Ep# 90: Meditation for Bringing Spring Vitality Into Your Business (Usher In Business and Personal Growth and New Results)

Episode Summary

Have you ever felt the surge of energy as spring breathes life into nature?

Imagine channelling that same revitalizing force into your business and life. As you witness the transformation around you, consider how this season's energy can propel your entrepreneurial journey forward.

This episode offers a unique meditation on tapping into spring's vibrancy and applying it to your mindset and strategies, fostering newfound clarity and momentum in your endeavors.

In this podcast episode, you will:

1) Gain a refreshed perspective: Learn to attune yourself to the natural energy of spring, gaining insight and inspiration for your business and personal growth.

2) Enhance clarity and focus: Through guided meditation, discover techniques to ground yourself, release negativity, show up more powerfully and unlock your inner guidance, fostering a clearer vision for your path.

3) Accelerate progress: Experience firsthand the transformative power of aligning with spring's energy, gaining momentum towards achieving your goals and manifesting abundance in your business and life.

Ready to infuse your business with the energy of spring?

Listen to the episode now and embark on a journey of clarity, revitalization, and abundant growth.

Do you feel called to ignite untapped superpowers and join a community of like-minded women committed to extraordinary growth and success? 

Click the link in the show notes to join the Power & Potency waitlist and lean into your uncommonly successful future.

Leave a voicemail for Jenna:

https://www.theuncommonway.com/talk

Sign up here to get on the waitlist for Power & Potency and hear all new information as it's released:

https://www.theuncommonway.com/waitlist

Schedule a call with Jenna to talk about joining the Clarity Accelerator to dial in the pieces of your successful business and first-rate mindset (the precursor for Power & Potency).

https://www.theuncommonway.com/schedule   

Links mentioned:

Ep #36: How to Harness Spring Energy for Your Business (theuncommonway.com)

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Full Episode Transcript:

90. Meditation for Bringing Spring Vitality Into Your Business (Usher In Business and Personal Growth and New Results) [00:00:00] Behind the scenes, all the trees and bushes have been orchestrating the onslaught of leaves and flowers and berries that are about to burst forth into your vision. And that has all been going on for a while now. Regardless of whether you can see it or not, the exact same thing is happening in your life and business. And I want to help you harness and amplify and also just play with that spring energy. So stick around, we're going to ride that wave. I'll show you how. You're listening to the Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast. The podcast that helps women entrepreneurs get clear on signature offers and strategies that sell themselves, so you can lean back and stop the hustle. You will learn to maximize your mindset, messaging and strategy and step into the uncommonly successful business. And life you are creating. Here's your host, top [00:01:00] ranked business coach and reformed over analyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison. Hey, welcome back to the Uncommon Way. I have something a little different for you today. It's a meditation to help you tap into this spring energy that's all around us in the Northern Hemisphere and really bring that into your business to start seeing different results. Now, that concept might be a little out there for some of you, but you never know, right? And I know that for me and many of the people I know, meditations like this, if nothing else, really help us focus our thoughts for the day and step forward more confidently and show up more powerfully. And who couldn't use a little more of that? So I recommend that you do listen to it for seven [00:02:00] days or so just to get the compound effects. And to let you know, this is a replay of an episode that we did last year. And in that episode, I spent a lot more time in the beginning talking about how it shows up in our business when we're kind of in winter, where we're not quite seeing the results yet, even though there might be so much happening. beneath the scenes, or underground, however you want to think about it, and what that kind of feels like and looks like, and some actual steps to take to start changing things. So if you're interested, go back and listen to that one. It is episode 36, and we'll link to it in the show notes. But I want to keep this episode short and just say one quick thing, which is my what a difference a year makes. Because when we released this a year ago, Ben and I were going to North Carolina to [00:03:00] test out different cities to live in and to make our home. And I was feeling so excited and so anxious to move on with that next phase in our life. We have found a new city, but it ain't in North Carolina. It's in Mallorca, Spain, where we'll be moving this summer. But I am now feeling A lot of nostalgia. I'm literally looking around me and looking up at the oak and the sycamore trees and the bare branches and the gray sky and thinking, Oh, I'm not going to see that next year. And I'm not going to see my mom's cozy house that I can go over to once a week in the evening and we can watch a girly movie. And there are so many other little things. lovable things about this place that we've called home for the last four years. And , I'm feeling a lot of heart pangs. So I think for me, , this meditation will also be wonderful just to, you know, really [00:04:00] help me orient my thoughts to the future. And I hope it will be wildly helpful for you too. Enjoy. Hey, if you're a coach who wants true clarity about your secret sauce, your people, your best way of doing business, and how you talk about your offer, then I invite you to join us in the Clarity Accelerator. I'll teach you to connect all the dots. The dots that have always been there for you. So that you can show up like you were born for exactly this. Come join us and supercharge every other tool or tactic you'll ever learn. From Facebook ads to manifestation. Just go to theuncommonway. com slash schedule and set up a time to talk. I can't wait to be your coach. Okay, you want to practice all this? I recommend going outside, or listen now, but then revisit this later when you can go outside. Bring a journal, or you can take notes on your phone or into a voice recorder, but don't actually take the notes during the [00:05:00] practice, do so afterwards. You can write down whatever you noticed, or anything that was revealed to you. Okay, my friend. Sit down on the ground. Maybe find a spot under a tree, somewhere in front of a beautiful view, something that feels comfy. Now, if sitting is uncomfortable for you, just lay down on the ground. What we want is for your body to be in contact with the earth. And now just take a few deep breaths and longer exhales. Feel your body sinking into the earth and being supported by the earth. And now tune into the energy of the earth itself. There's a vibration there that is very grounded, steady, and also nurturing. for joining. And feel that moving up through your body. And now imagine that within you, you had a little seed or bulb or bud, however you want to imagine it, [00:06:00] right in the center of your chest. Imagine a little sprout coming from there, a little tendril, and it was moving down through your body and into the earth and forming roots. Feel those roots going deeper and deeper, grounding you into the earth, and just scan your body and notice if there are any qualities that are maybe anxious or heavy. And with each exhale, release all of this anxious energy into the earth and imagine yourself as just a tiny speck on this great green and blue ball in this moment in time And when your nervous energy is delivered, it's just so inconsequential compared to the earth, relative to the earth, that it's just absorbed. It dissipates and [00:07:00] disappears into this really rich, fertile soil or rock. And as you're inhaling, especially if you feel a heavier or a lethargic energy, imagine inhaling, that nourishment, that vitality. That is our planet. So just notice this for a few rounds of your inhales and exhales and feel yourself stabilize and then I want you to attune to this springtime energy that we've talked about. What is actually happening in the trees and the bushes underneath our feet, between the bunnies and the ducks, that momentum. Tune into the quality of that energy. What does that feel like? Maybe it feels like a wave or a tingling on the outside of your limbs. Maybe it feels like momentum [00:08:00] swelling underneath you and carrying you forward. Just get curious about how you perceive that. And next, I want you to ask your energy to turn on so that you can feel it. You felt the earth energy? You felt the spring energy, what is yours, what does your energy feel like, your highest self? How are you feeling that in your body in this moment? Is there a place for it, a color for it, a movement, a sensation? What does that feel like when it is turned on, when the volume is increased? And now from the interplay of these very powerful energies, you can kind of imagine them maybe swirling around, playing with each other. These three powerful energies of the earth, the spring, and [00:09:00] you, my friend. From there, I want you to ask for guidance from maybe your higher self, be your inner visionary. Add the universe, your board of directors, however you think of it, wherever you glean your wisdom from, just ask, what do you need to plant, to nourish, to wait for, or to envision at this moment, right now with this spring energy that will facilitate the most potent use of this time, of this energy, to deliver your future harvest. There's no right or wrong here, and there's no linear time here. This guidance may come to you now, it may come to you later. Just opening. This is one of the few moments in our modern world [00:10:00] where we can let our energy and our intuition lead instead of our mind, just to help balance out all of our powers. Alright, my friends. If this has been helpful for you to tap into this energy, to receive guidance, or even just ground yourself and give your nervous system a reset. You have just experienced a small part of what happens inside the Clarity Collective that accelerates the process of you becoming your future you. To experience that acceleration yourself, you can join us in the Clarity Accelerator, or you can join me for private coaching. Either avenue brings you into the larger clarity collective. Consider this your invite. Okay. I am cheering you on as you ride this wave of spring energy into tremendous [00:11:00] revitalization and the resulting abundant harvest in your business and life. Remember, deep down, you know who you are and each day you're stepping further into what you're here to create. Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity First strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit TheUncommonWay. com. See you next time. ​

Ep #89: Introducing: Power & Potency (The Mastermind for Accomplished Women Entrepreneurs Who Want to See How Good It Can Get)

Episode Summary

Are you looking to take your power to an even more extraordinary level and find out just how good your business and life can get?

In this episode, Jenna Harrison introduces her newest offer, Power & Potency, a mastermind experience designed to help accomplished women entrepreneurs elevate what they're capable of to mastery level.

Discover how this unique opportunity can propel you forward, even if you're already near the top of your game.

In this podcast episode you will:

1) Gain insight into what sets the Power & Potency mastermind apart from other offers, and learn who it's designed for and who it isn't.

2) Understand how joining Power and Potency can provide you with the tools, support, and community you need to maximize your impact, scale your business, and create a life of abundance, ease and joy.

3) Discover the options available to you, whether it's diving into the Clarity Accelerator to successfully dial in the pieces of your business and mindset, or joining the Power & Potency waitlist to embark on a journey of otherworldly success.

Do you feel called to ignite untapped superpowers and join a community of like-minded women committed to extraordinary growth and success? 

Click the link in the show notes to join the Power & Potency waitlist and lean into your uncommonly successful future.

Leave a voicemail for Jenna:

https://www.theuncommonway.com/talk

Sign up here to get on the waitlist for Power & Potency and hear all new information as its released:

https://www.theuncommonway.com/waitlist

Schedule a call with Jenna to talk about joining the Clarity Accelerator to dial in the pieces of your successful business and first-rate mindset.

https://www.theuncommonway.com/schedule   

Links mentioned:

Should I Say Yes or Should I Say No (Tapping Into Intuition)

https://www.theuncommonway.com/32

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/32-should-i-say-yes-or-should-i-say-no-tapping-into-intuition/id1635447772?i=1000600299969

Listen to the Full Episode:

Enjoy the Show?

Don’t miss an episode, follow the podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or Google Podcasts.

Full Episode Transcript:

It's a great name, isn't it? Tanalizing, even. And the fact that the name, power and potency gets such a positive reaction shows me just how needed this new offer is in the world. I can't wait to tell you about it. You're listening to the Uncommon Way business and Life coaching podcast podcast. The podcast that helps women entrepreneurs get clear on signature offers and strategies that sell themselves so you can lean back and stop the hustle. You will learn to maximize your mindset, messaging and strategy and step into the uncommonly successful business and life you are creating. Here's your host. Top ranked business coach and reformed overanalyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison. Welcome. Welcome back to the uncommon way. I am so happy to be here with you today and to be telling you about our newest offer. Now, in the last episode, I described an experience I had where my business basically took over and told me in no uncertain terms that an offer I had been sitting on for years was ready to be birthed. Now, it didn't care what my mind had to say about it not being the right time, so I listened. Because I've done enough of this work to know when these hits come from a pure place rather than from a sneaky siren part of my brain reacting to something or avoiding something else. Now, if you don't have this clear for yourself, you have got to listen to episode 32 about how to tap into your intuition. So you can go to theuncommonway.com 32 or just click the link in the show notes. But today we're not really talking about intuition. Not really. Today is the birth announcement for power and potency, an extremely elevated mastermind experience that I am excited to share with the world. In this episode, I'm going to let you know what makes this offer so different from anything else out there, who this is for, who it isn't for, and what to do if you need to get from A to B. Because you know you eventually belong in this mastermind and how you can find out more if you're getting the hit that this is your next right step. But first, did you know that you don't even have to wait to get coached by me right now? You can leave me a voicemail telling me what's going on with your business and what you need help with. And if yours is selected, I will create an entire podcast for you, for you, and for everyone else that's having the same issue. Of course, I'll give you the straight up tactical and mindset tips that I would give a client in a similar situation, plus one other tip that might just seem a little out there, but that's okay because you never know, right? So do not even hesitate on this. Open yourself up to finding exactly what you need. All you'll have to do is click the link in the episode notes or head straight to theuncommonway.com. Talk. That's talk. And hey, you could also leave me a message with general questions or suggestions. Anything except ads for services. But I would love to hear from you, and I hope you will take me up on this. Now let's get us some more power and potency, shall we? As the name suggests, this is where we practice wielding our superpowers at mastery level. As if you were a sorceress who was playing with how good can this get? And you wanted to play in the company of other women, equally powerful, who could inspire you to stretch further, to question what's possible even more, to allow that much more ease, to harness that much more power to scale those heights. Yes, my friend, even those. Because here's what I've realized. We, meaning women, will not be able to really fully lean into living our own uncommon way unless we have a vehicle, a structure to support us. Because the women I work with aren't choosing to live a forager lifestyle out in the woods with no dependence on the modern world. Quite the contrary, we want to experience everything that life has to offer without limits. So yes to first class flights to the amazing hotel, hopefully it also has environmental impact mitigation baked into its core, and it's giving back to the culture and surroundings. But we're saying yes to things that cost a lot of money and yes to things that cost nothing at all. To taking breaks and creating space to actually not think, rather than being tied to a timetable just in order to earn what we need. And for that, you need a business. And that's what I have dedicated myself to for years now. Helping women establish and grow businesses that can support a family that do allow you to set your own schedule and love the clients you work with and be your own boss. Where we combine smart business sense with the felt sense of working in our zones of genius, with a clear plan and roadmap, with the most rigorous mindset training in the world. So we are as calm, confident and collected in how we show up in the world and regulate our emotions and nervous systems. As calm and confident there as we are, clear, concise, and yet unattached in our messaging and in the outward face of our business. And those are beautiful things that alone changes lives in huge and unexpected ways. Because once a woman realizes she can do that, what can't she do? Who can't she be? And I have watched the world change in wild and wonderfully uncommon ways as my clients step into their power and as they accelerate their accomplishments. And I've seen that it's not just my clients lives, but it's their clients lives and their family's lives and their friends lives. Because this new way of living is fucking contagious, as it should be. There is no room in our future for the old, stale, stuck ways. But there comes a point where you've built the business. You know how to manage your mind and emotions like a pro. You've tapped into how powerful you are, and you realize your only limits are what you're not thinking or imagining yet. And then what? And then you look around and you realize you're on rarefied ground. There aren't a whole lot of women playing at your level, even if some of them are making as much as you, or even more than you. Many are still living in old patterns of hustle and scarcity. And sure, all high performers can cycle through that. Sometimes we're humans with high expectations, but it seems that much of the world doesn't realize they're in it. Some stay there and they compromise values or health or connection, but you are not willing to compromise. And that can feel achingly lonely, because you know you're not done. You still want to grow. Your growth is never done. You want mastery level, and maybe some new things you've never even thought of or tools you've never even heard about. Maybe some woo concepts. Sure, if they're going to help you step more into who you're becoming and the life you're creating. You are open, and you want all this in the presence of other similar women. Because you know from experience that it not only feels amazing to have strong women in your corner who can inspire and mentor and support you, but that the hive brain always accelerates evolution unlike anything else. That the sum really is greater than its parts. My friend. If this is you, then you will have found home in the power and potency mastermind. It is a select group of accomplished entrepreneurs who have what they need. They have the seven figure business, or the business with the clear path to seven figures. And now it's really about what you want. You want to see how good it can get. Like I said, how great is your impact? How disruptive is your thought leadership? How easeful can your business be? How joyful is your life. How can you lean back, flick your wrist, and all of this power that you have been cultivating merges with the power you're now accessing, and they swirl together out through your hand to become manifest in the world. This is a group where you get to be whoever you want to be. Nobody's going to raise an eyebrow at the goals or dreams that you talk about or about the way you're choosing to build it. Is this a moment where you're getting tactical and saying, hey, y'all, how did you scale out that team and call in such talent? Or what possibilities are you seeing for a next offer for me that I haven't considered? That's perfect. But maybe it's a moment where you've realized part of you is deeply afraid of loosening the grip of control that has kept you successful until now. And you want firsthand stories from your sisters about times that they have successfully let go and then realized they could fly. So how did they think about it? What was the final step that had them taking the leap? Or maybe, like I alluded to earlier, you want to talk about something a little woo. How you've been noticing this happening just the way you dreamed it, and it just can't be coincidence. And nobody's going to roll their eyes. People outside might. They might roll their eyes at lots of things. Our decisions, our actions, our dreams. They can call us crazy. I don't care. All genius needs some crazy. And in some future not too far away, they'll call it normal. I've seen it time and time again. Crazy just means not understood. So let's declare that this is possible, that life can be this. That I can do it my way, that all of my creation starts with me thinking it. And then let's put this all into practice. Together in this incubator called power and potency. We'll have in person retreats at the most divine locations around the world, probably starting with Majorca, my new home. But that is to be decided. We will have guides and experts at the top of their game coming to help us stretch beyond whatever feels available to us in that moment. And we'll become more powerful while our work becomes more potent in tandem with all of our amazing peers. Again, this is for you. If you have the established business, you value your life outside of business and have taken strides towards wellness and cultivating joy and pleasure. And you've built your resiliency and your mind management in a way that lets you both care for your emotional well being, but also step out of reactionary patterns that don't serve you and then get back in the game quickly and with fluidity. This type of environment is incredibly unique. There are very few women entrepreneurs that are producing at this level, let alone joining together with these kinds of values and focus. We're focusing not just on accruing more money or not just on developing a certain skill, but on the totality of the yes. And how much ease, power, joy, wealth, love, health, impact, success unabashedly. Can we call to us now? There might be some of you who are thinking, Jenna, this sounds amazing. It's what I have been longing for. But when you were talking about the qualifications, I realized I still have some room to grow. Well, congrats, my friend, because that clarity is priceless. You need to know what you need to work on in order to get where you want to go. And great news. I have just the way to help you get there. You can join us in the clarity accelerator now and get those pieces dialed in. There has never been a better time to join. Plus, now you have the added incentive of being able to set your sights on power and potency. I love, love, love the simplicity of my two offers. Now I hope you do as well. First, you need to build the structure, the thing. You need the vehicle that can help you create this life. And you'll get all of those tools and wisdom in the clarity accelerator and be able to put this into practice, creating a hyper aligned and hyper successful business mindset and life. And then you get to move on to play in real time. I thought of this as a video game in the beginning. Maybe you choose your avatar, you choose a couple superpowers, and the game walks you through. Okay, here's how you move your character. Right here are the different things you can do. There's a certain sense of having the training wheels on, and you probably have a practice round, and that's where you build that confidence, and you're like, yeah, I got this. I see how it works. And when you're done with that, are you ready to play? To play the game where you never really win? You're just playing to see how far you can go and beating your own high score just because you love the game. If you're there, then strap in, because shit's getting real in power and potency. We are taking off the bumpers and the guardrails, and we are going for it. So at this point, you have two options. Which one is right for you. If it's the clarity accelerator, sign up for a roadmap call with me. Go to theuncommonway.com schedule. The link is in our notes and we will hop on a 90 minutes call to get you fully prepared for that experience. If power and potency is calling you, then head to theuncommonway.com waitlist waitlist and get on that list so you don't miss any details and you will be the first to know when applications open again. That's theuncommonway.com waitlist. The link is in the show notes. Go ahead and hop over there right now. Okay my friend, thank you for being here. It has been a joy as always. And remember, you know who you are and each day you're stepping further into what you're here to create. I'll see you next time. Thanks for joining us here at the uncommon way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the clarity first strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit theuncommonway.com. See you next time.

Ep #88: Massive Business Growth Requires Blowing Everything Up (BTS Of Our Reinvention & Why You Need It Too As A Woman Entrepreneur)

Episode Summary

Are you longing to move into the next level of your business, but it's happening slower than you'd like?

What if reinvention is the key to unlocking your next level of success and abundance?

In this episode of The Uncommon Way, Jenna Harrison shares her journey of reinvention and how it relates to your path to success.

Whether you're a seasoned entrepreneur looking to scale your business or just starting on your entrepreneurial journey, understanding the power of reinvention can help you break free from old patterns and achieve your goals with clarity and confidence.

In this podcast episode, you will:

1. Understand why reinvention is essential for personal and professional growth.

2. Learn practical steps to kickstart your reinvention journey.

3. Discover how to recognise the signs that now is the right time for change in your life or business.

Don't miss out on the opportunity to transform your business and life. Tune in to the episode now and start your journey of reinvention today.

More From The Uncommon Way

To leave me a question or send me a message, please visit, 

https://www.theuncommonway.com/talk

George Carlin’s American Dream (documentary)

https://www.hbo.com/george-carlins-american-dream

Interviews with Kat:

https://www.theuncommonway.com/26

https://www.theuncommonway.com/56

Interview with Gabi:

https://www.theuncommonway.com/69 

Listen to the Full Episode:

Enjoy the Show?

Don’t miss an episode, follow the podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or Google Podcasts.

Full Episode Transcript:

There is no change without growth. That's why myth after myth follows the basic storyline of the Phoenix who sets fire to its nest so that a new Phoenix can arise from the ashes. Right now at the uncommon way, we are going through a reinvention like this. And it's probably exactly what you need, too. If you truly want to reach your next level of success and abundance. You're listening to the uncommon way business and life coaching podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life. By prioritizing your clarity and your own uncommon way, you will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top ranked business coach and reformed overanalyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison. Hello my friend. Welcome back to the uncommon way. Strange and wonderful things are happening here. We are shaking everything up. We are reinventing the business, reinventing our programs, our branding, and before the dust has settled and of course, everything has been tied up in a perfect bow. And you can easily connect the dots between the business that was and the business that has arisen before all of that. Let's get real. Let me share the sense of vulnerability that happens in real time and also what I know to be true from working with client after client on this process. I'm going to walk you through it and help you get started on your own. If that's calling to you now, maybe you're just kind of curious or even fascinated by people who reinvent themselves in this way, and that might point to the fact that it's in your future as well. Or maybe you're just starting this wild journey of entrepreneurship and you are changing from somebody in a corporate environment who's bound by what is supposed to be, into what can be. Or maybe you've reached a milestone or plateau in your business and you know what got you here or won't get you there. Maybe you've been a solopreneur and now you'll need to scale your offers or bring on a team or create the agency. Or perhaps, like me, you are moved by intuition into something new for the sake of truer alignment. Or maybe you just feel over it, over the circumstances that repeat themselves. The same things you talk about, the actions you're stuck taking again and again. Whatever your reason for being here, I believe this episode is for you, and you were meant to hear this because all of the above means you yourself are likely headed towards reinvention. Whether you realize it or not, there is no growth without change and while some of us can spend years resisting this and can get caught up in a lot of scarcity and fear and even self recrimination when it's happening, maybe you find yourself saying things like why can't you commit to anything? And why can't you just be satisfied? What I found is that life is much richer on the other side because I have been through this before and I walk clients through it daily. So here is what I want to offer you. In this episode, I'll give you some perspective on why this is happening, why it needs to happen, why it's totally okay. I'll share how to kickstart your own reinvention and how to know if now is not the time to make changes. I'll be giving you a behind the scenes look at the exact moment I realized this was happening for me so you can more easily read the signs for yourself. Plus, I've got a few anecdotes from past reinventions of mine and my clients to help your brain build evidence that this is possible for you and safe to lean into this. And of course, as always, I will be weaving in my top tactical tip mindset tip and energetic tip as I do in every episode. But before we go there, I want to share the exciting news that I have found a new software that lets us talk to each other. And I'm so happy that rather than me just talking into the air here, well, actually into my closet, me and my clothes hanging out, talking about business and life, I'm really happy that we'll be able to talk directly. It's super simple the way it works. You just need to go to theuncommonway.com talk talk, theuncommonway.com talk and there you'll see how you can leave me a message. Now, what I would love for you to do is to let me know any question you have, any issue or problem in your business thing you're considering. And I'll be selecting some of these to feature on the podcast. And I will be sharing the tactical, the mindset and the energetic tip that I would give you if you were my client. So it's free coaching for you. It's a great inspiration for me. It really lets me know exactly what's going on for you so that I can continue to create content that really serves you. And since I'm a manifesting generator in human design, it allows me to respond to something specific, which is really a place of flow and great ease for me. So you're really doing me a favor and really feel free to ask me anything. Hey, if you want true clarity about your secret sauce, your people, your best way of doing business, and how you talk about your offer, then I invite you to join us in the clarity accelerator. I'll teach you to connect all the dots, the dots that have always been there for you so that you can show up like you were born for exactly this. Come join us and supercharge every other tool or tactic you'll ever learn, from Facebook ads to manifestation. Just go to theuncommonway.com slash schedule and set up a time to talk. I can't wait to be your coach. Okay, today I'd like to do something different and start with a story. And it's the story of the comedian George carlin. Now, if you don't know who he was, he was a very straight laced comic in the 50s because they all were back then. They all had the very nice manicured kind of greaseback hair, and they would wear a suit to every tv performance, and they'd do kind of these corny jokes that were really never offensive in any way. But what happened is that in the 60s, he made a radical departure. He grew out his hair. He started looking like a hippie. This is in the Vietnam era. And he started traveling college campuses so that he could say whatever he wanted to say. And many of his jokes and commentaries were political in nature, and they enraged his former fans. Oh, another good point to mention is that he and his wife had just purchased their first home. They really felt like they had made it, like he had arrived. He was earning more money than they ever could have imagined. They felt so safe and secure and set. But he knew that his art was changing, and he had to follow his truth. But guess what? His audience ended up growing. His wealth ended up growing. And then this happened again and again. And pretty much every time, he managed to offend and lose many members of his previous audience. And each time, his audience grew even bigger, his fame grew even stronger. His art and his craft grew even tighter. And of course, his wealth grew. His power grew. And that, my friends, is what happens when you lean into your alignment rather than letting your head talk you out of it. Because really, George Carlin was merely following a pattern, an archetype that has existed as long as humans have been interpreting the world and telling stories about it. Just Google resurrection myths or even creation myths, and you'll see myths very much like the phoenix. The Phoenix who burns its nest, and from the ashes, a new phoenix is born. This is the creative process. And humans have understood this for millennia. It's told again and again about how something needs to change. And specifically, you need to say goodbye to something. You need to burn your nest in order to rise. Now, burning your nest can mean so many things. It could be saying goodbye to old patterns. It could be transmuting darker emotions and stories. It could mean completely saying goodbye and changing your art or a part of you. I'm thinking of Picasso, who went through so many different phases. But what's universal is this. You can have small, incremental growth without changing much. We all know that most of us get through our lives that way. But for the kind of growth and impact you're looking for, into what maybe seemed like a dream before, you must pass through a reinvention. What got you here won't get you there, otherwise you already would have created it. Imagine a corporate executive who is a genius at really helping people get to the point really quickly sizing up the information that's most necessary and relevant, and has risen through the ranks through this ability to have very short, concise meetings and really get people focused on productivity and what really matters and not waste space on the small stuff. Obviously, when that pattern becomes so successful, it's going to be really challenging to change, because you'll believe to your bones that this is what's responsible for your success. But so often what we see is that it's also a cap to your success. I know, paradoxical, right? But just imagine that in order for this exec to really take the company into its much greater level of growth, what's actually going to be needed is a lot of out of the box thinking that only comes through collaborative brainstorming and throwing out ideas that never existed before. And that does not happen in an environment of really tight meeting schedules and hyperproductivity. These are the counter logical moments when you have to stop and think, wait, how can the thing that has served me so well possibly be holding me back now? I'm thinking of my client, Kat, who has been on the podcast a couple of times. You can go back and listen to those and hear the difference in her voice and her presentation over time. It's really fun, but she had dreams of creating a seven figure business, and when we first started working together, she was a freelancer doing all sorts of jobs for almost whoever requested them. But that pattern wasn't going to serve her for where she was going. She would have been totally burned out, and there just wasn't enough of her to get the seven figures she had to transform herself into someone who is very clear on her highest value zone of genius, is willing to loyally reorient herself to that over and over again. Get comfortable with regularly turning down work. And not just turning down work, but turning down offers that are far larger than what she used to earn. And in so doing, she has become an industry leader who is highly respected and highly in demand. But of course, when we're telling stories like George Carlin's and the Phoenixes and cats we are seeing thereafter. But in the beginning of this process, it doesn't feel like you have this clear roadmap to success. It feels like ass. There's a lot of discomfort, the fears, the vulnerability. Sometimes they're second guessing, which is why more people don't do it. We can't tolerate the level of discomfort that's required. But you are an entrepreneur, which means you're building muscles for tolerating risk and discomfort that rival a navy Seals. How do I know? Because I've lived in the military most of my life. I've studied with the military and coached many service members. And what both know the Navy SeaLs and entrepreneurs, is that discomfort now is worth. It is worth the bigger picture. For us, that would be worth the payout. The payout in satisfaction, in fulfillment, in business and personal growth. So that is the mindset tip that I want to leave with you, despite what your very human brain might tell you. And that brain is brilliant, but also very reactive because it has been wired to be so for hundreds of thousands of years. Discomfort is manageable. It's just a slush of chemicals in the bloodstream. So now let's get tactical, shall we? How do you actually kick start this magical process? Simply, you gather all of your courage and say, I am open to this and to receiving the clarity I need to move to the next level or to the next phase of my life, or whichever way you think about it. Again, I'm open. And I'm open to receiving whatever I need. Whether you realize it or not, you are doing this exactly when you hire a coach or you geek out with a super detailed spreadsheet listing the things in your life that aren't a 100% hell yes compared to what the hell yes version would be. Or you reverse engineer a plan of okay, if I dream of having a massive social media following, I will need to drastically increase my comfort with visibility. So what can I do now, today to begin increasing that capacity? All of these are manifestations of our openness to change and our commitment to change. So whether you do something when you do something like that, or you're comfortable just making the declaration to the universe, knowing that life itself will start giving you the information you need. They're all, in essence, signaling something very important. And after that signal, once you keep taking steps, you will create that directional momentum. Now, you might be thinking, how could that really be that powerful? So what? So I say something into my closet, looking at my clothes. So what? It's powerful because your higher self knows where you are going and how you're meant to evolve. So once you're open and paying attention, it will send you signs. Now, whether you see and interpret them is a whole other story. But in our human perception, linear time, point of view, we feel like where we're going is some big unknown. And maybe that getting there is an uphill battle, but the opposite is true. This is the tide and direction of your life. Life has been moving you along since the day you were born. So our openness is the equivalent of lowering a dam. The water's been accumulating. The tide has been flowing to the point that the pressure is building, and the river needs to not be here anymore, but to flow on, to continue making its way. But we need to lower the dam. To lower the damn dam. And having been through this before, I can tell you that that is exactly what is going on right now with the uncommon way. Actually, let me tell you about an earlier time as well, so you can see the similarities and patterns. Because, obviously, the whole point of me telling you about this, other than that you might be interested, is that I want to help you recognize some similar things that are showing up for you. So, this story is set in the time of COVID when I looked around at all the other business coaches saying, come on, you can still sell. Get out there and sell. And I just had no interest whatsoever in talking about that. I realized that what was truly interesting to me was the fact that this was going to be such a major awakening for so many people, that our world had just been turned head over heels, and it was going to have so many people looking for clarity and wondering, what do I really want in my life? What meaning do I want to make in my life in this one precious wild ride? And I wanted to speak to that. So I shut down my business, my business, coaching business, and I solely dedicated myself to clarity. But as I started to actually move through the paces, what I realized was that if I were truly going to walk my talk, which is that we can connect the dots of our business through what we're really here to do to our right people, to the right offer for those people, and onto the messaging that ties all of that up for them. What I realized is that if my mission, my reason for being here, was to help more women live very uncommon life of their choosing, that while, yes, it was helpful to help them get clear on what that would even look like, but that really, the best people who were really primed to bring that vision to life and to lean into it were entrepreneurs, because they had already chosen the path of the uncommon. They were already asking these questions for themselves, and they weren't bound by location restrictions or two weeks of vacation or whatever their boss was demanding of them. So I realized that it had to be entrepreneurs, but that I was going to do it differently, and that's exactly what I did. So, by the way, I promise to let you know when it's not time to burn everything to the ground and reinvent yourself or your business, and that is if you are purely running from something. So at the time I shut down my business, I was really burning the candle at both ends. And I was not only coaching my business clients, but I was creating copy for them and all of their messaging. And it was tough for me to carry that workload. And it was also tough for me to see that my clients were becoming more dependent on me rather than building their own muscles, their own communication and entrepreneurial muscles. But I didn't shut everything down just because of that, because that discomfort alone might have held some great lessons, and there was space there to figure out solutions. Maybe I needed to raise prices and have fewer clients and deal with the underlying not enoughness that was really holding me back from doing that in the first place. Or I just needed to build my capacity and my skills so that what seemed like time consuming work was far more manageable. There were so many possibilities for growth there, right? And so it really depends on your growth edge and your historical patterns that need to be transcended. But in my case, I had that very strong energy pulling me towards something as well. Helping women get their business up and running as quickly as possible, that was great, but it wasn't as aligned as helping them create clarity on that uncommon life. So even though I was gripped by fear about shutting down a six figure business, that was the first time I'd gotten to six figures. I was very attached to it. And even though I had a whole bunch of scarcity about would enough people even want this new kind of thing I was offering, I still move towards alignment. And now it's easy to look back and wonder why I even hesitated that this was so clearly much more aligned work for me and that my business would blossom. And now there's another reinvention going on. And I'll give you the backstory. I've known that a new offer was coming for maybe two years now. I even knew its name, but I also knew that it wasn't time yet. But when I was in Spain last month, house hunting, it became very apparent that it wanted to come. Now. It could care less about the logical timeline that I had prepared in my mind, which, if you're interested, is that I have been putting all of my love and attention towards the clarity accelerator mastermind, my signature program, and making sure that people were understanding the process and getting the results from the process and continuing to get even better results from the process. And now that that was happening, I wanted to start inviting more people and practice with that for a while. But nothing in my life is following the plan right now. We planned to move to North Carolina after my husband retires from the military this summer and then start spending more and more time in Spain until we were ready to move there. Well, guess what? We're cutting ties with no backup. We're selling most of our things and we are moving directly to Spain this summer. Full stop. So not only are we leaving behind the military life that I have known for 15 years, and that my husband is known for nearly 30, but we're leaving the country too. And in the background, I've been completely making over the team here at the uncommon way I have switched up all of my primary contractors. I've changed Vas. I've up leveled to working with a director of operations. My branding is getting a complete makeover. Many of you know that last year I did a big new photo shoot in Spain and you might have seen the sneak peeks on Instagram. I hope so. The website will look and feel completely different. Everything else will look and feel completely different. I hired my client Gabby, who's been on the podcast before and is just a brilliant artist to redo everything. And I'm having her back on the podcast so we can talk about that full process of rebranding. And you can gain so much wisdom from her like I did. And all of it was very much in line with the personal branding work that I did last year when I turned 50 up leveling my wardrobe because as I kept valuing myself more and more and having more and more disposable income, I wanted to adorn myself differently and I wanted to have the sensory experience of really amazing fabrics. This podcast is having a reinvention too. Not just the branding and the COVID art will change, but the title will change. And as you've already seen, the format is changing. And there are many other things in my life that I won't go into that are or were being reinvented. And honestly, I believe the rest of my business was like, hey, what about me? At first, it was a subtle knock at the door to get my attention. So there were some disappointments in my business that really helped me pay closer attention. Like the fact that I've been spending quite a lot of time on sales calls the last couple months. We are having more interest than ever, which is amazing, but with many, many people who are not the right fit. People that I have not seen come through Google in years, many that I didn't even hop on the phone with because I knew they weren't the right fit. And that's been curious. Usually I call in my clients with laser focus and they're very aligned. So I've been paying attention, I've been evaluating, knowing that the universe was helping me clarify what I don't want and why, so that I can get more specific about what I do want. So it was becoming apparent that I was really being called towards this second offer, towards the energy of this second offer. But then of course, my mind speaks up, saying it isn't time. And I was talking about it with Ben when we were in Spain, and he was offering know some points of view. He is ever logical and absolutely my rock. But he was know, really, I'm going to be taking a big pay cut when I go from active duty pay to my pension. And you are now the breadwinner. And is this really the time for you to change everything? And especially rewrite even the website copy? Because that's our bread and butter. That is my primary source of lead generation. Was I really ready to change things up over there? And it was so perfect because as he was saying, maybe you shouldn't change anything for a while, at least until we get to Spain. I just felt the strongest reaction in my body that, no, it had to be now. It was like a whoosh of intuition. It felt outside of me. And I knew that that was finally the conversation that would allow me to gain the clarity that the universe had been trying to lead me towards for months. And I just knew, and I let him know. And of course he was supportive. He was like, all right, well, then we're changing everything in life. Why not that too. But there's one other thing I haven't told you, and this is very, very important because I've already said my first love is the clarity accelerator, and I knew it needed to up level like every other area in my life. I can't change everything else and leave my baby behind, obviously, but I didn't know how that was going to happen until I was watching a replay of a coaching call inside the clarity accelerator. I have been having a couple of my most seasoned clarity accelerator clients coach in the program lately as bonus calls and just to over deliver and let my current clients have direct interaction with entrepreneurs who've been through the program too and used it to create a successful business. And as I was watching one of the replays, it hit me. Whoa. It was really good. No wonder how my clients have been raving about it. I realized that these women are much closer in time to where my clients are than I am right now. They can offer the kind of firsthand perspective that I can't always access in the same way myself. It's hard for me to remember when, for instance, I felt hesitations about sales or I doubted if my secret sauce was enough for my people or my entrepreneurial chops were enough. Of course I can talk about it. Theoretically. I lived through it, but not with the same emotion and detail and the same access to exactly what I did, when to help me change my beliefs about those things. Which is why I frequently bring clients onto the podcast to give you their firsthand perspective, because they can remember it like yesterday and it was like a light bulb going off in my brain. And so now I am so excited to announce that when you join the clarity accelerator, now the greatest mastermind that exists, which is getting even better, you will get one of these women as your personal coach to be with you during the six months of the program. You'll have one to one calls with them, which are so helpful when you want to dive deeper into a topic. And yes, you'll still have the private call with the copywriter to make sure that you are nailing the concepts and the tactics about communication that we share in the program. I have already found someone amazing, and she is very, very talented. And of course, I'll still be there too, every week, leading calls. And this is still a boutique mastermind where I will know you. I know your business. I know what you're working on. I will be there for you as you learn the principles of how we build such powerful businesses. As you clarify your secret sauce, as you create your million dollar offer, meaning this offer. If it creates a six figure business for you because it's so perfect and tantalizing for your clients, then in ten years you've created a million dollars and even more, and with a shorter timeline, if you're creating multiple six, which you will definitely have the tools to do so, you've clarified your secret sauce, your offer, and lastly, how you'll articulate the value of it and sell it. And then of course, really starting to apply all of this to your business. We don't just think about it and theorize. We always roll up our sleeves and we grow your business together in real time so that you get to see the up level and you'll have your personal coach and me to help with all of that. And again, this is open to all entrepreneurs. Some people, the lucky ones, start with us at the very beginning of their journey. But there are also people at six figures or beyond in their businesses who are clarifying the next iteration of their business and the vehicles that they want to take them into the next iteration of their business. Meaning the offers, the strategies. On top of that, I am remaking the coursework to simplify everything, to make it so clear and easy that it just folds right into everything you're doing. And of course, you'll still get access to the original materials if you're interested in those. So as you can probably hear, I am beyond excited for everyone who's going to be joining us this year because there hasn't never been a better time to join. And if you are curious about the new mastermind experience, the new offer that I've been teasing on this show that is going to begin in fall. So you will definitely want to make sure that you have your bases covered and join us in the clarity accelerator now so that you can transition easily into that program. Now, I'm going to be talking about that one more next week, but it's going to be very juicy and it's for people that have mastered the concepts in the accelerator. So stay tuned for more on that. All right, if you have any questions at all, you can drop us an email support at. The uncommon way, you can also go to theuncommonway.com schedule to set up your 90 minutes roadmap. Call with me at any time if you want to see how we would apply the tools in the clarity accelerator and the support in the clarity accelerator to you specifically and your business. All right, my friends, that's it for today. You know who you are, and each day you are stepping further into what you're here to create. Have a great week. Thanks for joining us here at the uncommon way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the clarity first strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit theuncommonway.com. See you next time. Our.

Ep #87: My Uncommon Story: Surviving Violence and Stepping Into Post-Traumatic Growth.

Episode Summary

Trigger Warning:
This episode contains mentions of domestic, physical, and emotional violence, as well as suicidal ideations.

Jenna shares stories of surviving an abusive relationship and moving toward greater self-love.

Join us in the Clarity Accelerator by scheduling a call here.

Enjoy the show? Leave a review to help other like-minded entrepreneurs gain clarity in their businesses.

If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.

Show Notes

In this episode, to continue the My Uncommon Way series, I’m sharing a pivotal moment of my life that I couldn’t leave out of my story, even if it’s about one of the hardest, darkest, and economically poorest periods of my life. I hope it will give people who are in a situation like the one I was in hope that life will turn out better.

We jump back to the period following 9/11 when I was living in New York City. The environment was heavy; while the rest of the country had started to move on, New Yorkers were torn between wanting to leave and wanting to stay. At that time, I was in a spirit of ‘what could go wrong?’ and eventually involved myself in the most disastrous relationship of my life.

Today, I’m sharing how I ended up in a relationship with this man despite the warning signs, the reality of being in an abusive relationship, how I eventually reached the point of having suicidal thoughts, and what pushed me to seek help. I discuss how I managed my way through it and the courageous steps necessary to thrive.

What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

• What was happening in my life during this period.

• How I came to move away from my beloved New York City.

• The reality of this relationship and the reasons why I stayed in it.

• How I got out of a situation where I carried more debt than ever in my life.

• The importance of finding help and support if you are in a similar situation.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

• If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.

• Click here to sign up for my newsletter and find out how the Connect The Dots Method has helped clients in all stages of their business.

• Get your questions ready for the upcoming free coaching on the website.

• Follow me on Instagram for behind-the-scenes content and daily value bombs!

• What’s been the most helpful episode? Comment on our Podcast Thread or DM me on Instagram.

• Click here to learn more about the Clarity Accelerator.

• The Book of Laughter and Forgetting by Milan Kundera

• Ep #34: The ‘Too Braggy’ Fear and What I’m Doing About It

• Ep #73: My Uncommon Story: Tales of a City Girl, the Light and the Dark

• National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-099-7233

• Women’s Law Project

Full Episode Transcript:

Hey, this is a new series where I'm giving you the context behind what I share in this podcast, i.e. what went on in my life to get me here. Think of this as part entrepreneurial mindset building told through stories, part historical nonfiction, and part audacious, salacious, beach read. Hope you enjoy.

You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the podcast that helps women entrepreneurs get clear on signature offers and strategies that sell themselves so you can lean back and stop the hustle. You will learn to maximize your mindset, messaging, and strategy, and step into the uncommonly successful business and life you are creating. Here's your host, top-ranked business coach and reformed over-analyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.

Hello, my friends, it is so nice to be back with you. I am back from my trip to Panama. Of course, we've had two wonderful guests hosts over the last weeks for Black History Month, and I'm so grateful to them for the tips and the wisdom that they've shared.

I'm also grateful because we got a house. We are now officially moving to Majorca, Spain, in July. Our week was very intense. There is such a tight rental market there and places were disappearing in the day. We were making contact with different realtors, and following up with one, and we have to go see this place here. And oh, now this other one popped up. Let's shoot over to that part of the island.

But in the end of the stars aligned, and we found a wonderful, wonderful place; it is two stories. It's part of a common community. So there's a community pool, and it will allow for, of course, Dylan to meet some other children and us to meet some neighbors. We have our own garden, and we have a terrace overlooking the sea.

In fact, it's overlooking this beautiful green space, and you can just see one house with a red tiled roof. That's actually part of the king's Summer Palace. So, that is our view. Amazingly enough, the family that owns it is moving into a second home and leaving all of their furniture there, which is beautiful.

Instead of moving into a rental property that is furnished with rental furniture, and you know what I mean, it is beautiful, wonderful, quality furniture, and it feels like such a home. We're just walking straight into a home, it's turnkey ready, which makes this whole move so simple for us. We can hop on a flight here, arrive there, and we're ready to go. And as you know, I like to keep things simple.

So, we have the house, we found the school, we set a date, and it's happening. Oh, I'm so excited. And I wanted to share all of this happiness, specifically now, to set the anchor for this episode, which will be about one of the hardest and darkest periods of my life, and one of my poorest periods economically.

I want you to know that things turn out fine for me. And if you happen to be in a similar situation, or you forward this episode to someone you know, I want to anchor this, with this story, to give them hope that their life will also turn out better than fine.

Before we go further, there is a trigger warning. Which is that I'll be talking about domestic physical and emotional abuse in this episode, and suicidal ideation. This is a challenging episode to record for several reasons. And one of them is that there are some details that I'll choose to omit so that I don't incriminate myself. Therefore, you, dear listener, will be left to connect some of the dots for yourself.

But in the celebration of my life story… And in case you haven't been with me since the beginning of the series, that is what this series is about. When I turned 50 years old, I had such a completely different approach to that birthday than any other birthday I had had previously.

Where, rather than thinking about the advancing of years, I really thought about the celebration of life. And specifically, my life, and what a wild and glorious ride it has been. I decided to honor that by creating this series and hoping that any nuggets of wisdom that came through would find their way to the right people.

And so, in that celebration, I couldn't leave out this part of the story. It was so pivotal for me and it is such a celebration of survival. In the last episode of this series, I had just experienced 9-11. I was in my 20s, I was living a great life in Manhattan, and I was really at the zenith of joviality, even sprinkled with frivolity, when the towers fell.

I alluded to how the next period in my life was dark, and it was marked by some reckless and self-sabotaging behaviors, which now catches you up if you didn't get to listen to that episode. After the shock and horror of 9-11…

By the way, somebody asked if I had known anyone that was killed or injured on that day, which I neglected to mention, and the answer's no, thankfully. I knew someone who was meeting in a nearby building, but thankfully, none of my friends and loved ones were lost.

After that shock period of the first month following the attack, we all entered into kind of a tentative phase where it was like, “Is it okay to be doing this? To go out, to have anything resembling normalcy, or anything resembling happiness? Or were we just play-acting in a world that would never, ever be the same?”

Where we were all wondering when and where another attack would happen. Looking around and thinking about how meaningless so many of our old pastimes and old interests had become.

One of the most impactful books in my life is The Book of Laughter and Forgetting by Milan Kundera. He really explores the themes of lightness and heaviness in our psyche and our society, and how at both extremes we're not living our fullest, best life.

I think, in this period I was really caught up trying to figure that out for myself. Now, I'm a sixth in Human Design. Meaning, I lived the first part of my life in full experimentation. I need to go through it. I need to experience it all for myself, no one could tell me anything. I need to find out the hard way sometimes.

And this was definitely still that phase. And so, in this phase kind of moving between nothing matters and everything matters, and then feeling the heaviness and pinging back towards the lightness, and vice versa, I, like I said, had some reckless behavior. I remember calling up someone I'd met at a club one time and driving to another city, just to get away from the heaviness of what was New York at that time.

The rest of the country, that hadn't actually been there, seemed to move on from it so much more quickly than we did. And it felt oppressive. You wanted to be there, because that felt like reality. And yet, you also wanted to be away from it, because you could taste what was normal, what once was normal to you.

And so, I remember calling this person up, and just driving to this other city, having unprotected sex with this complete stranger, because why not?

I remember initiating an affair with a famous married man that I'd met in a restaurant; with no regard for the woman on the other side. I decided that because he was European they probably had an open marriage, and so I would just blatantly ask, “Are you very married or just married?”

Luckily, he ended up sending me a dick pic later, and so that killed the romance and excitement for me and I didn't go through with it. But if that hadn't happened, I would have entered very carelessly and callously into something just because it seemed like a good idea at the time.

So, it was in that spirit of ‘what could go wrong? What could possibly go wrong that’s worse than what we've lived through?’ that I involved myself in the most disastrous relationship of my life, with the man that I call “Bozo.”

Called “Bozo,” because when I finally separated from him, I would get so triggered seeing his name pop up on my phone I would become short of breath and so distracted and unable to focus that I changed it to something comical to really lessen the charge, and it stuck.

We met at a well-known hip-hop club in the Flat Iron district called the Cheetah Club. Now remember, this is the 2000s, when hip-hop is fully leading and influencing fashion and pop culture and music. I’d gone with a group of girls, some friends of mine; it wasn't our first time.

Somebody was dancing near me, watching me. A friend of mine spun me around and pushed me into him. He was a very good-looking man; a good-looking Black man. By the end of the night I had given him my phone number. I'll gloss over the details of our courtship, but I'll tell you that he was very attentive and sweet, and really a wolf in sheep's clothing.

Sociopaths can keep up a very good front for a year or so. And while yes, there were definitely red flags, the real flags weren't about violence. They were about his story not quite adding up, and him being a little insecure. Which would later translate into being very easily moved to jealousy. But I'd been dating a rather aloof artist for years by that point, and I liked that this guy was more straight up, as I saw it.

What really led me to my fall, in hindsight, was hubris on my part. It was thinking I had my shit so together that nothing could touch me. And so, like I said, what could go wrong? Now, Bozo was born in Jamaica, and his mother had brought him and his sister and other brother over to the country when Bozo was very young.

Because she was illegal, they lived in very difficult circumstances in Canarsie, in New York, right on the edge of the projects. I don't know if it's true, but he does have stories about being in the same room with different rappers before they were famous; that may or may not be true. But he did have a rough childhood, and was actually shot in the head when he was young which likely contributed to some of his mental instability. I don't know.

But it definitely added to his sob story about how he had come from a good family in Jamaica, and how his mom had been sort of the black sheep, wild child, and had taken them away from this very upstanding family that he had. In fact, he did use to call his uncle, so I would hear him talking to his uncle in Jamaica. So, someone existed, who apparently was very well to do.

Bozo had a singular dream, which was to become a pilot. He had already done some part of his qualifications, and his uncle had helped him finance some of that. His dream, really, was to become legal, finally, in this country that he'd lived in since he was a baby, so that he could continue his education and become a pilot.

Now, in hindsight, there are so many places where I got hooked here. I had always had such a strong passion and fire about the plight of people who were illegal. My best friend in college was a Japanese citizen who had grown up in international, in American international schools, all of her life.

But after graduating, because she couldn't get a job that would be willing to sponsor her in a tight market, she was forced to return to Japan to work. And she didn't even speak Japanese; or at least not the level of Japanese that would be required for her to work in a corporate environment there.

And of course, I, myself, had been illegal living for years in Spain. And then, my dads were both pilots, my brother was a pilot. I had always gravitated towards partners that had this single burning passion and drive for one thing, because, as you know, I had no clue what I wanted to do. That was the most attractive and interesting thing to me in the world.

And I had a great deal of “White guilt.” I've spoken with many White women who have felt this, specifically after George Floyd. And if you've been listening to this series, you know that I had my introduction to these issues of race during my college years, during the Rodney King beatings. It had become clear to me just how much privilege I had had.

Also, I'd grown up in Hawaii, where I was very judged and condemned by many people for that privilege. I internalized so much of that. I felt so bad, so guilty about it. This is going to sound dramatic, but I was nothing if not dramatic in my 20s.

At one point, I had a breast cancer scare. I had a biopsy, and I was certain that it would come back cancerous. My reasoning was, ‘no one can have such a good life without having something equally terrible to balance it out.’ Now, it turned out not to be cancerous. But I think I was still searching for this thing that would be the hard knock that was inevitably coming to me.

While I honestly don't remember any thoughts about being a “White savior,” to the point where I saw Bozo as a poor Black person that I needed to help, or that I would in any way receive glory for helping, or being seen as helping a poor Black man, I do definitely remember thinking that I had had so much privilege that it was only right that I would help in any way that I could.

I believed that we were brought together so that I could help him. Because of all of the experiences I'd had, international experiences I’d had, I didn't think anyone else would be willing to go as far as I would to help someone sort that out and get themselves into firm standing.

And of course, since my shit was so tight, and I had the great job, the great apartment, I was earning well, there was really no harm in the situation. What could go wrong?

So, when he came to me with a story, just a month or so after we met, saying that he'd had a fight with his roommate and the roommate had kicked him out, and now he really had nowhere to stay, I figured, sure, he could crash at my place for a bit. Sure, I could help him out. Not realizing that he would never move back out.

Since the transition from sweet-guy-who-needs-a-helping-hand into maniacal and severely unbalanced abuser from whom I could not escape, happened gradually, over a fairly long period, I'm going to skip over it. Because A- we'd need several episodes, and B- it's honestly a bit muddled in my head still, to remember that whole chain of events.

So, I'll cut to the chase about the three reasons that I stayed with him once I realized that he was in fact abusive. Number one, was fearing for my family’s safety. He threatened to kill or hurt them if I left.

