highest energy; not a place you want to hang out for long, otherwise it is going to get in the way of your potential.
Luckily, there are uncommon ways to set goals and feel a lot better, and generate more growth; business and personal growth. I'm very passionate about this topic. I know that just this one thing, just getting women to set uncommon goals, can start to unlock everything else. A goal is an intentional statement about what you've decided to believe is possible for yourself.
When you can do that, as the captain of your own ship, tuned into your inner guidance and doing things your way, it's very powerful. Of course, that is what the Clarity Accelerator is about, right, helping you get clear on that within yourself, and then own it confidently. You heard my client, Ale, last week, being an example of that, and how confident she was in her decisions.
So, in this episode, I'm going to tell you how to spot a common goal. I'll tell you what's typically being left out when you set common goals. And then, I'll share some mindset perspectives that support uncommon goal making, and what those goals might look like. So, that you can either set a really fantastic goal for yourself for the next two months, or reinvigorate your existing goal. And/or, set yourself up for success in 2023. That is my wish for you in the new year.
Let's just dive right in. Here are some common characteristics of common goals. I'll list them off first: They're made in a very fixed way. They're reactive. We have an unintentional relationship with them. We're highly attached to the results. We don't do thorough planning for actually accomplishing the goal, or managing our minds after the goal. And if we do even evaluate our results afterwards, we don't do it constructively.
I mean, yuck; this is why lots of us don't even set goals. Sometimes I talk to people, you know, on my intake form, when people book a call with me to talk about coaching, I have several questions for them to answer. I recommend going to TheUncommonWay.com/schedule to look those questions over, because just reflecting on them will give you insights about yourself and your business.
But anyway, I ask; What results do you want to create in the next six months? And then, sometimes on the call, I get curious; so, what goal setting have you done around those? Like, what steps are you taking? There are people that say, “Well, I haven't, yet. That just kind of came to me when I was filling out the form.”
So, they think that question is kind of their wish list. It's about their wish list, right, which they can then give to their coach to make happen. Rather than a check in about where they are when it comes to actually manifesting those results. But I digress.
Anyway, let's break down common goals a little bit. So, they tend to be made in a very fixed way. Typically, it's the same way you've done it in the past, or it's based on what someone else is doing. You know, I've always set revenue goals, or my coach is telling me to set revenue goals, or this other person is setting revenue goals. So, I'm going to set a revenue goal.
They also tend to be reactive, in that it's either a stretch goal or an incremental goal. All based on the meaning that you've created and the emotions you felt from past goals or circumstances, right? We let that past then dictate our goals for the future. So, maybe we tend to have 15% growth, so that's our goal: another 15% growth.
Another thing we see, is the relationship with that goal. It's unintentional. It tends to follow really fixed patterns, as well. Because how you do one thing is usually how you do everything. So, if you have the ingrained belief that you have to work really hard to get your results, then the goal, the relationship with that goal… The goal represents your taskmaster, it's driving you to work harder. That's the relationship you've set up with this goal.
If you tend to use things as a way to beat yourself up, your goal’s here to show you the ways you're failing; that's the role of your goal. If you tend to postpone your success, believing that things take a long time, then your goal will be that far off carrot dangling in the distance. It's that elusive thing, right? That's too far away. If you tend to procrastinate and put things off, then the goal is that thing you dismiss or ignore, and you show that it's really not that important.
We do that with our dreams too often, unfortunately. You know, oh, I want to create this new thing, but I'll do it later. I'll do it after the holidays. So yeah, you know, January that'll be a really good time to start the project or work with the coach; whatever.
Look, if this is you, I'm saying this with love. Your dreams don't care about the ways you're inconvenienced by them. Or, the drama your brain will try to create around the fact that you're taking action on them. They just know that the reason you haven't materialized them yet, is because you're dismissing them, you're de-prioritizing them.
What if you really believed your dreams were worth it and they were imminent? What would you be doing? What I notice here, a lot, is a lot of black-and-white thinking, where either It's the dream or some other part of my life. I can either build my business or enjoy the holidays. I can either build my business or have some self-care.
What if going after your dreams is self-care, the greatest self-care? And it doesn't preclude other forms of self-care to think of it in that way. Learning to build a business that exists within your life. And I mean, your real life, not the life when there's this convenient lull after the holidays, right? Or, you've whipped yourself into self-loathing during the holidays, and now you have this fire under your butt.
But all of your life; your integral, whole life. That, then, is a real sustainable business. Right? Definitely listen to the episode on “Business Minimalism” for a refresher on working smarter, not harder. Your dream wants you to be like; you matter, you belong here, welcome into my life. I'm willing to manage my mind around the self-created overwhelm, in order to welcome you into my life.
Okay, off my soapbox. People are typically highly attached to the outcome of common goals. They make a result mean everything about them, about their worth as a person, about their prospects for the future. There's lots of pressure on these goals. So, you're not going to plan for managing your mind after the goal time frame.
It's almost like we don't even want to think about the goal not coming to be, because then we'll jinx something. Or, it's a sign of weakness or disbelief or something like that. But I’ve found, over and over, that this step is what lets you make peace with whatever happens, right? It creates more neutrality. And then, you put all that brain space into actually accomplishing the goal.
That way, by the end of the timeline, it's not like you're tired of thinking about it, and so you don't want to evaluate it. You do; you want to learn and grow. So, when people are making common goals, here's what they don't stop to consider. You can use this as a list for yourself, to ask these really powerful questions before your next goal.
Which of the unlimited possibilities for a goal do I want to pursue? Maybe it's revenue. But maybe it's a number of clients or consultation calls. Or, it's some form of action goals like, I'm going to have this many webinars. But there are an infinity of options.
Ask yourself: What's the why behind my goal? What's driving me to make it? Is it scarcity; I need five clients? Or, is it growth? Is it something that you want to learn to do? Some way that you want to prepare yourself for the future? What do I need to, first, clean up in my mind about past results and events? How can I set this goal from a clean place?
People rarely stop to intentionally create the relationship going forward with that goal. What is my relationship going to be with this goal? What will fuel my results, rather than sabotage them?
A goal isn't the benchmark that you measure your failure against; the goal is here to serve you. It's your partner. It's not the goal’s responsibility to make you feel happy or accomplished. Only you can make you feel that way, from within. But a good relationship with a goal means that it can definitely serve you.
How am I going to achieve that goal? Some people don't have any kind of plan. This is something we do in detail, in Module 10, which is called “Your Success Plan”. We talk all about goals and intentions, and it includes a lot of the material I'm sharing here. But as we all know, setting the goal is just the tip of the iceberg. How are you going to create success? I'll tell you this, it's far more than just the actions you take. We break it into five essential categories.
With common goals, you also tend not to ask, what would need to be true for me to detach from the outcome of the goal? And here you want to think about, how can I both go all in on these results and detach from the outcome? You can ask, what are all the things in my power that I want to focus on related to this goal? Notice I said, “In my power.” Looking at it from this perspective, is how you nurture the power within yourself.
And with common goals, you're probably not deciding in advance, how am I going to treat myself after the goal? If I have the desired result, and if I don't. Or, what about, you do get the desired result but it doesn't happen the way you were expecting? What will you allow yourself to celebrate? Will you actually allow yourself to celebrate? And by the way, you can celebrate regardless of the goal outcome. I know, so different from how we've been brought up, right?
Okay, now let's talk about uncommon goals. Uncommon goals are more tailored to you, independent of others, in service of your highest potential. First, they're not tied to the past. I know that's how we're taught to think, that the past predicts the future. But that's far from true when it comes to human ingenuity.
Your next goal has nothing to do with the results of your past. But if this is a stretch, then at least, tell yourself a creative story about your past that fuels you instead of tearing you down. And one way to do that, I'll let you know, is to get creative with time.
I have a client who had a goal of signing five new clients by the end of the year. “But I've had no consults in the last two weeks,” she told me, and there was this very dejected look on her face. As if that really meant something. As if that statement really meant something. But really, it has nothing to do with what can happen over the next months.
But our brains want to establish worrisome patterns, right? If they can decipher the danger ahead of time, you stay alive. Or, in this case, you won't have to deal with disappointment, right? I'm not going to sign five clients, so I won't get my hopes up.
But when we dug around a bit, it turns out, in the last two months she'd brought on three clients. So, she could just as easily choose to tell herself, “If I just keep doing what I'm doing, being how I'm being, there will likely be three more, right? Why wouldn't there be if nothing changes?” So, instead of looking at the timeline of the last two weeks and using that against her, she can choose to look at the timeline of the last two months and how much that serves her.
Or, you could look at the rate of change compared to last year. Oh my god. “At this rate, it's very possible that I'll be booked out by early spring.” Or, “Who knows? It could happen overnight. Things are obviously accelerating.” So, the moral of the story, if you're gonna hang out in the past, then at least use the past for you, rather than against you.
Feel the energy difference between, “Ugh, I'm not getting any people booking in for consult calls. I'll never make my year end goals.” And, “This is so exciting. I'm sliding right into being booked out. This momentum, it's just rolling.” And so of course, then that's what we tend to create, either of those two.
This does not have to be bypassing, it's not Pollyanna positivity, it can be intentional. “Oh, I see that negativity bias at work. And I see how the other is equally true. I'm choosing that one.”
All right. So, we've talked about how uncommon goals are not tied to the past. They're also highly individual and self-determined. They're totally up to you. They're here to help you become who you need to become, in order to have that result. I know this is a mind bender, but the result of a goal is secondary. Again, they're here to help you become who you need to become, in order to have that result.
The learning that happens, the transformation that happens, that's the true reason for the goal. And once the growth has happened, you'll have your results. But you don't know when that will actually happen. You've never done it before; how can you know? You don't know what mindset blocks will come up that need to be worked through, what life events will happen.
I've mentioned this before, but my business grew less quickly than might have been expected, on paper, given other things I'd accomplished in life. But I don't regret it. I had some stuff to unpack, that I probably wouldn't have done if my business had just taken off. There are things that I still see people working through, that have far larger businesses than me.
I am very grateful for where I am. And when I think back, I realize I might have had an idea for how my business and my life should go, but that's not necessarily the best thing, right? I believe we have a higher intelligence guiding us. So yes, you get to set the goal you want, in the way you want to set it.
It really is possible to set sparkly goals all of the time; goals that make you feel excited and lit up. Like, why not choose that experience? You can choose however you want to feel, so feel amazing about this thing you're working towards. And do the work you need to do, to feel amazing.
Why aren't I feel amazing about this goal? Oh, interesting. Good to know. Okay, well, that's where my work is. How different will it be when I'm no longer carrying that baggage around? Just imagine! Game changer! This is going to be so good.
Okay, I'll give some examples of these, in a second. But after first talking about how the goals are not tied to the past, and they're very individual and self-determined, I just want to go into how they have a very strong, intentional ‘why’. That step, of creating that ‘why’, really helps you detach from the outcome.
Because if your goal is just 10 clients, you're failing all the way up through nine clients. But if your goal is 10 clients this year, so that…, among other things, you vastly refine your messaging and your understanding of what helps your people feel safe to buy.
Because your goal is to one day help 1,000 women create this change in their lives, right, and 10 is the stepping stone to get there. Then, every time a new piece of your messaging locks into place, you’re like win, win, another win. And who you're becoming, is a woman who confidently owns her value and expertise, and can articulate it.
So, it's not that you lose the desire or intention for the 10 clients, but the attachment has completely shifted. Of course, you need to figure this out for you, what it is that feels real to you and is exciting enough to help you detach from the result. It's different for everyone, as it should be.
I always say, no two businesses are alike, because no two people are alike. But again, the only purpose of a goal, is what's that goal going to do for you? Who will you become, in the process of trying to achieve it? Once you become that person who achieves those results, the actual results come.
I'll say that, again; once you become the person who achieves those results, the actual results come. Take away the business of a billionaire, they'll build back to that level more quickly than you or I will, because that's just who they are now.
So, where is your growth? Is it in stretching yourself? Is it in maintaining? Is it something different? Stretch goals are great for helping us think outside of the box; about accomplishing something that blows our mind, just to see what's possible.
Now that I've doubled or exceeded doubling my business revenue in a year, that doesn't seem far-fetched to me anymore. That was great growth for me. I was willing to fail, and willing to have a relationship with myself if I failed, in order for that growth.
I can remember, in just December of last year, I was so deep into my goal, and I was paying such attention to my drivers; what was really driving my emotions and my thoughts about all of this. That I uncovered lessons that far exceeded the value of that goal, right? I remember saying, “If I'm not meant to achieve this, then it's okay. Because this other thing is worth so much more. I will sacrifice that to have finally understood this about myself.”
I think it was about recognition; there was some recognition I was craving and I needed to give recognition to myself first, or something. It was really deep at the time. I can't remember it now. Because, hey, the entrepreneurship game is just one lesson after another. So, I can't remember if that was a specific one, but it was very deep.
I do remember I was in tears. I remember exactly where I was; I was across the stream behind my house, and in another field. I was throwing the ball for my dog, and I remember kind of just having one of those moments. Where it's like the earth stops, and you finally gain that awareness. It finally clicks and you're like, oh, oh, it was so good. It was so good.
So, where was I going with that? Oh, right. Okay, so I was saying, I was willing to fail and willing to love myself through that failure, in order for that growth that I knew it would take to get me there. So, once you set a stretch goal, then you stretch yourself, in order to stretch your mind and your belief.
Maybe your growth for this period isn't about revenue or clients. Maybe it's about stretching your visibility. Maybe it's to desensitize yourself to doing Facebook Lives™. I had a client once, that did 30 straight days of Facebook Lives because it scared her to death. And afterwards, it didn't scare her anymore.
So, your goals do not have to be revenue or client based; who says revenue or client should be the main measure of success? We get to choose. Okay, before we get to choose, I've had clients come to me who were making seven figures, and they didn't really know what they wanted to do.
They did not feel successful because of the revenue. They wanted to feel self-actualized. They wanted that personal growth rather than monetary growth. I honor that. Now, you know me, I do think there can be both, right. But if in this period of your life, you're giving your full attention to one, great.
Okay, your growth may be in setting a maintaining type of goal, right? I'm gonna maintain exactly what I've been doing, because my growth is to believe this is just how I do now. This is my new normal. And my growth is to work through my judgment about that, about me not striving. How will my nervous system react to me not doing more and more and more? Can I allow myself to really stretch in something outside of business maybe, and not stretch so much in business, right now?
That was, for me personally, another period of personal growth; I did that. Now, as you'll see, as I've been explaining this, with maintaining goals, none of this is to help you get out of challenging yourself. Right? I love challenge. I think good stress is great for all of us. There can still be challenge within the maintaining. There can still be growth within the maintaining.
All I'm saying, is that sometimes the real challenge is not in setting a bigger goal, especially if that's what you're used to doing. And the truly uncommon thing, is following the beat of your own drum, rather than striving to reach someone else's benchmarks.
You could even choose to throw out the whole idea of yearly or monthly goals; you can just decide my goal is my one next client. Right? It could happen today. As quickly as it can, surprise me Universe. I'm bringing in my next aligned client. And, it will feel like we've known each other for ages.
Some of us create far bigger results. We really blow our minds when we're not setting specific smart goals. Our nervous systems can relax, and we aren't sabotaging our goals with our brain drama. If this is where you are, do what works for you. Allow yourself to show up amazingly well, and see your results compound, not diminish, because of smaller goals.
And there all sorts of combinations of the above. Maybe, I want to maintain revenue while not feeling stressed. Or, I want to grow revenue while working fewer hours per week. You get to play with all of this. You purposely leaning into your true growth, knowing it will be a challenge, is such a gift to your future.
There are so many people that just stay with what's working, even if they know it's not good for them. And then over time, their problems just compound. Or something new happens, they have a much bigger business and they aren't prepared, so they go through a really rocky time. I encourage you to play with all of these different types of goals, and really see what works for you.
Because this is you testing how you manifest. Yes, there are some universal principles. Obviously, if you're in a really negative place, and you're having to show up in front of people, that's probably not going to work for you. But really, only you can figure out the specifics for you. I love helping people figure that out.
It is so fun when you see somebody really starting to feel out their groove and get their groove. Like, you heard Ale last week, right? Just a really lovely level of self-knowledge. Okay, so we talked about uncommon goals not being tied to the past. We talked about them having a strong intentional ‘why’. We gave examples of how that ‘why’ will fuel different types of goals.
And now, you want to decide the relationship you'll have with that, ahead of time. Right? This isn't my taskmaster. Maybe, this is my lighthouse, for instance. When I think of my goal, I imagine her shining through in foggy moments, being like, “This is the way. You can reach me.” And then, you decide, holistically, how you're going to accomplish the goal.
I said before, we zero in on five things in the Clarity Accelerator. But for instance, you know your brain pretty well. You know what it might start saying to you partway through, when it's feeling doubtful. Or, in what ways it might try to distract you from actually creating that success, and inviting in all that dangerous change.
So, what are you going to do when those things happen? What's your plan? That is a plan on how you're going to accomplish the goal. It's a plan to avoid self-sabotage. That's just as important as, I'm going to do 10 webinars; far more important, I'd argue. And you also decide, in advance, how you're going to treat yourself with different outcomes.
Your brain, likely, will forget, when the time comes, what you decided, by the way. Oh, I just forgot to celebrate and reward myself. Oops, I just forgot not to beat myself up. No, you go back to what you wrote down at the very beginning. You, as the CEO of your brain, as the adult in the room, you need to intentionally set up a positive feedback loop that tells your brain, “See, brain? Going after big goals, or slowing down to focus on true growth goals, this feels good. We like this, let's do even more of it.”
So, to recap: The way we commonly set goals, is far from the only way to set goals. Uncommon goal setting is more powerful and far less painful. To get there, you've got to put the past aside. You've got to get clear on your ‘why’; use that to determine your goal. Establish a healthy relationship with your goal. Then, plan in advance for how you'll accomplish it. And, how you want to treat yourself afterwards, given all different possible outcomes.
That will help you detach from the result itself, fall in love with exactly where you are, and then you'll probably be surprised with what you call in from that place. But even then, you still want to evaluate them. You want to get clear on how that happened, so that you can replicate it.
Circling back to what you want to accomplish in the next couple of months. Or, if you're listening to this after November, whatever you want to accomplish next. If you made your current goal from a clean, aligned place, then stick with it. We don't want to reactively change goals, ever. We want to hold beliefs throughout. We want to keep learning until the end. And then, evaluate afterwards, so we can 10x our results next time.
Now, if you didn't make a goal, or if you don't like how you’ve made your goal, if this discussion’s opened you up to a different way, then change it. You're your own boss; don't wait another day not walking your uncommon way in your business and life.
Okay, my friends, that's it for today. And remember, deep down, you know who you are. And each day you're stepping further into what you're here to create.
Hey, if you're a coach who wants true clarity about your secret sauce, your people, your best way of doing business, and how you talk about your offer, then I invite you to join us in the Clarity Accelerator. I'll teach you to connect all the dots. The dots that have always been there for you, so that you can show up like you were born for exactly this.
Come join us, and supercharge every other tool or tactic you'll ever learn, from Facebook® ads to manifestation. Just go to TheUncommonWay.com/schedule and set up a time to talk. I can't wait to be your coach.
Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity First Strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit TheUncommonWay.com See you next time.
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Ep #17: The Power of Decisions with Ale Garnica
Right now, there is some decision in your life that you are not making. I get it, I’ve been there. But what you’re not realizing is how much you are sacrificing because of it. The act of powerfully making a decision changes things immediately, and this week, I’m welcoming my client Ale Garnica to the show to share her own experiences with making decisions, and show you the power of making them in your life and business.
Episode Summary
Jenna and Ale discuss why making decisions can often feel so uncomfortable, and the power that making a decision can have upon your life and business.
Get clear on what you offer to whom and how to talk about it … plus actually believe it. Join us in our Clarity Accelerator 60-day bootcamp by scheduling a call here.
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If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.
Show Notes
Right now, there is some decision in your life that you are not making. I get it, I’ve been there. But what you’re not realizing is how much you are sacrificing because of it. The act of powerfully making a decision changes things immediately, and this week, I’m welcoming my client Ale Garnica to the show to share her own experiences with making decisions, and to show you the power of making them in your life and business.
Ale works with women who are in the same place she was 10 years ago, who appear to have a perfect life yet still feel unsatisfied. She helps them create peace of mind and tap into what they are passionate about, and she joins me this week to share how she learned to make decisions, and how doing so changed the way she shows up in her business.
Join us this week and hear why you might find some discomfort after making a decision, but why this is key to understanding your purpose even further. Hear more about the work Ale has done on herself, some of the beliefs she had that were preventing her from making the decisions she needed to in her business, and some powerful questions to ask yourself to help you make a decision you’ve been putting off.
What You’ll Learn From This Episode:
The relief Ale felt when she finally made a decision that was aligned with what she wanted in her business.
How making a decision can free you from the mental time and energy you are spending dwelling on something.
How to stop making decisions from a place of fear.
Why you don’t have to make a decision and stick to it forever.
How you will always be presented with opportunities until you have learned what you need to learn.
Where so many people get tripped up around decisions and block their abundance.
How to step into aligned decision for yourself and how good it can feel when you get there.
Listen to the Full Episode:
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Full Episode Transcript:
Right now, there's some decision in your life that you're not making. But what you're not fully realizing is how much you're sacrificing because of it. Just the act of powerfully making the decision changes things immediately. My client, Ale, is going to share her story with you, so you can see how this can work for you, too.
You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life, by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top ranked business coach and reformed overanalyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.
Jenna Harrison: Hey, welcome back to The Uncommon Way. The other day, my client, Ale, and I were on a call. We got into such a great discussion that I knew immediately I needed to bring her on. So, we've been working together for over a year. And this is what happens, especially when your clients are so smart, and intuitive, and such great coaches themselves, you get into this truly co-creative space.
I was downloading, and then she was summarizing it in a way that was so spot on and brought even more clarity; it just flows so well, right? Like, we're honeybees going from flower to flower, except the flowers are ideas. I knew this episode would be richer if I had her here. I also know how important and impactful it is for you, the listener, to hear this from a client rather than from me.
I think I mentioned this in the last episode or the one before, but it's one thing when your coach says something is possible or advantageous, and another entirely when a peer says so. That's why, when I started adding in the group component, even for one-to-one clients, we saw such great results.
So, without further ado, hi, Ale. Thanks so much for being here with us today.
Ale Garnica: Thank you, Jenna, for having me. So happy to be here.
Jenna: I was hoping we could give everyone a little bit of background, quickly, about your story. So, what led you to coaching? And what kind of business do you have?
Ale: Okay, so what led me to coaching was really, it was a breakthrough in my life. Which, when I was diagnosed with cancer in that moment, I started to question everything I was going for in my life. And I realized that even when I had everything I thought I wanted, or even more than what I thought I wanted… I was living in London back then. I had a very good job. I wasn't fully satisfied. So, I knew something had to change.
I started to work on myself, on my own self-discovery. And that led me to take courses in Mexico, get certified there. And once I moved to the US, I continued with those studies, but I knew I had to get certified in the US, as well. So, that's when I decided to go for life coaching.
After that, when I decided to create my own business, is when I said okay, I believe in the power of coaching. So, I need to get a coach for myself. And that's when I started working with you.
The business I have is I work with women who are in the same place where I was ten years ago. Where they have, what in appearance, looks like the perfect life, but they still feel unsatisfied. I help them create peace of mind and tap into what they are passionate about. Tap into their purpose to live a fulfilling life.
Jenna: I love that. I have seen that in you. I've seen you transform, and you are such a product of your product. Even over the time we've worked together, I've seen all the work you've done on yourself to continue putting into practice what you preach.
Ale: Yeah, it's been a lot of fun.
Jenna: If I can just take everyone right back to a moment in time, I think it's a great place to start our story. And that's when I received a Voxer message from you about the Mexico client. So, can I just start there?
Ale: Yes, please.
Jenna: So, you sent me a Voxer message and you said that today you're going to have a consult call or a sales call with someone from Mexico. And you're a little concerned, because you noticed yourself dealing with a scarcity mindset lately. And you've noticed yourself becoming more attached to the numbers in your bank, now that you don't have income coming in from the career, the job, that you've had for so many years.
You're starting to worry about running out of money. You were sure that was going to show up on this call, right? She would be able to feel that neediness. And so, you're realizing, though, that you still have all these thoughts about people in Mexico not being able to pay you. That they make less than we do here in the US. And so, they wouldn't be able to afford the prices you usually charge.
So, I always ask my clients to tell me what they've been doing already, and to think about what they need next, for their next steps. And you, of course, are an ideal client. Whenever you ask for anything, you go full in on it. So, you told me that you'd been journaling about how paying a higher price was going to be so beneficial for her. Like, how would that really help her?
But you were still believing, even though it would be helpful for her, it was going to be really hard for her to do it, for her make it happen. And so, you were asking for some guidance on moving through that scarcity mindset, when it comes to people that are in Mexico or a country where they make less. You said you really wanted to get over that feeling whenever someone reaches out to you from one of those countries.
Ale: Yes, yeah.
Jenna: Do you remember what I suggested?
Ale: Yes, I remember very well. Because, I mean, you helped me realize that it wasn't, of course, the first time I brought this to you. And the first thing you said was, okay, this is happening because we have not made a decision. I was like, oh, no. Really, what previously I have shared this with you, and we talked about making a decision on how much I was going to charge to people that are not in the US, and probably in developing countries.
I resisted to make the decision. I didn't do it. And then, I brought it up again. And when you said that, I was like, yes, of course, I have not made the decision. So really, the way you put it was, make a decision on what is that you want. What is how much you want to charge them.
And you gave me several options there, that helped me tremendously. Not only to decide, but also to feel comfortable with the decision. Knowing that it was the best for me and for my future clients, and the person I was going to be having a consultation call with.
Jenna: That is absolutely what we do. So, I see it with all of my clients, right? They'll bring me one thing they think is the issue. But really, there's something else going on. And I know your clients, right, do that, as well. I certainly do it with my coaches. And so, you were really wanting coaching on the scarcity. Right?
But actually, there was this other thing, which was the decision that hadn't been made. And what I think I was trying to help you see, when I answered you, was that whatever, regardless of the decision you made, you're going to feel discomfort in some way about it; if you decided to charge them the same amount as your other clients; if you were going to charge them less. You'd have all sorts of thoughts.
Can you think through, like, do you remember what some of those thoughts were?
Ale: The first time I brought this up to you was with a previous prospect. I gave them a lower price and I felt really bad about it. I was feeling guilty and it was very uncomfortable. So, when you said that, when you said, okay, either you charge less or you charge more, you're gonna feel uncomfortable anyways.
So, when I remembered that I was like, oh yes of course, I remember that I felt very bad when I charged less. And I kind of created some resentment, as well, towards that client because I was not charging what I said I was going to charge. So, that realization helped me to say, okay, now is the moment for me to make the decision. And just get rid of that mind drama that I've been having for years. Because this has been happening for quite a bit of time.
So, either, charging more was going to be uncomfortable, charging less was going to be uncomfortable, so I better just set the price. And then, deciding would also help me get rid of the mind drama, but also be okay with the price, and feel okay with that price.
Jenna: Yeah, yeah. Because, right even in that Voxer message, you'd already said, “I'm worried about the numbers going down in my bank account.” So, we know that if you charge her less, that's going to come up, right? And interestingly enough, the other time, when you'd had the previous client, and you did charge her less, I remember you came to a group call. It was really with this energy of guilt. You were kind of like, Jenna, I have to tell you something. As if I’d get really upset about it.
This is how our brain works, as well. Because I remember, for sure, at the time, I said, “That's you absolutely your decision. There's no wrong or right about whether you charge them more or less.” But at that point, we had been working on helping you really step into your value and raise your prices.
And so, at that point, I don't think that really landed for you. It wasn't until I said it this time, like, there really is no right or wrong. Right? That you were really able to sink into that. So, last time, you charged someone less. But you were already, now, potentially going to replicate that. And you'd already said that your bank account was dwindling.
So, you’d know that afterwards, you'd have thoughts about, I could have been bringing in more. But if you did charge more, you'd probably have thoughts about, oh, is it too much for them? What kind of results do I have to guarantee them now, that they're giving away their card to work with me, or whatever it might be, right?
Ale: Or, maybe, if they would’ve have signed if I would have charged less? That's another thought that I would have. Like, I mean, that's the reason why they didn’t sign, is because I charged this much.
Jenna: Right. “I should have offered less, because then they would have said yes.” Rather than believing that your price is the price that your clients want to pay.
Ale: Hmm, yeah, exactly. Yeah. So, either way it is going to be uncomfortable. So, I better make the decision.
Jenna: Yes. And so, what we then moved into, and why I thought this was so important for us to bring to a podcast, was that this unleashed so much just when you made the decision. Why don’t you talk about what happened from that point on, just when you finally decided?
Ale: Well, I think that really, several things happened. I was just thinking that even before making the decision. What happened, was that when we were talking, I was having the consultation call that day, when I brought it up to you. And while we were exchanging messages, I got a message from the person that was going to have the consultation call with me. Telling me, hey, I can't make it, can we postpone the call? And I was like, oh my.
So, I told you, this is the sign from the Universe; that he has my back because he's giving me enough time for me to make the decision. That was one big thing that happened. Because I think the Universe already saw me that I was working on making the decision, doing some thought download and some work.
But also, what happened is that I felt much better. I felt lighter once I wrote it down, and I said, okay, this is going to be the price I'm going to charge them. I actually asked my intuition what was the price I wanted to charge. Something I've been practicing lately, and I listened. It was less than what I was planning to charge, actually, and that surprised me. But I went with it anyways. And then, once I wrote it down, then I said, okay, it's not changing.
You also offered me two other questions, that helped me a lot with feeling comfortable with making the decision. Because the way I was making it mean, was that the decision was going to be forever, almost. So, what you offered me helped me think, okay, this is just from now until I reevaluate if I'm going to be charging this same price.
I decided to charge that price for just a certain number of people, that were coming from those countries. I showed up in a completely different way with this person in the consultation call. I was very present. I think the way, or the value, I brought to that call would have not been there if I would have not made the decision.
Jenna: Because what would you have been doing instead?
Ale: Well, I know it had happened before. I was really paying a lot of attention into like, the price point. Like, I was thinking during the call, before the call and during the call, I was thinking, how much am I going to charge them? I was kind of looking for evidence that proved that they could pay the price I wanted to charge, or that they could not pay the price I wanted to charge.
That was keeping me absent from the call, and not really being there for them, which at the end, is the purpose of the consultation. So, it was really not a pleasant experience. What was also happening, is that I was, whenever someone reached out from Mexico for a consultation call, I didn't like it.
I was like, no, no, no, no, no. Because I didn't want to go through the uncomfortable feeling of charging them more than what I wanted to, or what I thought they could pay. So, even that was completely different after I made the decision.
Jenna: Yeah, yeah. You were blocking yourself from bringing in a whole country's worth of clients.
Ale: Yes, yes. And people that I love working with, at the end, is my people; Spanish speaking. I mean, it's a complete different approach, whenever I am coaching in my own language.
Jenna: Yeah, I can imagine. And so, I know it's probably, you mentioned those questions, and I did go back and write those down, just so I could share them. But just in case, any of you are thinking through these types of things, as well. Maybe you have a subset of your people, that you believe aren't able to pay your fee; you have so many options, right?
Like Ale and I know now, it's not just a black-and-white, and it's not forever. But you can decide that everyone will want to pay your price; all of your right clients, that are meant for you, will want to pay your price. And so, even within that subset, there are actually people that can't afford you.
So, like Ale and I, we talked about this, there are so many affluent Mexicans. So many affluent Mexicans, right? So many affluent Colombians. So many people that still need coaching, that would be happy to pay, and then even expect to pay, right?
That could be the decision, that she decides, to step into that energy of, they're absolutely out there. And believing that they're out there, finding evidence that they're out there. Everything I've talked about on the podcast, before. And she can also decide, you know what, this is basically my scholarship fund, right?
Like, I have three spots that are open, or however many spots that are my scholarship spots, specifically for people that aren't able to pay that price. And this is the price that is available for scholarship people, right? And then they're happy. They can wait, if those spots are filled, they can wait until one opens up.
Or, you could even do some, and I think this is where it came in that it doesn't have to be forever. You can decide, right now, with; because I've decided to leave my corporate job, and I really do need to replace my income, I'm not accepting scholarship clients at this time. And when I get to X-level of right income, or this many clients, or whatever parameters you decide to set, that is when I'm going to start accepting scholarship clients. So, you had so many options, and there was no right or wrong about how you decided to have your pricing.
Ale: That was super helpful for me to definitely get out of my box, because I tend to see things in black-or-white. And, that's about me.
Jenna: As we all do.
Ale: And then, yes, like create the comfort to make the decision. Also, like, even making the decision helped me own the role of the CEO and say; okay, this is my business. I get to decide what to do with my business. Whatever aligns with my values is the decision I'm gonna make.
I knew I wanted to work with these people. I also knew that I didn't want to give it for free, because I know that there's a lot of value for them whenever they pay for these types of service. But I also knew that, probably I wasn't at that point mentally, for me to charge exactly the same as I charge people in the US.
Jenna: I was gonna ask you like, why did you decide to charge less?
Ale: I think it was what I said earlier, like thinking that I wanted people from Mexico or any other country where the income is less, I wanted those people to be my clients. I didn't want to be selective or restrictive. I want to work with just anybody who feels is the right fit with me, or whoever I feel is the right fit for me.
Also, like, I knew that it was gonna be a stretch for my brain to charge them the same as the people I’d charge in the US. I wasn’t there 100%. So, I said, okay, I'm gonna meet myself wherever I am, in terms of money mindset. I'm just gonna do three spots at this price range. And I'm gonna reevaluate by the end of the year. I mean, that felt much better. As soon as I decided I was like, ooph, it was a huge relief.
Jenna: Yeah, yeah. So, the last time you charged someone less, you felt guilty. Right? What do you think happened, that this time you felt relief?
Ale: I think it was that I was kind of freed from the mind drama that I had around it. Because just thinking about that was draining my energy. And I'm very, very careful with my energy.
Jenna: So, for those of you that know human design, Ale is a Projector. And one of the things we've been working on, is really her being able to target her energy to what's most aligned for her. To really be a good guard of her energy level.
Ale: Yes. It's something I'm very conscious about. I'm really, really working a lot on making sure that I invest my energy in what brings me the most joy. So, I knew that not making the decision was draining my energy; it didn't feel good. I also needed to create some space for me to use my mind, to be more creative for my own business and for my clients, as well. I kind of forgot what you asked, but I hope this answers the question.
Jenna: Well, as I was listening to you, and I'm just trying to think through, like, what happened, right. Really so that people can replicate this for themselves, in terms of really… Because you have made such a shift and come to this true resolution. One, is really developing the body of thoughts around it. Around the “why”, which you have.
As anyone, that's listening to you answer, can hear all of your rationale for why this instead of another choice. But also, as I'm listening to you, I'm thinking you've said a couple times that it aligns to your values, and so much of what you do. You've also said, meeting yourself where you are. What you do in your own practice is so much of that self-acceptance.
What I'm thinking about, your people, they're just so hard on themselves, right? And, they're so driven. And they really don't have that sense of inner peace. And so, look at you now making this decision, and being like, oh, but I'm just going to meet myself where I am. I absolutely accept that this, right now, is where my brain is. And, this is the price that I want to charge.
Ale: Yes, I know that several months ago, I would have pushed myself to charge more. Like no, this is where your business is gonna be in a year, then this is what you're meant to charge. And, that's it. Being really tough with myself.
Jenna: “And if I don’t, if I slip up, I'm gonna feel really guilty when I tell my coach.”
Ale: Yes. I'm gonna go, “I have something to confess.” Yes. Yeah, no, but in this time, I really was very compassionate towards myself. I knew I wasn't there, yet. And I think also, knowing that I know I can get there, like this trust in myself, that I've nurtured so much, I know I'm gonna get there.
I know I'm gonna get to the point where I can charge everybody equally. But I wasn't there, just yet. So, just the combination of trust and compassion towards myself is really what helped me be totally okay with charging less, and actually get excited about working with them, even when I am charging less.
Jenna: Yes, yes. Which changes your entire coaching relationship. And I'm sure, it does have some influence on their results, as well, what they get from you. It's just so much proof of how you are a product of your product, and why you're such an amazing coach, and why your Instagram® has blown up.
You have so many people coming to watch your reels, and just loving seeing your light. It's because you truly have developed that self-acceptance and really having your own back. I mean, we keep joking about this time you came to me feeling guilty.
But I really think that would have been very different right now, if you had gone ahead and just, you know, decided to charge less, and come to the call and were reporting on a new client. I think that you would have really spoken about it in a completely different way.
Ale: Mm-hmm. I agree. I totally agree. Yes. Yeah. I think that because of that love, and patience, and understanding, I have towards myself, I would have seen it completely different.
Jenna: Yeah. Yeah. I wanted to pick up something you said earlier. You were talking about how the Universe was really looking out for you, when that client postponed the call, and it gave you that time to think through these things.
But I also think, that even bringing this client was the Universe. Again, giving you that nudge to make this decision and really step in to owning what you were going to do. And to not feel guilty, and to own it, right, unabashedly; this is absolutely what I do and why. That was also a gift. And, that was also looking out for you.
Ale: Yes, I needed to make that decision in order for me to clear that space. And also, to follow what my values are for my business. Like, working with those people, helping anybody, and not make it around the money, but make it around what I value that most. So, definitely, the Universe was telling me; hey, you forgot to make these decisions. So, here is someone that will help you with that.
Jenna: Right, exactly. And whether you think of it as the Universe, or as our own subconscious, that is drawing these things, and leading us into situations again and again, or reflecting that back to us, the truth is that you are given those “opportunities” again and again and again. Until you finally do what needs to be done. So, you can finally, whatever it is; receive more, or charge more, or trust more, or own your power more. There are always those opportunities for us.
Ale: Yes, definitely.
Jenna: Really, the trick, is once you've made the decision; yes, you are going to feel some discomfort again, at some point. Can you stick with it?
Ale: Yeah, yeah. I also think that the questions that you gave me were so powerful, that I didn't even hesitate about that. Like, am I gonna stick with the decision? Because I think the reevaluation piece is what gave me the comfort to stick with it.
Because I was like; it's just from now until the end of the year, and then I will reevaluate. It's okay. Also, thinking that decisions can change. I mean, I tend to think, I think that many people tend to think, that you're once you make a decision that's the path you have to follow. But we can always change our decision. Not to change the route or like, follow our fear. But just to know that there's another way for us to take, if things don't come out the way we expect.
Jenna: Yeah, yeah. And, that is something that's worth expanding on. Because what is that distinction between reevaluation and following your fear? That’s where so many people get tripped up, and I think, where they block their abundance in such a big way.
So, what we're doing when we're reevaluating, is we're committing to our decision for that period of time. And that's completely different than what most people do. Which is, they make a decision, they get any bit of feedback that feels uncomfortable, like a client doesn't sign or something, then they go and they change their decision.
But what that's doing, it’s showing your emotional reactivity. And then, the Universe knows that you really aren't ready yet, because you're obviously not decided. You’ve obviously haven't really embodied that or integrated that. And so, you keep making these decisions based on fear; okay, well, then you need another opportunity to trust.
Ale: Yeah, yeah. I like the way you put it once, when we were talking, that the Universe can get confused if you keep changing the decision, or you act in a way that is not aligned with the decision you took. I truly believe that. I truly believe that it's like; okay, you're telling me this, so I'm gonna give you, based on what you decided. But now, you're changing directions. What's going on?
Jenna: Right. Just know, for anyone listening, that there probably will be discomfort after a decision. And that's just an opportunity, then, to really help you know your “why” even further.
So, we just had a bootcamp call, right before this. I was speaking to one of the boot campers, and she really wanted to speak to three people, in this new niche that she was going after. She did end up speaking to five people, but only one was really an ideal client. Right? And so, there was a part of her, the reactivity, the emotional reactivity, has her thinking; should I change niches? Maybe, it's really hard to find these people.
That is really just a reflection, and giving her the opportunity to be like, no. Why, again, do I believe that so many people need this? Why, again, do I believe that there are so many people out there? Why, again, do I know this connects my dots, and this is why I have to do it?
That's all that's happening, right now. Because it's so funny, everyone else on the call, we could say, everyone and their dog needs this service. Right? Everybody needs this. But when you're in it, and you're in that fear, you're like; I don't know. It’s just another opportunity to be like; no, I do know, dammit. I do know. And once you get into that energy, watch out world.
Ale: Mm-hmm. Yes, yeah. And it's incredible, because everything changes. Like, even the way you act changes, but also, things start to align just based on that decision. And, it's shocking, really.
Jenna: So, let’s talk about that. Because you made her the offer, and then what happened?
Ale: Well, first of all, the consultation call went very well; I felt really good. And it was because I came with a very clean mind, like, not thinking about money, so that was awesome. At the end of the call, she even said, “You are my coach,” when I said, “So what do you think?” And she said, “You are my coach.” So, she said yes.
But then, she didn't pay. So, it was probably like four days after the call, she didn't pay. So, I reached out to you. The fear started to creep in, so I was kind of doubting. And then you said, I don't remember exactly how you said it, but like, who is meant to be my client is going to be there.
Jenna: Your clients won’t pass you by.
Ale: Yeah, yeah, exactly. The clients won't pass me by. Yes, exactly. And I have evidence for that. So, that was very reassuring. I felt more at peace when reading that. I was like; it's true. It's very true. So, my energy shifted in that moment.
And then, when I read this, like, probably twenty minutes later, she reached out. She sent me a screenshot with the payment. And I was like; yeay, she paid. I think I let you know that, by the way, she already paid, while we were talking.
Jenna: It was like; of course. Like, I knew that you have this ability to really bring in your people. There have been times where you're like; oh, this person, I don't know. And yet, then when you talk to them, it makes so much sense why you were brought together.
What I want people to realize is that in that moment, when you were in doubt and fear and I sent you that message, that was another decision point for you. You decided to lean in, to trust. You decided to lean into this energy of, I got this. I don't remember when you said it, Ale, but you said, even if she had not paid, you already would have gotten all of the lessons that you needed from her. Either way, it was a gift already.
Ale: Mm-hmm. Yes. I mean, there are so many gifts that that person brought to me. I think every person has brought a lot of gifts to me, but she especially. Like the fact that I took the decision, it was because of her. I mean, if she would have not come, I would have not made the decision.
But also, how I felt after the consultation call was like; oh, my God. This is how much I can be when I show up with certainty. And yeah, I mean, I think also, the fact that she said… Well, that was after she signed, but those two things were really a big gift for me, because of her.
Jenna: It helped you lean in to that cleanness and that CEO-ness. Also, it helped you to really lean into kind of this trust, that your clients won't pass you by, no matter what. And from that place of confidence, then she was very, like it somehow, potentially, reached her within a very short amount of time. From that decision point, on your end, to be like; I no longer worry about this. I know my clients are meant for me. And then, boom, here comes the client.
Ale: Yeah, yeah. And, that's another huge gift. Stepping in my role as a CEO, that makes decisions that align with the values of the business, is another big gift, that I am very grateful for. Yes.
Jenna: I do, before we go on, because believe it or not, there's even more. I do want to talk about those questions, because you've mentioned them a few times. So, these are the questions I gave you. Number one; why is it worth it to you to make this decision?
You know, because we do want to get the brain on board with even making the decision. Because it spends so much time in fear about the decision, and all the things that can go wrong by making the decision; of course, the clients won't sign. Or, I’ll offend somebody. Or, I'm going against my values, I'll feel terrible.
That we don't usually give it enough time in the positive place. So, like, why is it worth it to make the decision? What can happen? Why will it be so great? Now, in the benefit of hindsight, everyone here is getting to hear why it was so great. You weren't thinking that at the time. That wasn't your experience. So yeah, why is it worth it to you have to make that decision?
And then, yeah, when will you reevaluate the decision? And, why do you want to choose that option?
Ale: Mm hmm. Yeah. And, both of them are super important. Yeah.
Jenna: So, can you think of another time that there has been a decision point?
Ale: Yes. The first one that comes to my mind, is when I decided to work with you. That was a big decision for me, because of many reasons. But I have never had business coach. I've never made that type of investment. For me, it was huge.
That definitely changed everything, in the way I saw myself and my business. Like, I said to myself, unconsciously; okay, I am taking this seriously. This is no game now. And the actions after that, showed it. I was very serious. I was taking every assignment and every call seriously, because I mean, this is my business.
Also, the self-concept changed completely. I mean, I remember that after we finished the call, I went out to have some drinks with some friends, and everything looked very different; it looked brighter, it was warmer, sunnier, than before. Just because of that decision, and I felt so good. I was like; oh, my God, I don't know why I didn't do this earlier. So yes, that was a big one.
Jenna: When we step into aligned decisions for ourselves, how good it feels when we’re there. Right? We will never stay in unalignment, if that's a word, if we knew what it felt like when we’re in that other place. It is scary on the other side.
Ale: Yes, definitely. But also, another thing that changed a lot, is the way, I mean, I wasn't investing on myself before. I mean, I was but not in the way I am now. Because after making the decision of working with you, I started to invest in myself. I remember that I, probably two months later, I decided to hire a personal trainer, which is something I had been thinking about before, but I didn't.
I felt like I didn't deserve, unconsciously really, the investment for that. That I could do it on my own, you know. And then, I also started to pay for my facials and other things, that were huge for me; very, very significant. So, now how I see myself, in terms of investment, is completely different after that decision I made.
Jenna: I love it. I think it's so big because yeah, when you said, the first time, I'd never invested in that way before, but you'd invested in different coach trainings. Right? Or, I'm sure you've bought cars, and made house payments and things. Like, we do make big payments in our lives, but somehow it feels different when it's for us, like it’s for our betterment.
So, really, what it's about, is ‘I am worth it’. That was a decision point, when we were going to work together. You had to make the decision. Not only ‘I'm worth it’, but ‘I believe in myself’; this will pay off. Same with a personal trainer; you did this because this will pay off. I am going to go. I am going to get the results.
Ale: Yes, yeah, definitely. It’s actually the message, now that you say it, that ‘I am worth it’ is a message I am giving to myself constantly. And many times, I forget. But I know, yes, I am worth it. And, I love living by that. Then the other decision, the other big decision, is when I decided to leave my job.
I had been working in corporate for twenty-one years. I was thinking about quitting for months, but I finally decided last year. It was around this time, when I said, okay, I think I'm ready. So, that's when I decided to quit, and I for some reason, I decided to just hand in my resignation in January.
And when I did, I think it was right after we came back from holidays, when I handed in my resignation. The day after I told my boss, I signed a client. Which for me was like, okay, the Universe is telling me this is the path for you. It’s reassuring that this is the path for me. What we said earlier that, I mean, once you make the decision the Universe will provide. And, it was proof for that.
Jenna: Also, you, if we think about your power in the situation, you had been doing so much thought work and preparation beforehand. You'd been thinking about what this means for you; to leave this job, and why it's so important for you to make the decision, and how you do believe it's going to bring you, you are going to bring on clients, and how you are a coach.
And you'd been doing all of this work, so when you finally got to that place, right, of leaving, it was like you were finally unpinching the flow, you were finally allowing the abundance. And from that great energy of, I know clients are coming, a client came.
Ale: Yeah, and I knew I had to be in that place, because I liked my job, it’s not that I hated my job, that I was running away from it. I really liked it. I had a good pay, as well. But I knew that coaching was my passion. So, I just gave myself the time.
I was patient with myself, even when, sometimes I was a little bit frustrated. But I was patient with myself, in terms of taking the time I needed to be at the place emotionally and mentally where I was going to be okay with closing that chapter.
And when I did, I felt so good and I have not looked back. I don't have any regrets about leaving my job. And, I'm very grateful for it. I really, I think that's really how we all should close every chapter. Like, really being grateful for what it gave us and what we gave to it. But you definitely need to be in that space, which comes from making a decision in peace, I think.
Jenna: Oh good, good one; making a decision in peace. It’s true; arriving at that place of peace, that's when you know. We don't always get there with every decision. Right? Sometimes there's a little bit of a lag time to help us get there. And maybe a couple little more nudges, to help us really sink into it. But that's when you know it's landed, is when you're at that decision and in peace. Which is how you are now, about your Mexico clients; you’ve found your peace.
Ale: Yes, yes. Yes.
Jenna: I’m thinking, when you left your job, it wasn't just the clients. Do you remember, you got like that flood of recognition?
Ale: Yeah, I remember. Yes. It was beautiful. Because even when I had been working there for twenty-one years, and I have known people for that long, I have not received that much recognition from them. So, of course, I love being recognized. But I remember that I…
Jenna: You’re a projector.
Ale: Yes.
Jenna: Very important. Also, it was so hard for you to do for yourself. And that’s one of the things we've been working on. Whatever it is you're longing for or seeking, how are you giving it to yourself? You weren’t, remember? You were so hard on yourself. You did all of that work, Ale. You were working, you were giving yourself so much recognition, even though that felt so uncomfortable, and so wrong and different. Then, you got the feathers.
Ale: Yeah, yeah. So, it also says, like, the more you give to yourself, the more you're going to receive also, externally. But definitely, it's something that I know I look for constantly. And if I really want to get it, I know I have to create it for myself. So, even what they shared, I wrote it down because it's like a file that I go to, whenever I need to give this recognition to myself. It’s kind of my shortcut to create recognition towards myself. Like, I'm not looking for it externally, because now it's part of me. So, I use it to create that recognition for myself. Yes, I love it.
Jenna: I love it. Yes, whatever works. And it's something I encourage everyone to have, is just a swipe file like that, of testimonials, of kind things people have said, for when our brain leans towards its negativity bias.
Ale: Yes, yeah, definitely.
Jenna: Ale, I know that everyone is going to want a piece of this light, but unfortunately, they can't see you. But I know it transmits through the airwaves. And so, they'll also probably just want to see what you're doing on Instagram, right. All of this momentum there, and how you're creating your reels that people love so much. So, where can they find you?
Ale: Where I hang out the most, is on Instagram. I am @iam.alegarnica, that's how they can find me. And my website, which is, AleGarnica.com
Jenna: Great. We'll link to both of those in the notes. Definitely check her out. Is there anything else that you can think of, that you would like to say before we hop off?
Ale: No, I think we've said it all. I mean, just really, I mean decisions are very important. Decisions are… Sometimes it's very, very uncomfortable for us to make a decision. But just think about how much mental space, how much time you're gonna free, when you get to decide.
Just think, that if it doesn't work out, you can always change it. But give yourself the time to test it out. Make sure that it's really not working, so you don't have regrets later. And yeah, I mean, at the end, trust. Whenever you decide, life is going to provide for you to get the support you need, in that decision.
Jenna: Right. And then, I’d just add to that, the other thing that really opens for you is so much abundance. It's like the Universe is waiting for you to ground in to your decisions, your power, how you want things to be. And it's like; finally, she gets it. Here you go.
Ale: Yes. So beautiful.
Jenna: Thank you for coming on.
Ale: Thank you for having me, Jenna. It was so much fun.
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Ep #16: Business Minimalism and Why We Overwork
Something I see so often in entrepreneur circles is chronic overworking. If we have more time in the day, we believe it means we should do more things to fill it. We increase the quantity of our workload rather than the quality and we end up doing far more than we should be doing because we believe there is a correlation between doing more and gaining positive business outcomes. But doing more things doesn’t actually create results, so what does?
Episode Summary
Jenna explains the reason so many entrepreneurs are chronically overworking, and how business minimalism can stop this cycle.
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Show Notes
Something I see so often in entrepreneur circles is chronic overworking. If we have more time in the day, we believe it means we should do more things to fill it. We increase the quantity of our workload rather than the quality and we end up doing far more than we should be doing because we believe there is a correlation between doing more and gaining positive business outcomes. But doing more things doesn’t actually create results, so what does?
At its core, overwork is a product of believing you can control your business results through action. But in order to really create results, you have to divorce yourself mentally from the reliance on doing, and invite in space to play with the idea that results don’t come from doing more, but carrying out what you’re already doing better. You need to explore business minimalism: the art of doing more with less.
In this episode, I’m diving deeper into overworking and business minimalism, and showing you how to focus your efforts on improving the quality of your actions and mindset. Discover why minimalizing your business can help you take it to the next level, and how to do things that stretch you and help you grow while focusing on quality over quantity.
What You’ll Learn From This Episode:
Where the need to do comes from.
The kind of work you need to be focusing on frequently for maximum long-term results.
Why a large amount of Instagram followers doesn’t equal success.
A huge clarity gap for entrepreneurs at all income levels.
Why all the marketing in the world won’t make up for a lack of messaging.
How becoming a business minimalist requires vulnerability and a leap of faith.
What really creates burnout.
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Full Episode Transcript:
Today, we'll be talking about overwork versus what I call business minimalism. It's the art of doing more with less. And it's a huge part of why you got into business in the first place. If you can allow yourself to really go there, it is what's going to take your business to the next level.
You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life, by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top ranked business coach and reformed overanalyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.
Hey, everyone, welcome back to The Uncommon Way. I'm settling back in from Italy. It's still such a mind bender that I can be on the beach one week with my family, carrying a bunch of beach towels. And then the next, be bundling up and going to a fall festival, carrying the pumpkin that my son has very definitively chosen.
It's amazing, of course, that we live in an age when this is possible. I've been thinking, when you can travel between two worlds, and that doesn't have to be two countries. I know some of you have one foot in your corporate world and another in the entrepreneurship world, for instance.
Isn't it just such a fantastic way to compare and contrast, and really challenge your assumptions, and the way you've been doing things and thinking about things? This is a huge part of why I travel, in the first place. I mean, I planned to work less when I was in Italy, as I've done in the past.
But I was really interested in how quickly my brain released the internal pressure of needing to be busy. Those are two separate things, right? The hours you work are one thing, and the pressure you feel to work, to be doing things, is another.
I was studying myself like; huh, what am I thinking, exactly, that's allowing me to do this? As I mentioned last week, I was working what many would consider to be an obscenely low amount of hours per week, and yet my business didn't suffer.
And, it's because of business minimalism. Which is when you're solely focused on the areas of greatest leverage in your business. And, that can only happen when you're willing to not satisfy the urge to work on a bunch of other things, too. And you'll only be willing to restrain yourself, when you trust that you don't have to do any more to create bigger results. You just have to do what you're doing better to create bigger results.
But before we go there, I want to give a shout out to some people I know are listening. One is a podcast listener, who told me that she goes back and listens to earlier episodes, two or even three times in order to get more out of them. And, I can completely relate to this and appreciate it.
Because I remember once, I was going to see a coach of mine, and I kind of wanted to brush up and I looked over my past notes. And there was something from a year ago, that was almost exactly what she was just telling me on a call. And so, it's like our brains can't fully receive it until we're ready to receive it.
And so, this is a practice that I've started doing with my own coaching; is really going back to refresh my brain and hear things, listen to calls, hear things, or see things, see my notes, several times, in order to absorb more than I would have the first time. So, I just really want to honor her for doing that, and really committing to getting the most out of this podcast that she can.
There's another woman I wanted to give a shout out to, who wrote me that beautiful note about my blog. I have a feeling it was the post on abstract thinkers. And she was really saying how she's just never felt seen before, never felt really understood. And has had such difficulty explaining to her friends and family, why she is the way she is, why she sees things the way she does. And she just felt so validated reading these posts about what an abstract thinker is.
I want to thank you for taking the time to write. In my response, I suggested you listen to this podcast. And so, I just wanted a chance to kind of say that, in person, that I really love hearing from you. And, it means the world to me that you would take the time to write.
And lastly, this podcast has started ranking in Sweden. Yeah, there are a few countries that we're ranking in already. And now, Sweden is a new addition. And so, I know that there's a person or some people in Sweden who are finding this valuable. Downloading the episodes, maybe sharing it with some of their friends. And I just want to say welcome, and I'm so glad to have you here.
Okay, let's get back to it and dive right in. Business minimalism is not the normal way of doing things. That's true for pretty much everyone in the U.S., but many other countries, too. We tend to pile on more and more and more. If I have more time in the day, that means I should do more things. Let's call it maximalism. But at its core, overwork is a product of you believing you can control your business results through doing.
You believe there's a correlation between doing more and positive business outcomes. Which is understandable, especially if you've grown up hearing; you can have anything you want, if you work hard enough. Most of our society still run on a factory mentality; I clock in, I clock out, and I get money for those hours. If I work for more hours, I earn more money.
We start thinking like, how much does that doctor, or lawyer make per hour? We're not always thinking about the overall result they bring, or the years of investing and honing their skill that now allow them to create those results. No, we're like; $500 per hour? That's crazy talk. Plus, we see these well-known business gurus with huge teams, that are churning out social media, webinars, free challenges, live events, etc., etc. And our brains figure, well, the more I approximate that behavior, the closer I'll get to that person’s success.