While that might have landed someone in jail, or at least gotten us a restraining order, I believe that my only saving grace was staying with him until he could become legal. Because, during this time, he could not afford one black mark on his record. And so, he was careful.

For instance, he was careful to never leave bruises where they could be seen, or would likely to be seen. Were something to go wrong and that chance for residency were to be lost, for instance, if he was ever taken into police custody, he would of course be deported. But then, he would definitely get into the country illegally again.

In fact, I knew several people in his social circle who had been kicked out at that point a couple of times and come back in. I believe that if that happened to him, he would truly have nothing to lose, and be, of course, furiously angry. So, I believed that I had no protection.

That really leads me to the second reason. Which is, my thought that, “I have to figure this out by myself. I got myself into this mess, and I have to get myself out.” My parents knew nothing. My friends did not know the full story. I believed I couldn't go to the police or anybody. And that really, it was just down to me and my wits of how I was going to play the game and stay alive long enough to extricate myself.

And I notice, by the way, that thought coming back again for me, as if I didn't learn my lesson later on, when I was going to build my business. That ‘I should just be able to figure this out by myself.’ I can see that it is a deep pattern. I've done so much work to rewrite my thoughts on that.

But just the other day, I was helping my mom with something and she was apologizing profusely. I said, “Mom, why are you apologizing?” And she said, “Because I should be able to figure this out by myself. I'm supposed to be strong and independent.” It's like ding-ding-ding.

So often I hear words coming out of my mom's mouth that I now know why I say them, or have said them in the past, and that is one of them. Not blaming my mother, this was fully all on me.

But I will blame my human brain, because that is the third, and possibly most important reason that I stayed with him. Stockholm Syndrome is real. Stockholm Syndrome is when you develop a deep attachment to your abuser. It's a very important survival response for people whose lives are threatened. Because if they can bond and attach with their abuser their chances of survival are higher.

But it wasn't until much later that I learned about the mechanics of this. Actually, that I even learned about this, let alone how it actually works in the brain. And so, I remember feeling so much shame. I remember once, after we had separated, we saw each other again and I got this huge smile on my face.

That smile haunted me for so long. I just felt so angry. I just wanted to go back and wipe that stupid smile off my face. How could I smile at him? I wouldn't say I necessarily felt happy to see him, I felt very scared. But I had such a smile on my face, I just couldn't stop it.

For those years that I was living with him, which were about three, it was like a hostage situation. Where I had to do everything right all the time, or it would devolve into the pattern of him emotionally abusing me and tearing my life to shreds. Until I'd finally flip a lid, yell at him, and then he could hit me or torture me in some way.

I learned later about the cycle of abuse. Which is where, after kind of a climax and intensity in a situation, such as a physical fight, there is some reconciliation. At which point, huge bursts of oxytocin are released. Oxytocin is a chemical that we know about from childbirth, and it helps us forget, but it also helps us bond.

And so, it really creates indelible bonds with this person, even though they're treating you so terribly. And then, there's a honeymoon phase, where this person acts really well. Maybe they've even, and they're certainly saying that they've learned their lesson and it will never happen again.

But little by little, there are these little annoyances, little flares, little comments, little digs, little jabs, that start becoming more constant. Until finally, one or both of you explodes and the whole cycle repeats itself again. And when I say I had to do everything right, I mean I even had to breathe right.

There were times where we would just be driving along and I would finally just be looking out and enjoying the sunshine and thinking for a minute, everything seemed okay. And all of a sudden, he'd say, “Why are you breathing like that?” I'd be completely caught off guard, “Breathing like what?” “You know what,” he'd say. He would use that as evidence that I must feel guilty about something.

My intonation had to be perfect. My actions. My behavior. But often, the standards changed and what used to work no longer worked. And so, I was just constantly walking on eggshells. In the times when we were building up to these kinds of blow-up periods, he would try to exert control or get back at me by disrupting my work very frequently.

He'd start calling 20 times in a row, to the point where then the receptionist would have to tell the boss, or come ask if I were okay. “Why is this person calling you over and over again throughout your work day?” I was doing freelance story design, so sometimes, to exert control, he would keep me up all night and make sure that I couldn't work to finish a project that was due or something.

And that would teach me a lesson that I better not repeat those behaviors in the future. He’d do the same thing with friends. He got so bad that I finally left my beloved New York City. I thought that if we could get into a neutral environment, A- he would feel a bit more secure. And B- at least I wouldn't have to be dealing with the subterfuge of trying to keep everything from my work and my friends.

That's how I came to find myself all alone on my 30th birthday, in a place that I didn't even want to live. Sometimes his disruption was financial. He would spend a ton of money, using my credit cards, of course. It would get worse and worse, and I was always robbing Peter to pay Paul. I became the master of zero interest credit cards.

Again, I'd learned a lot about financing when I bought my apartment in New York, and I used a lot of those skills here. But I was carrying more debt than I ever had in my life. I hadn't had student loans, so this was like my student loan. And in fact, when I was bemoaning the situation later on to my therapist, she said, “Well, it seems like you paid for your graduate degree.” Wise words.

Of course, sometimes the disruption would be emotional abuse or physical. Around this time, the events at Abu Ghraib were revealed, about how American guardsmen had been abusing prisoners in Abu Ghraib. As they talked about some of the treatment, and also what was coming to light about the CIA, I was like, “Yep, sounds about right.”

I remember a night where he came storming into the room, ripped the sheets and blankets off the bed and threw cold water on me, opened the windows, and kept me up just talking all night long, berating me. That was really the worst part, just the talking. The talking was the worst part, how he would twist the facts and past events and stories. I started to feel like the movie Gaslight, where I was going crazy.

I remember once where I was on the floor and he was up above me talking, talking, and with every fiber of my body I was saying, “Jenna just don't break. It's just words. It's just sounds. Ignore him. Think about something else in your head. He wants to have you explode. Don't give in.”

But every time, I would just snap all of a sudden, and then I would just hate myself afterwards for not being able to keep it together. Thankfully, he never punched me in the face or did anything that landed me in the hospital. But like I said, he really knew what he was doing, and would make sure that bruises never showed up on my forearms or on my neck, or anything that would be visible.

We were constantly bickering and fighting. The police were called several times. There was so much drama. But each time, of course, I said that I didn't want to press charges and the police would have to leave. I remember so many looks of pity and judgment from them, and from people in the hallways, out and about if we'd have an altercation, in an airport once, of people who had no idea.

We still stereotype women who are abused. Because, as a society, we don't fully understand the brain chemistry and the many pieces that are at play, which is very often the safety of other loved ones, including children. I came to feel so small, so uncertain.

I would have these flashbacks to a time where he and I were walking in a sunny day, in New York City, and it was early spring and unseasonably warm. So, I was wearing these knee-high boots, and this really great skirt that I'd gotten at a very cute independent boutique, down in Nolita. It was kind of cut on the bias, so it had this little sachet to it.

I'd had a jacket on, with a shirt, but because it was so warm, I'd taken the jacket off and put it in my bag. And so, I had the sleeveless shirt on. I just remember the joy of the sun in that moment. I took a few steps, I kind of put my arm out and my face up. I was taking these strong, very purposeful steps. This was at the very beginning of when I'd met him. And he looked over at me and he's like, “Girl, I like your confidence.”

And I was so fully confident. But then it was if he went to systematically breaking it down, piece by piece, bit by bit, until I wondered where all the pieces had gone.

My only consolation during this time were the moments that I would have when reading. I became so interested in philosophy and questions of faith. I desperately wanted to make sense of how bad things can happen to good people. And also, how I could possibly still have anything close to a guardian angel or anyone protecting me if this were going on in my life.

I remember my low point. We were fighting one night and there was a storm happening; these beautiful storms that kind of roll through the tropics with so much wind and lightning and rain. We had an apartment that was on a high floor with a balcony. I remember kind of screaming, and in that moment just thinking, “God, if you do exist, please strike him down right now with lightning. Just make this end.”

I remember pleading that with my whole heart in that instant. And of course, nothing happened. That just shows you how fragile I felt at the time. That I thought maybe that would be a last hope, and then being disappointed that the lightning didn't magically rearrange itself to strike him down. I felt so alone.

I remember, again, flair for the dramatic, but feeling like I am, now it has been proven, I am now truly alone. After that, I was just kind of going through the motions.

Until I remember one moment when I was driving home from work, and I was very close to losing my job. By the way, I've always said that I switched into fashion, away from jewelry, because I was burned out with doing jewelry all day and so how could I start a jewelry business by night? That is absolutely true.

But also, it was because I had to scramble to find a job, because I had to leave my old one. So, I'm driving home along the freeway, there's this curve in the freeway, and in that moment I just realized I could do nothing. I could just not turn the car. I could just go straight into the barrier and end it all. Wouldn't that be better for everyone? My pain would be over. My parents would be safe.

And really, what had become of my life? I was the girl who was getting recruited by McKinsey, and Goldman, and USAID. I'd had such huge dreams. There's a high school essay where I talked about, “Oh, and when I buy my private island…” Like it was just a natural course of action when that happens.

And now, here I was with no real career progression, nothing had turned out like it was supposed to, and I didn't know how much longer I was going to be able to survive in this situation.

Well, needless to say, that moment scared me enough that I realized I needed help. There was another one, as well. I realized that I also would even have thoughts of killing him and feel very cold in the moment. I didn't feel strong emotions about that either way. And so, I finally sought help and found a therapist.

And the reason that I was able to do it, is that I convinced Bozo that it was supposedly my anger issues. Because after all, we'd seen me explode in angry outbursts over and over again, which was clearly my fault. And so, I needed to go to therapy to help resolve my anger issues.

I remember the first time I went to see her just feeling deathly afraid. I said, “Could he get in here?” And she said, “Yes, actually. If he really wanted to, he probably could.” She was in a kind of shared office, there were various offices in this. She said, “Do you want to leave the door open, so that you can see the hallway door if it opens?” And I said yes.

I remember speaking in a very low voice to her our first few sessions, just in case he was out in the waiting room. But it was the beginning of my salvation. The bottom line here is, get help. Get help sooner rather than later. Don't be like me and try to go it alone. That helped me keep my sanity, and also to move up the timeframe for myself of when I thought I'd be able to extricate myself.

He was not fully legal when I left, but he was close enough that I was willing to take the risk. I remember going to the police, telling them the situation and that I needed support as I was moving out of my house. They stood guard while he said awful things about me. Well, directly to me and to the officers.

That's when I moved into a halfway house; it was surrounded with barbed wire. The moments that I was in there, I had not felt that safe since before 9-11. It was such a beautiful, delicious safety. I met so many amazing women. I considered everything there such a blessing. They also had support to teach us all about how the brain works, and exactly what had been going on.

I always love giving to houses like this now, because it is such a needed but also amazing resource for people that have lost everything. Well, not everything, right? They still have their life.

Then I managed to have him think that I got fired. This is now with the new company. In fact, I think I made it seem like that was why I was so angry with him, and why I was finally leaving. I think that's what I did. But the truth is I had not, and the whole company was in on this deceit. And so, I would take a very roundabout way to get to work, because I knew, of course, he would be watching the front.

I would park in the back, by the factory. All the factory guys knew that I was parking there. I'd walk up through the factory, the shipping floor, and into my office working for the chairman of this fashion company. And the receptionist knew not to get caught in any kind of manipulation and to, of course, say that I didn't work there.

I wouldn't answer any outside calls if I didn't recognize the number. The fellow assistants supported me in that. I really was so lucky to have so many people have my back. Of course, it was hard to come out to them about it, but they all just rallied. They just rallied. I was only able to stay in the halfway house for, I think, a few weeks. And so, I started looking for another place to live.

Again, I was so lucky, and found a room in an apartment in South Beach with these two gay guys. They were huge, and I felt so safe with them. They brought back so much levity to my life. I loved them so dearly. One of them has now passed.

Eventually Bozo did get his papers and he moved back to New York City. But then, I got a heads up from a mutual acquaintance that he was talking about coming back to Florida. I think it was that very same day, I walked out of the front of my office, because by then, so long had passed and I thought he was in New York, but he'd already gotten to Florida.

He was standing right there on the steps. And he was like, “Well, hello.” That is that moment where I got that big, big smile on my face that I was so angry at myself for. Although, of course, I shouldn't have been. That is when I decided that it was time to get a restraining order, even though I was still, in some ways, scared of the consequences.

Even though it may just get him deported, and then he'd be off the books, and a loose cannon, looser cannon. But I went through with it anyway. I concocted a scheme with a friend of mine. She was going to come with me to the church that I would go to in South Beach. I knew he knew that I had gone to that church. And so, I knew that he would one Sunday for sure, go back and try and find me there.

I sat in the front, and she sat in the back. After the service, I got up and I left and I walked outside. Of course, he was there and he approached me, and that's when she called the police.

Because, of course, you have to get the restraining order served, which is the worst part of it. If you need a restraining order, and you can't find the person, you have to get into a situation where you can see the person or be face to face with the person in order to get the police to serve this restraining order.

So, she called the police. Those were the longest moments of my life. I stood there listening, trying not to respond as he read me the riot act and told me why I'd been so wrong to leave him and why we shouldn't be together, and on and on and on.

I saw the police officer kind of strolling around, and he kind of glanced at us and walked past, but didn't actually come over. I was like, “Here, here, come over here.” And then he kind of was walking back, and so finally I just had to interject. I had to hope he was the person that had the restraining order to serve.

I said, “Sir, I believe this is the person you're looking for. Please serve the restraining order.” And luckily, it was. They served him the restraining order. I remember the look of absolute shock and astonishment on his face. Then I left. And when we were in a place where he couldn't see my friend, I just hugged and celebrated and cried.

A few days later, I went to the courthouse and had to sit in a room with him for the very last time, as the judge heard our case and decided whether or not to extend it. He was the first person to talk, and he talked and talked and talked, as he does. And afterwards, the judge said, “Okay, so I'm going to approve this.” He never even heard from me. That was the last time I saw him.

I am a survivor, and I am so grateful to have survived that. Though I would never, ever advise anyone to deal with it alone like I did, I did manage to navigate my way through, though with some hefty battle wounds that I am still working on today.

In an earlier episode, it was #34. It's called “The 'Too Braggy' Fear and What I'm Doing About It.” I talked then about how I had a stalker, and why that is added to the difficulty in really being out there and vulnerable. For instance, showing a picture of me in a bathing suit. On the cover of that episode, I was in fact in a bathing suit, living my best life, and choosing to act into a place where I'm not afraid of being watched by him.

He has, unfortunately, made his presence known. Every 10 years or so he'll managed to pop up in my DM somewhere. It has been so wonderful living overseas and on military bases, and feeling that extra added security. But still, when I see somebody that looks like him in a certain way or a certain posture, my heart quickens.

For the last couple years I've been doing EMDR, which is been wonderful for me. I highly recommend that. Not specifically for this issue, although I knew that that was one area of the stored drama that I could probably benefit from exploring and releasing. But what I've noticed is that sometimes, when I’d get so angry with my son, it is in fact tied to trauma responses from that time.

And so, still to this day, I am doing beautiful healing work on many life stories, but it so supports the concept of post-traumatic growth. We've all heard of PTSD, but not all of us have heard of PTG. It's such an important concept of how trauma moves us forward, actually, towards growth. How it's possible to transmute those events into wisdom, into learning, into greater self-love and greater self-knowledge. And I can attest to that.

So, for anyone who needs to hear this, that is available to you, too. But I recommend getting help ASAP. We will link to some resources in the show notes.

Fear and terror keep us stuck. But shame keeps us stuck, too. What I've learned is that shame can be a choice. And please, hear me when I say you have nothing to be ashamed of. You are being manipulated by someone who is lucky enough to have stumbled onto a glitch in our human psyche, in our brains’ survival mechanism. And you are surviving if you're alive listening to this.

And for that, I commend you and honor you. But in order to thrive, it will take some courageous steps on your part. And I want you to do it safely. So, the first is picking up a phone and asking someone qualified for help.

Okay, I want to end on an uplifting note, and I want to share the story of how I got myself out of debt. Now remember, I'm carrying more debt than I ever have; $100,000 in debt. Remember, I still have this place in New York City but it's not worth nearly that much. And the rent barely covers the mortgage.

One day, a realtor happens to write me and says, “Hey, do you have any interest in selling your apartment? I just sold another one in your unit for about $100,000.” Now, I don't think that was the exact amount, now that I think back on it, because that was my debt. Eventually, I did sell the apartment. It was the hardest decision, because New York City does hold my heart and I loved it so much.

I’d always dreamed of giving that little Manhattan studio apartment to my own daughter someday. So, that she'd always have a place of her own, and never have to feel poor. At least, she'd always have a roof over her head.

But as I started to look at the situation, by that point, without Bozo, I really loved Miami. I loved its vibrancy. I loved its passion. I loved the beautiful weather. I loved that I could afford more space there, that I could walk down to the beach, that I could walk to my favorite yoga studio. It just seemed like a better quality of life.

And so, I did it. I said yes to selling. It came at the perfect time, and it, almost dollar-for-dollar, wiped out all my debt. There was no debt left over, and there was no surplus leftover either. It was like it was all just gone and I could start fresh. Such a blessing.

Then that realtor ended up saying that he was coming down to Florida, we met up, and ended up becoming dear friends. That friendship has lasted for decades. He became very good friends with all of my friends down there. Sometimes I just give him random hugs for how perfectly he came into my life.

Alright, my friends. That's it for today. Remember, you know who you are, and each day you're stepping further into what you're here to create.

Hey, if you want true clarity about your secret sauce, your people, your best way of doing business, and how you talk about your offer, then I invite you to join us in the Clarity Accelerator. I'll teach you to connect all the dots, the dots that have always been there for you, so that you can show up like you were born for exactly this.

Come join us and supercharge every other tool or tactic you'll ever learn, from Facebook ads to manifestation. Just go to TheUncommonWay.com/schedule and set up a time to talk. I can't wait to be your coach.

Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity First strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.

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Ep #86: Black Women Entrepreneurs Share 3 Secrets to Success – Part 2 with Germaine Foley

Episode Summary

Jenna invites Germaine Foley to share strategies for overcoming feelings of not being good enough in business and navigating the challenges of belonging in coaching spaces as a woman of color.

Join us in the Clarity Accelerator by scheduling a call here.

Enjoy the show? Leave a review to help other like-minded entrepreneurs gain clarity in their businesses.

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Show Notes

In celebration of Black History Month, I’m inviting two successful black women entrepreneurs and coaches to the podcast. This week, Germaine Foley offers valuable insights and tips tailored specifically for women of color who own businesses, which will undoubtedly benefit all women business owners.

Germaine is a coach who helps women who make good money but struggle to keep it, build wealth without sacrificing their lifestyles. She came across my invitation post for Black coaches in our Facebook coaching group. In this episode, she shares why she initially ignored the post and discusses how the sneaking thought that got in her way reflects her most significant business challenge, a common struggle among many women of color.

Tune in this week to learn how to trust in yourself, your worth, and your right to have a business or be a coach. Germaine shares mindset, tactical, and energetic tips, as well as an exercise she gives to her clients when questioning if they are good enough. She even provides the exact prompts to start putting yourself out in a bigger way, charging what you want, and making offers to serve your intended audience.

What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

• Germaine's journey, from struggling to maintain wealth to becoming a successful coach.

• How Germaine was able to build wealth while still enjoying her lifestyle, without compromising it.

• Germaine’s biggest struggle as a Black woman in the coaching industry.

• Insightful mindset, tactical, and energetic tips from Germaine for women of color in the coaching space.

• Germaine’s experience as a woman of color in business and her journey towards self-alignment, despite external opinions.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

• If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.

• Click here to sign up for my newsletter and find out how the Connect The Dots Method has helped clients in all stages of their business.

• Get your questions ready for the upcoming free coaching on the website.

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• What’s been the most helpful episode? Comment on our Podcast Thread or DM me on Instagram.

• Click here to learn more about the Clarity Accelerator.

• Germaine Foley: Website | Instagram | Facebook

• Wealthy Women’s Podcast with Germaine Foley

Full Episode Transcript:

You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the podcast that helps women entrepreneurs get clear on signature offers and strategies that sell themselves so you can lean back and stop the hustle.

You will learn to maximize your mindset, messaging and strategy, and step into the uncommonly successful business and life you are creating. Here's your host, top-ranked business coach and reformed over-analyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.

Hey, as a special treat for Black History Month, I'm bringing in some successful black women entrepreneurs to share tips that are specifically for women of color who own businesses. But this information is wildly useful for all women business owners. As we do around here, they'll be sharing real tactics, great mindset tips... Both of them are fantastic coaches… and an energetic tip.

I am beyond excited for what they have to share and how very useful I know it will be. In today's episode, you'll hear from Germaine Foley. She helps women that make good money, but struggle to keep it. She helps them build wealth without having to sacrifice their lifestyle. I know you'll love hearing her story about how she almost didn't host this episode, and how the logical sounding but very sneaky thought that got in her way is a reflection of what has been her very biggest struggle in business.

And it's something that affects many, many women of color. She'll also share how playing small insulates you from questioning your worth. But now that you are stepping out more, and you might be coming up against some of that, naturally, she is going to show you a very specific exercise that she gives her clients.

She even gives you the exact prompts in order to start putting yourself out in a bigger way, charge what you want, and make offers to help the people you're meant to serve. Plus, she's going to share an energetic perspective that really stopped me dead in my tracks.

I was walking Sky at the time, and it stopped me in my tracks and made me laugh at the whole ‘hell, yes,’ truth of it. It's the kind of thing where once you see it in this light, you can't ever unsee it. All right, my friends, enjoy this very valuable episode.

Germaine Foley: Well, hello, everyone. I am so excited to be here with you all today. Of course, I have to give a huge thank you to Jenna for having me. So, you may or may not know that Jenna and I were both certified through The Life Coach School, and we are in a Facebook group together filled with coaches who were certified through the school.

Jenna was so gracious to post in that group that she was looking for a black coach to be a guest host during Black History Month. I have to tell you, I saw that post very early on, almost as soon as she submitted it, and I literally scrolled right past it and kind of ignored it. A little while later, I logged on to Facebook and notice that someone had tagged me on the post, as if they were recommending that I put my name in a hat. And so, I did.

Now, I want to let you know that the reason why I ignored it initially, was because I thought someone else would be more worthy of the opportunity. And to be quite honest with you, this has been my biggest struggle as a black woman building a coaching business.

Before I get deeper into that, I want to tell you a little bit about me, my story, and who I help. Years ago, my husband and I, we struggled with our money. Our finances were literally a hot mess. We were really, really good at making money but we had trouble keeping it, and we were definitely not building wealth.

One of the things that really held me back was the fact that most of the personal finance experts at the time were preaching, “Stop buying so many lattes. Coupon. Put yourself on a strict budget. Eat rice and beans, Don't go to restaurants, and just pay off debt and struggle your way through.”

We had about $200,000 worth of debt at the time. And to me, that was going to take almost a decade to get out of. I couldn't fathom living my life like that for an entire 10-year period. Where we couldn't vacation. We couldn't do the things we love. So, I had this brilliant idea that maybe I could build wealth while enjoying my life at the same time.

My husband and I, we were able to pay off over $200,000 worth of debt. It did not take us 10 years, by the way. We have built a multiple six-figure net worth that grows literally every month. And we were able to build our dream home. I am so blessed to be able to live in the house I live in. I literally dreamed about this home, and we were able to build it from the ground up.

Now, we were able to do all of this while still enjoying life. We still traveled, we still made memories with our two boys, we still went on date nights, and we built our net worth. So, that is who I help.

I help women who are like me making lots of money; either in corporate America, or through building your own empire, maybe a professional, a doctor, a lawyer, a real estate agent. You're doing everything right. You're making all the money, but you're not keeping it. You're not building wealth. That is who I help.

Not only have I helped myself conquer this issue, but I've helped so many other women do it as well. And I do this without them having to sacrifice their lifestyle. So many women just avoid their money altogether because they think that they can't build wealth and enjoy life. That they can have fun and travel and buy nice things and do all the things that they really enjoy doing if they focus on their money.

They think that they have to choose between the two. I'm here to help them to realize, you actually don't, you can do both. You can build wealth and enjoy life at the same time. So, that is who I help.

I know that this mission is so important. I know this to my core. There are so many women suffering financially, even though they make amazing money, right? And so, I know that's who I'm here to help. I know that is my person. And yet, I struggled with putting myself out there and making offers to help women change their lives. You may be wondering why.

Well, it was because I didn't think I was good enough, or that I didn't belong in this coaching space simply because I was a woman of color. I know that so many of you amazing business women can relate to this, even if you're not a woman of color. Because let's be honest, women in general, we have been socialized to question our belonging, our worthiness, and our enoughness, especially when it comes to making money and having lots of it.

So, please hear me as I share this mindset shift about coming into alignment with who you really are, no matter what society or anyone else has to say about you. Here's what I want you to know. You are inherently worthy, adequate, amazing, enough, powerful, abundant, creative, and you belong anywhere you desire to be. You were born this way. This was something you were born with, and there's nothing you can do to change it.

Any thoughts that contradict these truths are simply lies. I often use this analogy with my clients whenever they're having negative thoughts, especially about themselves. I always remind them of “the battery.” All batteries have two sides, right? It has the positive charge and the negative charge.

I always remind them that their brain has evolved to always look for what's wrong. Or to focus on the negative side of the battery. The reason why your brain has evolved this way is because your ancestors had to survey the land and the environment all around them in order to survive. Literally, it was all about the survival of the fittest.

Their brain had to always be on the lookout for something that wasn't right. It needed to point out all the little negative things around them. And so, even today, your brain is doing that right now. But the other side of the story is this, that you have the ability to deliberately focus your brain on the positive side of the battery. Which is what I had to do when I was tagged in that Facebook post.

As I said earlier, this has been my struggle for a while, but I kind of thought I was over it. I thought I'd made my way through it. But now I know my brain is just a little bit more clever, and a little bit more subtle and sneaky, with how it likes to tell me ‘I'm not enough.’ So, the way it did it this time was, “Oh, someone else would be a better fit than you.”

I have to give my brain some credit because it has become a little nicer. It’s not just coming at me like, “You're not good enough. You don't know what you're doing. You don't belong.” Those were the three main sentences that my brain used to offer me. And now, it's coming in a little nicer, and I just need to be onto myself that it's still there.

And so, now I have the opportunity to question even the most subtle thoughts like, “Someone else may be a better fit than you.” And honestly, that's the beautiful thing about entrepreneurship and having your own business. It gives you the opportunity to come face to face with your worthiness.

When you're not putting yourself out there, when you're living within your comfort zone, you very rarely have to question your worthiness because you're in a comfort zone, you're not putting yourself in “harm's way.” Your brain is kind of quiet because you're living a status quo life.

But when you start to put yourself out there, when you start to step outside your comfort zone, when you start to share your message with the world, your brain perceives that as potential danger. And so, it offers all these thoughts like, “You're not good enough. You're not worthy. You don't know what you're doing, so go sit down.” And that is what I've noticed.

Because honestly, before I started my business, I never questioned my worthiness. But that doesn't mean that I didn't question it subconsciously. I truly believe I did. And putting myself in a position to be a business owner, to be giving value to the world, to be putting myself out there, I believe it brought up those questions to the surface.

Now I'm able to deal with it. And now I'm able to make sure that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I belong and that I am worthy. It has been a beautiful journey to really rediscover that about myself. That I am worthy. I am good enough. I am amazing. I am powerful. I am creative, and I belong anywhere that I want to be.

I want to offer that to you, as well. This entrepreneurial journey is way more than about the money, it is about who you become on the journey. I know that sounds so cliche, but it's so true. How you literally learn to love yourself, to have your own back, and to value yourself, is a great byproduct of being an entrepreneur.

So, now I want to give you a tactical exercise that you can engage in if you find yourself questioning if you are good enough, if you're worthy, or if you belong. This is a journaling exercise that I give to my clients when they are suffering from this line of thinking.

The first thing you want to do is think of a time when you held yourself back from doing something you wanted to do. That's the first thing, think about that time, and then write the circumstances of the situation. What was the opportunity that you passed up? What was the situation? What did you do, or what didn't you do?

Get all the details out. Once you have all of those details out, regarding the situation, simply ask yourself: Why? Why didn't I go after it? Why did I pass up that opportunity? Why? Then allow yourself to write, without editing, for three to five minutes. Just write, write, write. Let all those thoughts in your brain come out onto paper so that you can see what they are.

Once you've written them down, read what you wrote and find one, just one, negative thought about yourself. And then, once you identify that thought, and know that, “Oh my gosh, this is the reason why I didn't put myself out there. Because I was thinking I wasn't good enough. Because I was thinking someone else would be more well suited. I was thinking that I wasn't creative enough. I didn't have the credentials.”

Once you identify the thought, deliberately choose to focus on the positive side of “the battery.” That was the negative side, “You're not good enough, somebody else will be better.” Now you can deliberately and intentionally refocus and start to question that thought. I think all thoughts are questionable. Start to wiggle it around. Start to wonder if it's really true.

This exercise in itself will help you to start to identify what is holding you back. What are the thoughts you have about yourself that are holding you back from putting yourself out there in a bigger way? For charging what you want? For making offers? From helping the people that you are meant to serve?

So, this is the work that I have done. This is the work that I continue to do. As you can tell, I still have work to do. I've come a long way, and I'm so proud of myself for the progress that I've made. And I'm so happy for the experience of ignoring Jenna's post, because now I know, “Okay, brain, you're coming at this from a different angle now. You're coming at it from a ‘oh, well, let someone else do it because they may be more well suited.’”

It's just interesting, that again, this entrepreneurial journey is the best personal development class you can ever, ever take. And I'm so grateful and delighted to be on this journey.

So now, let's explore how we can look at this from a spiritual or energetic perspective. I think we can all get to a place where we can believe we are amazing and worthy and good enough. For some, you'll get there by just having the mindset shift that I offered earlier. By just deciding to believe you are worthy, adequate, and good enough.

For others, though, it may be more helpful to approach it from a more spiritual and energetic place, so here's what I'll offer you. Your worthiness has nothing to do with you. Your Creator embedded worthiness into your DNA when you were created. For me, that's God. For others, it’s the Universe.

With that knowledge, opening yourself up to just receiving your worthiness because it's already yours is inherent, it’s intrinsic, and it's a fact. It's an indisputable fact. So, if you believe it or not, you are worthy, so why not just believe it? You belong. You were meant to be here. The world is your oyster, so why not just open up and receive it on that energetic and spiritual level.

I hope this was helpful, and I would love to stay connected to you. There are two ways that we can connect. Number one is follow my podcast, it's called The Wealthy Woman's Podcast. And of course, it's by me, Germaine. My last name is Foley. You can also follow me on Instagram. My handle is @germainefoleycoaching. And if you go to the link in my bio there are further ways that we can connect.

So, I hope you all have a fabulous week. Bye-bye.

Hey, if you want true clarity about your secret sauce, your people, your best way of doing business, and how you talk about your offer, then I invite you to join us in the Clarity Accelerator. I'll teach you to connect all the dots, the dots that have always been there for you, so that you can show up like you were born for exactly this.

Come join us and supercharge every other tool or tactic you'll ever learn, from Facebook ads to manifestation. Just go to TheUncommonWay.com/schedule and set up a time to talk. I can't wait to be your coach.

Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity First strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.

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Ep #85: Black Women Entrepreneurs Share 3 Secrets to Success – Part 1 with Sade Curry

Episode Summary

Jenna invites Sade Curry to share how she moved beyond the ways that she was socialized to see herself and the way some other people saw her to discover her secret sauce.

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Show Notes

In celebration of Black History Month, I’m inviting two successful black women entrepreneurs and coaches to the podcast. This week, we are joined by Sade Curry to offer valuable insights and tips tailored specifically for women of color who own businesses. However, these tips will undoubtedly help all women business owners.

Sade has been a dating coach for five years who helps divorced women date with ease and find a partner that is right for them. She is certified in the Sedona method of emotional processing and holds certifications as a feminist coach and a life coach. Sade shares her unique journey from growing up in Nigeria to achieving success as a coach in the US, along with what helped her grow her business to its current stature.

Tune in to learn how embracing her secret sauce has been game-changing for Sade. Discover three tips she has implemented in her business to shift her mindset, improve sales and marketing, and effectively process her emotions to lean into abundance. Sade also shares how to navigate toward your goal when your current reality is not matching up with your desired state, and how she overcame societal perceptions to reshape her self-image and the way other people saw her.

What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

• Sade’s unique experience of entrepreneurship as a woman of color coming from a corporate background.

• What helped Sade navigate the pressure and challenges that come with building a business.

• How Sade’s embrace of her values, experiences, and different aspects of her life positively impacted her coaching business.

• Three tips to advance toward your business goals.

• The importance of having conversations. 

• How Sade found her secret sauce and her guidance to help you find your own.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

• If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.

• Click here to sign up for my newsletter and find out how the Connect The Dots Method has helped clients in all stages of their business.

• Get your questions ready for the upcoming free coaching on the website.

• Follow me on Instagram for behind-the-scenes content and daily value bombs!

• What’s been the most helpful episode? Comment on our Podcast Thread or DM me on Instagram.

• Click here to learn more about the Clarity Accelerator.

• Sade Curry: Website | Instagram | Facebook

• 50 Green Flags of a Healthy Partner for Divorced Women

• Ep #33: Turn Your Insecurities into Great Positioning

Full Episode Transcript:

Hey, as a special treat for Black History Month, I'm bringing in some successful black women entrepreneurs to share tips that are specifically for women of color who own businesses. But this information is wildly useful for all women business owners. As we do around here, they'll be sharing real tactics, great mindset tips… both of them are fantastic coaches… and an energetic tip.

I am beyond excited for what they have to share and how very useful I know it will be. In today's episode, you'll hear from Sade Curry, a dating coach for divorced women. I know you'll love hearing about how she moved beyond the ways that she was socialized to see herself and the way that some other people saw her.

She'll also share the mindset shift that helped her uncover her secret sauce and turn it into smart and a highly resonant messaging. And y'all, I swear I did not guide her on this, although it might sound similar to what we stand for, and help women lean into, here at The Uncommon Way.

So if you find yourself nodding along with Sade, but there's still some friction in your brain and you want to just keep hearing it in different ways to help you really absorb it, I'm linking to an episode in the show notes from this podcast. I don't want to share the title here right now and detract from Sade’s message, but you can find it if you want it.

Finally, she's going to share a very tactical energetic tip for moving from scarcity to abundance, or shifting any kind of desired energy closer to you, when your reality isn't quite matching up to your desired state. I can't wait to use this one and I know you'll want to also.

Before I sign off, Sade has created a great resource called 50 Green Flags of a Healthy Partner for Divorced Women. We're going to link to that too in the show notes so you can get your hands on it. Okay, enjoy this very valuable episode.

You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the podcast that helps women entrepreneurs get clear on signature offers and strategies that sell themselves so you can lean back and stop the hustle. You will learn to maximize your mindset, messaging and strategy, and step into the uncommonly successful business and life you are creating. Here's your host, top-ranked business coach and reformed over-analyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.

Hello, and welcome to Black History Month on The Uncommon Way Podcast. Thank you, Jenna, for the invitation to speak to your audience during Black History Month. Listeners, my name is Sade Curry, and I am a dating coach for divorced women. I help them date with ease and find a partner that is right for them after a divorce.

I have been doing this for about five years now. I'm also certified in the Sedona Method of emotional processing. I am a certified feminist coach and a certified life coach. It is just really a pleasure to be here today talking about building a business as a woman of color, as a woman of African descent, as a woman who has an accent living in the United States. It has just been a roller coaster ride.

First of all, starting a business is not for the faint of heart, we know that. And starting a business when you don't have examples in your immediate environment, in your family, is even harder. Then there can be this internalized pressure when you look and sound different from the arbitrary norm that surrounds you. You may not have generational wealth. You may not have family members investing or supporting your business.

For me, my journey was really in some ways unique to me, just like all of our journeys are. I was born in St. Louis, Missouri. My family went back to Nigeria when I was two years old. And then I came back to the United States when I was 21. I've been here now for about 25 years, so most of my adult life.

Growing up in Nigeria, I had the privilege of experiencing an environment where it was mostly merit based. I mean we had our challenges, right? There was a lot of nepotism, favoritism. However, just that unique experience of being identified by what you look like was not a thing that I experienced growing up. And so, that part of living in the Midwest, living in the United States, was a little bit of a culture shock for me.

So when I started my business, I had come out of the corporate world. I was working full time as an Information Technology Analyst. I started my business while I was working full time. I'd made about $40,000 in 2020 coaching divorced women; just on divorce, before I pivoted to coaching on dating.

When the George Floyd crisis happened, the way my company handled it was just a little bit not great. Let’s just put it that way, it wasn't great. That was when I decided to just take a leap. I was like, “I've made $40K, I think I can do this.” And so, I made the leap to go full time in my business.

Up until that point, I didn't really see myself as a woman of color building a business. I was just building a coaching business based on my experiences as a divorced person, and dating, and healing. But when I stepped out into the coaching world, some of my own internalized oppression started coming out.

It wasn't so much that anyone said anything to me or anyone did anything to me. It was just years of being socialized as a person of color, years of growing up in an environment where colonization was the overarching narrative, and years of being socialized as a woman. All of that began coming out.

Because what happens when you are in business is that you face obstacles, everyone faces these obstacles. You face pressure, you have to learn how to sell, you’ve got to learn how to market, you’ve got to learn how to identify the value that you bring, you have the ups and downs of ‘am I making money this month? Am I not making money this month?’

My theory is, that what our brain does when it faces a challenge, it doesn't like it, and then it tries to explain what is causing the challenge. And so, my brain went into, “Well, you must be facing these challenges because…” and then it dug deep into the way that I had been socialized, my internalized oppression, and my own self-doubt about who I was to explain the challenges I was facing.

And so, I've had to work through that. I've had to work through looking at myself differently from the way I was socialized to look at myself. At looking at myself differently from the way sometimes other people look at me. And really grounding myself in my own value and the value that I bring to my clients. Letting that voice be the strongest voice in my business.

The voice that reassures me that I have value, that I bring value, and that I am good at what I do. Grounding myself in the evidence that my clients get results, and my clients love the work that I do. Working really hard to drown out sources outside of myself that want to tell me otherwise, and sources inside of myself that wants to tell me otherwise.

So today, I am here to share with you three things that I have done in my business, that I have done in my mindset; a way that I believe about myself that has helped me in my business. One tactical tip for sales and marketing that I continue to lean into in my business. And one energetic tip that I continue to use to process my emotions, to lean into the abundance that exists in the world as it relates to my business.

The first thing I want to share with you is my mindset, my mindset tip. That is, that your secret sauce is your uniqueness. I'm sure most, if not all, of you listening have heard this before. That your differences are your differentiator. That is easy to hear that, and yeah, that's true. We look at people who are more successful in business or we look at celebrities, and we're like, “Yes, their differences are their differentiator. This person fully owned who they were.”

It's one thing to look at someone who's made it all the way to millions or even billions of dollars and agree that their uniqueness helped them along the way. It's quite another to look at yourself and to listen to that voice inside of your head and say, “You know what? My uniqueness is the secret sauce in my business.” It can be a little bit of a journey.

And so, I want to share with you how I have really taken my brain from that place where it continually doubted that my uniqueness was my differentiator to fully believing it and fully leaning into it. So, a little bit of an example in my personal story is the fact that I am a dating coach, and there is a certain brand expectation around being a dating coach. I am none of those things I am.

I'm an Enneagram 3, which is the ambitious woman. I studied engineering in college, and I worked in IT for decades. I am basically your practical, no nonsense, get-it-done kind of woman. I did not wear makeup until my 30s. I love to wear jeans, sweatpants, hoodies, blazers, dresses. I do wear dresses, but they're not really my thing.

And so, I started out in my business really feeling like I was this unsexy dating coach. I just couldn't bring myself to step into the lush, feminine… I don't know, whatever it is that I thought a dating coach was supposed to look like. I couldn't get myself all the way to that look, that feel. I couldn't embody that “be in your feminine energy” thing, it just wasn't me. I felt like that was going to harm me in my business and as a dating coach.

But I knew that I could help women meet a partner, I had done it. And I had done it consciously. When I went into the dating world, it was a whole shit show for about six months, and then I sat down and said, “I can do this better.” I really thought through how I wanted to do it better.

What I brought to that process was, “Okay, what if I just made it a pipeline? What if I just made it a process?” Which are all the things that I did in my workplace. And that's how I solved the problem. I used words like “troubleshoot your dating journey.” That was my value. The fact that I was an engineer, I was an IT analyst, I created process diagrams all day long on the job. That was the thinking that solved the dating problem for me.

And so, I leaned all the way into it. I leaned all the way into bringing engineering thinking into the dating process. Now, of course, I still lean into the relationship side of things, the romance, all of that because women want, some women want, some of that.

However, the core of the value that I bring is my experience and the way that I think. And when I embraced it and leaned all the way into it, my business really leveled out and became more consistent. It was easier for me to write content because I was simply writing what I was thinking. It was easier for me to explain how I helped women date, because I simply said exactly what I was going to do you and how I was going to do it.

I stopped trying to add in flowery language. I stopped trying to make it seem sexy and romantic. I stopped trying to portray this fairy tale idea, and simply presented my process as it was, and presented myself as I was. I will tell you, it has made all the difference in my business.

The last three years, 2021 through 2023, I have made over $100,000 in revenue each of those years. Ranging from $120,000 to about $150,000 something every year. I can consistently create that because I am not trying to be someone that I'm not.

So, I'd like to say, sit with who you are. Find the evidence. Literally sit down and make a list of everything that you are; good, bad, the parts you accept, the parts you don't accept. Look at that list and find the parts of you that your clients need. The parts of you that you are bringing into your business, but you are afraid to actually verbalize and say that you are bringing this to your business.

Spend time in it. Look at the evidence. Embody it, and do the work to be okay with it. Branding and positioning is not about changing yourself to look a certain way. It's about taking who you are, exactly as you are, and then presenting it in a way that your clients understand. Showing them the evidence that you have found that this is exactly what they need. When you believe in your value, they also will catch that belief and believe in your value as well.

The second thing I'd like to share with you is just a practical tactical business tip. Which, again, very commonplace, nothing new, but I want to show you how I've used it in my business.

We all know that relationships are everything. Relationships are everything in life and in business. Now, what builds relationships? Communication. I want to encourage you to have conversations. Have conversations with other humans.

In my business, I have listed conversations as the leading indicator of my sales. So when I am having conversations, I know that I am filling my pipeline with people who will either hire me, or who will refer me to someone who will hire me. That is how I look at conversations. And that makes business so easy for me because I love talking to people. I love having conversations.

Now, I am an extrovert, so I do like having conversations in person. However, I don't have a lot of conversations in person. I don't do a lot of networking. In fact, I don't leave my house much. My husband, who is an introvert, leaves the house way more than I do, and socializes with people in person way more than I do.

I tend to focus my personal relationships on a very small number of people, that I'm very close to, that I can go really deep with. But in my business, I have a ton of conversations online. Now, I've come to this arrangement, so to speak, partly because of where I live. My community, my environment didn't feed my business the way I wanted it to. There’s just not a lot of coaches or people into personal development in the area that I live.

And so, I leaned into the online world to find the people that I wanted to have conversations with. So, I constantly reach out to my fellow coaches, my online friends, for connection calls. I have conversations over Zoom. When I post content, I will engage in the comments. I will share value.

And I know most of you may have heard about, “Okay, go into groups and share value with people and things like that.” I like to look at it slightly differently. I just like to think about it as just joining the conversation. Because there can be a lot of pressure on the idea of sharing value, “Now I've got to like create this thing. And it has to be valuable to this person.” I like to lower the bar for me to participate in a conversation.

When I am scrolling online I'm like, “Oh, do I have a thought about this? Do I have an idea about this? Is there a way to go with this?” I will simply join the conversation. And that has been such a blessing to my business, to just have conversations.

I have conversations that I enjoy. I participate in conversations that I enjoy. I connect with people. People get to know who I am, I get to know who they are. I refer my fellow coaches to people, and other people refer me to others. It's just a really wonderful way to make friends and do business.

So, I want to encourage you to have conversations. I don't want to call it “networking.” I don't want to call it “giving value.” Just have conversations. Just say something; reply to something. Ask yourself: How do I like to have conversations? Which conversations do I enjoy? Where do I like to go to have conversations?

Sit down and brainstorm. Just make a list and then lean into that. These conversations don't have to be around your business specifically. Again, it's all about relationships. It's all about connecting with people. And these relationships will become the lifeblood of your business, one way or another.

And even if you're using webinars or you are using a funnel, or you are using an email list to build your business, think about all of those things not as this dry, stark technology that you're trying to use to make sales. Think of every email as a conversation starter. Think of every webinar as a group conversation. Reframing all of these business tactics into conversations, I think will really bring life to your sales and marketing process.

Now, finally, I want to share with you an energetic tip. As a person of color, looking out into the world and not seeing a ton of examples of someone like me building the kind of business that I want to build, I think there becomes this internalized feeling or narrative that what I am going for, that my goal is far away. “That it's way off in the distance. It's way off in the future. I’ve got to hustle, I’ve got to grind, I’ve got to stay in it. And who knows if I will ever achieve it?”

And every day can start to feel like that. Like you're in there, and you're doing the work and you're building, and it still seems far away. I want to talk to you about energetically bringing it closer. Because the truth is, you're probably closer than you think. This is something that has happened over and over and over again in my business.

Where I will think, “Oh, my goodness, I took so many weeks off/I had this personal crisis, and I wasn't marketing like I usually do. I wasn't writing content like I usually do. And now it's going to take me three months to get back on track and make the next sale/sign the next client.”

And when I coach myself and work through my thoughts and feelings, or when I am able to readjust and reframe my perspective, I find out that my next client was just right there. Right? I'll give you an example of… actually this happened January of 2024, so just last month. I went on a two weeks retreat. I was at an off-the-grid silent retreat. We couldn't have phones, computers, we were cut off from the outside world completely for two weeks.

Before I went on this retreat, I had done a one-week launch. I had just done a launch and sold my group program. But during the launch, I had taken down my one-on-one coaching consultation link, because I wanted to drive all of my traffic to my group program.

So I had taken down the link, and the whole time I was at the retreat, I was thinking, “Oh good, I can't wait to get back and see a bunch of consultations on my calendar.” And then, to my disappointment, I came back and there was not a single consultation on my calendar.

Of course, I started to troubleshoot this and I found out that I had forgotten to put my consultation link back up. I was like, “Ah, great. Of course, I forgot to do that.” I put it back up and then settled myself into a, I don't know, two to three weeks wait while I ramped things up again and people would put consultations on my calendar.

What was so hilarious about what happened, is that I'm on Facebook posting content, having conversations, and I get a Facebook DM. Someone says, “Hey, how do I book a consultation with you? I've been trying to, and I haven't been able to.” I was like, “Oh, actually I just put my consultation link back up. It was down for a while.” She was like, “Oh, great.”

So I sent her the link, she books a consultation, and during the consultation she says, “Hey, I've been following you for three years. I was kind of thinking I could do the dating scene on my own. But I think at this point, I realized that it's going to take me forever to do it. So, I'm ready to work with you.” She came to the consultation call ready to work with me.

The whole time I was at the retreat, and thinking, “Oh great, now that my consultation link was down, I needed to ramp up to sign another client,” that client was already waiting. And so, I told that story to illustrate that your next sale, your next client, your next level in business, is probably closer than you think.

And believing that, and leaning into that feeling can make it faster for your brain to navigate its way to connecting you with that. So, one way that I do that release, or that shifting energetically, is one of the tools in the Sedona Method that I facilitate. It's called “holistic releasing.” What you do is, you take your current emotion, typically a negative one, and you lean into it all the way for 10 or 15 seconds.

Then you flip to allowing in just a little bit of the emotion that speaks to your goal being closer than you want it to be. I'll give you an example. Let's say scarcity and abundance. So scarcity, which is the feeling of ‘I don't have enough money, there's not enough money, there's not enough clients, I'm never going to make it, there's not enough XYZ.’

That has a feeling, an emotion, a sensation in your body attached to it. And so, if you find yourself in those thoughts and that emotional state, the release calls you to allow it to come in. Allow yourself to feel it in your body. You can ask the question: Can I allow myself to feel scarcity as much as I do? Just let your body open up to that emotion for about 10 seconds.

And then, you ask another question: Can I allow myself to feel the possibility that there is abundance? You just titrate a tiny bit of abundance. If that's all you can allow in is just a tiny, little thimbleful of abundance, you allow yourself to do that for just 5 or 10 seconds. Then you flip back to the scarcity, which is the dominant emotion in that moment, for 5 or 10 seconds, and then you flip back to abundance. Flip back to the scarcity, flip back to the abundance.

What that practice does, is it actually neutralizes the scarcity. It brings you more to that center, to that middle of the road, what some schools of Buddhism call “equanimity,” which is balance. Because the world really is sort of balanced, right? I like to say, I want to be on the positive side of neutral, for most things. Because most things are on the positive side of neutral.

And so, that little release, flipping back and forth between a very heightened, chronic negative emotion you might be feeling, flipping from that to just a little bit of the positive emotion, back to the negative emotion you're feeling, will help ground you. It will help bring you back to neutral. It will give you the space in your brain and in your emotions to have some clarity around whatever the issue is.

Finally, I just want to encourage you. As a person of color, I want to say, you know, we bring so much value to this world. We bring so much value to our clients. And even if you're not a person of color listening to this, every human brings something to the table. There is a reason each and every one of us is here.

Lean into that. Lean into the value that you bring. Lean into your uniqueness. Lean into your calling, your purpose. Lean into the reason you started your business in the first place. You wanted to bring this gift into the world. You wanted to bring this thing that didn't exist before. Because when you do it, it's never existed before in the way that you bring it to the table.

Something inside of you called you to bring your business into the world. So, I want to just encourage you to not give up on that. Right? We need way more diversity in the business world. We need way more diversity in the coaching world.

So, if you are called to help others, if you are called to participate in this value exchange where you bring your gift to the world and you receive fair compensation for it, I hope you will keep pursuing that dream. I hope you will leave your own footprints for future generations to walk in.

Thank you so much for your time today. Thank you so much for your attention, and Happy Black History Month.

Hey, if you want true clarity about your secret sauce, your people, your best way of doing business, and how you talk about your offer, then I invite you to join us in the Clarity Accelerator. I'll teach you to connect all the dots, the dots that have always been there for you, so that you can show up like you were born for exactly this.

Come join us and supercharge every other tool or tactic you'll ever learn, from Facebook ads to manifestation. Just go to TheUncommonWay.com/schedule and set up a time to talk. I can't wait to be your coach.

Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity First strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.

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Ep #84: The Surprising Secret to Finding and Attracting Dream Clients Over and Over

Episode Summary

Jenna shares a smart and simple way to attract the clients you want to work with.

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Show Notes

If you are in a situation where you’re not attracting the number or quality of clients that you want, you might think that the solution is to do more. You might ask yourself, “What action can I take?” However, this approach often becomes a drain on your time and leads to overwork and overwhelm.

This week's episode is intended to help you attract more clients, especially those you dream of working with. I discuss the simplest and wildly effective ways to find and attract your ideal clients, and I talk tactics, mindsets, and energetics.

Tune in to learn how to work smarter rather than harder, so you can lean back more and hustle less. Discover the common painful pitfall that even multiple six and seven-figure entrepreneurs fall into, so you can avoid it. I also share the type of energy that kills consistency and how to recognize if you're experiencing it.

What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

• How to get clear on the people you want to work with. 

• What potentially blocks you from attracting your ideal clients.

• Why you need to know what’s important to your target audience.

• How to avoid overwhelm and overwork by working smarter.

• What the common pitfall entrepreneurs fall into is.

• What effectively attracts your clients.

Listen to the Full Episode:

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• Get your questions ready for the upcoming free coaching on the website.

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• Click here to learn more about the Clarity Accelerator.

Full Episode Transcript:

If you’ve felt frustrated bringing in clients or finding and attracting ideal clients, you are not alone. But because it brings up that frustration, we start trying to solve for it in ways that lead us further from what does actually work, which, it turns out, is really simple and wildly effective.

You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the podcast that helps women entrepreneurs get clear on signature offers and strategies that sell themselves so you can lean back and stop the hustle. You will learn to maximize your mindset, messaging, and strategy, and step into the uncommonly successful business and life you are creating. Here's your host, top-ranked business coach and reformed over-analyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.

Hey, hey, everyone. Welcome back to The Uncommon Way, I'm so glad you're here. Today's episode is meant to help you bring in more clients, and specifically those that are a dream to work with. I will help you reorient yourself to the most important thing to focus on, so you know what really matters, and then you can keep calling them in over and over again.

You know how when you're hiking the trails have different colors, and sometimes you're walking along and you realize you’ve veered onto a completely different path? That's kind of what's going on here for a lot of you. I want to help you get back onto the yellow path, let's say.

And in the process of doing that, you are going to find out how to work smarter, not harder, so you can lean back more and hustle less. You’ll learn the painful pitfall, that even multiple six- and seven-figure entrepreneurs fall into, that you will now hopefully avoid.