But nobody is paying you for the hours you work anymore. You know this logically. I know, you've heard it 1,000 times: If a dentist says it will take six months to do your root canal, you're not going to pay her more just because of all the hours she's putting into it. Right? You'll happily pay a premium to the dentist down the street, who can do it in one day.
And yet, we see so much chronic overwork in entrepreneur circles. It's like you're moving the vacuum around frantically, back, and forth, right? But it's not plugged in. Yes, you have the lines on the carpet to show for it. But that doesn't mean it's effective.
I know of someone who posts all the time on social. Responds to comments, engages with others, and has built up 40,000 Instagram followers. I know for a lot of you, you think that must equal success. But she makes no money; none. It's a classic case of, all the marketing in the world won't make up for a lack of messaging.
Now, you're probably thinking; okay, Jenna, if doing things doesn't create results, what actually does? This is a huge clarity gap for entrepreneurs, at all income levels. I see six and multi six-figure entrepreneurs frequently saying things like, “I'm not really sure what creates my results. I think that was just a fluke,” etc., etc.
Friends, this is of foremost importance in your business, you've got to be attuned to the levers in your business that create the most results. This is what I help my clients do. I help them find their own uncommon way. And, it changes everything.
Now, there are often overlaps among different people, right? I've touched on several important factors in past episodes, like, clarity about what you're offering and your people, for instance. That's a very important lever. And, I'll gladly do a future episode, just on the topic of what actually creates results. Because I want to help you plug your vacuum in, I really do. And then, I want to help you set up your Roomba.
The world changes, with the more women that do this. But what I really want you to take away from this episode, is that in order to really hear this discussion about what creates results, you first have to divorce yourself mentally from the reliance on doing. Or, at least invite, in a little bit of space to play with the idea that maybe results don't come from doing.
Don't get me wrong, I want you to do things in your business. I want you to do very challenging things that stretch you and help you grow, into exactly who you're here to be. But quality over quantity. When I say quality, it's both the quality of the actions you're taking, and the quality of your frame of mind. So, let's break those down.
Quality of actions means that you're focused on the things, and only the things, that truly move your business forward. Rather than spreading yourself thin, you're giving more to the few selected things. In the beginning of your business, you're solely concentrating on the steps required to prove your business is viable. And, that your language and assets will resonate with your people in the quickest and most effective way.
You won't be filling your time with all the low yield activities that most new entrepreneurs fill their time with. Like, creating a website when you're not even exactly sure who your people are, or what they think the problem and solution is, and what moves them towards a sale. Or, spending time scrolling social media, because that's what the algorithm likes. Or, listening to tons of webinars.
You know what you're focused on. Why you've chosen that. It makes sense. You're decided, and now you're executing it. So, you're not watching ten different webinars every day. Now, how you go about this can be different for everyone. Again, that's your uncommon way; your secret sauce.
If you don't have a feel for this yet, get support to get clear on it, stat. I've had clients that were big networkers, and their method was creating group offers, and doing things like running Facebook groups. I've had others who were really great in person, and tested language at networking events. I've had others that would invite people to free mini-offers, so that they can really have that one-to-one experience for a lengthy amount of time.
So many ways; there's no one right way to grow your business. The right way is the one that plays to your strengths. And later on in your business, you're still focusing on the few selected levers that create the most results. But your work now, lies in creating higher degrees of value and impact for your people. You must trust that your current portals or methods are enough. By portals, I mean, the places through which people can find you.
And, that's hard work. Trust is hard work. Becoming a business minimalist is scary work. It requires vulnerability. It requires a leap of faith. Believe me, I know. I've been doing a lot of this work myself for the last few years, so that I can now help my clients through it more easily. And, I know how hard it is to stop moving all the controls and pushing all the buttons.
Okay, okay, that's a fun image. It's like you're on one of those kids’ rides, where you put in the coin, and then it moves up and down. Dylan became obsessed with this Spiderman ride in Italy; I lost many, many euros to that thing.
But anyway, there's the airplane, and you're pushing all the buttons. But really, it's inserting the coin that makes the thing go up and down. All the other things are distractions that give you the illusion of control. But really, all it's doing is making you feel better to push them; oh, I push this button, and the plane moved up at the same time; dopamine hit, right?
That's not a perfect analogy, because I would never advocate for anyone to just sit there and let the plane move up and down. But relinquish the superfluous stuff, just let it go. I know of many coaches that have seven-figure businesses, purely through referral business and their own networking.
There's my mentor, Brooke Castillo; she has a $40 million business, and until this year, wasn't on social media. She created that through her podcast and Facebook ads. My own multiple six-figure business comes through a few different places where I'm featured.
With all of the above, the people are working less than 40-hour workweeks. And, that is the power of clear focus. It's also a product of really knowing yourself, knowing your people, and learning to speak to how those two connect, of course. It's creating assets that work in the world, on my behalf. So, I don't have to hustle to get clients, they come to me.
Now, I thought I'd just share with you some of my thoughts that I identified, while I was in Italy. So, you can try them on and apply them to wherever you are in business if they're a fit.
One was it will get done. This was my absolute favorite. I could compare that to some thoughts that I have here, sometimes. Where I'm thinking; there's not enough time to get everything done. And in Italy, I was thinking; it'll get done. I love it.
There was another, where I said, “If it's important enough, I'll get to it later.” So, that was showing me I trust my mind not to forget it. And I trust my mind to be able to sit with something, and then have that discernment to decide if it really is important enough, later.
If it's meant for me, it won't pass me by. Again, there's that trust, right? I don't have to worry about jumping on this offer or launching this new initiative, right now, because otherwise I'll lose that opportunity. For instance, I'm thinking of, maybe a person that markets with scarcity. And they say that right now, is this great offer, this discount, or this opportunity. And ,I could hire them, right now.
Again, if it's meant for me, it won't pass me by. I can still take advantage of this when it feels aligned.
And then, this one will be really big for a lot of you; There are plenty of people within my current pool. I can reach my goals within my current pool. So, of the areas, of the portals, I have where people can reach me, there are enough people there for me to reach my goals. Like, I was talking to a client the other day who was going to be doing some market research, and she was concerned about whether she should be talking to her network or going into Facebook groups, or you know, trying all different angles.
We broke down the numbers and she had twenty people that she tended to message, just within a very close networking group, and I know, they all know twenty people, right? And so, maybe you're looking for three people to speak to, to interview. And you've got to remind your brain that it's very possible, and very likely, that it will be the easiest solution of all. You'll just send out a note to your friends, and all you need is three people.
So, there's plenty of people within my current pool to reach my goals. Therefore, I don't need to add anything extra to my business. The only question is if I want to add something extra at an appropriate time. And, I'm not alone in this.
Now, this is something I personally believe, that the Universe wants to bring my clients and I into contact. The universe will help them find their way to me. Like, I had a client who happened to pull out a t-shirt from a conference from five years ago. It said, an uncommon way of living, or an uncommon way of life, or something. And she just had the random thought, “Oh, that would be a great name for a business.”
She googled and found me, right? So, there was no way I could have made that happen through effort. Okay, well, I shouldn't say no way. Maybe I could have created the top viewed Superbowl ad or something, and she would have seen it. But she wasn't even looking for a business coach until she read my site.
So anyway, that is always powerful for me to remember; that I'm not alone in this. And, that what I'm searching for, is searching for me, too. What I want, wants me, too. It really allows you to relinquish a lot of the nervous energy that drives you to do this in the first place. And, we'll talk about that in a minute.
But bottom line, you can work smarter, without working harder, and create even bigger results. Bottom line, you can work smarter, without working harder, and create even bigger results. All right, that was quality of actions.
Let's talk about quality of your mindset. The need to do, do, do, is always driven by some form of discontent. But discontent is the emotion you feel when you're asking for more than you're letting in. I'll say that again. Discontent is the emotion you feel when you're asking for more than you're letting in.
You might want to go back and re-listen to the episode on allowing yourself to receive, in order to fully understand what I'm saying there. But when you're tapped in, when you're really in alignment, things are unfolding steadily. You may not have the exact result you want yet, but it's coming.
There's so much happening, so much unfolding, that you don't have space for discontent. There's too much gratitude, and excitement, and anticipation. But when you're asking for more than you're letting in, there's not enough action in the world to compensate for that misalignment.
Again, think of pinching the flow. I talked about that in the receiving episode. You're saying, “I want a million dollars. Where's my million dollars? A million dollars isn't happening fast enough.” But there's a million dollars right on the other side of that hose. You're the one who's pinching the hose.
It's like the clients are definitely there, but we're effectively blocking that sale. We aren't able to tap into our creativity. We aren't showing up as our most grounded self, or we're missing opportunities. Or, maybe we see the opportunity, but we're like; I just don't have the bandwidth for that.
Patience is what you need when you aren't tapped in. Believe me, I know about this. I'm an MG (Manifesting Generator), for those of you that are familiar with human design. We want everything to move fast, fast, fast. And, I'm intimate with the frustration that comes from impatience. But we can catch ourselves when it's happening, right? We all have this ability.
Let's talk about that ‘aligned’ word, let's break that down. When I say ‘alignment,’ I mean a few things. One, there's integrity between what you're preaching and how you're living. That you're actually using the tools you're talking about and are a product of those tools. Big one.
I also mean that you're aligned with who you are. You're following your true north, your uncommon way, your design. And I mean that you are rested, and well-nourished, and have a balanced nervous system. And then again, you're not pinching the flow.
If you're asking for a six-figure or a seven-figure business, but deep down, you're thinking; I don't really want that many clients, because I won't be able to deliver for them all. And then, they'll hate me, and I'll feel awful. Then, you're not in alignment.
Or, if you're thinking; I don't really want that big of a business, because then I'll have to work too much, and I don't want to burn out. You're not in alignment. Your internal world is not aligned with what you're asking for. And, it's okay. None of us are perfect with this, in every way, at every moment.
But having this knowledge helps expose us to where we're not in alignment. Where we're not aligned with our higher self, our highest potential. And we're grateful to have that exposed, so that we can heal it, so we can work on it and grow.
We're not beating ourselves up. We are where we are, for 1,000 very understandable reasons. It's all good. And thankfully, we're seeing where our areas of growth are. You exposing an area of growth doesn't mean you're doing it wrong. It means you're doing it right. It means things are happening for you. Change is unfolding right in front of your eyes, shift is happening.
When you can start moving away from this whole, why isn't it working? type of energy, you will start to see your world transform. I have a client who has really dived into this work. And now, she has more clients than ever. She's booking more sales calls than she cand believe. Her Instagram has exploded. And she's doing all this inspired work, and gets 1,000s of views and really good engagement.
Much better than really well-known coaches with huge followings, by the way. Her clients come to her when she's staying out of her head. Out of her doubt. When she's riding the wave.
I have another client with a product-based business, who uses Facebook ads. And when she is in an aligned place, her revenue increases. When she's not, it declines. And, these are “set it and forget it” ads she's got going.
In the episode that's called How Entrepreneurship Made Me Woo, I talk about my own journey through this. I don't change my copy and yet, the clients coming to me change. Maybe this is correlated rather than casual, all the things I just mentioned, right? Maybe this is all chance or confirmation bias. I'll let you make your own decisions about that.
But for me, and many of my clients, we believe our alignment and whatever we're working on in our growth at that moment, plays a huge part in our business results. And the work of this alignment, is work. And that's the kind of work you need to be focusing on frequently, for maximum long-term results. Rather than filling your time with all the frantic busyness. A little bit of balance, please. And focused, intentional effort.
This is business minimalism, focusing on what really matters. Your efforts are going into the quality of your actions and the quality of your mindset.
And before we wrap, I just want to say that we don't do any of this because we're afraid of working long hours, or afraid of burning out. You never want to be resisting something, to be moving away from something; you want to be moving towards something.
We don't need to be scared of working long hours, because it's not the long hours that create burnout, it's the mind that creates burnout. When you're in flow, when you're in alignment, it can be hard to stop yourself from working because you're so loving what you're doing.
So, for those of you who are under working, and I meet some of you sometimes too. You're under working and not moving your business forward effectively, because you're so worried about overworking and burning out. Probably because you've done that in the past.
Obviously, if you knew how good it feels to be in alignment, you wouldn't be afraid, you'd be doing more of it. You'd be trusting yourself to balance the alignment side with the productive action side. The reason we purposely choose to work fewer hours isn't to avoid work, it's so that we have full multi-dimensional lives.
And so, that we give our nervous systems a chance to rest, in order to do the big scary things that really move us forward. But challenge us emotionally because we have human brains. Not things that require time necessarily, but things that require cha-chas. For you, that might be telling old colleagues that you're now a coach. Totally activates your nervous system. Or, it might be holding a live event.
And we also choose to work fewer hours in our business, so that we can be working on ourselves. On the alignment pieces that fuel our business in so many ways. Alignment really is the assignment.
Okay, my friends. That’s it for today. Remember, deep down, you know who you are, and what your strengths are. And, each day you're moving forward into what you are here to create.
Hey, if you enjoyed today’s show, you do not want to miss next week’s. Seriously. Follow the show wherever you listen to your podcast, so you don’t miss an episode. And would you please, leave a super quick rating and review about this episode?
It’s how you’ll let me know what you liked and what you’re still curious about, so that I can create the most valuable content for you, going forward. As well as, you’ll help other highly driven, but slightly uncertain, entrepreneurs find this show, and get the tools they need. Thank you, so much.
Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity for Strategy for Growing and Scaling Your Business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.
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Ep #15: Learning to Diagnose Your Client's Problem
When you lack the skill of properly moving a prospective client through to a sale, you start to become resentful towards your audience. You feel like you are giving everything, and they are taking it, and you don’t know what the next step is. But developing the skill of diagnosing your client’s problem can do wonders for your business, and I’m showing you what that entails this week.
Episode Summary
Jenna shares the reason you’re not actually converting clients even though you’re doing all the things you’re supposed to do, and how to start turning interest into sales.
Get clear on what you offer to whom and how to talk about it … plus actually believe it. Join us in our Clarity Accelerator 60-day bootcamp by scheduling a call here.
Enjoy the show? Leave a review to help other likeminded entrepreneurs gain clarity in their businesses.
Show Notes
Why can’t my clients get out of their own way and see how much they need my help? Why can’t they put their fears and scarcity and excuses aside? Why are they signing up for my webinar but not to work with me? These frustrations are examples of one of the biggest clarity gaps that trouble all entrepreneurs at one point or another. You're doing all the things you’re supposed to do, putting out tons of value, but not actually converting clients. So what gives?
When you lack the skill of properly moving a prospective client through to a sale, you start to become resentful towards your audience. You feel like you are giving everything, and they are taking it, and you don’t know what the next step is. But developing the skill of diagnosing your client’s problem can do wonders for your business, and I’m showing you what that entails this week.
Your prospective clients want all the results, and they want them now. But giving them everything all at once isn’t productive for your business nor does it actually help them, and in this episode, I’m explaining why. Discover why you need to learn to diagnose the problem your clients are having, what that actually means, and how developing this skill will help you turn interest into sales and completely transform your business.
What You’ll Learn From This Episode:
Why you need to be willing to not give everything away to your clients.
How to develop the skill of diagnosing your client’s needs and why doing so will help you transform your business.
Why people don’t need accountability from you and what they really need instead.
How you could be holding yourself back from creating the revenue you’re capable of.
Why you can’t impact your people with free content the way you can by coaching them.
The reason it feels so hard for you to not give everything away, even though you know it isn’t serving your clients.
Why you aren’t helping your clients by giving them all the information upfront.
Listen to the Full Episode:
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Full Episode Transcript:
Let's talk about one of the biggest clarity gaps that troubles all entrepreneurs, at one point or another. “I'm doing all these things I'm supposed to do, I’m putting out tons of value, but I'm not actually converting clients in the way I'd like.” More often than not, especially for newer entrepreneurs, when I take a look at their messaging, it's clear to me that they could improve their skill of diagnosing the problem. So, let's start closing that gap for you right now.
You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life, by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top ranked business coach and reformed overanalyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.
Hey, welcome back to the Uncommon Way. I am now back home in Pennsylvania. It's about a 30-degree temperature difference, but beautiful fall weather. When we get home, we always play this game of how long can we maintain our Italy mindset. With, like I talked about last week, that absence of micro stressors.
So, we do things like have wine and cheese nights with, you know, wine that we brought back. And we promised to watch each other and work as a team, right? We're both high performers, and we tend to get wrapped up really quickly in the doing, doing, doing.
But there's one thing I do not want to maintain from the Italy experience, and that is my son's behavior. So, he goes into serious regressions whenever we travel, or basically anytime there's a big change in his life. And even at home, it's not exactly a cakewalk with this human. He has very strong leadership skills, shall we say? Or, he will one day, but at least there's some level of cooperation.
But when we travel, we started referring to him as “the pissed off più piccolo,” which is not grammatically correct, but it basically means, the pissed off very small one; angry about everything. And at one point, we had five adults tag teaming to manage this one little four-year-old, and keep ourselves sane and not absolutely lose it. I'm proud to say we made it through pretty well.
The reason we have some of these management tools is because I hired a parenting coach a couple of years ago, to help me with this. Now, the way we came to work together is such a great lesson, that I want to use it as a basis for this episode. Because if my coach hadn't spoken with me the way she did, I might not have gotten the help.
Or, I would have delayed getting the help, to the detriment of my family and my son's early conditioning. And when you lack the skill of properly moving a prospective client through to a sale, that's when you start becoming resentful of your audience. You start feeling like you're giving, giving, giving and they're just taking.
Or, you look down on them; why can't they get out of their way and see how much they need this help? Why can't they put their fears, and scarcity, and excuses aside? It's when you put out webinars with nobody signing up for a call. It's when you finish a sales call only to hear; oh, I need to think about it. Or, I'm just going to try it on my own for a while. This was great, thank you. Or, even worse, when they say yes, but then don't follow through.
But before I go into what you'll need to do to reverse that, I want to highlight one of our listeners. This is from Blue Azalea. It says, “Great content. Really helpful and insightful. It made me look at my business in a different way. Look forward to your next episode.” I love that.
And, I want to thank all of you for your interest in the Clarity Accelerator. I've been receiving lots of notes about that. And we have been welcoming in new clients, which we're really excited about. If you want to make this happen for yourself, to really start off 2023 with this level of clarity in your business, all you need to do is go to the link in the show notes, where you can schedule a call.
We'll talk about whether this is right for you and your business, right now. And, whether or not the specific tools that we teach will maximize your growth at this level. As I tell everybody that hops on a call with me, I am very clear that I am great at helping a very specific person build a specific type of business. If you're not that, I will definitely direct you to someone that I think can help you.
Because I would never want to invite anybody in that I didn't believe was going to get the results, and I am willing to commit to those results with you, because I know that this process works. So, when you're ready, I would love to talk. I can't wait to help you transform your business. If there's one thing I'd like to accomplish, it's that we radically shift how we think about this thing that we're doing.
I want to bring you all into a place of power and knowingness, which leads perfectly back into what needs to happen to turn interest into sales. And, it's pretty simple. You just need to learn to diagnose the problem your clients are having.
What does that mean to diagnose? Well, it's like when you go into a doctor's office. You present all of your symptoms, and then they take all of their experience and knowledge, and filter through what you're saying, to come up with a diagnosis; they tell you exactly what's happening. They do not dive in right away to giving you the whole protocol beforehand.