I'll tell you exactly what to do if you're hearing people say the opposite of what you want to hear. And I'll share the type of energy that is a consistency killer and how to know if you're in it.

I have some exciting news. First, I found this really cool software that allows me to talk to podcast listeners, we'll have it loaded up soon. But I just wanted to give you the heads up that soon you're going to be able to send me audios or type in questions, however you want, about specific things that are happening in your business. And I will be able to give you and all the other listeners free coaching.

As per usual, I will be giving you a tactical tip, a mindset tip, and a tip that has to do with energetics. So, start thinking about that and getting your questions ready because that should be coming within the next month.

And now, some personal news. You know how entrepreneurs will say things like, “And then I retired my partner, it was so emotional,” and they'll start weeping? It's kind of cheesy, right? Well, I had something similar happen in my life recently.

I have decided to share it with you because even though I find those things cheesy, I know that deep down the more and more evidence that I can build for myself about what's possible, and about the benefits of walking this often difficult path of entrepreneurship that I'm walking, the more evidence that I create for myself, the better.

And so, I'm going to contribute to that body of evidence by sharing this story. If you've been with me for a while, you might remember that my husband, Ben, is retiring from active-duty military service this summer. They retire very young in the military, but he is actually retiring a couple years earlier than he otherwise would if I didn't have the successful business. I don't know if I've shared that yet, but that's true.

We have decided, when he retires and we have location independence, that we are moving to Spain. So again, I don't know if I’ve shared that that was definitive, we did actually make the decision.

We found an amazing school for Dylan, and that was really the piece that had to fall into place. He will be learning four languages. The school is right near the beach, and they can walk down to the beach and do different marine biology lessons. There's a sailing club where they get to learn sailing, and they have a pool. It's just a really beautiful experience that I'm so excited about for him.

But we're flying over next week to start looking for houses, and we know we want to rent for the first year or two to really get to know the island and find out exactly where we want to live. We would like it to be furnished because we don't want to move all of our things over right away. And let me tell ya, rental prices on Majorca are not cheap.

I've noticed it causing Ben a little bit of anxiety. Because you’ve got to remember you all, he has had a steady paycheck his entire life. He's never even switched jobs; not even momentary periods without a paycheck. The military does give you a housing stipend. So, the fact that he's retiring, he'll have lower income because of it, and is faced with these rental prices, that's naturally kind of daunting.

What I finally realized I could do was, I said, “Honey, you know what? I'm withdrawing the money from the business. I'll put it aside, in an account, in order to pay for an entire year of rent for us, so that we don't have to compromise on where we are going to live, or what type of house we're going to live in. And so, that it's nothing that we have to even worry about. Done. Paid. Off our plates.”

That sense of deep security, I'm sure all of you can relate to how it just can't be under emphasized. But on top of that, I still remember the day when I overheard my husband and his dad talking on speakerphone. Ben was saying, “Yeah, Jenna's working on a new website. She's revamping her website.” His dad said, “Oh, yeah? How much is that going to cost you now?”

I remember that piercing feeling, that I'm sure any of you high-performing, independent women can relate to. Maybe you, like me, grew up saying you would never be dependent on a man, and you would always make sure that you were your own breadwinner. And to be in that situation, carrying a lot of debt from what I put into my business, and also not contributing to the family income…

Even though we were, of course, in a place of privilege where we were living very humbly, but we didn't need me to be contributing a salary in order to survive. So, to go from that situation that was eating me up to fast forward a few years where I'm able to say, “Honey, don't worry, I got this. The rent is paid for the year.” I mean, it just feels amazing. The moral of the story here is that there is no better investment, I'm convinced, than a woman with a burning drive inside of her.

Alright, my friends, let's get down to business, shall we? As we always do, we'll be talking tactics, mindset, and energetics. Because that combination is fire when it comes to your business. Now, typically, when we're faced with a situation where we're not bringing in the number of clients that we want, or the quality of clients that we want, our reaction is to do more, right?

And even if it's not “more” in terms of putting out more Instagram posts, or doing more webinars, or whatever it is, it's context switching. So, having to learn something new and test it and gain mastery, and possibly invest in order to learn it, that's still “more” y’all.

That's where our brain moves to, ‘what kind of action can I take?’ But that is a net drag on your time. It leads to so much overwork and overwhelm, and unfortunately, some women even dropping out of business. Again, it's a natural consequence, right? Nothing's gone wrong, there's no shame about this. It's a natural consequence of that uncomfortable feeling of frustration or hopelessness that then triggers our fears.

Our mind starts getting involved. “What if this isn't going to work? What if it's always going to be like this? What am I doing wrong? There must be something wrong with me? Maybe I'm not cut out for this. I've gone as far as I can go. I obviously can't break this plateau and reach the next one.” And that activates our nervous system so that we spin into action, which is the modern-day manifestation of our fight response.

But I am here to tell you, it's not the most efficient, or expeditious way to your goal of a booked-out business filled with amazing clients. Because the truth is, you can find clients anywhere. Deep down, you know this. Your next client could be your neighbor's cousin. They could be the stranger you meet in line at the coffee shop. Or the person whose post you comment on in a Facebook group.

And yes, the person who finds you on Instagram or through an ads funnel, those are both amazing tools and strategies that my clients utilize. But you are not dependent on any one of them. And it doesn't mean that another one will necessarily be better for you.

By the way, doing more of something that isn't working for you, doesn't mean it's going to start working either. You know, I wrote blogs for three months and it didn't bring in any clients. Then I kept writing them for nine months, and guess what? Still no clients.

There's this great interview with Trevor Noah, he's interviewing Oprah. And he's saying something like, what is the common denominator that indicates that people are going to reach their goals? And Oprah says the common denominator is knowing what they want.

Most people don't know what they want. They're too busy in their heads thinking about what they should do, or what so and so wants them to do, or they're filled with stories of what they always thought they should do. But they aren't bothering to ask, “What do I want?” And create that clarity, and then make sure that every single decision aligns with that.

Actually, on Monday, I’m going to be posting this clip on Instagram. So you can check it out there. It is very powerful when she speaks. And let me paraphrase that in a way that applies to this topic today. Clarity creates attraction. I'll say it again, clarity creates attraction.

In this podcast, I'm going to be breaking down for you how that's true on a tactical level, a mindset level and energetic level. But basically, it's like a gravitational pull, or a candle in the darkness, however you want to look at it. It is literally the most powerful thing, I would argue, in the universe: human consciousness. And specifically, clarity of consciousness toward a particular objective.

I just finished delivering a new training for the Clarity Accelerator, and it's on the topic of reinventing ourselves. We're talking burn the bridges, caterpillar-to-butterfly reinvention, not just incremental change. One of the things I said was, what could possibly be a more significant thing to do with our lives than create possibilities, and then live into them? And for that, preach it Oprah, we need clarity.

You need to know exactly who these clients are and who they are not. I can't tell you how many times I speak with people who tell me they're clear on who their clients are, but they're talking about some broad demographic niche. They don't understand that within that there are so many different psychographic properties. Psychographic, meaning psychological.

There are so many different hopes and dreams and motivators, and comfort with risk, and comfort with spending, and motivations. All of this needs to be taken into account. You need to know what's important to your people. Because only when you're that clear can you call them in and say no to the ones who aren't the right fit.

So, on a tactical level, it might seem very straightforward to you. Your messaging is clear. Your messaging is calling in those people and none other, because your people need it. Very, very few people are tuned in enough to their intuition that they'll move forward if the logical part of their brain isn't satisfied, it doesn't feel reassured. So this is how you speak to that logical side.

People who are looking for clarity arrive at my website and see me saying “I can help you create this laser sharp clarity.” And the logical part of their brain goes, “Great. That's what I was looking for. And, she offers it.” But there's much more depth in my messaging too, that helps them resonate with it and know that this is the place for them. And that is what inspires them to book a call so quickly with me.

Now, that's very different than the person who says, “Maybe I want to work with these people. But I also want to work with those people. And I don't want to rule out these other people because they could be good client,” and then their language really speaks to no one. Again, if you are not clear, they're not clear.

This holds true for your offer, as well. If you're like, “Well, we could kind of do this, or we could kind of do that,” your people aren't going to know if this offer is for them. Again, that creates frustration when you aren’t easily attracting in clients. And that stress response pushes us into hustling into action.

Again, I've seen this with new entrepreneurs and seven-figure entrepreneurs; hustling into action, rather than what we really need to do, which is get quiet, focus in, make some powerful decisions, hopefully guided in large part by your intuition, with a full complement of smart business sense.

Because guess what? At the end of the day, all the marketing in the world can't make up for a lack of clarity. I can see it immediately when I read someone's messaging, I can see how clear they are. And your clients may not be business coaches that are lasering in on that, but they feel it. They feel it, they're not finding the resonance, and that uncertainty for them translates into going another way. Or hanging out, just to be sure. Just to try and get sure.

Again, go to my website if you want to see this in action. Specifically, the Work With Me page, the Services page, of the Clarity Accelerator, because that is what ranks so well on Google. And it ranks well because people stick around and read it.

It's telling you exactly who you are, in what situation you're in, what your hopes and dreams are, what I will help you accomplish, and how I'm going to help you accomplish that. It's all right there on the page. There's both that conscious and subconscious resonance that helps people say, “This feels right, I think I want to talk more.”

On the mindset level, because you know who your people are, because you've done the work to clear out the limiting beliefs that say maybe you couldn't work with those people, or maybe there aren't enough of those people, or maybe those people would never work with you. Because you've created that strong, clear mindset you aren't blocking your ideal clients through being really grasping and weird in your messaging or on your discovery calls.

You don't have hidden agendas, that on the one hand have you beckoning someone in, but with the other hand giving them the big ole stop sign, and telling them don't come any closer.

Such as, “Deep down, I feel out of integrity offering this to you. So, I want to get more clients, but please don't actually become a client because I don't want to compromise my integrity. I'm not really sure I'd be able to help you in the way I'm saying I could help you. I'm thinking I want these independent clients, but really, deep down, I believe I need to save people. And so, I'm unconsciously calling in people that need to be saved and will be challenging to work with.”

So you're not wasting your time with the wrong people, or on the wrong strategies… I know I've shared this before, but I had a friend in a mastermind with me. And when she hopped on sales calls, people tended to say they didn't have the money, and she found that so frustrating. She thought her problem was that she needed to learn to better overcome objections.

So, she was doing all this work on how to overcome objections and analyzing every single second and detail of that call, once it happened, to find out where she broke into being less effective with her objections. She was spending so much time on this, when it was clear to me that those people were not her aligned people.

She was an executive coach and was specifically speaking to women much further down on the executive ladder. They weren't executives, in fact. She was an executive coach but that her mindset was leading her to target non-executives, and then wondering why there was this disconnect. But the people she was talking to, they didn't have skin in the game. They didn't believe they could become executives. And so, they didn't have that burning level of commitment yet.

Okay, let's talk about energetics, because this is where it gets really, really juicy. In fact, I'm going to recommend that you listen to this section twice. Remember, I said earlier that clarity creates attraction. Of course, you become attractive on a tactical level. You become attractive on a mindset level… I forgot to mention this… because you show up more confidently and with more conviction knowing who you're for and who you're not for. You don't have that graspiness and that need to please everybody and be everything for everybody. You can be you for your people. And that is very attractive.

But there's also attraction as in the law of attraction. Because, are you ready for this? It's not actually the words of your copy, the words of your messaging, that calls in your clients. Yes, it can all help their logical brain feel safer once they get to you. But what calls it in is your clarity.

The words are a reflection of your clarity, nothing more. They are your sign to the universe that ‘hey, this is what I want. Bring me more of this, please.’ And the universe wants to know what to bring you. But if you're not clear, it's not clear.

When you, in your head, are bouncing around from this possibility to that possibility, from this strategy to that strategy, it is chaotic energy, and you get chaos coming back to you. You get all sorts of rando clients saying all sorts of things. You can tell I'm a heart-centered person when I call people randos, right?

No, but seriously, this chaotic energy is a consistency killer. You will know if you're in it if you're seeing chaos in your business. And if you're not seeing chaos, but you are seeing a steady stream of something you don't want, then guess what you have to do? You have to say no. I get it.

I get it, it's hard when you don't have the booked-out business, when your brain is still telling you you're not there yet. I get that it's hard to say no to something that's not for you.

There are degrees and levels in there with this. I’ve talked to a lot of my earlier entrepreneurs, where they're wondering,” Am I getting a little too picky?” And so, I would take this on a case-by-case basis with my clients, to understand where their growth edge is and to understand where their mindset is about these clients.

If they're in a completely clean place, and they just are practicing working with different types of people, great. But if they're taking on these people out of scarcity, or out of disbelief that they could really help the people they want to help, then you bet we're going to have a conversation about that.

Because one of the most powerful things that you can do is say no. That just helps the Universe see, okay, it's finally sunk in for her. She's finally clear that she is no longer going to serve these kinds of people. We don't have to keep bringing them to her to help her understand that.

It's just like women that have the loser boyfriends, and then they keep dating the loser guys until finally they say no. Even though they don't have anyone to warm their bed at night. And even though, “Meh, what could it hurt? A little longer.”

When they start saying no, and definitively draw that line in the sand, then the Universe can start sending them a different type of person. And they're now at a frequency that can easily attract that kind of person. Again, our outside world is usually a reflection of our inner world, in many, but not all, cases.

I just caution you to bring your brain to where that is true. Because of course, the natural tendency is to be like, “Well, it's not true in this case. That is not true in that case. And it's not true in this other case.” Quiet that comment, give it a steno pad and a note and a pen, so that can jot down all the places where this isn't true.

Instead, redirect your energy to how this is true. When has it been true in your life, that you have drawn a line in the sand in some way, and then had fewer of those types of events or people reoccur for you? It's so fun, because Oprah actually says this too, in the clip that I'm going to post. She's like, “The reason people's lives are so chaotic is because they're chaotic up here,” and she taps her forehead.

So again, you can see that on Instagram @theuncommonway on Monday. But luckily, when you see these patterns within yourself, when you know what's coming up, you can pivot quickly.

Just to give you a couple of examples of what I've been talking about in this energetic section, is the completely unexplainable, in any other way unexplainable, fact that the types of clients that come to me through Google change over time based on my mindset, and based on my clarity and my desire of who I want to bring in.

Sometimes there can be slight lags when things are readjusting, but I have seen this again and again, and I really haven't changed the copy. In fact, I didn't change a word of copy, for a year or more, when I was specifically working on energetics with myself.

So, I would only change my mind. And again, this is why, a big reason why, I wasn't spending time and I didn't have any movement on social media. We repurpose podcasts and things on social media, but I was not on there at all. That ad account was a dead. If you scroll back far enough, you'll see a family photo of me with Ben, and Dylan when he was young, and the dog.

It's sort of like, “Alright, y'all, we’re in COVID now and I'm suspending this account for a bit. I'm doing these other things.” And then two years… I don't remember how long went by until I came back on there. My business continued to grow in that time.

Now, the types of clients that I was bringing on through Google in the beginning were people that felt really scared about even paying, I think it was like $2,500 for a coach, for private coaching. Remember, I had been a coach for years by this point.

If you don't know the story, what happened is that when COVID hit, I decided I no longer had any interest in being the business coach who was like, “You can still make sales even when the economy's tanking. Come on, sell, sell, sell.”

Really, what I cared about was this huge shift that people were going to be going through when they were really confronted with ‘all right now in the face of this huge upheaval of COVID, what really matters to me? What do I really want to do?’

I knew people would be feeling that call to clarity, and I wanted to answer that call. Again, the reason that I went back to business coaching is because I realized that I had to, in order to walk my talk about decision making from the point of view of ‘who are the best people in the world to create this kind of vision that I want to create?’

I realized that would be entrepreneurs. Because if I'm helping people create this very uncommon life, and uncommon way of living based on their unique choices, that's vastly more difficult if you're in a corporate environment where other people are calling the shots, and you only have a couple of weeks’ vacation a year.

It actually made more sense for me to work with entrepreneurs who were already taking steps in that direction, that already had a longing for that anyway. And then, I could help them develop the resources and the mindset in order to really go do it.

But in the beginning, I didn't fully believe that anyone would pay me for business coaching unless I was writing all of the copy for them; for their websites, for their Instagram posts, for everything. Because that's what I'd been doing in the past. And so, because of that, I was drawing in tentative people who reflected my uncertainty.

Now, fast forward a year or two, and this was in the past, but I remember when my first seven-figure entrepreneur came through that very same page asking for my help. That was a $25,000 client. Not that premium pricing is in any way better than other pricing; and $2,500 is still a premium price. There's a majority of people in the world would never be able to afford it. But it was right for me.

I'm talking about it here to highlight the difference in people that came through the same words. So again, the words reflect your clarity, and they help you create that logical resonance for people, that safety on the logical side. But it is not what calls the people in to you. What calls the people in to you is your gravitational center. I'm not the only one that can do this, I promise.

I have a client, and I asked her, “If you were on your deathbed, and you were looking back, what’s something that you would wish you’d dedicated yourself to more?” She said environmental causes. And within a week, a client came in whose business was working to improve the environment.

And so, I encourage you to at least just play with this. Make a bold declaration, follow it up with some proof of action, where you're either writing something different, or you are willing to say no to something in the past. Show the Universe that you're serious, and tell me what comes back. I want to know.

All right, before we end, I'm going to share one bit of inspiration, as I do, from a powerful woman who decided to make a change in her life. Here's exactly what was going on in her head, and it speaks to so much of what I've been saying here. Here's what she said when she joined the Clarity Accelerator.

“I knew going into this that I needed someone to help guide me and provide clarity that I just can't get on my own. I've tried so hard to build a successful business by myself, and I keep failing because I'm running my head against a wall of my own ego, fears, and limiting beliefs. I realized that if I wasn't willing to do this, then I would need to suck it up and find a regular job. Yuck. Happening upon you, who so clearly spoke my language on your website, in podcasts, and then in person, was just an absolute yes.”

Okay, my friends, that is what I want for you too. No matter where you are in business, we can all use more of those kinds of people coming into our sphere. I wish you so, so much success, and deep fulfillment and enjoyment as you call in your soul aligned clients whom you are meant to meet and help, just as they are meant to meet and help you.

Alright, my friends, have a wonderful week. Remember, you know who you are, and each day you're stepping further into what you're here to create.

Hey, if you want true clarity about your secret sauce, your people, your best way of doing business, and how you talk about your offer, then I invite you to join us in the Clarity Accelerator. I'll teach you to connect all the dots, the dots that have always been there for you, so that you can show up like you were born for exactly this.

Come join us and supercharge every other tool or tactic you'll ever learn, from Facebook ads to manifestation. Just go to TheUncommonWay.com/schedule and set up a time to talk. I can't wait to be your coach.

Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity First strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.

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Ep #83: Creating $10K Months by Learning to Love Sales and Your Offer with Amanda Popovski

Episode Summary

Jenna and Amanda discuss how to create $10k months by learning how to love sales and your offer.

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Show Notes

Would you love to hit $10k per month in your business but don’t enjoy selling? Does the simple thought of selling feel painful? Do you sigh when you see a sales conversation marked in your calendar?

I’m thrilled to welcome back Amanda Popovski to the podcast this week. Amanda is a coach and a member of my Clarity Accelerator who used to share the same dislike for selling. The last time she was here, she was just starting her coaching business, and when we left off, she was ready to go. In January, she hit $10k in one month. This week, we dive into what changed for Amanda and how she transformed from not being a fan of selling to becoming a sales cheerleader.

Tune in to hear Amanda’s success story and discover how to shift your mindset toward sales to create your own success. Amanda shares how learning to love sales and her offer allowed her to make $10k in a month during one of the most challenging times for new entrepreneurs. Learn how to show up unattached to the outcome of a sales call and why doing so has been so helpful for the clients meeting with Amanda.

What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

• The biggest change that catapulted Amanda from not being a fan of sales to being a sales cheerleader.

• How to effectively let go of fear and attachments surrounding the sales call.

• Some key mindset changes that were useful for Amanda.

• The importance of loving and being confident in your offer and sales.

• How to step away from any shame if you haven’t experienced the same results yet.

• How the Clarity Accelerator helped Amanda successfully start her coaching business.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

• If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.

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• What’s been the most helpful episode? Comment on our Podcast Thread or DM me on Instagram.

• Click here to learn more about the Clarity Accelerator.

• Ep #54: How to Feel Totally Prepared to Start Your Business with Amanda Popovski

• Ep #70: Drop the Fear: Your Guide to Selling and Marketing Attachments-Free

• Amanda Popovski: Linktree | Instagram

• Amanda has a workshop coming up in February. Follow her on Instagram to stay updated!

Full Episode Transcript:

Would you love to be hitting $10K months in your business, but the truth is you just really don't enjoy selling? And so, even thinking about getting to $10K feels kind of painful. Especially sales conversations, when you see one on your calendar are you like, “Ugh?”

Well, today I'm bringing on my client, Amanda, who used to be right there with you, but now feels totally differently. Her recent $10K month is a reflection of that. She will be sharing exactly what changed, so you can start to create big new results too and actually feel great doing so.

You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top-ranked business coach and reformed over-analyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.

Hey, everyone, welcome back to The Uncommon Way. So glad you're here. I have got a treat for you today. I am bringing back Amanda Popovski, the one and only. You have to check out her earlier podcast, when she was just starting her coaching business. It was called “How to Feel Totally Prepared to Start Your Business.”

We left off there with her feeling prepared and really ready to go. Then, in December, she celebrated her first $5K month. And now, in January, her first $10K month, and at the time of this recording the month’s not over yet. I really wanted to bring her back on so she could share exactly what happened between then and now.

Because for new entrepreneurs, the most challenging times are right when you're beginning and you're not feeling prepared, you're feeling confused, uncertain. And then, those early days when you're trying to bring in your first clients or are trying to create more consistency, and again, you're feeling confused and uncertain.

So, our first episode really speaks to that first stage. And now, this one is going to help if you're in the second. I'm so excited for you to find out what she has done over and over again to make sure that she is calling in her best clients, who are ready to sign now. The specific thought that lets her show up completely unattached to the outcome of her sales calls, and how that's so helpful for the women that are meeting with her.

Why Amanda's first attempt at building a coaching business didn't work, and what has made such a difference this time. Plus, the single moment on the sales call that gets Amanda most excited. And no, it's actually not the moment when they say yes.

And then, of course, there's the biggest change that really catapulted her from not being a fan of sales to, in her words, “sales biggest cheerleader.” I could go on, but instead, I am going to let Amanda tell you everything. Let's go ahead and bring her on.

Jenna Harrison: Hey, Amanda, welcome back to the podcast.

Amanda Popovski: Thank you so much. Happy to be here.

Jenna: The last time we left off, you felt completely prepared to start your coaching business. And now, you have a coaching business. Tell us about that.

Amanda: I do. Okay, the last time we talked might have been the summer or maybe the beginning of the fall. And at that time, I was super happy and excited because I had taken big leaps to work with you, in the first place, and to get my coaching business off the ground. To really come out as a coach to my family and my friends, then to my coworkers at corporate, and eventually to the whole internet as I started to market myself more.

I've had an incredible experience. In the four or five months of having my business open, I've noticed some really incredible exponential growth, or quantum leaps, whatever you want to call them. And a lot of it has to do with working with you, and of course getting those foundations from the Clarity Accelerator. I'm really grateful for that work, and I’m excited to talk about it.

Jenna: Great. You've had a lot of success in your business, in your new business. So, are you open to sharing that?

Amanda: Yes. Let's see. I found my first client in August, and in January was my first $10K month, or of my first five-figure month.

Jenna: Congratulations.

Amanda: Thank you.

Jenna: It’s so wonderful, I know, and so helpful for people to hear success stories like yours. Also, I think at some point, we'll also want to have a conversation about, of course, we want to talk about all of the amazing things you did to create those results.

And then, we'll also want to talk about just a few things that will help normalize it for people, and also help us step away from any shame if we haven't been experiencing those same results ourselves. I think those are all important things to talk about.

So, one thing I really know about you is that you follow the Clarity Accelerator process. And in fact, you've gone back to it, I think, two or three times now. You've gone through the work again and again, and not everyone does that. So, I would just love if you could talk about why you do that, what about it works for you, and why you think it works for you. Just for anyone that is on the fence or isn't sure.

Amanda: Okay, let me collect my thoughts on that one. When I first signed on for the Clarity Accelerator, I was really called toward the kind of woman that you were talking to in your messaging. Someone who was taking off and making decisive business decisions, and maybe even starting their business or launching their business in a way that made sense, the first time around.

I knew from my previous experience starting a business that I wanted to really do it right this time, and I wanted to work with a high-level coach. You came into my life at the perfect time. My first exposure to the Clarity Accelerator was really, really focused on your three key pieces, which are: Knowing myself; Knowing my people, who I want to work with; and marrying them together.

And so, the Clarity Accelerator process really make sense for, I guess, how my brain works. And in a foundational way, the triangle is the strongest shape in nature, so to have those three pieces on constant rotation, it makes sense to me. Because we are continually creating clarity as an evolution, as you like to say. Especially being in my first year in business.

I came out coaching with one niche, and I've noticed that I've been able to narrow it down and narrow it down and narrow it down. And that continually meeting and working on making sure that my message is in alignment with not only myself but also the people that I really, really want to attract, is invaluable.

I think the reason is because I see the real impact of market research and the business tools that you've taught us, that as I'm growing, especially in my first year, I noticed that as I refine and refine and refine, and as I get more clients that I get a jolt of excitement from, I'm like, “Oh, I want to attract more of them.”

And so, it's just a really strong kind of manifestation process for me to continually get clear on who I want to bring in. And then, to see the result in my messaging and my marketing in a way that feels authentic to me. That’s what draws me to do it over and over and over again.

Jenna: I love it. For me, it's so easy to see that clarity is an evolution, and that curriculum is a living, breathing thing. Right? That is always helpful in your business, no matter what stage you're at. But I think that's hard for people to conceptualize when they are thinking about what they're going to be doing.

They don't quite realize how beautiful of a process it is to always uncover greater levels of knowledge within yourself, greater understandings about your clients, and what you're really here to do. And how that then can, if we draw it out of ourselves, how we can use that and turn that into a really powerful messaging.

Amanda: Exactly. It's like you really find your… at least this was my experience… I really found my purpose the first time going through the Clarity Accelerator. And now, I keep saying this, but it just makes sense for me, as I continue to evolve, to keep up with the evolution of my purpose. Just keep moving up the rungs of the ladder, or refining and refining and refining.

Right now, I feel like I'm in a totally polished place. But I know that in two years, as I grow and change and become more of who I am, I'll come back to the Clarity Accelerator method and just kind of tweak things and maybe do a complete overhaul. And having that curriculum on my side is really important to me.

Jenna: Yeah, it's interesting because if you watch people in the market, you'll see everyone's message evolve a little bit over time. If you're paying attention, you start to see that they're talking about a different subject or talking about it in a different way. And unfortunately, I think so often, that can be kind of a spaghetti-at-the-wall approach, or more of a ‘let me throw this out and see what comes back to me’.

Here in the Clarity Accelerator, we really want to take a more active energy rather than passive energy. Where we're sourcing deep from within, and then creating that in our world with intention, rather than passively bouncing things out and then evaluating. That's the way I think of it.

Amanda: When I did my first coaching business, in comparison to what I'm doing now, it felt like a very shallow effort of looking around at what other people were doing, trying to make it my own, and trying to add my own spin on it. But in the [inaudible] like you said, you store some really deep within like the tree trunk, instead of just any random leaf.

That gives way to so much more conviction, which we talk about, is what really sells. And so, I feel like I am completely unique on the market because I've done the work, through the Clarity Accelerator, of digging into who I am, what I'm here to offer, and what might be the insights, multiple times over.

Jenna: I love that. Also, in addition to the curriculum and doing this work, which is so important, there are also different things I see that help people get results from the work. So, I believe the work that we do here always works. It's always what's needed and what you come to eventually. And that's why it makes so much more sense to build your business out the right way, or the next pivot you're doing the right way.

However, even within that I see variability within my clients, in terms of how quickly that turns into $10Kk months for instance, or $100K months, or whatever they're moving towards. And so, there are certain skills that you need to build as an entrepreneur as well.

I think it's important for us to just be really, really transparent about the fact that you already were, even when you came into the program, a very strong marketer. So, you had a digital marketing agency before you came into the program.

That's just something that we want to share for anyone out there that's having that little tiny voice saying, “Amanda got to $10K months in six months. What's wrong with me?” There are certain skills that we need to build. And of course, we build them all in the Clarity Accelerator. But some of us have a leg up already when we come in.

There's another piece, that's not the skills, it's the mindset. And so, you also have to, among many other mindset shifts, you have to actually start to enjoy the process of bringing clients in. Or let's just call it, the elephant in the room, sales. Dun-dun-dun.

And so, when I heard from you, a few, I think it was a month ago or so, when we were talking once. You said something, and right away, I said, “We need to have you on the podcast again to have a conversation about this.” Because this is something else that you didn't come into the program with naturally that you had to do the work to create for yourself.

But you did get to the point where you spontaneously said to me one day, “I'm digging the discovery call almost more than the coaching itself.” Now, Amanda, you are a woman who longed, who yearned, to be a life coach, right? It's not something that you're doing because you thought it was the quickest way out of corporate, or any of that ridiculousness.

You had this deep yearning and longing. You'd been working on this business, or hoping about the business, for years, so you love coaching. And yet, you said this to me, you said you were really digging the discovery call. Which must just sound so foreign to many of the people. Because a lot of people have a lot of discomfort about that process.

So, please tell us more about this. Because I know any way you can share, about how you're thinking about this and what it took you to get to that place, is going to be so helpful for so many people.

Amanda: Oh, yeah, I think there's so many things that go into why I love sales calls, discovery calls, all of that. I think the first thing is just that I believe so strongly in the fact that it's an energetic exchange, and that it's a divine appointment. And that's something that you've taught me, Jenna. Is that even if there's not a sale that comes from it, I just love the idea of being able to be with someone and truly help them.

So, from a point of soul fulfillment, I know that that good karma is coming around. And also what I've learned from you, is that it's an amazing opportunity for you to basically see what you could get away with.

So instead of putting all the pressure on the sale, I've played around a lot, religiously, with the idea of ‘okay for this particular sales call, I'm going to say my new price out loud. And if I do that, then that's a win. And I don't have attachment if she buys it. I'm going to try to do this sales call when I'm sick. I'm going to do the sales call when I don't have a voice;’ when you know those are both very true experience.

That is a healthy and excellent and really safe way for me to approach the call, and make the person kind of feel my detachment and not feel any desperation. To just be like, “Okay, this person is here to talk with me.” I also love to sales call because I have a framework that really, really works for me.

So as someone that is a Generator, is a go-getter, is very good at organization, I like having an agenda and I always have. Even in my position in corporate, I'm a product manager and I'm organized. I always know what the next thing is. And so, to apply that kind of positive masculine structure of ‘this is a sales call format’ that works for me, I know why I'm asking these questions. I know exactly, after practice, and practice and practice, I know exactly what questions to ask. That's really important, too.

Jenna: And just to interject there, in the Clarity Accelerator, we teach a framework. Where we're like, “Here's the kind of information you're going to be wanting to bring out of this person. Here are some sample questions. But then, how do you want to talk about this? And where in the call do you want to put this, so that it really can feel like yours?

I remember you doing that for yourself. Some people will kind of just mirror pretty much exactly what's there, and pull out a few of the questions that are there. But you actually took the time to make it yours, which I'm sure is a huge reason you've been really successful at it. Because it's felt really authentic for you.

Amanda: Yeah, absolutely. And another thing that you and I have talked about, or you helped me understand, is that even if this woman comes in guns blazing and she's like, “I want to work with you. I know I want to work with you. I love your energy. I love your vibe. My credit card’s right here, let's do this,” it’s so worth it for both me, and the woman on the other side of the phone, to go through the entire, extremely enlightening, sales process.

Because for her, it’s helping her dig even deeper into getting a sampling of what the whole experience is like to work with me. And for me, I'm able to ask her questions that I'm going to use for the rest of my coaching container; really, really deep, and precise questions about the obstacles that she's facing, who she wants to be, why she wants to be that person, and why it works for her.

And so, it's a win-win-win for everybody all around. It's a life-changing experience for both people.

Jenna: I love that you said that, because I was noticing some of the things you were saying before, were things that would help people see why not to hate a sales call. But then this next level of why would you actually love a sales call, I think you just really hit on that very powerfully just now. I have a feeling anyone listening to what you just said, would really feel that excitement and energy.

I agree, it's an amazing way to set both you and the client up for success later on, to have a really powerful discovery call. And to help them get excited about what they're stepping into, to help you understand what they're going to need help with later on, to have them even come in…

I really believe, I'm sure you do too, but a person can come in at the beginning, not having had a discovery call, and just by the end of that discovery call can come in as a completely different client to your program. Which will help them get better results.

Okay, so something I'm thinking about now is, you talked about a couple of the mindset shifts, key mindset shifts, that were really helpful for you in order to move into this stage of really loving discovery calls. Some of them were things that I shared. But I could share that with other people, and they wouldn't necessarily make the mental leap into kind of absorbing that information, and then getting to the point of loving a sales call.

So, I would love to know your process. Anything you can remember about this period for you, in between our last podcast and now. Anything that you've done, that you think might be helpful for other people that are kind of struggling with finding their footing as a coach, charging premium prices, and getting to the point where they really don't fear the call as much.

Amanda: I'll start with a tool that I learned from you. And then, I'll kind of get into my stuff. Before and after all of my calls, I do an evaluation. What worked? What didn't? What would you do differently? But even before that, I took your advice and I started to write myself a letter, for my future self. “If this client signed with me, and we had a fantastic experience, what would I really love about them?”

So I think that preparing for the sales call, and going into it with an idea of ‘this person would be a great fit for X-Y-Z reasons, and my higher self knows that, I know that, they know that or they wouldn't have contacted me, is so awesome.’

It's a little crude, but I read another coaching book one time that, “There's not a gun to this person’s head. They're not in a hostage situation. They don't need to buy from you. You don't necessarily need to bind with them, because there's abundance coming to you anyways.” So, it's just like a conversation between two people that want the best for the individual involved.

And if we think about the idea of letting go of the fear and the attachment around the sales call. We think about people, life coaches, saying that you have a relationship with money, this inanimate object. And if I were just describing my relationship with sales, or with sales calls, it would be something of immense mutual respect.

That level of detachment, and that level of ‘I'm okay if the sales call doesn't go great,’ is usually nourishing, not only for me, but for that department of my business. It feels like it has integrity. Because if the sales call doesn't go so well, I have something that I can learn from, and they probably learned something along the way too.

It's just really lovely to think about connecting with another human being who is living and breathing, and have goals and ambition. And one last thing about my sales calls, that I make really clear, is that I lean into the moments that are really important.

So, I've established that I love to be in that moment when a woman finally admits what she wants, after being scared to do that. When somebody comes in, and they're like, on their intake form, talking about how they really want to make more money or something like that. And then, through the course of the call, we're able to get to a point where she's like, “Well, actually, I want to be a writer,” or something like that.

I go into this with the idea that I am just so excited to experience that moment that I do coaching for. I'm so excited to experience that clarifying moment, and be there in that particular experience with this person.

Jenna: Yes, it is an honor. Isn't it? It is such an honor. I love that you shared that example, because I think when we can bring in certain examples, anyone who is in the place of sales is really, really tough. And sales is something that I avoid like the plague. And that's why it's challenging for me to bring on clients.

And as they hear us talking, the more concrete example of this we can give them, the more they can sink into that that is an amazing thing. “I could look forward to that on a call, because I'd love to be part of it.” And I also think, since obviously I work with people that aren't coaches, as well, the same could hold true for any business, right?

There will be a point when you're getting to know your client, and really talking about wants and needs and what's it really for, that you're helping them clarify for themselves and for you, and just creating a better relationship. Then going forward; with a greater outcome for all involved, going forward.

Amanda: Something that reminds me of is, if I really think about the mindset that had to change, or the powerful thoughts that I had to think between when I was not a fan of sales and now that I'm sales biggest cheerleader.

The biggest change was the realization that I was an authority, that they came to me for a reason, that I have something to give, and that my offer is so again, outstanding, that I'm really excited that they're on this call, and I'm really excited to sell it to them. Because I know it's going to work for them.

And so, behind the scenes of being excited about the sales call, if we kind of move backward, it's like getting to know your offer, how much you love your offer, how much you respect and love yourself, and are excited to take that leap, and to circle it way, way back, that's exactly what we do in the Clarity Accelerator, among so many other things.

It's just getting clearer and clearer, and becoming even more confident in what you have to offer. Which makes the sales a very exciting experience of ‘you're welcome. Come and join my team. Come join my gang. And we'll make some magic together.’

Jenna: Absolutely that is why I designed the Clarity Accelerator that way. To really give you all those pieces, so that you can really love your offer and your selling experience, and go out to help more people, create more success. And being on the other end of a discovery call when someone has that clarity about who they are and what they do, and they're so completely unattached, it is a beautiful thing.

I have this top of mind, because we've been trying to select a school for Dylan, for when we moved to Spain this summer. And so, we've been having a bunch of discovery calls with principals of these private schools. And a couple of them were just not a fit. Though, I'm so, so happy to say that we finally found one that is amazing.

I was on the call with her, and it was so meta. Because the business coach in me was observing everything she was doing, and how clear she was on the school’s secret sauce, and how that translated into really strong positioning. But at the same time, the parent in me was just reveling in how amazing it feels to find that perfect-fit situation.

Because there are a couple of schools on the island that they're known for great academics, for instance, and their graduates go to top colleges, and yada-yada-yada. This school is not one of them. If there were insecurities about that, she would have spent a lot of time talking about academics, or she would have talked about how great their academics are.

But she specifically said they don't do a lot of testing there. They really believe that if children have good relationships with their teacher and each other, the learning takes care of itself. And then she goes on to say, they don't even have entrance requirements for their children. Because they believe that that's not a real-world situation for children to always be, or for people to always be surrounded by others that are just extremely, extremely bright.

And that really, the world is about learning to interact with all sorts of people. I'm sure I just was getting brighter and brighter and happier as she was talking about this. Because we just know that Dylan will not do well in a really super strict, high-pressure environment. That he would do so much better, even though he's extremely bright, but he'll just do so much better. He just needs a lot of love and a lot of happiness, and the childhood experience.

So, that's just one example. But there were so many things like that, where I'm sure it would have sent some parents packing, by what she was saying. But for people like us, it was like, “Check, check. Yep, that's what we're looking for. And that's what we're looking for. Where do we sign up? Phil, please, please tell us you have a slot available.”

That's what happens when you really, deeply believe that your way of doing things is amazing and perfect for the right people. You don't have to compensate for any of your perceived lack, or anything. When you really have your uncommon way and make things your own. Just like you did with developing your amazing offer, and with making your sales framework really yours.

I do the same as well with my business, of course, and then the business programs that I join. Speaking of which, I don't think I've ever told you the story. You know how sometimes we've talked about how when you're looking to move towards a goal, and it's so important for us to stay in non-attachment.

But instead of trying to hustle our way towards results, we’re just open to our hits of inspiration. Gut hits, communication from the universe, anything that will show you your next steps. Rather than falling into that old panic paradigm that has so many of us burning out and spinning out, and absolutely overtaxing our nervous systems.

So, a lot of times I've talked to you about a month when I was down against a deadline and I refused to slip back into that old panic response. And it felt really disconcerting for me, right? Because I was waiting, and I was wanting to really take aligned action. Well, that is the very month actually, that I reached out to you randomly, out of the blue.

We've talked about it so often, but I've never made this connection. Or I never connected the dots to tell you that also happened that month. And how that ties into making things your own, is because I was working with a coach at that moment who very adamantly believed you should never reach out to any one that you had talked to in a past sales call. That if you were in your future-self state, you would be way too busy to reach out to people that had wanted to work with you.

And in that month, I remember getting a hit of, “Maybe I want to reach out to a couple people.” I remember having the mental somersaults in my head about, “Well, I probably don't need to do that. I probably shouldn't do that. Am I being graspy? Is this coming from a place of being clingy?”

And I really sat with myself, I didn't act on it immediately. But there was this strong draw. And I realized that I was not going to reach out to everybody. But I was really going to sit with myself and be like, who are those people I've talked to, with whom I felt a soul connection, and just really believed that maybe there was more to our story?

And so, I reached out to you. I also reached out to Carrie, who's been on the podcast before. I know you two didn't overlap, but you would love her so much. And so, at the time, you weren't ready to come back on and work with me. But I do believe that maybe that little reach out inspired you later on to come back, and set up another call; and the rest is history.

So, I think that's a great story of just something fun to share with you and the listeners. But it's a great story about really doing it your way, and how sometimes we don't want to follow what our coach says. Our own divine wisdom, and our own clarity, is really what we need to learn to cultivate for ourselves. With the guidance and support of a coach, of course.

But really, ultimately, what you're looking for is your uncommon way. Also, just to know that the power, and this can also help with that non-attachment when you're in a sales call moment, but the power sometimes of waiting until your person is ready, right? And waiting until it's the right moment for you two to create this explosion that the two of you are going to create.

Because if we had tried working together two years ago, or a year ago, I don't remember the exact timeline. But we may not be sitting here with the same kind of story that we're talking about right now. And yet, all the pieces came together, and here we are.

Amanda: Yeah, that's such an inspiring, and also very exciting story for me to hear. I didn't know that. I think that's such a good point. I think that there's ways, in your sales call, that you can also ask those kinds of questions. To really get to the bottom of ‘is this person urgent enough? Are they committed enough? Is there something in our energy that is not working right now? And if so, can I find out why, in a way that's also beneficial to them, that explores their psyche as well?’

Jenna: Yes, and know that maybe that conversation is what was needed for that person. It's nothing against you. It doesn't mean that you failed at the sales call. It just meant that what was meant to happen right now was a conversation. And who knows what will happen later?

By the way, if anyone is struggling, or wants to go deeper into the concept of not feeling so attached, I do have a podcast episode on that. We'll link to it in the show notes; it’s about non-attachment in sales and marketing. All right, Amanda, I want to thank you so much for coming on today. I just want to ask, is there anything else that you think you want to share with the audience, or the you of even three months ago that we haven't talked about yet?

Amanda: Yeah. I think if I had any last remarks they would be about love, which is the personal matter theme in my life. I think great businesses, outstanding personal businesses come from a place of sustainability and longevity. And I can definitely say that if I didn't have the Clarity Accelerator I don't know if I would feel as confident in the sustainability and longevity of what I'm building.

Part of that has to do with your particular coaching method, and the worksheets and everything that are so, so valuable, that, again, I've gone through time and time and time again. But another piece of it, is just to know that someone believes in me. On our sales call, I know this is quite uncommon, but you let me know that you saw me going to six figures without a doubt.

And of course, I would never hold that against you. But to have that running through my mind, even as I'm getting to this $10K month, and being like, “It's happening.” And as I do my next $10K month, and it's happening to me. The me of three months ago, I really admire how much she made it her mission to fall in love with her business.

I think from that love comes that longevity, that sustainability. And that drives the passion to redo the Clarity Accelerator, or to work on your thoughts about the sales call. And manifest the best that you really deserve.

Jenna: I love that. Thank you for sharing that. If we can, you and I, transfer that belief to any woman entrepreneur, that yes, it is possible and we believe in you to create your six-figure business. And by the way, it's not something that I usually say on a discovery call with somebody. In fact, I just got off a discovery call with somebody…

We actually paused the call because she was very interested in the success rate and the percentage of people that create whatever results, revenue results in their business. I kept coming back with all the examples of clients of mine that had done all the work, and had done amazing things, and have not created those financial results that they wanted to after a year, for instance.

I was able to break down why, what was going on with their mindset when they pivoted their business, when they got scared, and I really want to normalize that for so many people. That so many people, myself included, are on a journey where we still have either skills to learn, or mindset issues to work through, and so many things are happening for us.

And in fact, I paused the call, and I asked her the question, “Well, what if it took you three years In order to reach your corporate revenue? Would it still be worth it? What if it took you five years?” And she was like, “Well, three years, yes. But five years? No.” “Alright, let's talk about that. Let's think about what if it isn't five years?”

So usually, I take people in the other direction, which is really helping them lean into their own resiliency and commitment, and just make decisions. It doesn't mean that you can't start a business if you're not willing to commit more than two years to it, I'm not saying that.

But you need to go with eyes wide open, that that's going to inherently create different pressure points in your business. Your motivation likely will start to decrease if you haven't seen the results that your brain thinks needs to be seen, as you get closer to this magical two-year mark, or whatever arbitrary number you've set in your head.

So, it is unusual that I would say that so boldly to you. And I think it's just because I knew exactly where you were and what might be holding you back. And I knew so many of the skills that you already possessed, as well. But I do believe it, for anyone out there, maybe even if you have had a discovery call with me and maybe I did push back a bit on this, I do want you to know that it is possible for anyone.

I believe that in my heart of hearts. I did not always. When I started in business, I thought maybe it's only the lucky few, or maybe if it's only if you're a brilliant marketer, or only if- only if- only if, right? And maybe not me. But now that I'm on the other side and I've seen so many women, I know that the single variable is, will you stick with it? If you stick with it, you're going to create your success.

Amanda: That’s so awesome. That’s really what makes you stick with it, it's the knowledge that someday it will happen.

Jenna: Yeah, and the knowledge that it happens differently for a lot of us. And that it's all important, because whatever skills or mindset things you're working through along the way, they're only going to propel your business faster and further forward when it does click.

So, speaking of beautiful ways of showing up and marketing, and just bringing your own energy to the world, could you please share with us how people can get in touch with you and find you online? Because I think a lot of people should go to visit, and watch and engage, and just have a lot of fun in your world.

Amanda: Oh, thank you. Thank you so much. Yes, it's @amandapopovski on Instagram. My Linktree link is there, and I've got some posts and whatnot on there. But that's the main place that people can find me. Thank you.

Jenna: Don't you have a workshop of some sort coming up?

Amanda: I do have a workshop in the Buffalo area. I don't know if any of your listeners are in Buffalo. If they are, I would love to meet them. But I will be having a workshop in February, with a very Valentine’s/Galentine’s Day kind of theme. So, I would love for you to follow me on Instagram to stay updated.

Jenna: Yeah, tell us about it.

Amanda: I'm really excited about this one. This is kind of going back to the basics of what I teach, which is in three parts: Getting to know who you are and how you got to where you are, getting to know where you want to go. And finally, understanding the process that it takes to get there. After years of maybe inauthentic hustle or burnout or just feeling like you're not in alignment.

And so, you and all of the other sweet, awesome, dope, Buffalo ladies will get together, we're going to have cookies and sweets, and just have a really life moving hour and a half of journaling and learning and making things happen in our lives, creating results.

Jenna: So nice. Most of your clients, where do they tend to come in terms of their journey? And where do they really want to go?

Amanda: Oh, it was so funny when I first started, because I, myself, am 25. And I thought that I wanted to just work with millennials and Gen-Z. But I found that I have clients that are in their 40s and their 50s. And they are all different in age, but really the same in soul.

They come to me wanting to create some sort of results in their life. For one of them, it’s launching her business. For one of them, it's finding her soulmate. For another one, she just feels like her life is not what she thought it would be. She wants to be more in tune with herself, raise her vibration and become in alignment, and really take bold action.

So a lot of my clients come to me from a place of feeling kind of stuck, frustrated, like they can't really take the action that they want to take on these big goals and dreams that they have. And as we work together, they learn a little bit more about what it really means to take action as someone who is living in alignment.

As somebody who is a master manifester tapping into their intuition, being pulled by abundance and clarity, instead of being pushed by guilt and being ‘I have to do this because X-Y-Z.’ We really do a lot of unlearning in my coaching practice. And from that baseline to true knowledge about yourself and who you are. We get you where you want to go quicker, easier, and better, as you would say.

Jenna: I really love it. I think that your people have very much… You've described a lot of them to me as badasses. They can be very ambitious and very successful, and yet there's this kind of hesitancy, in a way, that's kind of foreign to them about taking action.

What I think is so beautiful, what we found for your business, is that you have a side of yourself, obviously; you're such a go-getter, you create such amazing things. You do find ways to move over any hurdles of inaction. You will work through it, and create amazing discipline for yourself. And I know that's very attractive to your people.

And also, there's this other thing that it turns out they're really looking for, and that you are really well positioned to help them with. Which is this space of alignment, like you were talking about. And I think it's unique having a foot in both worlds. Where you can speak to this side, but then also speak to that side.

Amanda: Yeah, absolutely.

Jenna: You've used both of them in your own life. You're walking the walk of incorporating both of those.

Amanda: And I found in my own journey, that if I trend too far on the masculine, then I get burnt out. If I trend too far on the feminine, then I get bored.

And I was like, “There has to be a way to blend both of these together, and live in a place of alignment. Where I'm following my purpose and I feel really excited and grateful to be Amanda Popovski every day. And I'm also challenging myself, taking brave action, doing things that help me grow, that make me [inaudible] in my pants. But also feel so happy and grateful to be alive and present and joyful.

Jenna: Oh my gosh. Yes. I think anyone now is going to quietly turn off the podcast and go put on the workout clothes, or whatever thing they might have been thinking about. Yes. I remember, once you said that to me, “It's fucking amazing to be Amanda Popovski.” I just held that with me throughout the week, saying that to myself as well. “How is it true, Jenna, how is it true that it's fucking amazing to be Jenna Harrison?”

It's so good. I love these things you come up with, and they're so helpful. Thank you, Amanda, for sharing your wisdom and your time with us today. Know this will be so helpful for many people.

Amanda: Thank you so much for having me on. I really appreciate it.

Hey, if you want true clarity about your secret sauce, your people, your best way of doing business, and how you talk about your offer, then I invite you to join us in the Clarity Accelerator. I'll teach you to connect all the dots, the dots that have always been there for you, so that you can show up like you were born for exactly this.

Come join us and supercharge every other tool or tactic you'll ever learn, from Facebook ads to manifestation. Just go to TheUncommonWay.com/schedule and set up a time to talk. I can't wait to be your coach.

Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity First strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.

Enjoy the Show?

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Ep #82: Uncommon Advice for How to MONETIZE Your Ideas, Voice or Talent

Episode Summary

Jenna shares how to decide which monetization approach is best for your business, and how to do so without getting stuck.

Join us in the Clarity Accelerator by scheduling a call here.

Enjoy the show? Leave a review to help other like-minded entrepreneurs gain clarity in their businesses.

If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.

Show Notes

Whether you're new to business or looking to create new revenue streams, you may be wondering about the best way to monetize your idea. With numerous, sometimes conflicting, opinions out there, it can be challenging for you to determine which approach is the most effective for your situation.

This week, I share three pieces of advice to help you monetize your ideas without getting stuck in a time-consuming, frustrating, and expensive journey. The tips cover mindset, tactics, and energetics. I also discuss the essence of business and how you already possess the knowledge to generate wealth.

Tune in to learn how to reach the most important place in your mind before attempting to clarify the best way to monetize your idea. Discover how to make decisions that might not be the most comfortable but will lead you to a business where clients and money gravitate toward you.

What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

• The one question that will guide you in creating your next step.

• What business is truly about.

• The crucial mindset for building a successful business.

• The 3 reasons people pause on big decisions related to business development.

• How to get comfortable with the idea of serving your clients NOW.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

• I offer a FREE 90-minute roadmap call to help you see what I see about your business, to see if you’d be a good fit for the Clarity Accelerator, and to answer any questions you have. If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.

• Click here to sign up for my newsletter and find out how the Connect The Dots Method has helped clients in all stages of their business.

• Follow me on Instagram for behind-the-scenes content and daily value bombs!

• What’s been the most helpful episode? Comment on our Podcast Thread or DM me on Instagram.

• Click here to learn more about the Clarity Accelerator.

• Ep #1: The Clarity Gap

Full Episode Transcript:

There is so much advice out there about how best to monetize your business, but also so many conflicting opinions. How do you decide what's right for you? I have a lot of experience walking women through this decision, and I've seen all sorts of business models come from that. Today, I'm going to share three of my best but highly uncommon pieces of advice so you can get clear on this for yourself.

You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top-ranked business coach and reformed over-analyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.

Hey, welcome back to The Uncommon Way. I've got an episode for you today that will be great if you would like to bring in some new revenue stream for your business and you're trying to decide which way to monetize, or if you're just starting out in business.

I'll be sharing three uncommon pieces of advice to help you with that decision. And as always, you'll get a tactical how-to, you'll get something related to mindset, and something energetic, all in one highly digestible, concise format.

By the end, I want you to know what is and is not worth paying for in the eyes of consumers. The most important places to get to in your mind before you try to get clear on the best way to monetize, or else you'll risk going down a time consuming, frustrating, and possibly expensive path. And, the one question that by itself will help you create your next step.

Whew. Okay, how are you all doing? At the time of this recording, we are deep in winter weather. Here in the U.S., it just seemed to sweep across most of the country. I hope you all survived that well, including school closures and all of that fun stuff.