Imagine if a doctor did that, and you didn't even know why? You were just being told what to do. How overwhelming and disconcerting that would be. And, what are the chances you'd actually remember all of it? It's the same with coaching, you need to be able to get to the real problem or problems for your clients.
They're going to come to you with this big brain dump of all the things going wrong. But their perspective is inherently skewed by their perception, by their stories. You are the objective expert, and they can't see what you can see. When you can say, it's okay, I see exactly what's going on. It's just X. I see this every day, here's what we're going to do. And then, here's how things will change for you.
Basically, here's the real problem, and here's the solution. When you can diagnose in this way, there is nothing more powerful. I have clients come to me that say, “But I've done this famous sales course. I have the sales script or sales framework; the selling is not the problem.”
I want to see their conversion rates, and I want to see their messaging. Because there is no generic script that can do this for your particular people. It'll end up feeling hollow and scripted for your people. It's just like how you can work with the best copywriter, the best ads expert, but the results will fall short because they can never know your people like you do.
Now, if you've done the work of knowing your people, which, right, is the second part of the three-part success formula, I teach in the Clarity Accelerator. Part one is, know yourself. Part two is, know your people. And part three is, speak to how the two connect. Then, they'll be able to take that and do their magic.
Just like when you can take that knowledge and apply it to your sales framework, your sales framework comes alive and you start converting at rates you can only dream about, 90%, 100%. As long as the people are your ideal clients. Because this sales psychology of your specific people, is something that you need to know. It's something I work on personally with each of my clients.
So, in part three of the system, which is module nine of the Clarity Accelerator, it's called Selling It. And of course, it includes a sales framework that I recommend, the same one I've used to create a 90% conversion rate with my ideal clients. But then, you and I hop on a call and we work together to personalize it to your clients. Based on the work you've already done in the earlier modules.
We design your personal sales strategy, which yes, you'll use in your sales calls, but also in your content, and all your conversations with people. So, that you can feel confident and at ease when you hop on a sales call. Knowing that your ideal people will resonate with this.
Kind of like when I speak with a Clarity person who's telling me about all the different ideas they've come up with, and how they've talked themselves out of each one. And I say, “Oh, you haven't learned to connect the dots of your life. Because your thing has been showing up for you, again and again. It's just you're too close to it, and too in your head to see it.”
My right people, they know right away; they feel that truth in their bones. All that's left is for me to show them how we're going to do it. How we're going to connect their dots. And those that don't feel it, not my people. And, that's okay. There are plenty more where that came from.
I wouldn't have wanted to speak anything other than my truth in order to hook that sale. It's not worth it. We're just queuing up a very difficult coaching relationship. But imagine having this figured out for yourself, and really believing that if they don't resonate, they're not your people, and that's okay. Rather than crying into your soup about how this proves you're not enoughness.
We've all been there. And listen up, this is important: In order to do this, you've got to be willing to not give everything away. You aren't giving the protocol and prescribing the drugs, remember; you are diagnosing. And this is so hard for so many of my clients, sometimes years into their businesses.
Even for my physician clients that do this in their day job. Why? You guessed it, it's about mindset. As women, we feel compelled to give, give, give. Why? Well, in part, because we want to be loved. We want approval. I was talking to a woman the other day, who told me she needed accountability to just get the things done.
She was berating herself for how she does this for so many others, she always shows up for her clients, and she could even remember back in college, like, she always showed up for her sports team. But when it comes to her own business, she's not showing up for herself. But I could see that what was going on was a form of people-pleasing. That that drive not to let people down was strong enough to spur her into action.
And I remembered that she had admitted that one of the things that held her back putting out her own content, was worrying about what other people would think, specifically what other creatives would think. Because she was a creative herself, and she was worried about being judged. I could see that this was all connected, right?
Her same need to please others, like her clients are her sports team, was connected to her need to please these people on social media, or her peers, or contemporaries, and look good in their eyes. People never need accountability, in my experience; they need belief.
There's something there, there's some fear, there's some disbelief, that's keeping them from moving forward. And that's what I was able to diagnose for her on that call. And it makes sense, we've been taught to cater to what everyone wants. And of course, your clients want all the solutions, like yesterday, or your prospective clients, your audience, right?
That's human nature. Do you want the person who says, “I'll teach you mastery in 30 years?” No, we want the magic pill; give me the magic pill. Like my mentor, Brooke, says, “Everyone wants to be a millionaire. Nobody wants to make a million dollars.”
So, you've got this inclination to please. Remember, all your female ancestors survived and procreated because they were excellent people-pleasers, and they’ve passed it all down to you. You've got all that coming up against the very strong wants of your prospective clients. You can feel how much they need this help; how can you not help them in their time of need?
If you don't help, then not only do you have the cognitive dissonance of going against your biology and conditioning, but you're also getting triggered. Thinking that maybe you're becoming what you don't want to be; I don't want to be cold-hearted and calculating. I don't want to be salesy. I don't want to look bad or be judged.
And part of that might be, I don't want to be perceived as an amateur. Maybe, deep down you don't feel like an expert, you feel like an imposter. But you want them to see you as an expert. So, you overcompensate by throwing out all of these things that you know. That old programming ends up driving really counterproductive behavior.
We put out tons of content without calls to action. We hear people saying, that was so helpful, but never moving forward to work together. We solve their problem and give them all the steps on the sales call, or in the Q&A of the webinar, only to hear them say, “Thanks. I'm gonna go try it, and I'll get back to you.”
All of this not only keeps us from the revenue we're capable of creating, and all of the good that that's going to facilitate for ourselves, our families, and our communities. But it also keeps us from the impact; our impact doesn't reach its full potential. Because you cannot impact someone with free content, the way you can by coaching with them, or working on their branding with them, or whatever you do.
You can't. I don't care how powerful your free stuff is. So, what do we do? How do we create change, when it feels so hard not to give everything away? But we know that's really not serving us, or our people, ultimately.
Well, you've got to believe two things. Number one, the diagnosis itself, is a gift. It's insanely valuable and life changing. Therefore, this is already a more than fair exchange. And number two, the transformation happens after the transaction.
So, let's talk about number one; the diagnosis is a gift. This doesn't mean you can't ever give away actual steps. I do it here all the time, right. Don't use this to create black-and-white rules for yourself. Just open yourself to how valuable the diagnosis is. And then, you won't feel so compelled to keep going on and on after that.
Now that might be a stretch for you, right? How could the diagnosis be valuable? You can't really do anything with it. Well, remember at the very beginning I talked about my parenting coach? Now, I want to tell you our story. At the time, we were just coming out of the pandemic. And my baby, Dylan, was a COVID baby, he didn't interact with other children.
I think there were maybe two months of preschool that we started for him before everything shut down. And then, we had to pull him right out. And so, when things started to open up again, we, of course, wanted to take him to the playground, have him, you know, get to know other kids. He would see children walking down the street, and he would say very, very loudly with no filter, “Oh, no, not kids.”
He just had no idea how to interact with children. And, he just has no filter. He just says whatever he thinks, and so he was able to carry on conversations with adults, no problem. But we were really worried about him, like, how is he going to be in school? Is he just going to be this loner and, right? All the catastrophizing, all the possibilities of what could go wrong.
I had tried several different things. But they didn't seem to work, and the thought in my head was you don't know Dylan. So, all these books, all these experts out there, saying how things should be done, and I'm like; yeah, yeah, but you don't know Dylan.
When I talked to this parenting coach, who we just randomly met through another group, when I talked to her about it, first of all, she was able to empathize and say, “Oh, I know. I remember my husband and I just saying, ‘We wish someone had given us a manual for our specific child.’” So, right there, I felt that resonance.
But when I described the situation to her, do you know what she said to me? She said, “Oh, he just hasn't learned the skill of entering play.” Friends, it's hard for me to describe, even now I get shivers thinking about this. I was at a point where I was wondering if there was something seriously wrong with my child. If he was going to be scarred in some way.
And then, I have someone come along that tells me, “It's just this thing he hasn't learned yet, that he's definitely going to learn. And, we can teach him. And, we can expedite that process. And, it's not a problem.” For a scared mom to hear those words… Everything shifted in my life, everything became doable. My son's life, I saw it going down a completely different path. And, I was so relieved and so hopeful. And, I felt so much trust in that moment.
So now, if anyone tells me, “Jenna, I feel bad about diagnosing, rather than solving the problem,” I tell them this story. And I say, “Look, if she tried to give me all the steps, then and there, I'm sure I would have forgotten some of them, right? And I probably would have thought, ‘problem solved. And I should try this on my own first.’”
I would have misapplied some of the things, or not had the support through all of them. I wouldn't have seen those results, and I would have externalized that and thought that the method didn't work for my son. We think we're being more helpful by giving all the steps. But what if that's not true?
My coach did one thing, she transformed this from a character issue, which is difficult to solve for, to a skill set that could be learned: basically, a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. And in that diagnosis, she not only gave me amazing relief in that moment, but she helped me take the step that I needed to take, to committing to working with a coach.
What if your clients just need to see their problem in a new light? Maybe one to three main things, that when addressed, will solve their problem. Using your secret sauce or methodology will solve their problem. Thinking through how to solve their problem is something that actually has come easily to me, right?
Maybe it's a product of growing up in the military and moving, so you have to assimilate and therefore read people really quickly, and see what's really driving them. Or, maybe I'm just a born strategist, I don't know. Whatever it is, I love using this skill, with integrity of course, in service of helping people towards truly bettering their lives. And I love helping my clients do the same, and I loved it when it was happening to me.
Okay, number two, you've got to believe that the transformation happens after the transaction. Really, really believe this. Because notice how I just said we were using all this diagnosing and psychology for the benefit of our clients.
If you don't believe that, you'll feel bad about doing this. You'll feel like this is salesy, or manipulative, or for your own benefit. Rather than believing you're acting out of pure empathy and altruism, on behalf of your very capable, but very human client's highest self.
And listen, I might be wrong about this, only you can decide for yourself, but for the next few minutes, I invite you to just try on this thought; that the transaction actually precedes the transformation. That there's something special that happens when a human is willing to commit with their money, time, and effort, to creating a change.
It's a signal to their brains, and I'd argue, it's a signal to the Universe. Freud believed it, he refused to treat people that weren't willing to pay some kind of a fee. Now, I do believe that people can create change without paying a coach, of course. They can get in shape without paying a personal trainer, but their level of commitment, and the ease and timeframe it takes, will be affected.
And if you truly believe that you don't want your people to be in that pain, even a moment longer than they need to be, then you need to become really interested in this. Do you know how many copies of Daring Greatly have been sold? Yeah, Brené Brown. Over 2 million. Do you know how many of those people are still not daring greatly?
I'm not saying that isn’t incredibly valuable and impactful, that book. I do believe it helped people think differently, and helped some people take their first steps. And maybe a few people even blow their own minds. But if those 2 million people had worked with a coach, call me an idealist, but I believe the world would be a different place.
No, fuck that; I know the world would be a different place. Whatever transformation you're helping people with, they want it and there are people that want to pay you for it. And it really helps to believe that your people want to pay you money. What? Yes! Most of my people tell me thank you so much. I can't wait to get started.
They're thanking me for letting them pay me to expedite and aid this result that they want. They're happy to trade money. What is money, right? They're happy to trade money for time. And I was grateful to pay my parenting coach.
Oh, my God, you mean I don't have to read 100 parenting books with conflicting philosophies, and try to discern which one's best? Or, interview 100 coaches? I can just work with you, someone I trust? You've done all that work for me, you've cherry-picked the best of everything, and will walk me through it and help me apply it.
And if I get stuck, I have support. Meaning, I won't just give up, I'll actually get to my results. Thank you. And now that I've committed with money, you bet I'm going to show up to the calls each week, and do my homework between. Like, this is happening.
This is likely how your ideal clients think, too. And if so, don't waste time talking to the others. Speak to them with this clarity of belief, of these two things; the diagnosis itself is a gift. And, the transformation happens after the transaction. It's what allows you to show up like you're the answer to their prayers. Because you are.
My parenting coach was, for me. And when you show up that way, it's easy for your people to step into trust. I've figured this all out, so you don't have to go through all that. I can see the real problem, and there's a simple solution. I got you. You're welcome. Try on some of that energy and watch your business transform.
Okay, friends, that's it for the day. And remember, on a certain level, you know who you are. And each day, you're just stepping further into what you're here to create.
Hey, if you enjoyed today’s show, you do not want to miss next week’s. Seriously. Follow the show wherever you listen to your podcast so you don’t miss an episode. And would you please, leave a super quick rating and review about this episode?
It’s how you’ll let me know what you liked and what you’re still curious about, so that I can create the most valuable content for you, going forward. As well as you’ll help other highly driven but slightly uncertain entrepreneurs find this show, and get the tools they need. Thank you, so much.
Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity for Strategy for Growing and Scaling Your Business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.
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Ep #14: The #1 Skill for Entrepreneurship
If you are ready to transform your business, you don’t want to miss this episode. What I’m teaching you this week has nothing to do with tactics or drive, yet it will open you up to the keys that will make the biggest difference and create the most dramatic results for you in all areas of your life.
Episode Summary
Jenna shares one of the most important skills an entrepreneur can have in their business, and how to use this skill to transform your business, and create dramatic results in all areas of your life.
Get clear on what you offer to whom and how to talk about it … plus actually believe it. Join us in our Clarity Accelerator 60-day bootcamp by scheduling a call here.
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Show Notes
It is amazing the lengths that we humans go to in order to avoid our emotions. Our brain’s default setting is to avoid feeling discomfort, meaning we aren’t often willing to feel what we perceive to be negative emotions. But this is one of the most important skills you can develop as an entrepreneur, and once you learn to acknowledge and feel your emotions – even when they hurt – you will notice the difference it makes in your business and life.
If you are ready to transform your business, you don’t want to miss this episode. What I’m teaching you this week has nothing to do with tactics or drive, yet it will open you up to the keys that will make the biggest difference and create the most dramatic results for you in all areas of your life.
Join me this week as I’m teaching you what to do with negative emotions and how to transform feelings like hurt or stress into something more useful, productive, and helpful. I’m sharing some tools to help you transform your negative emotions into wisdom, and showing you how this work will make you so much more resilient and less self-sabotaging in the long run.
What You’ll Learn From This Episode:
Why emotions and sensations do so much more damage when you avoid them.
The reason this work can be so difficult at first.
Some questions to ask yourself to help you start acknowledging your emotions.
Why so many people are unwilling to do this work.
What is happening with your emotions when you don’t pay attention to them.
The problem with resisting your emotions.
Why developing this skill is so crucial in your business.
Listen to the Full Episode:
Featured on the Show:
Want to work with me? Click here to find out how!
Click here to sign up for my newsletter and find out how the Connect The Dots Method has helped clients in all stages of their business.
Follow me on Instagram for behind-the-scenes content from my trip to Italy as well as my daily value bombs!
Full Episode Transcript:
The number one skill for entrepreneurship and building your business has nothing to do with tactics or drive. It's definitely not sexy. But it's what will open you up to the keys that make the biggest difference, create the most dramatic results in your business. But you've gotta go through a little bit of fire to get there. It's what most of the world won't do. And yet, you can do it from the comfort of your sofa in just 60 seconds. Stick around.
You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life, by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top ranked business coach and reformed overanalyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.
Welcome back to The Uncommon Way. This is my last week in Italy. After delayed flights, and being denied a rental car, even though we were hours away from our house. Driving down one lane roads in pitch dark night, only to find out that all of the stores and restaurants had closed already, and not being able to eat.
Waking up to an ant infestation. And then, continued days with food scarcity and no showers. Wind so high that the national weather service was issuing alerts about it; then, finally flew in. And then, we had about nine days of rain.
But now, my brother and sister-in-law have come from Texas, and they brought the sun and the warm weather to us. So, this last, oh, I don't know, 10 days, maybe week, has been so joyous. We have rented a boat, and sailed around hidden coves of water so blue that it looks like a snow cone or something; it looks so fake and yet it’s real. Fresh seafood lunches right on the beach, with our toes in the sand, was great.
We were talking to my sister-in-law, who has never been out of the U.S. And, we were talking about how different it is here. Like, you can sit down at a table, you order your meal, and then the waiters just disappear. They're not bringing the check to you and expecting to turn over the table for the next, you know, group coming in.
And, she described it as an absence of micro stressors. Back in the States, there are all of these little stressors; things that need to be done, or people that are upset because you're staying at the table too long. And there's so many other things; you have to think about tipping, how much to tip, is this person worthy of a tip, right? And here, we don't even tip.
And there are so many of these things throughout the day that just create such a laid-back experience, and such a different amount of stress in our lives. That conversation, combined with the horrific shooting in Thailand, has me wanting to talk about what to do when things hurt. What to do with those negative emotions, and how to transform hurt or stress into wisdom.
This may be the number one skill for entrepreneurship; it will change everything in your business and life. And this is really what so much of the world doesn't know how to do, or is not willing to do. To me, this really is the secret to world peace. Because you can't insulate yourself from negative emotions.
Whether those are the small micro stressors that eventually build up to the pot boiling over, or it's those big volcano emotions like a major disappointment, we think we can insulate ourselves, right? This is what the brain does. The brain says, when I have the business, for instance, when I have this amount of money in the bank, then I'll feel financially secure.
We think we can insulate ourselves from ever feeling disappointed, but we're always carrying around a human brain. The human brain is always creating meaning. And the human brain has a natural negativity bias. So, this is something that we consciously have to counteract, if we want to live a life that is not as painful as would naturally be.
Our brains say, if I do this or accomplish this thing, whatever it is, then I'll feel satisfied, for instance, and can be a calmer person, right? Notice that sequence that our brain sees as a do or accomplish, and then feel, and then be.
Another variation is, have-do-be, right? If I have an audience that loves me, I will do more Instagram® lives, and I will be more confident. But it's always the other way around. It's always; when I'm feeling confident, I do more lives, and I create an audience that loves me.
And it's so amazing, because really, if you follow the trail of breadcrumbs for anything of what people most want, or what they most want to avoid, it always comes down to a feeling.
Like, sometimes I'll have a client who is really afraid, and I'll say, “What are you most afraid of?” And it's that, “My business won't work and I'll be penniless.” Okay, then what? What will happen, then? “Well, maybe then I'll have to move back in with my parents, or ask them for a loan.”
Okay, and what would happen then, right? What's the consequence of that? “Oh my gosh, I would feel like such a failure. I would feel so ashamed having to ask them.” So, you see? It all comes down to a feeling. And it is amazing what lengths we humans go to, to avoid a feeling, avoid an emotion.
I have a mentor, Brooke Castillo, who uses this example of Martians coming down to the planet, and being like; oh, wow, what are these feeling things? What are these emotions, right? Is it like, you know, you form boils on your skin? And then, it just peels off your face as if you're on fire?
And you're like; no, it just feels more kind of like a pressure in your chest. They’ll be like, that's it? That's it, and yet, you go through all of these lengths to avoid that? Because what is an emotion, really? It’s a sensation, right? It's a vibration passing through your body. And if you fully allow that sensation, they don't even last that long, which is the crazy part.
They last so much longer, they do so much more damage, when you resist them or avoid them. And I still catch myself, right? There is not a single one of you listening that's; like, oh, I don't do that. Or, I'm above that. I've learned that. No, no, no. Because you're human, right? And the brain, your brain, knows you better than anyone. And, your brain can take you out of the consciousness of what it's doing behind the scenes.
I catch myself in this all the time, right? I'll go a whole day, not thinking about something, right? Like, I don't want to think about it. Or, looking on the bright side. Or, something that seems so helpful, until I realize this is not helpful. This is not helpful, at all.
And, how many actions do you take from that place? Do you take from that place of avoiding that emotion or not thinking about it, but it's still there, right? And, it's driving all of your actions.
So, maybe you're feeling devastated, but you're not really dealing with that emotion. And so, you're moving into inaction, right? Your body just shuts down. You have this collapsing energy; I just can't do anything. Like, I'm just too… I need to watch the news, right?
Or, you're feeling rejected, maybe by your audience. And so, your language switches to this convincing energy or this kind of chastising energy, like; why don't you wake up and see what you need to do? And that doesn't create the results you want. That doesn't bring on any new clients.
Or, maybe you're feeling ashamed because you think that the actions you're taking or need to take, or your coach is telling you to take, will make you be perceived as salesy. So, what do you do? You don't follow up with that client, right? Or, you avoid sales calls, because the truth is, you don't want to have clients, or you don't want to have sales calls.
This is why improving this skill, of dealing with things when they hurt, when they feel uncomfortable, is so necessary. In the Clarity Accelerator, right during the modules, where we first start interacting with people and we start selling something, that's when this comes up. So, that's when we have this training on emotional maturity.
I have my clients start to experience this kind of discomfort early on. And part of that is purposeful, it is the muscle they need to build, to become resilient entrepreneurs and keep taking bigger and bigger risks. But also, it just makes sense.
Rather than spending years building an audience on social media, we prove that the offer has legs, and is viable, by actually selling it, or at least selling a part of it. You can tell me, 50 of your friends said they think your offer’s so valuable. You can tell me, it changed your life, and you know other people need it; I don't care.
Is someone willing to pull out their credit card now? That is what proves viability. So yes, this brings up some emotions, earlier on. But that's what makes my clients so much more resilient and less self-sabotaging in the long run.
And now, I want to give you some body-based tools, or somatic tools, for transforming hurts and stressors into wisdom, to really processing these emotions. If you haven't processed the emotions from Thailand, yet, and you are sensitive to the topic, I recommend you do that now with me.
Otherwise, practice with a personal issue or your strongest uncomfortable feeling in your business. Okay, you ready?
First, you need to establish safety. So, you need to tell your nervous system that you are safe right now. When you start to actually feel the emotion, it will feel activated. It may think you're being chased by a tiger, right, so first, we're going to establish safety.
And, let a part of your brain know that you are perfectly safe right here. And to do that, all you need to do is feel the seat beneath you, feel the floor beneath you. And then tell yourself, show your eyes, that you're in a room. That you are in a safe place with a roof over your head. The temperature is amenable. There is no immediate threat in your environment.
Take a breath, and then, slowly exhale that breath. Then, invite that emotion in, feel it, feel it in your body. Now, most people can't do this at first, when they're not used to it. And so, they'll use their brains. If I ask a client; what are you feeling in your body? They will use their brains to describe it; I'm feeling shut down. And then, I will ask; what does shutdown feel like? What does constricted feel like? How can you describe that to me as if I needed to feel it?
I have physician clients, as well. And they'll sometimes start telling me like, the musculature of what's going on with them. And I'm like, no, no, no. Tell me, let me feel it, too. So, I want you to think in that way about the sensation of your emotion.
Does it tingle? Is there movement? Is there temperature? Is there pressure? Is it dense? Is it light? Is it large? Is it small? What does it actually feel like? This is something we rarely do, just sit and feel an emotion. Because it's uncomfortable. Our brain wants to avoid feeling uncomfortable emotions.
But you can do this, you can do hard things. Accept that emotion being there. You can literally tell it; it's okay. It's okay for you to be in my body right now. Just like, we are not our thoughts, we are not our emotions, you can get curious about it. And most of all, have no judgement about it being there. This is the human experience, in your human body, right now. And you're just watching it all unfold.
Now next, I'm going to ask you to dial it up. This is something we would never do, we always want less of the emotion, not more of the emotion. But I want you to imagine you had an old-fashioned radio with dials, and you could just turn it up. I want you to increase the intensity of that emotion, just for a small bit of time.
When you do that, when you're calling the shots, you will instantly feel a shift of some sort, you will feel it lose its power. It's when we resist the emotions, that it gathers more power. I've had a coach say, “What do you tend to do, if someone in your household is not listening to you, and you really know that they're about to hurt themselves, or that they really need to hear that thing? You keep following them around and speaking louder, right?”
And that's exactly what's going on with these emotions, when we're not paying attention to them. They're just trying to get heard. So, soften into the fact that they're there, invite more of it in. Invite more of that intensity in, and just sit with it and watch it.
It's like, if we were ever going to drink a potion of a certain emotion, we could do that for… Even if we'd know it would last 30 seconds, we'd be like; ooh, let me try sadness. And we'd feel that sadness for 30 seconds. It would probably feel very cathartic afterwards, right? Like, a tear jerker movie, and then we would be in an altered state.
So, soften and invite this emotion in, as if it's not such a terrible thing. It's a part of your experience, and you can be with it. And then, just check in. In what ways does it feel different than it used to? Is there anything that it wants to say to you? Is there anything it wants you to do, shift your body, move in a certain way? Check back in with it, in a week?
And then, you can turn the dials back down when you're ready, and you can move on with your day. That whole process can take 60 seconds or it can take five minutes. But what it leaves you with, is that clarity, right? That neutrality. Because I always say, “Clarity is very, very simple.” It's that sudden understanding, right? It's like the curtain opening, or the fog lifting, then it's like, oh, this; it’s that groundedness.
And, you cannot get there from a reactive state. Your higher self or your neocortex speaks to you when you settle your nervous system. We can call this whatever we want, right? Whatever you call your most elevated consciousness, whether that's your Higher Self, your neocortex; I am completely language agnostic here. I'm happy to speak to people about brain science, if they're more attuned to that. Spirituality, if they're more attuned to that.
But you think about your most elevated consciousness. Either way, your repressed intense emotions and negativity only lead to an activated nervous system. And science shows us that the higher parts of our brains shut down under bad stress.
Therefore, the longer you deny this work, the less access you have to the wisdom, the inspiration, the insights, that are the biggest drivers of your business success. In fact, I had an early business mentor, who had made a million dollars her first year in business. What she credited to that success was spending hours upon hours, doing mindset work on her biggest hang-ups and fears, and thinking back about unhelpful stories and beliefs that she had.
And she would not stop the work for that day until she had made herself cry. She needed to get to that level of emotion, in order to purge the past and move on with the future, and gain the insights to show up in a much bigger way.
Said with love, “Fuck consistency. Fuck willpower. Fuck the hustle, and fuck the latest tactics for Instagram.” Your greatest business successes will come from a much different place, that's a far more beautiful place to be in, too. If you're willing to do the mindset and emotional work that precedes it.
Okay, friends, that's it for today. And remember, on a certain level you know who you are. And, each day you're stepping further into what you are here to create.
Hey, if you enjoyed today’s show, you do not want to miss next week’s. Seriously. Follow the show wherever you listen to your podcast so you don’t miss an episode. And would you please, leave a super quick rating and review about this episode?
It’s how you’ll let me know what you liked and what you’re still curious about, so that I can create the most valuable content for you, going forward. As well as you’ll help other highly driven but slightly uncertain entrepreneurs find this show, and get the tools they need. Thank you so much.
Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity for Strategy for Growing and Scaling Your Business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.
Enjoy the Show?
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Ep #13: Allowing Yourself to Receive
Allowing yourself to sit back and receive is no easy feat, especially as a woman. But we can all agree, receiving more is a good thing. So why are so many women still holding themselves back in their lives and businesses by unintentionally blocking so much of what they’re trying to achieve?
Do you find it difficult to ask for help or support? Do you feel awkward or undeserving when somebody pays you a compliment? Are you always trying to downplay your accomplishments to yourself or those around you? You are not alone. So many women block themselves from receiving in these ways.
Allowing yourself to sit back and receive is no easy feat, especially as a woman. But we can all agree, receiving more is a good thing. So why are so many women still holding themselves back in their lives and businesses by unintentionally blocking so much of what they’re trying to achieve?
Join me this week as I’m sharing why it’s so difficult for women to allow themselves to receive, and how this is holding you back in your life and business. I’m asking you some questions to help spark realizations and develop awareness about what is feeling difficult to receive and sharing three steps to get you course correcting today and beginning the work of allowing yourself to receive more.
If you would like help getting clear on what you are offering and how to talk about it, you have to join us in The Clarity Accelerator. It’s 60 of the best-spent days you’ll ever have, and you’ll get my eyes on your business and your messaging helping you dial all this in. Click here to schedule a call with me as soon as possible to learn more.
What You’ll Learn From This Episode:
The conditioning we have received as women and how it impacts our businesses.
Some thoughts that keep you from expanding into a new level of consciousness or experience.
How being unable to receive has shown up in my own life.
Some places where it might be tough for you to receive and the reasons for it.
How to allow yourself to receive more
What not allowing yourself to receive is really costing you.
A simple mantra to help you receive more in your life.
Listen to the Full Episode:
Featured on the Show:
Want to work with me? Click here to find out how!
Click here to sign up for my newsletter and find out how the Connect The Dots Method has helped clients in all stages of their business.
Follow me on Instagram for behind-the-scenes content from my trip to Italy as well as my daily value bombs!
Full Episode Transcript:
You're listening to Episode 13 of The Uncommon Way, where we're talking about the art of receiving, and why it's so difficult for women, especially, to allow themselves to receive. How that blocks so much of what they're trying to achieve in business and life. And, how to begin the work of allowing yourself to receive more.
I've got some questions for you, that will help spark some realizations about what, specifically, is feeling difficult to receive. And of course, what to do about it. Because I think we all can agree, receiving more is a good thing. Right?
You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life, by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top ranked business coach and reformed overanalyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.
Welcome back to The Uncommon Way. I'm sitting in Porto San Paolo, Sardinia, looking at the beautiful red rooftops and white buildings that lead right down to this gorgeous sea. And there's this huge island rock, right out in the port. And, it just feels like life is really turning around.
Things are definitely looking up on the Italy front from last week. We switched homes, and we moved to a different part of the island. No more ant infestations. We can actually get food here, go out to restaurants, the area’s a lot more protected and less windy. So, we're pretty much loving life.
Now today, I want to talk about something that happened last week on a Clarity Collective call, and how it really highlights the importance of allowing yourself to receive. But first, I want to spotlight one of the listeners of this podcast who left this review:
“Clarity for the Soul. Jenna has a way of putting the confusion around entrepreneurship to sleep. Jenna uses her own clear sense of self to pave a path of simplicity for anyone looking to embody entrepreneurship and wealth as a destiny. Beautiful, inspiring, and forward thinking, this podcast offers simple yet highly effective strategy for mindset and sustainable wealth creation.”
That was actually from one of my dear mentors, Danielle Eyman. And I'm so grateful to anyone who takes the time to leave a review and to reflect back, either what they like about the podcast, because that helps other listeners figure out if it'll be helpful for them. And also, what they'd like to hear in the podcast, because that is so helpful for me. So, thank you, Danielle.
And I will fully and completely receive this compliment, because I am no longer afraid to own my truth. Now there was a point in my life, were reading those words, alone by myself in my bedroom, would have made me squirm with discomfort, let alone read them out loud to all of you. But allowing myself to receive this, is a testament to the work I've done on myself around this topic. And I'm on a mission to help others do the same.
Because there's one thing I've learned, it's that when you're trying to make something happen, your results are inferior to when you are letting things happen. Now, yes, there is balance. We're not just sitting back and doing nothing. But the actions we're taking reflect our beliefs. They're just who we are and what we do.
When things start to backfire, is when we're trying to force something to happen that we think we really need, or doubt that we'll get. That's when we shut the doors to receiving. We get so caught up in being self-reliant. Maybe you're like I was, and you've developed this story that you can't trust or count on anything outside of yourself. If you want something, nobody with you is going to make that happen.
And we get so used to that perspective, that we may not even realize that we're actually pushing things away. I can't stress the urgency of this work enough. If you don't start releasing this block, it's like being in a rowboat with a small anchor. Of course, everything's nautical theme for me now, because I'm here. But yes, it's like being in a rowboat with a small anchor.
Everything's so much harder and you go so much slower. When it comes to bringing on clients, it's almost like you've got one hand waving the person closer. But then with the other, your palm’s out flat and you're saying; stop, not too close. Like, come closer, but not too close.
So, let's see where it might be tough for you to receive. I'm going to ask you some questions and see if any of them feel relatable. Do you have a sneaking suspicion that you're the one blocking yourself from clients that want to pay you? Either, you're not bringing on many clients or your group size isn't really commensurate with peers, and with the effort you're putting out?
Do you hear your partner say, “Well, why didn't you just say so,” after you finally blow a gasket and say you need some help? When someone pays you a compliment, it feels awkward and often, undeserved. You tend to say something like; oh no, you're the one who looks amazing. Or, oh, thanks. I feel like I bombed it, though.
Do you feel guilty about money you spend on yourself, or investments you make in your business? So, you know you just make lots of smaller ones instead, like binge shopping at Marshall's? Are you always trying to grab the check at the restaurant so that someone else isn't paying for you? Does it feel totally uncomfortable to let somebody do something that you could just as easily do yourself?
So, you end up just doing most things yourself. And then you're exhausted from doing everything for everyone, and trying to show your business baby some love, too. But of course, everything the biz baby puts out has to be extra, extra perfect If you're ever going to truly deserve to be successful. Do you tend to downplay your accomplishments both to yourself and those around you?
If so, we've just identified another clarity gap. You now have awareness that you have some issues around receiving, but you don't know exactly what to do about it. So, hang on, because I'm here to help you close that gap.
But first, you might notice that there are several themes running throughout those questions. There is money, there’s support, love, success, praise, appreciation. So, it can show up in different ways. But in life, these are all entwined. So, having a resistance to one can end up blocking others, too. Which is why I invite you to take the work of learning to receive very seriously.
It is work. Almost all change involves work. But you can change this; this isn't a life sentence. And you deserve to get out of your own way here, and start receiving what life has to offer. This is the kind of work that can make your business seem too easy, just too good to be true. You go from striving and efforting and still underperforming, to really surprising yourself, to then having another layer of work to do, because you're feeling guilty that things come to you so easily.
I've seen this over and over, with myself, in many iterations of my business. Right? I was the one that was working so hard, and got to the point where I felt like I deserved, finally, to earn money in the business. And then, we moved, I put the business aside, and I started ranking on Google®, and clients just started coming.
I've seen with clients. too. I’m thinking of one who was significantly underpaid, with a few very difficult time-consuming clients, who ventured into this work with me. And then, started realizing all of the connections she had, that were longing to support her.
If you look at her story, in hindsight, you'd say; well, of course, she became a success. I mean, look at all the connections she had. But it didn't feel that way when we started working together. She didn't even realize she had them. She worked with athletes, and it turns out she knew people at Nike®.
And, a friend of hers was dating the coach of this hockey team. Oh, and also there was this industry professional organization that wanted her on the board. I can't even remember all of them, really. It was just so amazing when she started to reveal all of this to me. But these people deeply respected her work and wanted to showcase it, so that their athletes could improve their results.
And once she started letting that happen, that's really all she had to do; her business took off. Again, this work is not a shortcut for setting up business foundations, you have to do that. This client knew her people very well, she'd made discoveries about her own secret sauce, and how to describe it, she had some standout testimonials. Or rather, I helped her get the standout testimonials from the past success stories, because she wasn't asking for them in a way that highlighted the value of her work.
This is something we do when we, deep-down, feel uncomfortable about receiving. We don't even want the really great testimonials to put up on our page, because we'd feel so awkward having them there. But even with someone like that, who has done so much of the groundwork, you can still not be seeing meaningful results in your business if you have hang-ups about letting yourself receive.
Which is why it's important to try to get ahead of this, too. When you know you're about to do something that's going to stretch this receiving tolerance, the tolerance you have for receiving a set amount of goodness but no more, then you will want to engage in this work preemptively.
And as a coach, I'm always watching for this with my clients. When they want to move on to do X, I'm looking out for their receiving tolerance. Here's an example. So, last week during our Clarity Collective call, and again, that's the larger group comprised of both Clarity Accelerator clients and private clients who have already been through at least one round of the Clarity Accelerator.
One of the women was sharing a new dream idea that had occurred to her. Now, this woman is such an amazing groundbreaker. We always love her ideas. She came on board with me, right when she was transitioning her private medical practice from taking insurance to no insurance. And really wanting that to be successful, via calling in a new type of client.
Someone who was willing to pay for high quality medical care, regardless of whether their insurance would pay for it. And, it's been going so well, that now she's selling her practice, and going totally virtual.
Which by the way, is one of the amazing things about the Clarity Collective. Because there are these synergies where everybody's just one step ahead of another, and can lend a helping hand or perspective in one area, and benefit from it from someone else in another.
I have another physician client, who's just thinking about going out on her own and leaving behind the medical establishment that she's been with for years. And even though your coach can tell you how possible it is, there's something so different about knowing a peer of yours was able to do it, and being able to talk to her about it.
And that goes for finding your first clients, or switching business models, or a new platform. There's this amazing blend of variety and synergy within this room. It's positively electric. I love it so much.
Anyway, now that my client is going virtual, it occurred to her that maybe she wanted to take a sabbatical here, and then pick up her coaching/medical business later. But she was having thoughts like; well, but things are going so well. Maybe I should ride the momentum. I don't want to break anything. But am I thinking this way out of fear?
And this is a perfect point to interject, that if you have similar thoughts, you need to listen to my podcast Episode 10, called, The Four Types of Thinking that Keep You Playing Small. And then, you need to get inside the Clarity Collective, so you can get this sorted out. Because as you're about to see, just these little brain ticks, which are totally, totally normal brain ticks, can alter the course of your life; they can drastically affect your decisions.
So, first thing, I wanted to help her stretch her brain in the opposite direction from its natural inclination. Which was to see why she would want to continue coaching now, rather than the reasons like, because I should. Where's the desire in that option? Because you never want to make a decision from, should I do what I want, or should I live in fear? Right? That won't lead to a clean decision either way.
She's very coachable, so she was willing to play and allowed herself to talk through it. As she did, she started generating actual desire. And wouldn't it be amazing if every decision we made were win-win like that, right? Just the choice of two amazing options we love.
So, when we got to this clean decision point, then I asked her, “And now, just what if it weren't either/or? What if it were both, Thailand and coaching? What would that look like? Let's just daydream of it. And as she imagined having a few calls a day, there was initial resistance that was immediately counteracted, because at that very minute, her own coach was sitting in Italy. Still maintaining coaching calls without missing a beat.