One upside for us is the potential of skiing here in Pennsylvania. Last year, we really just got rain the whole time. But there is a tiny little mountain about a half hour from us, and I have been dying to get my son Dylan on the slope since he was a baby. It just hasn't happened because of COVID and moves, and then uncooperative weather. We were planning to go today, but the wind kicked up and it feels like temperature of 0⁰.

I just thought back to my first experience skiing. I was five at the time; my son is six now. We lived in the desert at the time and had driven to Colorado. I was so unprepared, all I had were little rain boots. There was just this awful kind of deep freeze and snow, blizzards; I remember it as blizzards going on.

I remember my dear dad, rest in peace, saying, “Are we having fun yet? Are we having fun yet?” Meanwhile, my mom and I were just freezing and miserable that first day. It just became a running joke in our family. It’s what we would say to always put a smile on our faces later.

I just thought, “You know what? I want Dylan to just have a more pleasant experience his first time out.” But in the spirit of my Dad, let's have some fun today, shall we, and get down to business.

All right, I want to dive into mindset first today, and let you know that business is about creating solutions and providing something of value. And as long as you keep that in mind, you will never be broke. Why? Because you could wake up and have $0 in your account and think, “What issue can I solve for someone today? What solution can I give someone today? Maybe it's babysitting? Maybe it's shoveling snow?”

Of course, the more sophisticated and in demand your service, the more you can charge. But it’s that mindset underneath, ‘I know how to create money.’ And you do. I get that your brain at this instant might be telling you that you don't, but you do. So, it’s starting any kind of decision making with that mindset, ‘Oh wait, I know how to create money, by providing solutions. I can figure this out.’

Alright, why is that so important that I wanted to open the episode with that? It's because voice, talent, ideas, by themselves are not a solution. That's why it's challenging to monetize a podcast or a book or a YouTube channel. Because there's tons of free info out there, and it's not a direct solution.

Now, I'm not saying that that shouldn't be the method you choose to monetize your business, if that's the right thing for you. But instead, that even when you are monetizing in that way, you are always focused on the solution. This might be some tough love for some of you, but I know that's why you're here. It’s so that you can have eyes wide open, and you don't set yourself up for frustration and lost time, and maybe even giving up.

This here, is why so many people close up shop, because they get demoralized when they aren't seeing money come in quickly enough. They weren't seeing the evidence they wanted, and so their belief faltered.

But once you adopt this mindset, that you know how to create money by providing solutions, you'll start thinking differently. When you monetize a podcast via advertising, for instance, who are you ultimately solving a problem for? Your sponsors. They are your clients. They have a problem of needing to get in front of their ideal clients, and you are providing a solution to that.

So, your emphasis then switches from ‘how can I solve my listeners problem,’ to focus on what your advertisers want to see, which is the number of downloads, or some other metric. So, maybe you start creating daily episodes. And with this frame of mind, then you can also think about your timeline. How quickly do you need to monetize? Because people pay the most for direct, individualized services.

Let's look at coaching versus self-publishing some sort of informational book. Coaching is popular as a business model, because people will pay thousands of dollars to solve the problem via your direct coaching. All it really takes to create that client is one conversation.

With an informational book, the people have no direct, individualized help from you. And so, they'll pay a little bit, maybe $12-$25, maybe $29. Therefore, you've got to create a higher volume of sales in order to create any kind of noticeable revenue for yourself. Creating that volume, and the skills to bring in that volume, can take some time.

Now, it's not that one model is better than the other. Again, you just want to have eyes wide open. So, having this mindset helps you shift how you will monetize, but it also hopefully helps you think through more clearly the way in which you want to monetize. As a service business, you are creating solutions.

Okay, so what is something tactical? Well, let's take a step back, and think about what might have been making this decision challenging for you in the first place. So many people are either stuck in analysis paralysis, or they're stuck in ‘but this is how they say I should do it.’

Nope, that is not for you, not where you want to be. You are on this entrepreneurial journey to find your way, what feels just right for you. If you're thinking, “Jenna, I just want money now to get out of this job. Just tell me what works.” I'd question that, really. Because that's what I thought too. And yet, I never really took action, real committed action, on any of those things until I found something that really felt meaningful and aligned and just right for me.

So, if you want more on my story, you can go back to the first episode we ever did, called “The Clarity Gap”. It will tell you both my own story with clarity, but also how that led me to think about building out your business now.

Look, honestly, usually, when I see people pausing on a big decision like this, there's one of a few things going on. One is, they don't know what they don't know. That's why in the previous section, I tried to give you some real talk. Or two, they don't quite know how to tap into their intuition, or to trust themselves if they do. Or three, and this one is really prevalent, they can't think clearly about their range of possibilities because they have fears and certain limiting beliefs getting in the way.

Like with my fear of failure that kept me from going forward when I was trying to decide on what business I would start. Or so many women who think they're not qualified enough to do XYZ because, of course, we've been conditioned to believe that we're never the expert in the room, especially when it comes to business.

But what if you did believe that you were very qualified to do whatever you wanted? That you could have trust yourself to tune in to what you wanted? And that you had done a fair amount of research, had your head squarely on your shoulders, and could make this decision?

Then, my friend, the tactical piece that I would give you, the one question I would have you ask yourself is: If you could be successful in anything, which do you want to do most? How would you want to create your business? What story do you want to tell about yourself when you look back?

I remember a coach asked me that kind of question when I was in the early days of my business. It made me furious. I thought, “That is just so ridiculous, and so coach-y, honestly. To just throw pragmatism out the window and think that you wouldn't fail.” But noticing that visceral reaction, that strong belief I had that failure was such a real possibility, really helped me question things, and helped me realize how much the fear of failure was keeping me stuck.

And so, honestly, if you don't go into this decision-making process without the mindset that you know how to create solutions for people, that you can always figure out a way to help someone solve a problem, and that you get to choose what you want to do because you will figure out how to make it successful... If you don't start with those things, you're really limiting your possibilities.

You might just be jumping down a rabbit hole that will add years to your timeline. Ask me how I know. It's because I decided that blogging was the way to monetize my talents. When really, I had a much more immediate desire to see the result of the impact I was creating for people.

Okay, time for some inspiration. This is the part in the show where I share the direct words of women who were committing to play big in their businesses and lives at the very moment they decided to do so. Which, in this case, is when they joined us in the Clarity Accelerator.

This is definitely my favorite part of the show, seeing how more and more women are leading the effort to really change the game and the way that we play. It really makes me feel like I could just go tip over a car, as one of my clients once said. I hope it leaves you feeling energized, too.

So, here's what one person said: “I've worked almost to burnout before, and I never want to go there again. That's why I want to organize my life and business in a way which is supportive of a great lifestyle. I tried taking a couple years off from my business, but I missed it so much. So, I want help moving back into work while maintaining a great balance. I just think that a bit more strategy and support is what I need to get this set up and make all the difference.” So good. Thank you for that.

Okay, let's talk energetics. You have got to put out the energetic “open for business” sign. Too many people are preparing, and then preparing after preparing, then preparing after preparing to prepare. And so, without quite realizing it, they gravitate towards “monetization” ideas that are longer-term revenue drivers, and those which have them as far away from the consumer or client as possible.

Now, if that is the perfectly aligned strategy for you more power to you. But let's take writing a book, for instance. Sometimes what that's really about is just that it is much cozier to sit at home in your pjs behind a screen, maybe curled up on your sofa with your laptop in front of a fireplace, which is what I love to do this time of year. And all of that is just so much nicer than putting yourself out there more directly.

So, you need to be onto yourself, to that part of you that might lead you into a decision just because it's more comfortable. But remember when I talked about coming up with a quick solution, like babysitting? I was half joking about that. But you’ve got to admit, that is some “open for business” energy. You are like, “I am ready universe! I'm going to go out there. I'm going to make this offer, and bring it.”

Which is why I believe so strongly that you can find your clients anywhere if you are ready, and if your messaging or pitch is on point. You could be in the line at Starbucks and find your next corporate or private client, or your next advertiser, or your next funder.

But friends, first you have to get comfortable with the idea of serving people now, inviting that in now, and hang out that energetic “open for business” sign. Because if not, you'll become like I used to be; doing all the right things, but with not much to show for it. And you definitely won't be able to lean back and just create a business where clients and revenue come to you in a nice flow.

Now, making smart, powerful decisions, in order to create that kind of business, is what we do in the Clarity Accelerator. With the mindset and energetic support to make that successful, and help you accelerate your timeline to getting there. I offer a free 90-minute roadmap call to help you see what I'm seeing about your business. To see if you'd be a right fit for the Clarity Accelerator, and to answer any questions you have about how it will help you create results.

Those calls are opened all of my podcast listeners. I meet with people on Mondays and Fridays, and I encourage you to grab a spot. You'll find the link in the show notes.

All right, that is it, my friends. Remember, deep down, you know who you are, and each day you're stepping further into what you're here to create.

Hey, if you want true clarity about your secret sauce, your people, your best way of doing business, and how you talk about your offer, then I invite you to join us in the Clarity Accelerator. I'll teach you to connect all the dots, the dots that have always been there for you, so that you can show up like you were born for exactly this.

Come join us and supercharge every other tool or tactic you'll ever learn, from Facebook ads to manifestation. Just go to TheUncommonWay.com/schedule and set up a time to talk. I can't wait to be your coach.

Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity First strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.

Enjoy the Show?

Don’t miss an episode, follow the podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or Google Podcasts.

Ep #81: 3 Ingredients for Overcoming Imposter Syndrome and Owning Your Secret Sauce

Episode Summary

Jenna offers three bite-sized tips on owning your secret sauce and overcoming imposter syndrome.

Join us in the Clarity Accelerator by scheduling a call here.

Enjoy the show? Leave a review to help other like-minded entrepreneurs gain clarity in their businesses.

If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.

As Black History Month approaches, I would love to invite someone from our community who is a Black entrepreneur to host an episode. You would have the opportunity to share tactical, mindset and energetics tips. If you are interested in this opportunity, please feel free to contact me through Instagram or by email. I know so many people would benefit from this share, including me!

Show Notes

Do you aspire to move forward in your business, but struggle with imposter syndrome? Do you find yourself thinking that others are doing this much better than you? Even if you are succeeding in your field, imposter syndrome can cause you to invest a lot of energy into redirecting attention from it.

In this week’s episode, I provide tactical mindset and energetics tips to help you confidently embrace your secret sauce and overcome imposter syndrome. I also share some thoughts you can think when you doubt that your secret sauce is good enough.

Tune in to learn how to build trust that your secret sauce is worth investing in and is worthy of your price tag. These bite-sized yet impactful tips will empower you to overcome imposter syndrome and own your secret sauce.

What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

• Three tips for owning your secret sauce.

• The positive impact overcoming imposter syndrome has on yourself and your business.

• The difference owning what you do and not being sorry makes.

• Empowering experiences from other listeners.

• How to trust that your secret sauce is worth your price tag.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

• If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.

• Click here to sign up for my newsletter and find out how the Connect The Dots Method has helped clients in all stages of their business.

• Follow me on Instagram for behind-the-scenes content and daily value bombs!

• What’s been the most helpful episode? Comment on our Podcast Thread or DM me on Instagram.

• Click here to learn more about the Clarity Accelerator.

• Ep #47: Safeguarding Against Burnout with Rachel Hale

• Ep #80: How to Find Your Secret Sauce: Tactics, Mindset and Beyond

Full Episode Transcript:

When you think about moving forward in your business, is imposter syndrome the number one thing keeping your mind spinning? That voice saying, “Who do you think you're kidding? There are people much better than you at this.”

Or maybe you're doing really well in business, some would even say ‘killing it,’ but you feel like you're constantly juggling balls and spinning pinwheels in order to divert attention from your true imposter status? Both of those are exhausting, my friend. I've been there. So, today I have got three bite-sized tips to help you own your secret sauce and feel head-tossing confidence.

You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top-ranked business coach and reformed over-analyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.

Hi there, welcome back to The Uncommon Way. Today, we are continuing our miniseries on the secret sauce. In our last episode, Episode 80, we talked about finding your secret sauce. But now we're going to go a step further, and we're going to talk about owning your secret sauce.

This really goes hand in hand with impostor syndrome, which keeps so many women from playing full out. But also, it's important because it can sneak up on you at any time. Maybe you think you're past it, and you set your sights on some new goal and boom! there you are all over again questioning everything.

I was talking to a woman the other day who had founded a software company that was extremely successful. But when she thought about growing it even more, she couldn't help thinking, “Maybe I've reached my limit. Maybe this is The Peter Principle and I'm just done. Here's where I stop.” When we talked about potentially selling the company, she was saying, “I just don't think I'm the kind of person that could go out there and sell it.”

So, this comes up at all levels, my friends. Whatever is going on for you, wherever you are, I want to help you overcome that, like yesterday, because you've got big things to do.

Today, as always, you'll get three super useful and actionable tips. I'll give you one tactical to-do, one mindset related tip, and one about the energetics of the situation. By the time we're done, you will know how using one specific hashtag, or at least the principle behind it, can overhaul the way you feel in just 30 days.

And why, in many cases, what many people are actually paying you for most is not results. Yes, I said it - not results. You'll see what I mean. You'll also know what should be at the root of every sales interaction, and client interaction, that you have, bar none.

Before we get started, I have an invitation for one of you out there. Now, next month is Black History Month, and I would love to invite someone from our community who is a Black entrepreneur to host an episode for us during that month. You would simply be giving one tactical tip, one mindset tip, and one tip for energetics to our audience, and anyone else out there who would benefit from this share.

I know there would be so many people who would be grateful, including me, and I invite you to get in contact with me through any means that you want. I'm on all the socials at The Uncommon Way, you can DM me, or you can drop us an email.

Okay, let's get down to the good stuff. My tactical tip for you today, is that you have got to desensitize yourself to talking about it, to owning it. You are going to need baby steps here. It's like when my son Dylan decides that all of a sudden he wants to change where his hair is parted. But his hair, of course, is used to parting to where I've always parted it. Now that he's doing his own hair, of course he wants it to go the other way, because he is after all my son and wants to do his own uncommon way.

But that's not going to happen overnight. It's going to take consistent, repeated action to coax the hair in another direction. Whenever you are having thoughts of being an imposter or not being good enough, I guarantee it is not the first time you've ever thought that. That is not part of your higher self and your natural essence, saying, “You know what? Maybe I'm an imposter.”

No, that is conditioned thinking, something that's been given to you, and that your brain has thought over and over again, and it's become a pattern. It's become a pattern that jumps up every time you're moving into a new level.

So, I am going to challenge you to talk about your secret sauce, or what you do so well, once a day. And each time you do, I want you to think in your head that you're using a hashtag, #notsorry. #notsorry. “I'm not sorry for just speaking truth about what I do so well. I'm not sorry for owning this.”

I first tried this for myself when I was doing something a bit unrelated. I was taking my son, for the first time, for a month in Greece. This is when he was not even two years old. It was something I dreamed about and saved for. Yet, when the time came, I noticed myself feeling really bad about sharing it on social media.

When I started investigating that, I just questioned, “Why exactly am I ashamed about this?” It coincided with a lot of inner work that I had been doing, and I realized how much resistance I had to being perceived as too braggy, in owning accomplishments, and owning an uncommon lifestyle.

So, I decided to go the other way, to actually start a series of posts about my trip to Greece where I wouldn't be checking myself. I'd kick it off with a post with #notsorry, just listing 10 things about myself that I no longer wanted to be sorry about. Well, it really struck a nerve, and caught on. So many women started joining with me in this.

Somewhere, for instance, in their post you would see, “…and I went to Oxford #notsorry.” It felt amazing. It was like in the Barbie movie when the Pulitzer Prize winner says, “Wait a minute, I did write a book.” Through consistent repetition, and especially if you're lucky enough to have others join you in this, so you're not alone, it will start to feel like you're waking up out of a fog.

I really recommend that you try this for 30 days to see what a difference it makes. And just to let you know what's on the other side, here I am years later, I've made these month-long trips part of our yearly routine, and we are now moving to Spain because I did so. Many women have told me how much that inspires them.

When you say ‘the proof is in the pudding,’ you all, my new website, that will be launching soon, is going to be plastered with pictures of me living the good life in Majorca and really owning the life that I've built. So, I do hope you'll help me celebrate that in month and a half or so when it goes live. I'll let you know.

Now, when I was talking about #notsorry, I was using that on social media. But you do not have to do this 30-day practice on social media. You might choose to do it on social media, in which case, you could just be dropping one line into your post that has to do with you owning your secret sauce just in passing.

“Oh, this is something I do. This is something that clients love. This is something that I've just always been good at.” Or you could choose to do it as an entire post, maybe resurrecting a moment from the past where this has just been so innate for you. Or how you've cultivated it, or how you've used it in service of your clients, or even getting real about how it can be challenging to recognize and own our own gifts.

But if you've been with me for any amount of time, you probably know that I'm not tied to social media. I don't even think you need to be on social media. So, some of you may prefer to not use social media at all, or to sprinkle in your 30-day practice with other places. Even just mentioning it to your family is a step forward. Even just saying it in passing to an acquaintance or a stranger.

There are so many opportunities and venues for you to just express it. That is all we're talking about here. It's where you become comfortable with taking something that is inside you and expressing it out into the world to be received.

Okay, let's talk mindset, shall we? The mindset that you want to maintain, comes through parsing out all of the different things you do that add value. In whatever situation, your brain might be telling you that you don't add enough value. But not only are these things valuable, specifically, your secret sauce is so valuable that it might be worth paying you, regardless of whether it brings the specific result that the person wanted.

Now, stay with me here, because some of you might be freaking out thinking, “Oh, no, that is just bringing up all of my worst fears about being salesy, and not having integrity if I'm not actually going to get these results to people that I promised.” What I mean, is that those results could just be the cherry on top.

It's worth you doing the inner work to really think through this, and to stretch your mind into how it might be true that just your secret sauce alone is worth an investment with you, is worth your price tag, or is worth your entire price tag. You can think through what you do. You can think through the way you do it. And you can think through how you are. All of those are entry points for you to begin this little exercise.

Maybe your people didn't really know that thing existed, and that that alone is going to be so life changing over the course of their life. Or being surrounded by it will be so helpful for them to believe in it. Or it will just be so reassuring for them to have it.

I'm thinking of two examples here. One is, once I was talking to one of my first coaches about this new client I was bringing on. She had this amazing new concept that had just never been done anywhere before. I was so lit up and excited.

My coach looked at me and she said, “Jenna, I would never take on that client. The fact that you get so jazzed up about uncommon businesses, are willing to be a champion for those of people, and to do the extra work of having to understand industries that you don't already know, that's going to be life changing for those people. Because up until now, they haven't fully believed that it can work. And here you are, as a business coach, saying, ‘I can't wait to work on that with you.’”

Do you see how over the course of that person's life, of potentially going off in some other direction rather than that business that they really wanted, they then meet me, and through that interaction plant their stake in the ground and say, “Yes, I'm doing this,” how that is so worthwhile? That alone.

I'm thinking of a landscape architect I worked with, who was just a genius at making people feel comfortable. Really managing all the different personalities, and all the different priorities of all the teams that have to come together, in order to create the kinds of magnificent backyards that her clients wanted.

Her clients could feel that right away. It was so worthwhile for them to move forward with her because it was a load off their plate, a load off their mind, that they weren't going to have to be coordinating between different companies, or worrying about personality dynamics.

They just knew that it would be done smoothly and handled, and felt so reassured. Even if they had had to hire a separate landscape architect, that job alone was worth so much, over the course of the four months or six months, whatever it was, that this project was being completed.

In the Clarity Accelerator, we have an exercise where we really pull this apart and give ourselves the opportunity to ground into how this is true for us and our specific people. And once you've really, really taken this in and accepted it, it makes it so much easier to sell with integrity. Because you know the value you're giving people is so much heavier than they're even really recognizing at that moment.

If we had time right now, I could go through client by client, every single one of my clients, and tell you exactly why their secret sauce is so fundamentally important for their precise people. I know I believe that 100%, and I know they do too, because they've worked on this.

Speaking of clients, I know in the last episode I shared a few things that people had said that I just found so inspiring, when they were talking about why they were choosing to go forward and invest. I heard back from a few of you that you loved hearing that. So, I'm going to share some more.

Because these gets so good, I get shivers every time I read these. There was one woman who said,

“I want to be a woman who plays big, and is financially successful. I feel so strongly that more women in power, and earning more, is better for everyone. Studies back that up, and I want to be a part of it. I was brought up by a feminist with money issues, so I'd like to take the next steps in that and be a feminist with money. I can see so many options and opportunities that open up with more money, and I feel ready to step into that.”

She went on to say, “I want to run a company that is a good company. I want to make money doing good things. I want to help and empower more people through it. And I just need some clarity on how to move forward with the business ideas, and the team that I have already, so that they feel fulfilled, fairly compensated, and really part of that mission as well.”

Oh, I love these. It's like when you get to that point of ‘here's why I'm doing it,’ the most beautiful things come through. And as you're feeling that energy, this is the perfect time to talk about the energetics. Now, the energetics of really overcoming impostor syndrome, and owning your secret sauce, is about shifting into your welcome energy.

Let me tell you a story about Rachel, who was a client that tended to be really overworking and doing everything for her clients, but was plagued with a bit of imposter syndrome. That they wouldn't really recognize and appreciate all of it.

As you could imagine, that could lead her to compromise on her price, and on what she would and wouldn't do for them. Sometimes they would say things like, “Well, could you only do this instead of doing all of the things? Could we just get this one little piece from you.”

I told her, “Rachel, you have gone through so many things in this journey. You've spent so much time learning the ropes. You can keep them away from so many pitfalls...” she does luxury brand consulting… “That every time you are interacting with a new client, or a current client, you need to show up like, ‘You're welcome. You are welcome that I've done all of this for you, been through all of this, and learned the hard way, so that you don't have to. You're welcome, but I'm here to help you.’”

Sometimes you can completely change a dynamic just by you remembering who you really are and deciding to shift into that energetic.

Now, I don't think that requires too much information; I know that you love these episodes to be bite-sized and digestible, so I'm going to stop here. But if you want to hear more, you can go back and listen to my podcast episode with Rachel; it's Episode #47.

All right, my friends, get out there and own your shit. You know who you are, and each day you are stepping further into what you are here to create. Talk to you next time.

Hey, if you want true clarity about your secret sauce, your people, your best way of doing business, and how you talk about your offer, then I invite you to join us in the Clarity Accelerator. I'll teach you to connect all the dots, the dots that have always been there for you, so that you can show up like you were born for exactly this.

Come join us and supercharge every other tool or tactic you'll ever learn, from Facebook ads to manifestation. Just go to TheUncommonWay.com/schedule and set up a time to talk. I can't wait to be your coach.

Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity First strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.

When you think about moving forward in your business, is imposter syndrome the number one thing keeping your mind spinning? That voice saying, “Who do you think you're kidding? There are people much better than you at this.”

Or maybe you're doing really well in business, some would even say ‘killing it,’ but you feel like you're constantly juggling balls and spinning pinwheels in order to divert attention from your true imposter status? Both of those are exhausting, my friend. I've been there. So, today I have got three bite-sized tips to help you own your secret sauce and feel head-tossing confidence.

You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top-ranked business coach and reformed over-analyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.

Hi there, welcome back to The Uncommon Way. Today, we are continuing our miniseries on the secret sauce. In our last episode, Episode 80, we talked about finding your secret sauce. But now we're going to go a step further, and we're going to talk about owning your secret sauce.

This really goes hand in hand with impostor syndrome, which keeps so many women from playing full out. But also, it's important because it can sneak up on you at any time. Maybe you think you're past it, and you set your sights on some new goal and boom! there you are all over again questioning everything.

I was talking to a woman the other day who had founded a software company that was extremely successful. But when she thought about growing it even more, she couldn't help thinking, “Maybe I've reached my limit. Maybe this is The Peter Principle and I'm just done. Here's where I stop.” When we talked about potentially selling the company, she was saying, “I just don't think I'm the kind of person that could go out there and sell it.”

So, this comes up at all levels, my friends. Whatever is going on for you, wherever you are, I want to help you overcome that, like yesterday, because you've got big things to do.

Today, as always, you'll get three super useful and actionable tips. I'll give you one tactical to-do, one mindset related tip, and one about the energetics of the situation. By the time we're done, you will know how using one specific hashtag, or at least the principle behind it, can overhaul the way you feel in just 30 days.

And why, in many cases, what many people are actually paying you for most is not results. Yes, I said it - not results. You'll see what I mean. You'll also know what should be at the root of every sales interaction, and client interaction, that you have, bar none.

Before we get started, I have an invitation for one of you out there. Now, next month is Black History Month, and I would love to invite someone from our community who is a Black entrepreneur to host an episode for us during that month. You would simply be giving one tactical tip, one mindset tip, and one tip for energetics to our audience, and anyone else out there who would benefit from this share.

I know there would be so many people who would be grateful, including me, and I invite you to get in contact with me through any means that you want. I'm on all the socials at The Uncommon Way, you can DM me, or you can drop us an email.

Okay, let's get down to the good stuff. My tactical tip for you today, is that you have got to desensitize yourself to talking about it, to owning it. You are going to need baby steps here. It's like when my son Dylan decides that all of a sudden he wants to change where his hair is parted. But his hair, of course, is used to parting to where I've always parted it. Now that he's doing his own hair, of course he wants it to go the other way, because he is after all my son and wants to do his own uncommon way.

But that's not going to happen overnight. It's going to take consistent, repeated action to coax the hair in another direction. Whenever you are having thoughts of being an imposter or not being good enough, I guarantee it is not the first time you've ever thought that. That is not part of your higher self and your natural essence, saying, “You know what? Maybe I'm an imposter.”

No, that is conditioned thinking, something that's been given to you, and that your brain has thought over and over again, and it's become a pattern. It's become a pattern that jumps up every time you're moving into a new level.

So, I am going to challenge you to talk about your secret sauce, or what you do so well, once a day. And each time you do, I want you to think in your head that you're using a hashtag, #notsorry. #notsorry. “I'm not sorry for just speaking truth about what I do so well. I'm not sorry for owning this.”

I first tried this for myself when I was doing something a bit unrelated. I was taking my son, for the first time, for a month in Greece. This is when he was not even two years old. It was something I dreamed about and saved for. Yet, when the time came, I noticed myself feeling really bad about sharing it on social media.

When I started investigating that, I just questioned, “Why exactly am I ashamed about this?” It coincided with a lot of inner work that I had been doing, and I realized how much resistance I had to being perceived as too braggy, in owning accomplishments, and owning an uncommon lifestyle.

So, I decided to go the other way, to actually start a series of posts about my trip to Greece where I wouldn't be checking myself. I'd kick it off with a post with #notsorry, just listing 10 things about myself that I no longer wanted to be sorry about. Well, it really struck a nerve, and caught on. So many women started joining with me in this.

Somewhere, for instance, in their post you would see, “…and I went to Oxford #notsorry.” It felt amazing. It was like in the Barbie movie when the Pulitzer Prize winner says, “Wait a minute, I did write a book.” Through consistent repetition, and especially if you're lucky enough to have others join you in this, so you're not alone, it will start to feel like you're waking up out of a fog.

I really recommend that you try this for 30 days to see what a difference it makes. And just to let you know what's on the other side, here I am years later, I've made these month-long trips part of our yearly routine, and we are now moving to Spain because I did so. Many women have told me how much that inspires them.

When you say ‘the proof is in the pudding,’ you all, my new website, that will be launching soon, is going to be plastered with pictures of me living the good life in Majorca and really owning the life that I've built. So, I do hope you'll help me celebrate that in month and a half or so when it goes live. I'll let you know.

Now, when I was talking about #notsorry, I was using that on social media. But you do not have to do this 30-day practice on social media. You might choose to do it on social media, in which case, you could just be dropping one line into your post that has to do with you owning your secret sauce just in passing.

“Oh, this is something I do. This is something that clients love. This is something that I've just always been good at.” Or you could choose to do it as an entire post, maybe resurrecting a moment from the past where this has just been so innate for you. Or how you've cultivated it, or how you've used it in service of your clients, or even getting real about how it can be challenging to recognize and own our own gifts.

But if you've been with me for any amount of time, you probably know that I'm not tied to social media. I don't even think you need to be on social media. So, some of you may prefer to not use social media at all, or to sprinkle in your 30-day practice with other places. Even just mentioning it to your family is a step forward. Even just saying it in passing to an acquaintance or a stranger.

There are so many opportunities and venues for you to just express it. That is all we're talking about here. It's where you become comfortable with taking something that is inside you and expressing it out into the world to be received.

Okay, let's talk mindset, shall we? The mindset that you want to maintain, comes through parsing out all of the different things you do that add value. In whatever situation, your brain might be telling you that you don't add enough value. But not only are these things valuable, specifically, your secret sauce is so valuable that it might be worth paying you, regardless of whether it brings the specific result that the person wanted.

Now, stay with me here, because some of you might be freaking out thinking, “Oh, no, that is just bringing up all of my worst fears about being salesy, and not having integrity if I'm not actually going to get these results to people that I promised.” What I mean, is that those results could just be the cherry on top.

It's worth you doing the inner work to really think through this, and to stretch your mind into how it might be true that just your secret sauce alone is worth an investment with you, is worth your price tag, or is worth your entire price tag. You can think through what you do. You can think through the way you do it. And you can think through how you are. All of those are entry points for you to begin this little exercise.

Maybe your people didn't really know that thing existed, and that that alone is going to be so life changing over the course of their life. Or being surrounded by it will be so helpful for them to believe in it. Or it will just be so reassuring for them to have it.

I'm thinking of two examples here. One is, once I was talking to one of my first coaches about this new client I was bringing on. She had this amazing new concept that had just never been done anywhere before. I was so lit up and excited.

My coach looked at me and she said, “Jenna, I would never take on that client. The fact that you get so jazzed up about uncommon businesses, are willing to be a champion for those of people, and to do the extra work of having to understand industries that you don't already know, that's going to be life changing for those people. Because up until now, they haven't fully believed that it can work. And here you are, as a business coach, saying, ‘I can't wait to work on that with you.’”

Do you see how over the course of that person's life, of potentially going off in some other direction rather than that business that they really wanted, they then meet me, and through that interaction plant their stake in the ground and say, “Yes, I'm doing this,” how that is so worthwhile? That alone.

I'm thinking of a landscape architect I worked with, who was just a genius at making people feel comfortable. Really managing all the different personalities, and all the different priorities of all the teams that have to come together, in order to create the kinds of magnificent backyards that her clients wanted.

Her clients could feel that right away. It was so worthwhile for them to move forward with her because it was a load off their plate, a load off their mind, that they weren't going to have to be coordinating between different companies, or worrying about personality dynamics.

They just knew that it would be done smoothly and handled, and felt so reassured. Even if they had had to hire a separate landscape architect, that job alone was worth so much, over the course of the four months or six months, whatever it was, that this project was being completed.

In the Clarity Accelerator, we have an exercise where we really pull this apart and give ourselves the opportunity to ground into how this is true for us and our specific people. And once you've really, really taken this in and accepted it, it makes it so much easier to sell with integrity. Because you know the value you're giving people is so much heavier than they're even really recognizing at that moment.

If we had time right now, I could go through client by client, every single one of my clients, and tell you exactly why their secret sauce is so fundamentally important for their precise people. I know I believe that 100%, and I know they do too, because they've worked on this.

Speaking of clients, I know in the last episode I shared a few things that people had said that I just found so inspiring, when they were talking about why they were choosing to go forward and invest. I heard back from a few of you that you loved hearing that. So, I'm going to share some more.

Because these gets so good, I get shivers every time I read these. There was one woman who said,

“I want to be a woman who plays big, and is financially successful. I feel so strongly that more women in power, and earning more, is better for everyone. Studies back that up, and I want to be a part of it. I was brought up by a feminist with money issues, so I'd like to take the next steps in that and be a feminist with money. I can see so many options and opportunities that open up with more money, and I feel ready to step into that.”

She went on to say, “I want to run a company that is a good company. I want to make money doing good things. I want to help and empower more people through it. And I just need some clarity on how to move forward with the business ideas, and the team that I have already, so that they feel fulfilled, fairly compensated, and really part of that mission as well.”

Oh, I love these. It's like when you get to that point of ‘here's why I'm doing it,’ the most beautiful things come through. And as you're feeling that energy, this is the perfect time to talk about the energetics. Now, the energetics of really overcoming impostor syndrome, and owning your secret sauce, is about shifting into your welcome energy.

Let me tell you a story about Rachel, who was a client that tended to be really overworking and doing everything for her clients, but was plagued with a bit of imposter syndrome. That they wouldn't really recognize and appreciate all of it.

As you could imagine, that could lead her to compromise on her price, and on what she would and wouldn't do for them. Sometimes they would say things like, “Well, could you only do this instead of doing all of the things? Could we just get this one little piece from you.”

I told her, “Rachel, you have gone through so many things in this journey. You've spent so much time learning the ropes. You can keep them away from so many pitfalls...” she does luxury brand consulting… “That every time you are interacting with a new client, or a current client, you need to show up like, ‘You're welcome. You are welcome that I've done all of this for you, been through all of this, and learned the hard way, so that you don't have to. You're welcome, but I'm here to help you.’”

Sometimes you can completely change a dynamic just by you remembering who you really are and deciding to shift into that energetic.

Now, I don't think that requires too much information; I know that you love these episodes to be bite-sized and digestible, so I'm going to stop here. But if you want to hear more, you can go back and listen to my podcast episode with Rachel; it's Episode #47.

All right, my friends, get out there and own your shit. You know who you are, and each day you are stepping further into what you are here to create. Talk to you next time.

Hey, if you want true clarity about your secret sauce, your people, your best way of doing business, and how you talk about your offer, then I invite you to join us in the Clarity Accelerator. I'll teach you to connect all the dots, the dots that have always been there for you, so that you can show up like you were born for exactly this.

Come join us and supercharge every other tool or tactic you'll ever learn, from Facebook ads to manifestation. Just go to TheUncommonWay.com/schedule and set up a time to talk. I can't wait to be your coach.

Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity First strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.

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Ep #80: How to Find Your Secret Sauce: Tactics, Mindset and Beyond

Episode Summary

Jenna shares three tips to discover what your secret sauce is and explains how it can be distinct from your passion.

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Show Notes

Your secret sauce, that thing you do so well and that comes easily to you, is often overlooked. Business books tell you to figure out what sets you apart and capitalize on that, but you don’t recognize it for yourself because you are too close to it, making it hard to put your finger on it.

Today, I give you 3 powerful tips to help you unveil your secret sauce. Your secret sauce is made up of two things: your personal secret sauce and your offer’s secret sauce, often called USP (Unique Service Proposition). Seeing yourself objectively can be challenging, so I share questions and examples to guide your reflection.

Your secret sauce can be distinct from your passion or what lights you up and I help you discover which to focus on. Tune in to learn how to stop your brain from keeping this information hidden and instead open your mind so your fear of failure doesn’t come in the way of finding your zone of genius.

What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

• Questions to help you examine different facets of your life and interests, with a specific focus on the similarities and roots of those things.

• What makes your secret sauce.

• How the belief that you don’t have a secret sauce keeps you from seeing it.

• How the fear of failure gets in the way of getting clear on what your secret sauce is.

• A real-life example of how turning my passion into a business sucked the joy out of it.

Listen to the Full Episode:

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Full Episode Transcript:

Your secret sauce is something that will be wildly helpful and valuable to your future clients, and they need to know about it. But what if you're not sure exactly what yours really is, or if you even have one? Get ready, I've helped hundreds of women discover their secret sauce, and I'm here to help you too.

You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top-ranked business coach and reformed over-analyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.

Hey, everyone, welcome back to The Uncommon Way. Today, we are talking about the highly coveted but often elusive secret sauce, that thing you do so well, much better than most people. That's totally you, and usually comes rather easily to you. Or at least, it's something you can't really stop yourself from doing.

I say “elusive” because often we don't recognize it for ourselves. And there's some pressure to do so because all the business books tell you ‘figure out what sets you apart and capitalize on that.’ With good reason.

Think about what happens if you don't. You may have wishy washy messaging that calls to nobody. You might be tentative in your sales. You might not fully stand out like you should. You may be overworking because you're not really sure what you do, so you're doing all the things. Maybe you're struggling with your niche, because you're not sure exactly what you're offering. It can play out in many ways.

And so. while I'd love to be able to tell you, “No, don't worry about it,” I actually think this is something you should give consideration to. We don't want all that for you. We want something different and much easier and more rewarding.

So today, I'll be giving you three concise but powerful tips to help you uncover your secret sauce. As always, it'll be one tactical to-do, one mindset tip, and one that has more to do with energetics. By the end, you will know how your zone of genius, or a secret sauce, can be distinct from your passion, or what lights you up, and which of those to focus on.

You'll know which thought pattern will make the entire identification process feel less like Sisyphus rolling a boulder up the hill, and more like the systematic brain hack that it should be. And I'm going to share how to counteract your brain's tendency to keep this info hidden rather than surfacing it for you.

But first, I have some important disclaimers, which are, as it relates to business, I consider your secret sauce to be made up of two things. There's your personal secret sauce, and then there's your offer’s secret sauce, which is often called a USP, or Unique Service Proposition.

Now, we're going to save the USP part for a future episode, since when people are looking for info regarding their secret sauce, they typically mean their personal secret sauce. Your personal secret sauce is made up of more than just that thing you do or provide that is so unique and special. It's also your personality and perspectives and strengths, etc.

But in this episode, we're going to be focusing on the thing you do, because again, it's what's of primary interest to people who are searching for their secret sauce. So, let's dive in with a really tactical to-do. You have got to hack a part of your brain into perceiving as if you were objectively doing a holistic, methodical inventory that will make your secret sauce apparent.

Now, it's challenging for us to see ourselves objectively. But if we could, our secret sauce would be much more recognizable. It's the same kind of thing that makes it easier for us to see what someone else should do, or the pitfall they're walking into, or their secret sauce.

Okay, how do you do that for yourself? Honestly, some people choose to outsource it. Some people choose to work with a coach who has a track record of helping people do this; who can be objective to them and help them see what they don't see.

But you could also poll people who you know in different environments about what they see, and then aggregate that data and look for common ground that resonates with you. You could also walk yourself through some sort of framework or series of questions that has you examining different parts of your life, your interests, and your successes, with a focus on the similarities or the root of all of those things.

Questions like: What was it that made that so easy for me? Why did they think that was so helpful? As you're doing this, of course, pretend you're someone else. Pretend you're someone else answering those questions. Some kind of watcher who has access to your mind, but isn't in it.

This is exactly what we do in Module 3 of the Clarity Accelerator. For us, it helps us connect the dots between the work we're here to do in the world and the people who will most appreciate it.

Now, if a part of you is wondering, “Wait, wait. Shouldn't I be looking for the thing that lights me up the most, that I feel super excited about?” The problem is, if you're like me, you probably have many things that you're passionate about, for a while. Or some, it maybe lasts for a lifetime but when you bring a business angle to them, it kills the joy.

Looking for my passion in this way is the exact line of thinking that had me creating a travel blog in my 30s. Because I thought, “Nothing lights me up like travel. Nobody finds the cool off the beaten track places that I do or sees what makes a specific place so special.”

But guess what? Turning my travels into a business sucked all the joy out of it. It was really hard for me to be in the moment and soak it all up, which is what I loved, when I was constantly documenting and photographing and trying to motivate myself to just go see one more thing.

Now that I look back, my secret sauce was shining through. The same eye that helped me pull out exactly what was so unique and different about a place, that's the same talent that lets me see it so easily in people and helps me zero in on the gold. It's part intuitive and part analytical.

So, focusing on my passion and using that to help me uncover my secret sauce was a long work around. Doing some deeper analysis would have gotten me there more quickly.

Okay, before we move on, speaking of secret sauce, which always makes me think of my amazing clients of course, I wanted to share something that someone shared with me lately about why they decided to join the Clarity Accelerator, which is my hybrid mastermind/one-to-one coaching offer.

I hope this will really be inspirational and thought provoking for you, because I love this stuff. I love hearing other women's thoughts about why they decided to do something; it usually helps me clarify my own decisions.

So, my client said, “I want to model for my daughters that a higher version of ourselves is just on the other side of fear or risk. It's time to jump off cliffs. I enjoy a good challenge, so bring it!” I love that. I literally threw my head back and laughed when I read that line.

Here's another, “When I get clear on a thought or idea watch out, because there is no stopping. Having clarity is going to allow me to call in exactly what is needed to drive inspiration and aligned action.”

Finally, “I know I'm capable, but I also know I have blind spots. I don't know what I don't know. And I don't want to be wavering and waffling over the ‘what ifs’ all along the way. I'm here for a smart start, because it's time for me to show up and make a difference.”

Don't those get you going? Doesn't it make you want to just call your imaginary assistant and be like, “Clear the calendar. I'm rolling up my sleeves, and I've got some work to do.” So, thank you, my friend; you know who you are; for allowing me to share that with everyone. It was so good.

Okay, let's talk mindset, shall we? Specifically, I want to give you one super helpful mindset tip regarding discovering your secret sauce. That is, that it is already there, my friend. You are just too close to see it. But that doesn't mean that it's not there. I'll tell you in a sec why this is so important.

But just to give you a personal example about when I was struggling with clarity of what I wanted to do with my life. I had an epiphany one day, where I realized that, “Wait a minute, if we're able to connect the dots in hindsight, if it's always been there and we just weren't quite able to see it, that means that right now those same dots are right here in front of me. I just need a different lens.”

Why this is important, is because if you are trying to access a solution from a state of either ‘maybe I don't have a secret sauce,’ or ‘this just feels impossible,’ then your ability to access it, access the truth, and the solutions you come up with in order to access the truth, will not be effective.

It can start to feel, like I said earlier, Sisyphus rolling that boulder up the hill. Whereas, if you're trying to solve the problem from the place of ‘oh, it's definitely here. I just need to maybe go out and get some exercise. Maybe gather some new data from some other people, see if that sparks anything for me. But it's right here. It's right on the tip of my tongue, I just need to find it.’ Then, you will drastically reduce your timeline to your solution.

I get to see this over and over. But just to share some stories that will help you build evidence for yourself. I remember once, this happened in the span of a single week, I had two clients that weren't really sure. Specifically, they wanted to create an offer, but they just weren't sure what they really offered. Which is another way of saying, “I don't really know what my secret sauce is, and what's special about me.”

I remember there was this one person who felt like she was stuck between doing courses on how to market yourself on LinkedIn, or if she should do high-end art consulting. As she was telling me about this, she was just lazing on this beautiful sofa with all of this amazing art surrounding her. I mean, in my memory, it was just dripping from her body.

But she's sitting there looking at me on Zoom, having this serious conversation, and I just took a snapshot of her in that exact moment and sent it to her. I said, “Try to see what this is like from an outside perspective.” It was so obvious.

Now, this is something that you either will or will not resonate with. There are some people that would feel much safer doing a LinkedIn course, and that's all they ever want to do. But my people actually want to uncover their thing and do something that they will really, really love, and find people who will really, really love them doing it.

In the same week, I was talking with a coach who also wasn't quite sure, and yet this woman would just bounce around in front of the camera. Sometimes in her underwear, or breastfeeding; she seemed to have no inhibitions. She was just this ball of vitality.

I said the word “inhibitions” there, and that's kind of giving you future forecasting into how perfectly that fit for her, to help women that were feeling more inhibited. Because it was just something that she did very naturally and automatically, and that she actually spoke passionately about too; if she could hear her language, if she could hear her words from the outside.

Again, when you're seeing it all the time, when you're around it all the time, it doesn't stand out for you like it does for other people. Specifically, when you're in the mindset of ‘I don't really know what I do. I don't have anything extra special.’ And/or ‘I don't know if this is special enough to be marketable,’ you're going to arrive at different results.

All right, are you ready for the energetics piece? Energetically, you need to be moving into, ‘I'm ready’ energy. So much that holds us back, just like when I was looking for clarity around what to do with my life, so much of what holds us back is internal.

It's not just that we're too close to it, it's that if discovering our secret sauce means that we are then going to have to own it, declare it, and step into it, why would any smart brain ever do that? Especially for women. It goes against so much of our conditioning, right?

“That's not humble. People will have thoughts about that. And then, what if you do declare it and you sell people on it, and then can't really deliver? Or you're actually kind of mediocre; the thing that you were saying was such a wonderful secret sauce? I mean, you're good at it, but you're not great. I mean, really what is worse than failure or mediocrity? No, it's so much better to just keep saying you can't figure it out.”

My friend, I am only saying this because I have been there. I can so clearly see, in hindsight, that what was keeping me from getting clear was my fear of failure. I've seen it over and over again with clients, in different ways; maybe secret sauce, maybe something else.

Very frequently there's one piece of resistance that's kind of in the background there. But it's powerful enough to keep us right where we are, rather than moving forward. But you are ready. You have to move into ‘I'm ready,’ because now is your time to create this leap, this huge uplevel in your life.

I was on a discovery call just recently with somebody, and we were talking about how she has this plan for the next few months, she knows exactly what she wants to do, and that if she came on board in the Clarity Accelerator, I would definitely be able to help her tighten up some of her messaging and to incrementally increase her results.

But here's the thing. During our call, we talked about her grand vision. After we got off the call, I wrote her a note. I said, “You know what? I think it is best that we wait until afterwards to begin.” We had talked about this on the call too, so it wasn't out of the blue that I said this.

But I had this strong premonition that the real reason she was coming to me, for that grander vision, is, in fact, that she is ready for that. And that will require an overhaul of her positioning, and her really stepping into that self, that woman.

Which would impact what she's planning to do for the next few months, and I don't think she'd want to do it anymore. I think she would be so called to the other. And if she really believed she could step into it she would be doing it, if she believed it would be successful.

So I told her, “You know what? Let's wait.” Because most people that come to me, this is what they truly want. Beyond even the messaging or the sales or clarity on their offer; those things are just tools for creating their greater transformation, their next big leap into a land that seems a little daunting.

I was just talking about how if they really believed, if they could see the future, how that might change their current actions. And it's fascinating, because my son is in the process of being diagnosed with ADHD. And so, I am learning so much about the brain, just being a mom who's researching this topic.

Of course, I already considered myself quite an expert on the brain when it comes to the subjects of personal change. But now I'm seeing the correlation between future forecasting… it's called being able to put ourselves in the future, and therefore use that knowledge and belief to change our current actions in the present… and how extremely difficult that is for my son, already knowing that it's difficult for humans.

The book Freakonomics is basically about this subject, but now I really know how it works in the brain. And I also know that we are so lucky to have the type of consciousness we do, as humans, where we can stop ourselves, we can use a different part of the brain to access the information that will best serve us, and to follow through with goals and commitments and ways of being that will most serve us.

We do have the ability to override the part of our brain that might otherwise keep us stuck. And so, if you feel yourself holding back, definitely get help. That could be just shaking things up, it could be getting into a great peer group, mastermind group, it could be working with a coach. Because there's just too many downsides to not moving forward.

When I walk clients through this, they are almost always amazed to see all of the tiny, little, micro ways that our current situation is affecting us, in terms of our energy. In terms of our future earning potential; which we're not going to be earning next year, because we're going to be waiting a year to finally start taking the steps we need to take. Therefore, five years won't be earning what we would be earning five years from now, if we started now.

How it affects our emotions, how it affects our relationships, how it affects all these tiny, little details. But that, of course, is not what our brain wants us to concentrate on when we're in the place of potentially avoiding a dangerous situation. No, our brain wants us to focus on, “What's one more month? I'll just put this away for a while and come back to it a little later. I'm doing okay right now, I can just kind of continue along as I'm doing.”

But once you hear “the call,” you're not going to not hear “the call.” They'll just stay there knocking at the door until you uncover or move into whatever is next for you.

All right, that is it for today. I am so excited for you to gain more clarity about your secret sauce, and then use it to call in your right people. All right, my friends, you know who you are, and each day you are stepping further into what you are here to create.

Hey, if you want true clarity about your secret sauce, your people, your best way of doing business, and how you talk about your offer, then I invite you to join us in the Clarity Accelerator. I'll teach you to connect all the dots, the dots that have always been there for you, so that you can show up like you were born for exactly this.

Come join us and supercharge every other tool or tactic you'll ever learn, from Facebook ads to manifestation. Just go to TheUncommonWay.com/schedule and set up a time to talk. I can't wait to be your coach.

Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity First strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.

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Ep #79: The 3 Pillars of Choosing the Right Niche for Service Businesses

Episode Summary

Jenna gives tips on finding your best niche in an effective and stress-free way.

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Show Notes

If you’re aiming to generate immediate interest, establish yourself as an authority, and build a strong referral system with your business, this episode is for you. While developing a following before understanding their needs is a common approach, it often pays off in the long term. What if you needed something that worked yesterday?

This week, I explain how finding a great niche can attract business to you. Join me as I discuss three tips to overcome mindset blocks that might lead you to choose the wrong niche. I also share real-life stories highlighting the benefits of aligning your niche with your vision.

Discover how finding your niche allows you to build a business you love rather than one you feel obligated to. I teach you how to make the process of finding your niche anxiety-free, bringing clarity to your mindset and confidence in what you have to offer. Tune in to discover why meeting people face-to-face is the most effective way to understand their needs.

What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

• How to create a business you are passionate about.

• Real-life examples showcasing the benefits of having a niche.

• Why you should not rely solely on your personality.

• The importance of stepping outside to meet people.

• Strategies for finding the right people.

Listen to the Full Episode:

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• Ep #33: Turn Your Insecurities into Great Positioning

Full Episode Transcript:

There are two extremes in business that both get you nowhere. One of them is being stuck in inaction because of ruminating and overthinking. And the other, is burning yourself out, spinning your wheels with fruitless action that gets you nowhere.

One of the prime areas in business that triggers these behaviors is finding your people, aka choosing a niche. So today, I'm going to give you some short and sweet guidance to help you choose your best niche most effectively.

You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top-ranked business coach and reformed over-analyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.

Hey, welcome back to The Uncommon Way. I’m so happy you're here. We've got a great episode today about niching. Because what better way to move into the new year than making some powerful decisions and getting into the action of building your uncommon business and life.

So, this is for you, if you're just starting out or if you're looking to refine your fairly successful business, you want it to be more aligned and to flow more easily. Or if you've had significant success, but it's feeling stale and you're wondering what's next. What I'll be sharing will be simple, clear, and concise.

I've got some exciting news for those of you that have been around for a while. We're introducing a new format here. For every topic that we discuss, I am going to give you three actionable tips. One that is very tactical and strategic. Another that is mindset related. And a third that has to do with the energetics of your business.

Because this is our very comprehensive style, here at The Uncommon Way, you need all three to grow the kind of business that you want to have. So, you'll get all three of these perspectives today. You'll also get to hear how our approach at The Uncommon Way is radically different from most of what you'll hear elsewhere, including top content creators like Gary V.

I'll talk about why if you're only thinking your way into your niche, you're missing out on one of your most important tools. And I'll share top mindset blocks that will have you choosing the wrong niche. You definitely don't want to let yourself fall into those. I'll tell you what your mind should be focused on instead.

Now, there's good news. Choosing your niche doesn't need to be anxiety producing at all. It can be a very natural and organic piece of your business that seems to just click into place.

I've got to tell you what inspired this episode for me. We just got back from our family holiday trip to see my husband's parents in Texas, and my parents in California. As you might be able to imagine, trying to do all of that location hopping within the Christmas crunch of travel brought along a couple of flight delays and a good amount of airport time.

Which, by the way, ended with us streaking through the Chicago airport trying to catch our flight. It was the last flight out, back here to rural Pennsylvania, for the night; we'd, of course, been away from our home for a week.

My son was having the time of his life. He thought this was the most fun ever, to go on this family run. At one point we were stopped on an escalator behind some other people, he turned around to me with his huge glow and he said, “So many emotions!” I just had the laugh. I love it so much that he has such emotional awareness at the age of six.

Anyway, that is not the point. I digress. So. here I was in the airport and I took the time to do a little bit of market research for a completely different project. I was googling, actually YouTubing, how to find your niche or how to choose a niche.

I was so surprised that the top hits had the same message. That message was, “You are your brand. You don't need to choose a niche. You just need to go out and create content. And then, business will come.” This is what I call personality marketing. It's develop a following of people and then figure out what they want and then sell to that.

There are so many people that are talking about this strategy. Gary V. was one of the top people on YouTube. I remember another business mentor, Jenna Kutcher, she started this project for her husband to actually have an online business. She was detailing their strategy.

What they did was they just had him posting for a year on Instagram, about whatever he wanted. Then, at the end of the year, he basically polled people to see what they would want to buy from him, what they'd be interested in learning from him, and then created a product.

This was pretty similar to the strategy I first learned in business, when I studied with Marie Forleo. The point there, was really to just go out and add value. Which meant that you go into Facebook groups and you answer people's questions with helpful tips. You just try and help people in any way that you can, and then your business will sort of come to you.

But I want you to notice something in these stories that I'm telling you. That is, the elongated timeline for creating a business. Even in the case of Jenna Kutcher’s husband, who of course, through her immediately established a huge following. He was marketing for a full year before bringing in any money.

I thought it was particularly ironic, in this Gary V. video that's the top of YouTube, because Gary V. had a $40 million business before he ever started content marketing. He grew it the old-fashioned way. Yet, he's sitting in the car, in this video, advising this young college kid not to even worry about a niche, and just to go out and produce content. But this college kid is about to graduate, he doesn't have any money.

Having a successful business means that you're making money. Certainly, in my case, I couldn't wait a year or two or three, or however long it takes for a nobody to start content marketing, develop a following large and active enough that you'll be able to pull them, and figure out what you want to sell to them.

I needed to figure out something that would work yesterday. And of course, I'm grateful to all of that, because it made me figure out what I now know, and search out mentors that could help me grow business in a different way.

It turns out that my skepticism was well founded. Because later on, when I got into masterminds, I had one colleague who had, I believe, was 50,000 people following her on Instagram, and she was a Forbes columnist. She had a regular column on Forbes. So, she had huge visibility, but she wasn't making any money in her business. When I say that, I mean she was bringing in under $50,000 a year.

Therefore, do not just rely on your personality. I'm not saying you should hide your personality. I'm not saying you should be single focused and only talk about one thing, but a great niche will help drive business to you. It creates immediate interest among your people. It establishes you as an authority, and it builds a very strong referral business, word of mouth, where people say, “Oh, I know of somebody who helps with just that thing.”

I'm sure you've heard examples like this before, but let's say you want to have your backyard landscaped, and you really want to bring a piece of the tropics home. And so, you want this tropical theme in your backyard. As you look through all the possible landscape designers, you're noticing that they're all saying they can do all the things.

But then, you come across a company and they specialize in tropical backyards. They know exactly which plants look tropical but grow in your climate. They know how to create the feel, and the aesthetic, and bring in the right furniture. Even if that company is priced a little higher, chances are you're going to go with them.

So, how do we do that? Well, this week we're going to start with energetics. I don't know if we're going to do that with every episode, always start with energetics, but this week, that's where we're going. Because I want you to notice something else in the stories I just told you.

I want you to notice the slightly passive energetic there, behind ‘I will fully wait and see what my people want, and then sell them that.’ It's kind of like a renaissance artist who was beholden to their patrons to decide what they were going to paint. It's so different than the way that many artists are practicing today.

Of course, you have to have a keen eye for market interest and the interest of your people. But that is met, that is matched, with a huge component of self-expression. And so, this is my energetic tip for you all. You are here to express your zone of genius. Yours secret sauce in the world.

And that benefits other people; it benefits both of you. Through the delivery of that expression, you evolve, you grow. Through being served by that expression, they grow, and they evolve.

And so, first and foremost, see the alignment of that dynamic. See how natural it is that these groups of people, your people, would be attracted to each other. That the universe would help facilitate that coming together. Just notice how easy or difficult this feels to accept.

I have seen it over and over, that my clients who really don't believe that have faced challenges. They faced challenges like shiny object syndrome. They face challenges like imposter syndrome. Because if you don't believe that you have a unique and very special gift to give, then you're always going to be comparing yourself to everybody else, offering that kind of service, and feeling like you might come up short.

Now, I actually have a great earlier episode on something like, how to Turn Your Insecurities into Great Positioning. We'll link to that in the show notes, in case that's you.

But another thing that can make this so challenging, is that, over and over, it makes people willing to settle. They're willing to cut short their dreams and play small because they think their success is something they need to grasp for. They think they need to find some lucrative niche out there that's underserved and they can come in and capitalize on that, at least until someone better than them comes along.

So, it really has nothing to do with them, it's just market dynamics. It's just numbers. And so, if they find themselves not selling, then they think it's the wrong niche. And then, they'll hop to another niche and another niche, and they never gain the traction and momentum and the skill building that they need because they're always starting over again.

And if they do have some success, because I've seen that as well, inside, they feel a little empty, because they were never called to work with these people. This isn't really what motivates them, or anything they really care about.

I've used the example of myself for how I had learned to get myself out of debt but that didn't mean that I wanted to teach people about getting themselves out of debt. I didn't want to teach people about managing their finances.

You don't need to go out trying to force yourself to be a square peg in a round hole if you believe you are here for something specific, and that there are plenty of people attracted to that. And you won't feel like you have to go broad and be everything to everyone, because you'll know your secret sauce is liquid gold.

Alright, now let's talk mindset. If you're in the energetic of actively stepping into your zone of genius, then your mind isn't going to be thinking there's one magic and lucrative niche out there.

Instead, you're going to be thinking, “I just need to find the people who want this.” And, very important point, “I can create a business around whatever I want. All I have to do is solve a problem or provide a solution, then help show people why this solution is the one for them. But I know what it is that I'm here to do. And I know it's going to be successful because this is what I'm here to do.”

I had a client once who was just a ray of light, yet when I went on to her website it felt so heavy and sad and tired. That's fine if she was really compelled to serve that specific market, but when I dug into it with her a bit, she told me that those were the people that had been coming to her. So, she felt that those were the one she had the help. Also, they needed her so much and she felt obligated to help them.

Now seriously, y'all, how willing are you going to be to do what's necessary to grow this amazing business that you're feeling obligated about? Versus a business that you love doing? It's night and day.

So, now let's talk the strategy, the tactics, the how tos. If you are not building a cult of personality, and if you're not diligently analyzing market trends on your spreadsheets, and if you're not saying, “Well, I'll just take whomever comes to me,” and if you're not guilted into what you think you should be doing, then how do you find the people?

Here's what you need to do. You need to get very clear on your secret sauce. Very clear on what you are here to do, and why. And if you aren't sure on that, you are welcome to join us in the Clarity Accelerator, because that is the first step of our process.

Because once you know that, you only have to look for a niche. A niche of people who are also, in some way, aligned with that vision. That make such obvious sense to sell to and to work with, because of the huge benefit that you both will receive. So, I'll give you some concrete examples of that.

When COVID first hit, I completely shut down my business coaching business. I didn't have as many mind management tools as I do now, and I just remember feeling like all the other business coaches were out there talking about doubling down on how you can still sell during COVID, here's how to sell. I just had no interest in talking about any of that.

What I wanted to talk about was, “This is an earth shaking, life altering moment for you to really get clear and know what you're about. Let's create that kind of laser focused clarity for you. It's now or never.”

Obviously, what I've done now is combined the two; the business and the clarity. But back then, here's what happened. As I broadened out and tried to talk to everyone about clarity, I realized that, first of all, it was challenging for me to talk about being back in the corporate sphere, for instance. Because it had been so long since I'd been there.

It was challenging for me to talk about getting clear on something other than a business, because I had never wanted to do that myself. I'd never wanted to do anything other than have a business. As I forced myself to reflect on my own process and my philosophy and my beliefs, I had to walk my talk. Because if my work in the world is really about helping people live an uncommon life of their choosing, then the people most aligned with that are business owners.

Sure, I could help people do differently in corporate. I could help them with out-of-the-box thinking inside the lab. But for this complete life overhaul, of living in this completely new way that you have designed, that's going to be challenging to do when you only have two weeks of vacation a year. And the people who have businesses or want to start businesses are already self-selecting. They're already stepping out of society to some extent and saying they want to do differently.

And so, do you see how that kind of knowledge helped inform my decisions, and showed me why entrepreneurs were my people, and always would be my people? From there, I was able to create a pivot that aligned it all for me. It's like it clicked, or fell into place.

If you imagine looking up at the night sky, and every single point of light could be a different niche, a different thing you could be focusing on, you feel how overwhelming that feels. Instead, think about if you already knew exactly what you're about, what you're really here to work on, and what you're here to do, and that is your north star.

And now, to find your people you only need to look right in the vicinity of that star. You no longer need to contemplate the entire universe. And once you do have an idea or two, once you've gotten real about who these people most likely are and need to be, then you go out and you test it.

You move from thinking into action. Because here's why: Your body is a beautiful tool, and it’s so often overlooked by those of us who are up in our heads all the time; which you probably are if you're listening to this episode.

When you get into person-to-person interaction with these people, when you're talking to them and asking them the questions that need to be asked in order to get inside their heads and be able to create offers that land for them, you're going to feel, in your body, if this is a ‘hell, yes!’ or a ‘meh.’

My friend, which would you rather create a business around if, going back to point number two on mindset, if we're holding the mindset that we can create the business that we want? Exactly. This is how, with the right combination, the right energetic, holding the right mindset, and then just following the steps and the tactics, you can create a wildly meaningful and profitable business for yourself.

All right, my friends, that's it for today. Come back and join us for the next episode. We'll be doing the exact same format but with a completely different topic. Talk to you then.

Hey, if you want true clarity about your secret sauce, your people, your best way of doing business, and how you talk about your offer, then I invite you to join us in the Clarity Accelerator. I'll teach you to connect all the dots, the dots that have always been there for you, so that you can show up like you were born for exactly this.

Come join us and supercharge every other tool or tactic you'll ever learn, from Facebook ads to manifestation. Just go to TheUncommonWay.com/schedule and set up a time to talk. I can't wait to be your coach.

Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity First strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.

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Ep #78: Meditation for Closing the Past and Creating the Future You Desire

Episode Summary

Jenna leads you in a thirteen-minute guided meditation that allows you to close the past and open the future.

Join us in the Clarity Accelerator by scheduling a call here.

Enjoy the show? Leave a review to help other like-minded entrepreneurs gain clarity in their businesses.

If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.

Show Notes

Today, I offer you an extra special gift for the end of the year.

This episode is a guided meditation intended to assist you in closing the past and opening the future. You may not know exactly what the future holds, but this daily practice will help you remain open to the universe’s gifts and surprises.

This episode is here for you to repeat for the next thirty days, either in the morning or at night. See where it takes you, be open, and watch yourself reinvent an uncommon life and self.

What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

• A guided meditation intended to help you close the past and open the future.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

• If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.

• Click here to sign up for my newsletter and find out how the Connect The Dots Method has helped clients in all stages of their business.

• Follow me on Instagram for behind-the-scenes content and daily value bombs!

• What’s been the most helpful episode? Comment on our Podcast Thread or DM me on Instagram.

• Click here to learn more about the Clarity Accelerator.

• Ep #77: How to Reinvent Yourself in 2024

• Ep #36: How to Harness Spring Energy for Your Business

Full Episode Transcript:

Hey, we're bringing you something extra special as a year-end gift today. It's a short meditation to help you open into your future, regardless of whether you're clear on exactly what that will be or not, and to close the book on the past.

If you do this for 30 days, either last thing in the evening or first thing in the morning, you can watch your year transform. You can repeat it at any time throughout the year when you're welcoming in new energy. Maybe there's a new launch, a new offer, a new income level, or you're moving on from a discomfort or a learning moment of some kind.

This meditation is based on the principles that we talked about in last week's episode on reinvention. So, you must listen to that first so that your brain is primed to actually move into growth rather than reverting to the status quo.

I just want to mention that even though we're beginning a new year, we're still in winter here in the northern hemisphere. If we observe nature's own patterns of reinvention, this period is when the trees and the bushes are doing the groundwork for spring. All of that potential energy is gathering. All the pathways are being laid.

When you feel that you are at that moment when the physical manifestation of your internal work is about to spring forth, when you've cut ties with the past and wholeheartedly welcomed in the change that's coming, then I recommend you move on to another meditation that I put out in Episode #36. It's called “How to Harness Spring Energy for Your Business” which we’ll of course link to in the show notes.

All right, my friends, 30 days, okay? You got this.

Hello, and welcome to your meditation for closing the past and opening to the future. I invite you to sit or lie down somewhere very, very comfortable. When you're there, relax your body into the world around you.

Feel yourself supported.

Feel how easy it is to forget your breath, to forget your heartbeat, and let that be taken care of for you so that you can be here right now.

Feel the outline of your body dissolve.

Feel your thoughts settle.

Feel your sensations heighten.

What is the sensation on the back of your body? On your hands? Your chest and heart area? Your stomach? Your legs? Your toes?

What does your neck feel like? What does your face feel like?

Now, imagine yourself feeling twice as relaxed. What would it be like to be twice as relaxed as that?

Consider how we tend to repeat similar patterns of emotions and ways of being in our lives. Which means we tend to stay in the energy of the past rather than cultivating the energy of what we want to create.

Imagine your past attached to you in some way. It might be strings of energy. It might be like dense stones, in a backpack that you're carrying on your back.

Now, imagine just taking an eraser and erasing that energy. Or taking these dense pebbles and tossing them into the ocean.

Notice where you might resist that process. Notice the things that we might want to stay tied to; the successes, the pains that help us justify our identity or our ways of being, situations or even loved ones, events that marked us, ways that we have thought about ourselves.

Recognize that whether we want to or not, we are not really connected to our past except in our mind. Our past is no more. What is, is here in this moment.

As you feel your past dissolve, turn your attention to the future and what's ahead. You might wish to consider today. You might wish to consider this month or this quarter.

Notice if fears arise, or a sense of resignation regarding how this might look.

Direct your thoughts instead and focus on how you desire it to look. How are you showing up as your best self? How are the people around you reacting? What is happening? What emotions does that bring up? What changes in your body as you think about this?

This is the sensation of alignment with your future. Know that you can return to this sensation at any time, and being in this state will help attract what you desire. It is very powerful.

Finally, imagine opening a channel to aid you stepping into this future.

You might imagine opening doors in a hallway with a large key. Or opening windows into the sunshine. Think of all of these as portals that you are opening, that are allowing in everything that you desire.

As you open them, a light streams toward you and fills your body.

Imagine the color and the quality of that light. Imagine it filling every nook and cranny of your body, and your cells are soaking up this light.

The light then filters out into your aura, becoming magnetic, and beginning to touch the people around you.

This is you activated. You are actively calling in your future by shining like a beacon.

With this power you'll consider how you want to shine that light. What you desire in terms of actions, in terms of new choices, in terms of how you will love yourself and those around you, and what you’re creating in the world.

Know that this meditation is something you can return to at any point throughout the year, at any time that you want to align with your future. It is done.

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Ep #77: How to Reinvent Yourself in 2024

Episode Summary

Jenna discusses how you can reinvent yourself in the new year and offers a special end-of-year gift just for listeners.

Join us in the Clarity Accelerator by scheduling a call here.

Enjoy the show? Leave a review to help other like-minded entrepreneurs gain clarity in their businesses.

If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.

Show Notes

Why is it so hard to change? Well, for one thing, our brains like doing things the way they already know how. They are naturally resistant to change, but resistance doesn’t lead to reinvention — which is exactly what we want for the new year. 

In this week’s episode, I discuss the mindset and tactics for showing up new in the new year. I share the number one tool for the quickest and most effective brain change and how to implement it. I also unpack the single biggest misconception about my work and the Clarity Accelerator program and give you a heads up about a special end-of-year gift for listeners.

Tune in to understand how to challenge preconceived notions about ourselves and spark evolution. Make this next year the most powerful and fulfilling one yet, and ask yourself, what waits for me?

What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

• Why most people don't change and how to override this natural tendency in our brains.

• The single biggest misconception about my work and the Clarity Accelerator program.

• How old thoughts and vibrations keep us in the past.

• A single tool for the quickest and most effective brain change.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

• If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.

• Click here to sign up for my newsletter and find out how the Connect The Dots Method has helped clients in all stages of their business.

• Follow me on Instagram for behind-the-scenes content and daily value bombs!

• What’s been the most helpful episode? Comment on our Podcast Thread or DM me on Instagram.

• Click here to learn more about the Clarity Accelerator.

Full Episode Transcript:

Hey, friend, what is possible for you in the next 12 months? What more confident or calmer or clearer or unbound version of yourself is waiting to emerge? And then, what new results will that create for you? It's going to be challenging to know for sure if you are too tied to the past, or if you don't have the tools to usher in the future. So, let's get into it and make this next year your most powerful and fulfilling yet.

You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top-ranked business coach and reformed over-analyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.

Hello, and welcome back to The Uncommon Way. When this episode comes out, I will be either in Houston or California visiting family for the holidays. It will be so much sunnier than it has been in Pennsylvania. We have just had weeks and weeks and weeks of gray, foggy, interestingly enough, foggy, rainy, drizzly weather.

Before this, I was actually sitting with my LED light, just to kind of chase away those winter blues. Hopefully, I'll just be kicking it up when you hear this. But I know that no matter how much I've got going on in my life, even if we're racing to get planes, and we're transferring from here to there, and we're at big family holiday parties, during this time of year my mind always starts to muse about what the next year holds and how I'm going to transform in that time.

I notice it while I'm walking my dog or brushing my teeth, or in the waiting room at my doctor's office. You too? Okay, then. So, let's talk about how to actually do it, how to go from being this kind of person one month, and then just becoming someone else who shows up very differently, giving all the people around you whiplash, because whoa, you seem different. Where did this come from?

As we always do, let's talk about both the mindset and the tactics, because that's just how we do it around here. I will walk you through why most people don't change, even when they want to, exactly how to override this natural tendency in our brains, how I first noticed myself doing this and when I finally understood, like a flash of illumination, how I was doing it.

I'm going to share the single biggest misconception about my work and the Clarity Accelerator. And I'm going to give you a heads up about a special year-end gift I'll be bringing to you next week.

But first, I'd love to give a shout out to a listener who left this review. This is from BLeaWhite, titled Clarity in life and business.

“Jenna has an amazing way of simplifying the fundamental steps of gaining clarity in life and business! Every episode contains enlightening tips that spark inspiration and excitement for the future of my coaching practice. I’ve joined her Clarity Accelerator program and it has been a gift that keeps on giving! If you are looking for a business coach that operates from integrity, intelligence, and spiritual expansion then you are exactly where you need to be.”

I just feel compelled to share that she also put a little sparkle emoji right at the end, that just makes the whole thing so pretty and magical. I want to thank you so much for taking the time to do that. And of course, for joining me, putting your trust in me, and for your kind words.

When I get a new review, I feel so energized. I love knowing that it's helping more women find this podcast and through it be supported to live amazing, uncommon lives. So, if you found any of these episodes useful, and you want to spread some holiday cheer my way, and in the direction of new women who are waiting to hear these words, then please leave a review because it's the best Christmas gift that you could give me.

On Spotify it's super easy, you literally just click a button. And on Apple, you can click to rate and then just leave a few words, anything would be really helpful.

Okay, let's dive into some reinvention. I am so passionate about this subject; well, in anything mindset, of course. Because I have seen the thrill it gives women, and of course I know the thrill that I personally get when you not only cast off the shackles of patterns and ways of being that haven't been serving you, and you're really listening to that part of you that's longing to emerge.

Or maybe you prefer to think of it as the ways of being that your soul wishes to return to. Personally, I believe it's a combination of the two. While there are, of course, natural parts of us that get covered up by years of conditioning or hard knocks or societal norms, our souls are also here to evolve. And so, we are never where we're going. And we are creating ourselves as we go. It's one and both.

I started playing with reinvention at a really young age, because I grew up in the military and we would move every few years. It just gave me the perfect opportunity to start fresh anywhere we'd go. We all know how kids love to judge and categorize, I remember being at one school and I was the shy girl. When we moved, I decided I didn't want to be the shy girl anymore.

Then, I remember at other points in my life, I didn't want to be the smart girl either. I wanted to be the completely average girl that wouldn't be intimidating to any boy; I cringe looking back on it. But I went through several of these reinventions, and it became really fun for me.

Of course, as I got older and older, I found that I kind of converged on the feeling of who I really was. But like I said, there were always some next thing calling to me. I've watched myself change and grow so much over the years, even more so since I became an entrepreneur, of course. Because entrepreneurship is the single greatest personal development journey for any woman.

Anyway, I had no clue how I was actually doing it. I couldn't help anyone else do it. But now I do, and I'm going to break it down for you in a second. But first of all, there's this important point, did you know that you can just decide to be different? You can.

So many of us have adopted a fixed mindset and we tell ourselves, “That's just how I am.” Or we've listened to other people telling us that's just how we are. But if you could switch up that one belief, you will be probably 75% of the way to where you're going. Just that one toxic thought holds so many of us back.

Now, I know some of you might be feeling the hairs on the back of your neck prick up right about now and you're saying, “But Jenna, what about neurodiversity? The way you're wired, you can't change that. And trauma responses that are just kicking in?” Etc., etc.

I do think it's interesting and curious that we have a tendency to really focus on what we perceive is unchangeable, rather than what can be changed. Our brain will hear something and will immediately scout for the 1% where that may not be true, rather than focusing on the 99% where it is. I'll also say, that even within, for instance, those two topics in particular, there is so much room for change and growth. Even within that.

I say this as someone who has been in EMDR therapy for over a year now, and has really drastically changed my own trauma responses. I've seen the shifts that are absolutely possible. I do have some neurodivergent points, probably undiagnosed ADHD, which I'm learning more and more about as I study it on behalf of my son.

It's so funny because my husband is too, and every once in a while, he'll be looking over at me, he'll be scratching his head, and he’ll be like, “Um, Jen, listen to what it says here. Listen to the symptoms, these characteristics.” Many of the points hit very close to home.

But again, I've seen how my experience of those symptoms change based on things that I'm doing, things that I'm thinking, and patterns of behavior and belief.

Just to address one other objection that might be coming up, none of this talk of becoming somebody else or reinventing yourself is meant to spark shame, or to further entrench an idea of ‘not good enough.’ But instead, it's to allow our beautiful evolution, to challenge perceived limitations, and any minute of any day can be the moment of beginning again.

But of course, the start of a new year is such a natural time for thinking about this. I just had to bring it up and talk about it now. But whenever you are listening, this is a great time.

So, you know how a lot of us will select a word of the year? If you are believing that only certain things about you can change, you will be limiting your possibilities without even realizing it.

But what if you could choose anything, if you open to it, if you listen and are honest with yourself? This is the fluttering of something new, and your attempt to give it form through a word. It's your potential and your future knocking on your door, you just have to heed the call and then be courageous enough to do the work to bring it into reality.

Which, of course, is exactly the work that we do in the Clarity Accelerator, for ourselves and our business. So, if you've been feeling like you are moving into reinvention, or some uplevel for yourself or your business, you should join us and create the space for yourself. Declare that you deserve the space for yourself to explore that, and then to create that.

Because why hang out in the energy of 2023 any longer? Why live in the past when you've got big things to do? That reminds me of the single biggest misconception about my work and about the work we do in the Clarity Accelerator.

Some people assume that clarity is something for new entrepreneurs that haven't yet figured out their niche, or their best aligned way of creating profit. But your soul and your business' soul couldn't give a flying fuck about the stage you're at in business. When you hear that knock, meaning you've evolved out of your current business or current way of being in that business, it's for a reason and it is time to evolve, even if it's scary.

We all feel the desire to get clear on what exactly is going to emerge and what that means for us. Can we really even do it? How are we going to support ourselves through it? What are the steps we're going to take? How are we going to create it? This happens to all of us. I have worked on this with seven-figure business owners, with multiple-six figure business owners, with business owners bringing in $50,000 a year, and with women that are just starting out.

I repeatedly go through the process, too. I'll tell ya; it keeps happening, we keep growing. A couple of years ago, I couldn't even imagine that I'd be sharing some of the things that I'm sharing in my Uncommon Story series. Or that I'd let my social media team put out a picture of me in my bathing suit, let alone to be talking about energetics and energy. Oh my gosh, that was the thing that I kept under wraps the most.

Yet, here I am now heeding the call within to be exactly who I am, to express all different sides of me, and to stretch and to express. It's been a wild ride.

If you're not doing that, and I don't mean posting pictures of yourself in your bathing suit on Instagram. I mean, if you are not leaning into your evolution, whatever that might look like... If it's been a couple of years or several years since you've thought about burning everything to the ground and recreating everything from your current vantage point... Not that you will need to burn everything to the ground, but as a thought experiment, to really help you get clean as you consider your future.

If it's been a while since your last evolution, I’d get curious about that. Because we know what we want our endstate. We're so in the state of who we're becoming that we just act from there all the time, and in a seemingly effortless way attract whatever we desire.

But how do we get there? What I tend to see, is this anchor effect that holds us back. That is, that we get tied to our past, or we get tied to the status quo, and it can become like our comfy security blanket. And so, it becomes really challenging to successfully evolve.

This is the same reason that so many people don't change, even when they say they want to. Why so many New Year's resolutions go unfulfilled. We say we want change, but all of our brain power is going towards the same fears, the same old thoughts, the same old complaints that keep us in the vibration of our past, rather than calling in what we desire.

We've got to cut ties with the past. It's like a snake shedding skin, it no longer fits or serves. Even if we wanted to hang on to it, which so many of us try valiantly to do, we're really just carrying these layers, these dead layers, on top of us. It's not the shiny, alive, living, breathing entity that we could be seeing.

There is no shame, because we all do this. We are literally wired to maintain the status quo and to only evolve when we're forced to. But we don't want that for ourselves, do we?

So, let me paint a picture for you. Imagine a triangle is called the “motivational triad.” It depicts what motivates us. At one vertex of the triangle, you have ‘the avoidance of pain.’ That's very motivating, right? On the other, you have ‘the pursuit of pleasure.’ That shiny, dangly carrot out in front of us. It's motivating too, because you want that carrot.

But then, why is it, even when you have both of these… For instance, maybe you know that overworking is completely stressing you out, it's affecting your health, and you're not even being all that productive.

You know that if you could create more space in your life, it would be so much better; you'd be so much healthier, you'd have better relationships, on and on and on. Why is it still so hard to change? Same with weight loss, exercise goals, and any New Year's resolution things.

You definitely don't want to be where you are, you definitely do want to be in your future, and yet, it's so hard. Well, it's because there is a third vertex on this triangle we're talking about, and it is called “the efficiency factor.” All that means is, that your brain is actually motivated to not change, to conserve energy, and to be its most efficient.

Which means it keeps doing things in the ways that it's already learned to do. It's not going to spend time creating new neural pathways, because our brains consume so much energy, such a large percentage of our energy, that doing that would require even more energy. And we need that energy just in case, for survival. What if a tiger jumps out?

Again, we're carrying around brains from hundreds of thousands of years ago, essentially. No matter how much your inner visionary sees the Garden of Eden on the other side, part of your brain’s like, “Not so sure, you’ve got to sell me on it.” And because that part is unconvinced, it can be really sneaky.

I think of this as having a really amazing executive assistant; I call her Miss Peterkins. She's this person, this powerhouse, that has really been running the show behind the scenes for so long. Everyone knows it. Every once in a while, her boss, the CEO, comes up with some great idea. But Miss Peterkins knows that that will only throw a wrench in things, and it's actually a terrible idea.

And so, even though she nods diligently and takes notes on her steno pad, she walks right back into her office and keeps doing business as usual. In her mind, for the best interest of the company, she's protecting the CEO from herself.

Now, luckily, Miss Peterkins is wildly efficient, as we've said, and so once she is actually bought in on your vision, once she's actually on your side, she is going to be doing so many things in the background for you, making this all once again run very, very fluidly and effortlessly.

So, that's the good news. But getting there means that you've got to create a ton of desire if you want to escape the status quo, really get clear on what it's costing you to be where you are, and then have the tools to deal with the efficiency factor in real time.

Now, we don't get taught any of the stuff. When we try to start, so frequently, when we start making this change, it really activates our nervous system. Even if it's a “good change,” because it feels different and therefore unsafe.

This is why lottery winners will win all of this money, but pretty much return to their old standard of living within a few years. That way of being, that level of income, is more known, and therefore much safer than being wealthy. In fact, acknowledging and pursuing our desires has been downright dangerous for women. So, even considering it can trigger our nervous systems.

But… But the good news, we are so fortunate to be living in this day and age, where we have so much understanding of the human brain. Yay for us, upending hundreds of thousands of years of evolution.

So, here's what I recommend for you if you want to create the life you want, which will require radically different ways of being to drive the results, given what you're capable of; and I know you're capable of a lot. First, you’ve got to open yourself to the possibility and establish some baseline belief that it's possible.

If it doesn't seem possible, then go out and create the evidence that your brain is not naturally going to bring you because of confirmation bias. So, go out of your way to find stories of how women have actually changed and transformed, sometimes, seemingly overnight.

And then, sometimes there's a really subtle distinction, which is, “Well, I do believe it's possible for other people, but not for me.” We all think we're special snowflakes, but we're really not. And so, think through ways in which you have done things you didn't think you could do at first; walking, talking, hooking a bra behind your back.

I used to watch my son, who is the consummate perfectionist, so competitive and so hard on himself, telling himself that he would never be able to ride a bike, and getting really upset with us for not buying into his story that he wasn't going to be able to ride a bike. We just knew he was going to be able to ride a bike. You have created so many new things in your life, and you can do this too.

Alright, the second thing is, you have to decide. Which requires you being willing to leave behind some things. So, maybe you're thinking, “Oh, yes, I want to show up more boldly.” But there's this other programming, this other voice that’s saying, “But you need to be a lady.”

Those two might be in conflict. In fact, they probably are in conflict, because so often, being a lady, or in a more modern way of speaking, just being a good woman, would mean that you're willing to put others before yourself and be humble and let others take the stage.

If you really want to move into a different way of working, for instance, with fewer hours, then you have to be willing to leave behind the part that says, “But then maybe I won't get anything done at all.” You have to be willing to let things go and then be willing to do the work. You have to be willing to move through that discomfort we were talking about.

You have to be willing for things to feel a little weird and unsettling, and have some vulnerability hangovers, or whatever it is based on what you're trying to move towards. So, open to it being possible, and then decide to go through with it.

Finally, you need a process for actually creating change, and hopefully drawing on teachings from modern neuroscience in order to expedite your results. Now, what we've learned from modern neuroscience easily surpasses the scope of one episode. It's the subject of entire advanced coaching and therapy certifications. It could easily be its own podcast. But I'll try to break it down into a bite-sized blurb for the sake of simplicity, in just a second.

We are seeing that the brain is so, so much more plastic, meaning it can change and it can rewire itself. And it's so much more plastic than we realized 20 or even 10 years ago; which is fantastic for us. We have more information about how to interrupt and how to reroute current thought patterns, which of course are just signals firing in our brain.

And so, on a practical level, we don't need to spend 20 years in therapy to work through each and every hurt feeling we ever experienced, thank God. I love me some therapy. It feels great to get things off your chest, but I don't want that to be the key to my success because it feels never-ending. Are you with me?

The beauty is, all we have to do is work on the core stimulus response pattern and install a new one well enough that it becomes the default. Now, this can sound rather unromantic. I remember I was speaking with a potential client who said, “You really like to talk about the brain, don't you?”

And yeah, I do. I love to talk about the brain. Remember, my secret sauce is being able to move back and forth between the left and the right; although that's not really a thing. But that concept of the left brain and the right brain, or the masculine and feminine, however you choose to look at it. That, of course, and an uncanny knack for seeing the gifts of my clients and what that means for their future business.

Anyway, if you are new here and tuning into this, then you're always going to get both; just fair warning. One minute at science and the next I'll be talking about being in the vibration of your future self more of the time, to then attract what you desire to have and experience. But it's really just two ways of thinking about the process.

And so, all of this science, that's what was going on for me, as a girl who was practicing reinvention. I was getting very clear on the pain vertex of that motivational triad triangle. I was very clear on the possible pleasure. And I was willing to go for it. I was willing to go after it actively.

Meaning, I'd plan ahead for what I was going to do in that situation. I’d say the thing or do the thing, and then I’d observe it as was happening. I’d tune into how it felt, and I'd reflect on it and I’d journal about it. I’d reward myself for stretching. And then I was naturally relaxing my nervous system afterwards. I loved to read and dance and play in the waves, I'd do those things, which opened me to my highest levels of thinking and being.

Knowing what I know now, I can see that what I was doing corresponds to what we now understand from modern neuroscience. I remember the exact moment when this all clicked for me. Here's the simplified blurb that I promised you, ready?

For the quickest, most effective brain change, we need to involve as many parts of the brain as possible. We have such amazingly intricate, interconnected brains and bodies. When you connect different parts, and when different parts are used to activating in conjunction with others, then as soon as one fires, it connects to the others.

Have you ever seen those Christmas lights on the trees where all the red lights will blink, and then all the blue lights will blink? Well, those are all connected on a circuit. We just have a pattern where typically our red lights blink. But our brain is plastic enough that we can get it so that actually, with the exact same circumstance triggering this response, instead of the red lights flashing on, the blue lights flash on.

Of course, the blue lights are strung all over your tree, which represents your brain, so they're all firing in different parts of the brain. Now, it's not as uniform as that, as a tree, but I think this is a good example. It’s the one that came to my head right now, so we're rolling with it.

When you can do that, then you start being like, “Shit, the old me would have reacted and acted completely differently just now. But I just thought of it this way. I just acted this way.” You start surprising the people around you as well, who can't believe that in such a short time you've changed.

I remember once, I've told the story before, about how I applied for a mastermind, didn't get in, and I felt down about it. Then I realized it was because I had had the thought that, “If I were to join that, then I'll be one of those elite coaches.” Well, by then I was already ranking on the first page of Google. But I didn't believe that I deserved to be there. I thought it was a fluke.

And so, when I uncovered what was going on, I determined to reinvent myself in that way to coach at that level, to be the woman who believes she is the coach who deserves to be on the first page of Google. I created that within a month. It was wild how differently I started showing up and actually believing it.

The beauty is, that you can do this new experiencing. You can create this new pattern in your brain with both real and imagined circumstances. I feel like I need to say that again, because it's a trip. You don't just have to go out there and practice in real life, you can also imagine the scenarios that you're practicing with.

Yes, the subconscious part of the brain, where so much behavior and emotion are initiated anyway, doesn't know the difference between the thing happening right now versus your imagination. Recreating that “if” now, if you're really into it and really feeling it, then it will feel real to your body, to your brain. Which is so exciting that we can practice so much of this from the comfort of our own home.

This is essentially what people are doing with visualizations. Again, that can be a whole brain experience when it's done correctly. Which is why they can be so effective, and they can create change in a short amount of time. Not necessarily by themselves, but as a very powerful tool.

Luckily, you don't have to know all the ins and outs of the brain yourself. If you are working with a good coach who understands this, she is constantly prompting you in different ways to engage different parts of your brain and help you create the strongest network and the most direct paths to change.

Plus, if you're working with someone who has personally experienced not just one, but several reinventions, and has helped others do it, then it's going to be such a no-brainer to that coach. Just like when you watch a child who's upset that they can't ride the bicycle but you just know they're going to be able to ride the bicycle.

Through that level of belief, it helps you engage with the work in a different way. It becomes a natural consequence for you too. And of course, that person's energy transmits to you too.

Have you ever listened to someone speak and then you felt different afterwards? You felt energized? It wasn't just because of the inspirational words; it was something about the way they talk. They're at a frequency where it's activating yours. It's so good. It's such a shortcut.

I could go on and on about how great all of this is. And we could continue to geek out on neuroscience for hours and hours, but I know you all are in the holiday period and you have things going on. So, we're going to end it here.

Okay, who is ready for a New Year's gift? This is a tradition that I started long ago. At this time of year, I would always give a special gift to everyone on my email list. This year, I'm doing it on the podcast. But it's coming out in the next episode.

It's going to help you experience everything that I've been talking about for yourself. I have created a short, relaxing meditation for you to listen to, for you to engage with, that will help you not only get your brain on board with where you want to go, and not only get you into that future self high-vibe state, but will also help you activate different parts of your brain and create more rapid and lasting transformation.

Are you ready for this? I am so excited for you. Okay, my friend. That's it for today. Remember, deep down you know who you are, and each day you're stepping further into what you're here to create.

Hey, if you want true clarity about your secret sauce, your people, your best way of doing business, and how you talk about your offer, then I invite you to join us in the Clarity Accelerator. I'll teach you to connect all the dots, the dots that have always been there for you, so that you can show up like you were born for exactly this.

Come join us and supercharge every other tool or tactic you'll ever learn, from Facebook ads to manifestation. Just go to TheUncommonWay.com/schedule and set up a time to talk. I can't wait to be your coach.

Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity First strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.

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Ep #76: The Key to Making It Through the Holidays and Other Challenging Times

Episode Summary

Jenna shares a somatic tool that helps you move difficult emotions through and out of your body.

Join us in the Clarity Accelerator by scheduling a call here.

Enjoy the show? Leave a review to help other like-minded entrepreneurs gain clarity in their businesses.

If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.

Show Notes

In the upcoming weeks, many of us will be reuniting with family for the holidays. This can be a joyful experience or it can bring up old wounds and ongoing pain points. In the past year, some of us have lost loved ones, haven’t reached our business goals, or have been feeling deeply affected by the ongoing tragic world events. Either way, this episode is here to help you get through this month and the holidays a little easier.

I will be sharing a powerful somatic tool that will offer you the space to turn hurt or stress into wisdom. You will learn how to process and discharge heavy emotions and understand why the skill set of managing your emotions is key to your long-term business success and a fulfilling life.

Tune in to learn what to do with your heavy emotions and why they do so much more damage when you resist them. Let this tool be the gift you give yourself this holiday season.

What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

• Why difficult emotions do major damage when you avoid them.

• A somatic tool for moving your difficult emotions through your body.

• How this tool can turn hurt or stress into wisdom.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

• If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.

• Click here to sign up for my newsletter and find out how the Connect The Dots Method has helped clients in all stages of their business.

• Follow me on Instagram for behind-the-scenes content and daily value bombs!

• What’s been the most helpful episode? Comment on our Podcast Thread or DM me on Instagram.

• Click here to learn more about the Clarity Accelerator.

• Ep #14: The #1 Skill for Entrepreneurship

Full Episode Transcript:

What if I told you there's something you can do from the comfort of your sofa that takes just 60 seconds, but will unlock a vastly improved experience of your life? Where you'll feel like, okay, I can handle this. I got this. And as if that weren't enough, by doing so, you'll see all sorts of things change for you.

Such as, being able to get through the holidays without blowing a gasket at your uncle Ned. Get through your to-dos, without your head spinning for days on that thing that's upsetting you. Or be able to get to much better results in your business. You'd want to know more, right? Well then, stick around.

You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top-ranked business coach and reformed over-analyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.

Everyone, welcome back to The Uncommon Way. I am very pleased to bring you this episode today, because this topic will be for many of you exactly what the doctor ordered. By trying out the methods I share, you will be able to create a very different experience for yourself this month.

But it does require courage, because it's something our brains naturally try to avoid. Plus, since we are not taught to do this, we don't tend to have a lot of lived experience of how worth it it is, and how much better it is on the other side. So, you'll just have to trust me and give it a go. Okay?

My aim here is pretty lofty, I am going to help you learn to process and discharge heavy emotions. Which is very timely because there are a lot of emotions going around. Many of us will be reuniting with family and bringing up old wounds or ongoing pain points.

Some of us have lost family or loved ones and so feel that loss acutely this time of year. Some of us haven't had the results we expected in business this year and are affected emotionally. And many of us are feeling pretty shattered by tragic world events and/or the ramification of those events on our communities or families. And to top it all off, I don't know about you, but it is cold, damp, gray and fugly here in Pennsylvania right now.

This episode was originally created many moons ago, it was our Episode #14. I created it to talk about why the skill set of managing your emotions is key to your long-term business success. But it all applies. Everything I said applies to downswings in your personal life, too. So, I'm resurrecting it.

Now, here's what I said in the original episode. I said, the number one skill for entrepreneurship and building your business has nothing to do with tactics or drive. It's definitely not sexy. But it's what will open you up to the keys that make the biggest difference and create the most dramatic results in your business.

But you've got to go through a little bit of fire to get there. It's what most of the world won't do, and yet, you can do it from the comfort of your sofa in just 60 seconds. So, here is what you're going to get from this episode.

I am going to share why emotions and sensations do so much more damage when you avoid them. I will talk about why we resist doing the work, and why it can be difficult at first. I'll walk you through an exercise that you can return to any time you want to help an emotion move through or discharge rather than getting stuck and festering.

Now, that said, there is no substitute for direct professional care. If it will be too triggering for you to bring up an emotion on your own, please seek the help of your therapist and engage with this work only when you have support.

Alright, something else I want to say before we get into it is to reiterate that if you are feeling negative emotions, it's okay. It means you have a human brain. There is such a propensity in our society to be happy all the time, which is absolutely impossible and unrealistic.

I know you know this, but just because everyone on Instagram looks happy doesn't mean they're all happy. It paints such a distorted picture of life, and can bring up a lot of shame when we're not in that coveted ideal emotional place. But there's nothing wrong with being honest about where you are.

I know sometimes my clients say they're afraid of wallowing in it. But as you'll hear in this episode, if you want the sensations to move through you, and often for these things to stop reoccurring to you, don't ignore them and try to slap happy stickers all over them. If you want to discharge them gracefully as soon as it's possible to do so, as soon as your body is willing to do so, then process them so you can move on.

There is such a difference between honestly acknowledging what's going on for you and taking the personal responsibility of moving through it effectively and wallowing.

When I ask someone how they're doing, and they say, “Wow, honestly, I've been going through some stuff. I know, it's not going to last forever, but it's here right now,” I don't think, “They're so negative.” I think, “Oh, here's someone who's probably going to move through a dark time more quickly and/or more effectively than most people.”

There's also this worry that we don't want to be a downer, and we don't want to bring others down. A fear that people won't like us or respect us or won't tune in if we're not happy and doing well.

Last week, I recorded an episode that talked about a difficult time in my life surrounding 9/11. I noticed the impulse of my team, as they were summarizing what that episode was about, to frame with a happy ending. But the truth is, that the happy ending, which was my return back to trust in the universe, trust in my intuition, opening myself again, that didn't happen for years.

Of course, I didn't have the tools, so I don't expect any of you who are in a dark place to have that same experience. But regardless of how long you're in it, when you're in it, you're in it. We don't need to sugarcoat that.

If this is you right now, if you are in it, if you are having some hard times, I want you to know that I feel for you. While it can be frustrating to be around someone who's always a “Debbie Downer,” moving through a tough time doesn't make you that. It, again, makes you human.

So much pain could be alleviated in our lives if we believed nothing has gone wrong when we're feeling down. That we're free to be honest with the people around us. And that if we, on the receiving end, weren't so afraid of negative emotions that we have to distance ourselves from them and from those who are experiencing them.

So, let's talk about what to do with those negative emotions, and how to transform hurt or stress into wisdom.

Whether those are the small micro stressors that eventually build up to the pot boiling over, or it's those big volcano emotions like a major disappointment, we think we can insulate ourselves, right? This is what the brain does. The brain says, “When I have the business,” for instance, “When I have this amount of money in the bank, then I'll feel financially secure.”

We think we can insulate ourselves from ever feeling disappointed, but we're always carrying around a human brain. The human brain is always creating meaning. And, the human brain has a natural negativity bias. So, this is something that we consciously have to counteract, if we want to live a life that is not as painful as would naturally be.

Our brains say, “If I do this or accomplish this thing, whatever it is, then I'll feel satisfied,” for instance, “And can be a calmer person,” right? Notice that sequence that our brain sees; do or accomplish, then feel, and then be.

Another variation is, have-do-be, right? “If I have an audience that loves me, I will do more Instagram lives, and I will be more confident.” But it's always the other way around. It's always, “When I'm feeling confident, I do more lives, and I create an audience that loves me.”

It's so amazing, because really, if you follow the trail of breadcrumbs for anything of what people most want, or what they most want to avoid, it always comes down to a feeling.

Sometimes I'll have a client who is really afraid, and I'll say, “What are you most afraid of?” And it's, “My business won't work and I'll be penniless.” “Okay, then what? What will happen, then?” “Well, maybe then I'll have to move back in with my parents, or ask them for a loan.”

“Okay, and what would happen then? What's the consequence of that?” “Oh my gosh, I would feel like such a failure. I would feel so ashamed having to ask them.” So, you see? It all comes down to a feeling. It is amazing what lengths we humans go to avoid a feeling, avoid an emotion.

I have a mentor, Brooke Castillo, who uses this example of Martians coming down to the planet, and being like, “Oh, wow, what are these feeling things? What are these emotions? Is it like you form boils on your skin and then it just peels off your face, as if you're on fire?” And you're like, “No, it just feels more like a pressure in your chest.” They’ll be like, “That's it?” “That's it.” “And yet, you go through all of these lengths to avoid that?”

Because what is an emotion, really? It’s a sensation, right? It's a vibration passing through your body. If you fully allow that sensation, they don't even last that long, which is the crazy part. They last so much longer, they do so much more damage, when you resist them or avoid them.

I still catch myself, right? There is not a single one of you listening that's like, “Oh, I don't do that. I'm above that. I've learned that.” No, no, no. Because you're human, right? And the brain, your brain, knows you better than anyone. Your brain can take you out of the consciousness of what it's doing behind the scenes.

I catch myself in this all the time. I'll go a whole day not thinking about something, like, “I don't want to think about it.” Or looking on the bright side. Or something that seems so helpful, until I realize this is not helpful. This is not helpful, at all.

And, how many actions do you take from that place? Do you take from that place of avoiding that emotion or not thinking about it, but it's still there, right? It's driving all of your actions.

So, maybe you're feeling devastated, but you're not really dealing with that emotion. And so, you're moving into inaction. Your body just shuts down. You have this collapsing energy, “I just can't do anything. I'm just too… I need to watch the news.”

Or you're feeling rejected, maybe by your audience, and so your language switches to this convincing energy or this kind of chastising energy. Like, “Why don't you wake up, and see what you need to do?” That doesn't create the results you want. That doesn't bring on any new clients.

Or maybe you're feeling ashamed because you think that the actions you're taking or need to take, or your coach is telling you to take, will make you be perceived as salesy. So, what do you do? You don't follow up with that client, or you avoid sales calls. Because the truth is, you don't want to have clients, or you don't want to have sales calls.

This is why improving this skill of dealing with things when they hurt, when they feel uncomfortable, is so necessary. In the Clarity Accelerator, during the modules where we first start interacting with people and we start selling something, that's when this comes up. That's when we have this training on emotional maturity.

I have my clients start to experience this kind of discomfort early on. Part of that is purposeful, it is the muscle they need to build to become resilient entrepreneurs and keep taking bigger and bigger risks. But also, it just makes sense.

Rather than spending years building an audience on social media, we prove that the offer has legs and is viable by actually selling it, or at least selling a part of it. You can tell me 50 of your friends said they think your offer’s so valuable. You can tell me it changed your life and other people need it; I don't care.

Is someone willing to pull out their credit card now? That is what proves viability. So, yes, this brings up some emotions early on, but that's what makes my clients so much more resilient and less self-sabotaging in the long run.

Now, I want to give you some body-based tools, or somatic tools, for transforming hurts and stressors into wisdom, to really processing these emotions. If you haven't processed the emotions from Thailand, yet, and you are sensitive to the topic, I recommend you do that now with me. Otherwise, practice with a personal issue or your strongest uncomfortable feeling in your business. Okay, you ready?

First, you need to establish safety. You need to tell your nervous system that you are safe right now. When you start to actually feel the emotion, it will feel activated, it may think you're being chased by a tiger. First, we're going to establish safety and let a part of your brain know that you are perfectly safe right here.

To do that, all you need to do is feel the seat beneath you, feel the floor beneath you, and then tell yourself, show your eyes, that you're in a room. That you are in a safe place with a roof over your head. The temperature is amenable. There is no immediate threat in your environment.

Take a breath, and then, slowly exhale that breath. Then, invite that emotion in, feel it, feel it in your body. Now, most people can't do this at first, when they're not used to it, and so they'll use their brains.

If I ask a client, “What are you feeling in your body?” They will use their brains to describe it, “I'm feeling shut down.” Then, I will ask, “What does shutdown feel like? What does constricted feel like? How can you describe that to me as if I needed to feel it?”

I have physician clients, as well, and they'll sometimes start telling me the musculature of what's going on with them. And I'm like, “No, no, no. Tell me. Let me feel it, too.” I want you to think in that way about the sensation of your emotion.

Does it tingle? Is there movement? Is there temperature? Is there pressure? Is it dense? Is it light? Is it large? Is it small? What does it actually feel like? This is something we rarely do, just sit and feel an emotion, because it's uncomfortable. Our brain wants to avoid feeling uncomfortable emotions.

But you can do this, you can do hard things. Accept that emotion being there. You can literally tell it, “It's okay. It's okay for you to be in my body right now.” Just like we are not our thoughts, we are not our emotions. You can get curious about it. Most of all, have no judgement about it being there. This is the human experience in your human body right now, and you're just watching it all unfold.

Next, I'm going to ask you to dial it up. This is something we would never do. We always want less of the emotion, not more of the emotion. But I want you to imagine you had an old-fashioned radio with dials and you could just turn it up. I want you to increase the intensity of that emotion, just for a small bit of time.

When you do that, when you're calling the shots, you will instantly feel a shift of some sort, you will feel it lose its power. It's when we resist the emotion that it gathers more power.

I've had a coach say, “What do you tend to do if someone in your household is not listening to you and you really know that they're about to hurt themselves? Or that they really need to hear that thing? You keep following them around and speaking louder, right?”

That's exactly what's going on with these emotions when we're not paying attention to them, they're just trying to get heard. So, soften into the fact that they're there, invite more of it in. Invite more of that intensity in, and just sit with it and watch it.

If we were ever going to drink a potion of a certain emotion, we could do that for… even if we know it would last for 30 seconds, we'd be like, “Ooh, let me try sadness.” We'd feel that sadness for 30 seconds, and it would probably feel very cathartic afterwards, like a movie, tear-jerker movie, and then we would be in an altered state.

So, soften and invite this emotion in as if it's not such a terrible thing. It's a part of your experience and you can be with it. And then, just check in. In what ways does it feel different than it used to? Is there anything that it wants to say to you? Is there anything it wants you to do, shift your body, move in a certain way? Check back in with it in a week?

Then, you can turn the dials back down when you're ready, and you can move on with your day. That whole process can take 60 seconds or it can take five minutes. But what it leaves you with is that clarity, right? That neutrality.

Because I always say clarity is very, very simple, it's that sudden understanding. It's like the curtain opening or the fog lifting. It's like, oh, this; it’s that groundedness. And, you cannot get there from a reactive state.

Your higher Self or your neocortex speaks to you when you settle your nervous system. We can call this whatever we want, right? Whatever you call your most elevated consciousness; whether that's your higher Self, or your neocortex.

I am completely language agnostic here. I'm happy to speak to people about brain science if they're more attuned to that. Or spirituality, if they're more attuned to that. But think about your most elevated consciousness.

Either way, your repressed intense emotions and negativity only lead to an activated nervous system. Science shows us that the higher parts of our brains shut down under bad stress. Therefore, the longer you deny this work, the less access you have to the wisdom, the inspiration, the insights, that are the biggest drivers of your business success.

In fact, I had an early business mentor, who had made a million dollars her first year in business. What she credited to that success was spending hours upon hours doing mindset work on her biggest hang-ups and fears, and thinking back about unhelpful stories and beliefs that she had.

She would not stop the work for that day until she had made herself cry. She needed to get to that level of emotion in order to purge the past and move on with the future, and gain the insights to show up in a much bigger way. She said, with love, “Fuck consistency. Fuck willpower. Fuck the hustle, and fuck the latest tactics for Instagram.”

And your greatest business successes will come from a much different place, one that's a far more beautiful place to be in, too, if you're willing to do the mindset and emotional work that precedes it.

Okay, friends, that's it for today. Remember, on a certain level you know who you are, and each day you're stepping further into what you are here to create.

Hey, just hopping back on with an update. I've added something to this technique that I want to share; which is true for any toolkit that I have. Because mine is an ongoing journey to more deeply understand both the human brain and the human experience, and my role is to pass that along to you as soon as I've discovered something that works for me. Especially when I see it working for my clients, too.

Now, the technique that I talk about in this episode here is something that I myself still use weekly, if not more. It's something I will swear by, even if I just did exactly what I described in this episode. Because as I did it more and more, the timeframe for which I was negatively affected continued to shrink.

By the way, when I say “negatively affected” what I mean is that strong charge. Like the charge you feel when you're triggered or when emotions feel overwhelming. “Of course, I'm still horrified by world events. Of course, I still wish my uncle Ned were more considerate.” I don't really have an uncle Ned, but you know what I mean.

But through processing the emotion, I don't feel the same charge anymore. Not only does that feel much better and more resilient, and change my direct experience of pain, but since my nervous system gets into a better place different parts of my brain are able to fire, are able to come online, which help me have much better coping mechanisms. Therefore, I take better quality actions and create better results.

But I've found that if I add this thing to it, it's even better. That thing, is allowing movement. So, I let my body take over and move in a way that it knows it needs. I still scan my body for the sensation fingerprint. I'm still allowing those sensations to be there and watching them from a place of curiosity.

But I just also attune to whether that part of my body is asking for movement. Does my neck want to roll? Do I want to rock? And I trust that this is what my body needs to discharge the emotion.

I think in my old experience of it maybe I would tiptoe into that. But mostly, I expected I was just going to sit in a quiet room and do this work, right? Now, sometimes I do it right in the moment. My son, Dylan, will say something, I'll feel myself get ignited, and I'll just stop right there and shake my body, like you’ve seen dogs do, I'll just shape.