It was so perfect, my friends, it is all possible. It's just a question of what you want to create. Now, I have zero judgment about whether my client stays in her current city, goes to Thailand for a sabbatical, or does both. But make it your uncommon way, do what you want, rather than letting either, society or a conditioned way of thinking, narrow your possibilities.
The things we're able to manifest in this collective are very special. And it's because it's no coincidence that we're all together, and that I call in the people that I do. We’re meant to interact with the people that are going to help us towards our next evolution. And that, we in turn, can help. This is how it works when you're moving in alignment.
But one thing I did want to get real with her about, as someone who has actually done what she's thinking of doing, is this receiving piece. So, I brought it up. Because, in order to live a life like this, you have to do the work of letting yourself receive. Especially for women, who are conditioned to put ourselves last, to do everything for everyone, to be humble, to make sure things get taken care of, even if that means working tirelessly behind the scenes.
In fact, there's all this approval and all these accolades, right, when you play that role. Oh, so and so has been working so hard, so selflessly, this place would fall apart without her. So, allowing yourself to sit back and receive, that is no easy feat. Think about it. Do you have any memories of your grandmother just sitting back and letting everyone else cook her a meal, and clean up after her? And, she doesn't even jump up from the table to start cleaning dishes? If you're like me, the answer is a big, no.
I had a lot of the same conditioning that you all do. So, starting to do these month-long trips to the Mediterranean triggered all sorts of things. Correction. Even when I first started thinking about taking these trips, it triggered all sorts of things. Imagine spending this money on yourself. This is not cheap. Wouldn’t a responsible, self-sacrificing, wife or mom use that money for something else, or just not use it at all?
Imagine asking your entire family to transplant themselves, to inconvenience themselves. Your sweet, 70-plus-year-old mom to take that grueling flight. Your little kindergartener to stop bonding with his new schoolmates. And instead, do something that sends him straight into crankiness and regressions.
On other trips, I've scheduled calls while my son was asleep. But now, I'm also asking for childcare support, from my mom or husband, for the times that I have calls. And as I've just mentioned, hanging out with Dylan is not easy. And I'm also asking for you all not to judge me, or at least, I'm opening myself up, vulnerably, to the possibility that you might, about how full of myself I am talking about ooh-la-la trip to Italy.
Who knows what people would think? Because isn't this all just so self-centered? It's like the woman in movies, who marries the good guy, and then becomes this total diva and spends all the money, and is a horrible mom, and makes everything all about her. These are the kinds of thoughts I've had, that I know are totally normal, because I've heard other people express them, too.
They're the ones that keep you from expanding into a new level of consciousness and experience. That keep you from living the full life that's available to you. The way I'm living now, is not something I just flowed into gracefully. It took work. It took serious unpacking and belief building.
I remember how painful it used to be for me to ask Ben for money. It always rubbed me the wrong way, even to allow a date to pay for my meals. And I remember racking up credit card debt because I didn't want to ask Ben for money for many, many years into our marriage. Even though I'd given up my career to be with him, and follow him around the world in his military career.
And I'd spent countless unpaid hours on military activities that benefited his career. But that perspective isn't what my brain defaulted to. It defaulted to, you’re a mooch. If you ask, it means you're dependent on a man and you've lost all sense of pride, and you're a failure. He's going to get sick of you anyway. But it wasn't just money.
It was even the little things. Like, I remember once, we were sitting at the table, and we needed ketchup. And even though he was closer to the fridge, I automatically popped up to go get it, because I just knew it would be so much more uncomfortable to sit there for those few seconds, until he would finally get up and go get the ketchup.
And even after I started doing this work, I remember there was a day where one of us needed to take the dog to the vet the next day. And, I had a lot of work. And, I had taken the dog the last time. And so, I remember saying to Ben, “Can you take her?” Now, he was in the bathroom, I was in the bedroom. And I said, “Can you take her,” and then I heard him sigh.
And I sat on the edge of the bed, I kid you not, just breathing into my body. Every single ounce, every fiber of my body, wanted to say; you know what? That's okay, I'll take her. But I didn't. I sat there and breathed until he was like, “Yeah, I can totally arrange that.” His sigh wasn't because he was frustrated that I asked. He was just trying to think through how he was going to arrange his day, so that he could take the dog to the vet.
And in business, I noticed for instance, that if I raised my price, I always found a way to make things harder in order to compensate. I'd start adding in extra calls or creating extra trainings. Or, I'd bring on a really difficult client and hear my inner voice say; I earned this. As if the value of what I was sharing with that client wasn't nearly as important as the time and effort I was giving to that client.
So, I have been there. I've been in the trenches. But I'll tell you what really opened my eyes. What was the biggest turning point in this work where I was like, I get it and I'll never go back. The first year I did this, the first year I took a month abroad, I took Dylan to the island of Paros, in Greece. And my mom came for just the last week or so, maybe 10 days of that trip.
The night she arrived at the little cottage, I went to get her a glass of water using a bottle in the fridge, and she goes, “Oh no, that's okay. I don't want to use up your water.” She was referring to the fact that she can just drink tap water. Even though it came from an underground cistern and smelled like old garbage, I kid you not.
A few minutes later, we got into an argument over who should get up with the baby in the morning, and let the other sleep in. Me, who had been there for weeks and was fully acclimated, or her, who just spent 24 hours traveling. And this was just typical for us. We were always like; oh, no, let me do it. Oh, no, let me do it.
I don't ever remember my mom just resting. She was always up doing something. Even at night, if she was watching TV, there might be something in the oven or she was sewing something. And it just clicked for me then, I was like; oh, no wonder my clients and I are like this. And no wonder my mom is like this, her mom was the same way, I'm sure.
And maybe you grew up with a model of self-sacrifice, too. I realized how deeply ingrained all of this is for us. Why it's so terribly uncomfortable to receive. Especially when we couple that, later in life, with trying to prove ourselves and be independent, self-sufficient women, right? We pile all of these other layers of meaning on top of why it's wrong to receive.
But friends, you need to think of abundance like a water hose. There's all this abundance coming towards you from the Universe, from loved ones, from clients; the volume is not the problem. The problem is that we pinch the flow of that hose. We're like; oh, that's too much. I wasn't prepared to get that wet.
And, it's like we have muscle memory around it. We acclimate to a certain level of receiving tolerance or abundance tolerance, and then as soon as a rash of good fortune and abundance slips through, we tense up again, and our fingers close off that hose.
So, what's a girl to do? How do you allow yourself to receive? This is ongoing work. It's something that we workshop regularly in the Clarity Collective. And something that I'm always calling out for my clients, and something that I'm working on, too.
So, I'm sure that if my husband listened to this podcast episode, he'd just be laughing, because I still exhibit a lot of these behaviors, right? It's a work in progress. But here are some key things to get you course correcting today.
Number one, first, you need awareness. So, this week, pick one thing where you suspect it's challenging for you to receive. It could be money, support, love, success, or praise, or whatever you come up with. And then, set some timers on your phone, so you can be reminded to reflect throughout the day on where this is showing up for you in your life now.
The second step is clarity, naturally. You need to get clear on what this is really costing you. How is it affecting your results, your energy level, your relationships, your creativity, your values? Really go there; get real. You need to do this, if you're ever going to convince your brain to undergo a change. Remember, your brain is trying to keep you alive by doing exactly what it knows works, aka what has kept you alive up until this point, right?
It is not interested in spending costly energy on rewiring brain circuitry. And then ask yourself; how is it unsafe to fully receive? Because we want clarity on why we haven't been allowing it, right? For those of you who are LCS (Life Coach School) coaches like me, I call these “advanced thought finders”.
So, what will it mean about you, if you were to receive in that way? Typically, with receiving, there's some tie to worthiness, to not enoughness. Because if your belief is I'm not enough yet, maybe if I get to X point, then I'll be enough or be worthy of receiving. Right? If I work hard enough, then I'll be worthy. Then you'll keep coming up with situations to reinforce this.
Ways in which you're not enough, situations where you're not there yet. Maybe you'll inadvertently create the evidence that people don't want to work with you, for instance.
From that kind of clarity, we move on to the third step, which is taking committed action to do and believe differently. This is what signals to your brain and the Universe that you're serious. Otherwise, you just keep recreating your old script, and maybe experiencing marginal improvement, but never big shifts.
I've talked about this process in other episodes, but the way to think of this is that you're increasing tolerance, just like you increase weights when you're working out. And, guess what? You can do this by creating a situation that stretches you. Maybe asking your family to clean up after dinner, and then not even doing something while they're doing it. Yeah, just kick your feet up, seriously.
Or, maybe, finally raising your prices. Or, you can baby step and practice with some mental exercises. Just imagine any of the things I just mentioned, or get really creative. Imagine yourself driving up somewhere in a Ferrari, stepping out in a diamond encrusted dress, and walking into an awards gala that's all about you. Where everyone singing your praises and you have to stand up there next to the person talking about you, and receive this award.
You do get to have fun with this, you know, but it should elicit enough discomfort, enough response, that you get to practice feeling that emotion. And you know what I want you to do, when it happens? I want you to say this simple mantra: I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry that I have needs. That I have opinions. That my work is worthwhile and valuable. That there are really amazing things in my life. That I have a zone of genius. I'm really done being sorry for any of it. And then, breathe.
Because the next step, when you're going through any up-level, is to relax your nervous system. If you're constantly in a triggered state, a part of your brain will double down on its protectiveness, and your efforts will be counterproductive. How do you relax your nervous system? If you don't know, we need to talk.
But whatever you've been doing, do it five times more regularly. Thank yourself for stretching. Reward yourself for tolerating the discomfort. That creates a positive feedback loop that makes your system more willing to try it again and again. You become more flexible when you allow your muscles to rest and recover. And these kinds of positive feedback loops will change your life.
Because your muscles become primed for bigger things. It's all transferable. Yeah, you'll still recognize the sensation of discomfort, though you'll have that muscle memory, so they won't seem so triggering. And you'll be able to move through them in a new way. And then, your nervous system will relax more quickly afterwards.
So, let me recap those. The first, is awareness. Obviously, you can't make change if you don't know what's going on. The second step is clarity. You need to make your brain understand what it's really costing you and where it might be coming from.
Then you need to take committed action to do and believe differently, knowing that it will bring discomfort. Practice saying the mantra “I'm not sorry”. And then, always allow your nervous system to relax. Give yourself that reset, so that you can keep growing and doing bigger and bolder things.
This is what you need to be willing to do and what you need to be willing to feel, in order to live your uncommon way. You have to open yourself to receiving that life, and expect that it won't be comfortable in the beginning. After all, the nature of uncommon is that not everyone's doing that or living that way.
So, on some level, it might not feel right or fair in the beginning. But so what if it stretches you a little, life is meant to stretch you. You can't get where you're going with the same brain that got you here. You are literally not able to receive the life you want with your current brain. Otherwise, you would have done it already.
And, it's so worth it, believe me. This is how I've created a life where I'm doing something that hardly anyone does; work from overseas, have location independence. Watch the joy on my husband's face as he sips and ice-cold beer looking out over the sea. Watch my mom as she buys the cutest little gifts for her friends back home, from the nice lady in the town square. See my son fascinated by the crab and the tide pools, and building sandcastles with foreign kids.
And furthering the values we have of being part-time citizens of the world, so we counteract that human tendency towards tunnel vision.
As a business owner, I get to stretch my brain about what actually creates results. I get to set so many business tasks aside, so many business have-to’s, and marvel that my revenue always seems to increase, regardless. I download inspiration just like trial scoops from the gelato shop. I relax into another way of life. I extend summer past its natural conclusion, back in Pennsylvania.
And I know, above all else, I know that I'm living a life of my own design. You can too.
Okay, that's it for the day. We're off to have a yummy seafood lunch in a little beach to taverna, and I will toast to you all. Remember, at a certain level you know who you are. And each day you're stepping further into what you're here to create.
Hey, if you enjoyed today’s show, you do not want to miss next week’s. Seriously. Follow the show wherever you listen to your podcast so you don’t miss an episode. And would you please, leave a super quick rating and review about this episode?
It’s how you’ll let me know what you liked and what you’re still curious about, so that I can create the most valuable content for you, going forward. As well as you’ll help other highly driven but slightly uncertain entrepreneurs find this show, and get the tools they need. Thank you so much.
Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity for Strategy for Growing and Scaling Your Business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.
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Ep #12: What to Do When Things Go Wrong in Your Business
Our brain has this interesting quirk. It thinks of something that we need to solve, or an obstacle that we are up against, then tells us that once we face it and it’s behind us, everything will be better and it’ll be full steam ahead. But this is never the case; there are always more obstacles to contend with. So what do you do about all the things that can go wrong?
As you probably already know, entrepreneurship is quite a different animal from anything you’ve excelled at before. It frequently feels difficult and uncomfortable, and as a result we tend to try and stay in our comfort zones as much as possible. But when you don’t take the risk and move through them, you don’t see what’s possible in your business. It is so easy to forget that experiencing discomfort will be worth it.
Our brain has this interesting quirk. It thinks of something that we need to solve, or an obstacle that we are up against, then tells us that once we face it and it’s behind us, everything will be better and it’ll be full steam ahead. But this is never the case; there are always more obstacles to contend with.
So what do you do about all the things that can go wrong? And how do you get in front of obstacles when you’ve never built a business before so don’t know what to anticipate?
In this episode, I’m sharing why so many of us aren’t even scratching the surface of what we could really be doing in our businesses and showing you how to move through obstacles so you can gain a bigger perspective. Find out what can go wrong as you’re building your business and how I move my clients through these stages so they can get back to taking powerful action and creating the amazing businesses that they’re here to create.
If you would like help getting clear on what you are offering and how to talk about it, you have to join us in The Clarity Accelerator. It’s 60 of the best-spent days you’ll ever have, and you’ll get my eyes on your business and your messaging helping you dial all this in. Click here to schedule a call with me as soon as possible to learn more.
What You’ll Learn From This Episode:
Why entrepreneurship is the greatest personal development journey on the planet.
Some states and scenarios that can lead to us feeling stuck, quitting, or getting sub-optimal results.
Why earning money in your own business is much harder than earning money in a job.
The problem with being unclear when it comes to your business.
Why if something is meant for you, it will not pass you by.
How to create the future your inner visionary sees for you.
A simple tool you can use in your business when things go wrong.
Listen to the Full Episode:
Featured on the Show:
Want to work with me? Click here to find out how!
Click here to sign up for my newsletter and find out how the Connect The Dots Method has helped clients in all stages of their business.
Follow me on Instagram for behind-the-scenes content from my trip to Italy as well as my daily value bombs!
Full Episode Transcript:
Our brain has this interesting quirk, it tends to think that whatever we need to solve will make everything better. So, as soon as we solve whatever obstacle is coming up for us right now, whatever we perceive to be the source of our problems, then we'll look around as if we had rose colored glasses on. Unfortunately, that's not the case.
Today, we're going to talk about what can go wrong as you're building your business. And I'll let you in on how I move my clients through the stages, so that they can minimize their downtime, and get back to taking really powerful action, and creating the amazing businesses they're here to create.
You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life, by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top ranked business coach and reformed overanalyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.
Hey, welcome back to The Uncommon Way, everyone. I have been getting so much interest about the Clarity Accelerator, thank you so much. I'm glad that it's resonating with you. The best way to find out all of the details at this moment, is to go ahead and book a call with me. I meet with people on Mondays and Fridays, usually just two on each day. So, you do want to snap up one of those spots. And yes, I'm doing that now, even while I'm in Italy.
If you want to start 2023 lightyears ahead, in terms of your clarity, now is the time to join this 60-day program, which is going to radically change, not just the way you think about your business, but the way you think about building business, in general. Your business won't be the same, and you won't be the same, either.
So, if you'd like to talk about it, hop on a call with me, I will be able to tell you if this is the right move for what is going on in your business. And if you are a great fit for the program, and will be able to benefit from what's available inside.
Okay, so you might notice that the sound is a little bit different. I am in Italy; I'm still recording in a closet, but it's not a walk-in closet. I'm just sort of smushed into my clothes here. And, you may hear my son, Dylan, in the background. I have an amazing podcast editorial team, but there's only so much Dylan that you can edit out. So, we'll see how it goes.
So, I have to tell you, this trip has been a little bit of a Murphy's Law situation. Our red-eye had a flight delay, which entailed keeping the four-year-old up much later than expected, or much later than he ever has stayed up before. And when we got to Italy, it turns out there is a new law, which says that Americans need an international driver's license to rent a car, which I don't have.
We were in Greece just a few months ago, and rented without a problem. And really the funny thing, is that an international driver's license; you don't even take a test. You go down to AAA (American Automobile Association) and you pay some money, and they give you this certificate. But they were adamant they were not going to rent to me.
So, I called rentalcars.com They tried to help me, they tried to find another company, and it was looking pretty bleak. Oh. Meanwhile, we're staying about an hour from the airport, in the middle of a nature reserve. And I'm trying to think; even if I take a taxi out there, we need a car. How would we get food?
Meanwhile, my son is just so sleep deprived, and in desperation, I started going agency to agency, there in the airport, asking if they would help me. And, guess what? Someone said, “That's not a problem for me.” After everyone else, we're talking about six, seven other agencies had said no, so he rented me the car. And then, we drove out to this location ,by now it was nighttime, and it took twice as long. On the map it's 28 miles, this took an hour and a half, driving on the tiniest little roads. My poor mom was so carsick.
Italians are flying past us on these one lane roads, basically, in the middle of the night, no streetlights. And our first few days were pretty rocky just trying to find supermarkets, trying to find times when they were actually open. I've been bribing my son with pizza and ice cream. When he comes to Italy with me, he's going to get so much pizza and ice cream.
I know, don't judge. And would you believe the tourist season is shutting down in this little remote area, and all of the pizza places are not serving pizza. They literally say, “Pizzeria, no. We don't serve…” Oh, and by the way, nobody is speaking English, which is so unusual. I kind of love it nowadays, but Spanish is close enough. I speak Spanish so we're managing.
Finally, last night we found a pizza place that, yes, at dinnertime has pizza. And, we had just such a nice day. We had then, stocked the house with food… And, oh my gosh, I didn't even tell you all about the ant infestation. And the water, the hot water went out in the master bedroom. But all of that was behind us.
We had this amazing meal, it’s just pizza to die for. Friendliest family, friendliest people, our children were playing together. Sardinian wine is to die for. And I woke up this morning, the winds had calmed down. Of course, the coastline is unbelievably rugged and gorgeous. And we're right on the beach. This vivid, vivid, turquoise and blue, and these amazing rock formations.
I drove to the supermarket, thinking it's all past us, now our vacation really begins. I popped into the market for a couple necessities, and as I pulled back out, next to this little rock wall, the fender of the car clipped the rock wall.
I heard a little bit of a scratch, just the tiniest little thing, and I thought, shit. But I'll look at it when I get home. There's nothing I can do now. So, I drove home, got out of the car, looked at it, said, “Hmm, I don't see anything. This is fantastic.” Started walking around the car... This is the moment when I wish podcasts were a visual forum, you would not believe what I saw.