Or I'll flop over like a rag doll for a second and pretend to pick up something off the ground. Or sometimes it's just a roll of the shoulders and a little stretch. But what happens is, I find I'm able to stay in situations and work things out that before would have sent me straight out of the room because I just needed to get away.

So, while you may not choose to do this directly in front of people, do try it when you're alone and processing, as an add on to what I described. Then, of course, you should let me know how it works for you. I really want to know. You can either just quickly hit the review button right there, leave me a few words for other people to also see this episode, or just send me a DM.

Hey, if you want true clarity about your secret sauce, your people, your best way of doing business, and how you talk about your offer, then I invite you to join us in the Clarity Accelerator. I'll teach you to connect all the dots, the dots that have always been there for you, so that you can show up like you were born for exactly this.

Come join us and supercharge every other tool or tactic you'll ever learn, from Facebook ads to manifestation. Just go to TheUncommonWay.com/schedule and set up a time to talk. I can't wait to be your coach.

Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity First strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.

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Ep #75: What Is the Clarity Accelerator?

Episode Summary

Jenna deep dives into the details of her Clarity Accelerator program and VIP coaching.

Join us in the Clarity Accelerator by scheduling a call here.

Enjoy the show? Leave a review to help other like-minded entrepreneurs gain clarity in their businesses.

Interested in one of the three incredible bonus sessions mentioned in this episode? Sign up for VIP private coaching or the Clarity Accelerator before December 15th, 2023, to get them! All you have to do is click here to book a call with me to get started.

Show Notes

If you’ve been wondering about my Clarity Accelerator program or VIP coaching, then this episode is for you. I share details on the changes happening within the programs, along with the philosophy, features, flow, size, and pricing for them. The Clarity Accelerator and VIP coaching are for entrepreneurs at any level, but more importantly, for entrepreneurs wanting energetic alignment and clarity in their business.

Tune in to learn three simple tools that are necessary for a purpose-driven, profit-focused business and the simple truth behind every success story. Additionally, I have a surprise within this episode on the new way of working through the Clarity Accelerator program.

Clarity is about surfacing what is already within you. Schedule a call to see if my programs are the right fit for you and your business goals.

What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

• The philosophy, features, flow, size, time commitment, pricing, and results of the Clarity Accelerator and VIP coaching programs.

• A better understanding of my approach to coaching.

• The simple truth behind every successful business.

• How energetics and clarity can support your business.

• My new approach for clients working through the Clarity Accelerator program.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

• If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.

• Click here to sign up for my newsletter and find out how the Connect The Dots Method has helped clients in all stages of their business.

• Follow me on Instagram for behind-the-scenes content and daily value bombs!

• What’s been the most helpful episode? Comment on our Podcast Thread or DM me on Instagram.

• Click here to learn more about the Clarity Accelerator.

• The Uncommon Way Black Friday Offer available through December 15th.

• Ep #74: [Time Sensitive] Special Offer

Full Episode Transcript:

What exactly is the Clarity Accelerator? I mean, the name is intriguing but what is it exactly, and do I really need it? How will my business change if I'm more clear and certain? Is it even for me? Do I have to be a brand-new entrepreneur, or is it only for people who already have established businesses? Tell me all the things.

Okay, okay, that is exactly what I'm going to do in this episode. I will give you full details about the Accelerator, as well as a change that we're making to it that I know will have some of you doing a happy dance around your kitchen. And since we're at it, I'm going to tell you about my private offer too.

You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top-ranked business coach and reformed over-analyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.

Hey, everyone, welcome to this special weekday edition of The Uncommon Way podcast. Wow, there is some major momentum around here. We have already gotten a response from the special end-of-year offers we shared in the last episode. I believe that's partly because you all are really hungry for these kinds of offers.

But also, because these offers are hungry for you. They're hungry to get to the women that need them, because they're that good. Truthfully, I feel like they were given to me, like I downloaded them from somewhere.

So, if you didn't get to listen to our last episode yet, pull that one up after this one.

Okay, this episode is for those of you that want to hear more about the two offers we have here at The Uncommon Way, the Clarity Accelerator and VIP private coaching. Maybe you haven't been with us that long or maybe you just want a refresher, but I'll give you very comprehensive details, including the philosophy behind the program, the features, the flow of what I'll be teaching you, how large the program is, and current pricing.

And I've also got a surprise, some special news. I'll be sharing a completely new way of working through the Clarity Accelerator. I know that some of you have been dying for this because you've actually told me. You've asked for it, and I listened.

Now, these programs are very comprehensive business building programs. They're meant to give you everything you need, all the way down from the nitty-gritty, in-the-weeds kind of tactics, plus the mindset, plus the energetics, plus helping you through a somatic lens; which just means we calm your nervous system down so you can enjoy this all more. So, you can experience higher-level thinking, have the resilience to go out and take risks, receive more, and not self-sabotage.

That sounds like a lot, and frankly, it would be easier for me to sell one little sliver of this, wrap it up in a tiny bow and niche down, and become known for ‘I am the woman who X.’

But you all, I have been doing this for a long time. I know that we need all of this in order to succeed, and I know that there are so many of you that feel exactly the same way I do.

I remember when I was first in business, for me, I thought it was all about the tactics. Then my coach told me there was probably some mindset issues going on, as well. When I started working with a mindset coach, I realized how much I was really the one holding my business back. I started to see amazing change.

But after that, I started to realize there was another component as well, and then another. And so, I really wanted to continue my growth in all of these areas, but it required me hiring several different coaches for that. It was frustrating, because I would always get to a point in my conversation with that coach where I knew the tactics had taken me so far, but I knew there were these other things at play, too.

But the coach was kind of like, “Well, I don't know.” They would stick with what they knew. We would reach kind of an impasse. And I, myself, like to be in an environment where I can talk about any and all things with my coach, and my coach is down; they get it. It took me years to find that, five years maybe, to find that.

I know building a business for women is the biggest personal development journey ever. It's not that business is so difficult or complex, it's actually very simple; you're providing a solution for people. But because of our human brains and how we've been brought up, it feels very challenging for us to do the things; to step out in that way, to claim our expertise, to get over our imposter syndrome.

To clarify our thoughts, for really big picture thinkers, we just need help sifting through all of these ideas when we are so in them, we're in our heads. So, everything included in here is extremely intentional. Every single detail is what helps my clients get the best results; after all of the years I've spent with them in trial and error.

But I don't want you to get overwhelmed by all of that. I really don't want you to get bogged down in the details. I want you to trust that everything you need is here, and I've got your back. If there were ever a situation where you needed additional help, I would be happy to hop on another call with you. We're making sure that you are absorbing this information, understanding it, and can utilize it.

So, right now, when I'm talking, I'm going to keep everything as simple as possible, as clean as possible, and then you can ask me whatever you want later, if you feel you need to. All right?

Both of these offers are a combination of group mastermind style coaching, of a group mastermind style experience, and private one-to-one coaching. Again, in my experience, that is what works best to help people get results.

Both of them are open to entrepreneurs at any level. Because no matter what level we're at in business, we always need additional help with getting clear on what's involved in taking our business to the next level. We always need coaching and mindset help. We always need help with opening energetically to our next level.

Both are the same time commitment. They are both six months. Because, c’mon on you all, any change requires a concerted effort and a commitment to first learn the change, practice the change, and integrate the change. I'm not here to help anyone go out and just still be a shit show. I want to make sure that everyone comes into these programs one way and leaves as a completely different person.

Now, with both of the offers you'll be interacting with the same women, there's no lower level and higher level echelons. No, we are in this together. This is the beauty of the program. People are always starting at different times. People are different levels of their business. You're learning from all sorts of people that are further ahead of you in business.

But you're also learning from people who are further ahead of you in life, or in some certain type of wisdom or understanding or marketing. That's why everyone has just as much to contribute. It doesn't matter how long we've been in business and where we've been able to go, we all have gifts.

That's part of the ethos of what we're doing here, is helping you really sink into those gifts and believe in those gifts, no matter what the results of your business look like in this particular moment. Because we're all growing very important, impactful, highly successful businesses. We're just at different points in our timeline. It doesn't mean we have any less to offer our mastermind sisters.

So, really, the difference between the two programs is that the VIP private coaching offers more private calls. Those may be every week for 45 minutes, but it's very bespoke. So, if you're the person that would prefer to meet every two weeks for a certain amount of time, that's great. If you want to meet every month for a VIP day, that's fine as well.

I only have about five private clients at any one time, so it's very much tailored to you. Some clients come in and they're really not feeling unclear, they just want the best mindset coaching money can buy as they grow into their next level. And, they very much want it to be done their way. They don't want to cookie-cutter their business into anybody else's framework. They want to know what's next for them, and what the expression is in them that is coming out.

With these clients we also talk through Voxer, back and forth. It helps them know they have a coach in their pocket. And anytime something is coming up in that moment they can get it out of their head and over to me, and then I respond to those messages on Mondays and Thursdays.

Of course, these women also want the support of a community, because don't we all in this very scattered and fractured day and age when you're growing a business?

Maybe not everyone around you is growing a business. Or they don't have the same way of thinking about business. Or they don't really want that very different and unique expression of themselves. Or they're more single focused on just tactics or just mindset.

So, the women that come in really want to be challenged and inspired by other very driven women. This is a very highly curated group of the most amazing, fun, caring, like-minded women, who also want to be wildly successful in business, but still have a life too.

They want to have other people they can lean on. They want to have other people they know have already been through this, so that they can shorten their timeline and learn more quickly from their hard knocks. They want to watch other people getting coached and know that they're not the only ones thinking that way. Or they're recognizing things they never even thought of.

They really want to help their brain believe that all of this is possible for them. They're not just out there alone, floating on the sea with these big ideas in their head. But there are other women, who also are visionaries, that are putting their dreams into action.

Honestly, I have not seen another group like this, with these kinds of women. I am very ‘Mama Tiger’ about the group. The energy of this group and the experience of this group is far more important to me than maximizing my revenue in any given year.

For every woman I invite in, there are two to three that, I believe, aren't in a place to really get the most of this yet, for a variety of reasons. And so, they're not invited in at this time. That's really a win-win, because I never make an offer to someone who I believe won't get great results.

So, if someone hops on the phone with me, they know I'm going to have their best interest at heart, that I'm going to be very candid with them and very straight up, as I hope they are with me. And if I see that they're at a place where we can all do amazing things together, great.

But if I see there some room for growth and if they just work on this thing then they'll be able to get so much greater results later on, then I'm going to tell them and point them in the right direction. Maybe at some other program or some other coach, and encourage them to come back later.

So, if you're not sure about whether you would be getting the best results from this program, then I just recommend you schedule a call. We'll have a candid conversation so that you at least will know your next best steps, from someone who has helped hundreds of women with their businesses and has that bird's-eye view.

This amazing group meets every two weeks for a call. There are true hot seats in this moment. Someone brings an issue that they're having in their business, and have everybody's amazing brains working on your specific business, focused on your business. At that time, of course, I'll add my two cents in as well. But this is very much the power of the collective, the power of the group.

Also, on those calls, I'll often throw in a new training or workshop. Either something that I've just learned, or something that I see is kind of a theme going on with my clients that I really want to address and help them with.

People will also have smaller meetups. They will meet together to either peer-coach or to support each other or to learn from each other. So, it's designed to give you the support that you are desiring as you move your business from where it has been to that next bigger level.

The price for that offer is $25,000.

Now, let's talk about the Clarity Accelerator, which is our mastermind program that also offers one-to-one support. It's priced like most other masterminds. The price changes, and I do not follow any specific logic with this. It's very much my intuitive hit about when we're raising prices. But currently, it’s in the very low five figures, like any other mastermind.

Which is crazy, because like I said before, the caliber of women you'll be interacting with, the one-to-one component, the type of coaching and education you'll get, the fact that there are no other offers out there like this, the clarity and confidence and decisiveness you'll walk away with, and also just because of the intimate size of this group.

If I'm giving full length one-to-one calls to all the members, we have to keep it small. So, this is not the kind of group you get lost in. It's really like semi-private classes with a personal trainer. Where it's just you and a few of your best friends, rather than some big, sweat filled mega-class where you can kind of see the instructor up at the front and no one's really going to know if you're there or not there.

No, I will know the ins and outs of your business. I'll know the way your mind works. And your mastermind sisters are going to know you, too. So, don't be surprised if later, in our private chat that we have set up in our group, you get a note from someone who just had an idea for you. They just had a download and wanted to share it, because it seems like so you.

Again, we meet weekly, this time in the group format. But since it's so intimate, and because people choose different calls to come to, we tend to have anywhere from about two to six people or so on any given call. Then, we have the larger group calls that I mentioned before, every two weeks, with the hot seats and the workshops.

Now, the Clarity Accelerator has a very specific promise. It's designed to get you clear on what you really offer, how to articulate the value of it to the right people, and to actually believe it. There's a lot packed into that sentence, and we are going to unpack it.

But first and foremost, you've got to know that this is for people at every level of business. Again, if you are feeling unclear in any way, I recommend you start with this, just because it's such an amazing value and use of your time. Some of my clients do choose to move into the private coaching later on.

I've met so many multiple-six- and seven-figure entrepreneurs, that when we are together, they’re admitting that when they're not on display, when they're not on show, behind the scenes, they’re admitting, “I'm just not sure if I should be targeting these people. I'm not sure if I'm really communicating my value. …if this is really what people want.”

There's so much uncertainty and a lack of clarity going on that it is drastically impacting their business. Because, of course, they don't quite know what to believe in. And if they can't believe in it, if they don't have that conviction, then that always filters through into their messaging in wacky ways.

So, this is designed to get you into that certainty, that alignment, where all the pieces connect, all the dots connect, you know exactly what you're doing, and you can talk about it concisely.

If you're a newer entrepreneur, this is designed to give you the foundation that's really strong. So that, as you start to implement and as your business takes off and grows more quickly, you don't have to limp along with this limited belief or these uncertainties that are affecting your business in so many ways.

If this happens at the beginning of your business, maybe it's a month without a $3,000 or $4,000. But later on, when you're a multiple-six or seven figures, this is having drastic ramifications in your business. So, we want to clear this up sooner rather than later.

And really, as I've said on other episodes, anything in our business always comes down to some lack of clarity. This is the work that we all need to be doing as we move into the next level. It's not something we can just sweep under the rug.

Next, you're probably wondering, “Well, how do you do that? How do I know that I will get clear? Are you just going to give me a bunch of worksheets where I have to write down who is my ICA, what do I want to offer? I can do that on my own, I don't need a program to have me write down things that I'm already unclear about.”

So, there are actually worksheets for people that love worksheets and love the structure. Over and over again, people tell me they love the structure of this. But there's also a very unique proprietary process for clarity that I developed myself, after having gone through two decades of confusion and uncertainty.

The process that I was able to apply to create clarity, purpose-based aligned clarity for myself, that really connected all the dots in my life. The process I was able to use for that, it turns out can be used for so many other parts of your business as well. I teach you all of that within the Clarity Accelerator.

There is a curriculum portion to the Clarity Accelerator, and there's also an application portion of the Clarity Accelerator. In the curriculum, we're going to be focusing on the three simple keys that are necessary for a purpose-driven, profit-focused business. This is the ‘how can it be so simple’ truth of what's behind every massively successful service business, whether they know it or not.

The first thing is, that you have to know yourself. You have to know your secret sauce. You have to know what you're really about. Otherwise, you're going to be ping-ponging through every shiny object and doubting yourself and backtracking and losing momentum and trying all different things.

You're also not going to be able to sell, if you're a person of integrity; which we all are, right? We really tend to get hung up if our belief isn't there to support us in our selling. So, you need to know yourself.

And then, you need to know your people really well. I've mentioned this in a podcast, too. But I remember, just within the last couple months, sitting on a call with a multiple-six-figure earner who had launched a new offer, and she was really distressed because this offer wasn't selling. She thought she was great at business so she would just launch this new offer.

In the course of the call, she told us about why this offer was so great for her clients, why it would be so good for them, and why it was exactly what they needed. She was just so confused over the fact that it wasn't selling.

But I knew exactly why it wasn't selling. It wasn't selling, because although she could speak with clarity about why she believed it was a great offer, she couldn't give me clarity on why her clients would believe it was a great offer. Why they would think this was the solution for them. Why they would want this more than anything. Why they think it will create such different results.

If you don't know exactly how your people think about their problem and their solution, there's always going to be a disconnect. There's not going to be any way for you to create this amazing offer, that is a no-brainer for them and unlike anything else that they've ever seen on the market, and no one else is selling anything like this; you can't do that without this second piece.

Once you have those two things, once you really know yourself, your secret sauce, what you're about, and you really know your people and what they're desiring and what helps them feel motivated and safe to move forward. Then, the third thing is you just need to talk about the connection between those first two things, you and your people. You need to talk about that in a very succinct and clear way that makes it easy for them to say yes.

I'll break this down a little bit more, but just to let you know, each module begins with a mindset section to address the most common blocks and misconceptions that tend to come up, so you don't get stuck along the way.

You'll learn to build belief even when you have zero evidence, to reprogram unhelpful conditioning, and to uncover the blocks that are in the way that you can't even identify, so you can finally break the patterns that are keeping you trapped in cycles and situations that just don't serve you.

There are quite a lot of resources in this program, and that's because when I was building my business I was very frustrated by the fact that certain information was withheld from me. It was deemed that I wasn't ready for it, yet. And then, I'd get further along in my business, I’d be given this information, and I’d just think, “Well, that would have been really helpful to know six months ago,” right?

I don't believe in doing that. I believe in giving my clients access to everything they need. And so, everything is broken down in terms of the Essentials and then the Recommended. So, if you are running a business, if you are short on time, if you're working a full-time job, whatever your situation is, you get to tailor this to you.

The work is always there, you can always go back to it. But if you just want to make sure that you hit the major points, there's that roadmap for you. If you want the more in-depth experience, then there's the roadmap for you.

After each phase of these three phases, roughly, you'll have a one-to-one call to help you dial in what you've uncovered. Again, we're also talking weekly. We also have a shared Google Drive to share information. But then, we'll have this one-to-one call, so that you are feeling very assured that you've captured everything that you need to capture, and understood everything that you need to understand, and are applying this to your specific situation.

After the first phase of clarity; of really connecting your dots, knowing yourself, uncovering your secret sauce; you and I will meet. After the second phase of really knowing your people and their language, and again, I'll show you how to capture this, how to ask them the right questions, you will have a call with a professional copywriter.

And after the final section, when we really want to dial in your messaging and your sales process; what are the anecdotes that your people need to understand? How are you going to express this? Is there a certain framework or way you're going to talk about it? Then, you and I will meet again.

We'll also have a call in the second half of your program, when you're in the implementation of all of this. Because we'll have better knowledge about your clients by that point, and you'll have more questions that have come up as you're growing your business.

Alright, so let's break down, for those of you that are interested, the first phase, that know yourself phase, what are we really doing in it? The feedback I've gotten from this module is, “Oh, my gosh, I knew all of this, I just wasn't putting it together. I just hadn't been able to say it in that way.”

I've heard people say, “I never even believed in purpose. But now, after doing this work, I can see so clearly how the dots of my life connect, how I have been so primed for doing this thing, how everything about me, my wiring, my experiences, have led me to this. I can't not do this thing.”

I also hear, “These people, my clients, they need to work with me and they want to.” Understanding why what you have is so desirable to your people, and so unique.

So, we begin by identifying this ‘north star’ of your business, the big “why,” what you're really doing in the world, using this proprietary process that I mentioned. That really shows you how your clarity has been showing up for you your whole life. Because it has, it's just that you've been too close to see it, right? Or maybe a part of your brain would rather have you not see it. But it's all there.

In understanding it, it will guide every other decision you make in your business. As you get to a fork in the road, you'll think, “Well, I could go with this group of clients or I could go with that group of clients.” You will be able to ask yourself, which of these choices most effectively brings this vision to life?

So often, you won't necessarily like the answer because it's the scarier choice. But you'll see the alignment of that decision and how really, there's no other way. Our work is just to get your brain on board with it, to move into what your knowingness has revealed.

Next, I'll help you identify your secret sauce or your superpowers, and understand why that is so valuable and desirable to your people. So, you can show up like you're the answer to their prayers. Because you are. This is essential, because no matter how called you feel to making the change you want to make in the world, if you don't believe you're the one to help your people with it, you'll never be able to sell it.

I see this over and over. People at all different levels in business comparing themselves to other entrepreneurs, and deep down thinking that their clients would be better served with those people instead of them. I am here to break that thinking forever.

Then, we'll continue connecting the dots. This time to your best fit, ideal clients. You will land on a group of people… Again, I'll show you the process for this. It is not the typical way you've been taught to think about it… But we'll land on a group of people that you're excited about testing.

Next, clarity is an evolution, and it might be that after you work with a few people you realize that you need to pivot to another point in their timeline, for instance. This is what so many people don't understand. They will choose a niche, often based on demographics, and then they'll be bending over backwards to try and conform to what those people want.

Or they'll be taking their feedback and thinking they need to lower their price. They'll say, “My people just don't want this,” which sometimes is true, but that is a very, very rare case. Usually, what's really going on is that is not their people, that group is not their people.

And instead of focusing their attention and their messaging on this group of people, that thinks in this very specific way, they're wasting their time with people who aren't really meant to be their clients.

This phase is so important for helping you dial this in for yourself. Because once you know how to do this, you will always be able to replicate the steps if you ever want to; when you're rolling out a new offer or when you're pivoting your niche.

As you evolve, often our work evolves as well. And you'll already have the lived experience of tuning in to this for yourself. Understanding what feels like resonance between you and your clients, and where that’s slightly off. Being able to trust and lean in to you receiving better and better clients, better fit clients, and a better experience for yourself in your work.

We wrap up this phase by diving into the specific aspects of your Human Design Chart. To really illuminate your work in the world. What attracts your clients to you. How you best generate wealth. Some of my clients do not choose to do this work, and that is okay. Up until two years into my business, I was completely anti-woo. I did not see the intersection of spirituality in my business.

But for those who are at least open to it, even just to learn what resonates and what doesn't resonate, most of them have said it's an uncanny reflection of what they have already uncovered in the first bit of their work with me. That doing so really helps them feel validated, feel like they're on the right track, or feel like they have the permission to go forward.

Whereas, they might not have believed that if they just gotten a printout with their chart. But now that they've done the work and uncovered it for themselves, their heart of hearts, they see it reflected back to them in this way. It is a game changer. It helps them stop performing and trying to be something they're not, and really understand that their gifts are liquid gold.

All right, from that strong foundation of self-knowledge and clarity, we move in to knowing your people. This is probably what 85% of coaches in particular, but also service entrepreneurs, skip. It is why I have brought in hundreds of thousands of dollars from Google alone, from people that had never heard of me but booked a call once they read my site.

There was really very little nurturing. It was, ‘I see this, I want this, I am buying this.’ So, I want to teach you how to get to know your people like the back of your hand, both how they think and how they talk. And even how they don't think and how they don't talk, because that's equally important.

When you do, you will see that they are actually telling you exactly what they want in an offer, and exactly how to call them in. So that you don't have to do the heavy lifting you've probably been doing in your journals, writing out a million different ways to say things, because they're presenting it to you.

Now, that work can take a couple of weeks. So, I use this period for you to learn about energetics in a way that I wish I had understood when I was starting out. You'll learn how to think big and create abundance by working with the flow of the Universe and your particular way of receiving.

It's as if there is a water hose with abundance flowing towards us, and the Universe really wants to give us as much as we can take. And yet, we pinch the hose. It's just a little too much. And so, we end up pinching it.

Whether the language of energetics is speaking to you, or you prefer to think of it as, we have psychological set points that keep us from moving into certain levels, because on some level we think we don't deserve it. Or we've been told that's not for us. Or it just seems out of our comfort zone. We're pinching that hose.

When you learn to move with trust and calm, you're in a completely different energy, a far less attached dynamic, and your audience picks up on it. And now that you understand your people and what they're asking for, we just have to package your offer simply.

This is what we're doing in Module seven, where we're working on the second part of your secret sauce. The first part was all about you. The second part is the secret sauce of your offer. It's your USP (unique selling point). It's what creates a blue ocean for you and really makes you stand apart.

This is where we construct the offer. It's where we build your belief and understanding about why your way of helping them through their transformation, or through to the solution that they want, is so valuable and so different than anything else out there. It's okay to lean into that and not try to conform to what the market is currently seeing.

I have a client right now who is just blowing the lid off of her industry. Her offer is so different and it's so much higher priced than anyone's used to paying for. I just gave her the example of the coaching industry. There was a time when people only worked with therapists, there were no coaches.

Then, coaches came along and said, “Actually, we have a completely different offer. This is the price for this type of solution that we're offering.” It was a little jarring at first. But of course, it was the fuel that has allowed a whole generation of new entrepreneurs, and a new lifestyle, to really be born into this world. Let alone, personal improvement on every level.

So, this is where we really eliminate the whole idea of competition, and we create something completely uncommon and unique. Again, after this phase, that's when you will meet with your copywriter.

The final phase, phase three, that's where we talk about the actual messaging. How are we going to talk about this thing? It's clear in our head now. We know what we're doing and why we're doing it. We know who our people are. We know how they think. But how are we actually going to talk about it?

This is when a former client of mine said, “Goodbye not knowing what to write or say, or feeling like nothing's landing.” Clarity gives you that confidence. You know you're connecting. So, in module eight, I walk you through the process of creating subconscious and conscious resonance, very tactically.

Conscious resonance is, for instance, with my business, when somebody says, “I know that because I'm not clear, I'm not moving forward. I know that I'm getting in my own way, and I really want to feel confident and decisive.” Because my website speaks to that, they're like, “Oh, good, that's what I was looking for.”

But there's something else as well, and that is the subconscious resonance. For me, it's The Uncommon Way. My people really don't want the cookie-cutter business. They want to create this thing that is different, that is really about an expression of them, and they want to do it their way. All of that kind of language, if you go to my site, and especially the Work with Me page, it's all peppered in there. It's sprinkled in there.

So that, yes, their conscious mind is finding what it needs, but also their subconscious. Their deeper yearning, their visionary, is finding what it needs. We want them scrolling, scrolling, scrolling to, “How can I book? How can I book right now?”

We want their mouths dropping open thinking, “How is she in my head?” We want epiphanies to be firing as you're talking and telling stories. Ways that they'd never even thought about, or things that they'd never even thought about, but all of a sudden, now makes sense for them.

And we want to be able to express the things that they don't know how to do, the things that they don't understand yet. Because when you're at the vantage point of not knowing, you don't quite even realize it so it will be hard for you to see the value. But once someone can lay that out clearly for you, once it's now in your head, you can't unthink it. And that's what helps them realize they need your help now.

In Module nine, we will move into your personal sales strategy, your personal sales psychology. Given what we've learned, what moves your people forward? What helps them feel safe? What do they need to believe and understand in order to say yes?

For instance, if my people believe that the only way for them to find clarity is to wait for it to come, they will never be my clients. Now, that doesn't mean that I have to nurture them all the way from that point of belief to what I believe, which is that the clarity is within and sometimes you just need an outside perspective to help you surface it. But I do need people that very much believe that with help, they can create clarity.

That's just an example of what we'll do for you to really understand what your people need to believe, and what point in their journey you're focusing on in order to speak to exactly where they're at.

And then, how are you actually going to talk about it on a discovery call or on a landing page? What metaphors will you be using? What expressions will you be using? What's the flow of information that you're going to be giving them?

At this point, there's only one thing missing to grow a highly successful service-based business, and that is an action plan. How are you going to move forward from here? How are you going to manage your mind around drama that starts coming up? That is what we talk about in our final module, and in our coaching.

To make sure you know exactly what your roadmap is. That you have a clear plan for yourself of what you're doing next, and then after that. Of course, we will have the time together as you implement that to make sure you're creating great results.

On the topic of results, I just want to have a very transparent conversation with you all, in the same way that I do with anyone that's on a call with me. That's to say, that I have seen women go from $0 in revenue to within a couple months bringing in clients. And then a few months after that, being at the magical $8,300, or whatever it is, to create their first $100,000 year.

I've also seen people go for a year with just a client here and a client there. I believe so much of this comes down to the issues that we need to work out, in terms of stepping into our brightest, boldest self. What kind of hangups we have around visibility, around owning our expertise, around receiving money directly in our own business, not through our bosses or through our partners.

I've seen women at all different income levels be able to accelerate quickly. And I've seen women at high-income levels that were great at doing it in their corporate job, but then when it comes to doing it for themselves it's a whole different ballpark.

I very much believe that whatever path we're on is the path we need to be on, and that it's all good. Because if you have a few issues to work through in the beginning, fantastic. Because then you'll be able to grow so much more quickly and from a much happier, healthier place, than for some of my clients that kind of have it a little easier in the beginning but they tend to have some issues come up later.

And at that point, it's affecting their business in a different way, and they realize they never really did the deep work. They never really needed to do the deep work on their self-worth, or whatever it is. That's okay, we can catch it then, and we can move on. But that does create a stumbling block. It does create kind of a damper on their growth and revenue at that point.

Now this clarity process that I've just been telling you about, we do all of this in… Are you ready for this? Sixty days. Wait, what? You may be saying, “I thought it was six months, I'm confused.” Hold on, I’ve got you. I'm going to explain.

Remember, I have tried all the things, and I've helped clients through these topics over the years. This, by far is what works best. Because here's what happened when I was working with people one to one on this, I would set a timeframe of three months. Then, I noticed that at the end of three months some people were still confused. They still felt not quite sure or unclear.

Me, being the overachiever that I am, thought, “You know what? I'll just extend this timeframe to six months. That way, I'll be sure to get everyone across the finish line. And then, when they finish early, great. Because I'll be able to support them as they're growing their business with the things that they don't even realize yet are going to be challenging for them.”

Most people that come to me think, “If I could just get clear, then watch out world! I'm good.” Usually, the truth is there other challenges or growth opportunities in our business, and a coach will help us create faster results.

Well, would you know, at the end of the six months the same percentage of people were feeling unclear. That's when I finally realized clarity is not about time. Clarity is not about the amount of journaling you do; you probably know this, right? Because you've done a lot of journaling. And if that were it, you would have gotten clear by now.

Clarity is about surfacing what is already within. And sometimes we are just too close to it. We can't do that for ourselves. And even a brain surgeon can't do surgery on themselves. So, counter intuitively, I shortened the timeline. I started noticing that my clients got better and better results; because the answers are within. When we help our brains with that kind of constraint, it works in our favor.

So, this was designed for people who can handle a burst of intensity, and are serious about getting clear and moving forward without delay. I still recommend that you work through it that way, especially if you're newer in business. But remember, I said at the beginning that there's a new offer, a new way of working through the Accelerator.

Well, it's this. I've spoken with some of you and you've told me that while you know you want to work with me, and you would love my support right now, there are some brush fires going on in your business. That there are some things that, while you would love to be supported on and you definitely do want to realign your business and get all the ends tied and get that foundation shored up, you want to do that in a couple months, or a few months, rather than now. You’ve really just got a lot on your plate.

I have listened. The truth is, I want you in the Clarity Accelerator. I want you getting the support you need now, and I'm happy to support my clients with anything going on in their business or life.

And so, for the first time, there is no requirement that you need to complete the curriculum at the very beginning of your time with us. Again, for the long-term success of your business, you're very much going to want to know and understand your secret sauce, make clear decisions about who your people are and are not, understand those people very, very well, and create an effective offer and effective messaging that speaks directly to them.

But I'm here to support you in creating the space that you need and getting to the point where you can focus on that. So, my friend, if you want 2024 to be the year that you've not only blow the pants off your previous business results, but you create an entirely new experience of your business and your way of managing your business... Where you feel like you're stepping into your own uncommon way.

You are confident, you are decisive, you know exactly who you are, who you're for and who you're not for, and what a no-brainer your offer is for those people. How to talk to them in a way that's deeply resonant, so you can start living into what you're here to do, and who you're here to be, in a way that makes it feel more effortless. Because you're not pushing this boulder up the hill all the time, you're just going with flow.

Well then, friend, there has never been a better time to join us. There probably never will be this much access to me directly, and with the amazing bonuses that you'll get to take part in.

If any questions are coming up for you, drop me a note: info@theuncommonway.com. Or hit me up on the DMs anywhere; I'm @TheUncommonWay all over the place. Or go ahead and schedule a time to talk with me. You can do that in the link right there in the show notes.

I'm so excited to be your coach and to lean into the truth with you that you know exactly who you are. And each day you're stepping further into what you're here to create. Now, let's go make some waves.

Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity First strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.

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Ep #74: [Time Sensitive] Special Offer

Episode Summary

Jenna shares an exciting limited-time offer that can help you and your business uplevel and excel in the new year.

Join us in the Clarity Accelerator by scheduling a call here.

Enjoy the show? Leave a review to help other like-minded entrepreneurs gain clarity in their businesses.

Interested in one of the three incredible bonus sessions mentioned in this episode? Sign up for VIP private coaching or the Clarity Accelerator before December 15th, 2023, to get them! All you have to do is click here to book a call with me to get started.

Show Notes

Are you ready to uplevel your business in the new year? I know I am. That's why I’m using today’s episode to share my new, limited-time offer for women entrepreneurs. Starting next year, I’ll be coaching three different types of VIP sessions that’ll set you up for massive success in 2024.

Each session is individualized and special in its own way. You get to choose from Reinvention, The Quantum Leap, and SEO Magic. Tune in to hear more details, bonus offers, and important dates to keep in mind.

While you listen today, I ask you one thing—don’t overthink your choice. Lean into which session your intuition is drawn to and go for it! I can’t wait to meet with you in the new year.

What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

• Details and sign-up information for my new, limited-time offer of VIP coaching sessions.

• What you can expect from the Reinvention, The Quantum Leap, and SEO Magic sessions.

• How this offer will help you uplevel yourself and your business in the new year.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

• If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.

• Click here to sign up for my newsletter and find out how the Connect The Dots Method has helped clients in all stages of their business.

• Follow me on Instagram for behind-the-scenes content and daily value bombs!

• What’s been the most helpful episode? Comment on our Podcast Thread or DM me on Instagram.

• The Uncommon Way Black Black Friday Offer Offer available through December 15th.

• Click here to learn more about the Clarity Accelerator.

Full Episode Transcript:

Hey, we have got some new and very exciting things going down here at The Uncommon Way that I can't wait to tell you about. For the first time, and for a very limited time, we're offering a two-and-a-half-hour VIP session with me. There are actually three of the sessions that you'll get to choose from to set yourself up for massive success in 2024.

The value these will provide is almost incalculable, so they've truly are the gifts that will keep on giving. Grab your pen and paper, because there's going to be a lot of information in this episode.

You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top-ranked business coach and reformed over-analyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.

Hello, hello, my friend. Welcome back. I am really buzzing with excitement, because I'm doing something I've never done before. Adventure really is the spice of life. It definitely adds a spring in my step, especially this time of year when it's cold and gray. This just feels like that dash of cinnamon with a hint of chili powder and my cocoa.

Today, I'm going to tell you about a special year-end promotion we're doing here at The Uncommon Way to help women entrepreneurs who run service businesses get exactly what they need to uplevel and create new success in 2024. Which is a big deal because I never do promotions like this.

Now, the people on my list got early notification of this promotion on Black Friday. By the way, if you're not on my email list, and you've been finding these episodes at all helpful, you definitely want to sign up. Because I put out totally different content there, little tidbits to really shake up your thoughts and help you create actual change for yourself.

It's super easy to sign up. You just go to my homepage, TheUncommonWay.com, and choose any of the gifts listed on that page; there are three of them. Then you'll start receiving my updates.

The reason I'm doing this promotion is an interesting story. I am currently working with a podcast consultant who asked me about my email open rates. I rarely check the open rates. So, I pulled them up right then and there on the call and saw that they are consistently 63 to 74%, even when I send to my entire list and not just my most active readers.

Those numbers are completely out of this world. Both of us were floored right there on the call. It just makes me realize how interested people are in what we're doing here at The Uncommon Way, which of course, is very uncommon. It's not the way other people are teaching business, coaching business, being in business.

I was sharing this with my coach and she challenged me to breathe in some fresh energy into my offer by coming up with something that was both super simple for me, but also crazy valuable for my people. And I, as I do, opened the channels. I told the Universe I was listening, and lo and behold, I got an inspired hit. But then I got another, and I got another.

So, now you actually have three bonuses to choose from. There's no way you won't be absolutely in love with two of them, at least. But you're going to choose one and I'm going to give you all of the details. But first, I know my people so well and I just have to say do not let yourself get hung up on which of these to choose.

I attract a lot of women with a habit of overthinking, like I used to have and like I still get back into sometimes, but do not overthink your way into not taking action on this while you can. At the time this episode comes out you will have one week to make your decision.

We close the offer on December 15th, and I will be opening up a few extra slots for calls, to have a meet and greet with you. But again, flip a coin if you have to. Okay? These are limited offers, you all. Limited in that they won't be available forever. And limited in that I'm only opening them for a few people. They are all amazing offers, and you absolutely can't go wrong with any of them.

Okay, my friend, when you decide to join me, in either the Clarity Accelerator or VIP private coaching, on or before December 15th, then you start by February 28th of 2024. Because remember, the point of this is to help you really kick your business into its most elevated place for the year, and we want to do that sooner rather than later.

So, when that happens, you will get an extra two-and-a-half-hour intensive session with me on a specific topic. We will get out our tea or coffee, we will settle in on Zoom, and then I am going to teach you something completely game changing that I have only shared with a handful of my private clients. In the second half of the call, we will be applying it to your business so you can hit the ground running. Ready? Yay, so excited!

Okay, the first one is Reinvention. We know what got you here but won't get you there. And if you want your business to grow to the next level, you need to grow to the next level. You need to actually become a different version of yourself.

Now everyone says that, but how the heck do you actually do it? Here's how. First of all, we recognize that all of us are pretty much like fish in the ocean. We look around and we think we have an ocean of infinite possibilities and choices and decisions. But the truth is, we're actually in a fishbowl in the ocean. And that fishbowl is our mind.

We actually are pretty limited in our ways of thinking, and without knowing it, these ways of thinking will keep us from ever even considering possibilities or taking actions that we have open to us. So, we have to get very clear on that fishbowl.

We have to get very clear on the confines of your current mindset, and then we have to burn it all to the ground. Then, strategically recreate yourself, intentionally this time, rather than absorbing so many of the things that don't serve you.

Now, I'm not talking about saying, “I need to be more visible, so I'm choosing to work through my visibility issues.” That is the kind of stuff you'll get as part of a Clarity Accelerator program; it's totally accessible to everyone. But what I'm talking about is next level. It's about unearthing the patterns, that you don't even realize are there, that are holding you back.

In fact, you can't imagine why you would want to change those things about yourself, until we start digging around a bit and we see how clever your brain is, and how that trait has helped you in some ways but is really limiting you in others.

This is the exact method that has helped my private clients give everyone around them whiplash from doing a double take, like, “Who are you? What happened?” It's like those before-and-after’s, when you change hair and makeup and clothes and the person looks completely different. Except we're talking about the internal stuff, which often does start showing up on the outside too.

What we're really concerned about is who are you on the inside. There are so many examples of this in my podcast interviews with private clients and in testimonials on my site. But we're talking people who have completely lost the weight, changed cities, moved to the downtown loft, and gone from meek, little, undervalued employee to six-figure earner in a year.

We're talking scattered freelancers, at about multiple six figures, who have been able to really step into their power, consolidate their offer, build out an agency, and move into seven figures of revenue.

We're talking about people who have been self-sabotaging keeping their business small by being in the weeds doing all the small things, and believing that that is their zone of genius, to completely flipping the script and becoming these high-level, strategic thinkers that are making very thoughtful, intentional decisions to set the wheels in motion for national expansion.

We're talking people that have hidden behind a computer screen forever, selling products and not showing any of themselves to the world, but had a deep longing to show up and share information that they had inside, who have now launched a completely new business showing up as the expert, and owning and claiming their expertise with such clear, concise copy directed specifically at their ideal clients.

Okay, I'm going to stop now in the interest of time. This seems like fairy dust, but it's really not. It's psychology and brain science, and it is so fun.

All right, let's talk about the second bonus, potential offer, that you can take advantage of. The second one is The Quantum Leap. Now, Quantum Leap in your business is a term that's thrown around a lot to describe a burst of massive growth that seemingly doesn't make sense. But there's actually a very left-brain method for charting exactly what was going on beforehand.

You can use that strategy yourself to reverse engineer what is required for your own Quantum Leap, and therefore really accelerate the timeline in making that happen.

Now, this is what I love to do. I love to combine, basically, the left brain and the right brain, which is kind of a way of thinking more than actual science now. But I love to help women marry the tactics and the science with the energetic.

This was actually the theme of our Clarity Collective retreat in October, and the ladies were blown away. It became such a before-and-after moment for each and every one of them. And, they said they'll just never see their lives or businesses in the same way again. They feel so much power and control, and they have such a great bird's-eye view of exactly where they're going, and knowing exactly what they're doing.

So, you can check out the episode, we'll link to it in the show notes, where my clients and I were discussing this in real time at the retreat, if you want to hear more.

In this session, you and I are going to get clear on what's next for you and exactly how you're going to radically shorten that timeline to create it, so that when your business does experience this Quantum Leap, everyone around you will say, “How did you make that happen? That was like magic.” But you will know exactly how you created it, and you'll be ready to do it again, and again, and again.

Third potential bonus offer is, my friends, SEO Magic. Do you want to get found by highly motivated buyers 24/7, while you sleep, without spending a single dollar on ads or wearing yourself out creating reels for Instagram? If so, I will share exactly what I've done to land on the first page of Google with such highly coveted keywords, which has brought me multiple six figures of revenue year after year; and more and more each year.

Now, I first was able to do this with my travel blog and then with my coaching website. So, this works. We'll be talking about the tactical SEO how-tos, which I know is what everyone really wants to know. But we're also going to be talking about the other really important things I did. Which is why just doing the tactical things won't get you where you want to be.

Such as creating highly resonant messaging, both conscious and subconscious messaging, and we'll go over the energetics involved with that too. This is not a Google Ads training. A lot of times, when I talk about Google people just assume that I'm running ads. I am not.

We're talking pure, organic search that costs you nothing, and that you put up once and then you forget it. You don't need a fancy team to do it.

All right, you all, I know, I know, these are all great, right? Again, don't get into overthinking. Just feel into your body. There's a stronger energetic charge towards one of these, and that's what you should go for. I know that they have someone's name written all over them. I know each will be perfect for someone.

But I also feel like these offers have been dying to get out more in the world. That they're knocking on me, being like, “Jenna, why have you only been sharing this with a couple of people here in there? Why are you keeping it all bottled up? We were given to you so that you could get us out there. So, give us more exposure. Talk about us, dammit!” I'm like, okay, yes, you're right. I'm on it, boss.

I recognize that some of you have not been with us that long and don't actually know what the Clarity Accelerator is about and what my private coaching is about, so you'd love to hear more. Don't worry, I've got you. I am releasing a special episode on Monday that will tell you everything you need to know. But I wanted to get this information out, about the bonuses, ASAP.

Many of you are already like, “Great, how do I sign up? What's the next step?” The next step is to book a call with me using the link in the show notes. If you don't know the details of my offers but you're in love with one of these bonuses, and maybe, based on my website or this podcast, you're pretty sure you want to work with me, or with us in the collective I should say, then I recommend you too at least book into my calendar and reserve one of those spots.

Because once this offer is gone, on December 15th, it's gone. Of course, the Clarity Accelerator will still be here. But if you're going to join anyway, now's the time to get that deposit in. Then we'll all be able to go off into the holidays excited about what we're going to create together in 2024.

I'm so excited to be your coach, and I just want to remind you that there's a part of you who knows exactly who you are. And each day you are stepping further into what you're here to create. I'll talk to you soon.

Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity First strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.

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Ep #73: My Uncommon Story: Tales of a City Girl, the Light and the Dark

Episode Summary

Jenna shares her experience of living in New York City and the amazing and difficult times she endured.

Join us in the Clarity Accelerator by scheduling a call here.

Enjoy the show? Leave a review to help other like-minded entrepreneurs gain clarity in their businesses.

If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.

Show Notes

In this episode, we continue the My Uncommon Story series to give you more context on how I developed my current perspective toward life and entrepreneurship. But first, a trigger warning for listeners: this episode includes content surrounding 9/11 and suicide.

For this part of the series, I will share my experience of living in New York City during my 20s. I was deeply involved in the art and design scene, had a boyfriend, and owned an apartment! Even though my life looked amazing on the outside, I wasn’t fulfilled on the inside. There was drama within my relationships, and I witnessed some pretty scary incidents, like the planes hitting the Twin Towers.

Too often in today’s world we only see the happy “after” of peoples’ story. But speaking about our pain and darkness not only helps normalize the full spectrum of human emotion, it also usually provides some of the most profound lessons that change our lives.

The weeks following 9/11 were heavy and made me question my purpose. Ultimately I was forced to redevelop my trust in the universe, trust my intuition and remain open to life’s gifts … but it took time.

If you are in a low period of your life, I truly hope this episode brings you some sense of comfort and helps you feel less alone. I also hope you feel empowered to seek support.

What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

• What the New York City art and design scene was like in the early 2000s.

• How to have the courage to trust in your dreams and allow the universe to support you.

• My experience living in New York City during and after 9/11.

• How traumatic experiences can impact your nervous system and force you to decide what really matters.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

• If you'd like to talk about working together, book a call here.

• Click here to sign up for my newsletter and find out how the Connect The Dots Method has helped clients in all stages of their business.

• Follow me on Instagram for behind-the-scenes content and daily value bombs!

• What’s been the most helpful episode? Comment on our Podcast Thread or DM me on Instagram.

• Click here to learn more about the Clarity Accelerator.

• The Uncommon Way Black Friday Offer available through December 15th.

Full Episode Transcript:

Hey, this is a new series where I'm giving you the context behind what I share in this podcast, i.e., what went on in my life to get me here. Think of this as part entrepreneurial mindset building told through stories, part historical nonfiction, and part audacious, salacious, beach read. I hope you enjoy.

You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top-ranked business coach and reformed over-analyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.

Hello, and welcome back to The Uncommon Way, and specifically, these episodes of My Uncommon Story. Where I'm sharing all of the backstory behind the philosophies and values, and even the tactics I talk about in our normal episodes, for those of you who are interested.

So, we're now at the point in this series, where we'll be talking about my 20s, the latter half of my 20s when I lived in New York City. This is the episode where you are going to get a sneak peek into the New York art scene and New York in the early 2000s, which is right when the original Sex and the City was airing, by the way.

You're going to hear what 9/11 was like on the ground, and you're going to find out the thing that helped me decide I would never stop searching for my purpose, and really ended my inner debate on that subject once and for all.

Now, I do want to give a trigger warning here. There are some parts of the story about 9/11that could be traumatic either for those of you who are there, or who have been in some sort of warlike situation. And so, obviously skip that section if it is going to be too much for you.

There's specifically one point that is a bit graphic, and I will tell you when that is coming up so you can just hit that fast forward by 15 seconds button, and then you'll just skip over that. But I am going to say it just because it's part of my story. There's also going to be really fun parts of this episode, as well, it's not all dark.

So, when we left off, I had just left Spain and I was living at home with my parents. I got a job at a civil engineering firm, that I had worked at in high school, while I was trying to kind of get my thoughts together about my next steps. I spent about six months there, in the Seattle area, where grunge was now in full swing.

Remember, “Smells Like Teen Spirit” came out when I was in college. So, when I was in high school, there was already that movement and that energy in Seattle, but now it was fully commercial and playing on every radio station. I was very much in the heart of it.

But even though that sounds fun and interesting, I was miserable. I don't think I have ever cried so much. Now, in hindsight, I know about this thing called “seasonal affective disorder,” which I did not know about then. And of course, I had just moved from beautiful, sunny Spain, to a very drizzly, dreary Seattle in December. I guess it would have been January.

I'd really left my love, I'd left that lifestyle, and I'd left all the things, so it makes sense. But at one point, my mom finally said to me, “You know what? Why don't you go visit your college roommate in New York? You need to get out of here.” And so, I did.

It was springtime, and by the end of that week I knew I was moving to New York City. Of course, it was absolutely beautiful then in the city. It was very, very warm. I also noticed, that even when we were sitting in a cafe, if I just let my ear pick up on conversations happening at tables around me, they were so interesting. They were so intellectual and high level. This was just the air that you breathe in New York City.

I, as you know if you've listened to the earlier episodes, I had grown up longing for this, and feeling like I wasn't allowed to be smart, and wasn't allowed to be intellectual. Then of course, I found it at college, I found my people. But I lost it again in Spain. And so, it just felt so good coming back to that.

I came home, told my parents I was moving, and I was going to save up for … I don't remember if it was three months, maybe. I set a plan. It was like, “I'm going to save for three months, and that's going to be enough to afford the plane ticket back there and maybe a month of expenses.” So, I had no money and no job.

You know what? It wasn't three months, now that I think about it. It was one month, because as I'm thinking about this now, I'm like well, why didn't I start looking for a job? It was because I think I only gave myself one month of expenses. I think that's what it was.

And so, yeah, I moved there with no money, no job. My roommate was just beautiful and generous enough to allow me to crash on her couch for one month. That was the plan. And so, that was really my timeline.

Now, shortly before leaving, as fate would have it, some of my friends from high school had invited me to a get-together that was happening at a music venue downtown. While I was there, I met this man named Dave. Now, Dave had grown up in the same town that I had. But he went to a different school. He lived in a different part of the town, so we'd never met. Even though our friends all seemed to know each other. Which was interesting.

He also worked for a civil engineer, and he was moving to New York City to be an artist. He was super-hot. We dated for about a month. He was very into music because, of course, he had been living there the whole time, and as a young adult had been able to move around more in the city. So, I really got into the music scene there and just had some really fun, interesting experiences during that time.

Then, it was time for me to leave. So, we said we would stay in touch, of course. While I was in New York City, when I first arrived, I was just radiant. You know how when you go from a really dark period in your life, and then all of a sudden, you just feel like you're on top of the world? When I say radiant, I mean that I was just like a shining light.

I was just attracting so many things to me, so many potential job opportunities, and connections with different people. I was like, “Let's go into this club,” I’d walk right into the front of the line and go inside, because why not, right? I was just so glowing and just so happy that people, especially in New York, would do a double take and then stop and end up talking to me. I was magnetic.

Even though there were some definite struggles during that time; I was job hunting everywhere, wasn't finding a job, and I couldn't get an apartment without a job. There were interviews, third round interviews, even for roommates. I wasn't even trying to actually rent the apartment; I just wanted a room in the apartment. The rental scene was so tight back then that they could be really choosy.

And so, the fact that I didn't have a job, of course, no one would rent to me directly. Again, because no job. Also, a big one was no rental history. Because I had lived in Spain, then college, and my parents before that, I didn't have a rental history. So, there were no landlords in New York that were going to rent to me.

I started looking at all sorts of random setups. Like, there was this building of kids really, on the Lower East Side, that were all living together in this kind of abandoned building, and they were all sharing bathrooms. I was considering that place. It was affordable.

Then there was another place, I remember, that I saw, right by Gramercy Park. The person brought me in, and I ended up becoming friends with him. He was a bartender, and I ended up working right near there so I would always stop in for a glass of wine. But he was like, “There's your bed,” and he pointed to the sofa. It turns out it was a futon, that I actually ended up taking into my apartment later on. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Anyway, he had this futon that could convert into a bed. And then he had put up a hospital curtain, where there was a track along the ceiling, and I was supposed to just pull this curtain over. It was literally the size of the bed. That would have been all the room I would have had in this dude's living room. It was, in today's money, over $1,000.

Yeah, it was just really crazy. But even so, deep down I just knew it would work, but I didn't know how. Right in the very last few days of that month, I found an apartment and a job within just a day of each other. And, they were within a couple of blocks from each other. So, this is really ideal.

The job was using my Spanish to help sell very high-ticket industrial items, like burners and boilers to a market in Central America. So, we were the intermediaries between these large U.S. manufacturers and the Central American market. We would take a cut off of that trade. We're talking about $200,000 pieces of machinery. That's how we would make money.

The office was right on Union Square. My office literally was right on Union Square, and it overlooked the Greenmarket, the farmers market that would come in. I've told this story in other places, but that is where I say, later on of course, I felt like the fluorescent lights were just sucking the life out of me.

Every day I would look down on this beautiful market as the colors changed throughout the seasons, with the different flowers and produce they were bringing in. I would see people walking around there at 10:30 in the morning, just strolling around at 10:30 in the morning, and I thought, “Who are these people? Who are these people that aren't working a nine-to-five, and how can I be one of them?”

So, the apartment, on the other hand, was right on Gramercy Park. The fashion designer Thierry Mugler… I don't know how you say that… he lived in the same building. The fun thing about living on Gramercy Park is if you're in one of the buildings right there, you get a key for access to this private park. Now, private parks used to be all over New York City, they're not anymore, so this was really, really special, and exciting.

The place that I was living in wasn't a whole lot better than Anthony's place, but it was a little better. This woman basically had a bay window, and then there was kind of a shade or shutter that she would pull across.

It was deep enough that it allowed room for a single bed, a little desk, a tiny, little closet, and there was a window. At least it felt like privacy, but there was no actual wall or door or anything like that. I would just move these shutters back and forth to get in and out. But hey, it was a roof over my head.

She was an older woman who lived by herself, and she was really nice and fun. In fact, she's the one that said to me, called to me one night, and she's like, “Hey, Jen, have you seen this show? I think you'd really like it.” It was Sex and the City, which was in maybe its second season. I think it was in its second season when I was there in New York.

Now, shortly thereafter, Dave moved. Again, I'm using a different name. But Dave moved to New York City, as well. And so, that was really fun because he opened up a whole new world to me, the art scene in New York and the design scene. We were going to all sorts of gallery openings. I was doing fun things with him.

I knew I wasn't going to live in this place on Gramercy Park forever, so I was still continuing to do my apartment hunting. One of the important things was that I had brought my dog back from Spain. And so, she was currently living with my parents, and I wanted to bring her out to live with me.

Now, in the end, I never ended up doing that because I kind of grew up and realized that she would have been inside while I was working all day. She was much better off living with my parents. But I hadn't quite been able to separate from her emotionally yet, so I assumed, of course, I was bringing her to live with me.

It was really, really hard to find apartments that would allow dogs and all the things, so I decided I wasn't going to take no for an answer. I decided to buy my own place. Now, that was not common back then. People have gotten braver and bolder, and they would be willing to do things like that at a younger age, I believe. But back then it probably wasn't common.

But I realized it would actually be cheaper, my monthly payment would be smaller, if I could buy rather than rent. It was a time of very, very easy credit. This is before the housing collapse, of course. And I'd be able to have my dog. Now, what it did require, and I don't remember how I found this out, it must have just been the mortgage broker or something who told me, but it required a large amount of credit card maneuvering.

It turns out that at that time, the amount of debt that you carried was far less important than your monthly payment. So, even if you are carrying a large amount of debt, they still assumed you could make your monthly payments, if that was within the tolerance window when they were doing their calculations.

I also needed to save up to have enough for a downpayment. So, I was constantly… Do you know that scene in Reality Bites? I don't know if you remember it. Where she needs cash, and so she's using her dad's credit card to pay for gas and then taking people's cash instead. That's exactly the kind of thing that was going on.

Anywhere that I could get someone to give me cash, I was putting it on my credit card. I was building up huge debt on my credit card, doing all the things I could in my personal life to put everything on the card. And over time, over a couple months or so, I was able to start building up this nest egg. Which is so difficult.

No 25-year-old in New York really… Unless they are making huge money as a stockbroker. New York's just so expensive. No one has a nest egg; we all live hand to mouth.

But I was determined. Actually, finding the place was hard. There was a lot of demand. I remember my boss knew about what was going on, and so… Was I online? Yeah, we must have had the internet. I must have been online, or some paper had just come out or something, and I remember saying, “Oh, there's an open house today,” at this place.

Thankfully he was like, “Leave, go there.” Because you had to be the first in line and then just basically say, “I'll take it.” So, sure enough, I was out there. I was the first one. I was hours before the open house. I waited, and more people came, but I was the first one there. And then, when the realtor finally came and we all walked up, I said I was the first one here.

We walked up five flights of stairs, because this was a fifth-floor walkup in the East Village. Actually, in Alphabet City, which is fully gentrified now, but was not then. Anyway, we walked up to the top, he opened the door, it was just this tiny little box of a studio, but it had amazing light. I just said, “I'll take it. I'll take it.” Then we went into contract.

I hustled even harder to make sure that I'd be able to make all the deadlines, and have the downpayment that I needed to. One of the things I was doing was, Dave ended up helping me out with this, I ended up moving in with him for a couple of months to save money on rent.

Here's what was going on with Dave at the time. He wanted to move into a neighborhood where he'd be really surrounded by other artists and be very much in that scene. But he needed a place that was also affordable. And so, he found this little unknown area of Brooklyn called Williamsburg.

I'm laughing, because of those of you in the city know that Williamsburg is very well-known now. But it wasn't then. It was this community of mainly Polish immigrants, lots of pierogi shops, and it was very kind of ugly and dark. Just a bunch of brick buildings, no decoration, no shops on the street, really nothing like that. It had just started to gentrify, so there were just a few artists that had bought up lofts and were living in the area.

There was one bar, and you knew it because it had a red light outside. That was it, it was like a speakeasy. There was no sign up or anything. I remember when Dave took me there the first time, it was just like, oh my gosh. You open the door, and they had these heavy curtains so you could start hearing this muffled music, but you couldn't really see it. That's where they, of course, carded you.

Then, you pushed open these black, heavy, velvet curtains, you're walking over this black metal walkway, and underneath it they had water filled with black ink. And so, you're just surrounded by this blackness, but it's glistening because of the lights. They had a live band area at the other end. It was this huge industrial space. You had to walk over this kind of little maze thing to get to the bar area.

It was like, who would think that this would be buried here in the middle of nowhere? But it was so fun that he chose an apartment there. And then I got to be like one of the first inhabitants, in terms of the gentrified young, urban kids, artists, people that were moving into that area. Of course, I'm sure that the Polish working-class people did not think it was such a fun turn of events.

I moved into my Manhattan apartment right before my 25th birthday, because I wanted to be able to say that I had pulled this off when I was 25. I was very adamant about how the closing date had to be before my birthday. There were hiccups, of course, as there always are with buying property, but I managed to pull it off.

Really, no one could believe that I had done this, that I had moved to New York with no money, no job, and less than a year later I owned my own place. Even though that burner and boiler job was not the thing that I had always aspired to be part of, it paid well. I am just so grateful to have had that. To really land in New York City and set myself up for success.

So, there were a lot of fun things in that period. Of course, being in New York. I remember that first month, when I had been trying to find the job, I'd look at people on the subway just going about their daily lives, and I thought, “Oh my gosh, if I could just be one of them. If I could just be a New Yorker, I would be so happy. I would have made it. If I can make it in this city, I can make it anywhere.” And now, I was.

That felt like a huge rush, just to be an adult, really. To be a city girl. To be knowing my way around, and to really be getting deeper and deeper into this New York art and design scene. It was something I hadn't experienced before, or known about before.

This was a time where we were looking at Cindy Sherman's art on the wall, and Damien Hirst was, of course, having these exhibits where he was presenting cows in very weird ways. Dave was very into the Fluxus movement, which was all about decaying organic matter. So, we were looking at lots of melted chocolate.

He actually was doing these really cool things with coffee that then would grow mold on it, which was this beautiful silvery color. You get the earth tones and the silvers. I still have one of his pieces, that I love.

It felt like a hidden world. You would go to this strange, seemingly deserted building in Chelsea, take a freight elevator up to a certain floor, get past the bouncer of course, and just be in this brightly lit room full of all sorts of people you'd never expect to be there, with tons of free stuff to eat and drink.

There was also the dating thing. Because even though we were seeing each other, our relationship kept becoming open. We'd have an open relationship, then we'd close it off and be monogamous, and then go back into an open relationship; on and off, on and off. Basically, it usually corresponded to every time I'd get upset with him.

When I'd get upset and I’d decide that he just wasn't putting enough of his side into the relationship, where I wasn't being treated well enough, or something. But I'd be like, “That's it. I want to see other people. We need to have an open relationship.”

So, I dated an aide to the mayor of DC, a man from a winery in California, a preppy guy from Chappaqua, where the Clintons now live. They were just fun people. There were parties in the Hamptons, dinner out, and season tickets to the opera. Really living the highlife, and knowing little speakeasies, like I talked about.

There was a place in Williamsburg called Cokie’s; you can imagine maybe what's coming. It was, on the front end, a music venue for Cuban jazz. It attracted a lot of working-class Latinos and Latinas. But if you went beyond that, back into the back room, there was a little photo booth thing, you would sit in it, and you would buy cocaine. Then you'd go back out, and you'd be able to do your lines right there.

It was the strangest group of people. Because, like I said, you have this working-class population, you have the artists from Williamsburg, and then you have the stockbrokers that find out about this place and come over from Manhattan. It was a very interesting time to be alive.

It felt like I owned this city. I was deeply in love with New York, and felt like I had found home. But there was a big problem. Well, of course, one of the problems is that all the money flew right out of my hands, as it does with most people living in New York. But the other bigger problem, was not knowing what I wanted to do with my life.

But before I get into that, there's one other interesting story from this time. It's kind of sad in hindsight, but luckily it didn't affect me in that way. I was walking home from work one day, and this man came chasing me down. He said that he'd been a block back, he was huffing and puffing, and he came running after me.

He said that he was an Oscar winning writer and director, and that he wanted me to be in his next movie. Now, I think at the time, there was some reason where I was like, “Yeah, I have to go somewhere.” As I'm thinking, walking home from work, the only place I would have been going was to a nail appointment. I had get my nails done.

Obviously, I didn't really believe him. But he gave me his card, and he said, “Please, let's meet. I really want to talk to you about this opportunity.” And so, I thought about it and thought about it. I figured, what the heck, I can go somewhere public. I'll be safe.

And so, we agreed to meet up at the Royalton. I'd looked him up by then, and seen pictures. Okay, we must have been using the internet more because I was able to look him up. Absolutely, he was who he said he was. So, we met at the Royalton, and he told me about the movie.

It was going to star Leonardo DiCaprio. He was going to be in college. There was going to be kind of a professor romantic interest for him, and also a cheerleader. And he wanted me to be the cheerleader, which no one had ever mistaken me for a cheerleader type before. I was definitely the studious professor type. So, right away that felt off.

But what went on there, in that bar that night, was this almost intellectual battle of wits. Where he wanted me to come up to his hotel room, and I did not want to go up to his hotel room. And so, we argued about it for hours, but in this like…

I can't tell you how brilliant he was, how smart, and how he was able to kind of keep this conversation flowing. How he was able to bring in actors, taking risks, needing to see this side of me, and how we could even keep the door open.

All the time, I'm resisting this. He's wanting to bring me up there, and he starts getting very graphic, even about being honest about what he would want to do with me when we're up there. I finally looked at him and I said, “You know what? I'm just not hungry enough. I'm not hungry enough to go through this.”

When I look back, I always thought I didn't want to be famous. I wanted to be well known and well respected in my field, whatever I was going to end up doing, but I had no interest in fame. You still wonder, though. Would you really, if you were presented with that opportunity?

But then and there, I was like, no, no, not really, not this much. So, that was the end of that story. Of course, it was long before any of the Me Too movement or Harvey Weinstein. I just find it such an interesting precursor for what we know now happens later in history.

Of course, whenever I'd watch his movies after that, I'd always look at all the bit parts of female actors, let alone the leads, and think, “What did they have to do to get there?” Who knows? Maybe that was just his pickup line with strangers. Maybe he didn't actually do that with the actors. We don't know.

But back to what I was saying about how even though my life looked so great on paper, I was really down. There was the relationship drama that was always going on with Dave, or whomever. There was also, I haven't mentioned Paco, my Spanish boyfriend.

We had stayed in touch, but he could really see the writing on the wall with how much I loved New York. He was the one that then ended that, at that point.

There was work drama. Of course, this feeling of having my soul sucked out of me. There was ‘what to do with my life’ drama. There was ‘this isn't how I thought my life would go’ drama. I had complete delusions of grandeur.

I have stories from when I was in first year of high school and writing about our future, where I talked about how I was just going to be the president of some huge company in my 20s and I was going to buy my own island; not saying it's not possible.

But this is because I had really been so different, compared to everyone in my high school. I'd gone after these big dreams, gotten into this fancy school, and I hadn't quite had an opportunity yet to sink into the fact that that might not happen for me.

Maybe I was just a big fish in a small pond, and now I'm just a fish. And yet, here I am in this job where, yes, I was getting paid well and I got to travel throughout Central America, but really, I was a glorified administrative assistant working on contracts. Just an intermediary between different companies processing paperwork, really. Who had no idea what she wanted to do with her life.

Plus, the hormones. Oh my gosh, can we talk about the hormones of the 20s? With, again, no information really. So, just tons of stress, rushing around, poor eating, no sleep, and my hormones were just pinging everywhere.

Around that time, Swarthmore offered a book club for alumni in the area. I joined that. A Swarthmore professor had created the syllabus, and on the syllabus was a couple of Virginia Woolf books, A Room of One's Own, and Mrs. Dalloway. Then, as a follow on to those, The Hours by Michael Cunningham.

I don't know if you've read these, and I don't want to give any spoilers away, but we know that Virginia Woolf, in her own life, was thinking about suicide. And, that comes up in these books. The books are about, especially Mrs. Dalloway, is about a woman who goes about the day with everything seemingly wonderful, and what a nice life she has, but for the darkness inside, the deep depression, and pain.

Reading that really amplified my own experience in the worst way. When I was in Spain, and I went through a period of depression. I blamed a lot of it on Spain and on the life that I had there, my inability to really work and to stand out. But here in New York, I had endless opportunity.

I saw that the problem was me. I had no kind of growth mentality whatsoever. Remember, I'd grown up with either you're smart, or you're not smart. You're good at this, or you're not good at this. So, I read that as failure. I had failed at 26 years old. Well, I must not be going anywhere in life.

This was my first bout of really contemplating suicide. I didn't move forward with it, obviously. I'd decided I just couldn't do that to the people I'd leave behind, my mom specifically. But it was a very, very dark period. I had a lot of people, as I would try to open up out this or talk about this, say things to me like, “But you should be so grateful. I mean, look around you, you have such a great life.”

And so, I have such a tender place in my heart for anybody that is a seeker. That really knows something is not aligned in their life, and they're trying to solve what that piece is. I just kept futzing along, kept trying to move forward, day after day. And then of course, escape through drugs or something on the weekends.

This was all, really within just that first year in New York. But it occurred to me that maybe I would be a designer. So, of course, I'm moving in the design scene. I had been in Spain with a lot of jewelry designers, and I had watched them work and admired the craftsmanship.

I decided to pursue a degree in Jewelry Design at the Fashion Institute of Technology. So, I was going to work by day, and of course, getting my degree by night. Computer automated design, CAD work in the jewelry industry had just started. And 3D printers were just being used, just being invented, really, and then just being used for the jewelry industry.

And so, I was lucky enough to move into that side of design, which since so few people were doing it, it was a very marketable skill. I ended up dropping out of FIT just to study with the professor specifically, who had a foothold in this. From there, from the Fashion Institute of Technology, I also lucked into a job in the jewelry industry.

Now, I wasn't designing. I wasn't working on jewelry, but I was doing marketing for them. And so, I learned a lot about websites and promotion and coming up with creative ways to bring in more revenue and more business.

Plus, I had started my own company, where I would do CAD designs for New York City jewelers. Basically, the reason it was so revolutionary is because in the old days, if you had a ring design and you needed to make all the different sizes of rings for your clientele, you would have to hand make little wax molds in all of these different sizes. And, you'd need to pay a person to do that.

But once you had the design in the computer, the software could scale it out for you. And so, it really was a game changer. There were some other problems that would come out on the other side, but I mean, it was groundbreaking.

So, I realized that this was marketable, and I dreamed of just being able to work from anywhere. Doing this work from Morocco. Again, this is a totally different time. You might be nodding your head, being like, “Yeah, that sounds reasonable post-COVID,” right? But this was not anything that people did.

This was, maybe… I don't know, I have this freak genius channel in Human Design, where I just kind of know things. Or it could have just been that I happen to have a knack for seeing the writing on the wall. But I moved through life asking, why not? Why can't I do that thing?

It's, of course, the question that used to drive my dad crazy. But it served me well at this period. And so, I then reentered a period where life really seemed amazing. I’d decided, maybe life was about just having fun and living each day to the fullest. Maybe we don't need purpose. If I'm bringing beauty to the world, isn't that enough? Beauty, for beauty’s sake?

I felt like I had direction and a plan. I loved my city. I had made some great friends. My boyfriend was having more and more success, and that was exciting. He was becoming more and more, I don't know, committed, I guess. More engaged as a boyfriend. And, I was living the life.

I remember during that time, feeling deeply held. Having come through that dark period, and once again, just feeling deeply held. Like I had a very close relationship with Spirit. I delighted in whatever the Universe was bringing me. Whatever interesting person I would meet that day in the little local grocery stores.

I remember, where I lived in the East Village and where I had moved into my new jewelry job, my apartment was on 11th and Avenue A, between A and B. The jewelry job was on the corner of Broadway and Houston. For those of you that know the Angelika theater, we were right on top. They had these beautiful halfmoon windows, that was the floor where we were.

So, it was pretty much a direct diagonal line to get from one place to the other. Meaning, there are endless variations for how I could move on the grid; left and right, left and right, left and right; to then eventually get to my work.

And so, each day I would go to work following the stoplights. I believed they were signs from the Universe. If the stoplight was red here, I was meant to turn left. I would walk until I hit another stoplight, and that's when I was meant to turn right. Stick with me here, this is all leading up to something.

I remember it was Fashion Week, and I felt like I had really hit my stride. It's an early fall, and it's just this period of extreme endorphins. Where the heat of the city breaks, and there's Christmas in the air. People have returned to the city from being away for the summer, or on holiday for the summer.

It was Fashion Week, and so all the different boutiques and different designers were having parties. We, of course, had found all the best ones. That was our dinner every night. It was just eating up all their hors d'oeuvres and wine.

We’d start out with champagne at this party and a little apéritif or a little appetizer. Then we'd go on to the other party, and that's where we would have our wine and a main course. And, we'd repeat it the next day. It was a series of different gallery openings and boutiques celebrating Fashion Week.

I remember getting up one morning and just feeling so happy. It was the most beautiful day that you can ever imagine. There were just no clouds. I grabbed a slight little cardigan sweater, and I was so happy and in love with life. I was walking by a little corner grocery store, and someone was calling out, “Did you hear that a plane hit the World Trade Center?”

It just seemed crazy. I continued to walk, and as I walked, I heard little voices here and there and different people talking. At first, I thought it was just a joke, of course. Then, more and more people were kind of buzzing about this on the street.

I got to my work and everyone was saying, “Did you hear that a tourist plane hit the World Trade Center?” I remember saying that to the doorman/handyman of the building, and he was saying, “Yeah, I'm going to turn on the radio.” I went upstairs, walked in where we had, again, these big, big windows, full south facing, and there it was. There was the tower burning, with a fireball in the center of it.

You've seen it on TV. I just had a different point of view. We turned on the radio, and we're trying to figure out what is happening. “How could that have happened? Maybe the pilot had a heart attack or something? And they, of all the things, coincidentally flew into the World Trade Center? This is such a tragedy, what happened?”

All of a sudden, we heard this noise. It was a very loud buzz, and something shot across the skyline, from right to left, and smack straight into that second tower. It was the second plane hitting the second tower. All of a sudden, all of us knew that this was different. That this was actually an attack.

Somehow, I knew right away that there was a possibility we wouldn't have phone access. I was worried that my parents would wake up and worry about me. So, my first thought really, of course in a tragedy, is your loved ones.

I've told this story before, but I called my mom and stepdad first; the family that I'd grown up with. I called them first, the phone rang and my dad answered; 30 years military; and I said, “Dad, I'm okay, but you need to turn on the TV because we're under attack. They've hit the World Trade Center and the Pentagon.”

He said, “Oh, okay, thanks for calling, darlin’. I love you.” That was where I got to see his military training kicking in, and the difference in worldview where he could take that information and assimilate it so quickly. Because it was so early on the West Coast, my dad and stepmom had their phone silenced, so I was able to just leave a message.

Then, within a very short amount of time, there was no way to call out of New York City. And so, we sat there heartbroken, just watching the towers burn and praying that as many lives could be saved as possible. It was actually the second tower that fell first. We saw it buckle. We saw the steel expand and then woosh, the whole thing just collapsed. It happened so quickly.

We were absolutely in shock, and we were just praying so hard. By now, the radio is finally up on what's actually happening and giving out this information. I think anyone who was awake then was just watching the second tower, and praying for it to stand, as a sign of resilience; a New York resilience.

This is the trigger warning, where you just want to jump ahead 15 seconds. But we were seeing bits of what looked like black pieces coming from the building, which I now believe were people jumping. I realized that the second… When we were starting to get news, the second and third days following. It was like nothing I'd ever seen before.

So, they wanted everyone to return to their houses. We just didn't know what was next. We didn't know if planes would come in and start bombing us. We didn't know if New York City was going to be hit even more. The officials were urging everyone to just return to their homes, and stay in their homes.

I remember just walking home in a daze, stopping to get some groceries quickly, and everyone just not talking to each other. It was just silence. We just all walked like the robots. I went up to my house and went up. I had roof access, so I went up on my roof. I remember smoking a cigarette, which I rarely, rarely did, and sitting there with this full view of smoke. Just smoke coming up where the towers used to be.

The next days very much felt like I was in a war zone. The city was cordoned off from 14th Street and below. Remember, I lived on 11th Street, so I was in that area. To maintain this barricade, there were tanks. Ben tells me now they're not actually tanks, there's a word for them, but they had treads.

They were part of the National Guard that were moved in to protect the city from we don't know what. To see armed guards patrolling Avenue A and 1st Avenue, and all the smoke in the air, you all it was so surreal. Everything was happening in slow motion.

Of course, we were glued to the TV. But other than that, I remember being so out of my faculties that I was stepping off a curb and someone literally grabbed me by the back of my shirt and pulled me back just as a bus came by.

I remember I would walk over to visit a friend of mine, who lived in the West Village and was further south. So, there wasn't that same militarized environment there, and it felt like such a good getaway. But in order to get to her house, or if she were coming to mine, what we had to pass through was one of the largest hospitals in that part of town.

At this point, in the first days after, everyone that had had a loved one in the tower hoped that they had been brought to a hospital, and just hadn't been discovered yet or were unconscious. And so, you'd see people wandering around with these huge placards. Huge signs with their loved one’s picture posted on the sign saying, “Have you seen my loved one?”

It's sad to look back on, and it was just very, very tragic. Of course, all the firefighters that were lost, and the first responders. There were crowds gathered in front of every firehouse. We were laying out flowers, we were donating food. And there was the deepest, deepest love for New York City. There was such a pride and such a coming togetherness.

But I remember not everyone felt that way. My boyfriend Dave, for one, he was deciding if this city was this dangerous, maybe he should go move somewhere else. I felt the opposite. I felt that if I died here, I was meant to die here, because this is my place.

In all of those crazy emotions, somehow, I became very angry with Dave. I don't know, I judged him for being scared. I judged him for being not enough of a New Yorker. It's challenging to look back and really weed all of this out, but that is when I emotionally disconnected from him. We didn't actually break up yet, but it was a period of a kind of psychological separation.

And, it was really a period of doubling down on purpose. Because I started asking myself, “When the towers fall, what's really important?” That's what tragedies do. They do show you what matters in your life and what does feel important. I realized that I just couldn't make jewelry for my life. That might be fine for other people, but it wasn't my thing. I was not going to settle for anything less than really finding my thing.

Now, in hindsight, I can realize that I was in a lot of shock, cycling through all of the emotions, and it was traumatic for me. But never in a million years did I even think of getting therapy. It wasn't as common as it is nowadays. I know for a lot of people the trauma of that event was in feeling that we could be hit on our own soil. That we weren't always safe.

But for me, it was a surprise, of course, but it didn't feel surprising. In my travels, I had heard from many people that despised or even hated the United States. The way in which it was really traumatic for me, is a belief that when things are going really, really good, watch out. The worst is about to come.

Again, I had grown up with some death happening around me in the pilot community. And so, I was familiar with the tragic brevity of life and the unexpected, but I had never correlated it in my mind with ‘when things get to their best, the worst is about to come.’

And so, I got a deep unsafety with that exhale. With that feeling of, “Oh, things are good.” Now, that felt very unsafe to me, and it led me to seize up many times thereafter, especially in business. When things got good, my nervous system would freak out.

I would self-sabotage in the way of freezing. Maybe I just would stop working on my business. I would stop taking actions that would move my business forward, I think is the better way of saying it. I rarely would stop working on the business.

Or I would move into fight response by just overworking and staying ridiculously busy, which only pretty much have the same effect because I wasn't really signing as many clients either. And of course, I already had that pattern habit of overwork, too. And so, this just fed into that.

I'd had that pattern from striving to get into the best college, from striving to put money on the table when I was in Spain, from striving to figure out my purpose and get myself to my dream life. And of course, had no tools to manage my brain, or to see what was working for me now, or to lean into any kind of trust.

I really felt like there had been an opening in my world. Like an earthquake had happened and the ground had cracked open, letting in evil. A very dark period was coming forth. Before, everyone was just generally good. After this moment, there was so much evil all around.

I'll go into that more next time, because I did freefall after that. Though, in hindsight, I don't have that same perspective on these events, I do still see it as a big awakening and a loss of innocence. Though, thankfully, not my loss of optimism, because that has returned.

Anyway, instead of getting the help I so desperately needed, some of which I'm only now getting. I mean, I still have a trigger when I hear a certain type of low plane flying with a certain type of sound. I freeze up. But I know that if I had gotten help then right, it might have helped me shave off a decade or a decade and a half of pain. But instead, I just engaged in lots of risky and self-sabotaging behavior, which I will go into next week.

There’s one last thing, which is a kind of a fun anecdote. But as the country was gearing up for war in Afghanistan, and there were, of course, protests going on, I remember walking into work one day, and in the inbox for mail, Time magazine was on the top. It had a picture of Saddam Hussein on it.

Somehow, I just knew in that minute. I picked up the magazine, and I said to my coworkers, “Oh, my God, they're going after Saddam.” Everyone thought I was being ridiculous. They're like, “We are going into Afghanistan. Why are you talking about Iraq?” But I was just cynical enough by then, to really think that when press starts getting planted, I believed, that there was a reason for that. It turned out, there was.

Alright, my friends, part of me wants to leave this on a happier note, but it wasn't a happy time. Instead, what I want to say, is that if you are in a dark period, I feel for you. I hope that you are getting the help that I did not let myself get. Because, friend, deep down, you know who you are. And each day, whether you can see it right now or not, you are moving into the life you're here to create.

Hey, if you want true clarity about your secret sauce, your people, your best way of doing business, and how you talk about your offer, then I invite you to join us in the Clarity Accelerator. I'll teach you to connect all the dots, the dots that have always been there for you, so that you can show up like you were born for exactly this.

Come join us and supercharge every other tool or tactic you'll ever learn, from Facebook ads to manifestation. Just go to TheUncommonWay.com/schedule and set up a time to talk. I can't wait to be your coach.

Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity First strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.

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Ep #72: How to Know if You Should Leave or Reinvest in a Coaching Program

Episode Summary

Jenna discusses the five common reasons people don’t sign on or renew with a coach.

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Show Notes

Signing on or renewing with a coach can be a source of stress for many. Internal conflict or hesitation arises around the common question, “Is it really worth it?” Regardless of your answer, I can promise you that it is.

This episode of “The Uncommon Way'' is for anyone on the fence about continuing with their coach, in the process of renewal, or is continuing and just wants to set themselves up for success. I discuss the five common patterns and discomforts that emerge when people are considering reinvesting in coaching. I share a list of questions that you can ask yourself in order to get clear and be sure you’re making the right decision for your best self.

Whether you decide to move forward with your coach or not, you’ll have a much more substantial plan and understanding of yourself, actions, and direction from this episode. Tune in to learn how you can create purposeful forward movement regardless of your situation.

What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

• The five common patterns people experience when considering coaching.

• The questions to ask yourself if you are considering working with coaching or renewing your current coaching relationship.

• Ways to explore the discomfort triggered by our internal patterns and choices.

• How a coach not only offers tactics and support but also a space for creating an energetic imprint together.

Listen to the Full Episode:

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• Click here to learn more about the Clarity Accelerator.

• The Uncommon Way Black Friday Offer available through December 15th.

• Ep #43: How to Win at the Game of Entrepreneurship

• Ep #68: Uncommon Perspectives: Keeping Your Name

Full Episode Transcript:

So, the time with your coach is drawing to a close. Regardless of whether you think you're going to continue into another round or take a break, or move on to something different. This episode will help you ask yourself the kinds of questions that are going to set you up for success and create a clear plan forward. And if you're a coach whose own clients aren't sure if they'll renew or not, this episode is going to be really helpful for you, too.

You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life by prioritizing your clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top-ranked business coach and reformed over-analyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.

Hi, everyone, and welcome back to The Uncommon Way. I am so looking forward to bringing you this episode today. Because I knew it you can cause a lot of hand wringing for some of you, and for others a huge loss in opportunity. I want to help you feel more calm and decisive when you're thinking about your renewal or your decision not to renew. But also, to make sure you are maximizing your chances of success.

I have had a front row seat over the years to probably thousands of brains, who are going through this decision-making process of what to do after a coaching program ends. Of course, I've been watching my own brain too.

What I've realized, is that A, there are certain ways of thinking that we tend to have when we're not as used to investing in coaching, that tend to change for us over time but not always. And B, this is a tremendous opportunity for increased clarity about your next steps. Because after all, there's nothing like a deadline for bringing forth a decision.

I'm going to break down for you how to get the most out of this time. But speaking of deadlines, we're doing something new here at The Uncommon Way. We have a special offer for Black Friday. Well, sort of. For the end of the year, really.

That is something I don't do usually, Black Friday. I honestly don't remember ever doing it. I don't really love Black Friday as an event, I'm not the person who rushes out to get the TV. I also just don't discount what I do. I don't think there's anything to discount in what I offer.

However, I'm working with a new podcast consultant, and the other day he asked me about my email open rates. I really only look at that every six months or so. So, I opened up my dashboard, and I was floored. Because we consistently have open rates between 63% and 74%. It just hit me full force to see how interested people are in what we're doing here at The Uncommon Way. Even as the list continues to grow, the open rates continue to grow.

So, of course, I hear it every week from people who find me through Google and they sign up for a discovery call. And, of course, I know people are interested in what we're doing here at The Uncommon Way, right? Because I hear it when they sign up for a discovery call with me and they find me through Google.

But this here is really showing me that it's a much broader group that is hungry for these things. Like, hungry for a comprehensive support, not just tactics or just mindset or just energetics or just the nervous system, they want help with all the things. I get it, I am the same way. I got tired of hiring different coaches for all those things, which is why I created what I wish I'd had.

People are really hungry, I'm seeing, for their uniqueness, finding their uncommon way towards a wildly successful business and life. You don't want to force yourself into a carbon copy of someone else's successful strategy. I think maybe a lot of us, especially after COVID, maybe got into entrepreneurship and we immediately rushed to just follow someone else's blueprint. And we're realizing that doesn't really work for us.

We want something that feels right for us. And people are really, really yearning now to belong to a small tight-knit community of extremely driven women who are going to challenge us and inspire us. There's kind of a palpable longing for connection, I think, as social media becomes more prevalent in our lives, as our lives get busier and busier and busier, and we aren't addressing that core human need of ours.

Of course, women are longing have become that version who feels clear and confident, and knows what you're doing and can play big. We are so tired of playing small. So, given that there is all this brewing interest, and I can tell there's interest, I decided to just create something special for these women. To help them get clear about whether or not they want to join.

Because if you're going to join, there is no better time than now. This is going on through December 15, so I'm kind of helping those people with a deadline. I really sat with this, and brought forth the best of the best that I have to offer. I've only shared this stuff with a handful of my private clients. All of it, all the things that I'm offering, they're just total game changers.

So, if you want to check that out, head to TheUncommonWay.com/black-Friday. Again, TheUncommonWay.com/black-Friday.

All right, back to our episode, and oh, it's a juicy one. Again, this is for you if you're on the fence about whether to continue with your coach, or you're thinking you're not going to continue at this time, or you're thinking you are but you just want to set yourself up for success.

It's also great for those of you who are coaches and you want some new ways to think about your client renewals. But I'm not going to be speaking to you directly. I'm really speaking to those of us who are personally considering our next steps.

I'm going to give that group some things to get curious about, think about, and answer for yourself, that will help you create really purposeful forward movement, regardless of whether you continue or you return later, or you go a completely different direction. Because these kinds of questions, these are the big questions that will give you clarity, and let you get better results, no matter what.

Now, I do have some strong points of view that I'll share, as I do. But the truth is, I don't know what the right decision for you is. So, I'm always fine with whatever decision my clients make. And if you are one of them, of course, I would love to support you through whatever is next for you.

But sometimes we need to learn through experience, right? We wouldn't learn the lesson from our coach. Our coach could lay out everything perfectly for us, they could be the most supportive person, they could be the most wonderful, but we need it to be a little bumpy or drawn out or whatever, in order for it to really sink in. And maybe the Universe has other plans for us.

I have been on the phone with people where I would just long to bring them on as a client, I remember, and they've decided to go their own way. It took them a year, year and a half, to finally come back to work with me.

On the one hand, you could think, “Oh, they last a year and a half,” but the truth is, that they really needed that time to kind of… I hate to say suffer a little more… but to really integrate it into their bones why they were going to be making this change in their life.

And then, when they did come back as clients, they were such great clients because they'd had that extra year and a half to kind of percolate. And then, they were so sure and so decided and so ready to just get after it, when they came on.

So, I will always trust that you will find your way, and that you are very held and supported in finding your way. But here's the deal. If you're my client, and I'm going to be speaking to all of you frankly right now, as if you are my clients, up until the day you're not my client, you are paying me to help you think about things you might not have considered.

So, I need to fulfill that obligation and be totally straight up with you, even though you might have thoughts… You might think it's only because it makes business sense for me to do so. Or you might think that it's pure self-interest; you may have judgments about it.

I'm willing to risk that in order to fulfill my obligation of presenting alternate thoughts to you. But that doesn't mean I'm trying to convince you, because it actually doesn't make business sense for me to continue working with someone who's not all in. It's okay for you to have doubts and hesitations leading up to the decision, but once you're in, you're in. So, that's exactly the energy I'm going to be in as I talk with you today.

I'm totally open to the idea that continuing with me, or whomever your coach is, might not be the right choice for you. But I'm still going to give you what I've learned, and I'm going to help you get set up for success by getting clear on what you need to work on next and what your next steps are.

So, I remember once, when I had finally hit my first $10k/month. That happened to fall right when it was time for renewal with my coach. At that time, my coach was working with people for a year at a time. So, this would mean another 12 months of investment. I can't remember if it was like $24,000 or something like that.

And so, I told her I wasn't going to renew. That, really, I had now gotten to the point where I had everything I wanted. I was making $10k months, and that's really the size of the business that I wanted at that point in time; I had a very, very young son.

I remember her taking a pause. We'd had dinner together, because we were at a mastermind retreat in New York City. It was just her and I at the end of the evening. We'd stepped out onto the curb waiting for a taxi, and I remember wanting to be very upfront with her and honest, and tell her why I was deciding not to continue, and how grateful I'd been for all of her support; all the things.

I saw her kind of take a pause, and then she looked at me and she said, “Jen, I'm so excited for you. So proud of you that you've reached this milestone. But I have to let you know, you're not there yet. You have just scratched the surface. Hitting one $10k month does not mean that you're going to be able to sustain that. It just means that this is your first entry point into that next level. I would love to continue to support you, to really cement that in and get that to be your new normal.”

I ended up siding with her. In fact, I decided right there, on the sidewalk, that I was going to continue with her. And as we talked through it, she really breathed a sigh of relief. She was like, “I have to tell you, I felt a little awkward about saying that to you. I didn't know what you’d think.”

But what really changed my mind, was when we were sitting there at dinner, I was asking you about a mastermind sister of mine in the last round, who had decided then not to continue with my coach. My coach didn't speak up and say what she really thought.

I told her that my friend had had some difficulties. Had had a year where she was kind of at loose ends. That really sat with my coach, it really sunk into her. And she felt really bad that she had not spoken up.

The reason we, as coaches, don't speak up to our clients is because we don't want to be perceived in the wrong way. We're human too. But part of the growth is being able to stand in that discomfort for the sake of our clients. Luisa, my coach then, was absolutely right.

It was much more difficult for me to sustain the energy of $10k than it was to have hit it once. I can see how true it is now. And so, I also tell people that they've just scratched the surface. Or I help them see what maybe they're not seen. And the truth is, I'd love to continue supporting my clients because I want them to get where they're going faster, better, and easier than I did, for sure.

So, over the years of observing, like I said, my own thoughts, and observing the thoughts of my colleagues who are telling me about their decisions, and mentors who are talking about their investment decisions, and especially some of my most successful clients… Who, even though they've gotten life-changing results working with me. Things that, frankly, I've never seen in any other coaching program… they're telling me that they're not going to renew, or that they're not sure about renewing.

In these situations, I've seen that the reason usually comes down to one of five things that I've tried to categorize here, that I'm going to share with you and I'm going to kind of talk through with you.

So, one might be, you find yourself thinking, “I'm good. I got this now.” Which, obviously, was my line of thinking in the story I just told you about with my coach. I want to just acknowledge that is possible. You might be good. You might have everything you need. Especially if you've been learning some tactical skill, maybe like, I don't know, learning a new software or something. That might be absolutely true.

But another possibility is that the Dunning-Kruger effect is skewing your perception. So, the Dunning-Kruger effect is a very well-researched cognitive bias that all humans have. It's like a negativity bias or a confirmation bias.

What it shows, is that when we first gain an initial level of understanding or competency in a certain subject, we overestimate our abilities and our expertise. So, you take a year or two of a foreign language, and you think you're good, right? You're breezing through that conversation with the waiter, no problem. But then you go into the actual country, and it turns out you can't participate in a normal conversation with locals; ask me how I know.

I have fallen victim to this effect so many times. Obviously, as I did in the story I just told you with that first mastermind coach. Assuming that because I had a $10k month once, I'd be able to do it again and again and again.

I had a client who was an acupuncturist. She was noticing a pattern where a lot of her clients were leaving. She had helped them completely transform their health and wellbeing, and now they were “cured.”

Which, of course, is the model we're brought up with here in the west. So, it’s understandable why they’d think that. There's some acute condition, you take medicine, and then the condition goes away, problem solved.

But my client knew that there were underlying patterns that were driving the discomfort and the disease of her patients. That wasn't an isolated incident. And so, they needed to drastically change how they were living and thinking, keep coming in to keep this all flowing and to integrate this, make this actually part of their lifestyle, and to make really deep changes. And so, it was kind of heartbreaking to her that people were leaving just when they had scratched the surface.

Right then another woman on the collective call spoke up, and she said, “Wow, you know what? I’ve been working with an acupuncturist, and I stopped working with her because I got to such a great level of health. But I've noticed things deteriorating. I really need to go back to my acupuncturist.”

So, what I'm saying, is that what might be going on for you is that you don't know what you don't know, in terms of what is coming down the pipeline for you, what's next for you. Maybe it's not that you don't need support, it's that you aren't able to imagine the areas in which you'll need support. Through no fault of your own, of course, how could you know?

But this is why you want to ask yourself some really good questions. These questions are going to help you get the most out of your next round of coaching, even if you do stay. That's the beauty of this kind of work. So, they're definitely worth some attention.

You can ask yourself: What is my next greatest area of growth? If the ‘me of 10 years from now’ is looking back on this time, what needed to happen now to let me succeed later? What is that person so grateful that I worked on sooner rather than later?

Another great line of questioning is: What pitfalls or potential detours might be ahead of me that I will need help avoiding? How will I prepare for that? Where might I fall back into some default patterns without objective support? If I do, where will that lead me? What will happen? What is the result of that? And so, what am I going to do about it? How am I going to plan for that?

If you are coming up blank with all of that, but you do really want to give this your full consideration and you're like, “Maybe there is just some blind spot,” ask your coach, who has the bird's eye view. Who has a different long-term perspective than you. What do you see as my next greatest area of growth? How would you support me in that?

Again, great question, even if you're going to continue with the coach because it creates clarity for both of you. What are some things up ahead in my journey that I might not even realize are part of the journey? So, don't let a failure of imagination lead you into taking your foot off the gas when you don't consciously want to take your foot off the gas.

Hey, if you do want to take your foot off the gas, I'm going to talk about that in a second. So, hold tight. I remember working with a client who after our first round together was like, “Wow, this has been amazing. Major up-level. Thank you so much. I think we're good.” I had the kind of conversation with her that I'm having with you now, and she did decide to stay.

There were so many things that happened in that next timeframe that I was just so glad, again, that I had stepped forward to have that conversation with her. Because I could see so many ways in which she could have been derailed. Or certain patterns were still coming out that were influencing her ways of being and her decisions, and the things she was doing.

Like, a need for not wanting to look bad, or to let people down, was causing her to bring on a lot of extra work for herself. There were a couple of really big situations with clients where I was like, “Whoa, hold up,” and it led to big up levels in income, big up levels in the way she was working, and the way in which her clients were able to trust her and see her as an authority.

Also, her own quality of living was improved. These were just things that she couldn't have seen in advance because she had never gone through those specific stages before.

A last thing on this topic. Sometimes you're like, “I really feel like I've reached a level of mastery with this subject that the coach is teaching. I think I'm complete.” Again, this might be true. But this episode is about trying on some new ways of thinking. So, if anything, just to test them out, bounce them around your head, right? Then you can be like, “Nope, now I have even more clarity and certainty about my decision.

But here's something I've learned to pay attention to, is your coach the kind of person who's in continual self-development or continual professional development, and continually working with new coaches and learning new things? Because if so, they are going to have more and more tools to bring to you.

Remember before, when I told you I had a mastermind sister who left the mastermind, and then I stayed with the coach? Well, ironically, the coach ended up moving in to kind of a different way of coaching that I think really would have been a great fit for that mastermind sister of mine.

I'm not saying that you should just take a blind leap of faith, hoping that things will work out well for you. But don't ever assume that this is where it ends for your coach. You're going to grow and they're going to grow. So, I like to think about it like, do I have a really good rapport with this person? Am I getting results with this person? Am I seeing that they are continually in growth and I'm in growth?

Do I want to continue to cocreate and evolve with that coach? I know that's kind of coach-y language, but I'm just telling you exactly my thought pattern. I have a client that chose not to continue with me, for instance. I'm just like oh, because I can see now that exactly where I'm going, the new certification that I'm working on, would have been so helpful for her.

Of course, I pass everything that I learned on to my clients. But I know a very specific sticking point she's had in her belief in her ability to grow her business, and I really believe that this just would have anchored it in for her in such a deep way, and would have transformed her business.

Again, I can hold that with the parallel belief that both she and I are divinely supported on our paths, and so that it's all good. She will absolutely get where she's going, and I'll get where I'm going. But I have a deep, deep trust in this philosophy of ‘we've only just scratched the surface.’ How good can it get? Let's keep going.

Alright, so we talked about the belief of ‘I'm good, I got this.’ Now, let's go into when you do consciously want to take your foot off the gas. Because I can relate to that line of thinking, too. It's like, “Oof, that was a lot. Lots of changes in a relatively short time. I think I just want to take a break for a bit.” So, that's the second rationale that might be coming up.

I want to break that into two parts. Okay, Part A, is that sometimes taking a break is actually just a nice way of breaking up. It's much better to be fully on it, so that you can make the decision consciously, if so.

I've had clients who really believed they were taking a break, but then something else would come up, and then something else, and they didn't return. I wouldn't want that to be you. You can't make a conscious decision about two choices when you're pulling the wool over your eyes about what those two choices are.

Now, I have had clients say, and I felt myself, “But I'm tired. When am I going to stop pushing myself? When do I get to take a break?” And this is part B. You might genuinely be feeling tired, but usually nobody really wants their business to take a break; like, stop providing income, or stop providing more income.

What they want is for their feelings to take a break. For their brain to take a break; the overwhelm, or the not-enoughness, or the feelings of whipping yourself harder and harder. So, you could change the circumstance of not being in a coaching program. You could change that, to try to make your feelings change.

And they might for a little bit, but chances are those feelings will come up again, right? Because it's driven by that inner patterning, that inner belief system. So, wouldn't it be better just to learn to change the pattern that's causing them in the first place? Weed out the perfectionism or the scarcity or the worry or the overdoing it.

That is exactly why you need a coach. Because pushing is not an intrinsic property of growth. The skill that you haven't acquired is learning to manage growth without it being so effort-ey. To not have the business building or the mind building drain you so much. Having less emotional reactivity to the experience of change and self-inquiry. Learning to build rest into your normal, throughout your day, so that it's not something that's finally granted at the end of a big push.

It actually can fuel your expansion, sustain your expansion. And so, even the experience of growth is more loving, more expansive. A marathon runner doesn't stop running after a marathon. Maybe for a day or two, yes. But not for months. You would start to lose all of that muscle growth, all of that conditioning. So, you actually continue your running regimen, just differently, in different ways.

Learning to manage this long term is what you want to do, so that growth can become a manageable and sustainable constant in your business. So, you don't have the starting-and-stopping effect, or the long-plateau effect that many business owners experience. And then, all that frustration that comes with it.

Now, as you're building the skill of doing this, obviously, you don't go straight from it's all-or-nothing into a more modulated experience. Some days you might feel exhausted, that's what we get to dig into and work on.

That's how you get to the point where you'll notice you're spending only half the time feeling activated. And the other half you feel pretty regulated. You feel okay. Then, you're noticing how much more quickly you reacclimate when you do get all spun up. Eventually, it's only certain days here and there when you're really feeling like it's too much.

Essentially you build your capacity for, and you improve your experience of, growth. I have seen it very often that people have the best of intentions when they say they're just going to take a break. But then there's inertia to get back into the saddle.

Maybe when they plan to come back life ends up getting crazy. So, they think, “Oh, I'll go back next month,” and then next month. Or they get sidetracked, and maybe they're on someone's list who has a launch and so they get pulled in and they end up doing some other totally different program. So, instead of moving forward with what they're doing, they're context switching to a new system.

This is sometimes a reflection of the desire to chase that new honeymoon feel of when you first begin a coaching program. I will talk about that more in the very last topic that I address. But sometimes it's a completely different type of coaching, on a personal talk for instance, they just get more interested in that. It's like, “Squirrel!”

Since that can sometimes coincide with the belief that, “I can't do more than one thing at a time. I just have to focus on one coaching investment at a time,” then your timeline ends up getting pushed out much longer than you anticipated, or maybe forever.

I remember once, I was talking to a client and I said, “It's kind of like going back to school. If you stopped college halfway through, and you say you’ll go back later after a break. But then, people don't tend to actually go back later.”

She said, “Well, actually, I did stop college. And, I did end up going back. So really, I am absolutely going to do this. I'm the kind of person that will be the one that breaks this pattern. I'll be the one that comes back, and it'll happen this fall.” But it still hasn't happened, between you and me. So, looking forward to an update in the future. Maybe she does have me eating my words. I will be the first to admit it.

What I'm saying is, it's very important to ask yourself: Is this break important enough to me that I'm willing to risk never coming back to coaching? I know that sounds dramatic, but hear me out. It can provide exactly the fire and clarity you need to decide that, “No, dammit, that's not going to happen to me.”

Then, you can come up with some plans. What am I going to do in a month or two, if I get to that point, and I find I'm delaying my return? How am I going to meet the possible resistance? What are the things that my brain is likely to do or tell me? Does it tend to distract me? Does it tend to overwhelm me? Does it tend to tell me certain things that keep me in the status quo, where I would be playing smaller over time than what I'm capable of?

Since, if you're listening to this, you're not the type of person that wants to play small, then how are you going to navigate your way through that? Does this help you, thinking through these questions, does this help this ground in? Does this help you create the mental momentum you need in order to continue, rather than taking a break?

Maybe you decide to continue in a certain way. Maybe you decide to continue, but you want to do things differently this time. Or for the first month you want to have a different experience of it? All of this will provide clarity for you about how you can meet all of your needs.

Okay, here's another one that I hear, “It just doesn't fit in my budget right now.” Now, for some people, you're in a very dire economic circumstance. You have no access to credit, or the available rates to you are so high that you couldn't even afford the payments. And everything you're earning is just paying for your rent and your kid’s needs. If that's you, you are not the person I'm talking to in this particular topic.

Okay, of course, make sure your survival and your subsistence are taken care of, absolutely. But for most of the people listening, that is not your circumstance. For most of the people I speak with, that express concerns around money, maybe they're a little tight on cash. Or they're pretty okay, but they're afraid they might become tight on cash. Or they just don't want to use family funds. Or they just don't want to take on debt.

Now, that's totally okay. You're an adult, and you get to make those choices. I get that what I'm about to suggest might sound a little triggering to you. I remember, about 15 years ago or so, I had some friends. They both had a very strong abundance mindset. They were leaps and bounds ahead of me in terms of personal development and mindset work and energetics, and all the things.

I remember when they would talk to me about topics like abundance, I would get so triggered. I just remember thinking, “Of course, it's easy for you to talk like that, because you guys have all of this money.” Meanwhile, I had just given up my job in order to follow my new husband to Germany, and he was earning a military paycheck. I was like, “Some of us don't have the cash that you have, you all.”

But of course, now I can see in hindsight, that my way of being around money was exactly what was keeping me poor. That's a bit of a mind twister, but for instance, that's also, not coincidentally, the time in my life where I was sitting on Marie Forleo's list for years and years. Because I just couldn't bear to spend $2,000 to start investing in my business.

So, the way I felt about money, and the choices I was making about money, were really contributing to the fact that I didn't have money. Just like when I was struggling with clarity, and that coach had the gall to ask me what I’d do if I were guaranteed success in anything.

I got so mad, because that's so ridiculous. No rational adult would say they can be successful at just anything. There were a million things that could fail. And not realizing that my fear of failure is what was keeping my clarity and my truths from coming through. Because every time they started to, I’d squash them down and say, “But what if that doesn't work? Here's all the reasons why it wouldn't work, or might not work.”

So, if the only reason you're not moving forward with coaching is that you don't want to spend the money, even though you've gotten great results, and you have an idea of what you'd be working on next, then chances are there's an underlying pattern that is keeping you from having the abundance that you do so want.

Which, again, there is nothing wrong with you. I think we've all been there. It's just the soup that most of us were raised in. But remember, the point of this episode is to help you really think through your decisions in a different way, and make a plan for the future.

So, just sitting with yourself, and recognizing that you could get the money and you are choosing not to, is really helpful. Because then we can be like, “Okay, why? Why am I choosing not to?” Maybe, for some of you, another investment might just activate your nervous systems so much that you just curl up in a tiny, little ball and you can't do anything. That freeze response kicks in.

If that's your feeling about what will happen, good to know. In that case, you now know that what you need to be working on is nervous system resiliency. You need to expand your system's capacity to tolerate discomfort, and to readjust back to a baseline of comfort.

Because the longer you stay in that reactivity, just reacting to uncomfortable things, you're going to be challenged in so many ways in life and business. And thank God that you recognized it now, so that you know what to work on.

Or maybe it's just that you have the thought, “Good girls like me don't do selfish things like that. We don't just keep spending all this money on ourselves.” Not the business, on ourselves. Again, good to know, right? “That way of thinking might be holding me back from showing up fully as a CEO.” So, maybe you need to work on expanding your self-concept, the way that you think about yourself.

Or if it's, “What would so-and-so think of me if I did that?” Then maybe your work is in really having your own back, rather than putting so much weight on what others think of you.

And then of course, a lot of us women have beliefs around not being trustworthy with money. Or that they can only really let themselves spend on themselves when things get really, really bad. Like, “I can't buy myself a new pair of slippers just because I want them. I have to wait till my current ones are filled with holes.”

I have to laugh as I'm saying that, because I'm actually sitting here in slippers with holes in them. But it's because my son buys me a new pair every Christmas. And so, I don't know, I guess I could get another pair. Anyway, maybe that was a bad example. Maybe it just hits too close to home for me. But I just remember this thinking so clearly, and I see it all around me.

Once you have identified a route, like why you really are making that choice, then you also want to just get clear on the opportunity cost. Because there is a real opportunity cost when you decelerate your timeline. Or the better way to say it, is when you don't get supported to accelerate your timeline.

It's not the end of the world, you'll be totally okay. But in order to make clean, clear decisions from the highest part of our brain, we do need to get real. If your brain is telling you there's absolutely no downside to just taking six months off, or whatever, it is lying to you. It is not giving you the full picture.

Again, nothing to be ashamed of, humans have been proven again and again to be really poor decision makers in the long term. Our brains don't naturally examine all the variables, especially when there's a strong feeling or a limbic response of, “Run away. Run away.” We're not going to sit there and analyze.

This is not something that happens only with people that are just starting their business. I have seen this with people at multiple six figures. I've seen this with people who are earning seven figures in their business; this same type of thinking.

So, if you're telling yourself it's only because of this situation now, I hate to break it to you, that's just not true. If you have a thought pattern, that thought pattern will continue to repeat itself until you do the work to unwind it.

I've had so many fellow mastermind sisters over the years that have chosen not to reinvest, and they'll say something like, “Oh, I just want to save some money this round.” But it's so interesting to see, what did that decision actually cost you? In the short term, it looks like I'm out, let's say, $25,000 for my mastermind, and they have saved $25,000.