The rock wall had clipped the area in between the fender and the wheel. And it had bent the entire front of the fender back like, you know, these little Italian cars, it just like compressed the whole thing. It looked like an accordion. And the bottle, that the carries the water for the windshield wiper, it was like falling off, basically dragging along the ground.
And I'm thinking; what am I going to do? We're in the middle of nowhere. How are we going to get a tow truck out here to fix this car? Are the police gonna pull me over for not being street legal? They can't pull me over because I don't have a valid driver's license.
Would you believe that we had an electrician at the house, at that moment, and I begged him for help. And he was able to not only contact my rental car company for me, and explain what was going on, so that they can switch out the car for me when I go back in two days to pick up Ben from the airport.
Oh, yeah, by the way, I'm literally telling you this before I've even told Ben, because of the time zone difference. And just using the strength of his arm, he was able to unbend the fender. Used zip ties to secure the fender back in place, I can't even make this up, so that I can drive the car again.
I know, why am I telling you this whole story? It's because just recently, in the episode about the four types of thinking that hold us back, I mentioned that when I was back home, I was feeling like; things are pretty good here, why are we going to transplant ourselves to Italy? It's going to be difficult. And, how I knew that it would still be worth it.
And, this is exactly what happens to us in business. We hold ourselves back from going through discomfort, forgetting that it is still going to be worth it. In the lessons that I've learned, just in the last few days, the humanity and generosity of people helping me and really moving mountains, has been such a gift.
And the resilience that I'm seeing my son develop, will be a lifelong benefit. But so often, what happens in business is that we do hit those rough patches, and it makes us wonder if we should just quit. It really makes us question everything, rather than leaning into what's actually available for us on the other side.
I mean, I, in the past, might have made so much meaning about this; that I was obviously not meant to be here. That we should all just pack up and go home. That for some reason, I was bringing this bad luck upon myself. I needed to do some sort of mindset work to figure out why I keep making things so difficult for myself. Or, just that God hates me, you know, the universe hates me. Or, that there's something wrong with me, that I have this cloud of chaos that follows me around.
But I'm not choosing that line of thinking. And I don't choose that line of thinking in business anymore, either. But it's so natural to feel that way in business, and there are several occurrences and states that can lead to quitting, or stuckness, or sub-optimal results.
Maybe you're cruising along on a high. And then, a client says no, and you feel plunged into the depths of doubt. Or, at a different point in your business, you have a launch that didn't do as well. And then, you're plunged into the depths of doubt.
So, I wanted to take this moment to talk about what can go wrong. Not only so that you can move through those periods and have a bigger perspective. But because so often, when we do see some sort of obstacle in our path, we slip into the thinking that once that obstacle is over and passed, it will be full steam ahead. But that is never the case.
There's another, and then there's another, and then there's another, and then there's another. And that is why entrepreneurship is the greatest personal development journey on the planet. I would give up all the money, just for who I've become over these last years.
And, I know that my suffering would have been greatly decreased, if I'd had somebody to say, “Hey, these are the things that tend to happen. And then, these are the things that tend to happen. And then, these are the things that tend to happen.”
Because with that sense of expectation, just like in an earlier episode, how I mentioned soldiers do so well in battle, because they have the expectation that they're going to be shot at. And, they have the muscle memory of having practiced that situation beforehand, over and over. And then, they can deal with it and move through it, in a way that you and I can hardly even fathom.
This is what's possible for us if we have someone saying, “Here are some things that can tend to happen next. Don't worry, we're going to move through them. Here are just a few ways that can happen.”
Now, I'm speaking about this because I was this person. In the beginning, I thought once I got clear on my business, watch out world. And I realized later, that's what so many high performers think. It's because we have a pattern of climbing the ladder, and making things happen, and excelling. And I would see this, when I would offer to help people to get clear, so that they would be in a better position to consider hiring me as their business coach.
And in the beginning, what people were saying was, “Oh, thank you, this has been amazing. Now I got it, I'm good.” Now, me being years ahead of them, knew that they had so much still, that they didn't even know they didn't know. But they had no way of knowing that, because they've never lived through it.
So, I had to change the delivery of my conversation to include that, so that then, they would also see the value of having a business coach throughout the next steps. Because entrepreneurship is quite a different animal than anything you've excelled at before.
And this is so important when you're bringing in your own clients, whether that's one-on-one or group, is to really understand their psychology, what they think the problem and solution is. So, for instance, me and the people I was then helping later, thought the solution was to get clear, and then they'd be able to build their business.
Later, I needed to understand that that's what they think the solution is, so that I could help them understand the full solution, and then see how my offer was perfect value add for that. So, as I mentioned, there's unclear, right? When you're unclear, then you're not going to be moving forward in your business.
And usually, people breeze through this in my program, in the Clarity Accelerator, the phase one of know yourself, because when you get to the point of committing to clarity, and you put down your money and time, and you're obviously going through a proven system that's designed to reveal what's been there for you anyway, your brain will be like; Okay, here you go.
But before entering the Clarity Accelerator, people can stay unclear for a long time; I certainly did. And it is possible to continue being unclear as you go forward in your business, which happened with me. And even in the beginning stages of the Clarity Accelerator, because your brain has a habit of being unclear.
So, I had a client that was trying to get clear on her niche and we'd have an amazing conversation ,and she would be like; yes, this connects the dots. I get it. I'm so excited. And then, when I talked to her a week later, she again would say, “I just don't know. I don't know what I'm doing. I want to talk about this again.”
And the first time, I assumed that she had changed her mind, that she did not want to work with those people, and I was willing to go with it. But the next week it happened again. And so finally I said, “Is it that you've changed your mind? Or, do you not remember what we talked about on that other call?”
And she honestly didn't remember, I had to have her go back and watch the replay. And this is what our brains do, they will obscure the clarity from us. And so, that brain pattern led to two to three weeks of inaction until we were finally able to resolve what was going on.
Now, once people do get clear, they can get into the quitting and stuckness type energy, when they really don't want to talk to potential clients. Which is so ironic, because time after time, this is what shifts everything. When you're in the phase two, ‘know your people’, of work in the Clarity Accelerator, this is when people naturally become so lit up.
Then, I was just talking to someone yesterday on a Clarity Collective call, who said, “Once I finally did that, now, I've just been like on fire revamping my website. It's such a different energy. I'm so much more happy with it, just by having that connection with those people, and really understanding who my people really are, and how they really think.”
Another, I remember I had a client that really was having trouble taking action. It was like a complete nervous system shutdown. And yet, as soon as she started speaking to her people, she was so excited. And she started telling me, I couldn't even believe week after week, she was telling me all of the things that she had accomplished in that week.
Because now it seemed so real to her. Now, she knew she could help them. Now, she had that clarity, and was just getting the things done in order to make it happen, rather than believing that it really wasn't ever going to happen for her.
But later, maybe you have that clarity, and you just don't want to post, you really don't want to be visible. Later on, maybe you don't want to make offers. You don't really want sales calls, you're really afraid of conducting a sales call. Or, you're okay with a sales call itself, but you don't really want clients, because then you feel like you have to deliver results. And it's so much stress, that deep down, you just don't want to deal with it.
Like I said, there can be these times where you're just not feeling motivated or inspired to take action. Or, you're taking tons of action, but it's the easy actions for you that don't bring discomfort. Like, I adore learning, so I used to consume webinars like I was popping candy, in this stage. Or, you are taking some scary actions, but really fueled from a place of desperation. And so, you end up just feeling so burnt out.
And then, of course, there are life events. I've seen it time and time again, that so often, when people decide to take a definitive leap forward in their business, something happens in their life that makes them question whether now is really the time to be doing that, after all. All of these are very normal, very common, most people go through them.
Then, there are also the situations that bring sub-optimal performance. It's interesting, I think it was on Netflix®, I was watching Serena Williams’ coach talk about coaching her, and how the first time they had a meeting he told her that he thought she was playing sub-optimally, or below her potential, something like that.
And, she was already like the top player in the world. Her mouth just dropped open. But he could see what she was really capable of. And this is what happens with so many of us. We're not even scratching the surface of what we could really be doing, how quickly we could really be growing our business. And, we do it in the subtle ways.
Like, we don't really want to bring on too many clients, it's just going to be too overwhelming, we're going to burn out. Or, we're not going to be able to give them the personal attention that they need, in order to get the results. And then, we'll feel terrible about ourselves.
We don't want to earn too much money. Yeah, it's true; this is a big thing. When you're starting out, you can say, I can't wait to make six figures. But do you know how many people really have issues about making that kind of money, or even more money? Earning any money in your own business is actually much harder than earning money in a job. Because in a job you don't always love it, it's expected of you, and you feel like you're earning that money.
But then, all of a sudden, you don't have a boss. You're not putting up with all of the office politics. You're not even commuting. You're doing work that you love, and you're bringing in money? It just seems too good. It really messes with our nervous system; something just doesn't feel right. Sometimes we don't want things to be too easy. Maybe we have stories about the kinds of people for whom things come easily; that they're entitled, that they lose touch with reality, I had tons of those. But there can also be a work addiction or a work set-point, where it just feels very uncomfortable to take time off.
I've been doing this work myself in a mastermind, where we have a goal of creating a 15-hour workweek. And, it is very uncomfortable to slow down. Your brain wants to be doing, to create the illusion of control.
So, a great analogy is; when you're used to driving a stick shift car, and you're doing things all the time. And then, you switch to an automatic, and you're really just sitting there, it feels so uncomfortable. Like, unsafe to be in that car because you're not doing enough. Some of you might have experienced this, too. If you're sitting in the passenger seat, or you're sitting in the back, it just feels like if you're driving, then you have the control.
So, we really don't want things to be too easy. And, in doing that we hold back our business. Easy, really is where creativity comes from; moments of ease, and rest, and/or healthy stress as opposed to debilitating stress and long-term, chronic work.
Sometimes we get into places where we don't want to make changes. Things are going so well in our business, we're worried that maybe it was a fluke, or we don't want to break anything. I had that with Google® for a while, I was doing so well with my SEO on Google, that even though my copy wasn't really speaking to where I had evolved to, with the people that I wanted to bring in, I was afraid to change that copy.
And when you're carrying that level of insecurity and fearfulness, you're always holding yourself back, just by not taking the risk and pushing yourself, you're not seeing what's possible.
Now, there are times where we do change. And then, we have to relearn selling to maybe that group of people. Or, you have to learn some aspect of how to make that new type of business successful, and there is a lag in your results. And then, you get into this energy of; maybe I should just go back to what I was doing.
It's happened so frequently with people that try to raise their prices, and they don't like the results they're seeing in the beginning, so then they go back to their old pricing. They're really undermining their revenue potential. Or, they're moving into group launches, and they're not seeing the results that they want. And so, they slide back into one-to-one, not from the cleanest place and therefore, those sales can also suffer.
And just to let you know, all of the things I've just talked about, present with very clever reasons; our brains are very smart. Only the most self-aware people can say, “I realize I don't want more clients. And, I'm not bringing on clients.” Normally, how they'll see it, is; it's not working, I'm doing all the things and it's not working.
Because if your brain can convince you to go buy a different program, or move to a different coach, or learn some new miracle tactic, what happens? You move back into your comfort zone, where you're learning again, where you're taking your time to figure that out. You start thinking thoughts that make you feel hopeful, but not doing the scary thing.
I remember, very clearly, there was a time I was feeling so burned out. And this offer floated across my feed; to learn to create really small offers for people, that would then, create so much revenue for your business. Be so easy. You wouldn't be interacting with people; you'd just be running ads. And it would naturally, bring people through a funnel, that would then sign up for very premium one-to-one coaching.
And, I invested $10,000, which at the time was the most I had spent for just a couple months of coaching, in order to learn how to do this. Even though I had a coach at the time, who was able to tell me why that wasn't a good idea. Why it really didn't work for people at my stage in business. And guess what? It didn't work for me at that stage.
But if your brain can convince you to do this enough, ultimately, you've blown so much time and money without results, that maybe it can get you to quit. Or, maybe it can get you used to that status quo, and get you thinking; well, I guess this is just how things are. And never really go make the splash, and own your worth, and create the massively successful business that you are here to create.
So, what do you do about all of those things that can go wrong? I could list out each one and say, here's what we do in this situation, here's what we do in this one. But hold tight; are you ready? None of these are about the specific situation. It's actually very simple.
These are all manifestations of some aspect of the same thing. A clarity gap, of course, right? There's a gap in clarity between the reality of what's possible, and that brain tick, or that brain pattern, or that brain malfunction, that is keeping you from it.
There's some lack of clarity between what seems like is happening, and what's really happening. And that's why my coaching philosophy is always to start with the simplest solutions, and then move up the ladder of complexity. Because we're interested in the quickest results. But sometimes we need the most profound results.
And I just watch my clients to see what they do with the coaching; if it really landed, how that actually affects their results. And then, I use my intuition to move into the next stage, if necessary. So, what is the very simplest form of creating mental change? It's the thought reversal. It's what they call “reframing”, in cognitive behavioral therapy.
So, I will often just tell my clients what they don't yet know, and how they might want to choose to view the situation, rather than leading them through a series of questions that I hope will bring them to the answer I want them to see as possible for them.
And there are so many lines of coaching, where they believe that you should really only ever ask questions, and do very minimal teaching. And I know, that really used to annoy the hell out of me when I was starting in business. I really wanted somebody to just give it to me straight, so that I could expedite my growth. And, I've always had this bias.
My father was famous for using the Socratic method with me. And it used to drive me crazy. I remember once, I was on a road trip with him, and I was five or six. And, we had maybe a three-hour road trip. And I very innocently asked, “Daddy, why is it hotter inside the car when we get into it, after we've been stopped, than it is outside the car?”
And would you believe this dude made me spend the next three hours trying to figure out the greenhouse effect, when I was six? You can hear this unresolved trauma, right? The point is, a good thought reversal can get you to where you're going so beautifully, in so many situations.
So, you've been thinking of it this way. But actually, it could be this. And here's why. So, you may be thinking that a sales call is salesy, and horrible, and manipulative. But you could also think that it is a win-win, regardless of what happens at the end of the call. That just by asking them these questions, they are going to learn so much more about themselves, and see their situation so much more clearly, than they ever have.
And you, in turn, will learn so much about your people, and how they think and talk. And it's such a divine appointment between two souls, that regardless of what happens, you're both so much better for it. And, that you would never need to convince the right person to work with you. If it's meant for you, it will not pass you by.
Now, I could tell someone that, or I could try and ask them their way into that type of thinking. Let me give you another example of starting with something very, very simple. So, once I had a client who was really feeling a lot of stuck energy and low motivation, and really didn't want to take action.
And you know, the first thing I suggested for her? Was to get into her body. Was, as soon as she felt that energy, to get up; stand up from her desk and go for a walk or move her body. Because she's a lot like me. She's the kind of person that just has incredible willpower, and will just sit there and try and brute force her way through something, rather than allowing and receiving what she needs in that moment.
Now, sometimes, those aren't going to be effective. Those simple solutions aren't going to be effective. Why? Because there's some thought or belief in the way, that’s far more entrenched and hidden. That's when we have to move up the ladder, and really start talking about unaddressed fears.
But sometimes, you realize, you get to the point where you realize what that fear is, and really, nothing’s seeming to clear it. And that's when we need to go back, often to childhood, and really start to heal that inner child. And learn how to process and integrate those feelings, so that they release their power over us.
This is the most beautiful and life affirming work that you can do, is when you can really start to understand that not only are your thoughts not you, necessarily, they're just thoughts. But guess what? Your feelings aren't really you, they're your feelings. And there is a higher-self version of you, that is free from those and that you can align with.
And all of those feelings and thoughts can come along with you, and should come along with you, because they're there to keep you safe. But they don't have to be in the driver's seat. And sometimes, all it takes is one time, getting clear on that initial childhood event that started to spark that defense mechanism, and to really see it for what it is, from the perspective you have now. And, it instantly clears up the problem you've been having.
I remember when I was having difficulty with sales calls. And I do remember thinking that it felt like such a power play. It felt like, when I sat down with a person, they had all the power; they could make or break, whether or not I was going to receive the revenue. And, I was just powerless to whatever they were going to say.
And then, once the money was exchanged, I became the one with all the power. Then, I was the coach with all the knowledge and was sort of, I don't know, magnanimously doing this favor for them. When I really worked back, to the first time that I remembered feeling this way, the whole idea about power and the extreme vulnerability of not having power, and the drive to have power came from childhood events.
And once I saw that, and saw that that was not the reality now, it changed everything. I removed the power play completely from the equation of sales conversations, and really started to believe it and just see it as a co-creative experience.
When I get onto a call with somebody. ever since then, I don't know what we're going to create together. I don't know what they're going to learn from me. And I don't know what I'm going to learn from them. There are times when I am coaching, and also on sales calls, where I am so tuned in to helping that person, that I don't even know where I download this information from.
And I find it so profound for myself, for whatever I'm going through in that moment. And I'm so grateful to the person sitting in front of me, who helped me bring forth that information. That whole process would have taken so much longer if I were trying to think my way into better thoughts, rather than having that revelation about my childhood, that just made everything disintegrate in a snap.
But sometimes we do need to do the work of building belief and thinking our way into better thoughts. And I will know, as a coach, that that's necessary, when the other things that I've just talked about have not proved to work. That's when I know that there's a habit, a repeated thought or repeated way of thinking and moving through, that simply needs reprogramming.
And luckily, I am an expert in building new beliefs. And I think it is the most important skill for any human to learn. I think it's what we should be teaching in elementary school, because this is how we shape our reality. This is how we get outside of our primal brains, and create that future that our inner visionary sees for us.
So, for all the times in your business, that will happen so many times, up to 100,000 and beyond 100,000. If you're feeling in a negative slump, or you just have the feeling that you're performing sub-optimally, just knowing that that is completely normal and is going to happen, will help you move through it.
And you have other tools now, such as finding those thought reversals for yourself; how else could I think of this? Going out and asking people that have gone before you how they think of it. Thinking through what you really need in that moment, maybe it is moving your body.
Understanding your beliefs and your thoughts. See what's really going on. Thinking back to times where you first felt that way, that might illuminate why you're thinking that way now. And just doing the work of building new beliefs.
All of these tools are available to you, and you should avail yourself of them. Because you will have very successful business, if you just don't quit. And you will get there sooner rather than later, if you minimize these periods, these lulls.
Luckily, if you have a coach, you don't always have to be thinking about which method you should be using for yourself. Although, of course, you can; self-coaching is a beautiful thing. But so is relying on your coach for their perspective.
I believe, so profoundly, that nobody should have to do this alone. That there is no glory in doing it without support. Case in point; how long it would have taken me to figure out this car situation, rather than relying on the kindness of a stranger? Who got the problem solved for me in less than 30 minutes.
So often, as women, we've become so attached to doing something on our own and not needing to rely on anyone, because we don't want to be that. We want to be independent; we want to be strong. We want to not take up too much of the family's resources. And yet, there's something truly beautiful about women helping women.
And that interaction of; you're giving me a hand up, and I'm giving you a hand up, and together, we have this rising tide.
All right, my friends. I wish you a wonderful week. And remember deep down, you know who you are. And, every day you're getting closer to what you're here to create.
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