But I'll touch base with them a year later, and they're often still right where they were. But with a fuck-ton more mind drama now. They're just wondering, “What's wrong with me? Why is this taking me so long? Why isn't this working? What's wrong with my audience?” All the things. And that is a cost, that extra mental turmoil is a cost.

Now, they're coming to me for advice because my business has grown, and they think I must have some magic formula. Which, of course, I do, and I share with my clients. But really, the magic formula is stick with it. Keep going. That is what separates the successful entrepreneurs from the people that don't become successful, right?

We invest, we keep going, we figure things out, we work through the kinks, and we get where we need to go. Oh, I just had this flashback of hearing this same thing from people when I was starting out, and it's just so ironic that it took me years, but here I am saying the same damn thing.

Okay, remember before when I was addressing this concern of ‘I need to take my foot off the gas?’ We talked about how that can be a response to uncomfortable emotions. But that by changing the circumstance of the coaching program, or whatnot, not only do we not get to do the important work of managing our response to emotions, we're going to sweeping that under the rug, but those thoughts will likely just pop up again in another circumstance.

ere again, when you're choosing to save some money because it's feeling bad to you to be spending so much on your business, you're changing a circumstance in order to try to change a feeling. “I don't like the feelings of discomfort that come with the thought of reinvesting. So, I'll just avoid them altogether by not reinvesting.”

Rather than, “I know reinvesting is what will help move my business forward. And so, I'm going to change my thought about that, in order to serve my long-term vision.”

My mastermind sisters perceived they'd feel better in the short term, and maybe they did. But they weren't accounting for how bad it would feel later on when they were feeling unsupported and really frustrated in their business.

I gave the example of people whose businesses haven't grown, but I have actually seen some businesses that lost money, started earning less, and then would blame it on the economy or whatever.

I've also seen other ones whose businesses have grown, but what's happened is that they've entered into a new level that they weren't prepared for and didn't have the coaching support for, and so their time has extended at that income level, rather than continuing to grow.

So, what is the value to you, and this is going to be different for everyone… and it may not be high… but what is the value to you of being supported up until your ultimate goal? Versus, band-aid methods where you only intervene in the poorest performing years? Or in the most extreme mental circumstances where you're just filled with self-loathing? When the pain gets bad enough. When otherwise, it's just too much luxury.

Another thing is, maybe didn't see the results that you expected before. And so, you feel shame. So much shame that you don't want to spend money again. It's like, “I'm going to punish myself. Therefore, that will make the shame go away.”

But shame is optional, right? If you don't get the results you expected, it just means that you had never tried it before, and you didn't know how long it was going to take for you to accomplish that thing you've never accomplished. It's different for all of us, because we all have different levels of baggage that we have to shed, in order to fully show up and receive more and more money, and put out more and more value.

Or sometimes people don't really believe they're worth spending money on. Maybe they had some sort of arbitrary number in their head, like, “Oh, I'm worth spending $5,000 on. I'm worth spending $10,000 on,” and they spend that. But then, after that, it's like the gate shuts. “No more beyond that. I can't spend more than that on myself.”

I was certainly there. I remember when I finally spent that $2,000 on the program. I'm like, “Okay, but that's it. No more money is getting spent on my business.” Two-thousand dollars, which is just ridiculous to me, looking back on that. Because other companies, huge companies, will spend years investing in their business before they expect to see a profit.

But for some reason, when you're a solopreneur, we have… especially women and high performers… we have these standards for ourselves where we should just be able to knock it out of the park from day one. With a completely new skill set triggering every bit of our vulnerability and fears.

Another thing might be that you don't feel trust in yourself to keep going, or you don't feel trust in the Universe to support you. And so, you deal with that by kind of drawing back into your shell, and not continuing to expand and take risk. Honestly, when we are feeling threatened, of course we're less likely to take risk. That's just basic neuroscience.

Well, luckily, we have this thing called the cerebral cortex, where we can start to analyze all of this and see what's going on, and think from a less reactionary place. So, again, you definitely could choose to avoid the discomfort by not making an expenditure. But until you deal with what is driving that decision, that thing is not going to go away.

If you're driven by the belief ‘this isn't a real business,’ I guarantee that's going to be filtering its way into your messaging, and a whole lot of other areas too. Or you could, instead, be like, “Whoa, so glad I uncovered this. Jeez, that wasn't going to be helpful for me. Let's work through that one, so I can release it and move on.”

I also hear people saying, “Well, I just don't do debt. Debt is just wrong.” It's as if the 11th commandment is “Thou shall not incur debt.” I get it that comes from, and I've talked about this before on the podcast, there are a lot of very strong and persuasive financial gurus telling us, showing us, how crippling debt can be for us and how unmanageable it can be. And that is a scary thought.

However, that line of reasoning is meant for employees that can never increase their income beyond a certain amount, and therefore, their only method of wealth generation is through spending less. And maybe investing in something like the stock market, where they can get a modest rate of return.

We, however, are entrepreneurs. We know that we are our best bet. That we will definitely, over the long term, outperform the stock market. Therefore, it makes rational, logical sense for us to invest in ourselves. Because our minds are our businesses.

Even billion dollar companies like Meta and Berkshire Hathaway take on debt. They issue bonds, because they realize that using that money to invest in their company now will yield far greater returns than if they just slowly saved that money and then invested it later. It's just a numbers game. The accountants at Meta are not making it mean anything about themselves that they're taking on debt, they're just crunching numbers and seeing that it makes sense to take on debt.

If it's helpful, that experience that I told you about with my mastermind coach, Luisa, when she told me I just scratched the surface, was a big turning point for me. I've talked about this before too, but this might be your first episode tuning in. So, I'm just going to lay it all out for you.

I was, of course, so grateful that I had her support a couple of months later, and that was when I decided that I was no longer going to take breaks in coaching, in business building. I wasn't going to think of my coaching expenditures as investments anymore.

Investments are, you build a bridge, you have this big outlay, construct the bridge, and then it's done, right? But I decided to start thinking of it as an operating expense. This was something that I would always be doing. I would always be investing in my brain and my business as an ongoing cost of doing business. It's the mental hygiene that it takes to maintain the brain of a CEO.

Do you know how highly valuable our brains are? What is the amount you think you'll earn? Maybe it's $100,000. You're like I used to be, and you're like, “I just want $100,000 business.” Alright, so how long do you plan to be in business? For the next 20 years? So, earning $100,000 each year, that's a valuable brain.

If you are projecting to reach seven figures, or multiple seven figures, you have a very valuable brain. You need to start treating yourself to the fuel your brain needs. It's like you've got this Ferrari brain, but you're like, “Oh, I think I should save three cents and get myself the bargain unleaded.” No, at least not for my clients.

I can see I attract amazing people, and I can see the gold in them. I can see where they're going, and I need them performing at a very high level because they have such great things to do in the world. It's like, “We don't have time for your money scarcity, right now. You have big things to do. Let's get with it.” Ooh, I'm feeling a little spicy right now.

Okay, so one last point I want to bring in, and this is from the episode I did called “How to Win at the Game of Entrepreneurship.” You want to go and listen to that. But it was based on a conversation I had with my husband, who's active duty military. He was talking about the difference between tactics and strategy.

So, when you think about tactics, it's more like, “Okay, we're going to go take that hill. How are we going to go take that hill?” But when you think about strategy, it's much more long term. For instance, “What is our strategy with China?” It's not about taking one hill or accomplishing one small goal. It's really about a very dynamic situation that will involve decades.

I know that, for me, when I have been able to step back and see that long-term view, it's taken so much pressure off of me. It's given me so much resiliency and fortitude. But also it's kept me chugging away at, “Okay, how am I going to get there?”

All right, let's move on to the fourth topic. Now, remember, the first was when you're thinking, “Oh, I'm good. I got this. Now I learned what I needed to learn.” The second, is when you want to take your foot off the gas. You're like, “This is too much. I need a break.” And the third was, “It's too expensive. I don't want to do it.”

Well, the fourth is, “I just need to try implementing what I've learned already on my own.” Now, that might be some variation of the first one, right? That ‘I'm good now, I know what to do.’ But usually there's some kind of deeper root. It's something like, “I hold myself to such high standards, that if I didn't do every single training, or try every single thing my coach suggested, I'm not yet allowed to move forward.”

Now, I've gone through entire masterminds and never even touched the curriculum. I decide what my intention is when I enter a new coaching program, and how I want to develop. I allow myself sometimes to just go to the coaching calls, or just go to some of the coaching calls.

For some of you, especially those of you in number three ‘I can't afford that,’ that might freak you out because you're calculating every single dollar. What is the value of each coaching call? What is the value of the curriculum? “I can't waste that. Then, I'm spending money on things that I didn't even use.”

That's not how I think of it. I think, “What is the result that I want to accomplish by joining this?” How do I want to change and develop, is a better question. “How do I want to change and develop, through this concentrated effort of mine, on this subject?” Then, I trust that it will happen.

I still take aligned action to make it so, but I just trust that the downloads come to me, that I show up on the days that I need to, to really hear the lesson I need. I just trust that it will come, and it does.

Okay, this is getting a little woo, but I'm just going to put it out there. Sometimes I'm investing in a program, and that is the intention and the focus, but it just leads me to then listen to different podcasts on the subject. And I end up getting kind of an epiphany or a-ha from something completely different, outside of that coaching program. But the point is, that investing got me that result. That's how I see it. I see that my concerted effort, and my dedication and commitment to making it happen, which I demonstrate through my investment, opens my brain to what it needs in order to move forward.

Okay, I probably talked about this before in my episode on Uncommon Perspectives, where I talk about investing. We'll link to that in the show notes, too. But since we're on the topic, I want to make sure you have all of the highlights.

So, I do have a very high trust in being led by my Higher Self. I understand that some of you don't have that trust, right now. And I also have a very healthy relationship with all of the investments I've made in the past. Which again, a lot of you don't have. You're still beating yourself up about some of the investments in your past. I think even the “not so good” experiences were often the most valuable, they showed me exactly what I didn't want to do.

Another root cause of this ‘I need to try implementing,’ and what I've already learned is, “I'm not ready to move forward.” That is a big one, because that ‘I'm not ready’ belief will tend to sneak in to so many other things, too. So, I'll give you some examples here.

I had a client who chose not to reinvest with me, or to take a break, however you want to look at it. Very shortly thereafter, she announced that she was pursuing a business strategy that I definitely would not have recommended. She was putting out a new course, and I could see it as very much something that she didn't yet have the skills to roll out.

I could also see that it was going to take away a lot of time, and totally break the momentum of everything we had put together for her in the Clarity Accelerator. But she wasn't my client anymore, and so I couldn't catch that and let her know what was ahead of her.

Now, if she had been my client, and we'd had that conversation, she might have still said, “This is a deep intuitive hit, I have to run with it.” And then I would have said, “Great, I'll support you. As long as you are clear on what might result because of it.” But I don't know if she understood all of that.

If you're launching something completely new… and notice, it was like, “I just want to try implementing this on my own.” But then, she didn't just implement what we'd worked on, on her own, she switched course and started doing something completely different.

Those are the kinds of things that brains just do. You don't catch it when you're inside your own brain, because, of course, it always seems like the perfectly rational thing to do. And it's something you can't anticipate when you're making that decision.

So, again, it's just a way of showing how having a coach is like an insurance policy. Someone who can objectively see your patterns and your actions in a way that you might not be able to.

I have another client who, when I communicated with her over the years, I would notice that even though we had gotten very clear in our time together, she didn't seem quite so clear. Then I saw her, about five years after I had worked with her, in another group.

She was saying, “Oh, my gosh, this is so great.” She had just joined the group. “This is so great. I've never felt clearer and more aligned than I do right now.” But I remembered her saying those exact same words to me five years ago.

What this shows me, is that her brain has a pattern of being confused. Again, that's the kind of thing that when you are with a coach who's seen you long term, when you have this great idea that, of course… again, I work with very smart women who can articulate their point of view really well about why they should go down this path… If you have a coach who knows you over time, they will be able to point out, “I hear you, and I just want to remind you, there was also this time when… And over here, there was also the pattern of confusion again. So, what do we really need to work on here?”

Sometimes the route of ‘I need to try implementing what I've learned on my own’ is, again, “I don't want to spend money, unless things are really bad.” But think about that. Why? Why wouldn't you want the experience of support? I guess you could physically build a house all on your own, and get blueprints and YouTube everything, but why would you want to do that?

Often, with clients who would say something like, “Oh, I just want to do this on my own,” if I were to say, “Okay, well, do you want to join us for free for the next few months and get my support?” They'd say, okay.

That just shows that it's not that they really want to do it on their own, it's just that they don't want to spend the money when they think they're not maybe taking enough action to justify the expenditure. But again, justifying the expenditure is something that only they can decide. They get to choose whether that expenditure is justified. Only you get to do that.

I said this before, but sometimes they have the thought, “I'll be paying again, for what I already should have accomplished, and that's just too much shame. So, rather than get more support, to now get to the point where I wish I had been, I'm just going to slog through it alone for a while. And kind of punish myself, and then not have to explore the discomfort of shame.”

Quite honestly, you're also not going to explore the discomfort of setting goals and not always reaching your goals. Because guess what? That's going to happen over and over and over again, as an entrepreneur.

Hey, maybe you just have something coming up, maybe in your personal life or whatever, that you really want to spend your money on rather than coaching. And for whatever reason, you don't want to accrue debt, or pull from savings, or sell off an asset, or find a way to earn extra money.

I had a client once who really wanted to buy a Range Rover instead of getting coaching. Not the choice I would make, but again, totally your choice as an adult. I don't mean to imply that all budgetary calculations are superficial. The Range Rover, it actually didn't feel that way for my client; she put a lot of meaning behind it.

I remember one of my own calculations, at one point, was around hiring a gestational surrogate. That was as meaningful to me as my business. Whatever the case, if this is truly you, and there's something that important to you, I recommend you relisten to the previous topic, the one about taking a break and taking your foot off the gas.

Ask yourself all the questions at the very end. Build up some fire for what you do want to create long term, and when and how you will choose to be supported in that. And get real with yourself, and think through all the ways you might get sidetracked.

And since patterns can repeat themselves… For you, it might be something around another expenditure, or feeling like you don't have enough money. Again, just make a plan for how you're going to solve for that now rather than later.

Maybe you'll decide you're going to set a certain amount aside each month, to help you remember why you want support and how committed you are to creating your vision.

Then, just pay attention, over time. Are you able to stick to that? If not, if you're constantly coming up short and having to put things on hold, then honestly, that's a huge reason why you need to get into a great coaching program ASAP.

I've talked to potential clients who say, “I just want to pay off my debt first, and then I'll invest.” But if your pattern has always been to carry debt and hold off on this change you're making, then this might be the time that you actually want to go more into debt to break that pattern.

I know that might ruffle some feathers, even some coaches are very anti-debt. I'm not one of them, obviously. I would trade a few hundred dollars, or even a thousand dollars, in interest, any day, if it would help me vastly improve the rest of my life. I have, my friend, I have. I was you, once upon a time.

Okay, the final one I have is, “I'm not feeling that same gut hit, or that same excitement that I did when I signed up before.” I have been through this, too. I remember once, I worked with a coach, and I got amazing results. Then, when it was time to re-invest, it was like, “I got nothing.” I said the exact words, “I'm just not as jazzed as I want to be.”

To make matters worse, I was working with her on energetics and intuition. Really learning to lean in to that sacral fire. And now, all of a sudden, it made no logical sense in my brain. Why wouldn't I be excited about continuing these great results?

Luckily, I was able to talk with her really openly about it. She asked me, “Well, when you think about the goal that you want to accomplish, the end result, do you feel jazzed about that?” And then, it was a clear yes, “Absolutely. I feel jazzed about that.”

What I can see, in hindsight, what I wasn't feeling jazzed about, was the work of it, was the showing up for calls each week, was the… Well, I'll just tell you this, too. So, after I did tap into that and then decide to reinvest, I had a massive clarity download very shortly after. I realized that what had been holding me back was really the method.

So, she had a very active do-do-do approach, and I'd had a lot of that up until then, a lot of that masculine energy. What I was really craving was just a space to be able to work on the intuition and the energetics. And so, I could care less about whether my business grew, I just wanted to nail this piece of it.

Then we had a great conversation, and I was able to have, again, an amazing next round with her. I was so glad I did it. But notice how I took responsibility for uncovering that. I kept asking myself the questions, and asking my coach the questions, and being open to finding the way that would work. And, really weeding out the things that didn't feel right.

Now, maybe I would have brought this up to her and she be like, “Nope, sorry, that's the way I work. That's what I want to work on,” and then it would have been a perfectly amicable parting of ways. We would have realized that we just weren't a fit anymore. That didn't happen, she was very open to it. Really, it was about me taking charge of my coaching experience, and thus my results.

While I'm here, I'll just pop in another. This is not as common, this reason I hear for not continuing, but it's that, “I'm afraid my coach has too much influence on me. They're rubbing off too much on me.” But any good coach is going to welcome this kind of feedback, and will be honest about either not being able to support you in that new way you're thinking of, or being excited to co-create this new different experience together.

So really, you just want to be thinking about, when you're testing yourself for your excitement level about reinvesting, what are you focusing on? Are you focusing on the work involved? The weekly calls? Or are you focused on the end result?

Because it's very, very natural that brains would rather not have to stay aware of their thoughts, or process disappointment. Of course, any smart brain that wants to avoid that, would tamp down feelings of excitement for moving forward with that. The brain’s like, “Whoa, whoa, we're good. We don't want to grow. We don't want to do all that stuff.”

So, we won't get all those feel good neurons firing. It doesn't feel the same as that honeymoon phase of ‘let's just take the leap. This is the key to everything. Let's just do it, and then I'll live happily ever after.’ That's a huge dopamine release.

But just because there's less dopamine doesn't necessarily mean it's less worth it. It just means you're having a more mature experience of it. And, you have to ask yourself some more questions about it.

There's a saying in therapy, which is, “Just when you don't want to come to therapy, is probably when you need to.” This is when the things that really need to be uncovered are getting uncovered. That can be true, in some instances, with coaching as well.

I believe that one of the most important things I can teach a client, because this is essential for accomplishing big goals, is how do you weather those low dopamine periods? Those natural slumps that happen in your journey. Like, when you come home from a great vacation where you were pinging on all levels, and then wahh-wahh, it just feels like a deficit, relatively.

How can you roll with that, rather than let it take you off course? Just imagine two people, both had the same experience of a great honeymoon period with a coach, both begin to feel the more mature experience, it's kind of like marriage, right? They start to feel that more mature experience of the day-to-day and the long-term work. And when it's time to renew and reinvest, one of them continues to get support for three years straight.

While the other one takes some time off here or there. Maybe it finally gets to the point where they hit some new difficulties, but they're learning that the hard way. They hire a new coach, they re-explain their business, and the coach has to get to know their patterns. And after that honeymoon the pattern kind of repeats. Just imagine how different the two businesses are after the three years.

So, just to be really clear here, I'm sharing this with you so that you can ask yourself questions. Not so that you can gaslight yourself, and then brute force your way into something that isn't right for you. That is not The Uncommon Way.

Just ask yourself if you're still excited about the vision. Do you need to shift the goal in any way? Do you need to change the way you've been working towards your goal? Or the way that you've been supported in working towards your goal?

Then, assuming you do want to get to that vision and you do want support to get there, because why wouldn't you, do you want this coach to support you?

So, I had a client that went through the same line of thinking for herself. Because the same thing was happening with her that had happened before with me and my coach. She'd had amazing results, all logic would point to the fact that we would continue, but she just wasn't feeling that excitement.

And so, she did the work that she needed to do to figure out if she really wanted to get clear, if she really wanted to move forward, and why. Came back reinvested with all of that fire, and decisiveness. And then, within the first or second call, we uncovered a decision she was making about her clients that was really driven by a very unhelpful pattern.

A bit later, she underwent a huge expansion of her vision, with this massive download about where she's really heading long term. It wasn't exactly what she originally thought. That vision, previously, was kind of step one. And this, was step three.

So, those things wouldn't have happened… Which, that isn't true. I do believe they absolutely would have happened if that's the direction she needed to go. But they wouldn't have happened in the same ways and with the same timelines, if we weren't creating this together.

Yes, there are the tactics that your coach gives you, but there's also the energetic imprint of the two of you creating a reality together, that's different or better than if either of you did it on your own. I couldn't create the businesses that my clients have on my own. But their businesses wouldn't look the same if they created them alone or with someone else.

Alright, so those are the five patterns I see come up when people are thinking about reinvesting, and the corresponding questions you have around what to ask yourself if you're finding that you're in that place. You want to get really clear and make sure you're making a very clean decision from your highest place.

Also, if you're deciding not to move forward, or you're deciding to move forward, you really have a much more substantial plan of action and better direction.

As always, I hope that this has served you deeply. If so, please take a moment to leave a review, or to share this with a friend that you think could benefit from hearing it.

Thank you very much for tuning in. Remember, you know who you are, and each day you're stepping further into what you're here to create.

Hey, if you want true clarity about your secret sauce, your people, your best way of doing business, and how you talk about your offer, then I invite you to join us in the Clarity Accelerator. I'll teach you to connect all the dots, the dots that have always been there for you, so that you can show up like you were born for exactly this.

Come join us and supercharge every other tool or tactic you'll ever learn, from Facebook ads to manifestation. Just go to TheUncommonWay.com/schedule and set up a time to talk. I can't wait to be your coach.

Thanks for joining us here at The Uncommon Way. If you want more tips and resources for developing clarity in your business and life, including the Clarity First strategy for growing and scaling your business, visit TheUncommonWay.com. See you next time.

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Ep #71: How I Structure My 33-Hour Workweek

Episode Summary

Jenna shares her weekly routine that supports her business, self, and family.

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Show Notes

I love my routine, and recently a client asked me exactly what it is. It's smart to learn from others and see which of their approaches could work in your life. That's why I’m so excited to break down my week for you, day by day and hour by hour.

In this episode of “The Uncommon Way”, I share my ideal schedule and the choices I make for it to unfold as gracefully as possible. With that, I know how easily life can get in the way. I’ll discuss daily approaches for reducing your cognitive load so that when disruptions do occur, you don’t feel overwhelmed or stressed.

Your mindset is key to making your routine work. The structure I have created around myself is a reflection of the structure I have created within my mind. Listen in to learn how you can build a structure that allows for professional, creative, and personal development.

What You’ll Learn From This Episode:

• My weekly routine.

• Approaches for cutting down your cognitive load.

• Why improving our mindset is the first step to building a schedule.

• How to make choices that support both your business and personal life.

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Full Episode Transcript:

Today, I'm pulling back the curtain on what my life looks like running a multiple six-figure service business, with the nitty-gritty details of how I structure my weeks and the practices that work for me after years of trial and error.

You're listening to The Uncommon Way Business and Life Coaching Podcast, the only podcast that helps you unlock your next level in business and life by prioritizing your Clarity and your own Uncommon Way. You will learn to maximize your mindset, mission, messaging, and strategy in order to create a true legacy. Here's your host, top-ranked business coach and reformed over-analyzer turned queen of clarity, Jenna Harrison.

Hi, welcome back to The Uncommon Way. Today, I'm bringing you a topic by listener request. Somebody asked me if I could share what my days look like, and I said, “Yes, I am an open book.”

I love topic requests, and love being able to help you out with wherever you are needing my perspective or inspiration or you're just stuck at a certain place in your business. I know that if one person's asking someone else needs to hear it, as well. So, please keep the topic requests coming.

You can find me on any of the socials at The Uncommon Way. I may not respond immediately, since I'm not on social every day but I will respond personally. You could also email us at info@theuncommonway.com.

All right, I completely and totally get the request to see how somebody else lives their life. It's very smart of us to learn from others, and stretch our brain into new ideas so that we can come up with really what works for us and our uncommon way.

When it comes to this particular topic, I still remember when my first coach sent out an email, and she was talking about how she has the same breakfast every morning. I can still remember it; I'm still thinking about it. At the time, I thought, “Oh, this is so interesting.”

She said that she was working with a health coach specifically, who helps entrepreneurs maximize their energy and their mental acuity so that they could hustle harder, basically. And when I think back on it, tap into higher levels of thought leadership, was another one, and maintain their energy. So, it was such a mind opener, to be so focused on your business that even your breakfast choices are supporting your business.

Now, it might seem obvious to some of you that, of course your nutritional choices support your day. But we're going way back in my journey here. I mean, I had thought about nutrition, maybe for fertility or some sort of physical thing you were doing, or to avoid a certain health condition. But to boost my performance as an entrepreneur? Never.

What specifically stuck with me about her story, was that the reason she wanted to have the same breakfast every day was to reduce her cognitive load. When she thought about the decision making capacity that she had in a day, she didn't want to be spending some of those muscles or some of that brain space on her breakfast.

While I obviously don't take on all the practices of the entrepreneurs that I look up to, I'll often grab one little nugget. And so, that really is my hope for this episode. That there is some nugget here that will serve you, or something that you can bounce off against your own thoughts and realize, come to clarity, about why this isn't for you and what you want to do instead.

I realize now that I do have a similar way of running my daily choices and rhythms through the filter of what supports my work in the world. And of course, vice versa. Wanting the choices I make in my business to best support my life.

I think the biggest one, is that I have a digital online service business. I can take it anywhere in the world with me because travel is so important. That was a very strategic decision from the very, very beginning because I had had more brick-and-mortar style models of businesses in the past, and I knew that that was something I really wanted to move into.

I am also thinking about how to reduce my cognitive load. How do I increase efficiency so that I make space for joy and ease and satisfaction in life? I have a strong belief now, I didn't always, but I do now, that any moment of time throughout the day is very valuable, and that my mind is very powerful. And so, my decision supports both of those.

I've created a very disciplined structure. But I will say, and I have proven this to myself over and over, is that while that tactical stuff is important, the systems, the schedules, the allowing yourself to be supported, that mindset has to come first.

Many of you are going to hear me say these words right now, but you won't really hear them yet. I remember being there hearing coaches talk about this, and my brain would just jump to, “Yes, but you don't have kids. Yes, but you have a team to support you and I'm still a solopreneur. Yes, but… Yes, but… Yes, but…” So, I do get it.

Again, I'm not completely discounting that, there is some truth, of course. But I'm adamant about this, and I'll be talking about it again and again, throughout this episode. So, I'm just going to repeat it: The mindset has to come first.

You can duplicate the schedule I have, with the level of support I have, but if deep down you're still attached to hustle culture, or to proving yourself to some imaginary challenger, or you have money scarcity, or simply you haven't relaxed with the pattern of heightened nervous system activation, you will have a completely different experience of your life than I do. You'll feel stressed, and most likely, you'll fall out of the schedule and you'll start working nights or something; ask me how I know.

On the other hand, there will be some of you that perceive that I'm working a lot. You might find yourself thinking, “Ugh, that sounds like a lot. So, I never want to grow my business beyond $100,000.” Of course, that's totally fine, you do not have to. In fact, that's what I used to think.

But I'll tell you that my days feel less hard now than they did at $100,000. I actually have more clients now than I did then. That's because of capacity building. I have now built the capacity to handle things that would have totally fried me before.

Sometimes I have five hours of straight calls in a day. That's an anomaly, but it happens, and I'm okay with it. I can produce more in a shorter timeframe than I ever could have been. So, the reason that I can describe myself as a busy working mom, and yet not feel the overwhelm and burnout of that statement, is again, the mind.

My interior monologue around the things that I'm doing creates peace and flow. And by the way, when I say things I'm doing, I mean, the things I'm doing to keep myself out of the stress response, which points to the other side of the whole mind body equation. Right? The body. And I could do just a whole episode on this, but, tactically, here's what that looks like.

Here are the things I'm doing throughout the day that make my experience so different. So sometimes it's just like 5 seconds of mindfulness. Those really add up throughout the day because your brain and body then start to just do it for you. Sometimes it's just 60 seconds of moving my body or closing my eyes and taking some deep breaths or stepping outside and feeling the sun on my face. Sometimes it looks like a bubble bath in the middle of the day. Sometimes it looks like choosing a book by the fire instead of TV at night.

But I'm in perpetual monitoring of what's going on in my body and then resettling it. And I combine that with the mindset side. And then together, it creates a very different experience that I used to have. And for any of you that feel threatened by slowing down, who feel that gut hit of “but then everything else gonna fall apart, and I won't achieve my dreams and everything.” Or if you are in the space where you're like, “Yeah. You know, 60 seconds of breathing deeply, that doesn't even feel that great to me. Like, why would I do that?”

Just really listen to me when I say this. It's the total experience that ends up changing for you. It's not about the 60 seconds. It's about the way your body starts to feel and think and perceive so differently. And so I'm saying this with love, but you just have no idea how much. The opposite is true, that, actually, you then can speed up so much more and how much a better life is here on the other side when this becomes your new normal.

Would I like to create even more whitespace in my week, and produce even higher levels of output? You betcha. The steps are being put in place to create more of that.

But am I stressed out that I'm not there at this precise moment? No. Whether or not they ever shift, I'm good. My life satisfaction isn't dependent on the external. And I'm in full control of my time, if I did want to change it. I know exactly why I'm doing what I'm doing, and I'm in love with what I'm doing.

We all have the same number of hours in a day. There will always be people who can do more in a day than you, and who won't be able to do as much as you. People who work more, and people who work less. I love to remind myself that people like, I don't know, Neil deGrasse Tyson, for some reason I think about him frequently as a point of reference.

He works at the Natural History Museum, he writes books, he has a podcast, he speaks all over, on and on and on. Yet, he has the same number of hours as me. What matters for your quality of life is how you experience your time and your routines and your choices.

The thing that I'm most proud of when it comes to this episode isn't the schedule that I've created for myself, although I've made some very smart choices and it suits my current needs, but what I'm most proud of is the experience I've created for myself.

And the consistent evidence I see of an upward trend in the things that matter in my life. How relaxed and joyful I am as I move through my day. The kinds of results my clients are getting. The amount of time that is spent in my zone of genius, versus outside my zone of genius. How mindful I am, and how I prioritize the things that really regenerate me. How much I treat myself like someone I love and adore. Those are the kinds of things I'm tracking and that I'm optimizing for.

It's very important that I make one caveat here at this point, which is when I say all of this that I've just said about my experience, this is my usual experience. Yes, there are days, or even a week, where I'm in the space of ‘this is too much and I just can't,’ or I blow things off and time flies and it seems like nothing gets accomplished. Totally. I have a human brain.

But my typical experience is what I'm talking about, and that's what I think all of us need to focus on. That's what's most helpful for us all to focus on, rather than the times when we kind of “fall short.”

So, let's break it down. I wake up at 6:40 every weekday. If I didn't have a child, I'd probably be up working until 2:00 each night, and then I'd be sleeping in and having a leisurely morning. I'm a night owl, and I really feel my creativity and focus kick in right around 10pm. For those of you familiar with ayurveda, I definitely tap into that pitta dosha right around then. I wake up and just zoom, come online.

But that is not my current reality right now. It's 6:40 on weekdays and 8am on weekends. If you're wondering how is that possible, if I have a six-year-old, that I can sleep in until 8:00, it's because Dylan stays up in his room until those times. He plays with Legos and things if he wakes up early. That definitely happens on weekends. We leave some little snacks up there for him.

We do have a monitor, in case of nightmares or if he's sick, and just so that I can know what time he's waking up. I know if he wakes up really early we're going to have a little more crankiness throughout the day. But when the monitor flips on, when he wakes up, I just turned it off and I go back to sleep.

Because when I don't sleep well, I really notice it. I, myself, am more cranky, I have brain fog, and I just have more of a negativity bias. I'm less optimistic about life, and I judge others more. So, as soon as we brought Dylan home from the hospital, we started working on great sleep habits. I personally believe that the habit of good sleep is one of the greatest gifts you can give your child. Another great gift you can give your child, is a well-rested mama. I believe that so fully.

So, we read that it really comes down to getting enough calories in them when they're infants. And of course, their stomachs are small, so they have to eat frequently and regularly, including during the night. If you do that, rather than just having them eat when they wake up and are hungry, then they'll be able to sleep and they develop the pattern of sleeping.

Maybe that's true, or maybe it's totally been debunked and we just got really lucky with Dylan, but he started sleeping well within a few months, and still sleeps very well and very soundly through the night. When he did wake up, we just kept it very low energy and calm, with few words, so there wasn't lots of snuggling or play time to really incentivize him to stay up or keep waking up.

For those of you wondering, Dylan and I are very touchy and affectionate, so I don't see a negative effect from not co-sleeping with him. But I'm not a child psychologist, so this is obviously for information purposes only.

Anyway, I get up, well rested. Dylan gets up, well rested, and I help him fix his breakfast. I let my dog, Sky, go outside, and I load up her automatic feeder, so we don't have to think about feeding her for the rest of the day. My husband and I have a very good division of labor now.

There's one other thing that we do, Dylan and I. So, I have this eye condition where I need to put warm compresses on my eye twice a day. I use that as a meditation time, as well, kind of a grounding and settling time. Well, Dylan has become drawn to this, so he'll finish his breakfast and he'll come in the room and snuggle up in bed with me.

And so, we started doing kid meditations on Insight Timer. They have all these kid meditations that are really cute. Right now, our current favorite is a dinosaur meditation. We'll just sit there like, imagine being on the back of a dinosaur, swaying steps, and it's just very relaxation oriented.

The adult meditation that I love doing is just an intention setting meditation. Where we sit and really realize what are our thoughts and fears, potentially, about the day? What do we fear might happen? Then, can we shift that and start thinking about what we desire to happen? Really getting into that energy, that will create new results for our future, rather than just repeating the past.

So, Dylan and I will do one of those two. We’ll lay together, do that little meditation until he starts fidgeting, because he's Dylan. At some point, we definitely get the small patterns of a few moments or a few minutes of quiet time. I know it is so great for him.

Anyway, yeah, I kind of have that initial morning time with him, but then Ben is the one that takes care of loading up Dylan's backpack and getting him out the door in the morning. He is a genius, you all, when it comes to gamifying things that Dylan needs to do.

They'll have this big race and competition to see who can do all the things; eat the breakfast, drink water, brush teeth. And whenever I try anything like that, Dylan is like, “Mama, I only play that with daddy.” We used to have such unpleasantness every morning, and I am so grateful to Ben for just taking that over and gifting the all of us this loving morning experience.

So, Dylan leaves just before 8:00 to catch the school bus. And my mom, she lives nearby, she's also a huge help to me. She comes to walk Dylan to the school bus, and then walk Sky and throw the ball for her. Shy’s and active breed, she's a Border Collie, and she needs to exercise at least two times a day.

That used to just add another component of in our life, but now, even if I didn't have mom, I would send Dylan to the bus stop by himself. We can do that; we live on a military base. And I would have a dog walker. I would not be taking away from business time to walk the dog.

Old me would have thought, “I'm not going to pay that much for a dog walker each week.” But nowadays, again, I value my hours, whether in or out of business, at my hourly rate; even though I don't have an hourly rate. But still, as if what I could earn in that hour.

Honestly, my mom loves the morning exercise, and loves seeing Dylan and being close to us, so it's really a win for everyone. I get ready in about 30 minutes, sometimes more if Ben had an early meeting, and I was the one getting Dylan out the door. Or if I'm answering Voxer messages, which I do a couple days a week, it can lead into a longer time. But typically, it's about 30 minutes.

I do that by only styling my hair once a week. I've trained my scalp to produce less oil. And then, sometimes on a Wednesday or Thursday, I throw in some dry shampoo. Maybe sometimes I'll wash my hair, but I really only style and straighten it once a week.

I keep the makeup really simple, I just have a tinted sunscreen, mascara. And then, when I'm feeling really fancy, I'll do my brows. But that is the work uniform. Speaking of uniforms, I wear a lot of black. So, simple mix and match.

Though sometimes, maybe I'll throw in a top with color. But for me, it's really about the texture of the materials and the craftsmanship, versus the color or the patterns. So, I don't have to spend a lot of time deciding on clothes.

This really speaks to the importance I place on this concept of “the rock.” Giving yourself that simplicity and that stability, which helps with your nervous system regulation, so that you can then stretch yourself and take risks, be more present and engaged, and be more creative in other areas. Dress, I believe, is one reflection of that.

I can say that I was very influenced by designers in New York City in the early 2000s. When I was there, I was working in jewelry design. I was very tapped into the design world. I noticed how people at the top of their game, thinking of Donna Karan and Vera Wang, and even Calvin Klein or Steve Jobs really, would wear simple uniforms day in and day out, and then have a wildly vibrant and creative outward expression.

It speaks to how much I value the life of the mind, and how I want to use my mind for very creative, bold, brave, thought leadership in the world. But now, I've trained my brain to question everything so I can come up with so many counter examples of people who express through their clothes, as well as their work.

But right now, I love dressing in this way. Except for some of my summer beachy clothes or ballgowns for military balls, I don't have a whole lot of color. I keep things very easy and simple for dressing.

The one place where I might place some thought is with my jewelry. I used to have a jewelry design company, and like I said, I worked in the industry for years, so I have several of my own pieces that I've made, plus others that I've collected from travels and whatnot. I do love me some precious metals and gemstones, especially if they have really clean lines.

Alright, move away from apparel and into meals. Again, not a lot of variety. I'm not quite like my coach, who ate the same thing every day. But what’s interesting, is we have a cookbook on Blue Zone cuisine. Those are the areas of the globe where there are more centenarians, and people are living longer and healthier lives.

In the foreword, they were talking about how they've noticed in these cultures that they really kind of tend to eat the same ingredients over and over in different ways. There's a hypothesis that that might help their immune system better recognize, I want to say intruders but it's not intruders, just basically recognize foreign pathogens I guess, that the immune system would need to attack.

Because they have such a regular input into their bodies, it's very apparent when something is not self, or not normal. Again, just interesting anecdotal evidence that made me think’ hmm.’ But really, it is again, just for cutting out the cognitive load.

And so, I have about three breakfast choices that I choose from. And just so you know, my decisions are never, ever based on what's fattening, I don't diet at all. In fact, I look for ways to add more healthy fats in my diet. And even if I'm consuming dairy or sugar, it's always full fat, real sugar, and not a sugar substitute or a fat substitute, or anything like that. So, I don't usually snack, and therefore my choices are more about what fills me up and sustains my energy until the next meal.

The reason I don't snack is just because I don't remember to snack. Potentially, there's some neurodiversity, some ADHD, and when I do start working I tend to hyperfocus, and so I'll just stay in there. Often, I'll skip meals. I have to remind myself to eat a meal.

I'll eat mostly vegetarian, plant-based, for breakfast and lunch. Sometimes at lunch, I'll have fish or dinner leftovers, because they usually do tend to have meat. So, for breakfast, again, I will choose from either a bean burrito if I have a tight morning. I want to have my burrito as I'm, for instance, doing my hair or getting ready. That's kind of a very convenient, easy choice for me.

Or I will have eggs and Ezekiel bread with peanut butter, and then apple butter on top of that. Or I'll have oatmeal with some sort of coconut oil or butter and nuts mixed in and a little bit of honey, and some fruit with yogurt.

A typical lunch is something like stir fried veggies with tofu, and maybe brown rice, or Indian food, something of that style. Kind of like a Mexican bowl, that type of style, where there's some sort of rice base, usually brown rice base, and then some veggies.

So, many of these meals do come from delivery services. We currently live in the middle of cow country, rural Pennsylvania, and we have to drive two hours to get to a Whole Foods. And really, the only healthy takeout around here is Chipotle. So, a lot of it is delivered so that I can just throw together what I need to throw together.

When I have calls starting at 9:00, obviously I start at 9:00. Other days, I may start at 9:30 or 10:00, if I've maybe been answering Voxer messages. Or maybe I get a hit about some podcast idea that I want to jot down before breakfast. Sometimes I love having breakfast while I'm watching a training video or something, that's really fun when I can do that.

But you'll see that other than my really very brief morning meditation, I don't have the kind of morning routine that others prioritize and swear by. I tend to just get right into it. At this point, I still have a fair amount of one-to-one calls. I still do all of my own sales calls.

I only work until 3:30, when Dylan comes home. Plus, I often take a half hour or 45 minutes to make lunch and have lunch with Ben. So, I move at a fairly healthy clip, let's say.

I tend to have my client calls on Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. Typically, two to three a day. I have sales calls on Mondays and Fridays. And then, on Tuesdays and Thursdays, that's when I have calls for my own development.

So, at any given time, I always have a coach. I have some sort of business development. Like, I'm working with a designer for the website and that requires me thinking and making decisions or creating copy, right? Or I'm working to launch a podcast, or now I'm working with someone to help with podcast growth, etc. So, some sort of business development.

I have my therapy, as well. I've been doing EMDR therapy for about a year. I highly recommend it to anybody that has kind of trauma responses, or anything going on where you are triggered and you're like, “Whoa, that did not seem like a measured response.”

Then, there is also, typically some type of professional development, some training to broaden or to deepen my skills as a coach. So, four things that I'm doing at any given time for my own development. With the remaining whitespace, I may be reviewing client work, or meeting with an accountant, or responding to an email, or there's something that I want to post myself on social.

But I spend very little time on social. I have a team that does that for me. They repurpose the podcasts clips, and I have a VA that posts all of it for me. So, I'm often going days without even opening the apps. But with things like this, I purposely don't leave myself tons of time to do them, because otherwise I know it will expand and just consume more time.

I try not to schedule anything at all on Wednesdays, so that I can have some concentrated space for creating content or the business development that I was just talking about.

You might have heard me talk about mindset and manifestation, and you might be wondering now, “But when do you sit down and journal about your subconscious beliefs? Or declare your desires or do visualizations?” There was a period where I needed to do a lot of that stuff, but now it just happens while I'm walking the dog or I'm brushing my teeth.

I've had clients say, “I've created so much transformation here, in the Clarity Accelerator, and it's been amazing. But now, I just need to take a break for a bit. All this personal development stuff, it's kind of grueling.” But I don't think of it in that way. For me, it's a very comfy, happy space to be in communion with my higher Self.

And so, when I approach my limiting beliefs, or belief building, I do so from a place of curiosity and anticipation. It's actually something fun for me to do, daydream as I walk my dog, for instance.

And as I'm uncovering things about myself, I'll be like, “Oh, interesting, I guess I was thinking that. Oh, that's so good to know. Oh, I can see how this idea seems a little sticky. But I'm recognizing progress and evidence. And that's so exciting to think about, what's going to unfold as I release more and more of this thing that's been holding me back.”

It feels very good. But it's happening all the time. I no longer have to create the space for my brain to do that, thinking that otherwise, it won't happen. I'm just always doing it.

I realized, funny enough, I forgot to talk about social media. I know a lot of you are spending a lot of time on social media. Of course, I've said that I have a team that will repurpose my podcast excerpts and put that out for me, but I do look over all of it. I rewrite a lot of the posts, to make sure it's something that I would actually say and something that I actually believe in.

But starting a habit that I began when my son was a newborn, I really only do that in a focused way, about once a month. So, once a month, I'll go and I'll review everything, I'll batch it together, and then I'm done for the month. That's something that I started doing long ago when I was creating my own content. And I've continued that pattern now, as I am reviewing content.

If I'm going to spontaneously take the dog for a walk or do some yoga or journal or anything, I do have the space to do that. If I want to get a massage or have lunch with mom, I have the space to do that. But mostly, that's when I do my newsletter, and anything proactive that I want to do in my business.

So, when I say proactive, here are the things that I'm currently focusing on for my business growth. I've brought on a new operations manager. So, I'm spending more time with her now to get her on boarded. I'm looking to diversify my lead acquisition; the way that I bring people in to know about us and hear about us.

My people tend to spend a lot of time with the podcast, so I'm placing particular focus there. And you'll probably see some changes coming up in the podcast in the future. I'm looking to create highly effective ways of getting my clients results, without needing the personal time with me. But I am not jumping into anything. I'm doing that very carefully and methodically, monitoring client results.

Then, of course, my long-term vision hinges on creating a very strong community of women who are creating these uncommon businesses and lives. So, I'm always looking for ways to enhance that experience and help my people develop even tighter bonds in the collective.

All of the business activities that I do, or that I invest in, need to support those pillars. Again, it's helping me with decision making. I also stagger all of them. So, even though they're things that I would love to do, they're just not on the calendar for a while.

Last thing about the work week, I also work Sunday mornings. Dylan goes to my mom's. I believe it's very important for him to have time with older generations. And Ben finally gets some alone time. He's an introvert, but his job, and his extrovert son, currently don't allow him much introvert time. So, I'm by myself during those Sunday mornings, and that's when I create my podcast episodes for y'all. Right now, it is Sunday.

If I were working all of the time, Monday through Friday, from 9:00 to 3:30, and then Sundays for a few hours, I'd probably be at about 35 hours a week of work, but it rarely works out that way. I'll talk about that in a second.

But yes, on weekdays, I stop work at 3:30, I get ready to pick Dylan up from the bus stop, then we'll walk home, he'll decompress a little bit, I'll make him a snack, and when he's ready, we'll often play a bit or color or something until Ben comes home.

Then there's this very highly orchestrated maneuver. I'm laughing at my description of this, but it's pretty accurate actually, where we take care of business. Like, one of us walks the dog while the other plays with Dylan. And then we switch off, so the other person works out, and then the other person's with Dylan.

Unfortunately, we don't live around other kids. One of the greatest benefits of a military base, is that the kids are safe to just run around in little packs and have tons of unstructured, unsupervised play. There aren't any fences so the kids have big open fields and things. That's a big reason why we chose this assignment. Why we chose specifically to live on-post rather than off-post, which we frequently do.

But unfortunately, the housing is divided by seniority, and so most of the people around us who are older, like us, have older kids. Dylan's friends live within a bike ride, but he's still not always looking both ways when he crosses the street, or with cars backing out of driveways.

He just gets really distracted, and so that's not an option yet, for us to just send him down there. And so, he really considers us his best friends and playmates. He's very, very active, so really exercising him and exercising the dog and exercising us, that's really the focus of our afternoons.

Ben and I switch off each day with the working out and the dog walking, like I said, and also with cooking and cleaning up dinner, and putting Dylan down.

For my own workouts, I have pretty short, concentrated workouts. I'll do either yoga, or I'll do something that is more kind of like circuit training, but here in the house, using body weight. So, lots of squats or lunges, and kind of high-intensity circuit training, where you're going for a short amount of time, Not necessarily full high-intensity training, because my specific game really is more of the strength building, although there's a cardio component to it, but I'm not trying to lose weight. I'm trying to build muscle and tone and strength.

Then, of course, have my yoga to keep myself flexible, and not just get all tight and bubble muscle, where I can't even get down on the floor with my son anymore because I'm just so inflexible. During the week, there's usually some kind of sports practice for Dylan. Again, Ben and I'll switch off taking him there, or sometimes my mom will take him.

In the warm weather we have a little more to do. There's a farmers market with live music that we’ll often go to once a week. There's another little outdoor kind of bar area here on-post, where they typically have a bouncy house. Again, that’s one day a week. The kids all get together and play together, so we'll go there.

But those things drop off in the winter. Like I said, we do not live in a vibrant city. We will soon, starting next summer, so we'll see how things change. But right now, there aren't really restaurants we want to go out to, or events that we want to be a part of. So, our life is very, very quiet.

After Dylan goes to sleep, Ben and I like to catch up on our day. I don't know if I mentioned it, but Dylan goes down at about eight o'clock at night. Then, Ben and I like to catch up on our day a bit, and once a week we sit down and we sync all of our schedules. We think about meals for the next week. We get that all planned out and ordered, and usually make one run to the grocery store, only on the weekends.

Then we relax maybe, and watch a show from 8:30 to 9:30, sometimes to 10:00. At which point, I get ready for bed. I put on all my night creams and do all the things, and then do a final nighttime meditation. I try to get to sleep by 11:00pm.

I just described the ideal scenario. I say I like spontaneity and adventure in life, but the truth is, I only like it sometimes. I love my routines. Also, I have a 2 line in Human Design, a profile line, which is The Hermit. And I do love to hermit. Part of the reason is, because I haven't yet told you about all the things, all the reality, that disrupts the schedule I just mentioned.

So, there are doctor's appointments. There are doctor's appointments for my son, and sports physicals, there's getting the dog groomed. We’re thinking of moving to Spain, so now we have to hop on a call with an attorney, or we need to research the schools over there. Or it's time to create the yearly Christmas Calendar, so the grandparents can see Dylan's best pictures from the year. Or Ben has a conference, so now I'm a single mom this week, etc. etc., right?

Living where we do, we don't have a lot of domestic help. We can't hire a house manager to make sure that the carpets are getting cleaned, and the laundry gets washed and folded. So, there are many things that I'm still doing that I don't plan to be doing forever.

Because I understand that managing a child and running a house is a job. Our way of living was really designed for a single breadwinner, and then the other spouse, usually the woman, taking care of everything else. We don't have that anymore. And yet, the number of hours in the day has not increased.

In fact, the New York Times published a pretty famous article showing that working moms now spend more concentrated time with their children than stay at home moms did in the 70s. So, I used to have drama around all of that. Like, “Well, I should be able to do it all.” But I've released a lot of that. I should not be able to do it all, and I want my house manager, dammit. So, to be continued on that front.

Now, quick note, you might be thinking, “Wait, but how many doctor's appointments are you really going to?” When I was younger, I'd go once per year, maybe have a mammogram, go to the dentist once, and that was it. But now, there's more things that crop up. I don't want to play into the stereotype of things start breaking down when you're 50, or anything like that.

But I do go to an eye doctor. There are different kinds of laser appointments and micro-needling, and maybe physical therapy, and several dental appointments. In my experience, more things have accumulated now than I used to think about. Now I try to only schedule one or two of those extra things a week, but they do invariably take away from the ideal of this complete work week.

And, we do travel frequently. We were in Spain for all of July. We were getting Dylan enrolled in kindergarten in August, and there was some drama so it took a fair amount of my time dealing with the district, and all the different things. I had surgery in September. Then, in October, we had the Clarity Collective retreat in Mexico. We celebrated my husband's birthday in the Turks and Caicos.

We do have this blissful period in November to regroup, but then, in December, we're taking Dylan out to see Ben's parents in Texas, and then going to see my dad and stepmom in California. In January, Ben is going to be a visiting professor at Johns Hopkins for a couple of months. So, he'll be gone for a half week, and I'll have some juggling to do being alone here.

Plus, I would really like to take Dylan to Disney World, since we might be leaving the States in the summer. We'll see. Because in February, Ben and I are headed back to Majorca to checkout schools in person, and really make that final decision for ourselves.

And then, if we do end up deciding to leave after Ben retires, leave the States, I will need to take another trip there in the spring in order to secure my Digital Nomad Visa and be able to bring the family over. Of course, in March and April we'll be prepping for Ben's retirement and our move.

So, because of things of that nature, I used to work almost every night to compensate for everything I'm describing here. Because not only do some of those things, like the research, bleed over into the day… For instance, the only time we could meet with the attorney is during my work day. But also, whenever I'm traveling, my client calls get moved to the weeks before and after. So, those are busier weeks too.

And so, again, I used to work almost every night. In fact, I would only take nights off because I felt guilty about not giving Ben any “me” time. Luckily, that has changed. Maybe I'll work a night if I haven't finished my podcast, or I didn't plan well, or something kind of comes up out of the blue. But it is more and more rare.

When it does happen, I don't beat myself up about it, or even really have any big thoughts about it. I just kind of get it done. That really goes back to the mindset work that I talked about at the beginning. Because what keeps me sane isn't the schedule, it's the mindset.

Although, of course, my schedule is a reflection of my mindset, right? In the way that I'm able to make choices. And what makes things feel crazy, isn't all the to-dos of life, at least not 100% the to-dos, it's your reaction to them. What you make it mean, if you do or don't do those things.

I've built up a tolerance for, and really a compassion, for the part of me that wants to work so much, that does have big dreams, that wants to move things forward and get things done. And because I can manage that, I'm not needing to react to it. I'm not letting it drive me in the way that it used to.

All of the mindset things I mentioned earlier, the fears about money, the needing to prove myself to people, needing to prove myself to myself, what it would mean if I did or didn't accomplish this thing, what it would mean if someone had a negative thought about me, if I didn't get this thing to my contractor on time and I would, in some way, disappoint them...

All of those things really used to drive me and take me out of my agency. The structure that I've created around myself is very much a reflection of the structure I've created in my mind. That structure and routine, which really represents the masculine energetic, is what allows my creativity and my downloads and my playfulness. And in essence, really the feminine energetic, that is what allows it all to flow so easily and regularly and to manifest powerfully.

All right, you all, I hope that that was helpful. Again, please reach out to me if you have any more topic ideas, or even any questions about this one. As you make your way through this journey yourself, just remember that deep down you know who you are, and each day you're stepping further into what you're here to create. Have a great week.

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Come join us and supercharge every other tool or tactic you'll ever learn, from Facebook ads to manifestation. Just go to TheUncommonWay.com/schedule and set up a time to talk. I can't wait to be your coach.

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